Any Means Necessary
I guess I was expecting to see the same set up as I did in the basement 10 years ago, but it was just a plain white room. The bed was made, with one small pillow, and a pretty thick blanket. There was one table by the bed, with a lamp on it. I could see the table bolted to the floor and the wall. All that looked normal and fine. What caught my eye was the box, a shoe box, opened on the bed. The detective sighed and turned to me after walking in a few more feet. I could still feel James behind me and was grateful he was here.
"Normally I wouldn't let anyone see evidence like this but…you're a special case, and I'll just ask if you want to touch anything you wear gloves." He pulled out a pair and without thinking I grabbed them. I slipped them on my fingers quick and took a step forward. "Would you like a pair?" I stopped and James shook his head. He was still behind me and gave a reassuring smile. I nodded and turned back. I walked very slowly to the bed. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was afraid, Tim himself was going to pop out and hurt me again. But logic stepped in and said that was stupid. So I walked all the way to the side of the bed, and looked up quick. I wasn't ready to see inside that shoe box and I just looked out the window that had bars on it. I sighed out and watched the detective walk to the other side of the bed and block my view of the window. "Logan you don't have to do this." I closed my eyes and remembered seeing and hearing Kendall crying and screaming at Tim to stop doing what he did to me. I opened my eyes fast and shook my head.
"I need to." He nodded and glanced down at the box. I sighed and just as I was going to look down I heard my loud and obnoxious ring tone. I jumped slightly and felt James right beside me. I quickly pulled my phone out and turned away from the bed. I saw James's home phone number and sighed. I turned to James and looked hopeful. "Can you please talk to him? I know its Kendall." He put up his hands and shook his head.
"That's your husband Logan. You deal with him." The ringing continued and I glanced down at the number. "And if you don't answer he'll freak out…"
"Hello?" I glared at James pressing the phone to my ear and he smiled.
"Hey! Where are you? Is James with you?"
"Uhm yeah…listen can I call you back?" The detective walked over to James who was still smiling at me.
"Did he not tell Kendall he was coming?" James shook his head grinning like an idiot and I turned away from them to face the blank white wall.
"Why? Where are you?"
"I'm just taking care of something with James."
"Okay…what?" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. He was not going to make this easy but I was not going to tell him what I was about to see because he'd come find me and probably yell. A lot. "And why couldn't you take care of it with me?"
"Kendall I really need to call you back…"
"No Logan. Tell me what's going on." I glanced back over at the detective and James who were both watching me curiously. I quickly walked to the door and walked out. I looked to the left and saw an exit going right out to the parking lot. I walked fast to it and forcefully pushed the door open. It slammed shut behind me. "Where are you?"
"I am taking care of something with James and when we get back I will explain."
"Explain to me right now."
"Kendal we are not having a fight. Just please trust me okay?"
"Trust? You want me to trust you? You left me this morning at God knows when, with James, didn't tell me you were leaving and now won't tell me what you're doing with James!"
"Are you accusing me of something?"
"Should I be?" My stomach twisted in knots and I leaned against the wall. It was pretty chilly out and I hated that he was so stubborn. He wasn't going to drop this unless I made him, and ignored him. "What is so God damn important you have to deal with it right now?!"
"Stop yelling at me. You're being an asshole. Just calm down and wait until I get home."
"Don't talk to me like I'm a child Logan."
"Then stop acting like one." I hung up fast and put my head back hitting it on the wall. I closed my eyes and sighed out hard. This is ridiculous. I should have just told him what I was doing, and left. I don't need to see what's in that box. It's not important. The cops were going to find Tim and put him away in prison. Because honestly, looking in this box would probably only make me feel worse and more angry.
But last night kept popping in my head. Tim tried killing us. He literally burned our house to the ground, and it destroyed Kendall. I had to look in this box, so I could justify killing this sick son of a bitch. I turned and pulled the door back open hard. I walked back into the hall slipping my phone back in my front pocket and stepped back into the room. James was standing by the bed looking down. The detective was across form him and they both turned to me. James looked pale. Like he was seconds from throwing up. He looked down at the ground fast and I swallowed hard walking over to the bed. I stepped around James a little and glanced down fast. My heart stopped. My brain shut off. I was seeing all of it, but I wasn't understanding any of it. There was only three things in the box but each one of them made me feel even worse for the phone call I just had with Kendall.
The first thing I stared at was on the left side of the box. It was a little black notebook. It looked really used and old. On the front was a picture. Of me. I felt like taking the book out and ripping it all up, without even seeing what's inside. But I quickly scanned over to the other side of the small box. It was a stupid action figure doll we had made at the height of our fame. It was of Kendall. The face was scratched out and messed up. Parts of the little body were black form being burned. If no one thought this guy wasn't sick before, they had serious proof now. I glanced up not sure how to even go on looking at this stuff, but the thing in the middle that I tried to ignore was drawing me back in. I looked back down and felt my mouth drop open. Right in the center of the box was a picture frame. A small picture frame, and the picture inside mad my legs shake and my head spin. It was of Mr. Jones and his little boy. They were dead. A bullet in the middle of each of their heads. I could feel someone stand next to me and then heard someone walk over to the other side of bed. Seeing all of this made me so mad at myself. I just had a fight with Kendall, and there was a guy out there, ready to kill him. I didn't even tell Kendall I loved him, and what if I never got that chance? I reached in the box, grabbing the notebook and raising it up. I saw the detective on the other side and he sighed.
"We already read through it. It's not good Logan." I extended it over to him and he stared at me.
"Read…read it…please." He glanced over at James who I wouldn't even dare to look at and finally sighed. He took it from my hands and flipped it open. He turned to a specific page and cleared his throat.
"It isn't easy to put on a smile and act like I'm happy. The doctors have no idea I've been putting the pills under my tongue and then spitting them out when they leave. I don't need a stupid white pill. I need my Logan. That has only ever been my reason for living. Without him, I'm lost, and scared, and sad. I should have probably told him that but I was completely distracted by anger. Specially because of…him. I choose not to say or even write his name, because that's when my temper rises and I get sent back to the small boring padded room. So for now and forever all I will think about is my Logan and hope when I get out of here, he will understand everything I've done has been strictly for Logan. And I can promise when I get out, I will kill…him…and make Logan mine once and for all. At any means necessary." He stopped and looked up sighing.
"Is that it?" My voice sounded normal but it wasn't anything to how I was actually feeling.
"No…this whole thing is filled, top to bottom, front and back. He's confessed to over 20 murders and talks about a few different ways of killing Kendall…"
"Detective." I turned and James was glaring at him. The guy looked down and shook his head. "Why hasn't he been found? Why are you guys here and not finding this asshole?"
"James…" I put a hand on his arm and he turned to me. "Let's just go home. Please. I need to see Kendall." He nodded and looked back at the detective. I turned us both quick and puled James out with me. As we walked back down the halls, my nerves were fading, and my heart was getting closer to breaking. When we made it outside, my legs turned to Jell-O and I fell against James who easily caught me.
"It's okay…I got you." He wrapped around me and walked me back to his car. He dug through my front pocket and grabbed his keys as he propped me up against the door. When he opened the passenger door, he helped me in and quickly buckled me up. When the door was slammed shut, I jumped and my brain switched back on. I watched James walk quickly to his side and get in.
"I need to call him." I pulled out my phone and he nodded turning the car on. I dialed James's home number and put it to my ear. James pulled out and quickly drove to the front gate. The phone rang a few times and by the time we drove out of the gate, the answering machine came on and I sat back sighing, irritated. I listened to the whole message until the beep. "Kendall…please, answer the phone and let me know that you're okay. I'm sorry about the fight. I love you and I'm…just sorry. I should have woken you up. I went to Sacramento Kendall, to see Tim's room. He's…so fucked up and I need you to make sure you will stay there, and not let the kids go anywhere until the cops find him. He's been…" I was cut off by a click, and then a few beeps. I turned to James and he sighed speeding down the road getting onto eh highway.
"You can't leave a very long message on the machine. Sorry." I frowned but sat back and put my phone in my lap. "He'll be fine. You know Kendall. He won't let those kids out of his sights. Trust me." I nodded and gazed out the window watching the rest of the world go by, while my whole world seemed to stop completely on its axis.