Bittersweet taste
Severus leaned back to the wall of his bedroom unable to keep upright. He had sustained the effects of the Cruciatus far longer than he had expected. He made it to his chambers trying not to be seen by any students or professors, locked and warded his door, but his try stopped right there.
The need to get to the bathroom to clean himself was too strong, but he was unable to sustain his weight any longer. Especially now that he didn't feel the need to put on a strong facade for any spectators. He decided to collapse on his bed instead, but his body fell backwards and the wall caught his inevitable collapse. He sat down next to his bed, feeling unable to move anymore. His arms hang lifeless and his legs opened up in abandoned V shape.
He closed his eyes and felt his breath deep and strained. The painful waves were coming further apart and remaining as motionless as possible was helping him keep them at bay. Quickly he drifted off to unconsciousness, because no one could call this sleep. Even though time rolled by him for what seemed an eternity, at one point his eyes opened up at the sound of an urgent voice. The image was blurred, but he knew who it was and he jerked back, hoping this was some kind of nightmare instead of reality.
"My Gods…Severus, please talk to me…" the voice spoke clearer this time and he winced. He tried to pull his face away from Hermione's hand.
"How the hell did you get in?" was the only thing his mangled voice was able to whisper at her.
He felt the pause in her, but her palm cupped his cheek and her finger caressed his bloody chin "Your wards were not strong enough to keep me out…In sort I broke into your apartments and thank Merlin I did. Look at you!" she rejoined.
"Get out…" he whispered and tried to move away from her "…please".
"What the hell are you talking about? I am not going anywhere…open your eyes. Come on…open them" She tilted his head up from the chin.
He shuddered and felt a painful wave passing from his body "Just go away…" his hand wrapped it around hers. He wanted to push her off. Her wanted so much to send her away, but his hand was not obeying him. His fingers curled around her wrist, not wanting to let her go.
Apparently her need to remain next to him was equally strong. "I am not leaving...Let me help you…please" her voice was soft and caring.
Severus's heart pinched him again and he closed his eyes. "No, not now. Not like this..." he whispered stubbornly.
"I did all this to you…don't kick me out…let me stay please" her voice broke mid sentence.
...she did all this to me?...what the hell was she thinking? That she was the instigator of this situation? Suddenly the need to get her out and protect her from seeing all this mess, got crashed under the solemn need to make her understand that this has not been her fault. His fingers that had never released her wrist, tightened painfully around it. She paused in confusion for a moment. He pulled her down on him and she got forced to straddle him in order to avoid falling down.
"Severus!" She exclaimed surprised.
He wrapped his arms behind her back and embraced as warmly as his exhausted body would allow him. After her monetary confusion at this sudden change of heart from him she settled on his lap with a sigh of relief and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders "What got into you? A second ago you wanted to kick me out…" she whispered onto his hair "…not that I am complaining, mind you…."
"Easier to shut you up than kick you out…you are uttering obscenities…and I don't have the energy to raise a debate..." he whispered and shuddered at how true that felt to him.
Her hand left his shoulder and began caressing his silver-black hair "Where did they take you?" she muttered and felt her chest welling up once more.
"The Inquisitor offices" he responded.
"Did that man do all this to you?" her palm cupped his jaw line and tried to push him back in order to see his eyes.
He nodded tiredly.
"Why? For goodness sake why?" her voice became soft in its inquiry, making his heart reach out to her.
"Borovic's got a very unstable hand and wand…he is easy on the trigger"
"Did you provoke him?"
"Yes"
"For fuck's sake, we have to report all this…we have to talk to Harry, we have to…" her mind began running away with her thoughts as her hand tightened around his shoulders.
As she was thinking of a way to make the man that caused him all this hell pay, he was getting slowly drawn into another nightmare. Just by holding her in his arms, the painful words of Borovic resounded upon his ears like gunshots.
Abusing, killing women and children…did you ever abuse a child in that school? Did you fantasise about your former student when she was a child?….
His body shuddered hard and his lips turned down in disgust. He was holding that former student in his arms, and his embrace was not intended as friendly. He shuddered at how true and how false the words of the Auror had been at the same time.
"What's wrong…Severus?" she looked down at him with mild apprehension when she felt his muscles becoming stiff.
"You know I would never hurt you…" he whispered and felt his soul pulling into darkness, even at the suspicion that someone might have thought him an abuser….
She paused and swallowed "What are you talking about? Of course I know you would never hurt me…"
He squeezed his arms around her and stopped her "I used to teach you…"
"Yes, many years ago…" she tried with a confused frown. She couldn't understand what he was telling her. It sounded like a mixture of remorse and an apology, which had nothing to do with his current ill condition.
"Yet, I used to be your teacher…and now…now what?" he whispered and his jawline tightened upon remembering the words that had triggered Borovic's final attack.
Her arms moved around his back in a soft caress "You sound full of remorse"
He felt his throat going dry, but couldn't answer.
"Why would you feel remorse about something we both want? What does all this have to do with what's happening to you now?" she attempted to understand where all this had come from all of a sudden. .
"I don't want you to feel like I am taking advantage of you…" he whispered.
"Severus this thing between us is consensual…are we both agreed on that?...and can we focus on your health for now?" her arms wrapped around the back of his neck.
"Just know that I would never do anything to harm you" he insisted.
"I know…" she tried to comfort him. He was going through some personal hell and she didn't know how to make him understand that she was there for him. That it was ok…
He shook his head drawn deeper and deeper in Borovic's hell "I would never harm anyone, moreover a child..." he muttered mostly at himself. For a second forgetting she was there with him.
Her heart froze still and a slow, hair raising, realisation dawned at her "Severus….look at me…" she pulled back. She cupped his chin and lifted his head up gently "What did that man accuse you of?" her eyes were penetrating, a shadow of darkness just touching her brow.
He felt his eyes burning and closed them just in time. He didn't speak.
"Severus, I am not a child anymore. I am not your student anymore…" she swallowed heavily and frowned at him as her fingers tightened upon the stubble of his cheeks.
"I know" he nodded, but didn't open his eyes.
"And the child that you do have in your company lately, could attest that you are the exact opposite of what that asshole probably accused you off" she kept her voice equanimous, trying to be the steady pillar he needed next to him at that moment, but anger was shimmering under her skin. Just from the suspicion that someone might have accused this brave man of such dark deeds.
His eyes opened and he gazed at her steadily.
She nodded "Did I hit bullseye?"
His adam's apple moved as he swallowed, but he remained silent.
"Did that man tried to break you through psychological abuse? Did he call you a child murderer…or something close to that?" she licked her lips uneasily.
His eyes avoided her.
"He did, didn't he?" she shuddered.
"Forgive me" he whispered.
She cupped his cheek and pulled him up. Her eyes were full of tears as his was. Her forefinger wiped out a tear that rolled down his cheek "I have nothing to forgive, for you have done nothing" she whispered back.
He closed his eyes and tried to pull his head away from her. She kept him in place stubbornly. Wanting him to understand her.
"I am sorry you had to be reminded of how cruel the world can be…because of me" she whispered and felt her own eyes tearing up.
"Not because of you. You had nothing to do with this..." his hands run up her arms and closed around her securely.
"I am so sorry….so sorry" she mumbled and felt her emotions one step from emptying on him. The last thing he needed right now was to comfort her….he was the one in dire need of a helping hand. She had to put her own pity party at rest and assist him.
"I would shut you up all these apologies, if only I could..." he spoke low close to her ear.
"All promises and no actions..." she smiled sadly.
He winced disgusted at his inability to kiss her silent, because of his bloody mouth.
"Are there any wounds that need healing right now? I cannot see with all this blood..." Her fingers touched his bruised cheek softly.
He shook his head "Minerva healed me".
The relief he was feeling in her arms was short lived. A delayed wave of pain washed over his body taking him by surprise. He tensed under her and jerked back to the wall with a painful groan.
She felt her heart catching and she wrapped her arms around him protectively. This was not a reaction that was coming from any minor wound "Severus what's wrong!?" she cried at him.
He tightened his teeth as the painful waves flared up every inch of his skin.
"Stay with me…tell me what's going on!" she took hold of his head and tried to make him open his eyes. This…this reminded her of something she has seen before. She knew these effects…the knowledge just danced at the edge of her panicky mind.
That is when his bedroom door opened up and Charity came running in "I was notified by Minerva…oh! Shit…sorry!" she stopped short and turned around covering her face in obvious embarrassment.
Hermione looked at her partly confused partly angry "What are you doing?!" she admonished.
"Caught you at a bad timing..or something?" Charity pointed behind her vaguely.
"Turn around you silly woman and help me…he is convulsing…! I need help!" Hermione almost hollered.
Charity turned around shocked and run up to help them, as she realised that her original assumptions couldn't have been more wrong.
"These are the after effects of some curse and he is not telling me which one" Hermione tried to restraint his arms.
"Get off me" he growled and tried to move.
"Tell me which curse it is!" she cried on his face.
"Crucio!" he spat.
"We need to notify Poppy!" Charity said.
"No!" he shook his head. He could withstand the painful waves, if they just stopped moving him all the time.
"I have an antidote in my apartments, remain with him. I will be back in a moment!" Hermione stood up and run out of the bedroom quickly.
Charity kneeled in front of him "Severus?"
"Get away!" he whispered imperatively.
"I am not going anywhere" her arm touched his back gently.
He shuddered and his mind fogged up "Get...Hermione...Out...Of...Here..."
Charity's fingers tightened upon his back "what are you talking about?"
"Tell her to stay out, please" he struggled to meet her eyes.
"You feel for this girl, don't you? You don't want her to see you in this mess..." her voice was barely a whisper, nevertheless her words passed through to him.
He felt his eyes burning and gave her a curt nod, which was accompanied with a twisted wince as a new painful wave tore through him.
Her eyes watered up and a few tears run down her cheeks "I won't send her away. I am going to assist both of you"
"No" his pained groan filled the room.
"Yes! Listen to me…." she tried to find his eyes.
He shook his head negatively to her. He didn't want to listen to her. He wanted them both out of his rooms. He didn't want Hermione to see him like this. He didn't want to cause her anymore pain. He didn't want her guilt ridden, because of this. He wanted to protect her and the best way he could at that moment was by keeping her away. Until he was healed at least.
"Listen!" she commanded with a voice that didn't take no for an answer "When I was suffering under Voldemort's dark magic, I searched for your eyes Severus…and when I found them I knew I could count on you. I saw the loyalty in your eyes" she leaned closer to him.
His eyes gazed at her painfully.
"Can you see it in my eyes now?" she asked with a heavy frown. Her eyes were set upon his.
He didn't answer.
"You are my best friend Severus…and I love you. I will not leave you alone tonight. I will never leave you alone and neither will I tell the young woman, that has captured your heart, to leave you alone. For once in your life stop this self destructive behaviour and realise that there are people around that care for you…deeply. For once in your life stop curling inwards for comfort and reach out to us. Reach out to me" her hand opened up in front of him. Strong and decisive.
His eyes fell on it as he felt the new wave of pain arriving quickly on his body. He bore his teeth both in order to withstand the pain and to face Charity's demanding attitude.
"This time you must reach out to me as I did to you in Malfoy's manor. This time you must reach out for me and trust me that I shall take your hand and help you. Reach out to me…I am here for you!" she said steadily.
As the wave hit him like a freight train, he needed to believe her words and his hand shot out and grasped hers with a power that made her wince. He groaned and doubled down, pulling her with him. Her arms wrapped around his back as he leaned his forehead on her knees.
He never let go of her arm, that was offered with such honesty. For once he not feeling alone in his suffering. First by the tenderness and acceptance of Hermione and then by the honest demand of Charity he felt like he was not alone...or maybe this had always been the case, but it was the first time he was realising it.
Charity felt her heart catching when she felt his need to connect so strong. When she saw him for the first time openly reaching out to any kind of help, without any grumpiness and trying to shun her away from his presence. Her free arm wrapped his waist and she cradled him silently until Hermione return to the bedroom like a youthful hurricane holding a large bottle.
Charity smiled at the younger witch's energy that swept through the bedroom, realising for the first time how she had also swept Severus off his feet.
Hermione kneeled next to her "How is he?" she questioned with eyes burning with worry.
Charity nodded with a knowing smile "He's better than he's ever been..."
"What?" Hermione frowned confused at Charity's mysterious words.
Charity pulled back in order to give her the place she deserved "He needs you" she whispered.
Severus was not letting her go of her hand, though. Only when Charity whispered "Hermione is here to look after you, let me go" did his iron grip release her.
Hermione reached out to his hand, but before she had the time to take it, he grabbed her with a force that took her breath away. It felt as if he wanted to hang onto her for life itself. She pulled him inwards and kissed the top of his head with unforeseen emotion.
She uncorked the bottle "I am here, don't worry. I have you. Drink up…drink up" she whispered gently close to his face. His breath was coming in short violent gasps.
The trembling had briefly stopped again, but his eyes seemed lost as he gazed up"Drink, it's going to help you. Please…drink up" she whispered.
What has this Auror done to you? What have I done to you?
Guilt threatened to push her over the edge.
She mouth fed him the potion and when he finished she drew his head protectively on her chest "It's going to be ok…you are going to be ok, I am here" she muttered and rocked him gently.
Charity pulled back and looked at them sadly. She sat down at the floor cross legged and bit both lips as time rolled by. Hermione kept rocking him back and forth, counting inwards, trying to feel any changes on his body that indicated that the potion was working on him. Silence drew long inside the room and they barely moved. Only the crackling of the fire and the ticking of the wall clock at the living room were animating the scene.
Almost forty five minutes later found Charity dozing off upon her hand. Hermione had leaned upon the wall with him on her lap and her arms around him. What alerted her that something had changed, was the first deep sigh that left his mouth and scorched the naked skin of her cleavage.
"Severus?" she whispered.
He nodded softly.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked carefully.
Another nod.
"No more pain?" she pulled back softly and tried to find his eyes.
He shook his head and opened up his tired eyes.
Charity looked up and straightened "Is he ok?"
Hermione nodded "The Potion worked I think. Isn't that right?"
He closed his eyes briefly and nodded.
"That fucker Borovic overdid it this time…" Charity uncrossed her legs and walked on all fours towards them.
He shook his head "I need to rest" he spoke at both women.
His words pushed Hermione into action "Of course, but I want to assess any other damage on you" she checked at his bruised knuckles "You are so bloody I don't know where to start"
"You need to take a bath Severus" Charity agreed.
"Not now" he glared at her and tried to push himself up.
Hermione pulled him up "I'll use a cleaning spell on you"
"Just let me rest" he whispered feeling at the end of his tether. He didn't care if he was going to make a mess out of his bed. He just needed to fall on it with his bloody clothes and all and close his eyes. Try to forget the pain he had been feeling since he left the Ministry, try to block out the accusations of Borovic that sounded all too real in his ears now that he was vulnerable.
Hermione tried to lower him down slowly, but he let himself go and emptied his tired body above the covers. He didn't even take off his boots as his legs spread on the clean duvet. The moment his head touched a pillow his eyes closed tightly and sleep swept upon him like a dark blanket. Within seconds he was in another world….not so much sleeping as falling unconscious.
Hermione pulled off his boots, but didn't try to move him around to take off his clothes. She didn't want to bother him. With a heavy heart she cast a cleaning spell on him and all the blood got removed. She turned at Charity and the sadness was obvious in her eyes "I guess this time he didn't come home as easily as you had been expecting him"
Charity lowered her eyes briefly "No, he didn't"
"I think he managed to piss of Borovic pretty well" Hermione whispered and the back of her hand wiped a few tears that escaped.
Charity nodded imperceptibly "I am sorry Hermione…no one can know how things will turn out at the Ministry, especially with this man"
"Did you just tell me all those comforting words this morning, to make me feel better?" Hermione sniffed and wiped her cheeks clean.
"No, I meant every word, I am just not omnipotent. I thought he was safe with Minerva there next to him. I was wrong…." Charity sounded honesty and deeply pained also.
"Crucio….what the hell is wrong with that man…." Hermione shook her head angrily and sat at the edge of the bed. Her eyes fell on his crumpled body and at his quiet, but bruised features.
"We have to talk to Minerva, she is currently at her office with your friend Potter" Charity said thoughtfully.
Hermione looked up quickly "Harry is here?"
Charity nodded.
"I need to talk to him" she bit her lower lip.
"Go on then"
"What now?" Hermione looked up.
"Yes, what better chance than this?"
"I don't want to leave Severus" she explained.
"I will remain with him until you return…." Charity offered.
Hermione's eyes grew large "You will?"
"Sure, sat with him through many painful nights. What's one more" Charity flicked her shoulders.
Hermione shook her head with fervour "Thank you, I will be back soon!"
"Sure darling…go take care of business. I'll be waiting for you" Charity smiled at her sweetly.
Hermione before leaving, opened up his cupboard and she pulled out an extra duvet. She tucked him well under it and when she felt certain that he was warm she caressed his temple gently "I'll be back…sleep" she whispered at him and then turned at Charity "Thank you" she repeated with an honesty that touched the older witch.
****...****
Hermione left the room with a lot of guilt burdening her shoulders and regret tugging along with her. She walked quickly to her apartments to ask Libby if she could stay the night. Unfortunately the girl was very tired since she had child sat all day long. Hermione nodded and told her that she would return to pick up Teddy in half an hour. She was going to bring him in Snape's chambers and let him sleep on the couch, while she looked after the older wizard. Then she made it quickly to Minerva's office. Only when her hand knocked on the door and she tried to fix her teaching robes around her, did she realise that she had lost them at some point during this hectic evening.
She looked up as Minerva opened "Is Harry here?" she tried to look above Minerva's shoulder.
The Headmistress raised her brow critically and Hermione cleared her throat "I mean good evening…"
"No need to stand on typicalities. This night is anything but typical. Come, your friend is here" she made room for her to pass.
"Harry!" she exclaimed and he stood up. She run up to him and buried herself in his arms. He embraced her with the same warmth she remembered from their school days.
"Hi" he tightened his arms around her.
"Are you ok?" she pulled back and her eyes bespoke of worry.
"Yes, are you?" he rejoined.
She began nodding and then her nod turned into a negation. Tears began falling from her eyes and her lower lip trembled. There in front of her best friend she felt all her restraints collapsing and the worry about Severus came out with the most expected way possible "No" she muttered.
Harry winced and drew her in another warm embrace "Everything is ok…shh…calm down"
"He is not ok Harry. What did they do to him? Why is he such a mess?" she said and pulled back.
He looked at her with unbearable sadness.
She gazed at Minerva "Why did they treat him worse than an animal?". She was trying hard not to let her voice break.
"Borovic is unstable…he is unpredictable…" Minerva tried to explain, but Hermione didn't let her finish. She pulled out of Harry's grasp.
"Why didn't you help him?!" this time her accusation was clear.
Minerva frowned "Who told you I didn't?!"
"Then how in the name of Merlin did he end up convulsing under Crucio?!" she pointed towards the door, with hair raising tension.
Minerva sighed and pressed her lips "It's not as simple as that"
"Isn't it?" Hermione crossed her arms defensively "I thought it'd be pretty obvious to see a Crucio been cast…easy to stop it, if you are there. Were you there or not?"
Minerva "I was, but…."
"Then why didn't you stop it?!"
"Because Borovic never uttered the curse or moved his wand and Severus never showed any real symptoms until it was too late. Because both wizards are highly trained and very experienced in Dark Spells. Because at that moment I was arguing with the Inquisitor on his behalf….not everything is black or white Hermione!" Minerva rebuked with a seriousness that made Hermione take a few steps back.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and more tears run down her cheeks.
"Silly wand waving and crying out CRUCIO! with a threatening glare is not what happens usually at such advanced levels of magical users as Borovic is. A simple thought can channel the curse silently through a wand. Moreover not every wizard writhes in pain on a floor screaming his lungs off to betray the curse. Especially wizards of Severus's calibre who have undergone through severe training, with high pain tolerance as a prerequisite. In short… I didn't realise in time!" Minerva's voice was prickly.
Hermione felt her heart collapsing at the image that got created in her mind as Minerva spoke. She shook her head "Forgive me" she muttered.
Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder "Minerva did the best she could for the Professor. The first thing I saw upon entering was her defending him to the bone"
Hermione nodded "What happened to that sick bastard, Borovic?"
"I am not sure yet, but I don't think he will get out of this one unharmed. He used an Unforgivable inside the Ministry, in order to torture. It's one thing to peruse the Unforgivables in Azkaban and a whole different thing to do it in broad daylight at the offices of the Ministry. He is doomed, I dare think" Minerva sat down. She looked absolutely exhausted.
"Oh, he is doomed alright" Harry said.
"Why didn't you doom him earlier? Why did you have to wait for something like this to happen? Why wait for someone to die in order to revoke his licence then Harry?" Hermione pulled back and this time attacked her friend. Her need to find a culprit for Severus's dire condition was so strong, that she blindly attacked anyone she could.
"Borovic has the support of Kingsley, because of his substantial magical ability. Truth be told he is the most powerful Auror the Ministry has"
"And also the most insane!" Hermione barked and crossed her arms.
Harry fixed his glasses and nodded "Insane doesn't do him justice. I have been trying to find a reason to get him fired since I became Chief. I think today's events have given me more than a good reason. This one cannot be covered, even by the Minister"
"So Severus had to be sliced and diced, for you to get your chance…nice" she shook her head.
"I didn't get him arrested Mione. I wasn't the one that took him up to the mountains" Harry said carefully.
She turned abruptly and gazed at him angrily "Well…" she whispered not knowing what else to say. Apparently he got well informed about how things stood by the Headmistress. She turned at Minerva "Wasn't that a bit intrusive on your behalf?"
Minerva shook her head "The whole school knows your situation…I didn't betray any major secret"
She turned her attention to Harry again "I did take him up to the mountains and I don't think I will be able to apologise to him enough for the punishment that he got for it. I should have taken the blame…instead he did…and you cannot image how bad this feels…." she begun talking angrily, but throughout her speech her heart began crying inside and her eyes followed closely.
Harry's shoulders slouched when he saw her this broken and he tried to pull her back in his arms. She resisted "I am sorry Mione…I didn't mean it. I had to stop you somehow. You were trying to find a scapegoat between us. Truth is, today's events are no one's fault but Borovic's. No one else is to blame. Not Minerva for failing to understand the curse on time. Not me for failing to fire Borovic years ago as he had the support of the strongest man in the magical world. Not yours for taking a …uhm…friend.." his hesitation obvious.
She looked up at him with searching eyes "More than…"
He nodded carefully "Ok…taking your more-than-a-friend up to the mountains. The only one to blame is butt-crazy-Borovic….can we at least all agree on that front?"
Minerva exhaled and nodded curtly.
Hermione sniffed and wiped her nose again with her hand. Harry fished a tissue from his pocket and offered it to her "I can understand that you feel terrible, but blaming one of us is not going to make you feel any better. We are your friends…and his also"
"No matter that he cannot comprehend that, even under the most dire circumstances" Minerva said thoughtfully.
Hermione shook her head and blew her nose.
After a short reprise Harry spoke "How is he?"
Minerva looked up.
"A mess…really a mess" Hermione's lips smiled sadly as she wiped her face clean.
"Did you give him an antidote?" Minerva asked.
She nodded "of course"
"Did he take it?" Minerva raise her brow inquisitively.
Hermione frowned "Yes"
The Headmistress sighed in relief "Thank heavens"
"What are you going to do about this Borovic?" Hermione asked no one in particular.
"I'll get him fired, if they haven't revoked his license already" Harry answered.
"I'll use him to have a good talk with Kingsley and set some things straight. I'll use what he did as a leverage to our advantage" Minerva rejoined.
"Use him to ask for some days off for Severus, if not to revoke his probation completely" it was the solemn voice of Albus from the painting and they all looked at him simultaneously.
"That's a blindingly good idea" Minerva's eyes sparked.
"You can use him for anything really. He made such a mess that you hold the Ministry by the balls. Excuse my language Professor. How are you?" Harry smiled tiredly at Albus.
"Very well Mister Potter and how are things in the Auror barracks?" Albus smiled back at him.
"As you can hear, not very good…" Harry shook his head dejected "Such incidents smudge our impeccable reputation"
"Alexander should have been committed to a mental institution years ago. Reminds me of Barty Crouch and his son. Similar case…" Albus pressed his lips dismissively "Kingsley is such a wise man. Very cooperative. Don't know what got into him with Borovic"
"His monumental abilities…far superior to the usual Aurors. One of the most experienced magical duellists the Ministry can offer. Would have been Chief already if it wasn't for his emotional instability" Harry rejoined.
"Kingsley is not a wise man if he placed this psycho over Severus" Hermione frowned angrily.
"Don't forget that Kingsley believes Severus to be of equal abilities to Alexander if not greater. He needed a strong Auror to keep the reigns on our Librarian" Minerva raised her brow.
"Not that he was wrong on that count" Harry pursed his lips.
"Harry?!" Hermione exclaimed truly pissed off.
"He is strong Mione. You're -more-than-friend- is bloody strong" Harry rebuked her.
"Boy is exceptional with magic…indeed" Albus nodded.
"That doesn't mean he is dangerous. He has never bothered anyone with all this power and knowledge you attest. He's only used it to help us" Hermione cried.
"That's true Albus, the boy never gave us cause to worry. Kingsley acted unwisely in this case" Minerva agreed.
"And can you not call him my-more-than-friend, all the time Harry? You are pissing me off!" she glared at him.
He raised his hands "I am sorry…just a bit of humour in a very heavy situation, that's all"
"Just don't" she crossed her arms.
"Sorry, truly…" he attempted.
She huffed and looked at her boots.
Minerva took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to contain the headache that was starting to develop there "We are all too overburdened this evening. If you don't have a problem I think we stop this conversation. Currently we have more important issues at hand. Mainly the health of Severus. You said he took the antidote, Hermione?"
She nodded and looked fleetingly at her friend that was avoiding her eyes.
"That's very important. Mister Potter, you can return at the Ministry and rest assured that tomorrow first thing, the Minister will do well to expect me over"
"I need to check on Borovic anyway" Harry agreed and took off his glasses. He wiped his forehead with his palm.
"You Hermione, I assume, will remain with Severus?" Minerva turned to her. Harry did also.
She didn't hesitate "Undoubtedly" her voice was unwavering under the heavy scrutiny of her mentor and her best friend. The only one that seemed unbiased about the whole situation was Albus.
"Very well, I need to consult with Albus…so if you two could…" she waved her hand at them, like she was shooing away a bunch of flies.
"Certainly, see you later" Harry said with a small respectful bow.
"Goodnight" Hermione said feeling weary to the bone.
"If anything changes with his condition during the night, be sure to inform me" Minerva told her before they closed the door.
Hermione nodded and soon they were standing in front of the staircase. A long uncomfortable silence ensued, that was broken when they both talked at the same time.
"I am sorry.." Harry attempted.
"Harry don't…" she took a handful of hair away from her face and kept it back. She closed her eyes.
"I don't know what to say" Harry muttered.
"Anything that will get us over whatever hell this is…" she opened her eyes and looked at him angrily.
"This is not the best moment to talk about this, as I see"
"No moment will be best, because this ..." her finger created an imaginary circle in front of him "...is what it is. It's not going to change just because you, or Ron, or Ginny or whoever else, might have a problem" her voice was strict, no nonsense.
"Hermione, listen, it's not that I have a problem, it's not even that I have the right to judge anyone ….it's plainly awkward for me" Harry raised his brows.
"And this is becoming plainly uncomfortable for me" she rejoined.
"What can I tell you…where shall I begun, where shall I finish?" he asked truly at a loss for words.
"Tell me nothing…why can't you just tell me nothing? I need you to understand me, not tell me things. Nothing you say can change the way I feel right now" she exhaled and crossed her arms.
His brow creased "Hermione…I…"
She shook her head "No, Harry, just no. Go…leave…I need to get back to him"
He sighed "We need to talk"
"Not tonight…just please…not tonight" she closed her eyes already feeling drained by the demands of this day.
Harry remained silent for a moment and then offered her a small nod. Without words he approached and took her in a warm embrace. She reposed her head on his shoulder and began crying in all earnest "Just understand me…I require nothing more out of you" she whispered.
He nodded and caressed her back. When she had settled, he gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and walked down the corridor.
She remained bemusing after him, still feeling the tears overflowing her eyes. Her hands cold and her heart pinching painfully. When the silhouette of Harry disappeared into the night, she turned around and walked towards her chambers to pick up Teddy and then to go find Severus and Charity. This was going to be a very long night indeed and she was certain that she was not going to get any sleep out of it.
******...******