Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Authors Notes: Hi, all, sorry about the missing week. Just wanted to keep you all on the edge of your seat as to what's happening with Al and this new revelation that his best friend has the hots for him. heh. And there might be the evil cliffie at the end of this chapter...

enjoy

jamie

xxxx

Chapter 21.

Al really needed to speak to his dad. It was too bad that it was the middle of term and he couldn't just nip down to his dad's study and sit with him and talk. For so many years, for as long as he could remember, really, he'd loved sitting in the quiet room with his dad. It felt good to have his solid presence beside him. Even if neither of them said anything the whole time he was in there. It was enough just to be there whenever anything overwhelmed him.

Sometimes his dad even let him fall asleep on the old squishy couch he kept in there, Mum had tried so many times to throw it away, but dad refused to let her, saying that it gave the room character. Al agreed when he discovered what character meant.

Over the years it had survived everything three boisterous children dished out and Al felt it was as much a part of the reason he felt so safe in that room as his dad was. He remembered the first time he'd fallen asleep on the couch. He'd had an argument with James, but not just any argument, it was an all out battle that ended with Al punching James in the eye.

To keep them apart his dad had taken him into the study and James had been left to the care of mum. He'd expected his dad to yell at him or get angry, but all he'd done was to tuck Al up in a blanket on the couch, give him a warm chocolate drink and let him be. Al had felt awful, but he'd drunk the chocolate as he sat there looking out of the window at the grey clouds that scudded across the sky. He must have been all of four years old and dropped off to sleep without realising it.

The next morning the winter's first snow lay soft and clean on the window sill and Al had all but forgotten the fight, as is the way of childhood. It was a fresh, new day, fresh as that snow. His dad never mentioned it again and neither had Al.

What he wouldn't give for some of his dad's advice now. He'd tried to get his head around what Lily had told him but it just didn't make sense. Scorpius was his best friend and surely he'd have noticed this before now should it be true. Lily must have her wires crossed, surely, been misreading things.

What would his father say? Perhaps if he could close his eyes and imagine himself in his dad's study, he'd also be able to work out what advice he'd give. Which was silly really, because Al had no idea how to even start explaining things.

The first thing he'd probably ask his dad would be if there was anything wrong with liking a boy like that. When Al concentrated, he could clearly hear his dad laughing in response. Of course not, Al. Whatever gave you that idea? It didn't help Al, because he didn't know if he liked Scorpius like that. And he still wasn't at all sure that Lily was right.

What if she was? He pictured Scorpius' face; his blond hair falling over his eyes as it did so often when his head was bent over a book and he was studying hard. He saw Scorpius' pale hand reaching absentmindedly to push the errant locks of hair behind his ears, only to fall forward again soon after. Well, he liked how Scorpius looked, but he wasn't sure he thought Scorpius was, like, sexy or anything. Not like Peri with her huge brown eyes that made him melt when he looked at her. Scorpius' eyes were grey and they went all dark when he was upset about something and they sparkled when he was happy.

Al caught his breath.

And the kiss hadn't been bad at all.

He groaned silently; this wasn't getting him anywhere and the Slytherin common room at 8pm was hardly the place to try and do some deep thinking. In a way he wished that Scorpius was here, so he could at least look at his friend straight in the eye and then he'd know. He knew Scorpius well enough to know when he was lying.

And suddenly, an incident from fourth year came back to him. The dance…that damned dance when Scorpius had acted all funny and they'd barely spoken for weeks and practically nothing over the holidays. He'd known things hadn't been right then and Scorpius had asked him to trust him.

Fourth year?

Al's heart jumped. Had it been that long? It kind of confirmed that what Lily said had been the truth. Al wasn't stupid, despite all outward appearances.

He felt rather humbled in the light of this revelation. Assuming it was correct, and he was fairly sure that he was right.

Scorpius was his best friend, the best friend anyone could ever have hoped for and now he knew why. He had a choice now. Could he and Scorpius be more than best friends and if they couldn't, then could he save their friendship? This was a massive thing to be between them.

And he didn't think he could bear to see the hurt in Scorpius' eyes should he say no.

But he still had no idea what to do. He thought of writing, but then, none of this could be dealt with in a letter. He'd have to wait until Scorpius returned to school.

.o0o.

Three weeks later he got his wish and was waylaid by Lily on the way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"He's back. Remember what I said. Don't you dare hurt him."

"How could I, Lil? He's my best friend and I l—" He stopped as he'd been planning to say "love him like a brother" but he wasn't sure that was the truth. Not all of it.

"What?" she asked, smiling smugly at him as if she knew what Al had been about to say.

"Nothing." Al shook his head and walked into the Great Hall, looking for and spotting his friend's blond head already at the Ravenclaw table.

Al froze, looking at Scorpius across the room. Scorpius had obviously been looking for him, too because their eyes locked and Al could see a desperate question in them. One that asked about friendship and love and also begged, 'please don't hate me, leave me, ignore me.'