A.N.: Finally the end of the story is approaching... Hope you all liked it
and thanks to
everyone who reviewed.
Epilogue:
He felt uncomfortable – no that was an underestimation, a lie – he was... afraid. So feared there were no words to express it. He was afraid to get back to work, to see peoples' reactions, to live with the looks and whispered words they would give him – he was deeply afraid to enter the station. That much afraid, he was thinking about runing away, about fleeing and hiding since it came to his sight. Last time he had been here, about three and a half weeks ago, the lieutenant had thrown him out, had told him to leave and not to come back. But now the case was down, he had been released from hospital and he was cleared for duty – he had to come here, although he currently wished to be at any other place in the world than this. He didnd't wanna see this people, didn't wanna cope with their behavior, didn't wanna endure their reactions... They hadn't believed him, they believed he was capable of raping a young woman without even doubting it an some of them – and he was more than a hundred percent positive on that – still believed he had done it. Faith had tried to assure him everything would be alright; that people really had been concerned about the events and his state and that they cared for him.
But he didn't believe her. He hadn't said a word against her, but he was deeply sure she was lying. And now – with going in there – he would've proof. Proof he was not really interested in, that wouldn't comfort him in any way, but proof as life brought it – hard and painful. There was no chance to escape that.
He took all the courage he had, inhaled deeply and crossed the street to get to the station's front entrance. While crossing it, he desperately wished for a car striking him or a drive by shooting having him in the middle. Anything that would keep him, rescue him from entering that place. But it wouldn't happen. He knew everything had changed, Judy had changed everything. Maybe that had been what she wanted to happen. Of course her first motivation had been to kill him. But now she had managed to influence his whole life, change it, decrease it – forever and he believed that was even more what she had wanted to feel him. She had wanted to feel him like hr. That one short moment could take everything from you, you thought you had. Self assurance, pride, joy and the believe to always do the right thing. It had just been a short moment when he had sex with Judy and standing with her in that dimly lit room when she revealed who she was and tried to kill him had been an even shorter moment – but it had changed his life. Not only fisically- although the gunshot wound had needed therapy – but mostly psychologically. She had left him back doubtful and afraid. And as much as Faith tried to assure him everything was okay and back normal, he knew it wasn't. He had crossed the street and was standing in front of the building's doors without even realizing it. He knew he had to go in there and he also knew he couldn't do it. He closed his eyes for a second, breathed slow and deep and opened the door to get in.
Before he even had a chance to talk to one of the co-workers he believed he could still trust in or managed to escape, from the people's interested and curious gazes, to the locker room, somebody was yelling his name half through the building. He knew this voice. He looked into the direction it had come from and spotted the lieutenant standing at the counter and looking at him directly.
"Boscorelli!"
He winced by the sound of his name ringing through the prencipt - he had the irrational feeling that the world suddenly slowed down and stopped in a moment of everybody being present turning around and facing him. He was really starting to get paranoid. He headed to the lieutenant, but didn't dare to look at him. Now it would happen, now he would have to talk to him, now he would tell him that – after what had just occurred in the past few weeks – he was unbearable for this department, now he would throw him out.
"I want you in my office right now."
The beginning of this first working day was far worse than he even had imagined.
"Yes, Sir."
He answered in a calm, almost shaky voice and followed him into his private office. The lieutenant closed the door behind him and signaled him to sit down. The lieutenant walked around his desk, sat down and gave him a serious look. Bosco tried to imagine what he would hear next, what Swersky would tell him, how he would tell him to leave and he became more and more nervous. So when the lieutenant finally started to talk to him, he was puzzled by his question, for he hadn't expected it.
"So, how are you?"
He hesitated for a few moments – he really hadn't expected the lieutenant would be interested in that. But maybe he just tried to be polite.
"I'm better, Sir."
"And you think you're clear for duty?"
There it was – at last Swersky tried to get rid of him in a pretty friendly and cautious way, but he wouldn't make it to easy for him.
"Yes Sir, I'm absolutely positive about that."
The lieutenant paused for a few seconds before he looked at him once again – concern was visible in his eyes.
"There's something we need to talk about."
Bosco breathed in deeply – it would finally happen. Quicker and more early than he had thought.
"Okay..."
"I know you have been talking about it with Yokas already – I asked her about it... About how to go on now, how to deal with the events of the past few weeks..."
Bosco was unable to answer him, he just stared right to his face, mild panic in his eyes and deeply afraid of what he would hear next. The lieutenant had a soothing tone in his voice.
"She told me your were pretty afraid of your first day back at work."
This was torture, how dare he was talking about his feelings, about his fears and would throw him out a minute later. He swallowed hard and tried to find his voice again.
"Yes Sir..."
He just couldn't believe what he heard next.
"And I assure you – there's no reason for it. The case is down and we all know you were innocent. There's no one who blames you and no one who believes you are a criminal. They all care for you and they have been deeply concerned about your condition. I just wanted you to know that you are wanted back here and that we all welcome you warmly. So don't fear anything – especially not this first day back at work."
The lieutenant rose and gave him a little smile.
"I wish you all the best for today – have a safe shift."
Still unable to believe what had just happened, he almost rose automatically and managed to mumble an answer.
"Thanks, Sir."
Boso left the office, scanned the foyer of the prencinct and started to smile. He was still here, he was still working – they weren't blaming him and he hadn't been thrown out. Of course it would never be the same as it was before – Judy had been right with that – but there was a chance, a chance the situation would improve, would normalize and there would be the day it would be close to normal again. Only close to it, but that was more than he had ever been expecting.
Faith stepped to him and gave him a smile.
"Can we go?"
Bosco turned to her and his smile got wider as he answered her.
"Yeah sure – I'll be driving!"
everyone who reviewed.
Epilogue:
He felt uncomfortable – no that was an underestimation, a lie – he was... afraid. So feared there were no words to express it. He was afraid to get back to work, to see peoples' reactions, to live with the looks and whispered words they would give him – he was deeply afraid to enter the station. That much afraid, he was thinking about runing away, about fleeing and hiding since it came to his sight. Last time he had been here, about three and a half weeks ago, the lieutenant had thrown him out, had told him to leave and not to come back. But now the case was down, he had been released from hospital and he was cleared for duty – he had to come here, although he currently wished to be at any other place in the world than this. He didnd't wanna see this people, didn't wanna cope with their behavior, didn't wanna endure their reactions... They hadn't believed him, they believed he was capable of raping a young woman without even doubting it an some of them – and he was more than a hundred percent positive on that – still believed he had done it. Faith had tried to assure him everything would be alright; that people really had been concerned about the events and his state and that they cared for him.
But he didn't believe her. He hadn't said a word against her, but he was deeply sure she was lying. And now – with going in there – he would've proof. Proof he was not really interested in, that wouldn't comfort him in any way, but proof as life brought it – hard and painful. There was no chance to escape that.
He took all the courage he had, inhaled deeply and crossed the street to get to the station's front entrance. While crossing it, he desperately wished for a car striking him or a drive by shooting having him in the middle. Anything that would keep him, rescue him from entering that place. But it wouldn't happen. He knew everything had changed, Judy had changed everything. Maybe that had been what she wanted to happen. Of course her first motivation had been to kill him. But now she had managed to influence his whole life, change it, decrease it – forever and he believed that was even more what she had wanted to feel him. She had wanted to feel him like hr. That one short moment could take everything from you, you thought you had. Self assurance, pride, joy and the believe to always do the right thing. It had just been a short moment when he had sex with Judy and standing with her in that dimly lit room when she revealed who she was and tried to kill him had been an even shorter moment – but it had changed his life. Not only fisically- although the gunshot wound had needed therapy – but mostly psychologically. She had left him back doubtful and afraid. And as much as Faith tried to assure him everything was okay and back normal, he knew it wasn't. He had crossed the street and was standing in front of the building's doors without even realizing it. He knew he had to go in there and he also knew he couldn't do it. He closed his eyes for a second, breathed slow and deep and opened the door to get in.
Before he even had a chance to talk to one of the co-workers he believed he could still trust in or managed to escape, from the people's interested and curious gazes, to the locker room, somebody was yelling his name half through the building. He knew this voice. He looked into the direction it had come from and spotted the lieutenant standing at the counter and looking at him directly.
"Boscorelli!"
He winced by the sound of his name ringing through the prencipt - he had the irrational feeling that the world suddenly slowed down and stopped in a moment of everybody being present turning around and facing him. He was really starting to get paranoid. He headed to the lieutenant, but didn't dare to look at him. Now it would happen, now he would have to talk to him, now he would tell him that – after what had just occurred in the past few weeks – he was unbearable for this department, now he would throw him out.
"I want you in my office right now."
The beginning of this first working day was far worse than he even had imagined.
"Yes, Sir."
He answered in a calm, almost shaky voice and followed him into his private office. The lieutenant closed the door behind him and signaled him to sit down. The lieutenant walked around his desk, sat down and gave him a serious look. Bosco tried to imagine what he would hear next, what Swersky would tell him, how he would tell him to leave and he became more and more nervous. So when the lieutenant finally started to talk to him, he was puzzled by his question, for he hadn't expected it.
"So, how are you?"
He hesitated for a few moments – he really hadn't expected the lieutenant would be interested in that. But maybe he just tried to be polite.
"I'm better, Sir."
"And you think you're clear for duty?"
There it was – at last Swersky tried to get rid of him in a pretty friendly and cautious way, but he wouldn't make it to easy for him.
"Yes Sir, I'm absolutely positive about that."
The lieutenant paused for a few seconds before he looked at him once again – concern was visible in his eyes.
"There's something we need to talk about."
Bosco breathed in deeply – it would finally happen. Quicker and more early than he had thought.
"Okay..."
"I know you have been talking about it with Yokas already – I asked her about it... About how to go on now, how to deal with the events of the past few weeks..."
Bosco was unable to answer him, he just stared right to his face, mild panic in his eyes and deeply afraid of what he would hear next. The lieutenant had a soothing tone in his voice.
"She told me your were pretty afraid of your first day back at work."
This was torture, how dare he was talking about his feelings, about his fears and would throw him out a minute later. He swallowed hard and tried to find his voice again.
"Yes Sir..."
He just couldn't believe what he heard next.
"And I assure you – there's no reason for it. The case is down and we all know you were innocent. There's no one who blames you and no one who believes you are a criminal. They all care for you and they have been deeply concerned about your condition. I just wanted you to know that you are wanted back here and that we all welcome you warmly. So don't fear anything – especially not this first day back at work."
The lieutenant rose and gave him a little smile.
"I wish you all the best for today – have a safe shift."
Still unable to believe what had just happened, he almost rose automatically and managed to mumble an answer.
"Thanks, Sir."
Boso left the office, scanned the foyer of the prencinct and started to smile. He was still here, he was still working – they weren't blaming him and he hadn't been thrown out. Of course it would never be the same as it was before – Judy had been right with that – but there was a chance, a chance the situation would improve, would normalize and there would be the day it would be close to normal again. Only close to it, but that was more than he had ever been expecting.
Faith stepped to him and gave him a smile.
"Can we go?"
Bosco turned to her and his smile got wider as he answered her.
"Yeah sure – I'll be driving!"