Another year. Junior year. And I was walking the halls without my best friend. It was surreal. And depressing and there were times when I wanted to run from that feeling of emptiness that filled me whenever I realized she wasn't by my side.

But I had Derek.

He had replaced the empty space Paige had left behind; he had been there, always, and he had agreed that we would get pass this tragedy together or not at all. His presence filled me with the warmth of ten million suns when he held my hand or hugged me tight or kissed my forehead with a barely there brush of his lips.

He'd become the best friend he used to be, the one I needed and never wanted to let go.

He was always there.

Until he wasn't.

I just don't understand how it is you go from someone like Paige to her.

His face blanched. We agreed not to talk about her.

You agreed to that. Paige is my best friend and I'll talk about her if I want to.

Paige is dead! She's gone so get over it!

The reminiscence of our conversation ran through my mind as I looked through the window again at Derek's figure. He gave me a sad wave, and I shook my head, dropping the curtain from my hand to let it cover the glass once again.

It wasn't just what he said—though that was a big part of it. How could he ever say to me that Paige was gone? Like she didn't exist anymore? She did. In her family. In me. In him. She wasn't just gone and I wouldn't just get over it.

However, that wasn't the only reason I felt like I'd just got run over by a truck. I couldn't say that his words were the only thing making this darkness return, this sadness, this jealousy.

Derek dating Katherine Argent hurt way more than it was supposed to with me being his best friend. Just his best friend.

It wasn't a feeling I wanted to give a name too nor was it something I wanted to figure out or act on. If I found out why exactly it hurt when I saw that kiss he gave to her, or why it scarred my heart to hear him call Argent his girlfriend, I wouldn't like the answer waiting for me.

And I'd much rather focus on my babysitting gig at the moment.

I slouched towards Minnie's room spotting her already sleeping figure. A smile lifted on my lips at the innocence on her face, the ignorance. She slept without a care in the world, without any nightmares or hate or worry.

I smoothed a hand over her hair again and again, getting distracted in the monotony of it all. In knowing I could never go back to this moment because I knew too much, loved too much, cared too much about things I shouldn't.

Like the grey-eyed gentleman currently sneaking into my little sister's bedroom window.

I ignored him, stroking her brown locks, one, two, three more times before lifting her cover to her chin and turning to leave. Derek followed me out, to the hallway, to my room, to my bed without saying a single word.

Until I guess he couldn't hold it in anymore. "C'mon Kammy, you can't be that mad at me. She's not as bad as you said she was." He tried to laugh nonchalantly as if I was being ridiculous but he didn't have the right to act dumb, not when I was suffering because of it.

"Don't!" I scolded staring him right in the eyes. The mirth there immediately disappeared. "Don't you dare sit here and pretend you don't know exactly why I'm mad. Just don't."

We sat in silence after my outburst and I took the time to settle myself under my covers, praying they would provide me with the warmth my best friend wasn't giving me.

A single tear escaped my eye, and Derek wiped it away before I could do it myself. He watched me for a bit, yet I refused to meet his eyes. In the next moment, he was pushing me over and climbing into the bed with me, wrapping his arms around my figure, and pressing a small kiss to my forehead.

"I'm sorry." He finally said. "I'm sorry."

I snuggled closer to him in response; I was weak in regards to Derek, always, so that was really all he had to say.

But he didn't stop there. He talked about her, about Paige. "I loved her Kamina. She was funny and amusing and sassy. She was everything I could ever ask for. One of the greatest, most amazing people in the world. I'll never be able to forget her fully, you should know that by now, but I can't." His voice cracked at the last word. "I can't keep reliving what I did to her. The blood and the tears and your words." I hugged him at that, apologizing again in that simple gesture. "I know it was my fault and I know I can never change it but I can't have that memory in my head every second of every day, not if I want to move on. And Kate is really helping me do that."

"I thought I was doing that." I mumbled sadly, hating that Kate Argent would be my replacement, hating that I cared so much that she was helping him just as I was, hating that I couldn't just be happy for him. "I thought we were working on that together. Me and you."

"We are." He insisted. His index finger came under my chin so that I would look at him and I couldn't look away when I found his eyes. "We are. We're getting over her together but Kate...she helps with the part you can't. The romantic part."

That was a stab to my heart in the harshest of ways, and he didn't even know it. And hell if I would tell him.

"Okay." I conceded, ducking my chin down once again and squeezing him closer. "But we're not getting over her. We have to remember her, if no one else does. Maybe not that moment but all the other wonderful ones. She's too important for us not to."

He gulped above me but nodded his head in agreement. "I know. I won't. I couldn't if I tried. Not really. 'Cause she left a piece of herself in you."