Cooper laid there on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he picked at the sleeves on his jacket. It was over a hundred degrees outside, he had no business even wearing one of those but he had to. He had to hide the cuts he had been making on his arms. If James saw them he would freak big time. Sure he had been keeping himself nice and locked up in his room but it was really only a matter of time before James came bursting in again, telling him he need to eat or something. He couldn't' even remember the last time he ate. He couldn't bring himself to do it unless physically made to, and even then he only did it kicking and screaming.

"You know, we should probably get up sometime soon," Joie said as he and Cooper laid in bed together. Joie had his head resting on Cooper's chest while Cooper had his arms tightly coiled Joie's body. It was nearly two in the afternoon but besides one quick trip to the bathroom after first waking up they hadn't left the bed at all. Joie had said they should but they hadn't done it yet.

"Why?" Cooper nuzzled his face against Joie's hair. "We're so comfy here."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"…No." Just as he said that his stomach started to growl loudly.

Joie giggled and looked up at Cooper with a big smile on his face. "Me thinks you're lying."

"You do?" Cooper smirked as Joie nodded. "Nah. I never lie. I just improve the truth a little sometimes, that's all."

Cooper groaned and smacked himself upside the head even though he knew it wouldn't do much good. He couldn't control these flashbacks. Everywhere he looked there were reminders of Joie. He couldn't escape them and as miserable as they made him, he couldn't bear to get rid of them. Doing that meant accepting he was really gone and he couldn't do that. He couldn't let Joie go. There was no life without Joie. No life at fucking all.

"WAAAHHH!" Joie screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran from Connor, who was chasing him with the hose. James's attempt at washing his car had turned into an excuse to have a water fight. "Connor! That's COLD!"

"No it's not!" Connor lied. "It's warm Joie! It's really warm! Now make friends with Mr. Hose!"

"NO!" Joie started running even faster, shrieking when Connor caught up to him and sprayed him really good with the hose anyway. "Cooper! Cooper help me!"

"I'm a little busy at the moment!" Cooper replied. He was being chased by James, who was looking to dump the bucket of water he was holding right on top of Cooper's head. Cooper had unfortunately thrown all the water balloons he had gotten in the first place and James was not playing by the rules and letting him reload on his ammo. "God damn it Dad! This isn't fair!"

"All is fair in love and war!" James shot back.

Cooper scowled and started running faster, hopping up on to the hood of the car and scrambling up on to the roof. Unfortunately he had forgotten it was still wet from what washing it had been given and he nearly killed himself slipping and falling off the thing.

"Whoa!" James skidded to a stop and looked at Cooper in concern. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Cooper replied. He slowly got up to his feet. "I'm fi-DAAAAAD!" He just about jumped out of his skin as James promptly dumped his entire bucket of water over his head. He coughed and sputtered as goosebumps broke out over his entire body and he gave James a resentful glare. "Really Dad? Really?"

"What?" James said, trying to act a thousand times more innocent than he was. "I told you all was fair in love and war."

Cooper narrowed his eyes and launched himself at James, wrapping his limbs around him like some sort of monkey and putting the older man in a headlock. "Hey!" James yelled in surprise. He tried to pry Cooper off but Cooper wasn't going anywhere. "That's cheating!"

"All is fair in love and war, remember?"

"HELP ME!" Joie came careening around and hid behind them, ensuring that they both took a direct shot from Connor and the hose.

Cooper rolled out of bed and discarded his jacket before opening his window and escaping through it. He didn't know where he was going. He was just getting the fuck out. The sun was impossibly bright on his eyes and he had to squint and shield them with his hand as half ran half stumbled away from home. Out here if felt like he had jumped into a fire it was so hot but he could barely even feel it. He was too cold inside to feel anything beyond his own pain.

…

Six hours later and he was still walking. He had no idea where he really was and he could barely even stay up on his feet because he was weak from a combination of hunger and dehydration. Part of him wanted to pass the fuck out already but he couldn't. He didn't know why but he couldn't. So instead of passing out he kept going, not becoming aware of his surroundings until he nearly tripped over a homeless guy that was laying on the ground.

"Watch it asshole!"

Cooper blinked and stared at the guy dumbly before looking around. If Vegas had a ghetto this was probably technically it. He knew he had driven through it before with James when they really had no other choice. James never took him and Connor around these parts. He knew James hunted in this area at times but he absolutely refused to let the boys come around these parts. There were usually lots of shootings and stuff and there were also gangs and drugs and other shit that made James as a father say "stay the fuck away".

Cooper walked away from the homeless guy he stumbled on, going deeper into the neighborhood. He was so out of it he really didn't notice all the looks he was getting. Everyone that saw him was labeling him as a rich white boy that had strayed too far from home. Which really was the truth. He wasn't meant to be out here. This wasn't his world. He was meant to be home, being spoiled and not having to do a damn thing ever because he had a daddy who made more money than even the most successful drug dealers out here could even dream of getting.

"Yo! White boy! Don't I know you?"

Cooper stopped and looked at the direction the voice was coming from. It was Javier. Instantly his blood started to boil. He remembered damn well what Joie had told him about this piece of shit. Fucker tried to make Joie do things with him that he didn't want to do. God damn piece of shit. He remembered all too well the way Joie stiffened when he saw him and how he tried so hard to avoid telling him about what had happened. That shit had clearly scared him, even though he had tried so hard to play it off like it was nothing. Cooper remembered how badly he wanted to kill Javier when he found out and that feeling hadn't subsided one little bit. "I don't know. Do you?"

Javier frowned as Cooper stepped into the alley with him. "I asked you first white boy."

Cooper casually stuck his hands in his pockets so he could grab the knife he had with him. The weakness he had been feeling was gone, replaced now by the anger and the extreme need to kill. "Well how am I supposed to know if you know me? I can't read your mind."

Javier's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You've got a smart little mouth, you know that?"

"I've been told that."

"You know…" Javier's voice trailed off a bit as he sized Cooper up. "Smart mouths really don't last too long out here. Even if you are a big dog."

"I'm still going to last longer than you." That was all the warning Cooper gave before driving his knife into Javier's stomach. Javier's eyes widened and he stared down at the knife in shock. Cooper twisted the blade as much as he could before yanking it out and letting the other man fall to the ground. Blood was pouring out of Javier's mouth and he flopped around a bit before finally dying. Cooper watched with a blank expression on his face, not feeling any real joy in this death. Satisfaction? Yeah, as much as he could possibly feel right now. But joy? Hell no.

He was about to walk away when he caught something slightly sticking out of Javier's pocket. Curiosity got the better of him and he reached down took out what it was in there. It was a small baggie full of white powder. Cocaine was his guess, but quite honestly, his knowledge of drugs really only went as far as seeing them used on movies so it wasn't like he was one hundred percent sure about that. And it didn't really matter to him quite frankly. He stared at the substance for quite a long time before pocketing it and leaving the alley, not even bothering to discard Javier's body. So what if anyone found it? He didn't give a flying fuck. Nobody around him knew him and fucking Javier was a damn drug dealer anyway. Anybody could have killed him in a deal gone wrong. Or another drug dealer could have done it. Either way, nobody was going to cry about his loss.

He walked to the nearest park and went into the bathroom they had set up there for the kiddies to use if they had to go when they played. He flipped on the light so he could see and carefully poured the powder along the edge of the sink, so totally not thinking about what it was he was about to do. This was beyond any level of stupidity but he didn't care. He just stared at the white powder a little bit more before snorting it up, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head as he let the drug do it's work.

…

"COOPER!" James shouted at the top of his lungs as he looked around wildly. Night had fallen and Cooper had been missing for several hours now. James had gone into his room to try to make him come out and eat but Cooper had been gone. James of course had completely panicked. He had no idea how long Cooper had been gone and had absolutely no idea where he could have even went. "COOPER!"

Nothing. No answer. Not surprising really. He hadn't really been expecting to really get one. "Damn it." He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He was freaking out big time. His son was slipping through his fingers and there seemed to be absolutely nothing he could do about it. Everything he was trying was failing on an epic scale. It was killing him to have Cooper be so filled with this much grief and knowing that it could have been prevented. If he hadn't made Cooper go with him and Mark that night, Joie wouldn't have died and all this wouldn't be happening. Cooper had been right, this was his fault.

Three hours went by. He searched and searched but no luck was being had. He was freaking even more and wasn't doing a good job at hiding it. He couldn't even answer his phone every time Julie called to check on him he was so upset. "Come on Cooper please," he begged under his breath. "Please please please…"

He stared searching another park. He had searched a couple already but he hadn't been to this one yet. At least he didn't think he had. He was so exhausted and his nerves were so frayed he could have been wrong. "Cooper!" He looked around, not seeing anything at first. But then, just when he was about to leave, he saw his son stumbling out of the bathroom and nearly falling over in the process. "COOPER!"

Cooper didn't even look at him. He just stumbled forward more and then laid down on the ground, clutching at the grass like it was a blanket. "Cooper!" James ran to him and knelt down beside him, his stomach dropping as he looked into his eyes. Cooper was higher than a fucking kite.

"I can hear him. I can hear him. I can hear you I can I can I'm here," Cooper said, actually talking to the ground. "Joie I'm here! I'm here Joie I'm here. I'm here" He nuzzled his face against the ground and James watched him in shock, completely and totally dying on the inside.