Heavy In Your Arms Chapter 21: No, This is Not a Game, a twilight fanfic

A/N: This chapter was surprisingly tricky to write, and I had to rewrite part of it to make sure I got everything the way I needed it to be without boring the shit out of you all with exposition, so excuse the slight delay!

This one's gonna answer a lot of questions many of you have had from the beginning, and may lead to more, so sit back and enjoy this 11,000 word baby!

Thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, so many of you are old faithful's, and I can't describe how lovely it feels to know you're sticking with me. And those of you who are new readers and reviewers, I hope you're enjoying the story!

Love you all,

Soph xx

I know that I can survive;

I'll walk through fire to save my life.

And I want it, I want my life so bad,

I'm doing everything I can…

You did not break me.

I'm still fighting for peace.

Sia – Elastic Heart

"Corinne's asleep. I settled her in your old bed with Jake," I said softly as I closed the door to Bella's parents' old room. I couldn't call it our room, not really. Unlike Bella's old room when we'd last stayed, there were no personal touches that felt like us, yet. "Thought it'd be better for the two of them not to have to sleep alone somewhere new."

I saw Bella nod from her position near the bed, her back to me as she brushed through her hair, still damp from the shower she'd taken while I put Corinne and Jake down to sleep.

"Thank you."

I slowly moved forwards so I didn't startle her, then placed on hand on her hip while the other gently coaxed the brush from hers. She sighed at my touch and leaned back against me, her head tilting back to rest on my shoulder. I pressed a kiss to her neck, then took a step back so I could pick up where she left off.

"Your hair's getting so long," I mused as I gently worked the brush through her hair, starting with the ends then working upwards so I didn't hurt her. Bella laughed under her breath and nodded.

"Pregnancy," she offered simply. One of her hands dropped to cover mine at her hip, and the other reached back to rest on my outer thigh.

"Twenty-two weeks today, right?" I murmured, squeezing her hip. She hummed quietly, and I could tell she was smiling.

"Part of me wants to keep her here, where she's safe, but then I imagine holding her, and Edward…" She shivered and leaned back against me. I tossed the hairbrush to the bed and wrapped my newly freed arm around her waist, hand covering her stomach. "I can't wait to meet her."

"She's gonna be perfect," I breathed, dropping slow, open mouthed kisses down her neck and along her shoulder. "Just like her Mom."

Bella let out an uneven breath, then turned in my arms to face me, one hand coming up to cup my cheek. "I love you."

I smiled at her, then, but stayed silent, instead leaning in to kiss her. I knew the look in her eyes, could read her gaze with more ease than I'd been able to for a while, now, and knew it was because she had more to say.

She let out a quiet moan as our lips touched, her free hand moving beneath my shirt to rest over my heart. After a few moments, she pulled back just far enough to look into my eyes, but pressed the rest of her body closer.

"You're so good with me," she almost whispered. "I know I haven't spoken much about what happened in Montana. And honestly? I don't know I'll ever be able to without breaking down, but…" She brushed her nose against mine. "I've been so in my head lately, and I just…"

She shook her head, then brought her arm out from under my t-shirt so both could loop round my neck, her fingers stroking the hair at the back of my neck. Her brown eyes held mine, beautiful and expressive as ever. "Edward, I'm so grateful to have you. You've not pushed me, or kept too much distance… You've let me process without overwhelming me or making me feel alone, and God… I needed that."

I pressed my forehead to hers and slipped my arms round her more fully, barely able to stop myself smiling when her baby bump stopped me from holding her as close as I wanted. Although the circumstances weren't perfect, between us and Rosalie she'd been able to eat as regularly as possible and it showed. She'd filled out to her normal healthy self, and it showed in the gorgeous curve of her belly.

"Thank you," she breathed as her lips grazed mine. "This past week has been… Hell. Between Alice, and losing Di-" Her voice cracked. "Didyme… and now being back here, meeting Carlisle… I wouldn't have got through any of it without you."

"Bella…" I closed my eyes and breathed her in.

"I know you've been caught up with things, too. God, how could you not?" I felt her brow furrow. "But I wanted you to know that I noticed, that I understand why. The air between us I said I felt, when we were waiting for the others? That's not caused by us. I hope I didn't make you think it was, I just meant that…" She sighed out a faint laugh. "I guess that was my way of acknowledging it was getting too much and admitting I need you more than I realized."

"I'm glad you did," I whispered. "Until you said it… I'd been so focused on holding it together that I forgot I don't have to with you."

"You always focus on me, what I need," she said softly. Her lips met mine again, more firmly this time. "It makes me feel so safe, but I always wonder if I should be doing more for you."

My laugh was almost breathless. "Oh, Bella…" I shook my head, then kissed her once more, gently guiding us both towards the bed. When we reached it, I turned us both and sat down before pulling her forward so she was on my lap, her shins on the mattress either side of my thighs. I wanted her close for this. "In the compound, you did so much for me. I forget I never really told you how things were for me."

"Edward, you don't have to-" she began, but I cut her off with another press of my lips to hers.

"You handled my nightmares so amazingly, and you cared for me, genuinely. I didn't have that for so long…" I ran my hands up her back over her t-shirt, which I instinctively knew had originally been bought for me to wear. "You loved me when I couldn't trust anyone or anything, and you were so… you. When I was stabbed, you knew what I needed, better than I did, and you still do, even now. You're there for me. You always have been. I used to wake up, even before we were together, and just lie there with you, because it was the only time I felt I could breathe."

"You never told me that," she whispered. I smiled. How had she not realized?

"Focusing on you is the only thing that clears my mind and makes it possible to think," I confessed. "Then and now. So, no, you don't need to be doing more for me. I don't always voice it, I know, but just being with you grounds me. I don't need the big things. I never have, Bella. Not from you."

Bella's eyes had filled with tears as I spoke, but they didn't seem sad… more relieved, maybe even happy. She held my gaze for several long moments, then gave me a smile so beautiful, I felt my own lips return it without even needing to be told.

"This," she murmured, shifting on my lap so she could bring our faces more level. "I've missed this."

"I know," I hummed, then finally slipped my hands beneath her t-shirt to splay my fingers against her waist. She moaned softly against my mouth, fingers tightening reflexively in my hair. "So have I."

Bella's eyes fell shut as our lips came together again and again, kisses growing more passionate but never hurried. Her tongue teased my bottom lip, and I felt her breathing quicken as she pushed herself closer to me, rising up a little on her knees. I moved my hands from her waist just long enough to pull my t-shirt over my head, gazing up at her as her eyes shone with something not quite lust, but something more sensual. Her fingertips ran over my shoulders, then down my chest, her nails lightly dragging across my skin. The sensation was enough to make me groan, and I let my head fall back as she lowered herself back to my lap, kissing along the same trail her fingers just had.

"You feel amazing," she told me, "so warm…"

I ran my hands down to her thighs, and smiled as her skin broke out into goosebumps. She shuddered against me, then lightly dragged her lips up my neck, to my jaw, then back to mine. I kissed her almost hungrily, tongue playing with hers as our hands explored, relearning, teasing, reassuring… It was more intimate than sex, felt almost as good, and with each touch, each kiss, I felt the space that had somehow formed between us knit itself together and heal.

How had I not realized how much we needed this? How much I craved it? She felt incredible, her body, her lips… but it was that mental connection that made me feel even closer to her. I'd always known, somewhere inside of me, how she felt about me and what was happening. But hearing her explain it in words, being able to do the same in return, to give her that piece of me… I'd never felt so close or in love with her, and I needed her to know…

I groaned and slipped my hands up to her hips, tugging her closer, suddenly unable to get enough. Her fingers curled into my hair, tapped out my heartbeat on my chest, followed the curve of my shoulder, the line of my bicep. I ran mine across her belly, along the curve of her breasts, then round to her back, tracing over each raised line, each bump… every scar she'd had forced on her back to protect me, to protect our baby. They could never be 'beautiful' as representation of her agony, of her torture, but as an expression of how hard she fought for us? I loved them the same way I loved the rest of her. Wholly and completely, without hesitation.

Bella pressed her lips to my shoulder, then covered the scar on my back from months ago with her palm, knowing its placement without needing to see it. I felt a rush of love, knowing she felt the same way about my scars as I did about hers. They were a sign of strength in their own way. I knew that, now. We were stronger together than we ever would have been on our own, physically and mentally, and how I'd ever let that slip away was beyond me. I needed her, yes, but I wanted her even more.

Need was instinct, want was a decision, a desire, an emotional thing. The easy decision would have been to run from my wants, to deny how I felt about her months ago, before any of this, when survival was my need. But I made the choice to fight for us, for her, for a relationship that was beyond anything I even knew I wanted, and it was a choice I'd continue to make for the rest of my life. Her, above everything else.

Bella moaned softly against my mouth, lips finding mine again as easily as breathing, and I couldn't help but pull her in to me, trying not to crush her but craving more, always more. She gasped, but her kisses grew deeper, the warmth of her touch spreading across my skin, and I knew it wasn't because I'd hurt her.

"I love you," she whispered fiercely, lips trailing down so I felt the words as well as heard them when she repeated them against my ear. "Edward, I love you."

I buried my face in her neck, hugging her so closely, I could almost feel her heartbeat against my chest. She wrapped both arms around me tightly, wanting the closeness just as badly as I did… When was the last time I'd shown her how I felt like this? When was the last time I'd held her so closely, just because I could, out of pure love and want, not for comfort or support? When was the last time our actions hadn't been influenced by the events of the day?

I groaned quietly, suddenly so overwhelmed by what I felt for her, my brain almost couldn't process it. She was all I could think of in those moments, all I wanted, needed, craved, desired, loved… and I realized how I could show her.

"Marry me?"

Her eyes shot to mine, mouth falling open in a silent 'oh'.

"What?" she breathed, words barely louder than mine had been.

My thumbs traced gentle arcs over her hips as my lips curved up in a smile. "Marry me."

Her gaze became searching, but my smile didn't fade, my heartbeat didn't falter.

"I want you, like this, for the rest of my life," I told her. "I'll never choose differently. I'll never want anything the way I want you now, except our family. Our family is part of us, of you, and I want all of it. I want to grow old with you, to share every part of my life with you… I want you."

After a moment, her hands, which had been frozen, moved to cup my face as she shook her head slowly, the smile on her lips matching my own.

"Okay," she said, like it was the most simple decision in the world.

"Yeah?" I grinned, feeling warmth explode in my chest as her eyes glistened with tears.

"Yeah." She bit her lip, then laughed, the happiest sound I'd ever heard, before leaning in so our mouths met again. She nodded into the kiss, buzzing with energy. "Yeah." I felt her tears spill against my cheeks. "I'll marry you."

We'd spoken about marriage before, and in many ways we'd both always known it would happen. Why would it not? But asking her… hearing her say yes… I felt like my chest couldn't contain the joy it now held.

"I love you," I told her. She smiled again, then planted small, sweet kisses across my cheeks, my forehead, the tip of my nose… She was overjoyed, I realized as our lips met again.

"I know I don't have a ring," I managed to say between kisses, "but-"

"I don't care," Bella breathed, shaking her head. "I don't need one."

I smiled, slowing our kisses to longer, even deeper ones that I felt right down to my toes. "You deserve one."

"Edward…" She let out a moan, hands slipping down to my shoulders then round, across my back. "Oh."

She buried her face in my neck as she held me tightly, body trembling. I gently rocked us, cradling her gently against my chest, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"When all this is over," I murmured against her hair. "I want us to come back here. Being in this house, with you… feels like it could be home."

Bella let out a breath that was almost a sob, fingers curling against my skin as she nodded.

"Home," she whispered. "I'd like that. Very much."

We held each other, then, for so long, I almost thought she'd fallen asleep. She was so calm, breaths puffing evenly across my neck in a slow rhythm, so when she eventually lifted her head again, I was surprised to see perfect clarity in her eyes.

"We're going to do this," she told me, not even a hint of doubt. "We're going to beat them. No matter what. We know what we're fighting for. They don't."

"Yeah." I nodded my head, feeling that unwavering belief down to my bones. "We are."

She smiled, then looked down at her lap as she reached for my hands, linking our fingers together. After a moment, she laughed softly, eyes lighting up with excitement. "Let's go and tell Rose and Emmett."

"Okay," I agreed, unable to deny her anything, not when she looked so happy, so sure… like the Bella who had just seen the positive pregnancy test result, the one who couldn't contain her joy at finding out she was carrying a baby who embodied the love we had for each other, even in the darkest of places.

She carefully pushed herself off my lap and stood up, only to laugh and pull my hand to her stomach.

"She's excited," she murmured, and I felt the now familiar, but never less awe-inspiring, flutter beneath my fingers.

Seeing her like this lifted the weight from my chest, stopped the voices that whispered we were doomed, that I was guilty, that we couldn't win… I had hope, I realized. Hope that things were going to be okay, because no matter what happened, if we were together, if we had Jake and our baby… it would be okay.

After a minute, Elizabeth stopped kicking so obviously, the flutters slowing to just the occasional bump, and Bella stepped away, hand trailing behind her to keep contact with mine as long as possible as she moved to the wardrobe on the other side of the room.

"Thank God we thought ahead when we first came here," she said as she pulled out a pair of maternity jeans and a sweater. "I don't think I'd have fit into anything if we hadn't bought clothes with a longer stay in mind."

I pushed myself to my feet and moved to join her, accepting the jeans and soft t-shirt she handed me without question before pulling them on. "I think we've still got a fair amount of food as well, and some medical supplies. You can take your pre-natal vitamins a bit easier now, too."

She nodded, reaching out to grip my shoulder as she pulled her jeans up one leg before doing the same for the other. I reached down to help her ease them over her hips, then smiled as she pulled the soft jersey at the top to cover her bump. I'd never say it to her, but she looked cute, and when she put her sweater on over the top, I imagined how she'd look near the end of the pregnancy, how perfect she'd be as a mom…

I stepped forward and kissed her, lingering for a moment before moving back and gesturing towards the door, my free hand automatically finding the small of her back as she smiled and walked ahead of me.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Emmett softly called our names from the kitchen. Sensing the lack of urgency in his tone, we made our way there hand in hand, surprised by the scent of something warm and delicious coming from that direction.

"Oh, that smells amazing," Bella sighed as we stepped inside the kitchen. Rosalie smiled from her place by the fridge, dishing something that looked like lasagna onto four plates.

"I thought a little midnight snack might do us some good," she offered by way of explanation. "It was a long drive, and I remember you saying your appetite's increased lately back at Alice's."

"Thank you," Bella said softly as Rosalie walked over with two plates, placing them on the table and gesturing for us to take a seat.

I pulled out Bella's chair, then tucked it beneath her once she sat down, and smiled gratefully at Rosalie and Emmett as they came to join us, plates in hand.

"God, this is incredible, Rose," Bella mumbled as she took her first bite.

"I found the recipe in the cupboard, and thought since we had the ingredients, I may as well use them," Rose replied.

Bella's eyes widened as she took another mouthful. "One of these cupboards?"

Rose nodded, but looked a little apprehensive. "Yeah, I'm sorry is that-"

"No!" Bella shook her head and smiled. "God, no, it's… My dad was an awful cook. It's hard to believe he had a recipe like this and still came out with crap!"

Rosalie let out a relieved laugh.

"You know who else we should have given that recipe to?" Emmett asked. Bella grinned, pointing at him with her fork.

"Eric," she answered, then laughed. "Right?"

"Right!" Emmett laughed too, and Rose and I looked to each other for explanation. We found none.

"This guy we trained with at HQ, his name was Eric," Bella eventually told us once they stopped laughing. "We kinda all lived there, like a college dorm or something, and we used to take turns cooking a group meal once a week for 'bonding time'."

"So Eric, he had a little hero crush on one of the instructors, Angela, who had graduated training the year before. He decides to invite her to the group meal when it's his turn to cook, thinking he can win her over with an amazing meal. But the problem is, the guy can burn water just by looking at it," Emmett continued.

"Oh, no," I groaned.

"Oh, yes," Bella laughed. "He burned his lasagna so bad the entire sector had to be evacuated so they could air out the smoke enough for us all to breathe."

"Angela was so pissed." Emmett chuckled to himself and shook his head. "She put him on cleaning duties for, like, three weeks, and I swear she convinced Tyler to get in on it as well."

"She did," Bella said cheerfully, taking another bite of her food. "Tyler rigged the fight training so he was against the biggest opponents for a month. Poor guy got the shit beat out of him."

"I can't believe he was activated," Emmett muttered.

"Only into tech, though," Bella corrected him. "Carlisle knew he didn't have it in him for hand to hand. I bumped into him a few years back when I was gathering intel on those drug smugglers down in Alabama?"

"Hey, wasn't that the op where you and Mike first-" Emmett hissed in a breath as Bella kicked him under the table.

"So that's where you met Mike," I teased, nudging Bella with my elbow. She flushed red, covering her face with one hand.

"You told him about Mike?" Emmett boomed, then shook his head. "Oh, Bella."

"What?" Bella muttered. "It came up!"

"The worst lay of your life came up in conversation?" He raised a brow. "Why, did Edward come a narrow second?"

"Yep," Bella taunted. "That's why we had sex often enough for this little one to be conceived."

Emmett grimaced at the mental image that probably put in his head. Served him right, though.

"You can't really say anything about having sex while on assignment though, Em," Rosalie said quietly, but there was a mischievous glint in her eye. "Not when you and I-"

"Nope!" Emmett covered her mouth with his head and shook his head, making the rest of us laugh. "Not happening."

Rosalie pulled his hand down from her mouth and pouted. "But babe-"

"I'm getting seconds, does anybody else want seconds?" Emmett asked quickly, picking up his still half-full plate and heading back over to the counter.

"You are telling me this story one day," Bella told Rose.

"Oh, you can count on that," Rosalie promised with a smile.

I watched them fall into easy conversation, happy to eat and listen without interrupting. Hearing Bella talk about her time before we met always amazed me, somehow. It was like getting to know a whole other side of her, a younger, harder Bella who'd completed her training as one of the top ranking initiates and quickly become one of Carlisle's best agents. Reconciling that Bella with the one I'd first met was almost as hard as trying to wrap my head around the fact she was the person who now sat beside me.

It was the antithesis of my own training experience, deep within the bowels of the Volturi. That had been a year of blood and sweat, torture and pain, with no sense of camaraderie, just competition. And then I had to claw my way up the ranks to join Aro's main crew, oscillating between surveillance, 'outings' with Demetri and Felix, and sorting through paperwork for Marcus.

I inhaled a calming breath, surprised those memories weren't as painful as usual.

"How's the baby doing, Bella?" Rosalie enquired softly, drawing my attention back to the present.

Bella beamed, bringing her hand down to stroke her bump. "She's doing really well, isn't she, Edward?"

I smiled back and nodded, memories fading to nothing as I watched her glow. "She was kicking up a storm earlier. She got really excited."

"Oh really?" Rosalie's voice was gentle but I knew she was genuinely intrigued. This would have been her, if the world was more fair. "Why was that, do you think?"

Bella bit her lip and looked to me, silently encouraging me with her eyes.

"I asked Bella to marry me. And she said yes."

Rosalie's hand came to rest against her chest as she smiled brightly, and Emmett fistpumped, immediately rising to his feet to hug Bella.

"Congratulations," he said earnestly, surprising a laugh out of Bella, then moved over to hug me too. I patted his back, unable to stop myself smiling at his enthusiasm.

"I'm so happy for you both," Rose murmured, eyes shining, but didn't move to embrace us as Emmett had, though I knew she wanted to.

"Timing's probably not perfect, but-"

"No," Rosalie countered, reaching across the table to cover my hand. "It is. We all need something good right now. And this is… This is wonderful."

"We were talking upstairs, airing things we'd kept hidden, and it's made me realize that we can do this," Bella said softly, addressing both of them. "Together, all four of us… We can do this."

"Rosie and I said the same thing," Emmett confessed. "I know it's been hard. For all of us, it's been hard. But we're in the home stretch now. I can feel it."

"When Carlisle arrives…" I glanced at the clock on the wall and blinked when I realized he was due only hours from now. "We need to just put our cards on the table and make him show us his hand. No more lies or half-truths; we need to know what his plan is. This isn't a game, and it never was."

"Agreed." Emmett nodded. "But that means telling him about Alice and what happened at the safehouse. He might not know exactly what happened."

"So we tell him." I shrugged. "We tell him, and if he doesn't believe us about Alice, we show him the proof, and then we work out what we're gonna do about it."

"He'll believe us." Bella sounded certain. "He has no choice. He'll be on our territory, and I'm not letting him leave without a strategy in place to end this."

Emmett smirked and clapped his hands together once, looking proud. "Man, it's good to have you both back."

"You're late."

Carlisle looked up wearily as he approached the front door, but avoided my gaze.

"Were you followed?" I asked. I'd told the others to keep back just in case this was a trap, and glanced round outside, checking for any signs of trouble. There weren't any, but I didn't lower my guard.

"Of course not," Carlisle sighed. "As far as everyone is concerned, I'm enjoying a nice quiet evening with my wife."

He moved to the doorstep, but I didn't budge.

"Weapons?" I held my hand out expectantly, and he raised an eyebrow. I stayed in place, blocking the door, and gestured for him to hand them over.

With a heavy sigh, he reached behind him and pulled out his gun, handing it to me.

"And your ankle one," I told him. He rolled his eyes, then gave that one to me too before holding his hands up in surrender.

"Want to pat me down too?"

"Don't tempt me," I muttered, then gestured for him to enter. He passed me without a word, and I stood still for a few moments, searching out for anything that hinted at a problem… Satisfied at least enough to join the others, I tucked Carlisle's weapons into my waistband and pushed the door closed, locking it for good measure.

"Worried I'll try to escape?" Carlisle said quietly.

"Something like that," I told him truthfully.

"Considering the circumstances we find ourselves in… I must admit I'm not surprised," he replied. "Where is Bella? I'd like to see her."

"She's upstairs." I gestured for him to head into the living room, away from the stairs. "She'll be joining us in a few moments."

Carlisle nodded somewhat resignedly. "Okay."

Without needing more prompting, he moved into the living room, where I knew Emmett was waiting for him. I glanced up the stairs, desperate to check on Bella, but forced my feet to follow Carlisle's, and almost laughed at the shock on his face when he saw Emmett.

"McCarty," he murmured. "I did not expect to see you here."

"Why?" Emmett wondered, eyebrows raised. "Spoken to your daughter recently?"

"I have had a conversation with her, yes," Carlisle admitted. Emmett huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

"Of course you have," he muttered.

"Emmett," I said softly, catching his eye. I saw him actively take a deep breath, fists uncurling as he sat down on the sofa furthest from Carlisle, his body the picture of forced relaxation.

"Is Miss Hale…"

"She's still with us," Emmett replied. She was upstairs with Jake and Corinne, watching over them while we dealt with things down here. Carlisle nodded and took a seat on the opposite sofa, hands folded in his lap.

"Good."

"Don't worry, Carlisle." I turned at the sound of Bella's voice as she stepped into the room, fingers playing with the sleeves of her sweater; the only outward sign of her nerves. "All our pieces are safe."

"That's not why I was asking, but that's good to know." As Carlisle looked at her, his expression softened. Bella shifted awkwardly, then moved to my side, her hand brushing against mine.

"Thank you for coming," she said politely.

"I believe we have much to talk about," Carlisle replied. "But firstly, I have to say I'm pleased to see your recovery seems to be going well. Last time I saw you-"

"Was three months ago, when I couldn't speak and thought my daughter was dead," Bella cut in. I curled my fingers round hers, and she squeezed back gratefully. "I remember."

"A daughter?" Carlisle let out a slow breath, eyes flicking down to her stomach. I fought down the protective urge to shield her from his view. "Congratulations."

Bella bit her lip and nodded. "Thank you."

"Okay, pleasantries over," Emmett sighed. All eyes shifted to him as he leaned forwards, bracing himself with his forearms on his knees. "Let's discuss why you're here."

"Of course." Carlisle rubbed his hand over his head, looking tired suddenly. "I suppose I should go first."

"That would be my preference," Emmett agreed.

"Is Rosalie okay?" I murmured to Bella as the two men stared at each other. She nodded almost imperceptibly, then tugged my hand as she moved over to the third, middle sofa and sat down, guiding me to sit beside her. I pulled Carlisle's weapons from my waistband and placed them on the coffee table, within my reach but not his. As I sat down and leaned back against the cushions, Bella pressed herself against my side, but still kept upright and strong. I placed my hand on her back and rubbed slow, small circles over her sweater, reminding her I wasn't going anywhere.

When I looked up, Carlisle's gaze had turned to us, watching our interactions with interest.

"I see I underestimated the depths of your feelings for each other when we first spoke," he observed.

"You really thought I'd compromise a mission and risk my life for somebody I didn't love?" Bella retorted.

"Of course not." Carlisle shook his head. "It seems I'm getting off to a bad start here. I just meant that it is clear how important you are to each other. I'm glad you have a support system, Bella."

Bella forced herself to relax, but I knew she was on edge. Out of Carlisle's sight, I slipped my hand beneath her sweater and touched her bare skin. She shivered, then placed her hand on my thigh as she tried to regain control of the conversation.

"I think you ought to start by telling us what happened in Oregon," she said quietly. "What went wrong? How did your guys manage to lose James, and how the fuck did Alec and Jane escape your custody?"

Her use of the word 'your' didn't go unnoticed. Once upon I time, she would have said 'our' instead.

"The honest answer to both of those questions is I do not know," Carlisle replied. "We managed to capture James in a separate infiltration following your retrieval from the Montana compound. Mr. O'Bryant informed us he was being kept in a different location, though didn't say why, so we tracked him down and struck."

"He tried to rape me," Bella interjected.

Carlisle did a double take. "What?"

"James," Bella clarified shakily. "He tried to rape me. That's why he was moved."

Silence fell over the room for a few moments while Carlisle processed. Emmett already knew, of course, but I saw his hands curl into fists as he stared at a spot on the floor.

"He's a walking dead man," Emmett muttered. The remark didn't surprise me. He'd never be able to punish Royce for what he did to Rosalie, not since he was already dead, but something in his eyes told me James would make a nice substitute for him. I agreed.

"I didn't know," Carlisle murmured.

"Would it have changed anything if you had?" Bella wondered.

"In terms of keeping him there? No. I thought between the F.B.I and us, we'd be able to hold him. I was wrong. Somebody leaked the information of the guarding rotations, and when we found the message on the wall we realized your location was also leaked." Carlisle shook his head. "If I'd known before you'd be his direct target… I can't say the escape wouldn't have happened, but he definitely would not have done so in one piece."

Bella didn't say anything, but I felt her hand shake slightly against my thigh. I shifted slightly so the side of my leg was flush against hers, and she shot me a grateful look.

James' attack was months ago now, but I could still remember the rage and fear I felt when I saw him pinning her down, the despair that coursed through me as she broke down back in the suite after… I forced myself to release a deep breath and steer the conversation back on track.

"Why did you send the medical center into lockdown instead of warning us directly?" I asked Carlisle.

"I didn't want to alarm Bella, or tip off the leak that we knew James was coming for her. I thought I'd be able to keep things under control."

"You underestimated them," Bella told him simply. She laughed bitterly. "But this is what I don't understand… The twins. Why would you keep them in the medical center to begin with? What were you thinking?" She shook her head. "Were you even thinking?"

"After we interrogated them, they needed medical assistance," Carlisle explained. It was a polite way of saying they'd been tortured, but instead of feeling pleased by the news, I felt disgust. They didn't deserve medical attention. Bella sure as fuck didn't get any when they- "I wanted to oversee the proceedings, but also needed to keep an eye on your recovery. Oregon seemed like a logical place at the time; I knew I'd be able to keep you separated and protected from them."

"'Keep an eye on' me?" Bella scoffed. "I woke up and your first instinct was to start questioning me. You didn't let me breathe, just went straight for the interrogation. You didn't car-"

"Bella." Carlisle's eyes darkened. "Do not for a second think I was not concerned for you."

Bella leaned back against me, gaze fixed on her lap. I slipped my hand round to her hip and pulled her closer, pressing my lips to the top of her head. Her hand shook again, but she gripped my thigh tightly to stop it. We'd never spoken about how she felt after Carlisle had started quizzing her, too caught up in everything else, but he was still the first person to figure out what had happened to her speech. I knew that had to have reinforced the dichotomy in her head she'd always struggled with. Protective father-figure versus cold-hearted boss.

Once again, Emmett broke the silence, and I was suddenly even more grateful for his presence.

"Regardless of your motives for keeping them there, why didn't it occur to you to move Bella the moment you discovered James was coming?" he wanted to know. "Did you not realize they'd be coming for Alec and Jane, too?"

"I didn't know the extent of the leak," Carlisle defended. "With no idea who to trust, I didn't know where I could move her, if anywhere. And by the time I came up with a plan, you'd all disappeared."

"Can you blame us?" I shot back, unable to rein in my irritation. Calm, Edward, calm.

"No, I suppose not." Carlisle sighed.

"How did you manage to lose the twins?" My leg began to bounce, and Bella squeezed my thigh reassuringly. "And how did they manage to get to Seattle? I refuse to believe you didn't know the murder spree was them."

"We lost a lot of good people during the Oregon raid," Carlisle told me. "It soon became clear that somebody had released them, and it's hard to assemble a strike team when every attempt you make at capturing somebody will be thwarted from the inside before you even move. We had no real pattern, no way of knowing where they'd strike…"

"We did," Bella countered. "We worked it out."

Carlisle nodded, expression contemplative. "I wondered if it was Aro tidying up loose ends at first, but I'm glad to know one of my own was able to get there first."

Bella rolled her eyes, and I knew the words 'I'm not one of yours' were at the tip of her tongue. Before I could say anything, Carlisle caught her expression.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Bella," Carlisle chided. "You forget I don't have the same source of information as you do in Edward. It took a while to even discern the geographical profile, and then I had to negotiate Seattle PD's investigations with one hand tied behind my back. Anonymous tips to them only got us so far, and I didn't have the manpower to spare to handle the situation in-house, not after the Denali attack."

My blood ran cold. "What Denali attack?"

"Of course you wouldn't know," Carlisle muttered to himself, then looked up at us again, eyes betraying his exhaustion. "Shortly after Oregon, the safehouse we were keeping the Denalis in was attacked. Not many people knew of their true location, so four safehouses were targeted simultaneously. Luckily, their guard saw the intruders coming and managed to pick them off before they could reach Kate and her family."

"Who did you have assigned to them?" Bella wondered, frowning.

"The Wolf Pack," Carlisle replied. Bella nodded, and an almost smile turned the corners of her mouth up.

"Jared, Embry, Sam?"

"And Paul and Quil, yes," Carlisle confirmed.

Bella nodded again, and I saw Emmett smile out of the corner of my eye. The Pack… I realized, then, why that name sounded so familiar. They were the team who extracted Bella. I felt stupid for not remembering that straight away. I'd forever be in their debt for bringing her home to me.

"By the time we regrouped, the twins were found dead, one with their throat cut-" Bella shuddered. "- and the other beaten beyond recognition and gutted," Carlisle told us what we already knew. "At that point, I didn't care to know who did it, I was just glad they were gone."

"You're welcome," Emmett muttered under his breath. Carlisle ignored him.

"If I may be so bold as to ask… How did you manage to stay hidden for so long?" Carlisle wondered. "I couldn't search for you as hard as I wanted to, for fears your location would be leaked, but I was impressed you avoided the radar so completely. I take it you didn't spend all your time here, so…"

Bella hesitated, which gave Carlisle all the information he needed.

"My daughter."

"Yes," Bella replied.

Carlisle nodded once, fumbling with the wedding band on his finger. Bella watched him for a moment, then clenched her jaw, leaning away from me a little.

"She's been in contact with you." It wasn't a question, more a statement.

"Just the once," Carlisle confirmed. "She had started to become more insistent in her phonecalls to Esme, but never spoke to me. I'm sure you know why."

Bella nodded.

"So you can imagine my surprise when she called me directly to tell me about the shooting at Jacob's school…"

"She told you? Those were your men," Emmett told him. "Your cars. Your guns. Your people. Do you really expect us to believe you had no idea what-"

Carlisle heaved a weary sigh. "I don't even know where Alice lives anymore so… No. I was under the impression that The Volturi were the ones responsible for the attack."

"Because Alice said so?" Emmett raised an eyebrow. "What else did she tell you?"

Carlisle bowed his head. "Not much. She called me several days ago, crying, saying they had attacked Jacob's school and that you and Miss Hale had tracked her down and kidnapped Jacob when she got away."

Bella laughed and shook her head in disbelief.

"She told me she hadn't seen you or Edward, Bella, and that she was worried for your safety, that Emmett had turned on you."

"Lies," Emmett spat. "I would never-"

"Emmett," I said sternly. I understood his rage, felt it myself, but we had to remain calm. Emotion would get us nowhere.

Emmett pushed himself to his feet and begun pacing, but remained quiet.

"We'd been staying with her for a few weeks before your men attacked at the school. Then your daughter told them exactly where we were meeting Emmett after he ran to escape Alice's plan," Bella told Carlisle, voice hard. "They came after us. Did you not notice your own men disappearing off to New Mexico all of a sudden?"

"In times like these, covers run deep and I don't have full contact with my men at all times," Carlisle tried to explain. I couldn't hold in my retort that time.

"No shit." I huffed out a disbelieving laugh. "You don't need to explain to me what deep cover is under your rules, Carlisle."

Carlisle closed his eyes, visibly trying to calm himself.

"You don't seem surprised to find out she's been leaking information to the other side, Carlisle," Bella observed.

"No," Carlisle agreed softly. "All you've done is confirm my suspicions."

"Confirm your suspicions?" I asked.

"Only Alice, Jasper and Esme knew about Jacob's existence aside from Bella and myself," Carlisle explained. "Nobody else. I knew for damn sure my wife didn't tell anybody, and I doubted anybody could have worked it out. Which left only Alice or Jasper as the likely source of that leak. But I had no proof, and it didn't explain the Oregon leak. She had no idea of what was happening there. It wasn't until you called me that I realized I was correct, that she had betrayed me, but that she wasn't the only one."

"I don't get why she would have called you," Bella mused. "It makes no sense for her to lie like that."

"She needed help," Carlisle replied. "She was worried for your safety, said things were spiraling. She wanted me to move the O'Bryants, to make sure the Denalis were safe."

"Oh really?" Bella all but growled. "How kind of her to warn you."

"Thanks to her advice, we were able to move the Denalis in time." Carlisle sighed. "But the team guarding the O'Bryants… They didn't respond to the order, nor to my calls. We were too late."

"They were already dead," I realized.

Carlisle nodded. "By the time my backup team arrived, Mrs O'Bryant had been killed, her daughter was missing, and the entire scene was a bloodbath."

My fingers froze in their soothing movements over Bella's skin as it sunk in that Carlisle had no idea Corinne was still alive. That Alice had saved the Denali family, had tried to save Didyme…

"A lot of Volturi blood was shed, but… it wasn't enough," Carlisle continued, oblivious. "Marcus disappeared from the radar shortly afterwards. I fear we've lost that advantage, which causes more problems than I anticipated."

I looked to Bella, who seemed to sense my gaze, for her eyes met mine just moments later. Should we tell him?

We had to.

"I wouldn't count Marcus out quite yet," Bella said quietly.

"Have you spoken to him?" Carlisle's eyes were wide, his tone urgent. "Bella, if you know anything, you must-"

"His daughter's upstairs."

Carlisle seemed taken aback by that news, but also relieved.

"We arrived just after Aro's men, while they were taking care of the… bodies," Emmett explained, pausing in his pacing. "Didyme got caught in the crossfire as we tried to escape, and…"

"She managed to protect Corinne long enough for Edward to get her out of there," Bella finished for him.

"I was sorry to hear of her death," Carlisle said quietly. "She seemed like a wonderful woman, very committed to helping us."

"She was," Bella agreed. "But Marcus is not a terrible man. He'll still help."

"I hope so."

"Who covered up her murder?" I wondered softly. "Who did that?"

"Not us," Carlisle swore. "I had no idea of your involvement, I assumed Aro had killed her then covered the death to manipulate Marcus somehow."

"If he blamed it on you… It would keep Marcus on his side," I surmised. It sounded like a typical Aro plan; I could see why Carlisle would think it was him.

"I told him the truth," Bella continued for me. "After Didyme… I spoke to him. He said he'd handle things."

"Clearly I don't give you enough credit," Carlisle admitted. "Thank you, for succeeding where I failed. Is she-"

"Don't," Bella said darkly. "Don't play the concerned fatherly role for a girl you barely know. You're not very good at it."

"Baby," I began, but she pushed herself to her feet like Emmett had, running her hands through her hair.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry, but you're not giving us anything helpful here," she told him, voice flatter, like she'd forced all the emotion from her words. "Aside from news on the Denalis, you're not offering anything useful, just confirming what we already suspected. So unless you have something for us, I'm afraid we've all wasted our time here. We've clearly been able to do a better job on our own than you have as it stands right now."

"I suppose it would seem that way to you," Carlisle replied calmly, almost contemplatively. "In your isolation, you've not been able to see the bigger picture. I haven't allowed you to."

"Then tell us!" Bella snapped. "Stop with the smoke and mirrors, because it's gotten you nowhere! So stop hiding the truth and just tell us your game plan. What are we gonna do, go tell Aro? We want out of this, and the only way we will ever get that is if we all take them down. We aren't going to risk fucking that up. You know me, Carlisle. You know I would never betray your trust unless I felt I had no other option, and in this case you are the only option. So for fuck's sake, will you just-"

"Bella." At the sound of my voice, she turned to look at me, and I saw the pain in her eyes. I stood and took her hands in mine, then guided her into the kitchen without looking back. Carlisle would wait. Bella's emotions wouldn't.

Once we were alone, she let go of me and walked over to the counter, bracing herself against the counter with her hands as she breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled as I slowly stepped towards her. "I didn't mean to…"

"I know," I whispered.

"Seeing him… It's harder than I ever imagined it would be." She bowed her head. "Part of me wants to believe he's here with genuine intentions, but the other part of me can't read him, and I don't… He's kept up his end. The whole time. He's come through. But I can't get over how he's treated you. I can't reconcile the man who didn't let me see my dad with the one who let me live with him for years and treated me like his family. Nor can I understand how he's the one who trained me and sent me on missions and is so totalitarian with his staff, and is also the one who ultimately broke his own protocols to save me even after I betrayed him."

She turned to face me again, looking so confused that my heart ached for her. "I don't understand, Edward."

"I don't understand it either," I confessed. "But that doesn't mean your instinct to involve him was wrong. What does your gut tell you?"

"That he betrayed you-"

"No." I shook my head, unable to believe the next words out of my mouth. "Ignore that. Ignore what happened between he and I, what I think of him. You have experienced him on a different level. You know him better than I ever could. So what does the part of you who knows him say?"

Bella closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them, her gaze was clear. "It says he deserves the chance to explain."

"Then we'll let him."

Bella nodded, then hesitated before reaching out a hand for me. I closed the distance between us in just a few paces, hands finding her hips as her arms looped round my neck and she pulled me in to a gentle, lingering kiss.

"Thank you," she murmured. "For getting me out of my head."

I kissed her again in reply, knowing she didn't need words. She just needed me to be there.

"Okay," she sighed after a few seconds. "Okay."

"If you start feeling overwhelmed," I told her softly, "remember I'm right here."

She nodded quickly, then pressed her lips to mine once more before taking my hand and leading me back into the living room.

Carlisle stood up as we approached and Emmett was glaring daggers at the side of Carlisle's head, but Bella put her free hand up in a placating gesture to them both. She took her place on the sofa again, but didn't release my hand. Instead, she laced our fingers and squeezed tightly, not trying to hide it from view like I had. She was showing the strength we got from each other, leaving it in plain sight for Carlisle to see.

"I apologize," she said quietly. "I'm sure you can understand none of this has been easy."

"I'd be a fool not to," Carlisle replied, and just like that, the argument was laid to rest. "You were right. You deserve to know my strategy. It's the only way it will work."

"Then start talking," Bella offered, tone softer this time. "We're willing to listen."

"In order to grasp the bigger picture, you must understand this is not something I have attempted overnight," Carlisle began. "It's been years in the making. All the pieces had to be put in place, the seeds sown… It's only in the past few months that everything has finally come together and given me the opportunity I need to bring Aro to his knees. People like Edward, in deep cover, who have slowly been feeding vital information to me over several years." Off my look, he laughed. "Yes, Edward, you're not the only person I sent in. There are several more, none of whom know of the others' existences. I had to build it that way. If one got taken down or lost, the others wouldn't be affected."

"What information have they been feeding you, Carlisle?" Emmett wanted to know.

"Bank records, finances, computer logs, surveillance, private emails sent from Aro to his suppliers, shipping containers that magically disappeared from official records only to emerge in other countries… Tiny snippets of intelligence which widened the net and showed the scope of The Volturi's influence." He looked to me. "Edward, you know how deep these tunnels run. Drug smuggling, human trafficking, the sex trade, extortion, racketeering, embezzlement, political coercion, money laundering… Each division held so separately, it would be impossible to connect the dots with admissible evidence without inside help."

"Aro designed it that way for that very reason," I agreed.

"It's why I needed to get everything in place before I could move. Just attacking one division would never be enough; they all had to be taken down at once," Carlisle continued. "The folder Rosalie found contains what I believe to be details of Senator Stanley's involvement in several less than legitimate contracts given to The Volturi to boost their presence in the construction market and pass proposals to expand the O'Bryant hotel chain in order to launder more money through it. The man she was the personal assistant for, the one who died in a 'boating accident'?"

"Jenks," Emmett supplied. I hadn't known the specifics of Rosalie's capture, so this information was new to me. Bella, however, didn't blink. Of course she didn't; she already knew when she planned the escape.

"That folder was his, but without him there to testify the information inside it would not have been enough, it would merely implicate Stanley directly. But Eleazar, Kate Denali's father, he had hard evidence against Aro. He'd been undercover for me for a while, but Aro found out before he could hand it over to me, and he paid the price dearly. Then Tanya and Irina tried to go to Chicago PD for help before I had a chance to stop them… Kate is the only one left, now."

"I know," I said sadly. "I was there when Aro discussed it. I had no idea Eleazar was one of yours."

"Hopefully Aro doesn't know who Eleazar answered to either, then," Carlisle replied. "But that brings me to you. To your testimony."

"What about it?"

"Despite its validity, nothing you say would mean anything without supporting evidence like that provided by Eleazar and hopefully Marcus," Carlisle pointed out. "I couldn't bring you out of cover too soon and put more people in the line of fire without the proof to make the whole case more than circumstantial, to take it higher than state judicial systems. To get it to a level where even The Volturi hadn't been able to reach yet."

"The Supreme Court?" Bella asked incredulously. "Do you really think-"

"Bella, I cannot even begin to explain the delicate balancing act getting to this stage has been. I cannot tell you all the details of this, and you're just going to have to accept that." When Bella didn't protest, he continued, "What I can tell you is that an understanding has been reached. Dismantling The Volturi's empire is going to take years. We'll have to chase every lead, expose every nerve… but the support will be there to help us get it done. The main concern, however, is taking down Aro. Alive."

"What about Caius? He's just as bad," I reminded him. "If anything, he's even more brutal."

"I know. Which is why I've spent so long trying to find as many key players as I can, trace every breadcrumb to its source… You've seen a lot of things during your time there, Edward, I appreciate that. But my roots have dug just as deep as theirs have. It's taken me years; I've had so many setbacks and betrayals, lost good men… but I am almost there."

Bella squeezed my hand, and I noticed her frown.

"You said you couldn't bring Edward out of cover too soon, couldn't risk putting more people in harm's way without proof…"

"Yes."

"But you eventually had that proof, from your other sources."

"I did."

Bella inhaled a shaky breath, and I knew her mind was working faster than I could keep up with.

"Once you had that proof, you no longer needed them, did you?" The words escaped her so quietly, I almost didn't hear them.

"Bella…"

"That's why you left him. Why you left her." Bella swallowed. "You didn't need them as badly anymore. The case didn't rely on them."

"No."

"You were happy to leave them both because they weren't a key part of your plan. You had enough to go ahead even without them, so you chose to abandon them. Save your resources. Retrieving them was probably an afterthought, something you could do when everything crumbled, if they survived that long." Bella shook her head. "This makes so much sense, now. The missions you sent us on… Alabama, Georgia, Texas… Taking down drug rings, traffickers, doing recon… They weren't random or unconnected. You knew exactly what you were doing."

"Yes."

"This entire time…" She squeezed my hand tightly, and I squeezed just as hard back, even if I didn't fully comprehend where this was leading. The confirmation Carlisle planned to leave me wasn't unexpected on my part, and I'd never been involved in anything outside the compound. "This entire time, all of us have been bringing your puzzle pieces to you, haven't we? The training, the missions… All of it."

"Why did you think The Agency was formed, Bella?" Carlisle asked her simply. "This has always been my aim. Always."

I felt my eyebrows raise, saw Emmett's do the same.

"If you don't need us… If we're extra pieces that just add a little extra weight to your case… Why are you here?" Bella straightened up, setting me on edge with the sudden tension in her body. "Why did you come?"

"You don't understand me, Bella," Carlisle sighed. That world weary expression stole across his face. "You've always been so consumed by being your father's daughter, by following your own moral compass… You used to trust me, but now you believe me to be this… monster. Someone who has no heart. And in many ways I am. But I have never wanted harm to come to you. I promised your father I would take care of you to the best of my ability, and though I have made mistakes... I have always done what I could for you in the end."

I wanted to say something, wanted to put myself back into the conversation somehow. But I couldn't. This was between the two of them, and I had nothing to add. I felt frozen.

"I knew what you and Emmett had planned the moment you saw your name in Edward's file. But I also knew I couldn't stop you, not when you were so set on your path. So I let you go. But Bella… I never wanted you to be so deeply involved. I didn't want you to get so close to the flames, to get burned by them… I have said so many times you are my employee, tried to distance myself from you, but you know that I have always considered you family." Carlisle played with his wedding band again. "I would not have saved you in December if I didn't care for you. The risk was too high. I would not have left you be this long if I didn't trust you could keep yourself safe; I would have come after you. That's all I have wanted. For you to be safe and out of the line of fire."

"I…" Bella closed her eyes.

"You may think I am a despicable excuse for a human being, but there was a reason I decided not to follow through on my extraction plan to send you after Edward. I was going to. I didn't lie when I told Edward I planned to send you in to retrieve him when the time was right; you may not have known about it, but I knew when the time came you'd be able to succeed in that mission. You proved me right, in the end." Carlisle's words were steady, held no hint of a lie… I couldn't process it. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "When I realized Edward's extraction would no longer be essential to my plan, I couldn't let myself send you into something so dangerous when it was no longer necessary. You may never understand or believe that, but it's the truth."

And there it was. Finally. I bit my tongue to stop myself from speaking.

"You would have left him… to keep me out of harm's way?" Bella seemed incredulous. When she turned to look at me, I saw the guilt written all over her face.

Of course he would have left me, Bella. I wasn't essential to him. You were. He chose you.

I couldn't find it in myself to be angry about that. How could he not choose her?

"Yes, I would have. It's that same motivation that has brought me here now. I wanted to come here and be confident I could make sure you'd be able to lie low until the time came for you to emerge again. I wanted to be able to offer you protection, a way to focus on your family while I cleaned up my mess. If I could do that, if I could give you that out, I would. I'd say Edward didn't have to testify, that Rosalie simply had to give me the folder, and in exchange I'd offer you safety." Carlisle sighed, gaze imploring. Bella's hand shook in mine, but I barely had the sense of mind to be able to do anything more than bring it to my lips and kiss her fingers to soothe her. "But I can't do that. Not when I have no idea who in my own number has turned against me, when I have no idea if I'd even succeed in keeping you any safer than you've kept yourselves. So, I have no choice but to involve you again and ask you for help."

It seemed to pain him to say those last words. Every image of him I'd constructed in my head was unravelling, disintegrating with every second that passed. This man wasn't the same tyrant from my memories… I could understand his motivations somewhat now. How could I be angry at him for abandoning me when I'd have done the same in his shoes, forced to choose between a stranger and Bella's safety?

"What help do you need from us?" Bella's voice was unsteady as she glanced at me. I had no idea what she saw in my face, but it seemed to give her strength, for her next words came out a little more sure sounding. "If you don't need Rosalie's folder or Edward's testimony, what do you need? We have nothing else to give you."

"Yes, you do," Carlisle told her. "You know where my daughter is."