Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters, I do however own/co-own Milly, Lacey, Tina and all others you do not know

A/N: So this one's basically all humor. As you can tell by the title. :P

Stalking John Winchester

Milly, Lacey and Tina were in green, camo clothes, and sitting in a tree with binoculars and a laptop. While Tina operated the laptop, Lacey kept a check on the listening equipment, and Milly operated the binoculars.

"Nothing out of the ordinary yet." Milly said, smirking through her lipgloss. "Take it off...take it all off, baby."

"What is wrong with you?" Lacey asked.

"He's getting into the shower." Milly told them. "It's freaking sexy. Have you seen his pecks?"

"How could we when you have the binoculars and we didn't put cameras in the bathroom?" Tina asked. "Why can't I operate those anyways? I love him more!"

"I'm oldest, I call dibs." Milly said, and then she giggled. "That's right...take it off..."

"Slut." Tina coughed.

"What else am I supposed to do? Just watch and pretend it doesn't turn me on?" Milly asked.

Lacey laughed. "Or you can switch tasks with me...and I can make sure he's doing the whole shower thing right."

Milly put the binoculars down for a second and looked at Lacey.

"Not a chance." She said and put the binoculars back up to her eyes and then she sighed. "I missed the pants coming off and him getting into the shower."

"Now's the time to focus on how to get out of this tree...so we can get in there and actually see him naked." Tina said.

"You know if you'd handed the binoculars over instead of trying to make a witty remark, I could have actually seen him get his pants off." Lacey told Milly. "There is something wrong with you...up here."

Milly shrugged as Lacey pointing to her head. "Keeps me young."

"Let's get on in and look around--steal some boxers." Tina said, shutting the laptop. "Seriously...we have very little time before he gets out of the shower."

Lacey shook her head. "Last time Milly and I stalked him, he knew we were doing it."

"It's not my fault you fell over when we got in the window!" Milly protested.

Lacey shot her a look. "He said our names from downstairs, it caught me off guard and then I fell in the window."

Milly nodded. "Oh yeah...right. Then he made as cocoa."

"Was he naked while he made the cocoa?" Tina asked hopefully.

Lacey shook her head. "Sadly...no."

"Oh let's go in anyways. If we get in there fast enough, we can catch him coming out of the shower." Milly said.

"That's the first news I've heard all night!" Tina exclaimed, and Lacey shushed her quickly. "But are you absolutely sure that we can?"

Lacey nodded. "Yeah--Sam's at a study group."

Milly nodded too. "Yeah--Dean's out with some shop class guys he met at school. We're totally good to go."

Milly and Lacey started getting out of the tree first, Milly getting down the ground the quickest, brushing off her camo tank and her tight camo pants, fixing her rather stylish Barrette. Lacey was in looser camo pants, with a white shirt under a camo sweatshirt and her hair was pulled back with a green barrette, while Tina was in a long sleeved camo shirt and camo sweatpants, her hair in a neat bun at the base of her neck, some curls hanging out in front of her face, while Milly's hair was out and wavy under the hat, Lacey's hair straight and manageable in a very stylish high ponytail.

"We're seriously going in?" Lacey asked. "What if he grabs us by the ear?"

"It is what he does...maybe we should give up." Tina said.

"It's not like we haven't been in there before." Milly told them. "I'm ashamed anyways! There is a hot, wet, naked man in there! And not just any hot, wet, naked man! Who doesn't wanna see naked John Winchester with water dripping down him?!"

Lacey and Tina's faces lit up, and then they grinned a little as Milly smiled.

"Exactly. Let's go." Milly said.

"Fine, but can we do it the spy way and split up and then meet up?" Lacey pleaded. "This is the most fun I've had in weeks."

"Well it's up there for me...Dean and I had a whole lot of fun yesterday." Milly said with a smirk.

Tina shrugged. "This is by far the funnest thing I've done all week. Amanda actually tried to convert me into the clique yesterday."

"That dirty bitch!" Lacey exclaimed.

Milly laughed. "Wow...I didn't realize you hated Amanda so much."

"No? Every time I leave Sammy alone she tries to grope him. I'm gonna freaking kill her." Lacey replied.

Tina smiled. "Let's fill this moment of fury with the thoughts of naked John coming out and freezing in astonishment that we made it into his bathroom without him knowing. Longer for us to stare at him."

"That image is so beautiful." Lacey said with a smile, over-dramatizing the line a little with a squeal.

Milly nodded. "Well we won't see anything if we don't hurry--what guy do you know that takes a shower longer than twenty minutes?"

In response, the girls hurried into the house, making sure that no one was watching them sneak in. When they got inside, they split up, Lacey taking the downstairs, Tina taking the basement, and Milly going upstairs.

In the basement, Tina looked around for any fun trinkets she could steal to put on her dresser. Old photos, hunting trinkets--anything. She just wanted a piece of John to be in her room always and forever. Unfortunately, she found pretty much nothing--just a dank, musty basement with rats. One scuttled by her, making her let out a gasp, but she was not about to let John hear her, so no sound escaped her lips.

Lacey, however, was having even less adventure on the bottom floor. She'd seen it all before, and wished she'd beaten Milly out of getting to choose who went where. The shower and bedrooms were upstairs so how was she going to get her boxers? How was she going to get to see John naked? Oh she was going upstairs.

"This is Mad Dog to Princess. Do you copy? Over." Tina said to Lacey from the basement.

"This is Princess to Mad Dog. I read you. Over." Lacey replied, having heard Tina through her earpiece.

"There is nothing down here. Over." Tina said.

"Nothing here either. Over." Lacey told her.

"Tiger to Princess and Mad Dog...there is a very hot, very wet man up here." Milly said.

Milly had pocketed three pairs of boxers, and then when Tina and Lacey had said they were coming upstairs to catch John in his birthday suit, Milly heard the shower switch off. All of their spy fun had just made this mission less fun because John stepped out of the shower and started drying off before they could do anything about it.

"Okay, he's out of the shower. We have to abort before he finds us and tells our parents. Over." Milly whispered.

Tina shook her head. "There is no way I'm leaving without seeing John Winchester at least in a towel."

"I am not getting grounded, Mad Dog! I have a date with Dreamy tomorrow!" Lacey replied.

Milly nodded. "I agree with Princess--I need Devil Sex tomorrow."

Tina was going to protest, but Milly stepped on a stair, and when she did a loud creaking was heard, and the girls had to book it.

"You girls can stop pretending to be spies now." John said out loud.

Milly sighed. "I'm so not seeing Devil Sex tomorrow."

"No you're not, Tiger--especially not now that I know Dean's codename." John told her.

"Good news is you're so fabulous when you've got a toweling covering your privates and you're still wet." Milly smiled.

Tina giggled as she and Lacey met Milly on the stairs, John standing in the middle of the hallway with only a towel covering his bottom half.

"I would so tap that." Lacey said grinning.

"You have Dreamy--Sex-on-a-Stick is mine." Tina told her.

Milly pouted. "I'm the oldest--why can't I have Sex-on-a-Stick?"

"I think I'm the sweetest one, so I should get Sex-on-a-Stick." Lacey replied.

John rolled his eyes. "Give me back my boxers and go home you three. Now."

Milly sighed. "How do you know?"

"I know everything--you guys should really believe me on that." John said, holding out his hand.

"Everything?" Lacey mused.

John didn't like the look on Lacey's face and was completely scandalized when Tina reached out and pulled the towel off of him. The three girls burst out laughing and he started telling them all they were grounded.

"My God, it was so worth it!" Lacey exclaimed.

"Can I get a picture?" Milly asked.

John sent them a glare and went into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"You have the hottest butt ever!" Tina called after him.

Then the three high-fived and laughed all the way home reminiscing and deciding to make a national 'Stalk John Winchester Day'.

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