Many thanks reviewers!
We've come a long way... Only a week's passed in story terms since Shep first set foot on Epiquaaya... and now...
Chapter Twenty One
Sam came to slowly, raising herself on one elbow. And then sat. Wiping a shaking hand over her face to drive away the bleariness and the headache. Remembering that it'd been John who'd knocked her out.
And then saw him.
"Oh no..."
A short distance away. Back to her. On one knee. Holding Ha'ashme in his arms. Caressing his face through her hair. She sensed there were tears. A few moments to count herself lucky to still be alive. For she guessed Ha'ashme hadn't been as fortunate.
And Menos offered to help Sam to her feet. Unsteady, so she was grateful. She dare not trust herself to walk to Sheppard.
"Wha... What happened?"
"You have heard of Emanii?" Sam nodded. "And of the strand that escaped and was taken to Edena by the Guardian, Passandra? When John visited Edena, Emanii made her escape in his... mind, believing she could return to Epiquaaya, could trick us and be re-united with the rest of Emanii. It is why he did not appear... quite himself. He succeeded in entrapping Emanii again, but... at what price?" And Menos indicated Ha'ashme with his eyes.
Sam nodded again. Understanding. And then limped over to Sheppard. Kneeling beside him. Placing a consoling hand on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry..."
Which he barely acknowledged. His eyes glistened. A strange calmness in his demeanor. The strength that was John's that would not show emotion. And perhaps something of Eliosus... a quiet resignation to the fate.
He turned away, still laying a cheek in Ha'ashme's hair.
Menos also came over. Awkward in his stance. "She was always mortal, you see. But never experienced death. We believe that this was also the Ascendeds' punishment of Eliosus… That they… you could never be united, even in death."
"She did not deserve this. She did not deserve to share my pain." His voice broken. Close to the line of a sob. But not John's voice.
"John?"
"John?" And he frowned. "Yes... John... I am still John..." Confusion in his eyes.
"You said earlier... that... Lameros?... Lameros brought Shepto back to life?"
"Lameros?... did not deserve that either... should have... should have helped him... Yes, Colonel Carter. Lameros did that thing... but..." And he shook his head. "It is time... to accept..."
"What do you wish to do now, John Sheppard… Eliosus? Only… the shield still needs strenghtening… I do not mean to insist we hurry… And the other Guardians…" He looked at Sam. "The other Guardians report that the Nannoids are only two hours away from Atlantis. We believe they were cloaked, a device conceived by Emanii, waiting until they received a signal."
"Her continguency plan. Revenge. In case all else failed." John. Bitter. His voice with strength now.
"I have to go back… John," said Sam, uncertain like Menos, whether to call him John or Eliosus.
"We will both go back," he said.
And then he laid Ha'ashme carefully to the floor, gently arranging her arms at her side.
"What is to be done? A... funeral, Eliosus?" asked Menos.
"I shall deal with that later..."
And Sam realised that John had accepted the name, Eliosus. Then… this was not John.
He read her mind.
"John is... 'safe', Colonel Carter," he assured her. "I am simply more of Eliosus than John. And it is still my wish, naturally, to save Atlantis and I will ensure that is done… You know, he was correct to not to let me… 'be'. I am not deserving. And Dr. McKay was correct to call this place a folly. He was even correct to say I was selective in the use of my powers… We had no right to take this upon ourselves, Menos. The evil nature has always escaped and always will. This should always have been allowed to take its proper course. There were Ascendeds who thought this also. I should have listened. I intend to finish this, Menos." And he stood. Resolved.
"It is your decision, Eliosus," though Menos did not sound convinced.
"A part of her evil was always with me. A part I could never shake. A pollution. An obsession. Always after glory. Always after adulation. I thought I was unassailable. Invulnerable. I thought it was love… But look how it has ended…" And there were tears in his eyes again. And he turned away from Sam and Menos so they would not see.
"I hate to say this, but I really need to go," repeated Sam, getting to her feet unsteadily. "If you are going to help…?" She was uncertain whether to ask Menos or… Eliosus.
"Yes… You have heard of the weapon of Chaya Sar, Colonel?"
Menos with alarm in his eyes. "Eliosus! We haven't enough energy for this! You do not seem to realise, that our power has diminished since you left us! And I know that you have not yet reached full potential. You would need to be here for many more weeks. And you have just fought Emanii."
And John turned back to them. "Combined, we should reach the required level."
"But twenty ships! And you…" and he glanced at Sam, and back to John again, choosing his words, "… understand the risk?"
"This is how we finish it, Menos. I have made up my mind."
And Menos was silent. Turning over all the implications.
"Everything is in decay, Menos."
Echoing the words of Lameros.
"Our work here is over." And Menos bowed his head to Eliosus in deference, and in defeat. "This is your will, then so be it."
"Ma'am. Sir." With emphasis on the 'sir'. Sergeant Kett. He'd noted the difference in Sheppard. And Sam knew it wasn't the first time that those with the natural ATA gene experienced an empathy with one another.
Sam. Mildly surprised when Sheppard sat in the rear compartment.
"The Colonel isn't flying, ma'am? He's injured?" He'd also noted the dried blood on the Colonel's shirt.
"No. He's… fine. You get us home."
"Yes, ma'am." And the two Marines sat in the cockpit while Sam sat down opposite Sheppard. Who was studying the floor. A sadness.
"It's kinda of weird, but I can't really call you 'John' anymore, can I?" she ventured. To break his silence. He'd hardly spoken since they left Epiquaaya. The remaining five Guardians had been summoned. Sheppard greeted them each by name. An embrace. Physical contact that Sheppard would have shied away from, but for Sheppard as Eliosus came quite naturally. Then each in turn, ending with Menos, placed a palm on his forehead, and were absorbed, lost from view. And, thought Sam, probably lost forever. This had felt like a farewell.
Sheppard shook his head in answer to her question. And then a soft, "No, I believe not."
"And you can really assure me that John will be... safe?"
He looked up. "I hope so." He smiled wryly. And Sheppard seemed to be in that smile. And in the shrug that followed. "But he knows... I know that these things need to be done."
"Yes. He would." Sam persisted, however. "But the weapon of Chaya Sar… she was only permitted to use it in protection of her own planet. Aren't you therefore working outside some sort of perimeter? Won't you be incurring the wrath of Ascendeds or something?" She was thinking total annihilation. Payment for breaking the rules of punishment. "How can you say that John... you will be safe?"
"I said that I hope so. But yes, I am throwing myself at the mercy of the Ascendeds. But we are doing no more than making amends anyway. Who can say how they will react? I have never actually been forbidden to do this." And there was Sheppard again. A slight smile. The cheeky audacity.
They were silent again.
"Colonel Carter?" And it would have been odder still to say: 'No, please, call me Sam.'
"Yes?"
"I have an apology to make. No. Two. The Nannoids know the position of Atlantis... I guess they discovered that from me... when Emanii was… inside. And secondly, that you were, in effect, held hostage. I am sorry that you came to harm."
"And which one of you is making those apologies?" They smiled again. And it felt good, if a little awkward, given the seriousness of the situation they were in.
"Yeah, I guess I do have some split personality issues to deal with, if…" If he made it.
And then, his face alert. Like preparing for a mission.
"The Gate. When we are about to enter, I need the Jumper held steady."
"You are going to destroy Epiquaaya, aren't you?" He said nothing. The sadness returning.
"That's some funeral, Eliosus…"
Passandra too. With her mother. Do not think of me. Destroy Emanii. Destroy Emanii.
For Emanii had weakened. And Eliosus was stronger.
And the blue lightning spidered out from the Jumper. Pulsating plasma tendrils, filaments, brushing, kissing the surface of the planet.
And fleeing quickly.
For one brief second, the whole universe flared with white energy.
Then Epiquaaya. Blossomed as some exotic flower. Boiled as a white cauldron. Gases rolling and rolling, turning and turning. Yellow flaming and hungrily feeding on all that was life. Billowing hellfire, exhaling all that had been life. Till nothing… but vapour and dead rock.
"Rodney? You need to provide… Colonel Sheppard with all the assistance he requires."
"Colonel Sheppard?" Rodney blinked. It'd always been Sam's policy to call everyone by their first name. And the said Colonel, stood at the top of the Gateroom stairs, looking a little lost. With Lantean staff to and froing all around, intent on evacuation procedures.
Rodney gathered his senses again.
"Look. I've no time for all that! Got a city to save. We are screwed, Sam! Really, truly, Sam."
Sam was about to say something but Rodney held up a hand to stop her.
"Ah, ah, updating, updating, Sam! We've just had those Nannoids drop out of space, right on our doorstep. With a cloaking device that eluded all sensors. They're, what, twenty eight minutes and thirty three seconds away. Somehow they've been able to block all communications and the Stargate."
Teyla had entered the Gateroom below, helping Infirmary staff with patients. She briefly glanced up at Sheppard. And turned away instantly. Blanking him out. And it hurt. And he wanted to run and apologise. To clear everything with her. And wished Ronon was there too. But Sam could explain everything later…
Rodney was still talking. "What their technology is, I've not been able to figure out. I've only just this moment overridden the virus to get the Stargate operational. So there's no way Earth can help, not in the short space that's available right now. And evacuation is only just underway-"
"-Rodney!" And he was crazily working three consoles at once, pushing over or past operatives. Or just plain pushing.
"And that planet Alora just blew up. And we were all worried about that. Couldn't contact you."
"Rodney!" Even louder.
"And now you say you want me to drop everything and assist… Colonel Sheppard!" And he folded his arms. "Well, unless he can come up with some sort of
miracle-"
"-Rodney! We went for help and we got it."
"You did?" And he looked from Sam to Sheppard and back to Sam again. Trying to comprehend.
"Eliosus," said Sam by way of explanation. "And a weapon like Chaya Sar's."
"He's…?" And Rodney gestured with a finger.
"Yes."
"Really? That's sort of like… wow… he did it in the end then?" And peered round Sam at Sheppard again.
"You need to take him to the Chair room."
"What, he doesn't know the way?"
"No, you might need to help him?" Sometimes this would be Nobel Prize winner for Physics just had to be treated like a child. "I'll take care of things this end."
"Yes... Of course... Right away."
"Well, there it is, then." And Rodney left him standing before the Chair, walking past to activate the half a dozen or so consoles in the room.
"Rodney?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm still John, you know."
"What?" Wondering what had brought this on.
"You don't have to treat me like a stranger." Rodney stopped tapping buttons. But his mind, in true Rodney style, went gabbling off ten to the dozen. No. He hadn't known how to deal with this. John Sheppard had gone off. And returned somehow different. And all the time they'd spent on Melancia, it'd seemed that this moment was going to be inevitable. When there was more of Eliosus than John Sheppard. And he wondered how he would react to that. How he would cope. Apparently, not coping very well. What do you do when your… best friend, and yes, he had to admit it, John was his best friend, had turned into some sort of demi god? There weren't lessons on the subject. Nothing you could download off the internet. No. He was, actually, feeling embarrassed about the whole thing. Yes. He was treating John like a stranger. That's because he was. But he couldn't tell the guy that. Not when he just stood there. Open and honest. Which wasn't a John thing at all. But perhaps not a demi god's either. No. Someone a whole lot more fragile and human than that…
"Sorry… I didn't know that I was."
"When you were about to Ascend, I thought I treated you no differently… though you were hell to live with." And Sheppard settled himself down in the Chair.
"I was? Yes, I guess I was." And Rodney resumed his button pushing.
"I mean, the mind reading part was a real pain. But... it's nice to know I'm your best friend." And he laid back in the Chair waiting for the aftershock.
"Ok! Ok! That was private!" And Rodney came round to stand before the chair to confront him.
And then was un-Rodney like. He was speechless. He didn't mind that Sheppard knew about the best friend part. Not in the least.
"That was… that was… no… you're welcome… but…"
"We should get on."
"Yeah. A city to save…" And he was back to the one console with a display. "So… er… how do you propose to do this? Chaya Sar's weapon? But you need the Chair?"
"I took out Alora, Rodney. To destroy Emanii once and for all."
"And the Guardians that were there?"
"Are here with me." Except one. "Working together was the only way to achieve this. But to finish Alora I depleted our powers which were probably insufficient anyway. I intend to use the one drone. To act as a vehicle, a platform to launch the weapon." No longer Sheppard. This was Eliosus. And this was going to take some getting used to.
"What if the drone gets hit?"
"The Guardians can last long enough until I get another one up there."
"And, I should like to point out, that since the Nannoid ships haven't reached orbit yet, that's a long haul for a drone."
"I'm not about to wait for the Nannoids to come any closer."
"No… No… That wouldn't be a good idea. And it'll be a surprise. They won't be expecting an attack at that range. And certainly won't be expecting anything quite so small. Probably imperceptible to their scanners unless they were really looking for it."
"Probably?"
"Yes. I know. I said it again. Right. Ready when you are… You have... power to the Chair." He paused. "And… um… good luck." And he meant it with all sincerity.
And Sheppard closed his eyes and placed his hands on the control pads.
Unsaid. You know, Rodney, I might not survive this… But then so many other things were left unsaid.
The Chair laid fully back and the blue of the Chair lit up as the City accepted him.
John.
For Eliosus never used the Chair.
And weird to guide one drone. Usually. The quick, quick fire. And sheer numbers reached their target.
This was… this was like flying. Without the confines of the Jumper.
John.
For Eliosus was never a pilot.
The drone. Inanimate. Now animated, fused with all the senses that were John's.
…The promising hum of weaving between Atlantis Towers. The exhilarating curve and rushing soar upwards. The sea, a shimmer blue haze. The whisper touch of thin white cloud. The crystal clear turquoise of lower atmosphere. The sharp tang of ice cold to the brain. The slight tag of gravity left behind. And breath taken away. The deep, deep indigo of beyond and mystery.
Unfettered and free of physicality. Pure perception and emotion.
To feel this intensity. To feel this liberated.
John and Eliosus.
He allowed the drone one target. Sweeping in from behind. Undetected. The Nannoids holding steady in arrow formation. Only those at the front would engage Atlantis. Those at the ends might encircle. Good enough place to start. Pinpointing with accuracy the main engines of the Nannoid ship. As the drone peeled away, the ball of blue lightning fingered and flickered its way to the the next in line. Systematic and efficient in its destruction. Searing explosions to drifting black wreckage in seconds. Consuming the Nannoid fleet with little compassion. Unprepared and surprised by the attack, no ship made any defence. What could they do? This was never written into Nannoid weapon systems.
Eleven destroyed. And the remaining nine pulled away to escape. Two were damaged from debris from their neighbours and one soon exploded.
Everything had been automatic. But now Sheppard was forced to think. They weren't engaging hyperdrives. They were still intent on taking Atlantis. He'd assumed that once the centre had been taken out, they'd lack leadership and make their escape. But either Santal still survived, or the Nannoids were still adhering to a directive they could not alter.
Give chase then.
But the lightning… lumbering and slow. Slack to control. Unresponsive to reflexes. Shadowing and darkening.
'Menos?'
'I am sorry, Eliosus. We are losing energy.'
'We can't stop now!'
'I do not know a solution.'
'Atlantis?'
'How could that be done?'
"Rodney! I need more power!" Rodney started from his monitoring on the screen as the Chair flipped back up to upright. He'd seen the diminishing energy signature from the weapon.
"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then no! And I can't possibly see how this would work. It's…it's electrical circuitry not some sort of psychic mumbo jumbo!"
"There's no time to argue, just do it! I need everything, everything you've got. Drain Atlantis dry if you have to!"
"This is a neural interface! It'll kill you!"
"If you don't do this, then I will!" And Rodney believed he could. And would. And perhaps… it might kill Sheppard, but not Eliosus…
"Rodney! You have to trust me!"
"You have power to the chair from all secondary systems as of… now. It'll take time to take power off the-"
And Sam was in his earpiece.
"We're losing power to parts of the city, Rodney! What's happening? And we still have seven ships bearing down on us!"
"I'm assisting Sheppard, remember?" He tapped in with his sarcastic reply. "Sam. I'm shutting down all systems to re-route to the Chair. Leaving the Shield but everything has to go. Life support. The lot. He has this crazy idea… Oh my God! Oh my God, Sheppard, don't do this! Don't do this, please! John!" Rodney uncertain. Leave his console? What could he do to help?
"Rodney! What's going on?"
Sheppard shuddering in the Chair. Eyes shut tight against the pain.
"Got to, Rodney. Might have enough for now. Feed in the rest… when you're ready. Then… switch everything back as soon as it's finished."
"I have to keep the shield up, Sheppard." Just in case.
"I know." And he activated the Chair again. Within seconds. Another ship disappeared from Rodney's screen.
Two minutes later. When all safety protocols were completed. And all computer systems shut down barring that of Rodney's, Rodney was ready to transfer power to the Chair. Hand over the pad. Hesitating. Glancing over to Sheppard. Uncertain. Knowing what he was doing. Putting off the dreadful moment. Excuses. This might even cause the Chair to malfunction. He'd had no time to work out the figures. He glanced at the six blips on his screen. There was no way they could take those out with just their supply of drones. He watched Sheppard still shaking in the Chair. Sheppard might even be unconscious already for all he knew. There was no rationality behind all this. No scientific logic. But there was a point when even a scientist had to leave everything to blind faith...
And he let his hand drop down on the pad.
Kept his back turned but dare not look. He was aware of a sharp movement in the Chair behind. Could hear the moan. But dare not look. Intent only on the screen in front of him. Steeling himself to only watch those blips disappear one by one. Rubbed at his eyes. Heroics done a score of times before. But never got any easier to cope with. And then glanced up. Saw the reflection in the glass panel. Where normally the water effervesced, but with the power off, dark and dull. And saw Sheppard there writhing, and arcing his back in agony.
I am so stopping this now!
But... it was all over anyway.