Hello world! I'm really trying my best with the updates! I know how annoying it could be to wait for things. I wish I could not do schoolwork and just focus on this lol life would be so much easier. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been patient with me and I hope you enjoy the chapter. By the way, the lullaby I mention in this chapter I based off of this song "To Zanarkand" really you all should listen to it. It's my favorite song and it's from my favorite game. It's so sweet yet sad. It kind of fits the situation everyone is in at the moment.

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera

Chapter 21

Dear Diary,

Things have taken an unsuspected turn for the worse. Nothing horrible has happened like Erik relapsing or hurting me. In fact, it's the complete opposite. He's being so nice to me and he looks genuinely happy all of the time. Well, I can't see his face but I can just tell by the way he holds himself now. His eyes always have a slight glow to them and he holds himself high but he has this relaxed disposition about himself now. He even initiated physical contact! It's like the invasion of the body snatchers up here and I like it. I guess I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself so, let's rewind back to my birthday.

I woke up that day feeling pretty happy. I didn't feel any older even though now I was considered an adult in the eyes of the world. Even though I was put in this abnormal situation, I was still sheltered. I didn't have to do anything on my own and I was just recently allowed to leave my room whenever I wanted to. An early birthday present from Erik, if you can really call it that. But, I was grateful none the less considering that meant Erik was starting to trust me more and more. In a few months he could possibly even let me leave!

Anyway, I woke up that morning and did the usual, except I decided to wear nicer clothes. My dad used to take me out to get pancakes on my birthday and he would want me looking my best. I guess that just stuck with me considering I found myself in a royal blue sweatshirt, a nice pair of jeans, and black boots. I looked at myself in the full length mirror and laughed.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go." I said to Sasha who was rubbing against my leg, begging for food. "Let's go Sasha. We don't have to wait for Erik to come and get us anymore." I said with a smile as I left the room with her by my side.

"Something smells really good." I said to myself as I went down the stairs. When I got into the kitchen, I saw what was making the heavenly scent. A nice stack of pancakes was sitting in front of my usual chair and I couldn't help but slightly skip to my seat. I quickly took a bite of one and a pleased noise came out of my throat.

"I take it that you like it." Erik said as he walked into the kitchen with Sasha's food bowl in hand. He placed it down near the table and she quickly made her way over to it as he sat across from me.

"These are so good." I said. "Seriously, if this mysterious musician millionaire thing doesn't work out for you, you should be a professional pancake maker."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You flatter me too much. I just recalled yesterday you mentioned you would go out with your father to get pancakes. Personally, I can't stomach them."

"That's because you don't like anything sweet." I said and took another bite. "But, thank you. It's nice that you remembered that. I'm surprised that you did."

"Of course I would." He said with a smile and started to eat the rest of my food. "After you're finished, I have something to give you."

I looked up at him with my mouth full. I quickly swallowed so I could talk. "What is it?"

"A surprise." Was all he said and I leaned forward slightly.

"Can I have a hint?" I asked him, my curiosity piqued.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I did." he said and I leaned back in my seat in defeat. "You'll get it when you're done."

I quickly ate the rest of my food and I heard him laugh when I quickly stood up with my plate in hand. "I'll take that." He said as he stood up.

"I got it. Just go get my surprise." I said as I made my way into the kitchen and quickly washed my dish. I smiled to myself as I put it back in the cupboard. I hadn't been that excited in a long time and it really felt great.

When I walked back into the dining room, Erik was there with both of his hands behind his back and I quickly made my way next to him.

"Is that my surprise?" I asked as I tried to look behind him but he just kept on moving around me.

"Yes it is." He said. "I wish I could have gotten you more but you really didn't give me much time."

"I bet whatever you got me is perfect." I said as I gave up and stood in front of him with my hands held out in front of me. "But can I please have it? The suspense is killing me."

"That would be unfortunate." He said jokingly and handed me a small white box. I quickly took the lid off and I felt my jaw drop.

"Erik…" I said quietly as I lifted the necklace out of the box. It had to been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The small heart pendant was the lightest shade of pink I had ever seen and small diamonds spread across the surface of it. The prettiest part of it all was a pearl in the middle of all the diamonds. Even the chain was gorgeous! It was small and silver, yet it looked really sturdy.

"Do you like it?" he asked and all I could do was nod. "I'm glad. It's been passed down in my family for generations. I realized it would look lovely on you but anything would."

I touched it lightly and I shook my head. "Oh Erik, it's so beautiful. But, I can't accept it. It's much too sentimental and well…expensive."

"Trust me darling, I never had strong bonds with my family, as you probably know. And as for money, it means nothing. I could have gotten you something far more expensive." He said and I couldn't resist putting it on any longer. The way it sparkled in the light was practically hypnotizing and I wasn't used to get nice presents like this. I clasped it around my neck and the pendent fell perfectly on my chest.

"How does it look?" I asked as I looked up at him and I met his gaze. He smiled down at me and I couldn't help but return it.

"Beautiful." He said quietly and I couldn't help but give him a quick hug.

"Thank you so much." I said as I leaned my head on his chest. "I'll take good care of it, I promise." I pulled back and touched the necklace. I really wanted to see how it looked on me and I was trying to figure out where the nearest mirror was when it hit me. I have never seen a single mirror in this house, except for my room anyway. How strange. I guess I could just look at it later, I thought to myself. "This is one of the best presents I had ever gotten."

"There's more." He said with a smile and I stared at him in disbelief.

"Erik, this is too much already." I told him but he cut me off.

"It truly isn't. Please, let me just do this. I rarely get to do nice things." He said I shook my head.

"You always do nice things for me." I said. Now that I think about it, it's kind of funny. I mean, this guy kidnapped me and I go ahead and tell him that he's been nice to me. Just sounds weird, doesn't it? But, this whole situation is weird. He has been nice to me and I've been enjoying my time here because of it.

"Well, I've come to enjoy doing them. But if it bothers you so much, I'll stop being so nice after today." He said sarcastically and with a small smile. "This present didn't cost any money, if that's what you're worried about. It just took up a good part of my time these last few days."

He really did know how to get me curious. "What is it?" I asked him.

"Come with me and I'll show you." He said and I saw his hand twitch slightly towards me and I smiled softly at him. He tended to do that when he wanted to hold my hand but then would decide against it. It was sweet in a sad way I guess. I grabbed his hand and the relief in his eyes was obvious. He lead me down to the music room and I felt the anticipation build up in me.

"I was working on a song for you Christine." He told me as we both sat down on the piano bench. "My head wasn't in the right place though, at the time, and I was never able to finish it."

The lullaby, I thought to myself and leaned closer to him. He was writing it the day I got him so angry when I said Raoul's name. I was so sad that he never got to finish that for me. What he had for it so far sounded amazing and the fact that it was dedicated to me could bring tears to my eyes. I probably should have asked if it was all right to take the unfinished song but I didn't think he was going to finish it.

"I remember. I took the sheet music of it. I didn't think you wanted to work on it anymore. I probably should have asked you if I could keep it. I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't worry about that. I have a knack for remembering things, as you've noticed. I wasn't sure if I was going to be capable to finish it. Music is a powerful thing that needs the right emotions behind it. I was in far too much pain to write anything worthy of you. But, now my head is clear and I finally was able to finish it." He said.

"Can I hear it?" I asked eagerly. He nodded and placed his hands over the keys for a moment before he started to play for me.

I was at a loss for words. What he was playing…nothing that I could say could give it justice. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder. I was in a whole other world now: Erik's world. His music always made me feel like this, like I was in a different place where I couldn't be hurt. And this song…it came from heaven. That's the only way I could describe it but even that wasn't good enough if you can believe that. I couldn't help but let the tears slip through my closed eyes while a small smile grew on my face. The song made me feel so many things that I didn't know a single song could do. It had such a gentle feel to it but there was a sad tone to it. Gentle and sad…just like Erik.

It ended far too soon for my liking and I didn't want to move or talk. I just wanted to think about that beautiful song that had just filled up the room. I rubbed my face slightly on his shoulder and gently lifted my head off of him but still staid close to him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked and I quickly wiped my eyes.

"How could you tell? You're not even looking at me." I said and he laughed gently.

"You were crying on my shoulder. It's rather wet now." He said and I blushed and looked up at him to see he was still staring at the piano.

"I'm sorry! I didn't realize." I said and he looked at me.

"Don't apologize. I should for making you cry on your birthday." He said and I shook my head.

"I wasn't crying because I was sad. The song was just so beautiful the only thing I could do was cry. That sounds kind of silly I guess." I said and laughed. "But, really thank you so much for it. The fact that you wrote that for me is…" I couldn't even think of any words to describe how I felt in that moment. I just know that I felt amazing.

"So, you're happy?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes." I said. "You don't have to constantly ask me that, you know. I've been happy here for a while now." I told him. "I thought you knew that."

"I know you tell me you're happy. I just suppose I have a hard time believing it." He said. "I'll get used to it eventually."

"We got plenty of time." I said without thinking. Why did I say that, I thought to myself. I don't want plenty of time here! I want to get out of here, I know that for sure. But, I do like it when Erik smiles like that…

"Did I do well today?" he asked me breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Very." I said with a smile. A sad thought crossed my mind and my smile fell.

"What is it?" he asked noticing my sudden mood change.

"Oh, it's nothing really. It's just that…well, this is my second birthday without my dad." I said and looked down. "I can't believe I didn't realize that until now. Some daughter I am."

"I would think he wouldn't want you to be upset on your birthday." Erik said and I nodded.

"I know, I know. It's just hard sometimes. When he first died, I wouldn't accept the fact that he was gone. Every time I woke up I would think he would be in the kitchen waiting for me with that big smile of his." I said. "And every time I would realize he was gone and I wouldn't be able to see his smile anymore."

"I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that kind of pain Christine." He said quietly and we sat there in silence for a moment. I bit my lip when an idea crossed my mind and I wasn't sure how Erik would react to it.

"Erik, I know you'll probably say no-"

"Then why ask?" he said but I kept going.

"You already did so much for me today and I appreciate it so much. I know I'll never forget this birthday. But, if you could let me see my dad's grave today, I'll be so happy. I couldn't do it the first year without him because it was still too fresh but now I think I can do it. And it's near where your other house is so it wouldn't be hard to find." I said and waited for him to say no to my request.

"…All right." He said finally. I looked up at him in shock.

"What?" I asked.

"I said all right. Now, close your mouth. That's not a flattering look for you." He said and I couldn't help but throw my arms around him.

"Thank you so much!" I exclaimed. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"We'll have to wait for it to get much darker out." He said as he gently touched one of my curls. "And we can't stay out for too long."

"I understand." I said and let go of him. The rest of the day was spent in anticipation for the outing. I was excited for so many reasons. One, I would be able to see my dad. Two, I would be able to actually go outside for the first time in months. And three, I could possibly escape. It felt like years before Erik said it was time for us to leave. It had to at least be 9:30 and the sun was already gone from the sky.

We were both next to the front door when Erik pulled a black cloth out of his pocket.

"What's that?" I asked him.

"You're blindfold." He said and I felt some of the heat drain from my face.

"B-blindfold?" I stuttered.

"It's just a precaution." He sighed. "You either wear it or we can't go out."

I sighed but nodded in defeat. He tied it tightly over my eyes and I really couldn't see a thing. I heard Erik punch the numbers in on the lock and he gently grabbed my hand and opened the door.

I let out a gasp as I felt the night air hit my face. I almost had forgotten what fresh air smelt like, let alone what it felt like. It was so much to take in at so little time. Erik rushed me to what I assumed was he car and I basked in this feeling I had been missing out on. I decided to wear a dark blue dress that went slightly below my knees and a light brown coat. I didn't expect it to be that chilly out but I liked the feeling of being cold. I hadn't felt it in a long time. And the sound of the outdoors! It was so beautiful. The sound of the leaves rustling and the crickets chirping was something I would never take for granted ever again.

I heard him open the car door and he guided me into my seat in the front. After a moment, he started the car and I felt him start to drive.

"I hope the blindfold isn't too uncomfortable." He said.

"It's not." I said. "I'm just glad you're letting me do this." Even though I would have preferred to be able to see my surroundings but beggars can't be choosers.

"Anything for the birthday girl." He said and I laughed.

"Thanks." I said and the rest of the drive was spent in silence until I eventually fell asleep. The drive took longer than I expected which helped me realize why no one has even been close to finding me yet. We must have been staying in the middle of nowhere.

I felt Erik shake me slightly and I quickly woke up.

"We're here." He said and undid the blindfold. I blinked a few times to try and clear my eyes. We both got out of the car and quickly made our way into the small cemetery. It was really dark out and I couldn't see much so I was lucky that I remembered that his grave was in the far back corner. When I got to the small cross that had his name on it, I knelt down next to it and I looked over my shoulder to see Erik was giving me some space.

"Hey dad." I said as I looked back at his gravestone. "I'm eighteen today! Can you believe that? It's weird to think I'm not your little girl anymore. Well, I guess I'll always be daddy's little girl no matter how old I get." I took a shaky breath and felt my eyes sting with tears. "I really miss you dad. I-I still can't believe you're gone. You were my best friend and you always knew how to make me feel better. It's hard sometimes and I feel like giving up without you here. Morbid things to say on my birthday, I know, but I can't help it. Life has been so strange and difficult." I lowered my voice so Erik couldn't hear me. "You probably already know the situation that I'm in. I hated it at first but now…" I shook my head. "I don't know anymore. It isn't fair. I want you back more than anything. I want my daddy to save me…but you can't. I know life gets harder as you get older but I'm not ready for this. I was never prepared for this…prepared for Erik. Dad, I don't hate him at all. I don't know what my feelings are for him exactly. I just need to get away before I do something I might regret."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I shouldn't talk about this right now. I wanted to talk about you. How's mom? I bet she's a lot happier now that you two are together. I wish I could remember her more than I do. Do I look a lot like her? Well, I'm glad you two are together again. I know how much you missed her…I really miss you guys." I said and felt the tears fall down my face. "It isn't fair. I shouldn't have to go throughout life with neither of my parents! Things are supposed to happen for a reason but what reason is good enough to leave a girl alone with no family?" I sobbed and wiped my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this. I can really go for a hug right now. I know you didn't like to see me cry. But I just wanted to see you on my birthday. I guess I should go before I become an even bigger mess." I said and slowly stood up. "I love you dad." I slowly walked my way over to Erik and I saw the concern in his eyes.

"Christine…" he said and I tried to smile. Then he did something he never really had done before. He pulled me into a tight embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and started to sob. "What can I do to make you stop crying?"

"Just hold me." I whispered through the tears and he did what I said. A strange feeling started to grow inside me that instant. I actually felt…safe. I knew then that I had to do something. Tomorrow I'm going to see if my plan worked.

Tomorrow I'm going to get out of here.