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"So, what do you think, Spencer?"

"About what?"

"About what I've been talking to you about for the better part of the morning."

Always agree, she had been taught by her brother and Ashley. "Oh, yeah, sure. That sounds good."

"A terrorist attack sounds good to you?"

"Sure." Spencer looked away from the price-tag of yet another acoustic guitar that looked like the one that had been destroyed a few days prior. "Wait, what? You were talking about the guy you like; I know because you've had hearts in your eyes for weeks now," Spencer said pointedly, giving Emily a teasing nudge. "I say go for it."

It was true: Emily was just teasing her. When Spencer had asked her to go shopping with her, she assumed it would be for clothes, not a musical instrument. As far as she knew, Spencer didn't play the guitar; however, she did know that it had been a long time since the blonde seemed in spirits that weren't rock bottom. It was a very welcome change of pace and she wasn't about to question the how or the why; she just accepted that she didn't have to tread on eggshells for now.

"So, you're taking up guitar?" No longer than the words left her mouth, Emily recalled seeing Ashley with a guitar on more than a few occasions. It seemed strange to entertain the idea of Spencer doing a little Christmas shopping for her when things were as unsettled as they were. That was unless they had reconciled without her knowing about it. "Or is that for someone else?"

"I'm just looking."

"Because you're interested in playing?"

"No, because I'm interested in looking," Spencer replied evasively. The truth was she felt terrible for being, in part, responsible for destroying Ashley's guitar. She knew how much it meant to her, and for it to be gone after so long didn't seem right.

Emily wasn't one to beat around the bush, at least not for very long. "Is it for Ashley?"

"I don't want to talk about it, but yeah, it's for her."

"You're at least considering buying Ashley a guitar and you still won't even say her name?" She looked away. "That's not weird..."

"Em, don't, okay? I want today to be about fun. Let's forget this," Spencer suggested, brightening up. "We can see if your crush is working today and make him wear a Santa hat. I know you have your camera."

They were on their way to the record store where Emily's crush worked when she decided to run to the restroom and check her appearance, even after Spencer assured her that she looked great.

Heading inside without her, Spencer browsed through various genres, picking up and Eagles CD. As she scanned the track-listing and saw 'Take It Easy', something caught her attention: no deciphering noise, not any physical sight, just one indecipherable feeling that caused Spencer to look up and see Ashley across the store. She was looking down, leaving the side of her face visible to Spencer, allowing her to look on freely, or as freely as she could while also trying to stay undetected to the brunette.

Spencer wasn't ready for another encounter with Ashley just yet.

In similar fashion, Spencer noticed Ashley's attention shift from what looked like the bargain bin to a woman standing with her son at the entrance to the store, and her expression harden, saw the tension in her body. It was strange to Spencer because Carol Dalton and her son were nice people, the kind both she and Ashley usually got along with. It was even stranger when Carol seemed to spot Ashley or feel the heat of her glare and become incredibly uncomfortable and anxious, to the point where she suggested to her son that they leave for another store.

Ashley watched them like a hawk, fighting to stay where she was and ignore the woman, stay away from her as her mother had asked several months ago. However, saying and doing were two very different things Ashley knew, especially when Carol was right there.

Spencer watched her drop the CD she was holding and dart across the store, getting halfway to the entrance when she hesitated and she slowed, clearly reconsidering her actions. It wasn't until Ashley remembered the way her mother had cried and the stupid way in which she treated Spencer that she resumed her journey, walking faster in order to catch up.

With brows furrowed, Spencer followed, hurrying through a crowd of Christmas bargain-hunters outside the store and when Ashley walked faster, Spencer increased her pace. She followed until Ashley wrapped her hand around Carol's wrist and pulled her around, eyes blazing.

"What, no small talk?"

"Ashley," Carol addressed smoothly, removing her arm from the brunette's grip. "What a surprise. It's been quite a while."

"But not nearly long enough." Ashley shrugged. "How you been? Had any accidents with peroxide lately?"

There was a brief smile to benefit her son. "It's good to see you, but we'd better be going. So much to do before Christmas; people to visit, gifts to buy."

"Legs to spread."

Warren, Carol's son, stepped forward. He was in the same class as Ashley and Spencer. "Hey, watch your mouth," he warned.

Spencer was having trouble hearing clearly and stepped away from her carefully disguised presence behind a group of adults who hadn't seen each other since their children were around waist-height, judging from the gestures.

"Well trained, I see," Ashley commented, looking back to Carol. "I wonder if he'd be so quick to jump to his mother's defence if my tongue gets a little loose."

"What's your problem, Ashley?" Warren asked.

"You don't want to know."

He'd seen her moods at school recently; unstable wasn't the word for it. "If you have something to say, why don't you go ahead and say it?"

"I have nothing to say to you, Warren. Your mom, on the other hand..."

"So say it."

Carol held her shopping bags tighter, turning away. "We don't have time for this, Warren. Let's go."

"I expected you to be chattier, Carol," Ashley mused aloud. "How inconsiderate of me. You must have so many splinters in your mouth from the amount of wood you've had in there."

"Warren," Carol warned when she sensed her son's impending anger. "Come on."

Ashley was tense. She had a thousand things she'd like to say to the woman but couldn't, she didn't want to hurt Warren.

When he was at Carol's side, she retreated with relief. "Give my best to your mother." It was something she'd said without thinking for years, only now Carol Dalton closed her eyes in mortification at what had left her mouth.

Ashley's hand was on her arm quickly, pushing her around to face her and effectively sending some of the bags to the floor. "What'd you say?"

"Back off, Ashley!" Warren demanded, not afraid to push her away from his mom. "What's wrong with you?"

"Her!" Their yelling had gained attention from passers-by but Ashley didn't notice, focused on Carol. "Do you think it was some joke, that you have the right to casually mention my mom? You're a bitch," Ashley stated. "And you have no idea the amount of times I've thought about kicking your ass and humiliating you at the same time." That's how her mother had felt; hurt and humiliated. She just wanted to return the favour. The way she wasn't giving any signs of remorse or any outward signs of uttering a verbal apology angered Ashley even further, cursing Warren's presence. "You're lucky you're not alone!" she stepped forward to say.

Spencer stepped out of the crowd of people as she saw Warren push Ashley away for the second time, this time more forcibly, and was three steps closer to her when she was grabbed from behind by Emily who had just found her.

"Leave it, Spence."

"No," the blonde refused through an attempt to free herself from her friend's hold.

Emily hadn't been in with a noisy group of people when the scene with Ashley and Carol began. She'd been on her way back from the restroom and close enough to hear every word, see every ounce of loathing in the brunette's eyes. It wasn't a struggle to put the pieces together when she'd seen the same puzzle before, only it had belonged to her. Emily hadn't spoken to her mother since the day she'd told her that she'd rather live on the streets than with her, and then used the most profane words to speak to her mother's new partner; their doctor.

Emily wanted Ashley to say what was on her mind, not be stopped.

"Not even an apology?" Ashley asked loudly in disbelief. "Really? Not one?"

"I'm sorry," Warren said, before his mother had chance to speak, anger fuelling his usually composed character. "Yeah, I'm really sorry you're a freak these days, Six Flags."

It was then that Spencer got free.

Ashley returned the hardened stare and forgot about everything but the anger and pain she'd carried for months. Then she retaliated.

"And I'm really sorry your mom's a cheating whore."

"Spencer, come on, let's just go."

They were spoken over each other, and Spencer heard the apology, just not the reasoning. She spun around to Emily with an annoyed glare, missing the way Warren turned to his mother in disbelief, an expression that developed into disgust when he saw the guilt in his mother's eyes.

Feeling surprisingly worse, Ashley gave Carol a look that didn't betray even a fraction of the revulsion she felt for her, and turned on her heel, fading into the crowd.

"What the hell was that?" Spencer asked aloud, as if an answer would follow.

Emily was surprised she didn't know, but didn't share the information. It wasn't hers to tell. She merely offered a shrug and watched as Spencer searched the crowd for Ashley. Spencer spotted her at the last second, quickly disappearing around a corner, and didn't offer an explanation to Emily before she took off running.

Tense and frustrated, Ashley's exit was one of fast-pace, dodging people who frequently stepped into her path or grazed her am. When she felt the light pressure of fingertips against her own, she pulled away, drawing her arm closer to herself as she slipped between a crowd.

Spencer didn't follow this time.

###

Ashley had told her mother about what happened with Carol as soon as she got home, expecting the disapproving tone of voice and annoyance she received. It went better than she thought it would but it still hurt, and it hadn't magically disappeared overnight. She'd woken up in no mood for nosy or annoying classmates.

It was the reason why she groaned after her fourth attempt to pass by a tall boy in the hallway whose irritating celebration dance was blocking her exit. She was going to be late.

"Out of the way, Baloo! Shake your bare necessities somewhere else; some of us are actually trying to get to class," she said as she shouldered past him, noticing looks from almost everyone she passed on her way to class.

"Is it true?"

Sitting down at a free desk, Ashley looked to the girl who had never spoken to her before. Ashley wasn't even sure of her first name. "Is what true?"

"The rumour that's spreading like wildfire."

"Ooh, another one. Yay." She shook her head. "God, do you guys have nothing better to do? Seriously, get a life."

"I'm not trying to be a bitch. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, everyone's calling Sheriff Pete's daughter a whore."

"What?" Ashley's heart began to beat faster.

"Your dad, Warren's mom. It's...it's kind of all over school."

Ashley's face fell noticeably. She felt a sickening sensation overwhelm her senses, denial close behind. It couldn't have gotten out. She'd spent so long trying to prevent it from happening. "You're crazy," she said, a forced smile tugging at her lips. "But points for originality to whoever started that one."

The girl, Ava, saw the change in Ashley and was sympathetic. Her voice remained soft as she said, "Warren started it. He's pissed and he doesn't care what everyone is saying about his mom."

And for Ashley, it felt like forever that she'd shouldered the burden of keeping that secret contained; all that effort amounting to waste with the simplicity and bluntness of one sentence uttered in retaliation. It was over, whichever way she looked at it.

The class was filling up and she wasn't paranoid when she saw everyone looking at her differently. They knew, all of them.

###

Emily rushed into class several minutes late and was excused by her teacher, Mr. Riley when she offered him a sincere apology. She hurried toward the back of the class where Spencer was sat, focused on some notes she'd already began to take; ever the dutiful student.

Emily sat down at the empty desk beside the blonde's and pulled her notebook out of her bag. She cleared her throat to gain Spencer's attention, quickly growing impatient when it wasn't given. Next, she kicked her bag across to Spencer's foot. Nothing. She whispered her name. Was she ignoring her on purpose?

As Mr. Riley began discussing what he would be covering in the lesson, Emily looked around the classroom and saw several people talking amongst themselves. They were talking about Ashley and Warren.

"Spencer," Emily hissed impatiently.

"Emily," Mr. Riley said, turning the focus to her. "What is it that you need Miss Carlin for? Can't it wait till after my class you were late for?"

The redhead looked beside her and she rolled her eyes at Spencer's expectant gaze. "Now your ears decide to work?"

"What?" With her friend's dismissive shake of the head and her teacher back to sprouting quotes and information needed for the assignment, Spencer went back to her notes. It was only when she heard Ashley and Warren's names mentioned that she lost focus on her work. She looked up and saw the group responsible for gossiping, sitting in a pack of six, as always. There were three on one aisle, three on the other.

Spencer frowned, leaning forward in her seat to look at them. She heard Emily call her name and gave her a brief glance, asking Emily to give her a second.

The group consisted of four girls and two boys; all of them picking apart the inn's and outs of Ashley and Warren's life, what happened, why, how long it had been going on. They all looked over at Spencer when one of the girls asked how a best friend could leave when she was needed the most.

Spencer quirked a brow at them. They were talking about Ashley and were looking at her like she was something they'd stepped in. "What?" she asked, quite loudly considering she was on the other side of the room.

Emily leaned over and put her hand on Spencer's arm. "Spencer, forget it. Tell Riley you need to use the bathroom. We have to talk, it's important." She needed to tell Spencer to find Ashley.

"Do you have something to say?" Spencer asked the group of students who were still staring over at her. Her question gained the attention of everyone in the room.

"Please, continue," Mr. Riley granted with an accompanied sigh. "I'm sure it's much more important than my lesson."

"We just think you're kind of a bitch," one of the girls said with a shrug.

"Why? What does that have to do with Ashley and Warren?" Spencer asked, noticing almost everyone in her class turn to their friends, surprised.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Spencer, seriously, shut up," Emily said. "You need to use the bathroom, remember?" she prompted. "You're about to pee yourself, in fact."

The same girl spoke for her group again, "That Ashley's dad was banging Warren's mom."

Spencer laughed. "Right."

"Why would I make it up?"

She faltered for a second, smile fading. She shrugged. "I don't know, but you're lying. There's no way Ashley's dad would do that."

Across the room, Ramona rolled her eyes. "Wake up and smell the infidelity, Spencer."

Spencer sent a short glare in Ramona's direction, and then turned back to the group. "You're lying," she repeated. "No, he wouldn't. I know him." Her heart beat faster inside her chest, working overtime like she was running.

"Warren's been telling his sob story to anyone who will listen," Ramona said, her voice becoming, for a split second, uncharacteristically gentle. She glanced at Emily and even her eyes seemed softer. She shrugged. "It's true."

One look to Emily confirmed it for Spencer, made her think back to the anguish on Ashley's face at the mall when she'd confronted Carol. It was all so obvious now.

She was out of her seat instantly, hearing Emily tell her of Ashley's whereabouts the last time she'd seen her —which was right before she'd ran into class late, and was stopped when she reached the front row. Mr. Riley blocked her path.

"Go back to your desk, Spencer."

She continued her journey to the door, shouldering past him. "No."

Mr. Riley placed a gentle hand on her arm from behind. "This is my class. I said sit down."

In a burst of atypical anger mixed with determination, Spencer pulled away from him. "I said no," she repeated with resolve. This time no-one would keep her away.

Once in the corridor, Spencer began to run.

###

Ashley couldn't reach her parents, no matter how many times she called. She'd tried each of them over half a dozen times in the past ten minutes, her frustration growing with each unanswered call. She put her phone back inside her coat pocket and ran her fingers through her hair, fighting against everything to keep her composure.

Through a string of silent expletives cursing the fact that Spencer could know by now, tears of regret formed in her eyes. She slowed down, walking at a normal pace. It was a welcome relief to her burning calves. Eventually, Ashley stopped walking and came to a stop in the middle of a quiet residential road, almost trying to absorb the stillness and tranquillity it offered.

Everything was so loud inside her head; had been that way for months.

Through the thunderous roar of confusion and panic, a voice broke through it, delicate enough to be but a whisper. She turned around and saw Spencer standing less than ten feet away, out of breath like she hadn't been able to wait to see her. Unmoving from her place in the road, Ashley remained in the same spot, staring into blue eyes as they got closer. There were noticeable signs of distress on the blonde's face and Ashley felt her body stiffen, physically preparing for whatever it was that Spencer was about to say.

But Spencer didn't say anything.

Standing in front of Ashley, Spencer looked at her — truly looked at her, and then stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Ashley's neck in one fluid motion.

The brunette's reaction wasn't instant by any means. Stunned into immobility, she stood with her arms hung by her side, unsure if she was allowed to reciprocate. It didn't last very long. Ashley didn't care too much for consequence anymore. What else could happen? How could things get worse?

How could she not wrap her arms around Spencer's waist in return and close her eyes?

"You do know it's not Christmas, don't you?" Ashley asked after a prolonged silence, after she'd revelled in the comfort offered to her.

"I'm sorry." Spencer's apology was quiet; pained as she held Ashley's body tighter against her own.

Light heartedness aside, Ashley knew it was over —truly over. Spencer knew everything. And for the second time that day she felt a crushing weight, though now, with Spencer, it was being lifted.

For the first time in months, she could finally stop."You don't have to be sorry, not for anything."

Spencer pulled away, her hands lingering on small shoulders for a second longer than they would with anyone else. "But I am." She watched Ashley nod, silently accepting, and heard her break it with accompanying thanks. "Where are we going?"

Ashley shook her head. "Ah, well, home would be good... great, even. But I forgot my keys this morning."

"So use mine."

###

They'd been two blocks away from home, so Ashley didn't have time to worry over what kind of silence they were walking in. She was too busy wondering how to begin a conversation, if she should make small-talk or launch right into an explanation. Maybe she could do both simultaneously.

When Spencer unlocked the front door and stepped inside for the spare key to Ashley's house, she held it in her hand and hesitated. She looked to the brunette standing at her doorway. "Do you wanna come in? Glen's going to be with his girlfriend until curfew and my mom and dad are working late." Spencer twirled the key between her fingers. "I mean, unless you're not going to be avoiding...certain people in your house when they get home from work? It gives us hours. To talk," she added. "About... the weather."

"The weather has been shit," Ashley commented wryly, closing the door behind her. "Don't you think?"

"No argument here." The key was put back in its place. "You still think Mother Nature is a bitch?"

"When did I say that?"

"A while ago."

"Yeah, she's still a bitch." Ashley left her bag by the door and followed Spencer to the kitchen, taking the bottle of water that was offered. "But I can think of a couple others who out-rank her."

Once they were settled at opposite ends of the sofa, Spencer idly played with the lid of her water bottle and watched Ashley get caught up in her thoughts. "You look different."

A slow smile spread over the brunette's face. It looked very forced to Spencer, and soon it fell away with no trace of it ever being there. Ashley looked at her and noted the difference immediately. She'd looked different for months but this wasn't the same, it was a distinct difference.

"You look different too."

"I thought this would have happened differently."

"What?"

"Being here with you, us talking..."

"Were we screaming at each other?" Ashley teased. "You threatening Easter while sat around an uncarved turkey, and me, always eloquent, yelling words like 'screw' and 'you' and 'why not make it summer vacation?'"

Spencer smiled. "Something like that."

"But instead, this is where I try to explain everything rationally. If that's all right with you."

"If you want to. We don't have to talk about it yet if you're not ready."

"You don't have to be nice to me."

"Thank God," Spencer obliged. "Because you're the only person to blame for all of this. I mean, forcing them together? How could you?"

"I'm a disgrace."

"Despicable."

"It is sort of my fault," Ashley admitted, becoming serious once more. "I told Warren at the weekend. I saw him with her at the mall and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. My parents are going to be so pissed off when they know the entire town is talking about them."

"It's not your responsibility to clean up your dad's mess," Spencer argued. "How long was it going on?"

"Months. He finished it at the end of summer, which is when I found out. It was a few hours before we talked in the woods. It messed me up a lot, and I did a lot of stuff that I regret. Mostly concerning you." She sighed softly. "I wanted to be the one to tell you about my dad. I hate that you found out by someone else, but I guess that's my fault too. I didn't want to make things worse, so I was waiting until Christmas."

"I don't understand why you didn't let me help you with all of this. Didn't you trust me?"

"No, I did. I do. I just couldn't... It was easier alone, and I know how selfish that makes me sound but it's the truth," Ashley said frankly. "Other than yours, my parents seemed like the last solid couple that were still together, you know? And every few months another couple would cheat or divorce, hurt each other, and I was done with it."

Spencer swallowed some water. "And me."

"I was never 'done' with you. As twisted as it came out that day, right then, I did mean that part. I wanted us to be friends." She spotted the look in Spencer's eyes and relented slightly. "I didn't want to lose you. I needed you in my life but I didn't want either of us to hurt each other the way people do in a relationship. I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't counting on you acting like a person with feelings," Ashley confessed. "I didn't think about it at all. So when you said you didn't want to be friends and I felt broken all over again, I wanted to hurt you back. But I didn't think I wouldn't be able to take it back at some point, and act like nothing happened. I didn't think about how you'd hate me and how everything would change forever."

"You were in shock," Spencer asserted, rather than excused.

"Yeah."

"And the rest of the week? What was that?"

"That was me doing everything I could to avoid dealing with anything that hurt. I was selfish and I hurt you, and for that, I don't have an excuse." Ashley looked into blue eyes as she spoke. "But I can try to make it up to you."

"You were crying on the porch a few days ago," Spencer reminded her. "Your dad was beside you."

Ashley nodded and played with the label of her water bottle. "I'm trying to forgive him and let him try to explain what the hell was going on in his head for him to have had an affair. I'll never understand or forget, but, I don't know, he's been back to normal for a while, trying to make up for it, and I put myself in his position. Turns out, it wasn't so far from mine."

"You didn't cheat on me; we're not married and we don't have a teenage daughter. Call me crazy, but I'd say your position is on the other side of the world."

"I still left. I walked away. Are you really excusing that because you know about my dad? Don't, okay? It's not an excuse."

"I'm not excusing how you treated me," Spencer asserted. "But let's not kid ourselves here, either. In the grand scheme of things, a husband cheating on his wife of almost twenty years, breaking her heart and their daughter's, isn't as bad as walking away from... well, walking away from me. We're kids, as much as I hate to say it. And I'm not using our age to degrade what we had. I know it was different compared to a lot of the couples at school. It felt different."

Ashley nodded softly. "Right, or walking away is still walking away, where it doesn't matter if it's cheating or leaving, it's the same thing. Circumstances. Throw twenty years on to me and say I go through some stupid mid-life crisis that I don't understand yet, say you and I are fighting constantly and no matter how hard you try to talk to me, I can't hear you because, hey, mid-life crisis is kinda loud and it's turning me into a jack hole. So I cheat; I leave, walk away, whatever you want to call it. Is it the same then?"

"No," the blonde disagreed, "because I know you wouldn't do that."

"The night before I walked away, would you have said I'd break up with you within twenty-four hours?" Ashley countered gently. "Did you see it at all?"

"Are you really trying to make me think you're as big of a monster as you saw your dad?" Spencer asked. "Because, really, after the way you left this house last month and how you've been acting since, I would've guessed otherwise."

Ashley shook her head. "Did it help, being away from me?" She wondered if it would help her and Raife's relationship.

"How did you find out about your dad?" Spencer dodged.

There was no point in lying at this point. "Uh, a neighbour told me."

"Who?" Spencer read the look Ashley was giving her, and her inquisitiveness turned to shock. "You're kidding. Mr. Foster?"

The brunette shrugged.

"All the times you told me to stay away from him..."

"It's not like I went over there for brunch. I saw him staring over here that morning, I couldn't ignore it."

"You promised you wouldn't say anything to him," Spencer sighed.

"Unless I thought it was important, and it was." Ashley watched her frown, averting her eyes. "It was my choice, okay, and I would have found out eventually. He did tell me before, when you threw that ball at his car. That's what he said to me; that he was cheating. Too bad he didn't specify which 'he' he meant." She saw Spencer shaking her head. "What?"

"I'm processing." She shrugged. "I don't know what to say. I mean, I—"

"You don't have to say anything else. It's not new to me. I've...adjusted and accepted it, and I'm starting to move on from all of that. Today at school, yeah, it threw me a lot. I can't stand the thought of this town talking about us, but there's nothing anyone can do about it now. It's done."

Spencer chewed the inside of her cheek. She thought Ashley sounded too rational, and couldn't imagine her acting the same way the next time they were at school and someone brought it up. Part of her also thought Ashley would be angry with her for the way she'd acted the last time she'd spoken to her. Or yelled, would be more accurate. But it was like it never happened.

"The Ashley I know would be freaking out about that."

"Something more important came up."

"It's too bad you didn't think that way during summer."

Ashley looked at Spencer intently. "You have to know that I never meant for any of this. I would do anything to take it back. Anything."

"I know," Spencer relented. "But you can't, just like I'm sure your dad's asked you to forgive him. You want to, and you're trying so hard but there's that last little part inside of you that stops you and no matter how hard you try, something won't let you."

Her words settled heavily inside Ashley's chest but she had anticipated this reaction from Spencer, only later in the month. "So, what happens now? Do you still want to wait until Christmas to talk again?"

"Well," the blonde responded leisurely, "I think that would be counterproductive to our attempt at friendship, but hey, if you'd rather—"

"No!" Ashley blurted out. "No, I would really love that; to try to be friends again." She was smiling, ignorant of anything other than Spencer and the fact she wanted her back in her life. "Are you sure about this? I mean, after everything..."

"I want to try." Spencer remained honest. She hadn't truly forgiven Ashley yet, but she wanted to. "I want us to be...something."

"Me too."

"It's not a guarantee that it'll be easy, or if it will even happen."

Ashley nodded. She understood they had a long way to go. Ever since she could remember, she'd touched Spencer more than any of her other friends, wanted to spend more time with her, held her hand, held her in bed. Since they'd had sex between then and now, Ashley very much doubted that a seamless transition to platonic friends would take place.

"But we can try."

And they would, so hard.