With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Broken — XXI

"Aren't you supposed to be attached to the purple-haired vixen?"

Kakashi started as Asuma's face appeared in his full view. The silver-haired teen had been kicked back in the study hall, staring out the window, thinking very hard about the very same girl Asuma was inquiring about.

"Well I would be, but your girlfriend seems to have kidnapped her. Kurenai scares me enough that I won't try to follow them around."

Asuma laughed, not even bothering to comment on the girlfriend thing. "You're such a wuss."

"Ahuh. When was the last time you said no to Kurenai?" Asuma stopped laughing at once. Kakashi smirked as he watched his friend's face darken.

"So what are you doing down here anyway?" The boy quickly changed the topic, hopping up onto the table Kakashi had been sitting at. "Obviously you're not doing homework."

"You know, just thinking."

"About Anko?"

There was no point in lying. "Yeah."

Asuma was quiet for a moment. "Ya know," he said thoughtfully after a few moments, "Kurenai and I witnessed something very…interesting about two days ago. We were hanging out downtown…"

Kakashi groaned. Anko had told them about the audience they'd had for that scene. "Thank you for reminding me I have to kill you."

Asuma grinned sheepishly. "Hey, hey, Kurenai made me do it."

"Don't you know how to say no?"

"Like you said man, she's scary. I'm not crossing her if I can help it." Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"And you call me a wuss?"

"Not the point." Asuma pressed on quickly. "Is that what you were thinking about just now?"

Again, Kakashi saw no point in lying. "Sort of. I dunno. Everything gets…confusing when it comes to Anko. It was easy when it was Rin and Obito, I always knew what to make of the two of them. Anko though…"

"Welcome to life. It's always easy when it's just your friends."

Kakashi sighed. He'd long ago established that he harbored more than friendly feelings for Mitirashi Anko. Hell, he'd even admitted to himself that he loved her. But that was always during a crisis, when she needed someone to love her, to protect her — a job Kakashi had gladly taken. But things were quiet again, no sword hanging over Anko's head, no constant threat — no more than usual, anyway.

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Not really, no."

Asuma cursed vehemently. "Jackass."

"And proud of it."

"How about this, it's cute!"

Anko just stared. "Kurenai do you know me?"

The raven-haired girl sighed, looking down at the frilly pink sweater. "C'mon, I think it's adorable. Let's see—"

She started to hold it up to Anko, who took a step backwards. "I know where you sleep Yuuhi. If you know what's good for you you'll stay away from me with that."

Kurenai shook her head, putting the sweater back on the rack. "You're impossible Anko. How am I supposed to work with you?"

"I don't recall asking for you to help, you know."

"Wouldn't any sane person want my help?"

"Define sane!" Anko protested as Kurenai grabbed her and started dragging her through the store again. That Saturday had not gone the way she wanted it to. All she had wanted was to stay home, read a book, hang out with Kakashi, the usual. But Kurenai had ambushed her that morning and dragged her out for the day. Anko had kept up a furious string of complaints, knowing they wouldn't do her any good. Kurenai could be so stubborn sometimes…

"Why are we doing this again?"

Kurenai rolled her eyes and proceeded to explain. "Because," she said in a voice implying that she was just stating the obvious, "I needed an excuse to get you out of Konoha — and more importantly away from Kakashi — so we could talk."

"Since when does it matter who's around when we talk?"

"Because I'm about to delve into your personal life. You don't want me advertising it around, do you? You know Konoha's just a gossip hall—"

"And you're its ring-leader. Why the hell would I talk to you about anything?"

"Do you really want me to break out the 'friends' speech again?" Anko cursed silently. That was one step short of blackmail. "That's what I thought. C'mon, let's pay for our stuff and get some lunch."

Anko sulked by the exit while Kurenai went to the check-out counter. The raven-haired girl was so evil. But Anko couldn't refuse her either. She was scary when she was mad…

Once they'd found a place to eat and ordered, Kurenai, who was sitting across from Anko, leaned over the table and said, "So, about Kakashi…"

Anko sighed. "Kurenai anything that's said here today could be used against me later in life. Therefore the second we're done talking, I will have to kill you. Promise not to hold me responsible?"

"That'll only work if you get it in writing. Besides, I'm not here to get information. I'm here to help you figure this crazy relationship out."

"You die either way, so no skin off me."

Kurenai just rolled her eyes. "You're so dramatic. C'mon, I'm serious. You said before you didn't really know what you and he were — I'm going to help with that." Anko sighed and dropped her head onto the table. "Quit being a baby Anko. So. You like spending time with Kakashi, right?"

"Yeah." Anko muttered. "But that doesn't mean anything, I like spending time with you too — or I did until today, at any rate."

"If you had to choose between spending time with me, or spending time with Kakashi, who would you choose? And you can be honest, I can take it."

The question is will I live through the night if I answer wrong? "Kakashi." Kurenai made a knowing noise in the back of her throat. "But only because he doesn't drill me on my personal life — which is sure to be no longer personal after this."

Kurenai ignored that, moving on. "Do you remember anything from your bout with amnesia — at all?"

Anko picked her head up off the table, looking into Kurenai's crimson eyes. "Kind of. A little. It feels like a dream, but I can kind of remember small bits and pieces…"

"Do most of them revolve around Kakashi?"

Anko nodded slowly. But of course, that was because Kakashi hadn't left her side the entire time. There was no connection there. "You trusted him, didn't you?"

"Explicitly." She could say that confidently. Even from what little she could remember of that time, she knew for a fact that she had completely trusted Kakashi. She closed her eyes, pulling back what she could clearly remember from that time — waking up in the hospital and seeing Kakashi sitting right next to her bed, waiting. For her. And she remembered something else now as well — remembered how, even as she'd laid there, confused and weary, how seeing him had almost made her feel…whole.

"Hey, earth to Anko!" Kurenai snapped her fingers in front of Anko's face, pulling the girl back to reality. "You still with me?"

"Y-Yeah." Anko stuttered, shaking her head. "Just fine. Sorry about that."

Kurenai leaned back in her seat, pursing her lips together. "If you don't want to talk anymore, we don't have to…I know you don't like talking about yourself that much."

Anko made a face. "I don't know…actually, I kind of do want to talk about it now." She shook her head again. "I don't know…I'm confused."

Kurenai smiled despite herself. "You're so serious all the time. How old are you again?"

Anko realized with a jolt that she'd completely missed her last birthday. "Damn. Thirteen."

"Just figured out that you forgot your own birthday?" Anko nodded. Kurenai laughed. "It happens, especially around Konoha. Everyone's birthdays start to run together, you even lose your own in the mix."

Anko made a face, sipping her drink. It took everything in her to ask what was on her mind. "…Kurenai?"

"What's up?"

She took a deep breath. Now or never…

"How old do you have to be…to be in love?"

"Why do I feel like you're avoiding me?"

Anko jumped a mile; the framed picture almost slipped out of her hands. She caught it at the last second and bolted up, putting on a glare to give Kakashi. "Don't do that. Jesus, scared the hell out of me."

"Didn't know you were so jumpy." Kakashi walked into the room and sat down next to Anko on the bed, taking the picture from her. It was the one from the day at the river, with the two of them, Rin, and Obito. "I've been thinking about them a lot lately too." He admitted, setting the picture back on the bedside table. "It still bothers me that no one knows what happened to Rin…"

Anko looked away, closing her eyes. Was Rin's disappearance her fault as well? Did she have more innocent blood on her hands? "But back to my early question. Are you avoiding me?"

Anko had to admit, she kind of was. Ever since the day out with Kurenai (almost a week earlier). Coming to the realization that she did, in fact, love Kakashi had been a big step. And now she was terrified.

"I'm not. You're imagining things."

"Sure I am." Kakashi rolled his eyes and stood up, looking out the window. "Come on Anko, I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were."

"I can tell when you're avoiding me. And I can definitely tell when something's bothering you. Now, usually I wait and let you come to me with your problems. But I'm beginning to think that's not such a good idea. So start talking."

Anko sighed. Damn, perceptive, silver-haired freak…

"It's…nothing bad." She said after a minute. "Just…confusing."

Kakashi waited. "It's…it's hard. I mean…" How was she supposed to explain this without admitting the truth? "I don't…I'm not…good at trusting people. Until I came here, I didn't know I was capable of it. But Rin…and Obito…and you…I trusted the three of you, more than I've ever trusted anyone before. But it's hard…it's hard letting yourself open up after keeping secrets for so long. At points though, it was harder to keep them…because I trusted you, and I felt like I could tell you. It felt like…like I was choking on them. It was the worst feeling in the world."

Kakashi was silent for a moment. Finally he said, in a slow voice, "Why do I get the feeling you're not just talking about trust here?"

Damn! "I'm not." She admitted. "Not entirely. I'm talking about…about giving yourself to someone…about how it's the same as giving them permission to break you…but at the same time, trusting that they won't."

Kakashi had heard a saying that was along those lines. Love is the same as giving someone permission to break you, and trusting that they won't. Was that what Anko was talking about then? Love?

Kakashi looked at Anko, took in her slim frame, her drawn, tired eyes, her pale skin, and realized that there was no way in hell she could be anymore thoroughly broken then she already was. What was left to entrust to anyone?

He sat down next to her again, resting a hand on her knee. "I hear you, you know. Or I hear something. You're trying to tell me something Anko, I get that. I just don't know what."

She looked at her knees, folding her hands tightly. Kakashi made a face, a deal coming to mind. "How about this? I tell you a secret, you tell me one."

Anko raised an eyebrow at him. "Depends. How big is your secret?"

He smiled as he raised a hand up to his mask, pulling it down slowly. "Not really telling so much as showing…but you know what I mean."

Anko's eyes widened. Damn he was handsome. Why'd he bother with the mask? Kakashi laughed. "You look surprised. What, did you think I wore this because I was unbearably ugly?"

Anko could barely think now. But she managed to wrap her mind around one important thought. He trusted her, trusted her enough to give her the secret that had died with Rin and Obito, the only two who had ever seen Kakashi's face. He trusted Anko. She could trust him, couldn't she?

And it was with that thought that she realized she was handing over the last thing she had to give — the thing that, she realized, already belonged to Kakashi, even with her fighting against it. In one swift movement she moved in and kissed him.

Kakashi certainly had no complaints. He didn't pull away, didn't try to stop her. He wrapped one arm around her, drawing her closer. In a matter of seconds they were both so completely intertwined that they barely counted as two people.

But eventually they did need to breathe. They broke apart, each trying to regain their breath. And Anko, staring resolutely at Kakashi's chest, surrendered her heart at last.

"I love you."

Author's Note: See? Happy cliffy! I can do fluff! /is shot/ Aw damn, that's gonna leave mark. Review please? — Sam