It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

by Rosabella98

Two thousand years on, Merlin breaks. His much prophesized destiny never realized and he's lost hope. But there is a secret that even the immortal warlock does not know, one that might provide answers to why his destiny is so broken. As he heads in search of answers, he faces the biggest question of his long life: Can you do it all over again?

21. A Crown

Chapter Twenty- A Crown

The symbol of thy royalty. A crown to wear in grace and beauty; as is thy right, and royal duty.

The bells rang midnight, but the huddled figure paid them no notice. Alienore had long since become deaf to anything but the quiet, almost silent now breathing of her father, blind to anything but the slow rise and fall of his frail chest. Graham and Elaine had fallen asleep sometime during the evening, exhausted by the seventy hour vigil. But not Alienore. She had not been able to save her father, despite riding at break neck speed with the best physicians in the kingdom, but she would be with him until the very end. Even if he wouldn't know, due to the bleeding inside his brain caused by his fall down the stairs, she would be there, awake and alert when he breathed his last. It was sheer willpower that kept her awake now, opening her drooping eyelids every time.

"Father. Don't go, please, not yet. I'm not ready to step into your shoes, to lead a kingdom, to go on without you. Please. Stay with me." She whispered heartbreakingly for the millionth time. No matter how many times she repeated the words, she knew that they were futile, a mere wish rather than her request. Her father was fading fast, wouldn't even last the hour at this rate, and everything she had been dreading since her arrival to the past three years before was coming true. The moment her father breathed the last she would be passed on the mantle of kingship, a burden she would have to bear for the rest of her life here. And it would be a lonely task, sitting on the throne, above even Elaine and Graham. Gone would be afternoons wasted just talking and laughing, merry evenings around the fire, spontaneous visits to Mithian, even her swordplay would become a rare treat rather than a daily occurrence. Such was the life of a monarch, answering the call of duty. Duty was something her father had instilled in her ever since she was old enough to understand, and her duty to the crown came first and foremost, something that she would always honor in his memory.

"Venetia, my darling…" Her father mumbled. He had been muttering all afternoon and into the evening, but now had fallen quiet. Earlier, his fevered mutterings had been unintelligible, simple noises, but his latest cry snapped Alienore wide awake. He was calling out for her mother, long since dead. She remembered very little of her, since she had died when Alienore had been three and Graham two, giving birth to Elaine. Her father barely spoke of her, and had had most of her images removed from the castle. The only image of her remained in their bedchamber, in front of the bed. Most times, it was hidden by a curtain, but over the years, Alienore had caught her dad staring at it sadly, his love and grief written all over his face. The portrait showed a woman, no older than her mid-thirties, which looked like an older version of Elaine, happiness in her face as she sat by Alienore's father. Her face was small, angular with high cheekbones, sharing the same pale gold hair as her youngest daughter, and the same odd mix of features that reminded Alienore of the elves from The Lord of the Rings. The only resemblance between Alienore and her mother was the eyes, those sky blue eyes that were so similar to her mother's and yet different. She had always wanted to know more about the mysterious woman that had given birth to her, her curiosity fueled by the small tidbits of gossip and tales she heard from servants and people who had known her. The one person who could have answered all her questions was the one person that she could never ask, since her father refused to talk about her. He had loved his wife so much that people said he had aged twenty years in the day of her death. A part of him had died with her, and he had buried his grief so deeply, locked his loss so tightly, that he had withdrawn completely into himself, resembling his former self only with his children. That was how much he had loved Venetia, and that was the kind of Alienore wanted for herself, even though she knew it was so very rare for people of her station.

"You have come to take me with, then? It has been so long, so long… You should see the children… They all remind me of you so very much… Elaine, she has the looks of you, even though you only got to have the briefest glimpse of her… Graham, he has your sweet temperament and I have to catch myself sometimes because it is like your voice is speaking through his lips… But Alienore is the one who reminds me of you the most… She has that quiet strength and confidence that always made you so formidable…And of course, your eyes… Venetia, I wish you got to see our children… You would have been as proud of them as I am…"

Graham and Elaine had awoken at the sound of their father's voice, and now they all waited for him to speak more, to continue. But, his breathing became more labored, and his chest rose once more, twice, and then was still.

"No, no, no! Father, please!" Alienore said, shaking her dad's shoulder as the first tears started streaming down her face. "No, please…" She whispered as she buried her head. She could hear Elaine's sobs and Graham's quiet tears, and she raised her head. Her siblings were grieving, looking more lost than she had ever seen them. They were now her responsibility.

She stood up, bringing her father's hand to her face and kissing it. Then, for the first time since her arrival, she let it go. She bent down and kissed her father's cheek one more time, and whispered 'I love you' hoping that his ghost was still close enough to hear it. Then, she gathered both of her siblings in her arms, and only then broke down, her shoulders shaking in her own silent grief as she held Elaine with one arm and Graham with the other, her head buried in their shoulders. The three siblings quietly shared their grief, before collecting themselves and calling in the guards. In public, they could only show strength, an impassive face, but here, in the dark bedchamber, they could grieve for the father they'd lost before grieving for the king with the rest of the people.

One Month Later…

September 10th. In Seattle, where she'd lived before all of this craziness had started, it meant the start of nine months of rain. The sky would be overcast, making the whole day seem gray. Many people did not like it, saying it did not hold a candle to the beauty of summer, but Alienore loved those days. All she wanted to do was sit by her window wrapped up in her old blanket and read as she sipped some homemade hot chocolate. That was her treat if September 10th fell on a weekend. If instead, she had school that day, she would usually invite friends over afterschool and they would have a sleepover, watching movies and laughing over silly things well into the night. However, her life in Lyonesse was much different. Here, the only true hint of fall on September10th were the trees, which had already turned gorgeous shades of yellows, reds, and oranges. The sky remained the same light blue as Alienore's eyes and the sun still shone high far into the evening. This was one of the few days a year- the Summer and Winter Solstice being the others- were she was truly free from royal obligation. She usually spent the day with her siblings, enjoying their company, before attending a banquet and making a public appearance. It was like a breath of fresh air in her otherwise busy schedule. She always looked forward to the day, anxious for the day of freedom and excited, like any other person, for her birthday.

Of course, it was also one of the most bittersweet days of the year for Alienore. It was a day that reminded her of what her life could have been had she chosen a different path, an easier path perhaps. She never regretted her choice, not even during her worse moments, but she did wonder what it would have been like had she given Merlin a different answer. This year was the birthday she felt more keenly than any other since her first in the past, when she turned sixteen, because she was turning eighteen. In both worlds, she would be considered an adult tomorrow. Yet, what a difference a millennium and half made. Had she stayed, tomorrow would have been a celebration of her maturity, her stepping stone in life on her own. She would have been looking forward to college, to living alone for the first time in her life, to starting fresh, to branch out and try new things. Instead, her eighteen birthday, just a day away, was going to be also the day she was crowned queen. She came to her majority tomorrow, and with her father's passing barely a month ago, she would take official leadership of Lyonesse. In many ways, it was similar to what she would have experienced had she remained, because this would still be her first foray in the world of adults. Only, she wouldn't have the luxury of making mistakes and learning from them. Her mistakes could mean ruin for her country, war, famine. It was a lot of pressure for an eighteen year old, and yet it was a pressure that had been on her shoulders every day for the past three years.

From her window, she saw one of her scouts hurrying into the palace to report that the first of the guests for tomorrow's coronation had arrived. Alienore moved away from the window to check that her appearance was in order. Her hair was loose down her back, curling slightly, with a braided headband pulling some of the longer strands away from her face. Her eyes were clear and blue, schooling themselves for a day spent exchanging flowery words and praises with other monarchs. Her gown was one of the several new ones that had been made for the occasion. It wasn't as rich as the one she would wear tomorrow, but it still reflected her status. The over gown was a dark teal, cutting away at the skirt to show an under gown of a pale blue, embroidered with silver thread at the hem. The sleeves cut away at the elbow to show bell sleeves of the same color. The gown was belted at the waist with an intricate silver belt, which held the crest of Lyonesse at the center link. It was spotless, thanks to Brownen's tireless efforts that morning. She was ready to go downstairs and meet her guests.

All of the kingdoms of Albion had been invited, lest any king suffer a snub at the lack of invitation at such an important occasion such as the coronation of a monarch. Cenred and Odin, the most bloodthirsty monarchs, had refused the invitation, but everyone else was arriving today. The palace had been a flurry of work during the last month, with the cooks preparing enough food for all the visiting monarchs, carpenters building small pavilions to house the extra guests, and the people excited for the celebration. She had overseen every small detail, from the flowers decorating the Great Hall to the menu served at the coronation banquet. Alienore wanted this to go off without a hitch, because it would be her first act as monarch. So, as she made her way to the front steps of the castle with the court, she was slightly nervous. She had no idea who would be riding through the gates, whether it be a friendly monarch like Mithian and her father or someone like Caerleon and his queen, who would have to be treated carefully during their visit. Just because their countries were currently at peace did not mean that all was well; in fact, a sense of unease remained with the warrior kings that had won their kingdoms through war rather than inheritance. The court was wearing its finest, its knights resplendent in silver cloaks, their ladies on their arms arrayed in various shades of blue and silver, the colors of Lyonesse. Elaine was there, on the second step from the bottom, wearing a teal gown with hanging sleeves. She smiled and gave a small wave as Alienore passed by her, which Alienore returned behind her back. She assumed her spot, alone on the bottommost step, arranging her face in her polite mask of welcome. Even though one side of her still doubted her capability to be Queen- and would probably always do so- another part of her was confident, more confident than she thought could be possible. Part of it had to do with her father's words as she sat by his deathbed, tru,e, but the majority came out of the people around her. Elaine, Graham, Brownen, the servants, Sirs Aidan, Bennett, Hamilton, the knights, all people who had known her since she was a small child, believed that she could do it. Their belief in her, despite her obvious faults and detractors, is what gave her the boost of confidence that she needed to stand there and smile politely as the first riders arrived in the courtyard.

A dark purple flag with a roaring bear on a teal and yellow stem flew high from the lead rider. He was followed by a grizzled man with honey blond hair and a rugged face and a slighter girl with platinum blond hair and a small frown on her face. Alienore was slightly relieved to not have to deal with one of the more difficult delegations right off the bat, but rather a familiar face.

"King Olaf, Lady Vivian, welcome to Lyonesse!" She said, stretching out her arms in welcome as her guests dismounted.

The man smiled jovially, despite his rough look. King Olaf could have probably joined Uther and Caerleon as a warrior king, because he too had won his throne by war, except for the fact that his war had been against his usurping brother. Combined with the fact that his daughter Vivian would one day find herself in the same position as Alienore found herself now, so the relationship between Mercia and Lyonesse had always been friendly. Alienore and Vivian were another story, though. "Lady Alienore, it is good to see you again!" King Olaf said, taking her outstretched hands and placing a kiss on her ring bearing the seal of her house.

"Ugh, I just hope you've given me a room with a bigger closet this time" His daughter said, somewhat less graciously as she came to stand beside her father. She was pretty in a spoiled princess kind of a way, the kind of person that Alienore would have never been friends with in another life. Yet, she would one day be the queen of Mercia, an equal to Alienore, and so she turned her most gracious smile on her.

"Yes, of course, Lady Vivian. We have built a special pavilion for your delegation. Let my maid show you." Alienore said, beckoning Brownen over with an apologetic smile. Lady Vivian was notorious for mistreating her maids, so much so that she had trouble finding new ones now days. "It is really good to see you again!" Alienore said as Vivian brushed past her.

"My daughter is tired from the long road." King Olaf said, shooting her retreating back a fond look. Vivian had been spoiled since she was a young girl due to her lack of siblings and being motherless, like Alienore.

"I understand. You will be tired as well. One of my knights will show you your rooms and take care of your knights. I hope to see you and Lady Vivian at the banquet tonight." Alienore said, noting the signals from the walls that said somebody else was approaching. She saw a way to move the Mercian party along, and so she took it.

"Yes, of course. I shall see you tonight." King Olaf said, sending his men towards stables with a nod of his head. He started up to the stairs, following a manservant, before pausing at the front doors. Turning back to face Alienore through the path cleared by the court, he said: "Lady Alienore, I am sorry about your father. He was a good man and a good king." He said with a grave face, a departure from his cheery expression just a moment ago.

"Thank you." Alienore said with a small nod. A cloud passed over her face as she remembered the sad event that was the catalyst for today's and tomorrow's events. She was, however, able to quickly shake off her grief. Elaine placed a small hand on her shoulder, reminding her that she wasn't alone. Alienore turned a grateful smile to her sister for her quiet support. That smile soon disappeared as she saw the sky blue and black lion of Caerleon. Its king, with its tough face and warrior stance took quick stances to where Alienore was standing.

"Lady Alienore." He said, not giving her the chance to welcome him."

"My lord, welcome to you and your Queen to Lyonesse." She said. While any major hostilities between their two kingdoms had occurred between Caerleon's father's reign and Alienore's grandfather's reign, there was still plenty of tensions in the current day.

A woman in her early forties dismounted and came to stand beside her husband. She was striking, despite the cares of her life written in her face. Her red hair was beautiful, and her olive eyes held a steeliness in them that told Alienore she was not a woman to be messed with. She did not flaunt her status like Vivian did before her, wearing only a simple silver circlet on her forehead and furs to ward off the chills of her home country. Alienore liked her immediately, despite having just met her. She extended her hand, saying: "Lady Alienore, it is an honor to meet you."

"And I, Queen Annis. I hope you and your husband will enjoy your stay. Let one of my servants show you your rooms, I know you must be tired after your long journey. I hope we'll have a chance to talk more at the banquet tonight." She said, turning the corners of her mouth up in a parting smile. The Caerleon knights soon cleared out of the courtyard, leaving Alienore and the court of Lyonesse alone. There was a clear outtake of breath as the court relaxed, and soon low thrum of whispered conversations arose in the courtyard. Alienore, with a quick glance to check that no riders could be seen on the horizon, climbed on step up to talk to Elaine.

"Ali, you look so pretty!" Elaine said, fingering the fine fabric of Alienore's gown. It had been a gift from some of the kingdoms beyond the sea, who had sent it with some of their merchants. More of it was used to make the coronation gown that she would wear tomorrow, but some of the smaller pieces had been used for today's gown. It was truly fit for a Queen.

"And you're looking very grown up and very much like Mother!" Alienore said, thinking that in Elaine's green dress, she looked exactly like their mother's portrait in their father's bedroom. Despite it being the monarch's bedroom, she really could not bring herself to move away from her room, into what she would always think as her father's bedroom. She had had the servants seal up the room the day after his death, and her only change since that day was to move the portrait of her parents smiling to her own room. But today, standing there in the sunlight of the courtyard, she really did look like their mother in their portrait, far older than her fifteen years. She had grown in the three years that Alienore had known her, and only now did that catch up to her, taking her by surprise.

"Really? You really think so?" Elaine said, pleased shock all over her face.

"Yea" Alienore said, brushing a loose curl away from her face. She had to hide a stray tear, but this time, maybe for the first time that month, it was one of happiness. Instead, she glanced at the empty spot where Graham would have normally stood. He was out on a patrol today that was running late. Alienore dearly hoped that he would be there at least for tomorrow's festivities, but also hoped that the patrol had not run into trouble. Graham had been a rock this past month, helping Alienore with the transition from regent to Queen, and at the same time, grieving with her.

"Well, I know that it is you that she would have been proud of" Elaine said, flicking a piece of a leaf off of Alienore's sleeve.

"Don't say that! She would be plenty proud of you too!" Alienore said.

"Why would they be? I have done so little, and you've done so much!"

"Don't say that, Laine! You're little, you've still got so much time to do great things!" Alienore said.

Elaine just gave her a wistful look, as if she didn't really believe her words. "That may be, but today and tomorrow is your day to shine, Alienore."

"Thanks, Laine. You know I could not do this without you or Graham, right?" Alienore asked, noticing a silence falling over the court.

"Of course." Elaine said, as Alienore turned around to face the new incoming delegation.

The figure riding far ahead of the main party was recognizable not just by the yellow and brown standards behind her, but by the disarrayed hair and fine seat. Elena, Princess of Gawant, reached the courtyard just moments later.

"Elena." Alienore said, real affection in her voice as she hurried forward to hug the girl. If Alienore was considered a little bit of a rebel, Elena was a total wild child. She also was the best horsewoman in all of Albion, a passion she did not get to indulge in as much as she wished. Her wild child appearance was most evident in her hair, which appeared to never stay in its arrangement for longer than five minutes before tumbling down in loose waves. It gave her a kind of a childlike quality that was endearing, and, being of an age with both Alienore and Mithian, they had been as close as people living so far away could be.

"Alienore. Wow, you look so-so-so grown-up!" Elena said, hugging the other girl tightly before stepping back and admiring her.

"And you! Is it possible you've gotten even faster on that horse of yours?" Alienore marveled, patting her on the arm as the rest of her party finally rode into the courtyard.

"I do not know how she does it, in truth. It seems as if her horses grow wings, my lady Alienore." Lord Godwin said as he dismounted, putting an affectionate hand on his daughter's shoulder as he walked by her. Lord Godwin was an older man, having married later in life, with kind sparkling eyes and a shock of white hair. Elena had to hide a small smile at her father's compliment. Since Elena was Godwin's only child, he encouraged some her wild child behaviors, such as horseback riding, even if it wasn't proper for a princess.

"I think it is a testament to her skill" Alienore said, smiling warmly at Lord Godwin. He stepped up at kissed both her cheeks in a very fatherly way that caused her to smile sadly, remembering her father's death.

"Indeed. Alienore, I must say, I'm very sorry about your father. He was a good friend and a true gentleman." Godwin said, staring her straight in the eyes.

"Thank you, Lord Godwin." She said smiling up at him. Without words, they both shared the grief for the person that King Edric had been behind the king, the friend and father. Then, Alienore gave him a tentative smile. She did not want today and tomorrow, a supposedly festive day, ruined by her grief. She had grieved privately, but now it was time to move on, for her family's, country's and her own sake, no matter how many remainders of him she had today. "May I show you and your party your chambers?"

"Yes, yes, of course." Godwin said, nodding genially. He waved his knights toward the direction of the stables, knowing their location from earlier visits.

"Elena, I'm sure we'll get a chance to talk and catch up later" Alienore said, watching her friend climbing up the stairs. Elena stumbled in typical fashion, held on her feet only by the quick hands of her nurse. She smiled and nodded, giving a small wave in return. Alienore returned the wave, as she returned to her place on the steps. It was starting to get warmer as the sun got higher in the sky. Midday was quickly approaching, and its heat was felt by the knights with their heavy chainmail and the ladies in their fine velvets and silks. She fanned herself with her hand, hoping that the last two delegations would be here soon. Only Nemeth's- the closest kingdom with only a two day journey- and Camelot's- the kingdom furthest away with a three week journey- delegations.

Surprisingly, she did not have long to wait at all. After a few more minutes, a cloud of dust was visible beyond the wall, and soon both the red and yellow dragon of Camelot and the green and white colors of Nemeth. They rode in together, in two separate columns. The temperature in the courtyard immediately cooled by several degrees. The two countries had been arguing over the land of Gedref, between their two northern borders, for decades. Aware of that, Alienore went first to greet the Camelot party, knowing that Mithian and her father would understand. It was the benefit of their long standing friendship.

"King Uther Pendragon, welcome to Lyonesse!" She said to the hard faced, greying man in front of her. He was wearing a leather outfit that was just one step shy of chainmail and a hard golden crown. His harsh face didn't break even as he gave her a small smile in acknowledgement of her greeting.

"I thank you, Lady Alienore. It has been many years since I last stood in this same courtyard, myself just a young king, yet I find that not much has changed at all. Your country remains as resplendent as I remembered."

"A genuine compliment about my country is worth a thousand untrue ones about my sorry self, so I thank you very much, King Uther." Alienore said, cracking a genuine smile,

"Lady Alienore, you do yourself an injustice I must say. You are every bit as lovely as your beloved Lyonesse, I must admit." King Uther replied, in complete earnestness. It would have sounded weird to get such a flowery compliment from a man that was as old as her father, but after three years of being in the past, ruling, it was as commonplace as a normal conversation. They thought that complimenting her would help them gain her favor, and thus everyone tried their hand at it. But, as she told Uther, she loathed false compliments.

"I thank you kindly, then. And I am sure that your Camelot is equally as lovely, from all of the tales I've heard of it."

"Well, I do think so, but it may be that I'm just prejudiced. You must come and visit yourself sometime soon and be the judge of it. Then you can also meet my son and heir, Arthur." Uther said.

"Yes, indeed. I think that would be lovely. But I've been remiss in my duties as a host. Let me introduce to you my sister, Lady Elaine of Lyonesse, Countess of Astolat." Alienore said, waving her sister forward. All the other rulers had been to Lyonesse before, but not the Camelot party.

Elaine stepped forward, smiling shyly. "It is nice to meet you, King Uther. I have heard many tales about your victories."

"Enchanting, Lady Elaine. I must say, you are the very picture of your lovely mother." Uther said, nodding in Elaine's direction. As he spoke, a young woman stepped up to stand beside him, having finished her conversation with a plain dressed, pretty young woman. The girl she was talking with was wearing a sunny yellow dress and a bright smile. Her honey colored skin and chocolate brown eyes were sweet and kind, and as she smiled her goodbye to the other young woman. While the young woman who now stood next to Uther was clearly nobility, the girl in the yellow dress was clearly a servant. Yet, the friendship between them was as real and tangible as if they had been the same rank.

"May I, in return, present the Lady Morgana of the House of Gorlois, my ward." Uther said, waving Morgana forward. She had porcelain white skin, raven black hair, and piercing green eyes. She was beautiful, but coldly beautiful, not the sunshine beauty of her friend or the ethereal beauty of Elaine, but just cold and beautiful. Her flinty green eyes were sharp, but were immediately softened by the bright, genuine smile that filled her face with kindness.

"It's lovely to meet you both." She said, making a small curtsy.

"Likewise, Lady Morgana. I'm sure we'll be great friends." Alienore said, smiling back. She took an immediate liking to Morgana, despite a part of her warning of the girl's destiny. This had to be the same Morgana that Merlin had told her of, the one that would go down in ignominy as Morgan La Fay. Yet, looking at her, she couldn't imagine it. The girl was just too nice to actually be the evil witch that would bring down Camelot.

"But, how remiss of me! I forget that you have endured a long journey to get here and keep you waiting in my courtyard! Please, come on in and refresh yourself. We'll have plenty of time to talk tonight at the banquet." Alienore said, waving Brownen over to lead the Camelot party over to their rooms.

"Till tonight then, Lady Alienore." King Uther said, echoed by Lady Morgana.

Waiting until they entered the double doors, Alienore took a deep breath. Just one more welcome, and then she was free till tonight.

"Ahh" Alienore said, suddenly finding a body launching itself at her and holding her very tightly.

"Alienore!" Mithian said, squeezing the breath out of the other girl.

"Can't…breathe…face turning…blue…Mithian, please!"

"Oh sorry!" Mithian said, only releasing her friend the slightest bit. "It is just so good to see you!"

"You too!" Alienore squealed back, throwing her own arms around Mithian. The two girls held on tightly for a few seconds before stepping back to admire one another.

A throat cleared behind them and Alienore saw King Rodor, Mithian's father, standing behind his daughter with a kindly smile. Mithian released Alienore with a clear look that said they would talk later and went up a further step to hug Elaine.

"Alienore, my dear." King Rodor said, enfolding the door in a fatherly hug. King Rodor was a tall man, with shocking white eyes and a kindly twinkle in his green eyes. He had been named Alienore's godfather at her birth, and had thusly always been like a second father during Alienore's many visits to Nemeth.

"King Rodor, I was starting to think that you and Mithian would not show!" Alienore said jokingly.

"My dear, I would not miss this day for the world!" Rodor said, laughing along.

"It means a lot to me that you are, you know that."

"Of course, my dear. And you know how proud I am of the strong woman- and Queen- that you've become, as I know your father would have been where he here to see this day." Rodor said, putting a comforting hand on Alienore's shoulder.

"So, Alienore, where's Graham?" Mithian said casually, turning around with an arm over Elaine's shoulder.

"He's out on patrol and should be coming back anytime now." Alienore replied, subtly raising her eyebrows and smirking at her friend.

"Of course he'll be back soon, Graham would never miss the festivities for your coronation, Alienore." Rodor said as they all started to ascend the stairs. He completely missed the blush that stained his daughter's cheeks or the little giggle that escaped Alienore.

They finally parted at the entrance hall, Elaine and Alienore going back upstairs to their own rooms while Mithian and Rodor headed off to their usual guest rooms. Despite the tight conditions with so many guests at the palace, those rooms had been reserved for the Nemeth royals, a sign of the deep friendship between the two countries.

Alienore went upstairs in order to get some time for herself. Time had been a precious commodity during the last month, one of the many things that she did not know she would miss until it was gone from her. While she had always enjoyed the company of others, in both of the time periods she had lived in, she had also always valued the time she had to herself, to think and to plan. In the last month, it had seemed that she could not go anywhere without being accompanied by some well-meaning servant or knight. Even when she managed to carve out an hour or two to head down to the lists and unwind, she could not go away from official business, getting interrupted by messengers or asked by the knights about her thoughts on some routine or military happening.

She was now in front of her windows, once again staring off into the stormy waves of the sea. This time, it wasn't as if the sea was reflecting her thoughts, but more like the sea was inspired by her stormy thoughts. While the weather had been clear just hours ago when she had last left this bedchamber, it now looked as if the sky was about to let all hell open loose. Yet, it had a quiet sense of beauty, the monotone of the grey clouds above the stormy grey waters of the sea, almost turning the bright white cliffs a similar tone of grey. Its beauty had a kind of melancholy, a freedom, which Alienore desperately needed. She could not do this, could not lead a whole country. She was not even eighteen yet, and just a teenager. She was supposed to make mistakes, to learn from them, to have a guiding hand in her life.

She suddenly felt warm all over, and started sweating in her fine gown. She fanned herself with one hand as pure, abject panic started to set in. Who was she kidding, trying to be Queen of a country, when she hadn't even finished high school? With her at the helm, Lyonesse would be overrun within weeks, if not days. She couldn't even control her own feelings, much less a country! The rational part of Alienore's brain fought against this sense of panic, of desperation, but it was a losing battle. The enormity of the task before her was finally catching up to her after a month of numb grief, and it did not feel good. The walls of her normally cheery room seemed to be coming closer, boxing her in. She was breathing hard now, hyperventilating, the detached part of her mind who could still function normally said. She was an impostor, a little girl playing pretend in a Queen's clothes. Just because she could muddle her way through using a sword and a council meeting here and there did not mean that she was ready to lead an entire country, to be the backbone needed to keep it running. Anyone would be better qualified than the girl who, till just three short years ago, had read about this period in history books, not lived in it. Elaine or Graham, Sir Aidan or any of the council members, would be better to lead Lyonesse. At the heart of the problem was the feeling that Alienore really did not deserve the faith that everyone was putting on her. Even Merlin, who had just known the little that Nimueh had passed down about her, had been confident in her abilities, despite having met her a day before. She just was not ready, not right, not good enough.

So Alienore did the only sensible thing at the moment. She ran. Ashamed as she was, with tears running down her face and her breath hitching from the panic attack she had had upstairs, she ran all the way down to the stables, holding on to her heavy skirts and miraculously not falling down the stairs. She was a silent kind of crier, so the only clue that anyone had of her mental state was her hurried step and tear tracks on her face only partially hidden by her hair.

"Hey, Ali!" Graham called over in the first floor hallway, dusty from his return from patrol. He had only seen a blur of blue as his sister shot past him, and Alienore did not bother to stop. She just needed to go, to get away, to have a clean break. Once she finally reached the stables, thankfully with no questions seeing as the servants were all too busy to notice, she jumped on her mare, Autumn and rode straight for the back entrance to the castle, the path that walked on the cliffs.

As soon as she was out of the walls of the castle, she let the mare loose, letting her gallop. It took all her focus to hold on to the horse, and thus did not have any time to think. She was free.

It could have been two hours later or twenty minutes later, but at the moment Alienore did not really care. The castle was only a distant speck in the distance, far enough away that she could not see it unless she squinted. She had left everything behind, her worries and her fears, propriety and fanfare. She was just lying in the grass, her horse grazing peacefully behind her, the crash of the waves the perfect soundtrack. Here, no one knew her as my lady or your highness. She was just a being. She started ripping up daisies, quickly crafting a daisy crown as she had when she was a little girl. Deciding that it reminded her too much of her current problems, she threw it to the side, making instead a whole assortment of other jewelry with the daisies and poppies that lined the field she found herself in. That bracelet there for Elaine, a necklace for Mithian, an anklet for wild Elena, and yes, even a ring for Morgana and Vivian.

"Hi!" A voice said behind her, startling her. It was definitely a girl's voice, sounding friendly and sweet. Alienore turned to see a girl in a bright yellow dress, with tightly curling beautiful black hair and honey skin. She was smiling widely, noticeable even from the small distance that separated them. She had soft chocolate eyes and a basket hanging on her arm. Overall, the girl looked completely harmless, so Alienore relaxed immediately. The girl looked familiar, oddly, as if she had caught only a glimpse of her before.

"Hello!" Alienore said, making no move to stand up. The tall grass clearly shielded her fine clothing, and the girl appeared to have no idea of who she was. Maybe this is exactly what she needed, some time with someone who had no idea of who she was or what tomorrow was. Someone that she just could be Eleanor, the girl that still lurked underneath, simple and easy.

"I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen." The girl said, putting her basket down and walked closer to where Alienore was sitting, still far enough away that only Alienore's head was visible. "What's your name?"

Alienore hesitated, realizing that she had seen the girl in the palace courtyard, with the Camelot party. She had been talking to the Lady Morgana, and had fortunately not really seen Alienore. But now, were she to catch a glimpse of the fine gown she was wearing and hear her name, Gwen would surely put the two and two together. Grabbing the blanket she was sitting on, she wrapped it around her shoulders and said, "I-I'm no one, no one important out here."

Gwen's step faltered at her odd words. Then, peering closer, she appeared to realize that Alienore came out here to be alone, to escape her world. Her face immediately lost her bright smile, and she said apologetically, "You're here to be alone, and I bumbled in, didn't I? I'm so sorry, I'm just going…yeah, I'm going to go." Gesturing back to her basket and quickly fleeing.

"No, no, you're fine. You can stay. I mean, if you want, I'm sure you're busy and everything, and I shouldn't have asked…"

"I'd love to stay. Do you mind if I sit?" Gwen said, the smile returning to her face. She had stopped halfway, and was now inching closer once again. Alienore simply cleared away some of her earlier artwork with the flowers and gestured towards the now clear ground with a small, hesitant smile.

"So, what can I call you, no one?" Gwen asked, fingering a couple of the daisy chains.

Alienore pulled the blanket tighter against herself, checking to make sure that no sign of her fine dress could be seen. "El-My sis- My friends sometimes call me Ali."

"Alright then, Ali it is. It's nice to meet you." Gwen said extending her hand for a handshake. Alienore did not hesitate to return, smiling at the twinkle in the other girl's eyes.

"Nice to meet you too, Gwen."

"What brings you out here, Ali?"

"I-I just needed to leave, to go somewhere where no one knew me for a little bit, I guess. I needed time to think, and so I came here. It's one of my favorite places, because it's so peaceful."

"It's beautiful. I don't think I would have ever seen this place if I hadn't stumbled on it by accident, but now I'm so glad that I'm here!" Gwen said.

"What took you here?"

"I was out looking for a rare flower that only grows in these parts. Gaius, the Court Physician in Camelot- that's where I'm from you see, I think I forgot to mention earlier, oh well- asked me to look for it. He was really kind to my family, coming out to treat my mom when she was sick, so I wanted to repay his kindness, you see. Morgana- I mean, Lady Morgana- I'm her maidservant, that's why I'm here- gosh I'm making a mess and you probably can't understand any of this, but anyways, Lady Morgana was sleeping, so I figured today was as good as any day."

Alienore laughed at how flustered the other girl seemed to get as she answered the question. It was an endearing trait, how she kept putting her foot in her mouth, but kept on talking. A light blush now stained Gwen's cheeks as Alienore waved her concern away. "You're here for the coronation then?"

Gwen nodded, saying: "Well, to help Lady Morgana get ready for the coronation. I doubt they invited the foreign servants. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to catch a glimpse of the Queen as she arrives into the hall or at the banquet later. I would love to see the coronation though, it sounds like the best part of being Queen. Wearing a pretty dress and having everyone say nice things about you may be the only good thing about being Queen, actually. I mean, if you're Queen, you don't have time for anything else: friends, family, hobbies, falling in love. All that, gone! No, I feel quite sorry for her- Oh my gosh that sounds like treason!"

"No, no, I definitely know what you mean. In all confidence, I feel kind of sorry for her too. I mean, if she messes up or something, she'll have everyone watching and judging." Alienore said, a little twinkle in her eyes as she smiled conspirationally at Gwen.

Gwen laughed at Alienore's over the top wink. "No, but I would love for once to sit and watch an event instead of standing at the back with the other servants… Are you going to the coronation? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…" Gwen quickly added as she saw the guarded look return to Alienore's eyes.

"No, it's fine. I don't actually know if I'm going to go. Those affairs tend to drag on forever." Alienore said, careful of not giving any hint of how she'll actually attend. She let Gwen draw her own conclusions about whether she would be going as a servant or a noblewoman. It was clear that the other girl had no idea that she was talking to the same person she had just been discussing.

"Maybe one day a handsome knight will sweep me away and make me his lady. Then, I'll get to actually sit down and eat at these infernally long royal functions!" Gwen said wistfully.

Alienore laughed at the mock serious tone, and then said, "Any knight will be lucky to have you, Gwen. I can see you're destined for great things." She said, her mind flashing back to what Merlin had told her about this sweet and simple girl in front of her. Little did she know that one day, she would be attending her own coronation instead of Alienore's. Indeed, Gwen was destined for great things.

"Me? I'm just a simple maidservant, the daughter of a blacksmith. No, I'm happy with my lot in life. I've got a good family and a good job, a mistress that is more like a friend. Great things are not in the cards for me." Gwen said more seriously. Her face turned pensive before she said: "I think the one who is going to do great things is the future Queen. I caught just a glimpse of her this morning, but Ali! She was young, probably around our age, but she carried herself like a Queen who had ruled for decades. She had this quiet strength and confidence that even King Uther respected. No, she is one who is going to do great things, not I."

Alienore reached over to awkwardly pat Gwen leg. "Nonetheless, I do believe you're meant for more than the life of a simple maidservant. Call it a premonition or a feeling, but I just know."

"Then I shall take your word for it and thank you for your faith." Gwen said, smiling as she covered Alienore's hand with her own. "Oh my goodness, look at the time! I need to get back and get Morgana ready for the banquet tonight!" Gwen said, looking at the sun, which was starting to set. She ran over to where she left the basket before pausing to look back at Alienore.

Alienore stood up as well and, gathering the blanket close, she picked up the daisy crown that she had made for herself earlier. Walking over to where Gwen was standing, trying to find the words to say goodbye, she said, "There. Now you can be the Queen of this clearing. Your Majesty." Alienore said, dropping into her best curtsy.

"Thank you. Goodbye, Ali. I wish you well."

"Goodbye, Gwen. I hope our paths cross again." Alienore said. Gwen shot her another smile as she hurried out of the clearing, close to running. Alienore waited for a few seconds before gathering her things and hopping onto her horse, taking a different path than Gwen as she made her way back to the castle.

When she walked back into her rooms at the castle, she found an uproar. Elaine, Brownen, Elena, Mithian and Graham (who were not-so-subtly holding hands) were sitting and standing around, all arguing in loud voices. Near the doorway, Sir Aidan was lounging, watching with a worried look on his face. He was the first to notice her arrival, startled. "My lady, we were all worried!" He said, moving off the wall. None of the other inhabitants of the room seemed to have noticed her standing in the doorway, and so they kept arguing about her whereabouts.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to clear my head. Have they been at this for long?" She said, inclining her head towards her family and friends.

"Maybe half a turn of the sundial?" Sir Aidan said, the amusement that he had been too worried to show earlier now shining through.

"This is ridiculous." Alienore said, stomping towards the center of the room. "STOP!" She yelled.

Everyone froze, turning to look at her. "Alienore! Ali! My lady!" Various voices chimed. "Where were you? We were all worried sick!" Said Graham, his voice louder than the others.

"I took a ride to clear my head. Now, what were you all doing?"

Many of the people assembled blushed, murmuring nonsense under their breaths. They were clearly embarrassed at having been caught arguing. Alienore saw Sir Aidan trying to hold a laugh, and she had to restrain a grin herself. She also was careful to shoot a pointed look at Mithian and Graham's joined hands, causing the two to hastily spring apart with bright red spots on their cheeks. Deciding to take pity on them, knowing that they had been truly worried about her, she said: "Well, whatever, you can all tell me later. I think we've all got a banquet to prepare for, so shoo! Out of my room!" She said, closing the door behind Elaine, the last one.

"Brownen, I need a favor…." She said, giving herself over to the servant's careful care.

An hour and a half later, darkness had fallen. Alienore looked like a brand new person, with a loose half up half down hair style and loose curling hair reaching all the way to her waist. Her gown had an empire waist and was made completely out of cloth of silver, cutting away at the bodice and the skirt to show the light blue under gown. She was wearing a silver circlet on her forehead embedded with two sapphires, and it looked like it had just come out of the Lord of the Rings. She loved it, and had in fact taken it out of the vaults herself just for tonight. For a boost of confidence, she was wearing Joyeuse in a special sheath underneath her gown, meant to conceal her sword.

When she arrived in the Great Hall, everyone was already there. On the raised dais meant for the high table, three more tables had been added in a square formation in order to accommodate the visiting royalty. Long, rectangular tables served all the knights and nobles, below the royal table. Alienore walked over to the intricate chair that had always been her father's and said: "Welcome to all our guests to Lyonesse! Please, dig in!" She said, gesturing for the servants to start bringing the first course. Everyone sat, and a night of merriment and good spirits that none would soon forget started.

Gwen climbed the last step of what seemed like the thousandth to her room. It had been a long day, busy and tiring. Put on top of three weeks spent riding a horse and sleeping on the hard ground, she was exhausted. She finally reached the tiny room- more of a closet, really- that had been assigned to her and opened the door. She collapsed on the bed, ready to sleep without even washing her face or changing out of her dirty dress, before noticing something odd beneath her. It was a dress, more beautiful than any she'd ever seen, purple with an embroidered neckline and a billowing skirt. Attached to it there was a short note, clearly scribbled in a hurry. Gwen thanked her mother for the hundredth time for teaching her how to read and write, and then read:

Dear Gwen,

Thank you for your honesty and company this afternoon. Not many would be as kind to a stranger with no name as you were. I hope that I can truly call you a friend without causing offence. And to see you tomorrow, sitting down and enjoying the show, as well as the food. My treat.

Yours, Ali.

P.S. I really hope the dress fits, seeing as we looked of a size. If not, feel free to ask any of the servants for help.

Showtime. Game time. All words that helped describe what Alienore was feeling, and yet were not quite enough. It was an odd feeling as she waited in her bedchamber for Graham to come and get her, for everyone to be assembled. She should have been nervous, on edge even, and yet an odd calm had settled within her sometime during the long, sleepless night. Everyone around her seemed to feel a wide range of emotions, moving fast and talking even quicker, and yet she was calm, her movements even and measured. It was like she was the eye of the hurricane, the calm in the center of the storm. It raged all around her, and yet she showed no signs of it. In a way, she had made her peace with her task, and now all that lay between her and the rest of her life was just today, the coronation.

She sat on her bed, her hands folded in her lap. Somehow, she had resisted her usual urge to pace, and was instead just staring at her room, taking it all in. Something told her that once she walked through the doorway, nothing would ever be the same. She would leave as Alienore, and the next time she returned she would be Queen Alienore. Everything would change, and yet she would still remain the same. Strangely, she was okay with that.

A quiet knock sounded on the door. Alienore glanced outside the window and judged it to be too earlier for it to be Graham to come and get her for the ceremony. Opening the door, she saw Brownen, wearing a new yellow dress, standing in the doorway.

"Your Majesty" Brownen said with a small curtsy.

Alienore opened the door wider and stood aside to let the servant through. "No need for that, Brownen. I'm still the same as always. Now, what can I do for you?"

"I have a gift for you. I forgot to give to you earlier." Brownen said, holding up an elaborate box that she had been nervously clutching.

"Who's it from?" Alienore said, getting her first glimpse of herself in her coronation gown. Her hair was down and loose, reaching past her waist. No embellishments or hairstyles had been done to leave room for the crown. Her gown was a deep sky blue, of course, with the skirt having several layers, each lighter than the one below it, ending with a small train at the bottom. The bodice had a golden corset above it, but fortunately was not restricting her in any way. Finally, the sleeves were the same sky blue till mid-arm, where they cascaded into precious lace all the way down her wrist. It had taken over a month to craft by hand, and was by far the best gown Alienore had ever seen.

"Well, in a way, your mother." Brownen said, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"My mother?"

"Yes, my lady. Your mother, Queen Venetia, gave this to my mother, who was one of her servants, and made her swear to give it you on your coronation day. Since my mother passed on, she gave me this duty. I have kept it safe for you ever since." Brownen said, opening the box to show a delicate silver necklace resting on the red velvet that lined the box. It was made of intricate links that resembled sideways eights (or infinity signs, as they would be known in Alienore's time) with a big sapphire resting in the center, meant to lay near her heart.

"It's beautiful. Brownen, I don't even know what to say, because thank you cannot really convey what I'm feeling right now. Thank you, thank you, a million times." Alienore said, wiping a couple tears from her eyes. This necklace was a way to carry her mother and father, from both centuries really, with her on this day. It meant more to her than anyone could ever know. "Will you help me put it on?" Alienore said, parting her hair to the side.

"Of course, my lady." Brownen said, undoing the somewhat primitive clasp. She laid it around Alienore's neck and clasped it, standing back to see the effect. She nodded, satisfied. "Now you're ready, my lady."

"Thank you, Brownen. I'll let you go and take your seat. Did you do as we discussed last night?"

"Yes, my lady. I'll see you in a bit." Brownen said, smiling at Alienore. Without her usual sense of purpose and efficiency, she looked younger, more her age. Alienore was glad that she had gotten to be more than just Brownen's mistress, they had become friends. Brownen told her any palace gossip and was invaluable in organizing events such as this one. She relied on the maidservant, and did not mind saying so.

All alone with her thoughts once again, Alienore went to stand beside the window. It was still her favorite place in the room, and today was no different. The sky was blue and the sea calm, as if nature was smiling down on the day's events. Alienore smiled, taking it as a good omen.

"Alienore!" Graham said on the other side of the door sometimes later, interrupting Alienore's reverie. She hurried over to open the door, bunching up her gown in one hand in order to avoid tripping on it. Opening the door, she caught Graham in mid-knock. Her brother looked grown up in his dress armor and blue cloak. He looked like a knight in shining armor out of a fairytale, not the sarcastic idiot she knew and loved. She understood why Mithian liked him so much.

"I'm here, I'm here, calm your horses." Alienore said, letting Graham come into the room.

"Good, because everyone is down there and I only left Elaine and Mithian to mitigate and I don't want three wars to break out while they're waiting." Graham said, dragging a trailing cloak behind him.

"Alright, I think I'm all good…" Alienore replied, checking her reflection in the mirror one more time.

"Ahehem?" Graham said, pointing to the velvet navy blue cloak he was holding. On its back, the crest of Lyonesse was embroidered in silver thread. The cloak was as familiar to her as her own face, it had been her father's cloak, used for any official occasion.

"Is that- Is it-Is it?" She asked, her hand visibly trembling as she reached out to touch it. She already knew the answer, seeing the way the light shone off of it, the softness.

"No, but it's very similar. It's an exact copy of the cloak the kings of Lyonesse have been wearing for the last 500 years." Graham said, shaking it out and putting it over Alienore's shoulders, clasping it with a silver round brooch. "There, now you're all ready."

"Yes, yes I am." Alienore said, taking comfort in the cloak's warm weight and soft whisper. She took Graham's offered arm and followed him down the stairs, all the way down to the Throne Room.

"This is where I leave you. Good luck, Ali." Graham said, kissing her cheek and punching her lightly in the arm. He opened the doors, only wide enough for Alienore to catch a small glimpse of everyone inside, before closing them again with a small wink that solicited a smile from her. She waited as she heard everyone stand up in a rustle of silk and velvet, chainmail and satin. Then, the doors swung open and she was flooded by the bright light coming through the stain glass windows behind the throne.

Taking only a moment to recover herself, Alienore started down the aisle, head held high and her gaze straight ahead to the small raised dais where the archbishop and Court Historian stood a step below the throne. Her throne.

Gwen was bewildered and amazed to be sitting at the coronation amid the nobles and knights. She had woken up, thinking that the dress and the note had been all a dream, only to find both still clutched in her hand. She had put on the dress with a little of difficulty- she wasn't used to wearing dresses with laces herself- but it had fit exactly like Ali said it would. The purple looked really good on her, and the cut made her appear taller. Dressing Morgana had gone by in a daze, a whirlwind of activity. After Morgana had gone down to take her seat, Gwen had not-so-subtly followed her, unsure of where exactly her place. She had almost gone to stand with the other servants, sure that that was what the letter intended, when she was waylaid by a wispy blond wearing a fine white and green gown.

"Are you Gwen?" The girl said in her musical voice. She had a smile plastered on her face and genuine excitement, as well as happiness, could be read everywhere on her face.

"Yes." Gwen said, smiling uncertainly. How did the girl know her name?

"Oh finally! I've been looking everywhere for you! Ali said that I better look out for you, that you didn't know where to sit. Come, you're just a few rows back from me and my family. I'm Elaine by the way." The girl said, grabbing Gwen's arm and pulling her to a row fairly close to the raised dais, far further into the room than Gwen was comfortable with. Indeed, she was only two rows back from where Morgana sat on the other side of the aisle, talking with Uther and blessedly oblivious.

"That's your seat. If you need anything, Brownen should be here anytime. She has this other seat. I'll see you after, Gwen." Elaine said. Gwen's seat was the middle one on the row, with the girl named Brownen taking the empty aisle one. As soon as she finished talking, Elaine flitted away to her own seat in the front row, giving Gwen as small wave when she saw that the other girl was still standing in the middle of the aisle. Gwen quickly moved to sit, struggling not to gape at her surroundings. She stared at everyone and everything, her brain struggling to take it all in. It was only when she heard the doors shut and saw a knight quickly walk down the aisle to take his place next to Elaine that she snapped out of her reverie. She stood up with the rest of the people, twisting to take a good look at the back of the room. The doors opened and a girl walked in, looking not much older than Gwen herself. That was the only glimpse that Gwen got before she too had to bow down with the rest of the room, but it was enough. This time, there was no stopping her jaw from hanging open. Ali stood for Alienore, the Queen of Lyonesse.

"Alienore Genevieve Madeleine Skye Marie Vatteville, do you solemnly promise to uphold and protect the laws and people of Lyonesse to the best of your abilities from now to the day of your death?" The thin, reedy voice of the archbishop said.

"I do." Alienore affirmed, her voice clear and strong, carrying through the room and all those within it. She was kneeling on a red velvet cushion, her back to the room. As she said her words, the archbishop took the crown from its cushion in the Court Librarian's hands and held it aloft over Alienore's head.

"Then I crown thee, Alienore, Queen of Lyonesse." The archbishop said, placing the heavy golden crown, embellished with diamonds and sapphires, on Alienore's head. With that, Alienore turned to face the crown, who was now shouting 'Long Live the Queen' as she led them out to the banquet hall. Lyonesse had its Queen.