Silence dangled in the air between us. There were words that should have been spoken, but the tension was too heavy, impenetrable as death. I fought the sudden and violent impulse to shove the little case back into my inside coat pocket, stopping myself when I realized that such a gesture would only cause her more distress and confusion. My hand hung stiff as the dresser's dummy, adorned with that beautiful and taunting wedding gown, that rested behind curtains in my lair. Though, I imagined even that lifeless form would have handle the situation in progress with greater tact than I.
"Erik-?" Her voice implored me.
I placed my finger once again over her soft mouth to silence what could only be her protestations, and added simply, "Christine, I only have a few moments in which to tell you so very much."
Ever the dreamer, she looked to me, baffled, "Erik, we have the whole evening, and the one after that. Tonight is not the end of the world," She managed to force a melochromatic ting of laughter.
"No, my sweet girl, what I have to ask of you requires only a few moments. I do not ask you as your teacher, nor as your Angel of Music, Christine. I wish to speak to you as any man-"
"You may speak to me of anything. After all you have told me, you do not still believe I will turn away and run, do you? Erik?" She exhaled a little laugh, making me aware that she definitely had not arrived at a full realization of what I was going to ask of her.
Love me, stay with me. Let me love you as any other man would. You are the only one who has the power to restore my lost humanity. . .
"To speak to you as any man would to the young woman who possesses his very soul."
The revelation of what was to follow dawned and spread along every inch of Christine's frame. Instantly, her gaze ventured to the box now held out directly before her kind eyes. Perhaps I had assumed incorrectly that she had noticed it when I had first retrieved it from my pocket.
Without allowing her an opportunity to protest, to ask me to quickly put it away and pretend I had never revealed its existence to her, I stammered out the first few of many clumsy words. "You should know that I have no expectations, that I have never thought your behavior towards me to suggest that you return my sentiments. . ."
Her right hand ceased its caress of my palm and flew to her mouth, fingers fluttering in shock. As she emitted a slight gasp, I was at least relieved to note that her surprise was not laced with the rejection of horror. Nor did she seem repulsed. But these were small concessions.
I forced myself to keep talking, even if it was mindless, anything to stave off the rejection that was sure to come with her voice. "It wouldn't be for quite some time, you know. We wouldn't have to marry until you thought yourself ready. Christine, if you would honor me by agreeing to be my wife, I would dare to do so much! I would push all this darkness behind me. Anything for your happiness. . ."
Fresh tears- as if we had not shed enough for the evening- welled up from the corners of her eyes. "To marry?" She whispered, testing the words upon her lips. The question did not fade away, but echoed against the stone walls that enclosed us. "To be your wife, Erik?" She offered me a weak smile before wiping at her eyes. "I am not sure I can give you an answer at this time, Erik. I am so young. I wouldn't know how to be a proper wife. I don't know how to keep house, or to raise children. . ."
Despite my self-loathing, I could not deny that her reasons were sincere, and not paltry excuses. I opened the lid of the box for her curious gaze and waited in some emotional turmoil of agony and hope.