EPOV

Who could I talk to?

It´s not that I don't have friends that I can talk to, but not about this. This is something I would talk to Jasper about, but then Alice would know and I´m not sure if I want her to know. And that's some kind of a first for me. I never keep things from Alice on purpose. Well kind of never. Then I think about the few things Alice doesn't know and they all have something to do with Bella.

So if I don't want Alice to know, that rules out Rose and Jasper. Not that I would consider Rose, but she would say what's on her mind if I were to speak to her.

Mike and those guys are out of the question because most of them would love to date Bella themselves.

So who am I left with?

Just one person really and the only one that can help me with this.

So I make a u-turn and head back to town. It doesn't take long before I´m parked in front of the house. I look up at it and wonder how was I going to do this?

It´s not like we are that good of friends or that we know each other that well. But what it comes down to is that this is the only person that can answer my questions.

I take deep breath and get out of my car. I can feel the nerves take over more and more as I get closer to the door. It doesn`t take that long before I´m standing in front of the door. I just stand there and stare at that door. I wonder how long I can stand here before I totally lose my nerve and just leave? With that thought in my head I take another deep breath and knock on the door.

I just stand there shifting from one leg to the another. I can't hear anything from the other side, but I´m not really laying my ear to the door to listen either. I knock once more before I just turn to leave, thinking maybe this isn't the best idea I have ever had.

This time I hear a voice saying something like, "yea, yea. I'm coming.." But I´m not 100% sure.

It doesn't take long before the door opens with a, "Charlie isn't here..." She hasn´t seen me yet.

"Good." She looks up at me through her eyelashes. Her brown eyes focus on me and all I want to do is drown in them.

She starts to bite on her lower lip. "Hey" she says releasing me from of the spell of her eyes. She blushes beautifully. Her cheeks turn this majestic pink color.

"What are you doing here?" I don't even get to reply before her forehead wrinkles and she starts talking again. Or more like rambling. "Did you even drive home? I mean you couldn´t have gotten to your place and back? Or could you? No, you couldn´t. So what are you doing here? You haven´t been here the whole time have you?"

I don't think she has even taken a breath yet. It´s like she´s nervous or something. That of course helps me. My nerves have settled a little and almost disappeared completely.

"No... " I couldn´t really remember all her questions and didn´t even know if any of them really were for me. So how could I go on?

"What are you doing here Edward?"

"I need to talk to you." She just looked at me. I started to shift from one leg to the other again as my nerves were getting the best of me. Bella just looked at me and it started to freak me out. "Uhm.. I can go if you don't want to talk to me. I didn´t mean that you had to. It's just that I need to talk to you, but if you don't want to I can just go. I didn´t mean that you had to... It's just... "

Bella took my hand. "It okay, just stop rambling for a sec."

She led me through the door and into the kitchen. "I need to start dinner if that's okay." She looked me right in the eyes as she said it. It was a little humor in the eyes.

"What´s funny?" She started to blush then turned away.

"Nothing really." She said and looked at me over her shoulder as she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Okay now I know your lying. Come on tell me what´s so funny." She started to laugh a little.

"It´s just weird seeing you like that. Your always so picture perfect, so it´s nice to see that you can be nervous also." She shook her head and kept going. "But I can't really for the life of me figure out why your nervous."

"Never?" I just stared at her not believing what she was saying. " I have to have been nervous sometimes. I mean... never?"

Bella just shook her head and started to cut up some vegetables. I had been nervous around her before, I had to hadn´t I? I sat there mulling over what she had said. Her comment about me being picture perfect came to me and I started to smile, at first. But it could be a negative thing too, I mean who wants to be with someone that is perfect?

"Picture Perfect?"

"Yeah, picture perfect." She looked at me biting her lip. "It's not a bad thing Edward."

"Oh no?" I could hear the disbelief in my voice.

"Not really." She said and sat down on the stool next to mine. "I used picture perfect because I know that you have faults just like everyone else, but to someone who doesn't know you they would say that your perfect."

I didn´t know if this was bad or good. It´s not that I didn´t know that I wasn´t perfect, but when it´s said like that I got the feeling that it was really bad.

"Your thinking too much." I was about to protest, but she lifted her hand to signal that I should let her keep going. "Your competitive. Always have been and always will be. You have a temper that can be pretty bad at times. You used to anyway. I don't know if you still do but you used to over think everything or at least a lot of things."

"Yea that doesn't bad at all." I did now know that Bella didn´t have a thing for me. How could she? It´s not that she´s perfect, but you just don't point out the faults of someone if you have ... if you wanted to... well if you wanted to date the other person? If you have feelings for said person, right? Or am I wrong here?

"It´s not. That is just what I see. And what it´s like three things, I mean three really. You have some many more good qualities." she was looking at me, straight in the eyes when she said it.

"Yea three bad things. You didn´t even have to think about them, they just flew right out of your mouth."

"So what Edward that just proves that I know you. You want to know the good things I see in you? Cause I have them to. You're a straight A student. Your protective and caring of Alice and you parents, and well everyone you care for actually. You don't take bullshit from anyone. Your friendly and honest. Your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you're really interested in. You are unbelievably good looking. You know what, I going to stop there and not say anymore because I´m not going to give your ego an even bigger boost than I already did."

I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. Okay the two first was just fact and had nothing to do with my good sides. But really who cares, she thinks I´m good looking? So maybe I have shot with her after all!

"Everybody has good and bad sides Edward. We just have to live with it." she paused a little without looking at me. All I could think about was that Bella thought I was good looking. "But I´m guessing this isn´t what you wanted to talk about."

Right, I was here to fix things, to know that we were good. The problem was that I knew that we were okay now, without having to talk about it. So I didn't really want to say anything about it anymore. I just wanted to know why she was in such a hurry to get away from me earlier and run from the car.

"Uh... Yea that´s, well... it´s not really important now." Bella stood up from her chair and turned her back to me and got back to the vegetables.

"Okay" I could hear it in her voice that she didn´t care, but there was something else in her voice as well.

"It´s just... I mean it´s not important."

"I said it was Okay, so you know your way out right?" She was throwing me out, her voice wasn´t stern. But she hadn´t more than finished saying it before her voice was low and soft, as she said, "I will see you at school?"

"NO!" This was not the way this was ending. No way. Bella turned and was about to say something but I cut her off, "NO. I´m not going not like this. Why do you go all hot and cold all the time? You did it just now and you did it when you got out of the car. Why?"

She just started to laugh. Doing it again, her moods were all over the place. "Do you want to know why?" I just nodded, not really sure what I should say. But one thing I was sure about. I really wanted to know. Or maybe not, not if it had something to do with me or if it was because of me.

Bella stood there looking kind of shy, biting her lip. Her eyes looking everywhere but at me. Then I heard her low voice just little louder than a whisper say, "Guilt."

I just looked at her. That was the last thing I would have guessed. No I would never had guessed that. "Why?"

She lowered her head, "I feel guilty more or less all the time. Sometimes it´s stronger than others. That´s why I go kind of hot and cold as you called it.

"What do you feel guilty about?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I nodded. She looked at me with disbelieving eyes. Or was it really written all over her face.

"First there`s that little thing I did with not keeping in touch with Alice. Then I come back and try to play it cool and that just made things worse than they were. After that I somehow ended up becoming friends with Rose and Jasper, who are Alice´s best friend and boyfriend." She huffed and I was about to say something, but she kept going. "And to top everything off and make them just that much worse I become friends with you." She looked right at me as she said it and I would be lying if I said it wasn´t like a hit in the stomach. This was just like a roller coaster. She built up my hope to then take it all away again. Not that I think that she knew she did it but even so, she did.

"I wish I was six years old again." she whispered. I just looked at her asking with my eyes what she meant by it and she answered. "It was much easier to make up and become friends again at that age."

I just nodded and smiled. It sure was, but if we were six she would have hated me. Now she didn´t, and I like that.

I looked up at Bella standing there looking at the floor and twinning the towel she was holding. She looked so unsure of herself. But even now she looked beautiful. Her hair up in a ponytail, some had fallen out, but still she was just lovely.

I stood up and walked over to her. Our shoulders touched and I could feel the sparks all the way down to my toes.

"What did you feel guilty about in the car?" I had to ask, because I really couldn´t see what she could feel guilty about out there.

She started to bite her lower lip again.

"It's silly really, but first I was a little hurt that Emmett was going with you guy. Then I felt guilty for being hurt. I have no right feeling hurt that he has friends here. After all he´s here because I wanted him here, not that I asked him to come. But I didn´t have to, he just knows me that well." she smiled, and I hate to say it, but right now I´m jealous of Emmett. I wish I could put that smile on her face.

"You have the right to feel what you're feeling." Bella still looked at the floor, shaking her head a little. "You are. The thing is, you can always feel what you want. The difference is that you shouldn´t always act on how you feel."

"Like not talking with my Dad for six years?"

It was so low, that I´m not sure she really said it.

"What do you mean, Bella?" I knew that Charlie and Bella hadn´t talked to much over the last eight years. However the fact that they hadn´t talked in six years just seemed weird. Bella and Charlie had the best father- daughter relationship ever.

"That what´s made this whole mess, me not talking to Dad for six years. Well we talked if a Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas or Happy New Year counts as talking." Bella looked at me as she stopped talking. I just shook my head.

"I have to get the lasagna in the oven." Bella turned around and took it from the stove top and put it in the oven.

She turned to me and nodded toward the living-room as she started to walk toward it. I just followed. She took a seat on the couch. I stood a little while thinking about where to sit. I really wanted to take the seat next to Bella, but I didn´t know if that was okay. Bella just looked up at me and patted the cushion next to her. I smiled at her and I got a smile back as I took the seat.

"Why didn´t you talk to Charlie in six years?" Bella didn´t say anything, but she had this crease on her forehead. "That´s a long time. There had to be something to cause it."

Bella took a deep breath before she started to talk.

"I didn´t want to." I was about to say something, but the look Bella gave me made me shut up. "I was afraid that it would hurt me more. I thought Alice would have told you, but I guess not."

"I have heard what people hear think happened, but it´s not true. I didn´t know Renee. I didn´t know that she wanted me to live with her and most of all I never wanted to leave. I didn´t know the women who sat on the couch and wanted me to leave with her to Phoenix."

I just sat there listening to everything Bella said.

This put everything into new light.

I was grateful that Emmett had been there. Hearing how he had always been at her side over the eight years she had lived with her mother. It showed me how much he really cared for her and why she was so close to him.

What to say about Charlie I don't even know. I´m sure he thought he was doing what was best for Bella. But sending her to live with a woman that she didn´t even know, even if this woman was her mother, was just stupid.

When it came to Renee, all I have to say is that I kind of hate her. She just come here and took Bella away from her home. And to make it worse she used Bella to "charm" her way into Emmett´s dad´s life. How he fell for that I will never know.

When Bella was done telling me about why she had left and how Emmett fit into her life I just sat there, not knowing what to say.

Come to think about it Bella had left me with that feeling a lot today.

As we sat there Bella took my hand and started to play with my fingers. I have to say that did not help me think of anything to say to her.

"Do you still play?"

What was she talking about. Did I still play what? I was not following her train of thought. When I hadn't answered her she figured out for herself and gave me the clue I needed. "Piano."

"Yea,"

"Good. You are good at it." I had never played for her. So how would she know that I was any good. "I used to sit outside the music room sometimes when you played. Sometimes I also looked into the room to watch you play. You were always so lost in the music that you never noticed." Bella gave me her soft smile. The one she had smiled when she had thought about Emmett earlier. I just figured out how to keep that smile on her face. Bella would just have to think about something that had to do with me.

But she was wrong about one thing, I always noticed when someone looked at me when I played. The thing was, Esme did it all the time so I had just always thought it was her.

"I would really like to play for you sometime." The words had left my mouth before I had even thought it.

Bella smiled a bright smile at me. "I would love that. "

We just sat there for awhile making small talk. I was trying to man up to ask her about the fair. Because that was the real reason I was here. But I have to say that I had gotten more out of it than I had ever hoped, even if she didn´t want to go with me to the fair.

"About the fair." I started, I could feel Bella stiffen a little. "I was just wondering if you would like to go with me?"

Bella smiled a sad smile up at me, something I really didn´t like. I could see it in her eyes that she would say no and it broke my heart a little.

"No Edward. Your going there with Alice and I have decided that I don't want to force my way into her life. It´s just unfair to her."

"We could go, just you and me. They won't miss me. Jasper and Alice will be to wrapped up in each other."

"Emmett will be following Rose around like a puppy." Bella added, "But wont it be weird? I mean Alice and I aren't really speaking."

"They are a weird match, Rose and Emmett." I said. "And no it won't be weird. Please come with me to the fair."

"Okay" Bella smiled shyly as she answered and I think I just stopped breathing for a bit. Bella Swan had just said yes to go to the fair, the only thing though was that I didn´t know if it was a date or if we were going as friends. I wanted to ask, but chickened out.

The clock on the oven started ringing telling us that the lasagna was done.

Bella walked in to the kitchen and I followed. As Bella opened the oven, the front door opened.

"Bella are you home." Charlie asked as he walked towards the kitchen.

Bella answered and Chief Swan stopped at the door and looked from me to Bella and back again.

"Edward Cullen. Not someone I would ever think I would see in my home." He said with humor in his voice. "Are you staying for Dinner?"

"No, sir. Esme is cocking and I said that I would be home."

I looked at the clock and it was just fifteen minutes before it would be dinner time at home. I said my goodbyes to Bella and Charlie and headed out the front door.

Today had been a good day.

Bella had opened up to me. I had a date with her next weekend.

Well I hoped we had a date, or at least that we would be getting closer to the dating part when we were out next weekend.

As I opened the car door someone touched my arm. Just as I was about to grab it and twist the arm, I remembered when I twisted Bella´s arm at school so I didn´t and as I turned around I was grateful for it.

Bella stood there and looked up at me all nervous. Her big brown eyes on me. I could have drowned in them, but Bella started to talk and I had to listen.

"I was just wondering about something." I nodded for her to continue. "It´s about the fair." I could feel my heart sink. She wanted out, she wanted someone else to come with us. God this couldn´t be good.

"Well we talked about how Alice and Jasper would be all wrapped up in each other and how Emmett would be following Rose around like they were dating. And well I was just wondering." She stood there shifting from one leg to the other. She took a deep breath and the words she said were so fast that I had to ask her to please repeat that. "I said I was wondering if this is a date?"

I let out the breath I had been holding, without even knowing I had held it.

"Yea." I rubbed my neck, "I was kind of hoping that." I was about to say more but Bella cut me off.

"Good." She smiled nervously, "I can't wait. See you on Monday at school."

I really wanted to kiss her or hug her or something, but I couldn´t. Not here, not now.

We just stood there looking at each other smiling these goofy smiles.

We both jumped as Charlie yelled from the front door. "The food is getting cold."

We said goodbye once more and I watched Bella walk in side before I drove home.

One thing I was sure of. This had been a good day, and nothing could ruin it for me now.