Hello my darlings. I would like to thank Guest,Lic. Lu, Petunia3116, Guest and Clara Who 123 for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So this is a reallllly long chapter, and I confess I've have had a variation of this chapter in my mind since the being of this story, in fact this was one of the main reasons I have for writing it. So I wanted to make sure I got it right. Anyway I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA.
It was four days after Callen had returned to his own room. Which meant he had spent the last four days sneaking into Marty's every night and sneaking out early every morning. In fact he had left so early the other man was still asleep when he did. He was fed up with it now. He didn't want this to be how his relationship with Marty went, he wanted more. And he knew there was only one way to get that. Therefore that night, once everyone else was asleep he made his way to Marty's room once again.
"Hey, you." Deeks said wrapping his arms around G as soon as the door was closed and without any other words being spoken he pressed his lips against those belonging to the man he loved. God how he wished he could do this any time he wanted, but he knew that wasn't an option right then. Not that he had given up his quest to get G to tell their daughter about them, but he wasn't sure it was a quest he would ever win.
"Hey, Marty. Can we talk?" Callen asked pulling out of Marty's arms and instead making his way over to the edge of the bed and sitting down, though he hadn't let go of Marty's hand as he did so and as such the younger man soon joined him.
"Okay." Deeks muttered as he was guided to the bed, but when they had both sat all that came next was silence. Deeks couldn't help but let his mind run to the worst possible thing he could imagine G wanted to talk about. Oh god, he hoped he didn't want them to break up. He didn't think he cope without this man in his life. Had he been too pushy with trying to get him to tell Alayna about them? Had he somehow pushed the man he loved away when all he was trying to do was bring him closer? How was he going to fix this? His mind was a whirl of thoughts and questions and panic and worry. He needed to know what was going on. "You know G, when people say they want to talk, they usually follow it with words." He finally got out, trying for a jokey tone but not sure he succeeded.
"I know, it's just…" at that Callen trailed off as he tried to think of the right words to say what he wanted, no what he needed to. Thinking that he took a deep breath and decided to just plunge right in. "I want us to tell Allie that we are together."
Deeks' eyes widen at those words, because they were not the ones he had expected to hear. In fact he was getting to the point where he never expected to hear them.
"For real?" He asked in disbelief.
"Yes, for real." Callen replied with a smile at how stunned Marty looked at his words.
"Wow. That's, so much better than the things I thought you were gonna say. Of course pretty much anything would be better than that. Why the sudden change of mind?" Deeks rambled.
"Well, I'm kinda getting fed up with having to leave your bed at the crack of dawn. Plus Sam may have said something." Callen responded with a shrug, trying to pass off Sam's intervention as of no real importance, even if he knew it was his words that had started him thinking in the right direction. Or at least what he hoped was the right direction.
"Remind me to get the big guy fruit basket or something." Deeks replied with a sunny smile, not fooled for a minute. He really was gonna have to thank the other guy for his help on this one. Of course he couldn't stop himself from asking, "are you really sure about this? I don't want you feel pressured."
"Marty, you have being trying to get me to agree to this for weeks." Callen answered with a roll of his eyes. He wouldn't have said it if he wasn't sure, surely Marty knew that.
"Well yeah, but I want you agreeing for the right reasons." Deeks responded reaching over so he could hold both of G's hands in his and stare into his eyes. Wanting to make sure he really was okay with what they had just decided to do.
"I love you, Marty. That is the only reason that matters." Callen replied giving Marty's hands a squeeze and smiling softly at him. And sitting there, staring into the younger man's eyes, he realised that that really was the truth.
At that Deeks nodded. "I can accept that. So we'll tell her tomorrow night?" He suggested, wanting to tell Alayna as soon as possible, he had missed waking up with the man he loved by his side, and he wanted him back there ASAP.
"Okay. Tomorrow, but for now…" With that Callen grabbed the younger man, pulling him into a heated kiss as he pushed them both up the bed so that they were lying down. He need to show Marty just how much he loved him, needed to tell him without words what he had just realised, that the love they shared was worth more than anything, and it was the only thing that should have any bearing on what they did.
And Deeks, well he was more than happy to follow where G was leading. Because he loved him, and he was soon going to have everything he had wanted since the moment he learnt he had a daughter… he was going to have a family he loved more than anything else in the world. And nothing could be better in his mind.
The next evening after dinner the four people who lived in the Deeks-Callen household moved to sit in the livingroom. Callen had asked Clare to be present for the conversation they were about to have with their daughter, wanting to make sure she would have someone she could turn to if it didn't go the way Deeks hoped it would.
Clare had agreed happily when he had told her what it was they were planning to do. She was glad the couple had finally decided to come clean to their daughter. She deserved the truth, and she had already been asking questions that if Clare had not evaded, would have led her very inquisitive little mind to the truth. Alayna needed to hear it from her parents and not work it out from what the kids said at pre-school. Therefore she made her way to a chair in the corner, one she knew Callen favoured on quiet afternoons when they were off work so he could read and watch his family with love in his eyes. She left the couch for the family, she was there for support only after all.
Deeks led his daughter to the couch, but rather than getting her to sit in the middle like she usually did after dinner, with both him and G on either side of her, he directed her to the end, while he pulled G to sit beside him. He wanted him and his lover to show a united, loving front during the conversation to come, and he wanted to be able to take his hand. He was nervous about what was gonna happen. Nervous about telling his little girl of the new change that was going to happen in her life after she had only just settled into it. But it needed to be done, therefore smiling softy at her he spoke, "Sweetheart, daddy G and I have something we want to tell you."
"Okay." Alayna replied with a frown on her face at the earnest look on her daddy's face. She flicked her eyes to daddy G to see something similar in his eyes to. What was going on? They were happy, her new family, what could her daddies want to talk about?
"Daddy G and I, we're... err… we're together." Deeks said, trying to think of words he could use to explain their relationship to his daughter, yet he knew he failed miserably by the confused look in her eyes.
"I don't understand." she replied puzzled. They were all in the room together, what did her daddy mean?
Sighing internally Deeks tried again. "We're in a relationship, pumpkin." He responded with a smile on his face, waiting for her to return it. But alas that was not going to happen.
Alayna heard the words and she felt her throat tighten. No she couldn't lose her daddy G. She couldn't lose either of them. G had told her that he wasn't her daddy's boyfriend, and yet now her daddy was saying he was. No. With that thought she narrowed her eyes at G as she spoke in a hurt tone. "You lied to me. You told me you weren't daddy's boyfriend."
Callen didn't even hesitate. One look at Allie face and he was up and moving so he was kneeing in front of the little girl, resting his hand on her knee gently.
"No Allie, I didn't lie. I wasn't, not then. But since you've both come to live here, that has changed." He explained. This was what he had feared would happen, what he had tried to avoid by keeping her in the dark.
"No. You can't. I don't want you to leave." Alayna replied her voice breaking as tears started to form in her eyes at the idea of G leaving her and her daddy. Of him leaving the family they had made. She couldn't take it. She didn't want it. Why did things have to change? Why did people always have to leave her?
"I'm not going anywhere, kiddo. I love your daddy, just as I love you. Nothing is going to change that." Callen responded instantly trying to put as much reassurance in his words as he could. It was all he could do now, all any of them could do to try and make Allie feel the safety she had in their family.
"That's what mommy's boyfriends said as well. I don't believe you. You're going leave and I don't want you to go." Alayna shouted back, puling herself away from him as she pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on top as she let the sobs and tears come. She couldn't cope with someone else she loved leaving.
At that Callen turned to Deeks with such pain in his eyes the younger man knew he had to fix this. Had to ease the guilt and worry in G's eyes, not to mention remove the hurt his little girl was going through. He didn't know what had happened in her short life that made her so afraid that G was going to leave just because he was his boyfriend, though he could guess, and it did not make him happy towards her mom that was for sure. He didn't like the idea of Alayna being subjected to a parade of men coming and going in her life to such an extent that she associated the idea of someone having a boyfriend with the other man she cared about leaving her. But he couldn't worry about that now, no what he needed now was a solution. Suddenly his mind hit upon an idea, it was crazy, and he had no idea if G would agree, but it was all he could think of. It was all he had. Therefore turning to the older man, he gave him one more chance to say something, anything to make this right, but when all he got back was a look of desolation he knew it was gonna be up to him. "Okay munchkin. I get it, you don't want G to be my boyfriend…"
"Okay munchkin. I get it, you don't want G to be my boyfriend…" Callen heard Deeks say and his eyes widened at it. Was Marty gonna break it off? Now? Okay, I mean it made sense, Allie was the most important person to the both of them. But even as he hardened his heart and mind to the words he was convinced Marty was about to say, he couldn't help but wonder how the hell he was gonna cope with this outcome.
Deeks didn't see any of that because his eyes were trained on his daughter for what he was about to say. Because he knew if he looked at G, he might not be able to say what he was going to. No that wasn't it, it was more he wasn't sure he could cope with seeing what his response to his words was gonna be. Because he didn't think for a minute it was gonna be the happiness and joy he wished it to be. But he would deal with that after. First Allie, then G. With that he took a deep breath and staring into the red rimmed eyes of his daughter, who still had tears balancing on her lashes he spoke.
"Okay munchkin. I get it, you don't want G to be my boyfriend. But how would you feel if he was my husband?" he asked as he unconsciously rubbed circles in her back in the hopes of making her feel better.
Alayna blinked at her daddy as she proceeded what he had just said. "Husband? You mean, you two would get married?" She asked cautiously not sure if she was understanding right.
"Yeah, I do." Deeks replied smiling at his little girl as he saw her eyes widen and a light come back into them.
"So he would be my real daddy?" She whispered. It was something she had never thought to have, two real parents like all the other children had. And while she did not want G to be her daddy's boyfriend, his husband was a different matter entirely. Because marriage was forever. She knew that much about it. It was something people who loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together did. They got married. Husbands didn't leave. They stayed with their families and they became real daddy's, and real daddy's didn't leave either.
"He would. What do you think?" Deeks asked smiling bigger now, already planning that once he and G were married he would arrange for the older man to adopt his daughter officially. Yes, this was what he wanted. It may not have been how he had planned to propose, but hey, it worked, right?
"Could I be flower girl?" Alayna asked her eyes lighting up even more at the idea. One of her friends had been flower girl at her aunts wedding, and she had a really pretty dress. Alayna wanted to wear a really pretty dress too, especially as it would be her daddies getting married.
"Sure, sweetheart. But I think I'd best see what G thinks now, don't you agree?" Deeks responded deciding that now his idea had comforted his daughter, and before she planned there whole wedding, he should probably talk to older man about it all. He really hoped he would agree.
"Okay." Alayna answered happily smiling at her daddy without a worry in her eyes. They were going to get married, and she could see no reason for that not to be true.
At that Deeks turned to G only to see him looking like he had turned to stone causing him to wince slightly. Right then. First battle won, but he still had to win the war it seemed. But then he hadn't really expected anything different. Cutting his eyes to Clare he raised his eyebrow conveying without words that he really needed to talk to G alone.
Clare understood that look. She knew the two men had a lot to talk about. I mean she had sat there in shock when she heard the words come out of Deeks mouth. Marriage? Where had that come from? And looking at Callen she wasn't the only one. She would make sure they had time to discuss everything they needed to.
"Hey, Allie, why don't we go get you washed up and ready for bed while your daddies talk, huh?" She suggested standing to hold her hand out to the little girl who still had drying tear tracks on her face even as she smiled at the idea of the wedding that in her mind was to come.
"Okay." With that she jumped off the couch, wrapping her arms quickly round her daddy before moving to hug daddy G, whose arms automatically wrapped around her, before taking Clare's hand and leaving the room. Deeks could hear her talking away to the woman with her, already planning the wedding that he wasn't entirely sure would be happening, not if the look on Callen's face was anything to go by at any rate.
"G?" he asked preparing to do battle once more. He would fight with everything he had, because this was what he wanted. He wanted his family, and he wasn't about to give them up for anyone, not even the man in front of him.
Callen heard Marty's words, but they weren't the ones he had braced himself for. "But how would you feel if he was my husband?" husband. Marriage. To Deeks. His brain shut down at the idea. It was unfathomable for him to even try and contemplate it. It was something he could not even envision. Where the hell had that idea come from? What was Marty thinking telling their daughter they were going to get married? There was no way… they couldn't… they weren't… this wasn't what they were. Sure they were in a relationship, but… marriage? Damn it. They hadn't even gone a real date. They couldn't get married. It wasn't possible. It made no sense. It was too much. It… no.
It was these confused thoughts that were going through his mind so much that he didn't even hear Allie and Marty's conversation. In fact he only came back to the real world when he felt a pair of small arms wrap around him and he automatically hugged his daughter back. Why was she hugging him? She had been in tears. What had Marty said? Had he really just decided that they were gonna get married without even thinking of talking to him about it? Hell he hadn't even asked him. Oh god, how was he gonna get them out of this damn mess?
But then they were alone, and the silence was finally broken by a quiet "G?" forcing him to turn and look at the man who had just turned his life upside down and inside out and… god.
"No." he said standing quickly and moving across the room to make as much space between him and the other man as possible, placing his back to him as well so he wouldn't be able to read any of the thoughts going through his head on his face.
Of course the first part didn't work so well when Deeks got up and followed him.
"G." Marty said as he approached the older man carefully, as you would a wounded animal you wanted to help, but knew could lash out at any given moment.
"We can't. Okay?" Callen replied, throwing his head back so he could stare up at the ceiling, trying to find a way through his thoughts, while also trying to find a solution to the situation Deeks had just dropped them in. damn it, Marty. Why had he done it?
"Why not? I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and no one else. I know we haven't been together long, and it may seem a little crazy-" Deeks replied honestly. Everything he was saying was the truth in his mind. Okay, sure it was a little too soon, but did it really matter? I mean hadn't they both decided that this was what they wanted for the rest of their lives? To be together? Wasn't that the decision they made when they got together? When Allie called G, daddy G? When they had decided to tell their daughter about them?
"It's a lot crazy Deeks, and I'm not doing it." Callen responded absolute, still not turning round. He couldn't understand what had gone through Marty head when he had come up with this idea.
"G, ever since this relationship started I knew that I wanted you to be a part of my family, forever. Okay sure, I may not have put it into words, or even really thought about it before, but I have always planned to spend my life with you, to grow old with you, to marry you. Please, I need you." Deeks pleaded, putting all the passion and love he had for the other man into his words, hoping they would be enough, hoping he had enough to convince the man he loved to spend the rest of their lives together.
At that Callen turned around. He couldn't not at the emotions he heard in Marty's voice. Couldn't not look into his blue eyes, eyes that were begging him to agree. And even though he didn't want to, he could feel with that one look he was starting to weaken in his resolve to say no. Because he loved this god damn man, so much.
Seeing Callen was now looking at him Deeks took a deep breath and decided to go for broke. Therefore he lowered himself onto one knee, and looked up as he asked the question he should probably have asked before talking to his daughter about it.
"G Callen, will you make me the happiest man in the world, and agree to marry me? Agree to spend your life with me, raising our daughter? Agree to let me love you for the rest of my days?"
"Marty-" Callen replied, but before he could say anything more he was cut off by the man in front of him. The man proposing to him on bended knee.
"Don't say no." Marty said, reaching out for his hands and taking them in his own. Desperation in his voice now, because he knew this was it. The make or break point in their relationship. There was no coming back from this. If Callen said no now that would be it. The end of everything, and Deeks wasn't ready for that to happen.
"Marty-" softer this time, a look starting to appear in Callen's eyes that Deeks thought was acceptance, though he could still see the doubt.
"We'll have a really long engagement, as long as you want. But please, don't say no. Don't let this be the end. Because I don't want an end, I want you." Deeks begged, bearing his soul and heart for Callen to decide whether he was going to treasure it or crush it. It was up to him now, Deeks had done all he could. Had offered everything he had, he just hoped it was enough. Hoped he was enough.
Callen stood there thinking. He had decided to take a leap and tell Allie about them. Had decided he wanted them to be a real family. And while the idea of marriage had never once entered his head, and the fact Marty was suggesting it shocked the living hell out of him, his brain was finally starting to work and get with the program. The idea of a long engagement… would it really be any different to now? I mean sure they would be engaged, but really, in the grand scheme of things, what did that change? It wasn't like they would be going down to city hall and getting married the next day, was it? Marty was willing to wait, and that meant he could put off any idea of marriage and weddings until after Kensi returned. Until after his worries and fears had been addressed. And after that… well who knew how the future would change? So was it really that crazy? Well, the idea of marriage, yes that was crazy and something he most definitely wasn't ready to think about. But an engagement?... If it was the only way he would be able to keep his family, be able to keep the man in front of him… was there really anything wrong with that idea? They were just words after all. Engagement, fiancé, nothing more than words.
Therefore taking a deep breath he stared into the eyes of the man he loved and finally gave his answer.
"Yes."
At that simple word Deeks eyes widened and the biggest smile ever appeared on his face as he surged upwards to wrap his arms around the man who had just agreed to marry him. As he passionately kissed his husband-to-be. Releasing all the tension and worry he had had in his mind while he watched G decide the fate of their lives together. As watched him, hoping against hope that he would be enough to get him to agree. And he had. G was his now and forever. He was his fiancé. And damn did everything suddenly feel completely right in the world. Oh he knew it wasn't going to be easy, he knew the idea of a long engagement had been what had swayed G to agree, but he could work with that. At least he still had the man he loved.
The kiss was only broken when a cough sounded behind them, reminding both men that they were not alone in the house. Turning the saw Clare and Alayna standing there, the latter already in her pyjamas, Fred in her arms.
"G said yes, we gonna get married." Deeks announced, though he was pretty sure the other two could have worked that out from the fact they had walked in on them kissing, but he wanted to make sure it was clear, and he really wanted to say the words. Of course he noticed how the hand in his suddenly tightened at his words, but he didn't say anything to the older man. It was a sudden change, and it was gonna take them both some time to get used to the idea, he knew that. But the first hurdle had been passed, and at the moment he felt like he could take on the whole damn world.
"Yeah." Alayna squealed before launching herself across the room, wrapping her arms around both her daddies' waists. They were going to be a proper family, they were going to be her two real parents, and she couldn't wait.
And Callen looking down at the girl's happy face as she smiled up at them both, before turning to look at the exact same smile on the man he loved, realised that this really was everything he wanted. He may not be ready to go the distance and marry Deeks tomorrow, but he knew that one day he would be able to do it. Because he loved him, them. This was his family, and they were the only things that mattered. As long as they were happy then so was he.
With that realisation he bent down and picked Alayna up in his arms. "Want to stay up and have a celebratory glass of juice? Not every day your daddy gets engaged." He asked smiling at Marty as he said the words, enjoying how they lit up his face.
"Not daddy, daddies." Alayna corrected still smiling.
"Daddies." Callen corrected himself, before taking Deeks hand with his free one and leading his family into the kitchen for the celebratory drinks. If this was how it felt to be engaged, he was more than happy with it.