Just One More Chance.
Chapter XXI.
"How Much of Human Life is lost in waiting." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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Maxi feels like he is stuck in the middle. He hugs his toy Heartless closer to his chest and sighs deeply. At the moment, his short, fragile life is at crumbling point, and he can't stop it from falling apart. He is deeply concerned about dear Lexaeus, and hopes that he will get better soon… but he is also worried about the rest of his family.
Zexion will stare blankly at everything when no one talks to him, and he doesn't eat dinner, really… and he is quiet all the time. Zexion's normally quiet from time to time when he's tired or relaxing, but this new silence is distressing and unnerving. Like the man isn't actually there, like he is out of his body. And Lex never wants to play anymore. He's just horribly quiet too and goes off for walks outside for hours on end. Nothing is right in Maxi's world.
He is just a kid. What is he meant to do? Just thinking about it hurts his head. He lays down on the bed, curling up on his side into a ball, like a little cold hedgehog. Spooky is tucked just under his chin. He nibbles lightly on the tip of one of the long antennas, to comfort himself. He thinks about Zexion in the other bedroom, and frowns even more. He might be laying on his bed just like the boy is; curled up and hugging his knees. He might be crying again, because he does that a lot these days. He says he doesn't but Maxi knows he lies because he can hear him through the bathroom door from time to time. Zexion doesn't want to seem weak in front of the children; the boy knows that. He was once upon a time, Number Six of Organization Thirteen, the Clocked Schemer, the powerful Nobody of illusion. Now he is just a mortal human and life is not going his way.
There is a knock at the front door so Maxi gets up to answer it because he knows Zexion will not do it. He doesn't leave his room much nowadays. The kid walks across the carpeted floor of the den and opens the latch. Vexen is standing in the hallway, Xaviera in the crook of his arm.
"…Hi."
"Hello Maxi." Vexen is using a soft, careful voice with him. "How are you?"
The boy shrugs once. "I guess I doing better then Papa at the moment."
"Is that all you are wearing?" Xaviera asks, referring to Zexion's old jumper Maxi is wearing for nightclothes, which acts like a practical long-sleeved, knee-low nightgown for him. The lad shakes his head.
"No, it's not." He starts to tug up the jumper. "I'm wearing underpants."
"Erm, we will take your word on it, little one" Vexen says quickly before the boy pulls the shirt all the way up. "I think what Xaviera means is, don't you have anything else to wear?"
"Not really. Papa hasn't done the laundry for a few days, and I don't know how to use the washing machine."
Vexen gives one slight nod. "He doesn't leave the bedroom often, does he?"
"Nope." Maxi runs his fingers through his slightly greasy hair. "I think he is turning into a hermat."
"I think you mean "hermit", Maxi" Xaviera corrects him.
"Yeah. That's it."
Vexen places his girl onto the ground gently, and steps around the children, toward the master bedroom.
"I'm going to talk to him." He turned the handle and looked inside without asking. The room is dark, curtains still closed and Zexion is curled up on the bed, hugging his knees so tightly that it doesn't look very comfortable. Vexen shakes his head. Well, at least the boy is washed and dressed. That was a good sign. The man closes the door behind him and walks over to the bed quietly, perching himself on the edge of the mattress. He waits for a moment, looking at the younger man with a calm expression until Zexion lifts his head slightly. His pale blue eyes are large and they blink slowly at the scientist. "How are you feeling today, Zexion?" the man asks.
"…Honestly," the boys says, "I feel like crap."
"Zexion, I've come to talk to you about your behaviour."
"What about it?"
Vexen folds his hands over his lap. "Lexaeus and I had a talk before he left for the trip." Zexion lifts his head a little more at the name of his lover, so Vexen knows he is listening. "He said that he was worried about you. He said you were miserable and throwing up for no reason, and we both think that you sure suffering from a major depressive disorder." Zexion doesn't do anything in reaction or response, and Vexen doesn't know if that is good or bad. "Obviously, this is not healthy. It's not good for you or the boys in fact. I know you have your reasons to be upset, but you can't live like this… I have a idea that can help your aliment, but I want you to think about it first." He reaches into his pocket, which is positively bulging, and pulls out a small bottle with tiny white pills rattling inside. Zexion furrows his brow, taking offence. He hits the man's hand hard and the bottle falls onto the bed.
"Are you a idiot?" he spits angrily. "Drugs are not going to solve anything!"
"I know that!" Vexen picks up the bottle again, scowling back. "But they will control your feelings."
"I'm not taking them." Zexion turns his back on the man, embracing himself with his thin arms. "I can handle myself."
"That's the problem, Zexion" Vexen sighs. "You can't. To tell the truth, without Lexaeus you are nothing but a lump of woeful soul."
"…Shut up, you arse."
"And what about the children? You can't control Lex and Maxi looks terrible…" Vexen lowers his head, chewing on his lip. "If your behaviour doesn't improve, the boys might be taken away from you."
Zexion looks at him, pale as a sheet. His voice is small and ghostly. "…What?"
"Think about it, Zexion. No one who is depressed and can't even look after himself is seen as fit to care for two young children. You would never want them to be taken out of your custody, do you?" The boy shakes his head and Vexen sighs. "That is what I thought… Zexion, I can't shove these down your throat, but Lexaeus asked me to keep an eye on you."
"…He did?"
"Yes. At least think about taking them for the children's sakes, if not for yourself. Lexaeus would never want to see you like this."
"…What are the side effects?" Zexion asks. Knowing that he would ask that question, Vexen brought the information pamphlet along with him. He pulls it out of his pocket and flips through the pages until he found the one on side effects. He passes it to Zexion, who reads it extra carefully. The page reads as follows:
Common side effects may include but not all: headaches, nausea, diarrhoea, urination problems (i.e. slowing in starting and stopping when passing urine), agitation (restlessness), xerostomia (dry mouth), skin rash, blurred vision, dizziness, drowsiness, slight tremors, weight loss/gain and sexual problems such as lack of sexual libido/desire, erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia (failure to achieve orgasm.)
In rare cases, side effects such as hepatitis, heart problems, strokes and seizures may arise for unhealthy and/or elderly consumers. Serotonin syndrome may also be a side effect with combining this product with other certain medications.
"I don't think you will have any of those rarer problems" Vexen reassure him. Zexion frowns slightly all the same.
"…I-I don't know. What if something happens to me? These are problems for a normal person. I am not normal. I somewhat died two times before, so that must have changed my health.
"It's all we have" Vexen says softly with a half-shrug.
"…I had a dream last night" Zexion says blankly, staring at the page until his vision goes blurry. Vexen listens to him with a tight, studious expression. "I dreamed Lexaeus was laying in a coffin and he wouldn't wake up. No matter how many times I shook him and screamed at him and hit him, he would just lay there and I was shivering all over, and I was crying my eyes out, and I shouted his name until my voice was nothing but a raspy croak… I woke up suddenly in a cold sweat and salty tears trickling down my cheeks, trying to work out why I would dream that at all, why my mind conjured that imagery and for a moment, I thought I had gone complete mad."
A moment passes without words from either man. Zexion breaks it again. "…I'm going to need time to think about this," he sighs, placing the leaflet on the bedside table. He returned to his curled-up position from before. "I have a lot to consider." His face is hidden against his knees again and Vexen sighs silently, shrugging. He has done all he can. He gets off the bed and walks over to the door, opening it so quickly that Xaviera and Maxi jump away from it sharply to move out of his way. The door closes and Vexen offers the girl a open hand. Knowing what it means, she takes it into hers. The man looks down at Maxi and places his free hand on his shoulder.
"I know you are young" he tells the child, "but please keep a eye on him."
Maxi nods his head a dozen times. "Yes, Vexen."
The children wave goodbye briefly and the ice mages leave. So Maxi is alone again in the silence and emptiness of the temporary accommodation. He can easily go back to bed again and try to sleep, hoping that in a few hours Zexion would be well enough to leave his room for the day. Maybe Lex would come back again from his walk and lay down with him. Even though Lex often acts cold towards everyone recently, it's nice to watch him sleep, and wonder what he was dreaming about. It is fun admiring all the angles and lines of his face; his high cheekbones and broad forehead, contrasting with his long curls of earthy hair and pinkish, soft lips and pretty, sapphire eyes. When Maxi got caught doing that before everything happened, Lex would just laugh and tease him playfully, calling him "weird" and a "strange thing." Now, he just got angry, made a grunted noise and rolled over to turn his back on the young illusionist. That's always hurts.
Taking a deep breath, Maxi enters Zexion's bedroom and moves softly, closing the door and waking on tiptoes over to the bed. He crawls on to the duvet and kneels by the man's side. He runs his small hand over silky hair, stroking his head lovingly. After awhile, Zexion lifts his head, smiling weakly at the child who just keep stroking his head.
"Do you want me to make you some tea or something?" Maxi asks sweetly. Zexion shakes his head.
"No, thank you. You don't have to do that for me, darling." He takes the hand from his hair and gives it a slight squeeze with his. "Maxi, sweetheart, you like me, don't you?"
"I love you, Papa," the boys smiles. "I will always love you."
"…Can I hold you for awhile?" the man asks. "That might make me feel better, hugging you close. I could use with something nice like that." Maxi nods his head and snuggles up again the man's side, nuzzling his chest as he wraps his arms around his thin waist. Zexion embraces the boy back, rubbing his fingers gingerly against his back, pressing his lips against his soap-smelling scalp. Yes, this feels nice. It helps a lot for the moment.
------
Zexion sets Maxi's dinner of spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce on toast onto the table in front of him and the boy mumbles a thank you. As he begins to eat, arms wrapped around his neck loosely, and one of the hands brush his long hair out of his face. Maxi doesn't push Zexion away. He did a little reading-up on people with major depressive disorder in the castle library. Either the suffer pushes people away from them and make themselves isolated, or they can get clingy to others and rely on them to comfort them.
Thinking about his guardian, Maxi believes that Zexion is a mix of both the former and the latter. He pushes some away but holds onto others, and his family are the ones he holds. Without Lexaeus, Zexion has no one to latch onto, so maybe he is now using Maxi as his comfort source. He is to Zexion as Spooky is to him.
"I'm not making it difficult for you to eat, am I?" Zexion asks, his eyes full of uncertainty. Maxi shakes his head with a faint smile, moving his head towards the hand with the same manner of a kitten. Truthful, he wants to be hugged. He is clingy too. They can comfort each other.
"Where is Lex?" the boy asks, glancing over to the empty chair to his right. Zexion looks too for a fleeting moment. Lex has been running off to the Gods only know where, and hasn't been seen all day. He has not even answered his phone.
"…Maybe I should try and call him again" is the man's only answer. He doesn't have to, as the door opens and closes with a terrible, angry bang. They look over their shoulders. The small kitchenette is connected to the den, and at the front door they can see Lex shrugging off his jacket, his eyes always on the floor. "Oh, speak of the devil." Zexion slides his arms away from his charge and walks across the room, a stern look in his eyes. "And where have you been, young man?"
"I've just been out for a walk" Lex huffs, not looking at him. "Is it a crime to do so?"
"No, but it would have been nice if you told me where you were." Zexion stands tall, trying his best to appear in control of the situation. "It's not very nice to wonder where you have gotten to and worry over you."
"Sorry" Lex says blankly, not really meaning it. He puts his jacket on the hook and walks across the den. "I'll be in the bedroom."
"Are you not going to have anything to eat?" Zexion challenges. The way he said it suggested that he wants the boy to eat, demanding him to, rather then asking. Lex gives him a screwed, tart expression over his shoulder before turning back toward the door.
"I'm not hungry" he grunts, placing a hand onto the handle.
"Wait one goddamn minute!" Zexion storms over to him, and made the boy face him properly, although Lex's head still lolls downward. Maxi stays into his chair and watches quietly, his tea forgotten and getting cold. Zexion captures Lex's chin between his fingers and makes the chil face him, but Lex's eyes are clouded over, staring through the man like air. "What was that nasty little look you just gave me?"
"Nothing." Lex pulls away sharply, brow furrowed. "You're being paranoid."
"Don't insult me, Lex" Zexion hisses. "I have worried about you and I tried phoning you for the past two hours. Now you come back with a ghastly attitude--"
"Why should you care?" the boy growls. "You're not my father, I'm not your responsibility." Zexion looks like he had just been slapped in the face, hard. His lips twist into a scowl, his eyes burning like blue hellfire.
"You little…" He is so close to swearing at him, but bites his tongue. He just stares into the boy, who just stares back just as harshly. "I hold shared custody over you and Maximus," he says with a low hiss to his voice. "With your father here or not, I am still responsible over you--"
"Then do your job right!" Lex barks. Zexion took a sharp step back away from him. "You haven't been looking after us properly at all! Most of the time, you just lock yourself in your room and act like a child yourself." Zexion shivers but manages to calm down again. Lex is never like this. He is a quiet boy, the type that hardly raised his voice or his fists. This is obviously his unpredictable but rarely-seen temper he gained from Lexaeus.
"Lex," he tries to remain controlled, "I know that you are very angry about what is happening and what has happened to us. However, we should not fall out amongst ourselves. That is just going to make things worse."
The boy looks at him for a moment, then looks away, scoffing. "Whatever."
"Lex!"
"You're so selfish, Zexion!" The boy's eyes are almost black with fury, and the man backs away completely. "You haven't even gone to see Dad at all. He may not be awake, but I thought as his lover, you should be by his bedside. I am the only one who has been seeing to him out of the three of us. I seem to be the only one who cares about him."
"I love Lexaeus," Zexion insists. "I just… I just…"
"Just what?" the boy spits. "Well?" Zexion looks away from his judging eyes, wrapping his arms around himself as he was trying hold himself together, like he's a rag doll becoming unstitched.
"…I don't want to see him in that state" he whimpers. Lex rolls his eyes, before opening the bedroom door and slamming it behind him with a grumble.
"Selfish brat." The bang makes Zexion flinch as looks at the ground with shame. All he can hear is his own heartbeat, blood rushing through him like a high-tide ocean. Tears fall from his eyes, splashing against the floor. Maxi climbs off his chair, pulling down his shirt again to cover everything. He takes a few steps over to the man.
"Papa," he calls out but Zexion doesn't react. "Papa, please. He's upset. I sure he doesn't--" Zexion just goes into his own room, closing the door behind him so Maxi doesn't have to watch him cry. The boy feels like cry too for a moment, then a new feeling close into him - Hatred. Anger for Lex. He can feel it boiling up inside him, from the pit of his gut, to his curled little toe and to his aching head. He never felt so bitter before. Then again, no one had made his father cry before… Lex is the selfish brat here. Not Zexion. He races into the bedroom, where Lex is changing his shirt and he pushes him into the set of drawers. Lex howls at the push and the crash, holding his ribs. He gives Maxi a shove back, making him fall back onto the floor.
"What the hell was that?" he snaps at the younger boy. Maxi glared up at him, standing his ground.
"You made my papa cry."
"Good" Lex scoffs. "He deserves it."
"No he does not!" Maxi screams. "He has depression, Lex. Depression. He is mentally unstable and he is missing Lexaeus like crazy. I know you are worried over your dad, but they have been together for years and years. It's difficult for him. He lost him already. Twice. All of this is scaring him."
"What about us?" Lex stresses. "What about you and me, Maxi? What are we to do? My father is in a coma and yours is not helping. We are only little and can't care for ourselves. We can't act as their carers. It doesn't work like that."
"I know!" Maxi stands up again, taking hold of the elder boy's hand in his own two palms. "I know that Lex, but they need our help now. Papa needs our help. Shouting at him is not going to help.
"There you go again" Lex sighs gruffly. He pulls his hand away. "Taking his side and leaving me in the blank. Just because he is your parent."
"It's not like that!" the boy screeches, pulling at his own hair. "I love you too but--"
"Forget it." Lex pulls his new, clean shirt over his head and walks around Maxi easily enough, like he's nothing, out of the room. Maxi strides after him.
"Where are you going?"
"To the medical room, to see Dad for awhile." Lex pauses before the front door and looks back towards Maxi. Something close to humanity crosses his face. Like he is begging, but only with his eyes. "Are you coming with me?" Maxi's soft lips thin into a line. He wants to go with Lex, maybe make him feel better and rekindled their friendship to perfection again… but… He looks over the door of the master bedroom. Lex sighs, shaking his head. "Typical" he grumbles. "Why did I bother asking?"
He leaves, closing the door behind him. Maxi stands there for a moment, a tiny figure in the dark, before going into the bedroom. Zexion is curled up on his side on the bed, crying into his pillow like a child in pain. Maxi climbs onto the bed with him, stroking his hair and he bows his head to press his lips against a wet cheek. The man takes hold of a small hand, meshing fingers together.
"I'm sorry, Maxi" he whispers, twisting around to wrap his arms around the child's slim frame.
"It's okay." The child kisses him again. "…Will you really think about the medication, Papa?"
"Yes." Zexion nods his head over and over again. "Yes, yes, yes. I'll think about it, Maxi."
"…Lex is just angry at the moment," Maxi smiles. "I'm sure he doesn't mean any of it."
"I know but…" Zexion closes his eyes, burying his nose into his son's hair. "It still hurts."
------
One of them has to visit him. It is only right. Everybody else has, leaving a shrine of well-wishing cards. A small bouquet of blossoms from Xanthe and Marluxia have been living in the jug on the table, and have been alive for aged.
It's still strange seeing his guardian like this, in a hospital bed, hooked up to a machine that quietly beeps in rhyme with his pulse. Well, at least it's beeping, right? At least it's steady. Lex sighs softly, pulling his feet up onto his chair to hugs his knees. He feels awkward, and the tubes in the man's arm and the bandages in his chest makes him feel ill. He tries not to look at them, gazing at Lexaeus' face instead. His face is peaceful, like he's just sleeping and Lex wishes so much that it's just that.
Whoever did this to his guardian, whoever that coward was who was evil enough to put Lexaeus through this, he hates him. They still haven't found anyone and it is torturing him. He hates this, this whole trauma. He might be just his Replica, but Lex loves Lexaeus. He knows he does. People might say he can't truly care about anyone with his fake little heart, but he knows. No one else does.
Lex reaches out and holds Lexaeus' fingers in his hands. They are warm and coarse like normal but they don't grip back as normal. They just lay limp in his palm, with no nerves or any movement. Lexaeus is not his father at the moment. His dad would smile and laugh as he picked him up and lifted him up above his head and hang him upside down by his ankles. He could keep up with him and Maxi, and run about with them easily. Now? Maybe he couldn't, ever again. Because he is weak and ill like everyone told him in their most nicest, pitying voices.
People might say he deserves it, for all the bad things he did as a Nobody. For all the destruction of worlds and slaying people for their hearts. Apparently he was a bad, maybe evil person as a Nobody but Lex didn't care about his past. That is not the man he knows; that is not his Lexaeus, his father. His dad is nice, and caring, and would never hurt someone out of no reason. His dad is a good man.
Lex brushes a drop of water from his eye. He is not crying, he tells him, he can't cry. He heard somewhere that people in comas may still be able to hear in this state. He wasn't sure if this was completely true, or if it was, if Lexaeus is one of those people who can hear. Gingerly, Lex moves from his chair onto the bed, trying his best not to move anything. He places his hand on the man's chest lightly, away from the wound, but he can still hear his heartbeat. Lex sighing in relief at how strong the rhyme is under the bandages and skin.
"…Dad?" He uses a very soft, quiet voice, as if he's coaxing the man slowly awake. "…Dad… I don't know if you can hear my voice but… I need someone to talk to, although you can't talk back." He shuffles a little, so he can feel the man's warm breath on his face and can smell his earthy aroma. "…I've been fighting with Zexion a lot" he admits. "I even made him cry today. I don't like fighting with him but… he hasn't done much about all of this. He's like a child but he is not. He is just… I called him a selfish brat, and I know you say that calling people names is not nice, but I couldn't help myself… Maxi has taken his side of the argument, so I'm all alone at the moment. It feels like that anyway."
He can't stop himself from crying this time, so he just lets to tears trickle down his cheek. He sniffs violently, his vision blurred so much that he can't see Lexaeus properly until he blinks it clear. "They have a better relationship with each other then they do with me, because they are the same but… I don't like being pushed out. The only way I get attention from them is if I fight and shout and rebel, but you know I'm really not like that, right?" He asks the question knowing that the man can't answer, but he knows Lexaeus understands that he is a good child at heart, through-and-through.
"…Maybe they will be better off without me now," he mumbles. "I look a lot like you… Maybe I look so much like you, it pains Zexion to look at me because I remind him of you… I don't know anymore. All I know is that I'm causing problems, and they probably hate me now…" Slowly, Lex crawls over and lays down with Lexaeus, moving his still arm so it's around Lex's shoulders. "I'll just stay here until morning, then I will leave you alone." He kisses the man's forehead. "I'll leave everyone alone."
When Vexen comes back to check on Lex, the boy is curled up on the bed, close to his father's body so his head is resting against the warm, broad chest. He looks slightly upset, but more content then he did before. Vexen doesn't have the heart to wake him up and tell him to go to his room, so he wraps him in the spare blanket from the end of the bed and leaves him there for the night.
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"Papa! Papa, wake up!"
Zexion looks up at the screaming Maxi, startled. "Maxi, what's wrong?"
"Lex is missing!" The young child is shivering all over in worry, his eyes spilling over with tears. "He didn't come to bed last night, and I asked everyone in the castle where he was, then Vexen said he was in Lexaeus' room, but he wasn't! I came back here to tell you, then I realised a lot of his clothes are missing too, and his guitar, and his pocket munny box in empty, and some food is missing from the fridge, and-and-and--" The boy stutters into sods and heavy wails. Zexion looks at him in disbelieve, his ear not believing the child's words. He shakes his head slowly from side to side.
"He… He cannot have run away… Why would he…" At once, Zexion jumps out of bed and gets himself dressed, pulling on a coat and a pair of sturdy shoes. Maxi blinks slowly at him, calming down slightly, but still miserable.
"Where are you going?"
"To look for Lex. He took a lot of stuff with him, so he couldn't have gotten too far nor gone by without someone seeing him…" Although tired and aching all over, Zexion is determined to find him, no matter what. He makes for the door, but tiny hands grab his sleeve, stopping him.
"You can't go on your own" Maxi insists. "I'll come with you."
"No. You're ill, you're weak and I might lose you too." Zexion takes hold of his round shoulders. "I don't want to lose both of you."
"But I want to help!"
"…Maybe you can," Zexion bows down to his height. "Phone everyone up, and ask if they have seen Lex, or if Lex is with them. If not, asked them if they can help look for him."
"Yes, Papa" Maxi says, nodding his head. Zexion smiles at him and kisses his head.
"We will find him. We must find him."
------
The search has come up fruitless. No one has seen Lex, and even with many if the Organization and the Committee looking for him, the child has not turned up. They even looked in the forest that surround the city, but it was hopeless. It was like the child had disappeared off the face of the world. It was growing dark for the evening, and they had to stop their search for the day, much to Zexion's protecting. He would have likely to have searched to the early hours of the next morning, if it was not for the others telling him it wasn't safe, and he had another child waiting for him to come home. Zexion pulls off his coat and kicks off his shoes. The quarters are eerily quiet.
"Maxi?" The smell of bail is strong and he goes to the bathroom, the source of the stench. Maxi is sleeping on the floor, and he smells of sick. He had been throwing-up because of the stress. Zexion kneels down, shacking the boy softly. "Maxi, I'm home."
The boy blinks up at him, reaching up to touch the man's face. "Did you find him?" Zexion shakes his head, and Maxi drops his hand back down, disappointed. The man pulls him up from the floor, and onto his lap, holding him close.
"I'm sorry" Zexion whispers. "It's my fault he ran off. I didn't care for him properly, and my behaviour must have pushed him away. Lex was right… I am a spoilt brat."
"It's my fault" Maxi insists. "I should have given him more support… I still have you, but he doesn't have his own father at the moment... I'm selfish too."
"…It doesn't matter who is at fault," Zexion sighs. "Maybe it's both of us. All that matters is finding Lex and getting our lives sorted out once and for all… I will get a job." He tells the boy and himself sternly about the last point. "I will get a good job, so we can save up lots of munny to move out of the castle, and I will take the antidepressants. I rather have those side effects then be like this forever."
"…Will Lex be alright on his own?" Maxi asks.
"I'm sure he will. He's a clever child, and he's strong-willed. I'm sure he will be fine…" Zexion says that, but in the back of his mind, he is in hysterical grief. Lex could be sleeping rough tonight, or anyone could have got him. He is just a child, no matter how you look at it.
------
Zexion's head is a whirlwind of worry and nerves and dizziness.
He is sat outside the office of a banking director, waiting for an job interview to be one of the new accountants. He made sure he looked the part, wearing his best clothes and he pushed his fringe out of his face so he looks more mature and professional, but in the back of his mind, he is thinking about Lexaeus' health, and Lex's safety, and Maxi's peace. Their happiness, overall. Family is number one and number two to him now. Even if it meant being turned down for work again and again, and having to take medication to control his emotions. The door opens and the prim-looking assistant appears next to him, glancing at her chipboard for his name.
"Mister… Zexion?" He smiles because not having a surname has thrown her off a little. "You can come in now." Zexion nods once. With shaken breath, he pulls himself out of his chair, and walks calmly into the room.
------
For days now, Zexion has been going to job interviews and every time he had been turned down. He would come back with a frown on his face, and Maxi would give him a hug, telling him take he would be lucky next time. Apparently, it's was because Zexion is under-qualified for most jobs. Maxi scoffs at that the excuse. His papa was once an apprentice to Ansem the Wise for the love of the Gods, or did everybody suddenly forget about that?
Maxi has been helpful for his father. While his father was out, he tidied everything up and polished surfaces and put the kettle on for some tea when Zexion returned. He washed his hair all by himself, and got dressed properly for the first time in weeks. While waiting, the boy tried to read but the words just keep getting jumbled up, and he kept reading the same sentence over and over again. He got sick and tired of that, opting to tidying up again.
Hearing the front door open, Maxi races to greet Zexion. The man is looking at the ground, hidden under his hair, looking like a failure. Maxi frowns, sighing sadly and looked at the ground too. Zexion lifted his head and smirks, placing his hands to his hips.
"What's with the miserable face?" he asks light-heartedly. "You're acting as if I didn't get the job." Maxi looks up with wide, surprised eyes, then smiles. A proper big, toothy smile that hurts his cheeks from the weeks of not grinning. He throws himself into Zexion's arms, who spins him around a few times with glee, both laughing.
"I'm so proud of you, Papa" the boy squeals, kissing the man's cheek as the twirling slowed down. "You really have the job?"
"For true," Zexion says happily. "I'll be on training and review for awhile, but I've got this job in the palm of my hands." He swings the boy around again just for the laugh of it, making him giggle. "Things are getting better for us, Maxi. We will save lots of munny and moves out of here at last…" He presses his nose against the child's, sighing. "He just need our Lexaeus and Lex to come home now. That's all we need, hum?"
"Yeah." Maxi rests his head against his guardian's chest. "I want them back too."
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Sleeping in the woods surrounding the city isn't so bad. Lex knows what plants are edible and he found a cave in a rock face so he can shelter from the rain. He can even make the stone soft and yielding so he can sleep more comfortably… but it isn't nice. It gets cold and too damp too often, and he has lost all track of time. He doesn't know how long he had been out here; days defiantly, maybe a week. He misses the Organization, and he misses his family. Although he had been screaming and fighting with Zexion and Maxi for the longest time, he still loves them and he misses them like crazy.
The nights are the worse. Lex makes a new fire in his cave every night with the right flint and dry snapped braches and he sits down in front of it, rubbing his hands slowly. A chill dances down his spine and he hisses through his chattering teeth, wrapping his arms around himself. January is a brisk mouth, and even in his thick winter coat, Lex can feel the cool wind down his neck, breezing passed his long hair. He thinks about the warmth of the castle and the bed he and Maxi had been sharing, how nice and cosy it was. He pushes that thought out of his head. It was just making things feel worse.
There is a noise in the distance. A sound of bushes being walking through, and Lex's hairs stand on end. It sounds far too big to be a common woodland animal. The noise draws closer, and he stands sharply, stomping out his fire in a few jumps. The flames die and he stays low, looking out into the trees outside to find the source of the noise. He has no doubt that it is a human of some sorts. All the stories about serial murders come rushing to his mind, and of paedophiles who look for children out by themselves, without anyone to protect them and they make their victims suffer. There are some that rape children and then kill them, so they can't tell about their crime, leaving their bodies in the most horrible, bloody, shameful damage.
Lex whimpers. Why did he run away? He was safe and loved back in the city. Now he's at risk of being killed and harmed, and no one would save him, help him, tell him that it will be alright. He panics and starts to run, away from the cave and the approaching stranger. He leaps over raised roots and uneven ground, dodging tree trunks and brush. He is scared. Frightened beyond what he can understand. All he can think about doing was running. Running fast and running a great distance. Making a lot of ground between him and whoever it was that was following him.
He doesn't see the sudden drop and he tumbles down the ditch with a yelp, landing in the large puddle of muddy water and clay below. He picks himself off again, tears running down his cheeks to the corners of his mouth, so he can taste dirt and salt water on his tongue. He tries to control himself, and manages to scramble back up the sides of the ditch. That fall has slowed him down and his ribs hurt from the landing, making it painful to run; but he has to. He can't get caught. He can't die…
"Got you!" Arms grab him and hold him tight, and he screams, kicking and thrashing against the hold, crying like a lunatic. The capturer holds him tightly, and he places a hand over his mouth. The boy tries to bite down, but they are leather-clad. The man shouts for him to stop, and Lex recognizes the voice. He looks up, into the angry face of a young brunet, scarred man with stern eyes. Oddly enough, Lex is frilled to see him.
"…L-Leon?" he mewls.
"Do you know," the man growls, "what you have been putting everybody through?" The boy has never seen him so angry. Leon was so calm normally. Was his actions really that bad?
Cloud appeared through the greenery and shadows, and he smiles. "You caught him" he says, happily enough.
"Only just." Leon grabs Lex by the shoulders and gives him a shake. The boy whimpers again. "What in the name of the Gods do you think you are playing that? We have been looking all over for you! Zexion has been worried sick!"
"…He-he has?" the boys asks timidly. "…I t-thought he hated me."
"Would someone who hated you spend all his time looking for you, asking everyone in the street about you, show people your picture like it would help them remember?" Cloud quizzes. Lex's eyes winded… He didn't know. He didn't know Zexion loved him that much.
"How stupid can you be?" Leon snarls. "You could have died! You could have been abducted. You could have…" Leon trails off as Lex starts howling and bawling, burying his woeful face into his hands. Leon removes his grip, finishing his scolding. The child has been through enough and obviously learned his lesson. He is cold and dirty and lonely and wants to go back. Carefully, Leon picks him up and the men take him back to the cave first to collect his belongings, before taking him back to the castle. Lex cries all the way there.
------
He thought that Zexion would scream at him, would refuse to see him at all when he got back, but he surprised the boy. The man didn't do any of that. He smiled when he saw Lex at the door and he throw his arms around him, embracing him, telling him how much he missed him and loved him and he gave him a few kisses here and there. He was so happy to see him. He took him inside and told him to go and have a nice shower. The man made him a toasted cheese sandwich, and laid him out fresh pyjamas out for him.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Lex asks shyly when he gets out of the bathroom, and Zexion has his food on the table. The man doesn't understand his question.
"What do you mean?"
"I ran away," Lex frowns. "Remember? That is a bad thing to do, and I shouted at you and called you names. You should dislike me at the very least." Zexion laughs under his breath, shaking his head. He combs his finger through the brown curls, a loving look in his eyes.
"I admit I was upset that you would run away" he says softly. "I admit I was terrified about you. I would wake up in the night, praying that you were safe. I blamed myself for that. I wanted to make things right between us. I love you like you are my son, just as I feel for Maxi, and I would never, could never hate you."
Lex blinks up at him, then smiles weakly. He wraps his arms around the man's waist. "I love you too, Zexion."
"I know." Zexion nuzzles his hair. "And you know I have to tell Lexaeus abou this when he wakes up."
"Yeah. I know."
"Promise me that you will never do that again."
"I promise."
"Thank you." He kisses his hair and leans the boy into his chair, pulling his plate into closer. "Come on. Eat your meal, brush your teeth and go to bed. Try not to wake up Maxi as you do." Lex happily eats the first plate of hot food he has had in a long time, gives his teeth a good brushing and kisses Zexion goodnight, leaving a peppermint-scented peak on his cheek. He slips into the room, and a few moments later, Zexion can hear Maxi squealing with delight and the noise of him tackling Lex to the ground, ever so pleased to see him again. Zexion laughs, wondering if he would do the same to Lexaeus.
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Zexion had to bundle up all his nerves and courage to entry the medical room, but he has managed it. He creeps over to Lexaeus' bed and sits by his side, watching him sleeping so peacefully, despite everything. At least like this, the man isn't stressed by problems and trails. A smile spread across the boy's face and he takes hold of a large hand with the both of his, feeling his work-worn palms and long fingers.
"We are fine, just so you know" Zexion whispers. "We've had a few struggles but… we got through them. I'll tell you about them later." He leans down and presses his lips against the man's, realising how much he missed the feel of his flesh and his warmth. He pulls away smiling. "I'm sorry for not visiting" he murmurs into his ear, "but I will visit often now. Everyday if I can help it." He sighs, finally content after the longest time. "We love you so much… Just get better soon, Aeleus. We are waiting for you…"