D/C: JK Rowling wrote and owns all of aspects of Harry Potter. I merely enjoy them.
A/N: I love you guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews, you make me so happy!
Chapter 21: Christmas Cheer, Dumbledore Style
Hermione set breakfast on the table as she always did. Severus came to table, ate silently as usual, and cleared the dishes before retreating to the library once again. Hermione didn't even try to make conversation. She went immediately down to the lab and started working on her potion. Less than two hours in, Severus walked through the door and started developing a potion on the other side of the room. He didn't say anything for a while, but Hermione could feel his eyes on her. Finally, she decided to break the silence.
"How is your work coming along Miss Granger?" he asked, just as she opened her mouth to ask him if anything was wrong.
"I'm actually having a bit of trouble with it. For some reason, it's less effective here than at Hogwarts. I can't seem to figure out what might different in the atmosphere to cause a change."
Severus paused what he was doing to come over to her table and look at her notes. After studying them for some time, he handed the notebook back to her and said, "You need dragon scales again. The ones you are using are now too old to be of any use. They need to be used within days of their collection unless you preserve them. The jar you are using is insufficient."
"Oh, thank you."
"I will take you later today to collect more scales if you wish."
"Oh, thank you, yes."
They returned to their separate works and remained silent for another long while before Hermione could hear the doorbell ring. Severus left to answer it, and moment later he returned and told her she had a guest. She looked at him quizzically, he didn't look angry so it couldn't have been any of her friends, but then they didn't know she was here anyhow. As they reached top of the stairs, Hermione smiled at the appearance of her father.
"Professor Dumbledore, how good to see you."
"Hermione, my dear. How are you enjoying your vacation."
She paused. It was great until last night. She smiled, "It's been lovely."
"Good to hear. And how is your potion coming along?"
"Not as good as I'd like, but professor Snape found out one of my problems and is helping to fix it."
"Oh?" Dumbledore looked up at Severus and smiled before turning back to Hermione, "getting along well are we?"
"Yes. Professor Snape has been a great host."
"Good news. Well, I've an invitation for you two for this afternoon. I want you both to come to the burrow. First thing there will be an order meeting and I would like Severus to be present. After all," he said, looking at Severus with pride, "it was through your efforts that Grindelwald was not captured."
Unsmiling, Severus answered, "I can assure you, Grindelwald is solely responsible for last night's outcome."
"Yes, well, I meant that you informed us of his presence. How are you faring?"
"I am unharmed. Only a few of the deatheaters were punished. Lucius was the only one to die."
"Oh, yes, I heard about his disappearance. I thought as much had happened. I am sorry for the loss of your friend."
Surprised at the news and at Dumbledore's condolences, Hermione turned to look at Severus, who simply looked at Dumbledore with an unreadable expression. She had been upset about his reaction to her last night, but hearing how his night had gone, she forgot all about it. She wanted to hug him, to offer him comfort of some sort, but knew that even if Dumbledore weren't there, it would be rejected.
"What time would you like Miss Granger to arrive, Headmaster?"
"Hm? Oh, yes. Perhaps around three. And the same for you. During the meeting Mrs. Weasley is preparing a lovely early Christmas dinner for everyone in the order." Putting a hand up to stifle Severus' objection, Dumbledore grinned and said, "You simply must come. Molly insisted on it, and would be horribly upset if you rejected her invitations once again. Besides, it has been a long, hard week for you, and you could use a bit of relaxation. Really, Severus, you don't have a choice in the matter. Well, I must be off, much to do. Convince him for me Hermione, will you?" he asked, eyes twinkling.
"Me?" Hermione asked, perplexed. She couldn't even convince the man to kiss her.
"Oh, and Severus? When you have time, I believe I'm getting low on that potion you make for me."
Severus looked surprised at Dumbledore and glanced towards Hermione before turning back to the Headmaster.
"Oh, it's quite alright. She put two and two together a long time ago. Thank you, Severus. Enjoy the rest of your morning, and I will see you at three." Dumbledore showed himself to the door, and with a quick wave, disappeared.
"Bloody Hell." Hermione heard Severus mumble as he turned for the stairs.
Hermione went downstairs to preserve her potion and clean up her table. There was no point working on it if she had worthless scales.
"I will not be able to take you to collect scales today, Her- Miss Granger, I will take you tomorrow."
"Thank you."
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Severus silently glowered at Dumbledore from the corner of the room. The meeting was long over and he was stuck in the crowded living room of the burrow. Molly had indeed cooked a delicious meal, but he gladly would have eaten out of a can to avoid this cheerful crowd of dunderheads. The old man had it in for him. Severus inched further back into the shadows, hoping no one would bother him. But it wasn't long before Molly Weasley sent Arthur over with a glass of firewhiskey for him.
"Here you go, Mr. Snape," Arthur said with a little too much emphasis on the p, "the Mrs. thinks this will help loosen you up a bit."
"She must have gotten the idea from you, Mr. Weasley." But Severus accepted the glass anyway and took a sip. He didn't drink often, or much when he did, because he hated the idea of not being fully alert at all times. But it seemed losing a little focus here would be just what he needed. Seeing Remus Lupin make his way over only encouraged him to take another sip.
"Severus, dear man. How are you? Bloody good party isn't it?"
"Oh, it's titillating."
"Hm? Oh, never mind. Tonks! Tonks, my dear, come over and say hello to Severus."
Severus groaned and took another sip. While Nymphadora Tonks, now Lupin, was more tolerable than her spouse, he really couldn't stand her.
"Why hello, Severus," she said, beaming. "I'm glad to see you. How are you?"
Before Severus could reply, Remus jumped in, "Darling tell him the good news."
Tonks smiled and took the butterbeer from her husband's hand before turning to Severus, "He's such a lightweight. Two butterbeers and he's done. Well," she said, looking at the bottle, "one and a half."
Severus smirked and Tonks ignored her husband's hurt expression, "the good news he wanted me to tell you is that we're going to have a baby. Admittedly he was a bit nervous about the whole idea, but now that he's used to it, he's very excited. Aren't you dear?" she turned to look at her husband, but he had already wandered off.
"Well, I'd better follow him. Good to see you, Severus."
Great. A wolf baby. Severus made a mental note to start doing the research on giving wolfsbane to babies, they would most certainly be calling on him if Lupin's son took after him.
"Okay, a family photo! Professor Dumbledore, would you please do the honors?" Molly called out over the music.
Dumbledore smiled and collected the camera from Molly, while she collected all of her children and Harry to be a part of the picture. They got all settled and Dumbledore nearly snapped the picture when Molly jumped out of her seat.
"Wait! We almost forgot Hermione! Hermione dearest, come out of that corner and come sit by me."
"Oh Molly, it's quite alright, I-"
"You are one of the family, come here and sit down."
Hermione smiled weakly and made her way over to the seat Molly had mentioned. She sat down and Molly put her arm around her and barked out orders to all her children and husband to smile and keep their eyes open. "And no pranks, Fred or George, or you'll pay for them!"
The boys laughed and immediately put down the rabbit ears they'd been holding over Ginny and Ron.
Dumbledore snapped the picture, Molly took the camera, and everyone back to the party. Except, Severus noted, Hermione, who slipped out the front door without notice from any of her friends.
Severus let fifteen minutes go by before following her outside. Aside from the fact that she was infinitely better company than the majority of the attending party, he was worried about her. She had seemed upset to have been in the picture, though he didn't understand why. She and the Weasleys had always been close, right? He didn't see her when he first exited the front door. It took a moment of looking around at the surrounding field to find her leaning against a tall tree at the end of yard, letting the snow cover her.
Of course, he thought, It's always got to be a tree with her. Tentatively, he approached. She was huddled under the bare tree, holding herself tightly for warmth. Taking off his cape, which he had refused to do inside, he wrapped around her. She didn't look up at him, but lay her head against her arms. He was certain he heard a muffled thank you.
"Why are you out here?"
"Because I wanted to be alone."
"As you wish." He turned on his heel and started back towards the house.
"Don't go."
"You said-"
"Just come sit with me?"
He sighed, but did as he was asked. They sat in silence for a short time, until the silence was finally broken by her muffled sob. Not sure what else to do, Severus said the first thing that came to mind.
"Crying is useless. It solves nothing."
"I can't help it," she said, sobbing harder, "It's just a big mess."
He told himself not to, but something in him made him do it, "What is?" he asked.
"Everything, my life. My whole life I thought I was someone else, and now I just feel like I have nothing. I miss my parents, all of them at the moment. I don't know who I belong to, and that stupid family portrait… I miss my friends, I hardly see them now, and I know it's my own fault-"
"Considering they're all in there wanting to spend time with you, I'd have to agree."
"I just can't talk to them. It's so strange, like I don't even recognize who I was. I don't know who I am…" she put her head back in her hands and starting sobbing again.
"You are a dedicated know-it-all bookworm, who is very fiercely loyal to her friends even when distant. You are strong even when things around you are falling apart- except right now, of course- and you belong only to you. You will always have questions, and things will always change, but as long as you stay true to yourself and the things you want, you will never have to question who you are. It has nothing to do with the people around you," he said matter-of-factly and without the slightest trace of emotion.
"Thank you," she said, holding her head up and wiping her eyes. She sniffled a few times more, but was soon back to herself. She looked up and smiled at him and he reached over and brushed her cheek.
"Are you ready to rejoin your friends?"
"Yeah," she said smiling.
She started to walk ahead of him, but something made him grab her hand and pull her back. He took only a second to process what he was about to do and how it would likely change things, but knew that he couldn't force it away anymore. He pulled her tightly into his arms and kissed her with all the passion he felt for her.