Forgive Me All This

Chapter One

July 30th 2008

Greenlee sat at her desk at Fusion, pretending to work. All around her were her co-workers, talking about perfume and lipstick and product inventory. She was pretty sure she was making the right noises at the right time, and hadn't just agreed to Ava's lamebrain idea of naming their next perfume Garbage, but she couldn't be sure.

Her eyes kept moving to the clock on the wall. Aidan was probably at the airport already. His flight left in less than an hour. He'd get on board, fly to England, and then she'd probably never lay eyes on him again.

Which was fine with her. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Fine!

Greenlee bolted from her seat, grabbed her purse and ran to the elevator.

"Where's the fire?" asked Babe

"Yeah, seriously, slow down," said Amanda. "You almost knocked me over."

"I'll put hazard pay on your next check," snapped Greenlee, as she beat the elevator button. Never in her life had she longed to get in an elevator so bad. Usually she hated them with a ferocity that was only matched by how much she hated snakes, ugly shoes and being stuck in the dark.

"Can I get in on that?" asked Ava. "I got bumped."

"You already fleeced us out of a big enough contract, Cover girl. Forget about it," Kendall told her.

The elevator doors opened. Greenlee hurried inside. She turned around, stabbed at the button for the first floor and then her eyes connected with Kendall's.

Kendall said, softly, "Hope you catch him."

Greenlee eyes narrowed. "Do you? Really?"

The doors slid close.

XXXXXXXXX

Aidan sat in a seat in the airport, his bags at his feet. He let out a long sigh. His eyes were red rimmed with exhaustion and grief. Last night had been a bad one.

He thought that once he made up his mind to do this, and once he told Greenlee about it, that it would start to get easier. That'd he would finally feel a measure of relief.

At least he would know for sure it was over.

But the opposite happened. The full weight of the fact that he would never be able to hold her, kiss her, call her his again had crashed down on him as he tried to sleep last night. The memories bombarded him and he couldn't escape the sound of her laughter in his mind, the images of her smiling from invading his brain.

Damn it, he thought now. I love her..I will love her as long as I'm breathing and it doesn't change a thing. We're over.

"Flight 2098 to Italy boarding at Gate 10."

Aidan stood up and headed for the ticket counter. He had told everyone he was going home to England but that was a lie. All his thoughts about London now were filled with what he wanted to do with Greenlee, he couldn't face that city without her.

He'd catch up with an old military buddy and crash on his couch till he could pull his head together again. If that ever happened.

Aidan looked over his shoulder, hoping to see Greenlee running towards him, but their was nothing but the faces of strangers staring back at him.

"Bye, Greens," he said to the woman he wished was there.

XXXXXXXXX

She ran into the airport and found the list of Arrivals and Departures. There was a flight to London leaving in ten minutes. She ran to the counter and asked to buy a ticket.

"Its too late. That flight already boarded."

"I have to get on there. You don't understand. The man I ..I have to get on that flight! I'll pay anything. You have kids? I bet they could use a college fund, right? How about 100,000? Oh, fine. 200,000. Just get me on that plane. It's a matter of..well I don't know. Cause I'm not sure he loves me or I can forgive him but..I have to see him and ask him to stay. To try. To tell him I'm sorry. That I changed my mind. I changed my mind! Don't you get how big that is?"

The agent's face softened. He booked her on the flight and then made a call to hold the plane. "You better run."

Greenlee pulled off her heels, grabbed the ticket, and took off.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Aidan took a seat on the plane. His eyes wandered to look out the window. It was a clear day. The sky a bright healthy blue. Not like seven days before when he was on the beach with Greenlee.

That day it was raining. And she was pissed.

"I'm here. This better be good." She stomped toward him. "My hair is ruined! I look like a drowned rat."

"A cute drowned rat," he said with a shaky smile.

She glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Say whatever you called me out here to say before it starts lightening and you get us both killed."

Aidan peeled off his shirt. Her eyes widened. He held it over her head to keep the rain from hitting her. "Better?"

"It would be better to not be out in this storm."

"Yeah, but this is our place."

"How do you figure?"

"You fell for me here. When you found me after I was knocked out."

"I did not. I fell for you, stupidly I might add, at ConFusion when you were sitting there all pathetic and missing Di. Rebound fling. Destined to fail."

His eyes sunk into hers. He couldn't help but lose his breath at the sight of her staring up at him, with love and hurt and sadness looming in her gaze. They had fought nearly every time they spoke for the last few months but he wasn't about to give up on them. Not ever. He would keep begging and fighting and trying to show his love for her. Just the day before they were stuck in an elevator together at the hospital. To stop a panic attack, he pulled her into a kiss. Greenlee had moaned, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her body close as if her hunger for him would never be quenched.

It gave him hope.

And brought him out into the rain to ask her, one more time, to take a chance on him. "You weren't my rebound anything, Greens," he whispered.

"You were mine. I used you to get over Ryan. It worked. So thanks! See you around." Her words were cold, but her eyes filled with tears.

Aidan grabbed her wrist when she tried to walk away, gently pulling her back to him. "Not so fast. You didn't get your gift yet."

Her eyes lightened for a second. She was a sucker for presents. But then she spit out "Keep it. Give it to Kendall."

Aidan handed Greenlee his shirt, then got on one knee. "Nah, this is something I can only give you." He pulled a ring out of his pocket. "I know you hate me right now, but you also love me. And I have never loved anyone like I love you. I've never loved anyone..but you. I messed us up. I..broke your heart and my own. And it would serve me right if you hate me for life but see..even if you do..I'll love you for life. So I thought I should make it all legit and official, make sure you know where I stand, I want you to become my wife..one day..when you don't hate me quite so much. So, what do you say, honey.. what do you say.. he pushed out the words through a tear choked throat. "You wanna get hitched? One day..

She dropped to her knees, not saying a word. His hands rose, as the rain soaked them, and he caressed her face. Aidan leaned forward, his lips nearly brushing hers, until Greenlee whispered "Stop."

He froze. "Don't push me away again. I want us. I don't want Kendall."

"You sure as hell did want her when you thought I was dead, though, didn't you? You replaced me in a blink. And I..I've done the same to you."

His mind became fuzzy. He prayed he wasn't understanding her right.

Greenlee lied, "I slept with Zach..and I fell in love with him. See? You're replaceable too." She climbed back on her feet and started to walk off.

"So," Aidan asked, with tears streaming down his face. "Is that a no?"

She spun around. "What?"

"I asked you to marry me. Is that a no?"

"Yeah," she said tearfully "yeah, that's a no."

Sitting on the plane, Aidan covered his face with his hands. God, I have to get out of this town. If I can't have her, I can't stay here. I can't see her move on to someone else..I can't watch her love anyone but me.

He was sure, like he had been since the year before, that he was never gonna love anyone but Greenlee. She was his first, his first real love, and she would be his last.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Excuse me," Greenlee breathlessly asked a flight attendant as soon as she boarded the plane. "Wow. Okay. Give me a sec to catch my breath. Whoa. Have to work out more. Seriously."

The older woman stiffly told her, "You need to take a seat. This flight is already running late due to your late arrival."

"Sorry. I'll buy everyone a drink on me. But first you got to help me. I'm looking for a man."

"Aren't we all?"

"Most of the time, yeah. A good one, at least. I found one though and he's on this plane. Aidan Devane. Can you tell me what seat he's in?"

"No. That information is confidential and if you don't take a seat I'll have you removed from this flight. You can look for your friend once we are in the air and the seat belt sign goes off."

"I can't wait! This is my whole life on the line, lady. My whole life! You see he wants to marry me. And even though I sort of hate him and I sort of hate my best friend, who he slept with, and I sort of want to make them both suffer for years and years..I also love him. I really do. I love this man and he's about to move to London without me. We're supposed to see Big Ben together. I can't let him see it again without me standing by his side. So sorry, lady, but I got to do this." Greenlee hurried down the aisle yelling his name out. "Aidan! Aidan! Aidan Devane!"

She looked all around but couldn't find him.

It wasn't until later she learned he had never been on that flight. He went to Italy instead but she had no idea where he might be staying. His cell was disconnected. She thought of sending Tad to hunt him down but stopped herself.

If he really missed her, he would come back. If not..she didn't know what she'd do. Because life wasn't as sweet, as good, as right without him.

He wasn't replaceable. Not at all.