Chapter XXI

The Broken Sword (Part II)

Jay watched him pace with a touch of amusement… After all, they were the ones imprisoned, and yet Heero was the one acting like he was trapped in a cage. 'What have ye done to me?' the young captain asked finally and there was an edge of desperation to his voice that was alien and frightening. 'I slaughtered men without a second thought… And it helped. It numbed me. But now…'

'Ye feel even worse.' It was Lowe who spoke, his chin against his breast and a painful smile on his lips. 'T'was what I was trying to avoid…' he shook his head, fighting back a bitter bout of laughter. 'But it seems people can't be turned into weapons after all.'

'But they can!' the pegleg protested confidently. 'They can!' Heero halted in his pacing and Lowe raised his head, they watched the old man sceptically. 'This slaughter you conducted and the numbness it brought is the proof that we've succeeded. We've been able to forge the sword and sharpen it, but it broke before we could actually wield it… Ye must allow us to fix it.'

'And how do ye propose we do that? the Peacemillion's former captain turned to his cellmate with angry, disbelieving eyes. He had clearly had enough.

'That I do not know as of yet, but if I go back, if I discover where it was that things went wrong… Won't ye let us out of 'ere, lad? So we can think more comfortably?'

Heero's eyes narrowed a fraction. 'Nay.' He said resolutely. There was no way those two could help him… They had been the ones to do the damage in the first place, and it had taken them over a decade of apparently successful attempts to get there. Wherever, whenever things had gone wrong, he did not care and did not wish to know. What was done was done. It was the present he had to search for a solution, he was certain of it. 'Ye cannot help me.'

'But o' course we can, lad! It's only a little time we require… and a little comfort.'

The young captain shook his head with a frown. 'I don't know why I even come 'ere.' He confessed and turned away, climbing the stairs back up despite Jay's protests and reassurances that they would find a way and that he need only wait.

As he was half-way up the steps to the sleeping quarters, he heard voices and froze. They probably thought he was in his cabin.

'This isn't what I signed up for.' Quatre's tone was grave and his discomfort clear. There was also something Heero had never seen him display. Not after he'd taken over the captaincy, at least… Disgust.

'Well… As a strategist, you must admit it was the logical thing to do.' Dorothy tried to appease him. 'He was simply correcting past mistakes and leaving no witnesses.'

'No pirate – enemy or not – would've gone to the redcoats to tell on us.' It was Sally who cut in, her voice sharp as a knife. The captain wondered who else was present at their secret meeting. 'No a single man left alive? Completely unnecessary.'

'What does Chang think?' the blonde man questioned.

'He didn't say anything… But there's no way he agrees with it. Not even Maxwell seemed entirely comfortable and he kills gorily.'

'He's out of his mind.' Quatre said simply, and Heero knew he meant him. 'I don't know what those two snakes told him or did to him, but… The way he's coping with it just isn't right.'

'You don't think we can help him?' Dorothy asked still clearly trying to defend him. Heero fought the urge to snort at her and the idealistic view she had made of him.

'I don't think he'll accept help.' It was the medic who answered. 'He's as proud as Wufei.'

'And as stubborn.' The blonde man added hopelessly.

'Then what do you propose we do?'

The room was filled with silence and – even though he strained his ears – the captain could hear nothing. He waited with bated breath for their next words, but they turned out to be thoroughly disappointing. 'We should return to our posts.' Quatre said and the trio made their way back to the main deck.

Heero ran a hand through his hair. They might not yet know what they were going to do, but he did. He knew how it would end and he also knew how close that end was… It was as close as Tortuga.

XXX

'Would you take me to Tortuga?' Relena asked as she played with the napkin on her thighs, her eyes, however, betrayed nothing of her nerves as they met the captain's and her brother's in turn.

Treize looked thoughtful as he finished chewing and laid fork and knife down. He picked up his own napkin and dabbed at his lips. 'Tortuga's not part of out route.' He began, not confirming nor denying anything. Beside him, Lady Une smiled discreetly, trying to reassure the younger woman. Milliardo merely stared. 'No official dares dock there…'

'But I thought… Isn't hunting pirates, outlaws, your sole reason for sailing here?'

'Aye, but Tortuga's no place for us redcoats. We're severely outnumbered there and a fight would be inevitable… You'd have to disembark way off the coast, at night preferably, and we would have to wait for your escort to row you to the shore and then return to the ship. It would delay us… Significantly.'

There was a lengthy pause or so it seemed to Relena in her barely concealed anxiety. 'Does that mean…'

'We'll think about it, Ms Darlian, but I can't make any promises…'

'If only you'd spare a rowboat, Captain… I can row myself to shore.'

'And what if you're assaulted?' her brother cut in worried and displeased. 'Even if our men escorted you they'd only be able to take you as far as the pier. After that, you'd have to fend for yourself… Tortuga's a rottening den of inequity, teeming with lowlifes and all sorts of criminals.'

'I'm sure she can defend herself, Milliardo.' Lady Une interrupted him still smiling and Relena could see something of her honourable husband in her. 'But I'd be willing to accompany her if that would ease your conscience.'

'But, Lady…' both siblings were clearly horrified at the prospect, yet the fact that they had spoken in unison had them immediately falling silent.

The older woman chuckled. 'It's nothing.' She said. 'I'm a trained warrior and I'll rejoin you once Relena's found the ones she's looking for.'

'My lady…' Treize took her hand in his – overflowing with appreciation – and laid a kiss on the back of it. 'You astound me.'

She blushed lightly, but was otherwise unaffected by his public display of affection. 'What say you, Milliardo? Relena?'

'Lady Une, I could never…' the young woman started only to be silenced by a wave of her hand.

'Nonsense.' Une said. 'It shall be my pleasure to escort you.'

Milliardo had to fight back a sigh as all eyes turned to him. He sipped wine from his goblet. 'Is there even a choice left to be made here?'

'No. I do not think so.' Treize told him honestly and a smile bloomed on his lips.

XXX

Slowly, smoothly the Peacemillion came to a stop. The few people gathered at the docks barely seemed to notice her for most of them were just too drunk to care. Seagulls flew past their heads towards the horizon and Duo breathed out a sigh. 'Ah, Tortuga…'

'Come on, ye air-headed blabbermouth.' Howard gestured for him to follow as he made his way to the sleeping quarters. 'Let's split this booty so we can start spending it!'

'What 'm I gonna spend it on?' the braided man whined. 'Got a woman now…'

'Ye won't see me spending on strumpets either. Spend it on hooch! The lasses'll come by themselves once they realise you 'ave gold!'

'What's that 'bout lasses?' Hilde inquired suspiciously as she caught up to them at the top of the stairs.

'Nothing.' Duo said and pulled her closer as they started making their way down. 'I'd sure like to pillage yer booty…'

'What're ye up to, Duo Maxwell?' the black haired woman questioned raising an eyebrow at him.

'He's up to no good's what 'e is.' Howards warned her.

'Oy!'

But the braided pirate's protest ended before it had even begun for they reached the sleeping quarters and found most of the crew already assembled there. Chang sat on a barrel looking every bit like the captain he had always wanted to be and yet given up on being. Their actual captain stood beside him, his arms crossed and his expression unreadable. Quatre had joined the Maganacs near a stilt and the group seemed to be in deep discussion. Trowa and Sally merely stood expectantly, while Dorothy examined a gold statue taken off the large pile.

'Well…' the Chinese man's eyes fell on the three of them. 'Now that we're all here I think I should start.' He said to the man beside him though loud enough for everyone assembled to hear.

'Aye.' Heero agreed, uncrossing his arms. 'Rashid.'

'Captain.'

'How much gold were ye promised when ye joined the crew?'

'No more than the fair wages of deckhands and the certainty of seeing Master Quatre again.'

'Very well. Catalonia? I believe ye have done as I asked?'

'Aye, Captain.' The blonde woman stood up, grinning widely. She had been assigned the important task of estimating how much gold they had left, what it was worth and how much each member of the crew was due. 'Should I start dividing?'

He gave her a nod.

'Please, sack my share.' Quatre asked her quietly, bitterly… Resolutely.

'What d'ye mean, mate?' Duo turned to him with a confused frown. 'Where're ye taking it?'

'I'm taking it with me. We're leaving…' he motioned widely with his arm to include the Maganacs standing around him. 'We're taking the first ship back to Africa.'

'What?' the braided man seemed to be the most affected by the news. The captain and first mate looked like they had already been expecting that statement. 'Ye can't leave! We're a fellowship! We're the ones who stayed after Lowe "died"! All five of us!'

'If it's dismantling the company yer worried about then there's no need convincing Winner to stay for I'll be leaving also. One way or another.' Chang informed them all calmly, then tried to ignore the surprised looks he received by turning to Sally who was equally puzzled. 'I'm staying here in Tortuga… With Sally.'

The medic gapped as he smiled at her. 'But, Wufei…' she started, lowering her voice as if it would make their conversation a little more private. 'This is yer life!'

'Not anymore, it ain't. I'm ready to settle down, Sally. Not all pirates must die at sea.'

'Anyone else?' the captain questioned more matter-of-factly than as if he actually cared.

'Just gimme some gold so I can buy some rum, aye?' Howard turned to Dorothy who was still splitting the spoils. She paused for a moment, counted a few coins and handed them to him.

'There should be enough there to buy ye' a barrel. Or two… Or three.' She told him.

'Tavern's open, aye, Sally?'

'It should be.' she assured him, still slightly shaken by the Chinese man's revelation.

'Come, Duo. I'll treat ye.' Howard offered the braided man. 'Ye too, Hilde.'

'How can ye all be so calm when our crew's been cut in half? Heero, say something! Do something!'

'Ye may go with Howard.' The captain turned to Sally instead and to Wufei. 'I'll make sure yer shares are delivered to The Scroll and Talisman.'

Chang nodded at him. 'Let us be off then, Sally.'

'What 'bout yer belongings?' the doctor questioned, reluctant about leaving.

'I'm ready to leave.' He assured her, pushing off the barrel and taking a few steps in the direction of the stairs. 'Howard, ye coming?'

'Aye, aye.'

'Go with them, Maxwell.' Heero finally gave in and met the braided man's expecting and incredulously-wide gaze. 'We'll talk later.'

'Come on, Duo.' Hilde – sensing that staying would only upset Duo further – tugged at his wrist. 'Let's go.'

'We'll wait for you at the docks.' Rashid informed Quatre quietly and the Maganacs seized the opportunity to leave the Peacemillion. Dorothy had already handed them their pouches, jingling with coin.

'Don't ye want yers delivered as well?' the captain asked the blonde man. 'Surely ye'll be staying at the Scroll and Talisman 'til ye find a ship bound to Africa.'

'Heero… Would you, please, talk to me?' Quatre asked, trying to make the other man pay serious attention to him. He pretended to be listening, but the strategist knew better. When it came to personal matters Heero did all he could to dismiss any comments or questions.

'There is nothing to talk about. I won't stop ye from leaving, Winner, if that is indeed what ye wish to do.'

'It is.' He nodded, then shook his head. 'And it isn't. I can see you're wounded, deeply, and I understand you not knowing how to deal with it, but… You won't accept help! And I can't stand by and watch you massacre people.'

'It was not a massacre. Ask Maxwell, he was there.'

'Yes, and he said you killed men even after they'd surrendered. This isn't what we do… It isn't who we are. It's never been.'

'Ye never wanted to be a pirate.' The captain spat back at him.

'No. I didn't. But that was because I thought all pirates were like Lowe… Then I learned better. You taught me better.' Quatre shook his head sadly when the other man snorted. 'I guess I'll wait for my gold at the tavern after all… Dorothy? What will you do?'

'Oh… I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, but I'll see you at the tavern in a bit.' She waved him along, her attention focused on the task at hand. The sparkling of the gold fascinated her, but also did their tormented captain and his upcoming confrontation with Barton. She was certain there must be a reason why the lookout, who never questioned anything the man did, had stayed behind.

Quatre bid his farewells and left. Dorothy kept rummaging through the treasure, splitting it in equal parts and sacking the shares of those who would be leaving. Trowa – who was squatting by one of the hammocks, playing with the cat – raised his eyes to Heero. The captain leaned back against the barrel where Chang had been sitting earlier, his arms crossed. The blonde woman could see he was pretending, quite effortlessly not to have noticed the other man's stare.

'Heero…' the lookout finally gave up and cleared his throat.

'If ye wish to leave, Barton, just do it. There's no need for speeches. Yer gold will be sent to the tavern and ye may take Shadow with ye.'

'That's not what I…' Trowa paused, listening until the very end of the other man's speech before resuming. 'I ain't leaving.' He said. 'But I agree with Quatre. This isn't who we are. This rampageous killing, this detachment… Ever since Lowe's "death" we've been a close crew, always following our own code, always doing what we felt was best. I just wish things had remained that way.' Heero said nothing, but then no one expected him to. 'I'll be heading to the Scroll now… I'll see ye later.'

Dorothy continued digging throught the treasure. She did not bother telling the captain it was all rightfully hers since it had all once belonged to her grandfather. She did not think he would agree with her and he had not been prone to defending his views with mere words since they had been arrested. The cutlass and the pistol, each tucked in one side of his sash, immediately reminded her it was best not to argue with him. He did not care for her half as much as he did any of the others.

'So?' it was Heero who broke the silence, surprisingly, petting the cat that had jumped on the barrel behind him. 'I don't believe what ye' told, Winner.'

'Ah…' she feigned confusion, buying herself some time to think. He was not fooled. 'About what I'm going to do? Whether I'll leave or stay?'

'Aye.'

'Mmm…'

'We both know ye already have an answer to those questions.'

'What is it to you?' Dorothy could not resist teasing him, a smirk on her lips. 'Want to know how many hands you've left so you can plan ahead? Or is it just that you're going to miss me?'

'Neither. I'm merely curious.' His eyes narrowed at her. She could feel them burning holes on her back as she resumed meddling with the gold. 'Extremely so.'

'I'll be joining Quatre.' She told him honestly. 'Wherever he decides to go… Though I still hope he might decide to stay. I'll certainly try to convince him… Will ye find us in Africa if we end up sailing that way?'

'Nay.'

'I'm done.' Dorothy stood up, looking at the assembled sacks and ignoring the captain's negative. 'We won't be able to carry all of these by ourselves.'

'It's too risky to hire strangers… Tell Winner and the others to come collect them by the morrow.' That being said he took the steps up to the main deck. She watched him leave and wondered – for the first time in a long time – if maybe Relena was not on her way to save Heero from himself and help her convince Quatre that things could still go back to the way they had been.

XXX

As Une helped her up onto the pier Relena could not help throwing Libra one last glance. The lanterns on her upper decks were nothing but tiny dots of light in the distant darkness. She wondered if she would ever see her brother again… He had said she would always be welcome in his home so she planned to visit, she wanted to.

'Where should we start looking?' she wondered aloud finally turning away from the sea and towards the older woman, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head.

'It's too dark now. We'll search for the Peacemillion come morrow. Besides… We can make some inquiries at the tavern. That should simplify things for us.'

'You know any taverns around here?' Relena asked anxiously. As hard as she tried, she could not recall the way to Sally's tavern or even its name. She had only been there a handful of times after all and always escorted by someone who knew the streets and alleys better than she did.

'There's a place they call the Scroll and Talisman… I heard it is the least indecent tavern in the entire island.'

'That's the one!'

'The one?' Une sent a puzzled look over her shoulder though her face was barely visible under her own hood.

'It has to be!' the young woman continued, picking up her pace even though she did not know the way, especially not in the dark under the light of the torches scarcely spread around the streets. 'Sally Po's tavern. The tavern where we used to go when we were in Tortuga.'

'I don't know the owner's name…' the older woman told her honestly. 'But I'm sure someone will know her where we're going. Everyone knows everyone in Tortuga.'

They threaded through the soaked sandy streets, zig-zagging between puddles and carefully avoiding shadier, narrower paths and unfriendly looking characters. Despite being loaded with lowlives and all sorts of felons, Tortuga had its own cheerful-drunk, sort of peaceful atmosphere and chaotic organization. There were brawls going on in front of some taverns, inns and pubs, but hardly any blood was spilt and the abundance of working ladies seemed to make the men less prone to attacking the unwilling lasses.

Une and Relena felt relatively safer by the time they reached the Scroll and Talisman so they wandered in without a thought and it was only thanks to the older woman's quick reflexes that they were able to avoid getting hit by a flying chair. They fell on the floor as it hit the doorframe and pieces of wood and splinters rained over them. Barely daring to lift their heads they gazed upon the chaos that had become the inside of the tavern.

Tables had been flipped over, candles rolled on the liquor wet floor, drunkards tripped on mugs and tankards as they tried to run away and others launched those same mugs and tankards at one another. Most resorted to punches though and a few were rolling on the floor tearing at each others' throats. Relena gapped at the scene. There was no possible way Sally could have stood by such madness… Perhaps they had not made it back yet? But why? Could something have happened?

No. It could not have.

'We should leave.' Une told her. 'This is certainly the wrong tavern.'

'No. It isn't. They have to be here. I must find Sally.' And before the other woman could stop her, Relena crawled away, leaving only her burdensome cloak behind.

She picked her way through the fallen furniture, trying to stay as close as she could to the walls as her eyes roamed through the ruckus in search of familiar faces. They found none. Still, Relena refused to give up hope and continued making her way to the counter. A shot rang through the tavern just as she reached it and Relena instinctively jumped behind it, taking cover.

From the entrance came a torrent of loud nasty expletives, clearly a very pissed off woman and the young lady peeked through the lined up mugs and bottles in time to see the proprietress herself lowering her gun. 'Where's Wufei?' Silence reigned in the tavern for a moment before men started mumbling apologies and giving excuses. Relena noticed how humble they sounded and how they called the blonde woman 'Miss Sally' with the utmost respect. They even offered to help clean up the mess. 'Ye bet ye will!' was Sally's answer. She sent the ruffians warning glares as she crossed the saloon until she spotted the woman standing behind the counter and froze, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. 'Lena?'

Relena could not speak past the wide grin that had split her face so she merely nodded. Sally crossed the distance between them with long fats strides, the joy in her every gesture was obvious and she immediately enveloped the other woman in a relief-filled hug. 'You're not angry with me?' came, after a moment, the quiet question.

'Angry? What for? Of course, I ain't angry. Oh, but it is so good to see ye!' she paused and glared at her curious customers. 'Mind yer own businesses and make sure this tavern's looking like new or ye won't be welcome 'ere ever again! Ye hear me, ye scoundrels?' then she turned back to Relena. 'Have ye talked to Heero yet?'

The young lady's expression grew sombre at that. 'No, I haven't… And I'm afraid to, Sally. I… I never meant to stay in England! I was on my way to meet you when Jay appeared!'

'Jay?' the medic frowned. 'So this is all their doing after all… We should've known…' she shook her head bitterly. 'But then how could we? We woul've never expected ye to choose us over the princely life ye led…'

'It's not your fault.' Relena too shook her head, regretfully, then bit her lip, meeting the other woman's eyes with a painful gaze. 'Does he… Does he hate me?'

Sally sighed deeply and started putting away empty bottles. 'It's hard to tell with Heero, but… I went to the brig to check on Jay and Lowe, our two prisoners, one day – out of me obligation as a healer, of course – and I heard them call him a "broken sword"… I think they're trying to find a way to "repair" him or maybe just convince him that they can so he'll let them go. I do not know…'

'Did he seem broken to you?' it was a reluctant question and it earned Relena a reluctant answer.

'He's… changed. Definitely. Though I wouldn't say he's broken…' Sally's hesitation was visible.

'Tell me. I can handle it.'

'I ain't saying it's entirely yer fault, Lena. Lowe also whispered all sorts of things in his ear, I'm sure. Until we mutinied, that is, and had 'im and Jay arrested.' She paused again, thoughtful and uncomfortable, hurriedly busying herself by wipping the counter. 'He's like a wounded beast. And like all wounded beasts he's become unstable… Violent, suicidal…'

Relena's voice caught in her throat, but she refused to let herself cry. She would deal with it, she would undo the damage she had done. 'Would you… Tell me what happened? Everything? From the moment you were arrested?'

'Of course! As soon as I find Wufei…' her eyes narrowed as she growled the Chinese man's name under her breath. 'It's the second time! He starts these idiotic brawls and then vanishes out of thin air! As childish as men go…'

'Ah, Sally? There's one more thing…'

'What, dear?'

She pointed to a hooded figure standing by the entrance, watching them carefully. 'There's someone I'd like you to meet…'

XXX

Heero watched the sunrise from the quarter deck. Contrary to most coastal towns, Tortuga was much more active during the night than during the day and the early morning hours were blessed with peaceful silence. He breathed in the salty sea breeze, still unable to conjure up forces to go looking for new deckhands. They had been hiding long enough and even though his remaining crewmembers did not seem bothered by the stagnation, it was gnawing at him… He paced the decks day and night not knowing where to go or what to do, but feeling the desperate need to set sail. It even occurred to him at a point to abandon the Peacemillion, leave the past behind, purchase a smaller ship and sail off to nowhere. Disappear. Forever.

There was a moment in which he even contemplated setting the ship on fire. He was afraid of himself then and decided – if the impulse was stronger than his will – he would burn right down with her. Lowe and Jay would perish as well. He was already letting them starve after all… Heero just could no longer stand their speeches, their excuses, their bound-to-fail plans to fix him. He had come to terms with his situation and resigned himself to becoming…

'Will you end up like your father?' her voice was strong, filled with scepticism and a bitter kind of anger. It made his heart stop and his blood heat up. He closed his eyes, slowly regaining composure.

'Maybe.' He lied, then decided to rectify. 'Probably.'

Though he did not turn to look at her, he knew she was close. He felt her presence only a few steps behind him and wondered briefly how she had managed to sneak up on him. 'Is that what you want?' she continued, her voice cracking lightly.

'Right now?'

'Aye.' Relena said, like a true pirate, and he could have laughd at the irony. To him, she was anything but. To him she was…

She pressed on.

'Right now.'

'I want…'

He wanted her. He wanted to take her violently, to unload on her all his pain, his anger and frustration. He wanted…

'I want you to forgive me.' She cut in, unable to wait for his answer, and her voice finally cracked completely. 'I want you to take me back, Heero. Please.'

'Take ye back?' he snorted, however lightly, and found himself unable to be as angry at her as he had been during the voyage from England.

'I heard you're in need of hands.' She applied to logic. It was ridiculous how well she knew him.

'Aye…' he conceded and yet she could not finish her reasoning.

'It wasn't my fault, Heero! I was on my way! I was almost there, almost with you, but Jay…' Relena grew desperate with each passing word.

'It doesn't matter.' That rendered her mute. It really did not matter anymore, but Heero noted down the information in his head anyways… He would find out what the pegleg had done to her, what Lowe had allowed him to do to her and he would make them pay. He would make them pay dearly, for his rage, at that moment, was so great he was barely able to keep it under restraint, to keep it locked up within him so he could finish that most important of confrontations.

'Will you take me back? Let me stay?'

He took a deep breath and turned around. She still looked every bit as he remembered her. Dark blonde hair partially tied back, kind determined eyes, soft lips and a petite figure that belied the sharp togue and extremely strong will underneath. The tear stains on her cheeks did not spoil the effect at all. She was a force to be dealt with. 'Nay.' He said and turned back away. It was unbearable to stare at her so, to watch her cry.

'But…' she stepped forward, reached out. He could hear and sense her every movement so he waited, but her hand never touched him. 'I love you.'

He had known she did and he also knew how he felt about her, he had thought about it plenty since they had parted and the inevitable conclusion had come both as a shock and a realization for him. 'That's exactly why.'

It took Relena a moment to speak. 'Does that mean you do not love me?' her voice was so soft, had he not been expecting that question, he would have certainly misheard it.

'I do.' He confessed and he could have laughed bitterly at it. 'I do love you.' Her intake of breath sent a pang through his heart, so he resumed before she could touch him because he was not sure he'd be able to resist her if she did. 'But I cannot. I should not. This… This feeling has broken me. It has given ye such power over me that yer absence nearly destroyed me. I cannot… I will not go through that again.'

'A broken sword…' she whispered Jay's words, surprising him, and yet he could tell by her voice that she had broken as well. 'No… A broken heart.'

'Go home, Relena.' Heero's voice was quiet, gentle even.

'No.' came the resolute answer.

He should have known.

Suddenly too tired to stop himself, he sighed. 'Relena…'

'No.' she repeated and he could hear the tears amidst her reluctance and stubbornness. 'I won't go home. This ship is my home and I will keep coming and I will keep asking… Everyday. Until you say "aye".'

The Peacemillion's captain said nothing, merely walked further away until he stood at his cabin's door. He pushed it open. As he crossed the threshold and stepped out of her earshot he let the words escape him. 'So be it.'