A/N: Clare's going on a little vacation after this story. Durian and Lychee are a type of fruit.

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Clare's Special Recipe (Clare's lessons on how to get out of chores part 4)

Helen: Miria! Please! No!

Miria: Helen, don't whine. You're not a child.

Helen: But Miria (still whining) she almost poisoned us last time.

Yuma: Mine was moving.

Miria: Shut up! It's final! Clare is cooking dinner tonight!

Helen: If I make Deneve really mad… Then she would break my jaw… Then I won't have to eat tonight! I am a genius! Hehehe

Miria: Oh, and for those of you who are planning on getting injured so that you don't have to eat. Don't. She's making soup. (Tabitha: More like a soup-like substance.) I'll personally pour it down your throat.

Helen: ………………… I'm wanna cry.

Meanwhile in the designated cooking area

Clare: (singing) IIIIIIII'm lookin for my Raki in a tree. Is he there? No I don't think he can be. I'm looking for my Raki in a house. Is he there? No nothing but a mouse. I'm searchin far and wide for my Raki. Where oh where can he really be? I'm goin out huntin for Raki. I will look for an eternity. No one better hurt my Ra-aki. Kill kill kill….

Deneve: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

Miria: CLARE!!! I THOUGHT I BANNED THAT SONG BECAUSE IT WAS ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clare: …. Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh…….

Miria: THAT ONE IS BANNED TOO!!!!

Clare: Raki……

Miria: SO IS THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen: BAN THE NAME!!! PLEASE! I'M STARTING TO HAVE DREAMS WHERE EVERYONE IS NAMED RAKI!!!

Clare: FINE I'LL STOP SINGING! HELEN, YOU SHOULD REMEMBER WHOSE IS COOKING YOUR DINNER TONIGHT!

Helen: …….. SORRY, OH GREAT ONE! I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU IN ANYWAY! PLEASE DON'T POISON ME WITH YOUR ABYSMAL COOKING!!!

Clare: Close enough…. Maybe……..Anyway, back to cooking my special recipe. Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Now what else do I put in it? Hmmmm …. Snow, cayenne pepper, peanut butter, cheese, carrots, tree bark for texture, oat meal, durian, beets, noodles to disguise any potential worms, lychee, and mud for color. Hmmm…. I think that will do it. Now they will truly regret making me cook for them! (Insert insane Clare laugh of choice)

That night at dinner

Clare: Dinner time! This is my ultra super secret special recipe!

Yuma: I'm too afraid to look. What color is it?

Tabitha: Black.

Cynthia: It's lumpy too.

Deneve: More like congealed.

Yuma: But I thought it was supposed to be soup! How can soup be congealed!

Deneve: Good question.

Cynthia: It's giving an ominous black glow.

Helen: ………………

Yuma: I-I think it's moving……..

Tabitha: Is it still possible to eat what she made last time?

Helen: I AM NOT EATING THIS!!! IT'S TORTURE!!! NO WONDER SHE IMMEDIATELY DESERTED WHEN SHE WAS SEPERATED FROM THAT BRAT!!! SHE WAS TERRIFIED THAT SHE WOULD STARVE TO DEATH!!!

Through this whole conversation Clare had an evil smirk plastered across her face.

Miria: Clare…… Why don't you take the first bite? (A truly evil smile spreading across her face)

Clare: Oh, but I can't do that. The cook always eats last.

Miria: Really? I've never of heard that. Come on Clare, we're all friends. You can have the first taste.

Clare: Oh, but I could never do that. It would be too rude. Please, eat.

Miria: Oh no, no, no, that will never do. Please, no one here will mind.

Clare: ……. Oh no that's alright you don't have to worry about me. Please go ahead and eat.

Miria: I insist you eat first. Go on.

Clare: ………………………….

Miria: Is there something wrong?

Clare: Uh… No there's nothing wrong. (Starting to panic)

Miria: Then why don't you eat?

Clare: Ummm….. I...I… What I mean is…

Miria: Here you go.

Clare: …. (Now really panicking) Ummm… (Starts looking back and forth between the bowel and Miria) Uh…….ha…ha…………

Miria: Is there a problem? (Starting to revel in evil glee at her panic)

Clare: Uh…. No, no problem. (Her voice higher than normal)

Miria: Then why don't you take your bowel of delicious (Helen: Delicious? I'd rather eat a rotting corpse of a rabid yoma!) food?

Clare: …..Oh, sorry. Thank you.

Clare takes the bowel and looks at as if it contains impending doom. She gets a spoonful and as she moves it towards her mouth she starts having a flashback of all the ingredients. Then she completely panics and throws the bowel at Miria and takes off running. Miria, who had been expecting something, dodges and fortunately avoids being hit by the congealed black mess. Helen, who most unfortunately was standing behind Miria, takes the entire thing in her face.

Helen: AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T SEE!!!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deneve: (sigh) Helen, You're not blind. The goo is just covering your eyes. If you wash it off you'll be able to see again.

Helen: Oh….

Miria: CLARE!!! GET BACK HERE!!! YOU ALMOST HIT ME WITHTHAT GOO MASQURADING AS FOOD!!!!!

Clare: NO WAY!!! YOU'LL HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miria: SO WHAT!!! YOU DESERVE IT FOR PURPOSLY COOKING POISON!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?!!! I'M NOT STUPID!!!!

Clare: THAT'S A SURPRISE!!!!

Miria: OOOOHHHH!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO GONNA GET IT!!!! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SCREWING UP ON PURPOSE!!!!!

Clare almost gets to the bottom of the mountain before Miria catches up and pummels her. Miria drags Clare kicking and screaming back up to the cave and force feeds her the glowing black mess she cooked. Clare was sick for almost a week after eating her cooking. Miria made Clare cook dinner again, but this time she personally supervised it. Unfortunately, Clare's cooking really did suck even when she was trying and frighteningly resembled her two previous cooking experiences. Miria decided that it was in everyone's best interest if Clare never ever ever cooked again.