Oh, and I tried to make it extra long to help with the forgiveness!
Chapter 21"I can't believe it's his birthday tomorrow and we forgot!" Lorelai exclaimed over the phone to her daughter.
"It's not like he's going to want to do anything, you know how he feels about his birthday," Rory answered back, slightly distracted by the mounting pile of homework which lay before her.
"It is a big deal though Rory. I can't believe with all that's been going on I forgot! What kind of friend am I that I could forget my best friends birthday?"
"Mom, Luke isn't going to want some big party, if anything, he would want something low key. I'm sorry I can't help more but I just have way too much to do in the next few days if I'm going to be able to come home for Thanksgiving," she ended, trying not to sound as harsh as she knew Lorelai would take it.
Her mother had been overwrought with emotions lately and it was easy to set her off. She knew her mother was completely stressed out, but it seemed almost every time they had talked in the last week it had ended with Lorelai crying, or yelling at her, though an apology was always quick to follow.
Her mother huffed and sighed deeply. "I know Rory, I'm sorry," her mother replied softly, "I just don't want anyone to feel that I am losing them in the shuffle."
"I know Mom, and none of us feel that way. This is such an exciting time for you, stressful by all means but it will be worth it."
"I know Kid," her mother sighed gently. "I'm going to let you go, get back to your studying because I need my Rory time soon before I go crazy," she added with a dramatic flourish.
"Going crazy huh, that's debatable," her daughter replied cheekily. "Love you Mom, take care, and tell Luke happy birthday for me," she said before quickly hanging up.
Two weeks had passed since the night Sookie had announced she was pregnant. It had been an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, but Lorelai was grateful for the love and support she had been receiving.
After the initial shock had worn off that night, the four friends had sat down and discussed where to go from there. It was decided that for the time being, the only people who were to know would be Rory, and Lorelai's parents.
Lorelai had waited with baited breath all that night. She had wanted to run to her daughter immediately, fling open the door and scream it to the world, but knew this was not an option. It had taken all of her strength, but in a show of great willpower she had held off, and decided to surprise Rory the next morning.
With little sleep, Lorelai had showed up at Rory's door at 6:45 the following morning. Not knowing when her daughter had classes, but wanting to be prepared just the same it had been decided. She knew like herself, her daughter was not a morning person, but she hoped the good news and extra large Luke's coffee would help to soften the blow of the early morning call.
Raising her hand to knock, Lorelai had been shocked when the door was yanked open and a frantic Paris ran past her. Without so much as a look back, Paris continued to fly down the hallway, nearly taking out another student in her panic. Shrugging and rolling her eyes, Lorelai had continued into the apartment, knowing that with a panicked Paris, her daughter had most likely been up from the racket.
"Knock knock," she had called, knocking quietly on Rory's door, before slowly swinging it open.
Her daughter had blinked back the morning fog, and looked at her groggily.
"Mom?" she questioned, "what are you doing here, is everything all right?" she said, sitting up in a semi-panicked state.
"Yea Kid, everything's great. I uh, I have news, but I don't know if it's apartment news, or go out to breakfast news," she had said, quickly building up to a good rant. Rory who must have sensed the impending rant, had raised a hand to silence her, before patting the spot on the bed next to her, and reaching for the cup of coffee which had long since been forgotten about in her hand.
Taking a long sip of the liquid goodness, she motioned for her mother to tell her.
"Sookie's pregnant," Lorelai let out softly.
Almost choking on the coffee, Rory's eyes widened, and upon swallowing, her mouth dropped open.
"Pregnant?" she questioned gently.
"You're going to be a big sister," she had said, acutely aware of the Cheshire cat grin over taking her face.
"Oh my God," Rory screamed out before throwing herself into her mother's arms and almost knocking them off the bed.
And so it went. For over an hour the girls had screamed and laughed, cried and giggled, dreamed and planned. Lorelai had shared her plan to tell her parents and her insecurities in doing so. She knew that they both knew that this was the plan, but still that little piece of her wanted to do it right, to be married first. She knew it wasn't an option, and that life was working out differently than she had planned, but that little piece of her held fast.
Lorelai was snapped from her thoughts as her stomach rumbled loudly. 'Time for Luke's' she thought, before quickly grabbing her purse and keys from the entryway table.
Entering Luke's she smiled cheerily at her favourite coffee provider. Sitting down in the back corner, she set up her laptop in front of her, and opened it to the file on the Dragonfly, making it clear to those around her that she was in work mode and not to be disturbed. Luke had quickly dropped off a large cup of coffee and two strawberry danish for her.
"I'm really swamped now but can we talk later?" she asked him quietly.
"Sure," he said, nodding, and walking away, leaving her to her work.
It amazed her but nothing had changed since the news of the pregnancy. Luke was still Luke, pouring her coffee, joking with her when the diner would be in a lull, and helping her around her house.
The almost kiss was not brought up, which made her happy. The feelings she had been having for her best friend were throwing her for a loop. She had always been attracted to him, and knowing what a great guy he was, but had never seriously considered dating him. So why now was she always thinking about it?
She had been extremely jealous of the other women in Luke's life. When Rachel came her insecurities had flared, seeing Rachel sans makeup, in all her natural beauty had torn her up. Geez she had thought, no wonder the man was single, he'd never find anyone who could top Rachel's beauty and charm.
It was her distain for Nicole that had brought about the biggest round of jealousy. Rachel had been gorgeous, an outdoorsy person who was healthy and adventurous just like Luke. The other women, who had flitted in and out, usually only long enough to keep Luke's flirting from getting rusty, had been just that, temporary. Knowing how good it felt to have your ego stroked, she knew he would never take them seriously. But Nicole, Nicole had posed a threat.
The relationship had come out of the blue, and from what she had heard, he approached her. Her quiet, shy Luke had approached a woman he had just met, a lawyer none the less, and asked her out. It offended her. Here she had been for over 5 years, sitting in front of him, and he had not even given her a second look. She had heard the rumours, but if the rumours were true, she would have noticed something, something more than the little spark in his eye when they had a particularly good banter.
In Europe was when it hit her, and boy did it hit hard. It had almost seemed as if he was asking her permission to move on with his life, to take his commitment to Nicole to another level, a level signified by a cruise, and when she had returned, she had realized she was right, and not only that, she had given him her permission!
She had entered the closed diner, luggage still in tow, wanting to make some things clear, what things she wasn't sure, but she knew with all the thoughts building in her mind, something was brewing and most likely to explode. Luke had hugged her warmly and told her how he had missed her. She had breathed him in, realizing just how much she had missed him, and how important he was to her. She was glad she had arrived just after close because the news he shared shocked her.
They had sat and talked about her trip until the focus turned to him. He had looked ashen, almost ashamed. Her stomach was flip flopping, she could sense that something had happened and that she was not going to like it, but was surprised by how much worse it actually was.
'I proposed to Nicole,' he said cutting to the chase. Before she could even digest the news he had continued. 'We, uh, we got married on the cruise ship.' It had felt like her heart had been ripped out and sat before her, still beating on the table. Unbeknownst to her, she stared at the table as if it actually lay there, beating for her eyes only. She could barely breathe. You just lost him was all she could think
'Wow, um congratulations,' she had finally manage to spit out.
'There's more,' he had said so quietly.
Her stomach tightened and she felt sick, 'she's pregnant' she thought to herself.
'We're getting divorced,' he said, sounding so defeated.
'What?' she had questioned, still feeling sick from the news.
'I'm so embarrassed Lorelai, I just, I don't know what happened. Things were so good on the ship, and you know I just kind of forgot about everything else. I wanted things to continue how they were, and I proposed. Nicole talked to the captain and he married us. It just happened so fast. The next day we woke up and just looked at each other and started avoiding each other. We both knew, but neither of us wanted to admit that it was a mistake, that we had just been drinking too much.'
She had watched him, her heart breaking. He looked so defeated, head hanging low, his head rolling and cracking occasionally, and finally looking to the heavens as if to ask for forgiveness.
'We were stuck on that cruise for another week. A week of avoiding each other, fake smiles, and barely speaking. When we got back is when it hit me, we're married, we live in different towns, and we hardly ever see each other as it is. She told me she would help me move in to her place and I snapped. I told her I needed time, that I wasn't expecting this. She flipped out and started yelling at me about how we were married and how we had to make it work. She told me how strongly her family felt about divorce, and how she couldn't hurt them like that. We didn't talk for almost two weeks after that.
A couple of nights ago, I decided I made my bed; it was time to lie in it. I wouldn't do that to her, I wouldn't make her face the humiliation of divorce. I packed up my truck and headed to her place. I found her in bed with some guy.'
She had watched the looks on his face as he told his story, felt her own nausea ebb and flow with the tale. He amazed her, how he would put Nicole ahead of himself, wanting to shelter her from the realities of what they had done.
'It's not your fault,' she had heard herself utter to him. 'You both made a mistake, and you tried to do what you thought was right.'
He continued to talk as if he didn't hear her, as if he was in a room alone, trying to sort through his thoughts.
'Oh, and she has the audacity to use my biggest hopes and fears against me. Things I had told her in confidence and now she's trying to bribe me to stay with her by using those things against me.' Looking as if someone had just twisted a knife in his stomach, he stood quickly, pushing the chair back before grabbing it and flipping it up on top of the table, signifying he was done for the night.
Sitting in the same seat as she had that night, Lorelai finally realized what he had meant by that statement. The night she had told him about her illness, he had mentioned how Nicole had tried to get him to stay in the relationship by telling him she would have children with him. It caused a bubble of anger to well up within her
How could Nicole do that? How could she use something so personal to her advantage? She had been the one to cheat, to make the decision that she wanted more than what he could give her. It was unfair and hurtful, and she couldn't understand how someone could sink so low. She couldn't understand it, Luke was everything to her, and to want more than that, more than what he could give a woman, it wasn't possible. She had never really stopped to think about it before but Luke filled every role that she wanted in a man.
She had told Rory once the 3 things she wanted in a man, 3 things that should be so simple, but were ending up as deal breakers when the men could not abide by them. Though she had not had many relationships, these 3 things were the guidelines she tried to live by.
Her most recent relationship had been Alex. He had been a great distraction but she had wondered if he could ever turn into more. On the outside it appeared he was perfect for her. A budding entrepreneur he had a nose for the perfect cup of coffee. Though the relationship had started for the wrong reasons, she did find him a good catch.
He had come into her life at the perfect time. Just out of a serious relationship, she had been looking for a rebound guy, a way to keep her mind trained away from Max, and the potential to go crawling back to him.
Alex was charming and funny. He took her on dates that she could easily right 'a best of' guide for. He peaked her interests, keeping a mix of things she would love to do, with a mix of things she would never consider. It kept her on her toes, never knowing what to expect it was a wild ride.
It all came to a screeching halt the night she invited him to Stars Hollow. For the most part, Lorelai had always met Alex out of town. Liking to keep her dating life separate it made it easier to meet him somewhere and go from there. It had been 2 months of fun filled dates, and finally she decided it was time to slowly start integrating him into her world.
She had invited him for a tour of the town. They had decided to meet at the Independence Inn and go from there. Everything had been fine until they got to town. With strange looks from all of the town's people, she had become increasingly nervous. With no idea of the quirks of the town, Alex had not noticed, and was continuously asking questions and pointing things out to her that amused him.
Finally when they had begun to circle back to the center of town was when it happened. Miss Patty made her way over to them with Babette and Gypsy hot on her heels.
'Lorelai, darling, aren't you going to introduce us to your hunky friend?' Miss Patty had purred out, eyeing him up and down.
Smiling broadly, she had let go of his hand and gestured wildly among them.
'Alex, this is Miss Patty, she runs the dance studio I pointed out earlier, and behind her is Gypsy our friendly local mechanic, and that, is my neighbour Babette who makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world,' she said quickly, trying to avoid whatever was to come next.
'Nice to meet you ladies,' Alex said cordially. 'Chocolate chip cookies, hmmm, maybe ill have to get your recipe for my coffee shops'.
'Coffee shop?' Babette rasped out. 'Poor Luke will be distraught!'
She had sighed deeply at that, and so it begins she thought to herself. Rolling her eyes she looked at the women gathered before them.
'Well it was nice to see you ladies but we have to go.'
'Okay Sugar, see you at the town meeting tonight!' Babette answered brightly before turning and heading off with the other women.
'Town meeting, we should go!' he said with a little too much enthusiasm for her liking.
They had finally decided to go to Al's. He had told her of his love for pancakes, but after explaining Al's themed menu's he had laughed at the hilarity, and made it clear that Al's Manic Manicotti Monday was where they needed to be.
They had sat and ate, Lorelai for once almost in silence. She had listened to Alex and was surprised by what he said. He had went on and on about her town, and her friends. At first it seemed funny. Lorelai being one to pick humour out of any situation was keenly aware of the little hidden gems of quirkiness that her town had to offer, but he was taking it too far.
He had first asked her if Babette was a chain smoker, as her voice was so raspy. Finding it perfectly acceptable, as Babette did have a rather unusual voice she just laughed it off and explained how great a singer Babette could be with a voice as unique as hers. When he had brought up how they must be pretty desperate for a mechanic around here to be hiring a woman, she had laughed loudly, assuming he was joking, until she saw the look on his face. Wanting to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible she cracked a joke about how often Gypsy had been under her hood. The last straw came when he had made a crack about Miss Patty's weight and how she must be an inspiration to all her little dancers. She had been about to take off when Kirk had come running in and plopped himself down at their table.
'I've been looking everywhere for you,' Kirk said, eyeing the extra dinner roll on the side of Lorelai's plate hungrily.
Rolling her eyes she pushed the plate toward him, making a silent gesture for him to take what he wanted and get on with it.
'Everyone's talking about your new Luke, I just had to see him for myself. Trading Luke in for a younger model huh?' he said, laughing at the hilarity of his words.
Alex looked at her questioningly and seeing she was not about to answer, he replied coldly, 'we'll I can't wait to meet this Luke I keep hearing about.'
Ever so helpful, Kirk stepped in before she could reply.
'Well, that won't be a problem he's probably on his way to the town meeting now' he said, putting another chunk of butter on the small piece of roll he had left.
She watched as his eyes widened and he let out a yelp, dropping the buttered roll onto the table, where it promptly bounced before falling to the floor.
'The meeting, the meeting, we're going to be late, come on lets go,' he yelped, standing up and waiting impatiently for them to follow.
'Oh no Kirk, I think we're going to sit this one out.'
'No Lorelai, it's okay, I would love to see this meeting,' he replied, stressing the word love.
She sat through the meeting fuming. She couldn't believe the way Alex was acting. She could understand some of the jealousy he was having when Luke's name was mentioned as the town was making it seem as if Luke was her recent ex, but the things he said about her friends, and the way he seemed to be looking down on her town infuriated her.
When the meeting finished, they were quickly swarmed by Miss Patty and Babette, who dragged them to Luke's, explaining on the way, how Luke's was the local hangout.
When they entered Lorelai was struck by the look Luke was giving her. She couldn't figure out what it was, but assumed he was mad because of all the Alex talk that was sure to have been flitting into his diner. With the way the townies were making it seem on her end, she could only imagine what Luke was hearing.
'Coffee coffee coffee,' she said as enthusiastically as she could muster, eyeing Alex, Luke looked down at him and held the pot out towards him.
'Please,' Alex responded, 'best to check out my competition,' he joked.
She couldn't take it as a joke though, she was tired and stressed, and very much rethinking her relationship with Alex.
'Well, you'll never steal my affections from Luke's coffee no matter how hard you try,' she replied with a fake smile, before quickly closing her eyes and inhaling the ambrosia goodness.
The date had pretty much ended there with Alex griping about how he thought his coffee was better, and Lorelai trying to tune him out.
She had decided to wait it out. Maybe this was just an off night, he in a bad mood snapping at everything, and she stressed out and over reacting to everything. Deciding to leave the ball in his court, she waited for his phone call. After a week of not hearing from him, she realized she hadn't even missed him.
She was pulled from her thoughts as Luke sat down, and lowered the laptop monitor.
"Hmm?" she questioned, confused by the interruptions of reality on her thoughts.
"I was just wondering if you planned on working tonight, on anything. You've been sitting there for hours and I haven't seen you type anything, and your shift here started 10 minutes ago," he said, eying her curiously.
"Oh my gosh Luke I'm so sorry I didn't even realize, just give me a minute to put this stuff away.
Setting everything back in her case, she looked around desperate for a safe place to put it, not finding one she looked to him, and he nodded to upstairs.
"Be right back," she said, jumping up and grabbing her stuff.
Once in his apartment, she took a deep breath. She found herself quite often becoming lost in her thoughts. Placing the bag on his coffee table, she quickly ran to the bathroom to straighten herself up.
Thinking of the pounding headache she was already starting to get, she quickly looked to Luke's cabinets, praying he would have some Tylenol. Opening a door she found it on her first try. Good old reliable Luke. Everything had a place, and strangely enough she could just look around and know where he would keep something.
It was weird to her, but she felt very at home in Luke's apartment. Though she had not been there often it was comfortable to her, made her feel safe. She assumed it was because of how small and cozy it was, simplistic, but featuring everything the man required.
She remembered how Max had kicked up a fuss about how she lived. He had made it clear to her that they would be organizing her things into some sense of semblance and possibly getting a maid. She had laughed hard at this until she realized he wasn't joking.
They had talked once, and he had said things come down to compromise in a marriage, in love. Not knowing how to respond she had nodded her head mutely, knowing how she hated compromise.
It wasn't until Luke had given her the chuppah, and they had talked so openly about life and love. She felt as if it was a two-way conversation, as opposed to the conversation with Max, which she had felt stifled. It was then that she realized how she felt her independence was being taken away from her.
It was the conversation with Luke that had started her downward spiral away from Max. She could feel herself pulling away and felt herself ready to snap. She had called Max that evening and fired off random questions.
'Do you have a coupon drawer? 'No, coupons are for people who don't have money,' he replied as if it was a given. Sighing inwardly at his answer she was about to continue when he interrupted her.
'If you're worried about money, don't. I can take care of us and you can stay home and take care of the kids. I know you're no cook, but that's ok, you could stay home and we could hire a cook, or we could eat out often.' She didn't know what to think, the idea of a houseful of children warmed her heart, but the thought that she would have to give up the job she held so dear, didn't.
'Will we have a white picket fence and a little dog?' she asked, trying to regain her focus. 'I don't care if we have a dog but I think my wrought iron fence would look terrible painted white.' He wants me to move she thought, the thought pulling at her heartstrings.
'Are you alright,' he had questioned, noticing her silence.
'Yea, just lots on my mind,' she said. Trying to figure a way out of the conversation she decided she needed to think.
'I have to go,' she told him softly, 'I have to call Rory.'
This had been the last time she talked to him, before leaving the message ending their engagement on his answering machine.
Pulling herself from her memories she sat the bottle of Tylenol back in the cupboard and made her way down to the diner.
It had been a long night. The diner had stayed packed the entire time that she worked. Luke looked exhausted and she felt the same. At 10 minutes to closing her phone rang. Seeing as the diner was deserted, Luke shrugged his shoulders and went into the kitchen leaving her to her call.
When he came back she was sitting at the counter, mug in hand with a pensive look on her face. She looked at him as he sat down and she nodded to the phone.
"My mother," she said.
Looking at her questioningly, he allowed her to continue on her own terms.
"She wants you to start coming to Friday night dinner."
"Is that so bad?" he questioned gently.
"I don't know," she answered softly. After a brief pause she continued.
"You don't know her Luke. Things have been so much better lately, but I still know what she can be like, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. They were so amazing when I told them about the baby."
"I wish you had let me come," he said gently, not hinting at hurt or anger, but softly letting her know that he wanted to be there for her.
"I know," she said her voice soft and wistful.
After leaving Rory's apartment, Lorelai had headed to the mall. She was thrilled to have shared the baby news with her daughter, but was nervous about telling her parents. Having discussed the situation with both of them already, she knew they were excited by the possibility of the pregnancy, but she still had lingering doubts in her mind. Picking up her necessary items, she had made her way slowly towards her parents home.
Upon her arrival she sat thinking about the way this pregnancy was different from her pregnancy with Rory. Though pretty much every circumstance had changed, she still had the sickening nervousness overtaking her. Pushing through the feeling, she had grabbed the centerpiece resting on the passenger seat, and made her way to the door.
When she had entered, she found her parents in the sitting room, her father's face buried in a newspaper, and her mother looking through her organizer.
'Morning,' she said gently.
'Good morning Lorelai,' her father said warmly, putting down his newspaper on the table in front of him.
Putting the string between the pages, her mother closed her book and set it beside Richard's long forgotten newspaper. Looking up she smiled before staring strangely at the item in Lorelai's hands.
'I picked up a centerpiece for you,' Lorelai said softly, placing the item on the center of the coffee table before them.
'Oh Richard,' Emily said excitedly. 'Remember I told you about these, their edible centerpieces, Penny Shearer had them at her daughters graduation,' she said, looking at the centerpiece. 'They're actually quite beautiful with the right décor,' she continued, fingering the delicate candy ribbon around the basket. 'I don't know what I think about the colour scheme though,' she said, trying to hide the grimace at the pastel colours.
Lorelai looked at her handiwork. She had purchased a beautiful edible creation in soft pinks and blues. Knowing this would not be enough for her parent's to clue in, she had added candy soothers along the bottom border of the basket, also in pinks and blues.
'These are my favourite,' she said, grabbing one of the candy soothers from the bottom and sticking it in her mouth, and sucking loudly.
'Really Lorelai,' her mother admonished, 'must you be so.' Stopping abruptly, her mother looked between her and the basket with a look of pure hope and amazement.
'Lorelai?' she questioned softly.
'I feel as if I've missed something,' Richard said, oblivious to the realization his wife had just made.
Looking at her lap she quickly tried to figure out what to say to her parents.
'Well Daddy, you're going to be seeing a lot more of these colours in the next 9 months.' Giving it a moment to sink in she looked up and continued. 'Sookie's pregnant.'
Her father looked floored, she knew he had still not fully clued in, but his facial features quickly turned into a smile that graced his entire face. He was elated and it was clear to see.
Her mother on the other hand had still not snapped out of her trance. She fingered the soft pink and blue candy lace, which wrapped the basket, only snapping from her thoughts when a piece broke off between her fingers. Laughing happily she popped the piece of candy into her mouth, before throwing her arms around her daughter warmly.
Sitting with her mother's arms around her, she vaguely heard her father say that this news called for a celebration. Losing herself in her mother's arms, she stayed there, relishing the way it felt.
Though she and her mother, had for the most part buried the hatchet, she never thought she would see the day where she felt so welcome in her mother's arms. The times they had shared since her revelation of her cancer had been tough, but had brought them so much closer. Though her father and her relationship had not changed as dramatically, she could feel a sense of warmth radiating from him, imagining that the open lines of communication between the ladies in his life had left him happier, and not feeling caught in the middle any longer.
Her mother released her as they heard her father re-enter the room. Handing them each a glass, he filled them all to the brim with sparkling cider. Seeing her confused look, Richard explained.
'You shouldn't be mixing alcohol with your medication Lorelai, even a little bit,' he said gently.
After toasting to the baby, they had sat and discussed how she had found out.
She had wanted to take Luke, as well as Sookie and Jackson. She wanted Rory there as well, she wanted it to be a family event, but knew there would be time for that. This conversation had to be just the three of them.
Snapping from her thoughts she remembered what she wanted to discuss with Luke.
"What are you doing tomorrow?' she questioned, the thoughts and ideas racing for dominance inside of her head.
"Taking the day off, going fishing,' he said, half questioning her thought process.
"Fishing?" she questioned, her nose wrinkling up at the thought.
"What's wrong with fishing?" he said defensively. "You seemed to like it when I taught you how to fish for that guy," he said clearly emphasizing 'that guy'.
"Oh yea," she replied sarcastically, "the getting up early, walking in the mud, touching worms. A true blast," she said rolling her eyes. "I think my favourite part was the fish that died in my bathtub a couple days later."
At the confused look he gave her, she just rolled her eyes. "Never mind," she said.
"Are you going to be gone all day?" she questioned softly.
"I was planning on it," he said slowly, eyeing her for her reaction.
At her pout, he rolled his eyes. "Why?" he questioned.
"It's your birthday, you can't be alone the whole day."
"That's what I do every year," he said, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.
"Luuke," she whined.
"Fine, and what do you suggest I do?"
Knowing from the sound of annoyance in his voice she didn't want to push too hard, but that she wanted to spend some time with him she thought of her best course of action.
"Come over for supper and a movie." At the look of disgust on his face at the mention of supper, she quickly continued.
"I'll order whatever you want for supper, and we can watch whatever you want," she compromised easily.
"What's the catch?" he asked cautiously.
"No catch," she laughed, knowing she was known for the caveats in her plans.
She was still thinking about her compromise when she woke the next morning. It had been easy to work their plans together, a feat she had not been able to accomplish in most of her relationships so far.
It hadn't seemed problematic to her, hell, she didn't even really think about it. Normally when a situation arose when she was at odds with someone of the opposite sex she would flip her hair, throw in a pout and BAM it was over, she was the victorious winner of whatever had been the prize.
She wanted to spend time with him on his birthday, and she knew how hard he worked, and that he hardly took time for himself ever. If he wanted to go fishing, she wanted to be able to give him that, not take it from him.
Thinking back to her list of rules she had told Rory she had for dating, she realized that the 3 long term relationships she had been in each broke a different rule.
Alex had broken rule 3, the rule that stated that the man of her dreams would feel at home in Stars Hollow, and would love it and respect its members as much as she did.
Max had broken rule 2, the rule stating for him to understand her independence and how all of her experiences, even the negative ones, had shaped her into the person she was today.
Finally that left her with one man, and one rule, for the man of her dreams to love her daughter unconditionally, as if she were his own. The rule seemed silly to be applied to this man, but after a lot of soul searching she had finally realized it. Though Christopher was Rory's father, he didn't love her as a father truly should. Sure, she supposed he did love Rory in his own way, but the way he had treated his flesh and blood over the years left him clearly out of the running for father of the year.
She remembered being so scared, embarking on a new life, baby in tow. Getting the job, surprisingly, had been the easy part. It was when there was only a small supply of money coming in, and she was unable to afford new clothes for her daughter, who was growing bigger and bigger by the minute.
She had called Christopher in a panic, not sure what to do, or where to go. He had told her he knew she couldn't do it, to go home and let her parent's take care of things. He understood her need for independence but he couldn't help her, he was being independent on his own, leaving the next day to start his life in California.
She had felt sick. She always thought that Christopher would be there for her. He didn't even want to hear the problem, he knew the immediate solution was for her to go home, alone to the cold shoulders of her parent's, worse, she wouldn't even have him as her escape. He would be leaving, no look back, he didn't care that he had a daughter who he hadn't seen in 6 months. Hell, he hadn't even seen her 5 times since her birth.
That's when he said it, the moment forever to be stuck in her mind.
'Come with me Lor.'
Maybe this was what she needed, to still be away from her parent's but with a second income to come in, a support system.
He had interrupted her thoughts, shattering the newly forming dream.
'Just me and you, miles of beaches and sun for us to explore.'
'And Rory?' she questioned numbly.
'Your parent's can hire a nanny.' Softening his voice he continud. 'It's not to late to put her up for adoption, Lor.' 'We were so young, we can make this right, get back on track.'
She decided then, with a quick flick of her wrist she had hung up the phone, cutting him off in mid sentence, and not spoken to him again for 3 years.
She knew then what she needed to do. She was going to be the best mother ever. Rory would not ever think she was a mistake, and if that took spreading her budget thinly, and being creative, so be it. That night she had begun to sew up old t-shirts of hers, and sometimes things she would find that had been left behind in the inn, and turn them into the hippest baby clothes anyone had ever seen.
Over the years she had taught Rory that her father was a good man, he just was too young to have a child. When a young Rory would question why she was old enough to be a mom but her father had not been old enough to be a father, she would make up a white lie, hoping it would sound plausible. Her daughter was far too smart for her.
The years past, and Christopher had been in and out of them sporadically. Most years went by with maybe 2 phone calls, usually directed at her, and if she was seeing anyone. She was usually quick to change the subject and redirect it to their daughter, but sometimes the loneliness she felt would get the better of her, and the conversation would become romantic.
Looking back it was clear. The only times Christopher had ever come to visit the small family, was after these phone calls. A quick fling would ensue, and suddenly, mother and daughter would be left broken hearted.
She didn't know what was worse, the times she tried to reconnect with him when Rory was little, or those times later when Rory was a young adult. A young Rory would be left confused, sometimes blaming herself, while an older Rory knew things weren't her fault, but was getting a horrible example of what a relationship was supposed to be.
When Christopher announced he was back for good she had been so happy. She felt validated in her choice to leave Max, knowing her family would be complete. The only problem was, it didn't feel complete. She could sense a tension in the household and couldn't figure out what it was. She imagined it was the lingering tension from her fight with Luke remaining in the house. Her daughter was still mad at her that she had blamed Jess for the accident, and that she had fought so vehemently with Luke. They were on edge from the fight, and from having a male in the house. Though the girl's only palace had seen one man, Max's stay had been short and left little dent in the girls' home, Chris's stay on the other hand, wasn't.
Though he had just left Sherry, he seemed ready to move on, and in, quickly. That was okay, wasn't it? This had been a long time in coming, he had always longed to be with them and his relationship with Sherry hadn't been serious, right? In the few short days he was back in her life it began to nag at her. As more and more of his stuff turned up, and he looked at moving to Stars Hollow, she wondered. Was it too soon, was her home just another temporary address for him, was he using this as an opportunity to pick up and leave on someone else?
She got her answer soon after. Days after the questions unleashed in her mind he was leaving her. She understood the reasons, she hated it, but she did understand. He didn't want to turn away from another child. He had finally gotten to the point of realizing what he had missed out on with Rory and he didn't want to miss out again. There were days she wanted to call him and tell him to come back, that if she could raise a child as a single teenager with no money, then a wealthy independent 30 something year old woman could too.
It wasn't fair for her to do that though, so she kept Luke's words in mind, that she would have her middle someday, and she trudged on. Things were going well in her life, so it was okay; she had other things to focus on.
Lorelai was snapped from her thoughts when she heard the phone ring. Still lazing in bed, she lay there and listened for the machine downstairs to pick up.
Hearing Luke's voice, she looked quickly at the clock. 12:47 blinked the angry red numbers on her alarm. Jumping from the bed she ran quickly down the stairs, not even bothering to put on more appropriate clothing.
Slowing to avoid crashing into the wall, she breathed deeply, trying to calm her racing heart from the short exertion it had received. Pressing the blinking button, she listened as Luke's voice filled the room.
"Hey, it's me, Luke." Rolling her eyes at that she leaned against the wall and continued listening.
"I just got back to the diner, and I figured I could get showered and changed. I have to open tomorrow so I thought we could start the movie early. I'll call you before I come over just to make sure it's okay."
She smiled at that, the poor man would probably be in bed by 9 even though it was his birthday.
"Oh, and I uh, caught some fish. I thought I could make them for supper if that's okay with you."
Wrinkling her nose she just stared at the phone.
"I can picture your face Lorelai you're either wrinkling your nose in disgust, or at the fact that I want to cook on my birthday. Just think about it and get back to me."
She heard the phone click and watched as the red flashing light of the answering machine calmed to a steady glow. Smiling to herself, she thought of how well Luke knew her, and how she had been wrinkling her nose to both the idea of fish and of him cooking. Wanting it to be his day fully, she moved to start straightening the downstairs before he called again.
An hour later she heard the tell tale signs of Luke's boots trudging up her steps, the slow creaky moans of the old wooden deck creating a rhythm only Luke could bring.
"Happy Birthday," she yelled loudly, startling him with both the volume of her voice, as well as the velocity at which she opened the door.
Luke stood before her, one hand reaching for the doorbell and the other clutching a bag. Glaring at her, he lowered his arm and walked the open door into the foyer.
"You could have given me a heart attack," he grumped as he continued on his way to the kitchen.
Smiling, she followed him into the kitchen, standing on her tiptoes to look over his shoulder at what he was setting out on the table.
"It would be easier to just step around me," he said, demonstrating his words by taking a step to the left, leaving her with an unobstructed view of what he had been doing.
Smiling demurely she looked up at him adoringly. "Happy Birthday Luke," she repeated again, this time softer.
Rolling his eyes he started to pull the items from the bag he had brought. Noticing how she had yet to move, he sighed, rolling his eyes at her playfully once again before speaking.
"Thank you Lorelai."
Smiling brightly she bounced on the heels of her feet.
"Did you have a good day?" she questioned, watching in fascination as he pulled out the ingredients for the meal.
"Yea, it was nice," he answered easily, continuing on with his task.
"Weren't you cold?" she questioned, looking out the window at the gentle flurries batting around the sky.
"Nah, it wasn't too bad," he said, placing a pot of water on the stove and setting it to high, "kept my gloves on."
She watched as he waited patiently for the water to come to a boil before adding rice to the pot. Stirring it gently, he turned his attention to the two small oven dishes, filling one with a mixture of carrots and baby corn, and the other with what she assumed was fish.
"What's that?" she questioned, pointing to the white 'meat' that he was sitting inside the pan.
"Fish."
When he failed to say more she sighed deeply. "Luuuke," she whined.
"You said it was okay that I brought the fish Lorelai," he said, slightly irritated by her look of disgust.
"I swear I didn't mean anything by it," she said, sidling up closer to him as he sat the pans into the oven to cook. "I just, uh, expected them to be scaley," wrinkling her nose she continued, "and staring at me."
Washing his hands he spoke to her over his shoulder. "I cleaned them for you," he said simply.
Her heart swelled at this. "You cleaned them for me?" she asked, looking up at him adoringly.
"Jeez," he said after getting a look at the adoration written on her face, "it had to be done I just figured I'd do it at home. You would have probably named it or something."
She laughed heartily at this and threw her arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly. Taken aback by her thoughtless action she was about to slink away until she felt his arms wrap around her, and felt the weight of his head as it leaned onto hers.
"Thanks for this," he said quietly.
"For what?" she questioned gently.
"Everything," he responded just as softly.
Needing to break the palatable vibe, she gently broke away from him and walked to the fridge. Pulling out two bottles of beer she held one out to him.
"What's say we drink this," he said, pulling out a bottle of chilled red wine from the bag he had brought in.
"Why Luke Danes, I never took you as a wino," she drawled out, putting the two beer back into the fridge.
With the meal finished, and the bottle of wine drained of its very last drop, Luke had washed the dishes, standing silently side-by-side Lorelai, as she dried them.
"Be right back," Lorelai said, walking with the wet cloths and heading towards the back porch to throw them in her ever growing laundry pile.
When she returned to the kitchen she was struck silent by the sight of Luke bent over, tying his shoe. Such a simple action and yet she was dumbstruck. My God he had a nice ass she thought, eyeing him as if Patty's spirit had entered her body.
Snapping herself from her thoughts, she smiled devilishly and rushed at him, jumping on his back and nearly sending them both to the floor.
"Shit," he yelped out, grabbing her legs that had wound around him with one hand, and using his other hand to brace himself against the wall.
Giggling, she held on tighter, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder, the top of her head pressing against his neck.
He wanted to get mad but couldn't the alcohol had been poured a bit to freely, and Lorelai was a free spirit. It didn't hurt that she smelled amazing, and held onto him so tightly.
Standing up he walked them to the living room before depositing her on the couch.
"Ummph," she cried out dramatically, as she unceremoniously was dropped on the couch.
Sitting down beside her, he pointed at the stack of movies sitting to the side of the TV.
"Don't tell me I have to watch all those," he said, sighing, followed by a yawn.
"No, those aren't the rentals," she laughed, "and I'm sure those home movies would put you to sleep."
He smiled gently, almost enough not to notice, but it was just enough to make her smile in return.
"Reliving the glory days?" he asked, looking to the pile and then nodding to the picture of a smiling Rory on the mantel.
She smiled at the picture of her daughter, the toothy smile of her little girl, happily mugging for the camera after her first day of school.
"No, um, my Mom brought these over, they're of me as a kid," she said, smiling at the memory of her and her mother watching the videos over the last couple of weeks.
Ever since the day her Mother had showed up with the videos, she had been watching them. She and her mother had watched each movie together in their entirety, but she had found herself watching bits and pieces of it everyday. It was strange to her; she had no memories of a happy childhood. But here, lying a couple feet from her, was that proof, a visual diary of the first few years of her life, lullabies, smiles, giggles, toothy grins and more.
"Hey," she heard him say gently. She looked at him, slowly coming from her thoughts.
"Can we watch some of those?" he questioned, his sincerity evident in the sound of his voice.
"What?" she said, laughing, trying to brush off his request, shake off the nervous butterflies the idea left in her stomach.
"Yea," he replied softly, "I'd love to see you as a little girl, see what we might have in a couple of months," he finished, the thought warming her heart.
"I don't know," she said, still trying to figure out a way to quiet the butterflies, though stunned by the sincerity of his request. The request made her feel vulnerable, there was no real explanation for it, she trusted Luke with her life, but, this was her, an innocent little child, no fake smile, or humorous shields, it was her raw, soul bared to the world.
"Don't make me pull the birthday boy card," he said, trying to bring levity to the situation. It was clear though, she could see it in his eyes, he was worried about her reaction, and questioning his desire to involve himself in that aspect of her life. She didn't want that though, she didn't want him questioning any aspect of herself and what she was willing to share with him. They were months away from being parents together, this should be simple, and this would be simple.
"I don't know why you want to see it," she said sighing, and after taking a deep breath she continued, "but if this is what the birthday boy wants, this is what the birthday boy gets!"
It had been an hour, an hour of watching him with baited breath, watching every action and reaction, every breath, sigh and smile. He watched her on the video, playing with her mother, laughing and dancing. She watched as he laughed at her antics, her twirling in her ugly party dresses, the tea parties she held for her dolls, and the outlandish stories she told even as a child. She felt herself relax into him at some point through the home movies, not noticing the when or why, just concentrating on how right it felt. It wasn't until almost the end of the video that she felt him wrap his arm around her shoulder, and felt themselves slide more comfortably into the couch.
"June," he said softly.
"June 19th," she repeated just as softly, patting his thigh gently.
"Wow," he breathed out.
"I know," she said smiling and watching the video play before them.
June 19th there would be a little baby, a piece of each of them wrapped up in a little blue or pink blanket. They had barely talked about it. It seemed that a calm realization had swept over them that night in the diner, Sookie's revelation slowly sinking into their minds.
She diverted her attention back to the video. It was her favourite part, her mother singing her lullaby to her, gently rocking her three-year-old body to sleep in an old wooden rocking chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Luke smiling.
"I remember my Mom singing that song to Liz," he said softly, the tinge of sadness in his voice, overpowered by the simplicity of the words of the song.
She snuggled into him and listened to her mother sing to her, to her and Luke. She looked to Luke who was now dozing, sprawled out across her couch with her almost directly on top of him.
She felt her eyes getting heavy but couldn't move from the site before her. She watched the steady in and out breathing of Luke, who was being lulled to sleep by her mother's voice, the lyrics to 'My Girl', wafting through the living room, creating a cocoon of safety.
She no longer could resist his sleepy innocence. Maybe she herself was being lulled by the music, but the man before her warmed her heart. Gently leaning over she placed her lips to the side of his and kissed him, gently grazing the side of his mouth with hers.
She felt his arm encircle her, and she nearly had a heart attack. Her fight or flight instinct was quickly quieted as he pulled her to him, their mouths finding each other as the video ended, the bright blue light on the screen lighting the room around them.
As his lips left hers, she felt him settle back against the pillow, and she laid her head into the space between his neck and shoulders, feeling him sinking gently back into the couch cushions. With his quiet breathing lulling her to sleep, she let her mind shut down, feeling the weight of his arm around her, and the weight of her body baring down on his, she fell asleep with the taste of him on her lips.