Posting early as thanks to carryonmywaywardbutt for your review yesterday : ) It's great to know which parts people find interesting. The next four chapters have more Andy, starting tomorrow : )
And thank you to the other guest reviewers, looks like I'll be posting early for a few days - I really appreciate the feedback! : )
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Wednesday May 11
- Lily -
When Lily padded downstairs on Wednesday morning, Potter met her with his usual big grin. You'd think seeing Lily come down the stairs would have gotten old by now.
"How's Black?" Lily said, which wiped the smile off Potter's face.
"Unbearable, as usual," Potter said, his grin returning. Lily laughed despite herself. Potter and Lily sat down facing each other. "He's decided the girl meant to Love Potion him for herself."
"That's a pretty big mistake," Lily said, raising an eyebrow.
"Indeed," Potter said, still smiling. "But that's Sirius."
"Are you implying that Black is the arrogant one when it comes to girls?" Lily said sarcastically.
Potter, scenting danger, looked down at the list in his hand. "So," he said, looking up at Lily.
"So," Lily agreed. There was a pause. "Off you go then," Lily said.
"Why do I always have to go first?" Potter said.
"Because it's your game."
"True." Potter took a deep breath. "This secret is a bit more… sensitive."
Lily raised an eyebrow again. "Oh?"
Potter swallowed and continued. "You once asked, 'Why do you always pick on Snape?'"
Lily tensed. She wasn't sure she wanted to go into this with Potter.
"Well," Potter said, leaning back in his seat, "apart from the fact he's up to his eyeballs in the dark arts-"
"I wish you wouldn't say that," Lily interrupted, scowling.
"But it's true," Potter said in surprise.
"I know its true," Lily snapped, "I just don't like the saying."
Potter paused for a half a beat, then said, "I'm sorry. Consider it unsaid."
Lily blinked at her unexpected victory.
"Yeah, well," Potter continued, "and then when he called you… that awful name… I was so mad at him," Potter growled. "It just rises up inside me every time I see him."
Potter clenched his fists in front of him to illustrate his anger.
"That's it?" Lily snapped. "That's your justification for hexing someone?"
"Er…" said Potter, looking confused.
"You don't think it upset me?" Lily demanded.
"Well, of course it-"
"And do you see me hexing Snape every opportunity I get?"
"Well, no, but that's not really how you handle things, is it?" Potter said awkwardly.
"No," Lily breathed. "And you know why? Because decent people don't solve their problems with curses!"
"But he hexes me, too!" Potter protested.
"And he called me a bad name," Lily shot back. "But do you see me going around calling him bad names?"
"Er, no."
"No, that's right. Because I chose to be the bigger person."
There was an awkward silence, where Potter shifted in his seat and looked unconvinced.
Lily scowled. "Let's get this over with so you can leave me alone." She consulted her own list, frowning. Lily was fast running out of the less intrusive questions. "You once asked, 'Why do you try so hard at everything?' The answer is, to make my parents proud. Now, your answer was stupid and big headed, so I win. You can leave me alone now, Potter."
Lily grabbed her book and turned away from him.
"Wait, not so fast," Potter said quickly. "That's not a secret!"
"It's the answer to the question you wrote," Lily replied shortly.
"But my answer was all vulnerable and stuff," Potter insisted. "Even if you think it was stupid."
"That was your choice," Lily said, now opening her book.
"No, wait. Tell me more," Potter said. "Tell me about your parents. Why do you want to make them proud?"
Lily shot Potter an exasperated look. "Why? Because they're my parents…"
"But surely they'll be proud of you no matter what you do?"
Lily gave Potter a blank look. "What, even if I fail all my subjects or don't put in any effort at all?"
"They'll be proud of you for who you are," Potter said patiently.
Lily scoffed. "Is that what your parents tell you?"
Potter looked hurt. Lily rushed on.
"Look, I didn't grow up like you did, Potter. My family wasn't wealthy when I was young. I learned early that you worked hard for everything you got. We couldn't afford the tuition at Hogwarts, but my parents insisted I come. So they scraped together enough money for first year, and after that I earned a scholarship. If I don't work hard, I'll be throwing that scholarship away. Not to mention the sacrifice of the first year's tuition cost. So yeah, I work hard to make something of myself, to make a future for myself, to be someone my parents can be proud of."
"Well, I'm sure your parents are proud of you," Potter said, smiling tentatively. "And what about your sister?"
"Petunia?" Lily said, rolling her eyes. "She'd prefer if I did a little less well. Or if I wasn't a witch. It would be easier if my parents didn't make such a big deal out of it."
Potter was just watching her. Lily shrugged and crossed her arms.
"Well, now you know the whole sorry story of poor muggle-bred Lily Evans, scholarship student and freak."
"You're not a freak," Potter said tenderly. "You're an amazing witch who-"
"I'm done for today, Potter," Lily said tersely. "It's hard enough telling you about my non-Hogwarts life, I don't want a running commentary, too."
Potter snapped his mouth shut and swallowed. "Of course," he said.
And to Lily's surprise, Potter stood and walked back to the boys' staircase without another word.
Lily pursed her lips as she watched him go. Was Potter being sensitive and understanding, or was he just making sure she shared another secret with him tomorrow? Lily grit her teeth, thinking about all she'd revealed to Potter today. He'd better keep his promise and not tell anyone anything.
Ready to escape reality for a while, Lily curled up tightly on the couch and opened her book. A few minutes later Lily had sunk deep into someone else's world and her tension began to flow out of her. How did anyone survive without books?
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- Sirius -
Sirius was dreaming about lunch as he left Transfiguration. He hoped it was something good, like meat balls or a nice juicy roast – Sirius was starving. James was dawdling. Evans had had trouble with today's lesson and had stayed behind to get some tips from Professor McGonagall. James was loitering, probably hoping to wrangle at tutoring session out of the situation.
Sirius leaned against the wall impatiently. Two Ravenclaws and a trio of Hufflepuffs passed him on their way to lunch. Lucky bast-
Sirius pushed off the wall suddenly, watching a long blonde plait swaying on the middle Hufflepuff girl.
"Hey!" he shouted, causing all five students to turn. "Not you," Sirius snapped at the Ravenclaw guys, waving them away. "You," he said, staring at the girl with the plait. She was a prefect, right?
"I'll meet you at lunch," the girl told her friends, one of whom was eying Sirius off with a playful smile.
The prefect wandered towards Sirius, eyes on his.
"Sirius Black," she declared, stopping in front of him. Sirius smirked at her.
"And you are?"
"Amelia Bones," she replied, one hand on her hip.
"Mmm," Sirius said, looking her up and down appreciatively. She was a bit uptight, perhaps, but passably pretty. Despite her square jaw and mud-brown eyes, Sirius wouldn't say no to a private snog with her. In fact, had they already…?
"Have we met before?" Sirius said, leaning causally against the wall, cleverly angling himself just a little closer to her. "Apart from you dosing me with Love Potion yesterday?"
"You mean asides from all the times I've caught you out after curfew?" Bones said, unamused. She took a step back.
"Yeah, I mean in a more… social way," Sirius said, winking flirtatiously at her. "Because if you wanted to… get to know each other, there are easier ways than using a Love Potion."
"Is that what you think I was trying to do?" Bones said, taking another step back and eying Sirius with an emotion he couldn't quite place. "Why would I make a potion directed at McGonagall, then?"
"Well," Sirius said, smiling generously, "we all make mistakes."
Bones' eyebrows rose. "You really believe that, don't you, Black?"
"Well, yes," Sirius said, a bit confused. "We do all make mistakes. I mean, I might not make as many as the next person, but-"
Bones shook her head. "That is not what I meant."
Sirius hesitated. Bones was a confusing girl.
"Fine," Sirius said, pushing off from the wall and crossing his arms. "Why did you Love Potion me, then?"
Bones also crossed her arms.
"It was supposed to be a dose of your own medicine."
Sirius chuckled. "I think you're confused, Miss Bones. Sirius Black has no need of Love Potions, girls just fall at my feet-"
"It was meant to make you make a fool of yourself," Bones snapped. "Which it did. But unfortunately that robust reputation of yours let you bounce right back."
"Er," said Sirius. "Is that a bad thing?"
"You have a somewhat different reputation among the girls of Hufflepuff, Sirius Black," Bones told him, both hands on her hips now. "A reputation for making girls cry, for standing girls up, for stealing and breaking hearts so thoroughly and callously that girls make a fool of themselves over you. It was high time you got what was coming to you."
Sirius stared at her. All the pieces slowly fell into place.
"So… the crying hex, the string of Hufflepuff girls by the lake, that was all you?"
Bones crossed her arms and tossed her plait over her shoulder.
"It was all… revenge?"
"Punishment," Bones replied. "We were only giving you what you deserved. Perhaps now you'll stay away from Hufflepuff girls."
Bones turned on her heel and started walking away.
"And what's to stop Hufflepuffs coming after me?" Sirius called after her. "Because you know they want to."
Bones stopped, turned and glared at Sirius.
"Then you'll just have to turn them away. I can make you regret your decisions, Sirius Black. I'm only just getting started."
And with that, Bones sauntered away.
Sirius watched her swaying hips as she left, intrigued, for once, by more than her appearance.
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- Remus -
That night Sirius was quieter than usual. James had extra tutoring students since exams were coming up, but usually Sirius found a noisy or troublesome activity to keep him occupied while he waited – fanged frisbee was one of his favourites, or at least a game of gobstones with Peter. Or, if he was feeling in need of a pick me up, Sirius went off to find a 'tutoring' student of his own.
Tonight, however, Sirius was sitting looking into the fire, eating the occasional macaroon from their stack on the low table. Remus watched him thoughtfully. What could have happened to put Sirius Black out of sorts?
"You ready?" Lily was standing behind Remus' chair. Remus jumped up. He'd forgotten prefect patrol.
"Yes. Of course."
Lily led the way out of the portrait hole. They headed off on their usual route. Remus hadn't told Emma he had patrol duty. He'd clean forgotten. And he'd been so looking forward to seeing her again tonight. Would she miss him?
"So," Lily said, jarring Remus out of his thoughts as they turned down another corridor, "who's the girl?"
"What girl?" Remus said, too quickly.
Lily raised her eyebrows at him.
"I get if you don't want to share," Lily said, "but don't pretend there's no girl, Remus. I've seen you sneaking off late every night."
Remus flushed. "It's not like that," he said. "We just… chat."
"Mmm hmm," Lily said, not looking at him.
"Really," Remus said. "We just… talk. There's something about having someone you can… trust, I guess. Have you ever told something really true, kind of secret, to someone you never thought you would?"
Lily hesitated, slowing her walk a bit.
"Maybe," she said.
Remus looked at her curiously. Lily shrugged.
"I guess it could be… therapeutic."
"And there's something fun about the risk of it," Remus said, thinking back to those first secrets he'd shared, back when Emma was still 'Vance'.
Lily raised an eyebrow.
"So you and your lady friend… you're just having some deep and meaningful conversations, huh?"
"Yes," Remus said firmly. Then he hesitated. No, that wasn't entirely true. And did he even want that to be the whole truth? Remus was out of his depth, and this wasn't the sort of relationship any of the Marauders could help with. If he wanted advice on kissing a girl, or getting her alone, the boys would be the first ones he asked. But this?
"Lily, you're a girl," Remus said hesitantly.
"Last time I checked," Lily said, amused. "Why?"
"Well, if a girl is asking a guy about his girlfriends, or lack of… no, never mind," Remus trailed off, feeling stupid.
Lily was silent for a moment. Then she stopped walking altogether and turned to Remus.
"Well, let me put it this way," Lily said. "If I was asking a guy if he had a girlfriend, there would be a very good reason behind it."
And to Remus' surprise, Lily winked, grinned and kept walking. It took Remus a beat to unfreeze and join her. It was just so… not Lily. Lily Evans was kind and clever and confident. But she wasn't happy and playful without a reason.
"So," Remus said, falling into step with Lily. "How are things between you and James?"
Lily's head snapped back to Remus, her faint smile wiped away. Remus cursed his lack of tact. Real smooth, Moony.
"Why?" Lily demanded.
"I just noticed you haven't been fighting as much," Remus said, smiling apologetically.
"Right. Well, yeah," Lily said, looking away from Remus again. "He's been leaving me alone."
"Oh has he?" Remus said thoughtfully. "That doesn't sound like James."
"Maybe he's learnt his lesson," Lily said. Her tone made it clear the topic was closed. Remus respected her wish.
His own thoughts wandered back to Emma. Did she have a good reason for asking him about his lack of girlfriends? Did she want to be his girlfriend? Remus' heart skipped a beat as he imagined it. Being able to hold her hand, push her unruly hair behind her ears, hold her when she was sad. Kiss her…
Remus blinked and tried to clear his mind. He wasn't getting involved with a girl, he reminded himself sternly. Not a serious relationship, anyway. It wasn't fair to drag her into a false commitment that he wouldn't be able to keep. Remus wouldn't want anyone to share his gloomy future, or the dangers of his furry little problem. He wouldn't be able to hold down a job, would be ostracised by the community…
Not that Emma wanted to marry him, Remus chided himself. If she even liked him like that. But the idea of sharing any part of his life with Emma was certainly tempting. As much as Remus had been trying to deny it, he knew he'd fallen hard for Emmeline Vance.
He enjoyed spending time with her far too much, far more than he enjoyed time with the Marauders or Lily. He missed her when they weren't together, counted down the hours to see her again, looked forward to their slightly risky secret sharing. Part of him even wanted to share his deepest secret with her – with Emma, Remus felt there was a chance she wouldn't abandon him. That she might be the fifth person in his life who knew the truth and didn't see him differently for it.
But, Remus reminded himself with a sigh, he had these rules for a reason. It wasn't just to protect other people from getting hurt. It was to protect himself. So Remus pushed the idea out of his mind and began mentally reciting all of the Herbology plants he'd need to know for his exams. Remus Lupin was nothing if not disciplined.