I am sorry for the long wait but cannot promise as to when the next will be up. Please do not kill me for it.
Please leave me your thoughts. There are disappointingly few of you who do. :P
I mean come on. The last chapter had 309 visitors but 6 reviews... That is a bit depressing...
Chapter 21
The next mouth went by fast for Merlin. All her time was consumed by her duties for the King, her chores for Gaius, and taking care of Mordred, as he had taken it hard even if everyone kept telling him it was not his fault. At first he had been on the receiving end of some harsh looks and cruel remarks, but that had ended, or at the very least had toned down some, after Arthur told them what had happened and after that most of the people forgave him even if they still seemed distrustful of him and Merlin did not really blame them.
But no one was as hard on him as he himself was, he kept beating himself up over it and no matter what Merlin did she could not help him, so as time went on her anger at Morgana just grew. They were growing further apart because of his guilt and Merlin hated it. Mordred had nightmares about what he had done while under Morgana´s control but he would not tell Merlin about what he dreamt, he just got up from the bed to get dressed and then he left.
The knights had also tried talking to him but none of it helped and as such, Merlin would try one thing she had left up her sleeve before she would have to do something drastic. She had sent word to Kilgharrah and he would be there that night to talk to him, the only thing she was not comfortable with was the fact that he wanted to see Mordred alone. The dragon had promised not to hurt him but Merlin was done trusting him blindly, and she still needed to tell Mordred that Kilgharrah was coming to see him.
When Merlin was finished with her morning chores for Arthur, she set out to find her lover, if he could even be called that anymore, as he refused to touch her out of his guilt. They had only been together a few times since he had come back, and each time it had been Merlin, who had insinuated it. Before they had been together every day but that was a time passed and Merlin hoped it would come back, and that the dragon could help him realize that all he had done had only been his body doing Morgana's will, but not his mind so it had not been him.
Mordred was not very hard to find as he was on the training field at each and every opportunity he had, Merlin figured it was because he thought that if he was a better knight Morgana would never have caught him. Merlin stopped at the edge to admire him, he was training hand-to-hand combat with Percival and while Percival used his strength and size to his advantage,Mordred used it against him.
It was a warm day so they had both taken their shirts off and from Merlin's vantage point, she could see the sweat making their skin almost shine in the sun. While she could clearly see how well-proportioned Percival was with his well-defined muscles it was too much for her taste. Merlin went more towards the lean muscles that did not bulge, just like Mordred's. On him, you could see the muscles move under his skin but they did not stand out in a way that made Merlin want to use his abs as a washboard, no, on him she wanted to tease his skin with her tongueto make him flex them so she could feel them.
She frowned a little as she noticed that he had lost some weight, but she was brought out of her daydreaming by the giggling group of maids who stood a little off to the side. It was a small group she had seen trail around after Mordred the last couple of weeks, she was just able to make out some of their conversation.
"… he is so handsome, what I wouldn't give to have him in my bed."
They all sighed at that thought while Merlin rolled her eyes at them, she had heard this so many times that she was getting sick of it.
"I bet he is gentle and attentive. A dream come to life."
Merlin could not help herself and burst out laughing so hard that she had to hold her sides. Yeah he was gentle all right, one time out of ten or something like that. The girls were looking at her when she looked up from her bent over position. The one who seemed to be the leader of the group sneered at her.
"What are you laughing at? Everybody knows that you had to use magic to make him notice you."
Merlin had heard it many times over the past mouth and usually just brushed it off laughing but this time she lost it for no apparent reason. Her eyes narrowed and she jumped at the offending maid, but she was caught around the middle and pulled back against a hard body. Merlin fought the arms she was being held captive in and tried to get free, but she was held fast, she could hear calming words being said to her but she ignored them.
"MORDRED GET OVER HERE!"
Merlin kept trying to get free but it was no use so she started to call on her magic for aid, the maids stepped back in terror as her eyes started to glow gold, but before she could do anything there was a body in her line of sight. Merlin narrowed her eyes before she jerked her head to the side so the body was thrown away.
"STOP PLAYING AROUND MORDRED! YOU HAVE TO TREAT HER LIKE BEFORE!"
"But, Gwaine..."
"No Mordred! I cannot keep a hold of her and she needs you right now."
The body of whom Merlin assumed was Mordred was in front of her again, but she barely registered him only that he told the owner of the arms to let go and step back. Merlin let out a shriek and jumped forward once more, but like last time she was intercepted in the air but unlike last time she was thrown up against a nearby tree. The impact to the back of her head made her dizzy for a moment, but not so dizzy that she did not feel the fingers wrap around her neck or the body pressing against hers.
"CALM DOWN EMRYS!"
Mordred´s voice thundered through her head, even as she tried to throw him off her. Merlin tried to use magic on him again but apparently, it was more coherent than she was as it would not move him, but instead it pulled him closer to her if that was possible. Merlin´s anger slowly ebbed away as she felt his teeth nibble on her neck, her hands acted on their own accord and grasped the back of his head and forced his mouth to hers. Merlin let out a low moan when his tongue entered her mouth and started to tease hers into play.
Merlin felt like she was flying on a cloud of sensations as Mordred pressed his arousal against her, one of her hands glided down his neck and back. She was just about to sneak a hand down his trousers when a throat cleared nearby and Gwaine started to talk.
"Ehm guys, this is a little public even for you. You might want to stop that."
Merlin whimpered a bit when Mordred pulled back before groaning and resting his forehead on her shoulder, which made Merlin able to look over it to the audience. She felt the heat raise to her cheeks in shame and mortification at all the people who was staring at them with open mouths, there were so many more than before she lost her temper. The maids who had started it all were staring at both Merlin and Mordred in equal horror and Merlin could not help the small satisfaction she felt when she realized that they had just witnessed a side of Mordred they had not thought possible. A side that they did not like, if their earlier conversation about him being gentle was anything to go by.
Yes, Mordred was gentle but he was also cruel and harsh, but those were all things Merlin loved about him. Gwaine stood laughing his ass off at them and Merlin made a silent vow that the next time he stumbled drunk into Mordred and hers room she would not help him find his bed. No, she would help him to the doghouse and leave him there.
Merlin did not have time to take more of the scenery in as Arthur came running with a servant hot on his heels, however the King stopped when he reached the group and looked around with a confused look, which he would probably never admit to. Merlin felt herself get more red in the face as his eyes traveled from the still laughing Gwaine to Mordred who still had his head on her shoulder, a hand around her throat and one on her hip. The King narrowed his eyes at the hand around her neck that was just visible from the onlooker's point of view.
"Mordred! What are you doing? Let go of Merlin´s throat!"
Merlin felt like hitting the King when he barked at Mordred because Mordred stiffened in her arms and pulled back, but Merlin also felt his magic retreating away from hers and she was left feeling cold and lonely.
"Merlin, are you okay? I was told that you lost control but then I get here and it is clearly Mordred who was out of control."
Merlin just stood staring at the King trying to make sense of what had just happened, one moment she had been fine checking Mordred out and the next she flew into a rage, only to then be brought into a frenzy of unsatisfied lust. Gwaine snorted to the side before he answered Arthur in Merlin´s place.
"Yeah princess she is fine. She was the one who lost it. In addition, Mordred did lose control but not the way you think. That there was actually the most normal I have seen him since Camlann. What are you people staring at? Don't you have something better to do?"
Even though Mordred had retreated into a shell of sorts Merlin was able to feel his slight shock that Gwaine thought he had not been acting normal beforehand. Merlin felt his magic wrap around her in a familiar way that sent tingles down her spine, she felt him gently probe her mind in a way to ask permission. Merlin could not help smile that he was gentle considering this whole mess had started because of how rarely he was it.
"What does he mean I have not been acting like myself?"
"What? You cannot seriously think that the way you have been for the last month is normal for you? You have been like a shadow of yourself. Now that we are at it, Kilgharrah would like to talk to you tonight but alone. I do not think that he will harm you as he has promised not to."
"That is very rude doing that."
Arthur talking to her, while he had his arms crossed over his chest startled Merlin out of her thoughts. Had he asked her something? She really had no idea. The last couple of days she had been a little scatterbrained, even if Arthur kept insisting that being scatterbrained was normal for her.
"Excuse me Sire?"
"That talking in your minds thing. It is very rude to the people around you, just for your information. Come on Merlin we have to talk for a moment, and considering that you have the time to be out here you have the time to come with me."
With that, the King turned and walked away, like always just expecting Merlin to keep up, but Merlin just stood staring after him with what she assumed was a very dumb look on her face.
"I am not a puppy. Do I look like a puppy to either of you?"
"Merlin!"
Merlin glared in the direction Arthurs shout had come from.
"And he thinks that yelling at me is going to make me come faster? Really? It is like the man doesn't even know me. I never do as I am told."
"MERLIN!"
"Fine, fine I am coming. There is no need for yelling."
Gwaine started a full belly laugh as Merlin muttered to herself while almost falling over her feet in her haste to kiss Mordred before she ran after the King, Mordred in turn just smiled at her. Merlin ran around the corner of the training field and collided with another body; she fell back and landed on her ass. As she sat there trying to rub her sore behind she heard a chuckle from above her, she looked up as a hand reached down to her. Leon pulled her to her feet while still laughing softly at her.
"One would think that with all the power you have, that you would be able to stay on your feet little sister."
"Power and balance have nothing to do with each other. It is sad but it is true."
"MERLIN!"
Leon started laughing harder at the face she pulled over being bellowed at again.
"STOP BELLOWING AT ME YOU BIG OAF! I am sorry Leon but as you can hear our mighty King cannot do without me."
Leon waved at her when she ran off once more. She caught up with the King just before he reached the castle, because the courtyard had been filled with people so she had had to zigzag in between them.
Merlin followed Arthur to his and Gwen´s chambers where he sat down at the table and indicated that she should do the same. Merlin looked everywhere else but at the King, who sat in front of her rubbing the bridge of his nose, Arthur cleared his throat and Merlin could not avoid looking at him. The King was looking at her with concerned eyes that Merlin had come to hate very fast, they meant that he was making things that had nothing to do with him his business.
"What happened, Merlin? You are not normally one to lose your temper."
"I don't know. One minute I was fine, the next Stacy had just made me so mad I wanted to rip out her throat. It was nothing really, just something I have heard before but usually I just brush it off, I don't know why it made such an impact today."
"What did she say Merlin?"
"She just said some bull about me using magic on Mordred because it would be the only way he would ever be with me."
Merlin felt stupid just saying it aloud, as she was well aware that there was no reason to lose her head over something as silly as a maid who was jealous of her relationship with Mordred. Apparently, she was not the only one as Arthur burst out laughing at her.
"You got so mad over that? Do you even have any idea how many of the maids have tried to tell Gwen that very same thing, since they learned of your magic? But really Merlin, you cannot let your anger get the best of you like that, it will cause unnecessarily panic and the people are just starting to accept the magical community. We cannot afford it."
Merlin glared at him. Did he not think that she knew that it was a bad idea to lose her head? He had been extremely mad when he had found out she was the source of the destroyed buildings in the lower city, just because he had understood why she had lost control that time did not mean that he condoned it. She had had to muck out the whole stable without magic as a way to learn a lesson, Merlin would have preferred to be thrown in the stocks but had a suspicion that Arthur knew that, which was probably the reason he did not do it. Arthur knew she hated to muck out the stables, so in the end Merlin knew it was the perfect punishment but she still hated it. Merlin did not answer the King as she saw no point in saying what he already knew.
"One more thing Merlin before you can get back to your chores. Gwaine said that it was normal, Mordred chocking you I mean. Is that true and if it is, why are you with him if he abuses you? And do not lie to me."
Merlin groaned and hid her face behind her hands when she felt her face heat up in embarrassment. It was one thing that Gwaine knew they had some slightly weird tendencies; she did not need her best friend knowing considering how protective he was of her. Nevertheless, as there was no way that she could not give him some kind of answer; she had to at least give him some of the truth.
"Ehm Arthur, are you sure you want to know that? Fine, fine stop glaring at me you clotpole. Gwaine told you some time ago that he had walked in on us more than once, so how about you just take his word for it?"
Arthur looked at her with a shocked look on his face and if Merlin had not been so embarrassed, she would have laughed at him, as it was she just felt her ears burning.
"So not only are you saying that it is normal but that you like it? Merlin something is very wrong with you."
"Oi! I am willing to bet that if I were to ask Gwen she could tell me some weird stuff you like."
At that, Merlin did start laughing at the King because he had a terrified look on his face, which told Merlin that she was in no way the only one in the room who had some desires that were beyond the norm. She jumped up from the chair while she had a smile of triumph on her face.
"I´ll just go now, I have some chores to do for an unreasonably demanding King, and I have a Queen to talk to."
"MERLIN! You will do no such thing. MERLIN!"
Merlin had only just ducked out of the door when she heard something hard make impact with it, out of curiosity she stuck her head back inside to see what he had thrown at her this time. Right beside the door there laid a shattered vase on the floor; Merlin raised her eyebrows at Arthur who sat glaring at her at the table with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Really? A vase? That would really have hurt if you had managed to hit me with it, what will Gwen say when I tell her you shattered it?"
Merlin had the door closed again in record time as Arthur had picked up a goblet to throw at her; Merlin heard the impact of it on the door as she ran down the hall. She did not intend to ask Gwen about what turned Arthur on, as there were some things she just did not want to know about one of her self-proclaimed brothers, but it sure was fun to tease him about it.
As she slowed down to a walk her thoughts drifted back to the training field, not to Stacy and her friends but to Mordred, Mordred who had had her pressed up against a tree so she could feel his hard-on. Just thinking about it made a tingle run down the length of her spine, she was sure that had Gwaine not said anything when he had she would have ended up a hell of a lot more embarrassed than she did.
She could picture how it would have gone if they had been in their room, or the way she hoped it would have gone, as there was no saying with Mordred being in the mental state he was. In her mind she would have ended up on her knees in front of him, just the very notion of it could almost make her feel him throbbing in her mouth, his hands in her hair.
Merlin was so caught up in her own thoughts that she never noticed the hand grabbing her arm and pulling her into a broom closet, so she let out a loud shriek in surprise but was silenced by a hungry mouth devouring hers as she was pressed against a wall. She was however calmed down when she smelt the forest and her magic started to scream in pleasure at the contact. Merlin let out a low moan as her hands found their way into his hair, she received a frustrated groan in return as Mordred pressed his arousal up against her.
Merlin felt Mordred´s hands starting to pull her skirts up and at that moment Merlin did not care that they were in some closet,all she could think about was feeling him in her. Merlin let go of his hair and pushed him away from her long enough to free his erection, one of her legs was pulled up to his hip by one of his hands while his other hand covered her mouth. Merlin pulled Mordred in closer as she grabbed his dick as to guide it to her already soaking center, when she felt the blunt head at her entrance she let go of him at the same time as he pushed hard into her.
Merlin screamed in delight into his hand while she tried to hold onto his shoulders, which proved hard as he was driving into her at a fierce pace that she could barely keep up with due to their position. Mordred kept whispering nonsense into her ear that she had no way of deciphering, as the only thing she could hear was the blood rushing though her head and skin slapping against skin. Even if she knew that Mordred was not all the way back to himself yet it felt like he was on the mend now, and hopefully Kilgharrah could help him further along.
Merlin was starting to have trouble breathing as Mordred´s hand had moved up a bit so Merlin´s nostrils were covered by his hand, but before Merlin could make him aware of it his hand moved away from her mouth and into her hair to pull her head back. Merlin´s head followed on its own accord so her neck was bared, she felt him starting to nibble at it as his thrusts became more frantic signaling his coming orgasm.
Merlin´s own orgasm came as a shock for her because she was in no way near ready for it, it was like it snuck up on her while she was occupied by Mordred's groan in her ear, and his voice in her head telling her that he loved her. There were still stars behind Merlin´s eyelids as Mordred stilled inside of her, her head was leaned against the wall behind her as Mordred kept kissing her throat, and she had a little smile on her face as Mordred pulled back to look at her.
Merlin felt him lower her leg to the ground once more and it was only then that she realized how much her other leg was shaking with exhaustion. Merlin felt Mordred´s fingers caress her chin so she opened her eyes to look at him, or in that case, try to look at him as the closetwas shrouded in darkness. Her eyes started to glow a soft orange as she conjured her small globe of blue light, Mordred was looking at her with a soft smile before he kissed her as he pulled out of her.
Even if he was no longer hard, Merlin groaned in disappointment over the empty feeling he left behind, Mordred only chuckled at her reaction but Merlin knew he felt the same as she did at that moment.
"I missed you Merlin, I might not remember all from that time but I do remember the feeling that something was missing, and that something was you."
Merlin had no idea what she was supposed to say to that, if she said she had missed him too, it would be like cheapening what he went through. She herself had no other recollection than darkness so the way she saw it she had been the lucky one. Therefore, instead of saying anything, she just smiled at him and kissed him before she started to put her dress right, in the meantime she could see Mordred pull his trousers up once more.
"Am I going to see you before you are going to see Kilgharrah?"
"Probably not, as I would like to be back before the sun comes up, so I will leave when it sets. But rest assured that I will hold you when I get back or would you like to sleep in your old room tonight? I know that Gaius has requested that you help him in the morning."
Merlin had completely forgotten that she had promised to help Gaius as he was going to one of the druid camps to see a man that their healers could not heal. The only reason that she was coming with him was because she was Emrys, and it would do them good to see that she was not indifferent to them.
"I'll be in our room of course. Nevertheless, I really have to go now, as I have to get Arthur's laundry before I have to do all the chores he has set for me in the afternoon."
Mordred snuck out after looking to see if there was anyone out in the hall whereas Merlin waited for a little while before leaving herself. While she waited, she tried to figure out how it had happened that she was the one with chores to do, but somehow she was the one stuck in a closet. Merlin had only just closed the door behind her, when she heard a giggle a little away from her, but not so long away that they had not seen her.
"Well Merlin I don't even have to ask what you were doing in there. I saw Mordred coming from this way looking like he had just, ehm, well like is was late at night, I mean not that I know what he looks like after…"
Merlin could not contain her laughter as Gwen tried to find the words she was looking for. Merlin turned to Gwen and noticed the other woman was blushing, which in turn made her realize that now there was one more that had caught her and Mordred, but at least she had not walked in on them in the act.
"But ehm Merlin... You might want to do something about your hair and fix your neckerchief. Your hair is a mess and you have bite marks up and down your neck."
Merlin felt the heat raise to her face as her hands flew to her hair and groaned as she felt what felt like a birds nest instead of hair. She tried to fix it but she had no idea how to go about it, as she had no mirror but Gwen seemed to know that she had trouble with it, so she helped her make a fast braid and tied it off with a leather string. The neckerchief was however not a problem, as it was just a question of wrapping it around her neck one more time.
The afternoon went slow for Merlin, as she was nervous about Mordred's impending meeting with Kilgharrah. Arthur kept looking at her like he was trying to figure something out, and Merlin found it quite creepy, until she saw him look at Gwen the same way, only then did she find out that he thought she really had asked Gwen about what turned him on. Then she had laughed a full on belly laugh at him which caused her to get a pillow to the face, but she was in too high of spirits over him freaking out to mind.
However, of course she could not let him get away with it, so when she helped him with his evening bath she kept changing the temperature of the water, but Arthur did not seem to appreciate her humor so he ended up bellowing at her to get out. Merlin had laughed all the way back to Mordred's and hers chambers. She was almost there when she felt Mordred entered her mind.
"The sun is down so I will go see what your kind wants with me. I hope that it will not take too long as I long to hold you in my arms my love. Sleep well."
Merlin felt ghost lips brush her cheek and almost yelped when she felt an unexpected hand caress her ass, she spun around to see who she was going to yell at for it, but she then felt as much as heard Mordred chuckle at her so she decided to try something she had never done before. She imagined her tongue twirling around the head of his dick before sucking it into her mouth.
Merlin reached their room while she kept her mental torture of her lover up; when she had the door closed, she leaned against it and could almost feel Mordred against her. It was slightly weird to be able to feel him when there was nothing there, but even if she could not touch him or him her she felt him none the less.
She could feel how he breathed into her ear as he whispered to her, where his hands would have been on her hips had he been there. She even imagined she could feel his hardness against her.
"You, my love, are starting a game you will not win. You do chores all day whereas I have guard duties, something that can be very boring and the mind can easily wander. See you later my sweet."
With that, he pulled out of her mind leaving Merlin frustrated as she took off her clothes, she did not bother with a nightgown, as there was no reason when she was sleeping there. Before the whole Morgana thing, she would have lost it at some point during the night anyway.
It was almost sunrise before she fell asleep as she kept feeling Mordred´s emotions change throughout the night, on the front she had felt nothing but calm from him but underneath there had been desperation, sadness, guilt and so on. Merlin did not fall asleep before it stayed content; she hoped that it meant that Kilgharrah had been able to help her love.
She barely registered that Mordred came to bed, gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head before she fell asleep once more.