Day 21: Attack's Aftermath and Akashi's Confrontation

Summary: The Sequel to Day 19: Bruises and a Lover's Rage. 1 month after Kuroko was brutally attacked, he isn't like himself. Much quieter and isn't giving or accepting any physical affection. A warning flag to Akashi, he finally decides to confront Kuroko about his behavior, revealing bottled up emotions that he doesn't expect.

Notes before reading: This is the awaited sequel to Day 19: Bruises and a Lover's Rage so it's highly recommended, though not necessarily required, that you read Day 19 first before reading this one.

There was something wrong with Kuroko, Akashi could see it from a mile away.

It had been a month since Kuroko was brutally attacked by those damn thugs and Akashi's blood still continued to boil just at the thought of them. He remembers seeing Kuroko's injuries, it pained him just by looking at his lover and he couldn't even fathom why someone would want to hurt him? Kuroko may as well be an angel from heaven, that kind smile could make even the hardest heart soften, however it appears that that wasn't the case after all.

Kuroko had been very quiet about the issue, something that very much bothered the redhead. This wasn't something that happened every single day and Akashi was his significant other. Kuroko should know that Akashi is there for him when he needs it the most. That he can be the shoulder to cry on, to vent out all of his insecurities to, and to ease his pain, whether it be physical, mental or psychological.

However Kuroko wasn't doing that. Akashi understands if he needs some time before he can truly open up, but this was affecting his everyday life.

According to his observations in the last month, though the physical bruises, his black eye and the cuts have all healed and faded away, the emotional scars still remain. Ever since the attack, Kuroko became quieter, only speaking when he was spoken to. He also didn't give out as much physical affection as usual, and when Akashi would try to kiss him or even touch him, he would either flinch back or stiffen at first before accepting the affection. He's never done this before and Akashi knows that it's serious.

As much as he wants Kuroko to come to him when he's ready, this is something that he really needs to confront as soon as possible.

It's 10:30pm and the two of them are on the couch, Kuroko reading another one of his novels and Akashi flipping through TV channels, a quiet night for the two of them before they prepare to go to bed.

However, Akashi was going to change that, when he suddenly turned the television off and turned his head towards Kuroko, whose face was still planted in the novel.

"My love?"

Kuroko doesn't move, his baby blue eyes continue to scan the words etched into each page, seemingly ignoring the redhead.

He tried again, "Kuroko? Are you listening to me?" he asked, this time placing a comforting hand on his lover's shoulder.

Kuroko flinched back at his lover's touch and Akashi wasn't sure what to think of that. He flinched away again. He could understand if it was a stranger, but this is his lover that he's reacting to like this.

Now Akashi can't help the words that stream from his lips. "Kuroko, I understand if you weren't expecting my touch, but do understand that I won't hurt you. There's no reason for you to act that way around me."

Now Kuroko closed his novel, placing it on the couch next to him. His baby blue eyes stared at the ground, refusing to look at Akashi.

"Kuroko. Look at me."

Still he didn't move. He didn't want to cause Kuroko more fright so he stood up and took a few steps so that he was in front of Kuroko. He knelt in front of him so that he was eye level with him…well Kuroko's head was a little above Akashi's but it was close enough.

Kuroko barely reacted, only blinking and his gaze to the floor unwavering. However, Akashi's overly analytic eyes could easily perceive that Kuroko's stern façade was breaking.

His crimson eyes softened. He was walking on thin ice, and he didn't want to cause Kuroko any more harm so the redhead began to speak in a softer tone, contrary to his more stern tone he had before.

"Love, I know that this month has been hard on you, but I don't want you to keep everything inside. You can talk to me, I'm here for you," he smiled, desperately wanting to touch him, caress his cheek, hold his hand, something, but Akashi didn't want Kuroko to have the same reaction that he had earlier.

It appeared that Kuroko wasn't going to speak, before the faintest of whispers could be heard; Akashi would've missed had he not been paying full attention to his lover.

"I'm sorry…Akashi-kun," Kuroko whispered softly, his body beginning to shake. Akashi merely watched in astonishment. Why was he apologizing? And with the way that his body was beginning to shake, it seemed evident that he was about to cry. But why?

"Kuroko, why are you apologizing? There's no need for you to do that," Akashi reassured.

"But there is!" Kuroko retorted, clenching his fists and tears threatening to pour. Akashi was completely taken aback by the outburst. It was so much unlike Kuroko to do such a thing.

"...Then could you tell me what you're apologizing for?" he questioned. He had no idea that there was any reason to apologize in the 1st place. The attack wasn't his fault, nor was his behavior the past month worth needing to be apologetic for.

Kuroko's body quivered, it reminded Akashi of shaking a soda can and then threatening to open the cap, releasing all of its contents in a harsh burst.

"I'm sorry, that I was weak…"

Akashi blinked in confusion. "Wait, Kuroko you weren't-"

"Let me finish Akashi-kun!" Kuroko snapped, his hands clawed at the jeans he was wearing in a vice grip, tears droplets hitting the back of his hand. Akashi wanted to respond, but he became silent, allowing Kuroko to continue.

To which he did. "I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fend those guys off. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to protect myself. I'm sorry that I didn't try hard enough. I'm sorry that I worried you so much. I'm so sorry that all of this happened!" His voice grew louder and louder with each apology, until he was practically shouting by the last one.

Kuroko took a shaky breath before continuing once again, "I know what you're thinking. You were furious that I got attacked. But deep down, you must have been filled with shame that I wasn't strong enough, disappointed that I failed to protect myself, and even disgusted that I didn't try hard enough…" his voice trailed off like a decrescendo, the only sound echoing through the living room being the soft sobs escaping Kuroko's lips.

Akashi was left in pure shock. Those apologies, they didn't make any sense. These things that he was apologizing for…they were for things that he couldn't control. If anything, it sounded like Kuroko was beating himself down more than he should. But that was so much unlike him. Kuroko was more strong willed than this. He wouldn't beat himself down for things that he couldn't control. Perhaps Kuroko had a more vulnerable side that he hasn't shown anyone before, not even to Akashi.

And why was Kuroko attempting to dictate his emotions? That didn't make any sense. Why would he ever feel shame or disappointed in Kuroko regarding that attack? Why the hell would he be disgusted that he "wasn't trying hard enough?" That made absolutely no sense to the redhead. The last emotion that he would have after hearing about Kuroko's attack would be disgust. Just why would his lover ever think like that?

He didn't want to sound too bewildered, so instead, he masked his shock with his trademark princely smile and began to speak to his sobbing beloved.

"Did you get a head injury I wasn't aware of?"

Kuroko blinked, wiping the tears from his eyes and slowly moved his gaze towards Akashi's, pure shock in his expression. Akashi merely stared back at him, the soft smile still adorning his face.

"There's no need for you to apologize about that at all," he stated, slowly taking his hands and placing one on top of Kuroko's, and the other to gently caress his cheek. This time, Kuroko didn't flinch and his only reaction was a slow blink of his eyes.

Akashi continued, "Listen to me, what you went through a month ago was completely against you. Three large, strong men against you alone with you losing does not mean that you are weak. Thinking that you could have been strong enough, that you could've tried hard enough, thinking that you could completely protect yourself is all out of the question. You're only beating yourself down more than you need to when you think things like that."

He leaned forward, kissing away Kuroko's tears and gently squeezing Kuroko's hand. Kuroko sniffled but otherwise remained silent.

"You said that I would be disappointed, ashamed and even disgusted because of it, right? Do I look disappointed, ashamed or disgusted to you?" he leaned back, allowing Kuroko to examine his facial expression. Baby blue hues gazed directly at his lover, and Akashi could see in the reflection of his significant other's eyes that he was smiling the most loving of smiles. His crimson eyes were soft and loving and he just plain looked very relaxed and content, despite the serious conversation they were having. But Akashi knew that Kuroko needed to see this. He needed to see the proof that Akashi was not a heartless critic, he was his lover, his support and his shoulder to cry on.

It took a moment, but Kuroko softly shook his head, sniffling a little bit not otherwise remaining silent. Akashi took that as a no and his smile grew just a tad.

"No, I'm not. I would never feel ashamed, I would never be disappointed in you and I especially would never feel disgusted. It's true that I was angry when I first saw you, and it was because someone had hurt you, and I never want to see you in pain, love. If a situation like that happens again, the only thing I care about is your well-being, and that you'll be alright, whether that pain be physical or emotional."

He stroked the phantom's hand. Kuroko chewed on his bottom lip, the words of his lover probably beginning to sink in. Kuroko needs to know that his fears would never come to be, Akashi was a better man than that and he wants to make sure that Kuroko knows that he's loved and cared for, regardless of his performance during that unfair match.

Akashi leans closer once again, this time to plant a soft and gentle chaste kiss on his lover's lips, one hand continuing to stroke his lover's, and his other hand reaches forward to gently pet Kuroko's soft, sky blue locks. Kuroko returns the kiss, baby blue orbs closing peacefully, seemingly sighing into the kiss.

The two of them stayed like that for a full minute, just enjoying the warm closeness of the other before pulling away, Kuroko's face appearing apologetic and Akashi's soft and loving.

"Akashi-kun, I'm sorry for thinking like that. I didn't mean to worry you," he whispered, his gaze moving towards their hands, adjusting his own so that the two of them were now holding hands.

Akashi's hand still in his lover's hair tucked a lock behind Kuroko's ear affectionately. "It's alright. Just remember what I told you, okay? I love you and I'll always care about you, love."

"I love you too, Akashi-kun, and I will. I promise," Kuroko smiled for the 1st time in over a month, and Akashi couldn't be more overjoyed. His lover was happy again, accepting his affection once again, and even giving him physical affection in return. It seems that pre-attack Kuroko has returned.

This is all that Akashi cared about. Though when you push his buttons, he may swear words of revenge, that's not his top priority. Protecting and caring for Kuroko was his top priority. And if Kuroko were to ever be in pain, he would be there to take it away, no matter if the bruises and scars were on the inside or the outside.

Notes: Reviews, critique and so forth is welcomed and appreciated! :)