Chapter Twenty One
In the end Legolas knelt down and she had no choice but to meet his eyes. She felt nerves course through her and she felt slightly sick.
Legolas himself was also feeling a flurry of emotions. Aragorn had not wanted to tell him where Amy was but in the end had relented unless Legolas spend the whole battle out of sorts. At first he did not know whether to leave her for a while but after having to apologise to Aragorn for an outburst in the armoury he realised that he was in no fit state to fight with this hanging over him.
He had no right to and had no idea what compelled him to but he reached out, placed his hand under her chin and ran his thumb across her bottom lip. She froze under his touch but he was relieved that she did not pull away.
"I owe you an apology." He finally signed after removing his hand from her face.
"You should not be here."
"Amy please, what I said…" Everything Legolas had practiced to say to her was gone when he saw the pain in her eyes. "I am sorry." He said it aloud and she read the words on his lips.
She had no words for him in reply.
He did not want to leave it like this, not when he did not know if he would see her again, but time was against him. "I owe you a proper apology but I have to go."
"Then go."
She knew it was cold and she knew she was pushing him away but for once she felt justifiable in her actions. Now that he was before her, she felt the pain of his words sting once more and she was pissed.
He could see the steely resolve in her eyes and the stubborn set of her jaw. He wanted to reach out again but knew that this time it would not be welcome.
"I wish that I could stay and make this right but I promise you that if I come back I will spend as long as it takes to make this right."
She felt herself softening towards him but it still stung. "You should be out there, I am distracting you again."
He hung his head in shame as she used his words against him. "You did not deserve what I said and what I should have said was quite the opposite."
She regarded him cautiously, not fully understanding what he meant.
"You are right though. I should go, the elves have come and the battle is imminent, but I had to see you before I…Amy I…." His words failed him and she gave no indication of responding.
He stood hurriedly, trying to hide his embarrassment and signed his goodbye before making his way quickly through the crowd of fearful people huddled in the cave.
She watched his retreating form and felt her heart start to ache in forgiveness. He had said that if he came back, if. She knew he was supposed to come back but that did not bring much comfort when it came to war. What if he was as distracted as he looked and he made a mistake? She could not bear the thought so she made a decision, for the first time in a long time, to act. She ran after him her feet on the stone alerting him to someone's presence.
She did not waste any time when he turned to look at her. "Don't do anything stupid okay, come back safe."
He could not help but smile slightly at her concern. "I will do my best."
"Please, really, you need to get through this safely. I need you to get through this safely."
He physically felt his heart beat slowly over that, she needed him. He tried not to dwell on it and build it up too much but it was too late. "I'll come back to you."
"Good." She was about to let him leave when suddenly it occurred to him what he had said. "The elves have come? What?!"
"Haldir and the elves of Lorien. They have come to our aid. I am not the only elf in the world that remembers the old alliances."
Relief flooded through her. So there were more now, more to defend Helms Deep. She smiled now and just nodded in response before watching him leave.
…...
She did not know exactly when it began but she was sure now that Isengard had been unleashed upon the people of Rohan. The air in the cave was thick and full of fear. The women, the old, the children clung to one another praying that it would all be over and their loved ones would return unharmed and untainted by the memory of war.
Many of them stared at her as an outsider, and she was glad that they all did not know of her knowledge of the future. She knew what they would ask and for them she would have no answers. She did not know who would die, only that it would be many. She only knew which people were supposed to survive and even then she was hoping that they would indeed be safe. How could anything be guaranteed in a blood soaked battle like Helms Deep?
She wished that perhaps she was smarter and could figure out a way of saving everyone without changing the future. But she wasn't supposed to be a guide; Gandalf had confirmed that to her so really she should just sit back and let things happen the way they should. And then she remembered that dream, her dream of Helms Deep so vivid like the movie. She had seen an elf die in Aragorn's arms, and despite not knowing what he looked like she knew somehow that it was Haldir. Rumil had said it had been Haldir that had found her, but he remained on patrol during her stay in Lorien so she had never come face to face with him.
And now he would die. She was tempted to just forget everything she knew of the books as seemingly they were of little use here. The elves were at Helms Deep, Haldir among them and he would die.
It seemed cruel of the filmmakers somehow, he did not die in the book, and yet here he would because of their directorial decisions, his eternal life taken away from him. A life that if allowed to continue really had little impact on the One Ring. Perhaps though his death did have a consequence for the good in the grand scheme of things, like the butterfly effect.
'Oh that's bollocks.' She said to herself. A good elf would die in the randomness of battle, an elf that in the world of the books she loved got to live on. She stood before her mind had really caught up with her, she was not going to let him die.
She reached the heavy wooden doors where two old men dressed in reused armour guarded mournfully. "You have to let me out."
When they stared at her blankly she reached for the chain and quickly found herself being unceremoniously hauled away.
"What do you think you are doing?!"
"You cannot open that!"
She struggled against them but despite them being old they were still very strong.
"What is going on here?!" Eowyn placed a light but authoritative hand on one of the soldiers in a move that told them to let Amy go.
"She tried to leave the caves, we were instructed by the King to let no one out, under no circumstances!"
Eowyn looked at Amy and through the flushed face she could see steely determination. Aragorn had given her some clue as to who this girl was but she knew he had only scratched the surface of it. She knew that she would never be able to properly communicate with her but spoke slowly with hope. "You cannot go out there, it is too dangerous."
Amy read Eowyn's lips concentrating hard on every movement. "I have to." She answered silently. "I have to." She repeated again so Eowyn could see every word.
The shield maiden thought on this. Aragorn had called her their guide, did he need their guide now? What would occur if she kept Amy here? But she thought of her people and what lurked behind those doors, if she opened them to let Amy out she could not risk opening them again to let her back in.
The two women looked at each other for what seemed like an age before Eowyn nodded. Amy's relief was palpable.
"Open the gate, then barricade it shut." Eowyn barked her order to the bemusement of the guards and those around them. She then turned back to Amy and placed her hands on her shoulders. "I cannot reopen the gates once you are out. Do you understand?"
Amy did understand, she almost wished she hadn't. Legolas had always told her to run from battle, was she really willing to run straight into one?
"Amy do you understand?" Eowyn asked again as the final chain was removed from the gate.
Amy took hold of Eowyn's hands and squeezed them whilst she nodded. The action was supposed to reassure Eowyn but really Amy needed it for herself, and just like that she found herself with her back to the gate on the side of a battle.
It really was the wrong time to have second thoughts but she stood there in the Keep surrounded by the wounded who had fallen back to here for some respite. It was worse than a horror movie. She had to get out of here.
There was no epic bravery for Amy as she slowly made her way from the Keep and ducked behind columns until she could get a view of the battle raging below and on the Deeping Wall. It was a sight that left her catching her breath, as a silent battle played out before her. She dare nit waste any more time staring at the horror of it all so decided to press on determined to reach the top of the battlements where the King stood.
She reached it relatively quickly as the stones steps were empty, the men far too busy down below. King Theoden looked grim but determined as he commanded the army from above and although his eye was keenly trained on the battle he was quick to notice Amy hurrying up the stairs.
"You cannot be here. Gamling take her back to her caves."
She had no idea what he had shouted though the firm grip on her arm told her it wasn't good. She struggled against it but there was not much point. She was decidedly fed up of getting manhandled now by men who thought they knew better and felt keenly now what Eowyn must have felt. She had a decision to make, she could either let herself be dragged back to the Keep or she could carry on with what she set out to do. And so she bit Gamling on hand.
It had the desired effect and he yelled out in pain pulling his hand to his chest. It gave her the second she needed and she wrenched herself away from him and pulled herself up onto the battlement wall to try and spot him.
Legolas would always stand out in a crowd of humans but with so many elves joining the fight she looked from one blonde head to the next. Finally though, just as Gamling and another guard grabbed hold of her legs she saw him. And as if he felt her gaze, he looked up towards the battlements and saw Amy there drenched in rain being pulled down by the Rohirric guard.
She never saw it but on his face flashed a look of abject terror and his gut clenched in sickness. He stopped counting how many Uruk Hai he had killed as he slashed his way along the wall back to the battlement.
He was no less gentle as he pulled the two guards off her from behind leaving them sprawled on the floor. Amy did not know what had happened to them until she turned and saw Legolas standing there one knife still in his hand soaked in a black blood. She was so relieved to see him that she buried her face into his chest and gripped tightly to his shoulders.
He did not risk having her stay out here, even though they were holding the Uruks back for now, so reluctantly broke the half embrace and taking her hand pulled her back to the Keep.
"What are you doing out here?" His signs were frantic.
"I had to warn someone, Haldir. He dies, but he can be saved." It was not the most eloquent of explanations but in the time constraints it was the best she could come up with.
"You need to go back in the cave." He grabbed hold of her shoulder but she was not having any of it. She shoved him off and stood square up to him.
"No you need to listen to me" She shoved again at his grasping arms. Yes he had apologised but resentment still lingered. She was not going to be dismissed, she was not cold and unfeeling. She would make him listen. "Haldir is in danger, and I cannot let him die. He doesn't need to die. It's a waste...Please if you trust me, try, try and save him."
He could see what this meant to her, he could see what she was doing. She wasn't standing back and watching the world pass her by, she was doing something, she was making a difference. He blamed himself for his careless words earlier.
"I trust you. I will try my best Amy, but right now you must do something for me, you must get back in those caves."
She wanted to do that for him, she wished she could do that for him. "They're sealed. They could not risk opening them again."
He felt the sick thud of fear in his stomach. "You are brave and reckless." He looked around the Keep and took hold of her arm again leading her to the back of the Hall of the Keep and rather roughly pushed her behind a column. "I want you to stay here okay, do not move." It was not good enough, all it would take is one Uruk to slip past and enter the Keep and if it saw her it would kill her. Uruks took special delight in destroying the beautiful. He looked round but there was nothing else, this was it. "Promise me you will stay here." He pulled a hunting knife from his boot and pushed it into her own. "No heroics."
"I promise."
His heart told him to stay, to protect her but his head reminded him of his duty and of her request. So he said a silent pray to the Valar to keep her safe and left.