Okay. Hi! Anyone still wanna read this? Okay, yeah. I didn't think so. XD

I went back, and picked a random chapter. If I liked it, I decided I'd start writing 21. If I didn't, I decided I'd write something else. I got 18, which I then remembered while I read was one of my favorite parts(The beginning of the chapter). Happy January day! XD
Then I realized I really don't know what to do with the plot... So I did this!

I also wanted to change the genre to humor(Because the whole thing is a joke...)then I realized it was also drama and angst and tragedy in most places...^^;

Just paint the picture of a perfect place
They got it better than what anyone's told you
They'll be the King of Hearts, and you're the Queen of Spades
Then we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers

All the Right Moves, One Republic

Chapter 21 -Waking Up

Roy coughed a loud, dry hack, sitting up weakly in his hospital bed. There was a vase of flowers on his bedside table. A card was attached, and he saw a C. 'Mom.' He thought, groaning. His mother was the last one he wanted to know about that embarrassing moment. A light whooshing noise was breaking the silence of the hospital, and Roy looked to his left, over a cold tray of rubbery eggs and brick-hard toast.

"Havoc! Havoc, get the hell up. Why are you sleeping in here?" The yellow-haired man woke with a start, a dumb grin spreading on his face.

"Roy! Hey, doc! He's awake!"

The doctors rushed in, and asked Roy how much he remembered, what year it was, and a few personal questions. He quickly found out a woman that wasn't his wife(The doctors made a big point of that), Riza Hawkeye, had come in with a dog and Elicia Hughes. She'd been swiftly kicked out, the child sent home, and he'd been rushed to the ER for a stomach pumping and then fell into a coma. Riza had told the entire world(Well, the parts that cared) that he had had a stressful day, had one or two drinks at a pub(She was careful not to say where) and she'd found him sleeping on a park bench. His 'drink had been drugged with a killer poison, but they'd caught it in time to not cause serious damage'. Everyone not in the medical field didn't know enough to discredit this, and Riza had personally had some of her own money and his used to pay off the doctors and nurses at the clinic.

"...She did that so I could keep my reputation?" Roy asked, looking away, incredulous.

"Yeah, boss, she really seemed to care a lot. It was hell for her, too. Tons of reporters knocking down her door, asking why she did it, if she was the one that 'poisoned' you, all sorts of stuff. She's got a flu right now, we've had to do your work for the past week while you've been in here. It's rough when Hawkeye gets called out." Havoc grinned, sticking an illegal cigarette in his teeth and pulling out a lighter. Most of the time the nurses didn't catch him, but Roy didn't stand for it and smacked it away before he could get it lit. Havoc frowned briefly, but then went to a phone to call the office about the good news.

Roy yawned, bored. Hawkeye was always getting sent here; why? She never managed to die, obviously someone needed her around.

'Me. I need her around.' He thought. A couple of footsteps not too far away got Roy hiding under his blanket, fearing his mother's heavy feet walking through the door. He was surprised to see it was Riza in civilian clothes, shaking the water from her hands.

"Oh, look. Sleeping Ugly wakes." She sneered. Her voice was thick with discontent, but it sounded as if it masked something else. Roy winced; he understood why she'd gotten upset at that. When you weren't happy you weren't exactly in the mood for insults. Especially if you didn't know if they meant it or not.

'But I never meant mine... well, at least, not after a while...'

"Hello, Lieutenant. Kind of you to cover for me."

"It was your money, sir. I put forward about a hundred bucks. Ashley just drew some money from your account; did you know she knows your password?" Riza smirked. "Really? 'Thehottestmanalive'? How stupid." She sniffed, and Roy remembered that Havoc told him she was sick.

"The insults just keep coming with you, huh?" He asked, a little put down.

"I would hate to disappoint you." She sat on the chair and crossed her legs. The body language screamed snarkiness.

"Why?" He asked, turning to face her.

Her mouth dropped a bit, ready with a response, then closed."...I don't know." It was quiet for a moment. Each sentence seemed to take minutes to get out.

"Lieutenant, why did you freak out the other night?"

"I don't like when people tell me not to cry. If I want to cry, I'm gonna." He could tel lthere was more, but she didn't want to go into it. Roy assumed it was something to do with her stepfather.

"Why?"

"...Stop asking me questions I can't answer."

"Stop being difficult."

"Me? I'm being difficult?" Her tone raised, and Roy got a suspicious fear that it would turn ugly quickly.

Roy stopped the topic, and searched for a new one. "How's the new dog?"

"Fine, I guess." Riza settled back into her seat. she seemed a bit surprised that Roy hadn't continued.

"What's his name?"

"The officer that gave him to me named him Kimu."

"Hm." 'So an officer gave her a dog. I could've done that...well, I guess she probably didn't exactly want a dog...'

It got silent for a little while, as they stared at each other awkwardly. Roy twiddled his thumbs, asking tedious questions like where his gloves went, why she'd come to his apartment. Riza answered quietly, picking at the bottom of her shirt. Riza told him that he still had a good reputation, that her plans had come through. She'd been doing what paperwork she could for him while he was laid up. She said her father was officially declared criminally insane, but she'd gone to visit him. He'd managed to off himself in some weird way, which caused Riza to go even more quiet.

He wanted to say something about the hundred thousand, but after that night, he knew it really wasn't in her thoughts. But something bigger bothered him. Something wasn't right about this whole situation.

"Lieutenant?" He was staring out the window now, watching a few birds in a nest. It was spring, and they were feeding some chicks.

"Is this another stupid question, Roy?" She muttered, pulling her attention from the frayed edge of her fitted shirt.

"I don't think so." He said sincerely. Obviously she didn't believe him, because Riza groaned, and they could both hear Havoc in the hallway, getting closer. He suddenly turned, his footsteps getting less loud. Roy looked up at Riza again.

"When did you decide you cared?"

Riza gave him a surprised look, and walked over to him, her hands twitching a bit, causing Roy to brace himself for the inevitable SMACK of her hand on his face. Instead, she planted a little, light kiss on his lips, brushing a bit of hair off his forehead. Roy smiled slightly as she drew away, feeling the very unfamiliar sensation of butterflies in his stomach. Her smile said a lot to Roy, and he returned it, conveying the same feeling to Riza. She opened her mouth, still grinning.

"Does it really matter?"

D'aawww, (short) happy ending. End of story. ;D