Happy Late New Year, sorry it's been so long. I hope you like this. It's just a little something. I was in a rush to get something to you all so please excuse my poor spelling and typing.

LISTEN WHILE YOU READ!

1. "Young Folks" : Peter Bjorn & John

2. "On Top of the World" : Inland Sky, Mindy Smith

*****Chapter Twenty One*****

"So Swan,"

I waited until she was about to put a spoon full of cereal in her mouth then gently elbowed her. Her hand faltered slightly sloshing milk back into her bowl and she gave me an annoyed grin.

"You've got curly hair."

"Excuse me?"

"Your hair." I reached over with a smirk and tugged lightly at a spiraled tendril of hair that had fallen loose out of the bun on top of her head. "It get's all curly when it's wet."

"Oh yeah, you noticed that." she stared down at her fruity pebbles.

"We live in the wettest city in the central United States you couldn't hide it forever. I was bound to find out your secret sooner or later."

She let out a laugh only encouraging me to tease her more.

"So you're a curly haired nerd who quotes Lord of the Rings and talks in her sleep. Anything else you want to tell me about yourself Swan?"

"Cullen!" She slapped my arm playfully, "I do not talk in my sleep!"

"Yes you do."

"No way!"

"Yes way" I smiled in victory.

"Oh my gosh," she hid her cherry red face behind her hands. "What did I say?"

When I opened my mouth to answer she grabbed my arm and squeezed softly, "NO wait don't tell me. That will just make my humiliation worse!"

I couldn't control the grin working over my face.

"Awe, Swan, that's cute, you're blushing like crazy."

Her head was now buried in her arms rocking slightly with laughter and mortification. Taking pity on her I reached over and ran a hand up and down her back soothingly.

"Seriously Bella, you're quite adorable when you talk in your sleep." and then I couldn't resist, "Especially when it's about me."

Her head shot up and her alarmed eyes met mine.

"It's okay, nothing to embarrassing." I reassured.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Well that depends; when you told me I smelled good and that you liked me, see I sort of enjoyed it, but you might feel differently."

"Oh that's so not fare!" she yelped, collapsing into her arms once again.

"Bella," I chuckled sliding my arms around her and loosening the grip she had on herself. "You don't need to be shy. You already know I think you smell good and that I really like you."

Slowly I coaxed her into unfolding herself and she leaned into me with the hint of a grin. When she turned her face up to meet mine I could feel the warmth of her skin brush the exposed part of my neck.

"Well, you do smell really good." She breathed, sending a shock of renewed excitement and tension washing through my body.

My arms enfolded around her in quick response and I held her close to me as pure lust and desire pumped my heart so fast I could hear it ringing in my ears. Dipping my head slowly I felt my lip's smooth across her cheek bone and then trail dangerously close to her warm parted mouth. Shit! I couldn't last much longer. How were we ever going to make it through this?

Letting out a sigh of frustration I squeezed her once and then loosened my hold on her.

"Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry."

"No Swan." I ran a hand through my hair pulling at it a bit to distract myself from the longing and disappointment I could see in her eyes. "You didn't say anything wrong. On the contrary you do and say everything right; too right."

She looked confused.

How the hell was I supposed to tell her she was making me crazy and had been since the moment I had seen her.

"I'll put it this way. You're a very difficult woman to resist."

Understanding bloomed on her face as did a brand new round of blushes.

"Oh," she stammered, but then as she thought more I could see the faint trace of a self-satisfied grin spreading over her lip's.

"Hey," I let out pointing to her beautiful mouth. "That's not helping!"

She shrugged letting out a triumphant giggle.

"What?" She bit her lip attempting to stifle a giant grin. "Sorry."

Indignant I turned my attention back to the television and picked up my cereal bowl.

"Sure you are Swan."

We watched cartoons for a while in companionable silence until I could feel her deep eye's studying me. My first reaction was to turn to her but instead I fought the urge and allowed her to look at me freely; I was becoming addicted to the feeling of excitement and adrenaline her gaze triggered in my body. But eventually after a few moments I poked.

"Alright, what's up Bella?"

"Nothing's up." I saw her swallow a smile out of the corner of my eye. "I'm just." she shook her head, "I can't believe you would do all of this for me; looney toons and fruity pebbles. It's my perfect Saturday morning."

"Well you said fruity pebbles were your comfort food."

"Yes, but you actually listened and remembered."

She gave me a pointed look.

"Bella, when are you going to realize I listen to every word you say?"

When I smiled her cheeks lit with heat and she shifted her gaze past me for a moment, as if she were in the middle of thinking something through.

"I guess I'm just not used to that."

There was an edge of regret and anger in her tone and I knew immediately that she was referring to something that had nothing to do with me. Venturing cautiously I spun myself in her direction and folded my legs underneath me in an attempt to get a better view of her face.

"Bella, last night you said that you have only ever been with one person?"

I have no idea why in came out as a question.

Her eye's flickered to me and she nodded once in response.

"Did you ah, um, how long were you together?"

She took a deep breath.

"That depends on your definition of together."

"How long did you date?" I clarified.

"Off and on for nine years."

"What!" I gaped, completely taken back by her answer. "Nine years?" I heard my self-repeat a little more high pitched than I'd intended.

She nodded again.

"So," I felt my heart rate pick up. "You were how old when you started dating?"

"Sixteen."

"Wow." was all I could come back with.

I could feel my self-tensing as a strange and foreign feeling began creeping in over me. It was cold and unpleasant, as if suddenly I was miles away from her, away from my self even. Nine years was practically her entire life! Who the hell was this guy and better yet where was he now? Was he still in the picture, could they get back together at any time? The questions constricted in my chest and I felt heat trickle through my veins.

"You were off and on in high school?" I surmised aloud.

Her face had paled and her arms were beginning to compress around her torso in a manner that I was quickly learning meant she was shutting down and shutting me out.

"And a few months in college" she added dryly.

"And then after that too?"

My eyes were pealed to hers hoping she would continue to answer.

She only nodded once.

Shifting gears I returned to her earlier comment, "He didn't listen?"

A frown began to work over her lips as she thought about the question.

"He did, in his way."

"What does in his way mean?"

"Nothing." she dismissed staring at her hands.

In an attempt to gain her full attention I slid my hand over hers and squeezed gently.

"Please?"

Her face turned up and she met my gaze but then looked away again stretching her hands out of my grasp; figuratively and physically pulling herself away from me.

"He did listen but it was more selective. Like he would hear what he wanted to hear, you know sort of pathetically optimistic."

"Why were you off and on for so long?"

"College." she answered simply. "I went he didn't."

"That must have been hard?"

The feeling that I needed to keep her talking came with an urgent push to my gut and I tried hastily to take in everything she was saying as well as everything she wasn't.

"When I was away from home, from him, I just worked hard and kept my head down."

"Sort of like what you've been doing now?"

Even as I realized that I had said it with a tone of frustration her eyes rushed to mine as if I had wounded her.

"Shit! I'm sorry." Panic was lacing through my brain. "I just, well I mean," what the hell was I trying to say? "Bella I didn't mean to,"

"Its fine." she said in a clipped and lilting voice.

Damn it! Why the hell did I say that out loud?

"I guess you're right. I've just been sort of gliding through life. The thing is," her eyes were dark mirrors and the emotion I saw in them was overwhelming "I've just been in a haze for a while."

"Because of him?"

My teeth grated against my jaw. I hated even the idea of a 'Him'. Hot saliva was pooling in my mouth and the feeling that she was still obviously hurting over what ever had happened between them was both heartbreaking and infuriating.

She didn't answer.

I didn't need her to. I could see it was true, and it made me angry.

"Bella, tell me what happened."

"He left." Her voice was flat and dead.

Red heat bloomed before my vision and inside my chest.

"He left you?" I spit out hastily.

"Edward, I don't want to talk about this anymore." her voice quivered but barely registered in my ears.

"Where is he now?" I pressed.

" He is gone. Please don't ask me anything more."

Her urgent tone and cracking expression broke into my fevered thoughts of wanting to punish anyone who could possible hurt her.

"Bella, I have to know, did he," I felt sick. Shit. I loathed even thinking it. "Did he ever hurt you?"

She sucked in a breath and then her eyes widened in understanding, revulsion glazing over the sorrow.

"No!" She almost yelled. "No. Nothing like that. He would never."

She was stammering in shock, a stricken expression paling her face. I felt stupid now for even going there.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to know." After a long pause I added "Is there any chance that you two might get back together."

Before I could even register weather my heart had actually stopped a beat she shook her head.

"No."

She whipped at her face and I scooted closer. I had made her cry again, what the hell was wrong with me!

"Damn it!" I chided under my breath "I did it again, I'm sorry Bella."

"No, it's okay. It's not your fault." She attempted a smile.

Pressing my fingers lightly over her damp cheeks I tipped her chin up to face me, searching for a way to comfort and reassure her.

"I hope you know that I feel very protective over you."

"You do?"

The little wrinkle between her eyes was back and I grinned against my better judgment.

"Of course I do Swan, don't be so surprised. That's my job now. I'm the guy that gets to take care of you, protect you and make you happy, I hope. I'm sorry I pushed, I guess I take my responsibility a bit too seriously sometimes."

"I think I like the sound of all that." she almost whispered. "But,"

"Oh no. There's a but?" I smirked kindheartedly sensing the mood between us shifting.

"But," she emphasized again, "what's my job? What do I get to do for you?"

"Hum," I squinted my eye's as if in deep thought. "I think, you just be you. That's what you can do for me."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh brother Cullen, that was so cheesy."

"Alright, then you decided."

"Well, for starters why don't I keep you company and tell you when you're being a giant corn ball."

"I'm following you so far, what else you got?"

"I can cook for you. I can entertain you with witty remark's, my constant clumsiness, and ya' know be your all around Girl Friday."

"My what?" I let out in amusement.

"You watch old movies. You know what a Girl Friday is, don't you?"

"Yeah I do. But I'm wondering if you do."

"Sure I do. They are always around when a guy needs them, and they make him look good."

"Well, Miss Stanley is going to be very disappointed."

"Who is Miss Stanley?"

"She's my secretary. You see she is under the impression that she is my Girl Friday. I guess I'll have to let her go on Monday. What time can I expect you at the office?"

I was being a smart ass and I knew I had the smug grin to match it plastered all over my face.

"Your secretary? That's not what a Girl Friday is Cullen!"

"Look it up Miss Swan. I believe you just volunteered to me by new secretary."

"I will, and when I am right you're going to owe me dinner."

"I see your dinner and raise you a breakfast!"

"Okay you're on." she stuck out her hand defiantly.

"So when I win," I took her hand and leered good naturedly. "You will make me a dinner and a breakfast."

"I think you mean when I win."

She stood to her feet and darted over to her purse retrieving her cell phone. As she walked slowly back to me I watched her face reading the screen carefully. Her eyebrows pitched up and she scowled but only for a brief moment.

"Ha Cullen, I win!" she exclaimed.

"What? You do not! Let me see that."

I scrambled to my legs and clamored towards her my sock covered feet sliding against the wood floor.

"No." she moved away from me with a grin. "I win. Don't you trust me.?"

"No. I don't as a matter of fact. Now hand it over Swan."

I was edging forward on her now as she tried to hold her phone away from my grasp.

"No!" she half screamed half cackled as I caught her by the wrist and began tickling her in the ribs.

"You're not going to get away with this. I can tell that you're lying Swan."

She tried desperately to get away using all her strength, as she laughed and twisted in every direction. There was only one way to settle this. Bending quickly I easily scooped her up by the knees and threw her over my shoulder.

"Edward!" she screamed. "What are you doing? Put me down!"

I held tight to her kicking legs and began walking back to the living room. However as I approached the couch I felt her fingers dig into my sides and begin moving in a wild fit. Twitching and laughing, I pinched at the back of her knee in retaliation, which only made her intensify her assault on my ribs. All the while she begged me to stop in between pants of raucous giggles. Making it to the side of the sofa I dumped her struggling form onto it as gently as I could, my sides still burning from the onslaught of her surprisingly strong and nimble fingers. Immediately she attempted to get up and I launched myself at her effectively pinning her down.

"Now read what it really says." I commanded playfully.

"Never!" She sung in between laughs.

"Okay. Suit yourself."

I slid my hand up her arm and seized the phone away from her grip, then read the screen quickly.

"Hum, that's funny Swan, google seems to agree with me; Girl Friday: a female helper, especially a junior office worker or a personal assistant to a business executive. Ha! I win!"

"Alright Cullen, fine, you win." she huffed with a reluctant smirk.

"What's that?" I cupped my hand to my ear. "I didn't quite hear you."

"Fine. You win, you win!" she shouted.

"So should I fire Miss Stanley? I would much rather have you getting me coffee and fetching me files all day."

"Please tell me you do not make your secretary get you coffee!" Bella let out a discussed guff.

"Well that's her job isn't it?"

I was trying to egg her on and when her eyes narrowed I could see it was working.

"Do you make her wear tight skirts and high heels everyday too?"

"Oh no," I smiled coyly. "She wears those all on her own."

"That's horrible!"

"Bella, relax I'm just joking. It seems like you've been watching way too much Mad Men."

"Well that was an awfully good Don Draper impersonation you just did."

"Thank you?" I chuckled with questioning amusement. "By the way it's probably for the best if we let Miss Stanley stay in her current position, I'm fairly certain that I would pull a Roger Sterling and have a heart attack if I had to stare at you in a skirt and high heels all day. Heaven know I'd never get any work done."

Her cheeks flushed and she looked away from me as she bit back a grin.

My pulse quickened even as my imagination began to conjure images of Bella as my own office Joan.

Thank God her phone went off in my hand at that moment.

I quickly pressed the device into her hand and pulled myself off the couch so she could get up.

"It's Angela!" she chirped her eye's beaming at me with excitement. "Do you mind?"

"Oh course not." I answered, grateful for the save and content at seeing her so happy. "Take any room you want and take as long as you need."

She smiled brilliantly one last time and then almost skipped down the hallway.

"Ange?" I heard her answer before she disappeared into what I assumed was the guest room.

I ran a hand through my hair and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. What an ass I was to say that about her wearing a skirt. She's probably thinking I'm some misogynist sex crazed weirdo. Disgusted with myself I put our cereal bowls in the kitchen and cleaned away breakfast.

It had started to pour again and I felt a chill run down my spine as my thoughts wandered in and out of last night and this morning. I had packed Bella up into her truck very late last night making her promise to come right back in the morning as fast as she could. I hated watching her drive away; it was vastly becoming one of my least favorite things in life second only to living every other week without my son. They say when you have a kid it's like wearing your heart out side of your body, it was definitely true about Noah and I was starting to wonder if that might be true when it came to her and I. Did a knot in her stomach tighten every time I was away from her the way mine did when she was away from me? Last night I had pretty greedily thrust my heart out to her, but did she really want it? She was so much more guarded about her past then I had been. A part of me felt the needling sensation that I would regret laying out all my cards so soon.

I built a fire and hit the off button on the T.V. plunging the house into sudden stillness.

But for the muffled sound of a woman's occasional laughter and the gentle hum of rain it was quiet. Lying down on the couch I leaned my head back using my arm as a pillow and stared out into the grey drizzle.

Maybe I should have been more selective with what I had shared. Now in the light of a new day it was beginning to feel like maybe I had just unloaded all of my bags into a place where I may not be staying long term. What if things didn't work between us? My heart constricted at the thought of Bella not being around, of her not being in my future.

Suddenly I felt dizzy and I had to close my eyes, blackness more pleasing at the moment than the undulating greyness outside.

I was cold in my bones and my arm was heavy with the sensation of a thousand tiny needles prickling under the skin. I turned on my side trying hard to fight against the heaviness that seemed to pull me deeper. Far off in the distance I heard a door open and then footsteps.

Then there was warmth next to me, it seemed to change the darkness into pure light. All I wanted was to wrap myself around the warmth. There was a gentle flutter of heat across my face and it made me smile.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Hello." Came an agonizingly tender response.

Slowly I was able to peel my eyes open. The warmth that had been hovering against my jaw stilled and I could see a pair of pink lips.

Everything rushed over me at once, my brain finally catching up with my senses.

"Hey." I grinned unable to help myself.

"Hey." she snickered.

Then she was gone and I was freezing again.

'No, don't go away."

I began groping around me, desperate for her presence.

"I'm coming back." She whispered from not too far away. "Scoot over a little."

I did as I was told.

"The other way silly."

I felt a slight dip next to me and then soft heat enveloped me.

I knew enough to know that Bella was lying next to me now and she had covered us with a quilt. Immediately I curled my body around hers, glorying in the faint smell of summer strawberries.

"You're so warm." I smiled against her forehead as my lips grazed down her temple.

She scooted closer as if that were possible and I could feel scorching blood begin to pump in my veins.

"Did you two get to talk?" I asked remembering what had taken her away from me.

"We did, sorry it took so long."

"No, don't be. I know you miss her."

She was quiet and for moment I wondered if she had fallen asleep.

"Edward,"

"Hum?" I could barely muster as sleep began to pull me under again.

"You make me feel safer than I have ever felt in my life."

I inhaled deeply, digesting the gravity of her words.

Snaking my arms around her more securely I held her tight and brushed my lips against her neck.

"You are safe."

"Hey sleepy head." came a quiet and easy voice.

Slowly as I began to regain consciousness I could feel the tingling trace of fingers dancing methodically over my scalp; the sensation sending a flush of excitement down to my knees.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were just going to sleep the day away."

The voice let out a chuckle and I felt it resonate against my face. Confused I raised my head struggling to open my eyes and understand what was happening. Blinking a few times I rubbed my face as latent bits of information informed the vision before me.

I had fallen asleep on the couch. Bella had joined me and I had woken up to my head resting on her chest my arms draped around her.

I grinned stupidly and replaced my head on her, basking in the softness of her body and the gentle thump of her heart beat. She let out another quiet laugh and again let her hand travel absently through my hair. I sighed, the sudden intimacy of our position rushing me with the stark reality that I wouldn't mind waking up this way for the rest of my life.

A small hum of pleasure escaped from me and I found myself unable to keep from nuzzling deeper into her touch. She was setting my skin on fire.

"Swan, do you have any idea how nice that feels?"

She didn't answer but instead responded by intensifying the pressure on my scalp.

Heat shot from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and I could feel the chills beginning to brake over my skin.

We were entering into dangerous territory. I had to get my mind on something other than how amazingly turned on she was making me.

"What time is it?"

"About noon." she answered sweetly.

"Seriously?" my head darted up to her face in shock.

"Yep." she grinned.

"Wow, I guess I was tired." I attempted in a lame apology.

"I guess so."

She met my gaze and the look of sheer pleasure and contentment that was in her eye's filled me with an urgent and fond desire.

"Come here." I commanded tenderly.

I scooted up and she shimmied down so that our faces met. Pushing some hair back out of her face I ran my fingers over her jaw and then down her neck. Her eyes slid shut and she tipped her head towards me in response. She wanted to be kissed. At least her body did.

Oh shit, my heart began to beat wildly. Her lips were so pink, so full.

Fight Cullen! Fight damn you!

Swallowing hard I wrestled for the millionth time against my own flesh and my resolve to know my limits. Not yet I tried to reason internally. Oh but I wanted to. I wanted her with a force I could hardly contain or control.

Not yet! My conscious shouted.

Obedient to my better judgment I kissed her forehead and then propped my head up on my arm.

"Did you sleep?"

"A little." she answered in a slightly breathy tone.

"Good."

It was quiet and I could feel each heavy breath she took. I couldn't stop my eyes from zeroing in on her mouth, again. Her lips were curved up seductively and then they began to move.

"You know what I really want?"

"No." I said my own mouth going dry.

She paused staring at me, making me wait.

My palms began to sweat and pressure began to build up in my head. Oh Lord, help me.

"Doughnuts."

Doughnuts?

She was purposely trying to give me a stroke. Defeated I buried my face in her neck and laughed.

"That is so not what I thought you were going to say Swan."

"What did you think I was going to say?" she chortled, squirming away from my nose that was tickling against her collarbone.

"Not that."

I met her gaze with a telling look.

"So doughnuts, Hum?" I tried to rally interest.

"I asked Ange what she was missing most from the states and she said doughnuts. Ever since that's all I have been able to think about."

"That's all you can think about?" I smirked coyly.

"Well, almost all I can think about."

Her cheeks bloomed in warm color and she nibbled the corner of her lip shyly.

"So how are we going to get you a doughnut?"

"Top Pot?"

"Top Pot it is." I agreed placing one last kiss on her cheek.