Pre Story Notes:

You can't win 'em all. Sometimes the best you can do is to fail as gracefully as you can. In the end all your plans are for naught, and no matter how perfect everything goes for you, you just don't have any control of the situation.

And some times, when you push, push, and push some more, you're eventually going to go just one step too far, bet one hand too long, and screw up spectacularly. Kind of like the rules of the card game featured in this chapter title.

Sometimes, you go too far.

The good news...

I'm not dead yet. I guess I should be thankful the situation has turned out that way.

The, not so good news...

I'm now a 'guest' of the infamous dimensional criminal and all around Mad Scientist, Doctor Jail Scaglietti. And by 'guest', I of course mean prisoner.

Oh sure, I wasn't looked in a cell, or covered with armed guards, or anything like that. In fact, ever since he had defused the situation, I haven't even been so much as ordered to go anywhere against my will. But I knew that I was under non-stop surveillance, and that any attempt to leave this base would result in my immediate 'rescue' from the environment outside. See: 'Recapture'.

The Doc. had a pretty simple method for taking care of my grenade. He called Sein over, had her place her hand over mine, then she quickly yanked on the grenade, phased it out with her Deep Diver skill, and stuffed it into the floor.

After the subsequent 'thump' in which the floor at my feet jumped and cracked. The group allowed me some space while I sat down against a wall to relax. Once rid of the grenade, I had broken into a full body fit of shakes. Yeah, I know I had life threatening combat with a Dark General and did better, but something about knowing that one slipup and in five seconds, you're hamburger-meat really gets to you with a certainty that just seemed more 'real' than the potential threat of getting attacked with magic. In fact, more real than most of the stuff that probably would have killed me if it had actually hit. There was just something about all the magic that just hadn't registered with the reality center of my brain yet. That was probably a good thing.

The Numbers... Well, the younger ones anyway, actually looked a bit pitying at my state once I broke down. I couldn't really be sure though. The Doc's orders might have been keeping them back, or it could have been the fact that Senbei continued to smile and raising 'put up your dukes!' poses every time they even stepped closer. All the Numbers seemed to be well aware of keeping their distance from the little demon god.

Once I had managed to calm myself down again, the Doc walked over to lead me out of the room. The place was wrecked. What with the wall knocked down and everything...

He led me around his little underground base while riddling me with a series of carefully placed questions. He seemed fascinated by my ability to teleport randomly from world to world. I had to remind myself, that for all the innocent scientific curiosity, that he was technically a major villain. And so I didn't give him the full details.

While I filled him in on my story (slightly modified for content), I took the liberty of surveying the base as we wandered. The place was dim, slightly damp, and cast in an eerie green glow. What is it with mad scientists and creepy mood lighting? Don't they know that you should do 'Science!' in a brightly-lit place?

I got a feel for where the outside of the place was, as the external walls seemed to be merely unfinished stone passageways. It was as if whoever was building decided only the internal walls really needed to be made. I think the Doc. was trying to get me turned around with this walk so I couldn't get a feel for where I was in case I tried to leave.

Good luck with that one. That trick might work on my mother, but I can navigate to any place I've been after visiting it just once.

The only thing that seemed out of place was a passageway leading 'away' from the base in the outside wall that had a radically different design. It looked more like someone decided an underground cathedral was the order of the day. I only caught a glimpse through the small opening that lead into it, but the corridor on the other side was huge comparatively to anything we'd been walking through.

I took a guess as to what it was, and decided to file the location of the corridor away, just in case. If I had to run for it, getting lost in the labyrinth design of something like the Cradle might be better than trying to play hide and seek in Jail's own base. After all, if I don't know what I'm doing, I should make damn well sure no one else does either. Oh, that's good for a rule. RULE THREE: If I don't know what I'm doing, I should make sure the same goes for everyone else. Then we're on even footing. I'm pretty sure that even if they did somewhat know the layout of that thing, they didn't know it as well as their base.

The entire time I was flanked by Tre on one side, who kept a leery eye on Senbei, and Quattro on the other. Who gave the majority of her attention to the floating panel of 'holographic' displays that reminded me distinctly of some eerie floating green keyboard that was at home on a pipe organ. Every time the doctor asked a question, she'd punch in some data, glance at me, and punch in more data. If she caught me looking, she'd just smirk cutely. It was horribly uncomfortable to see that sociopath pretending to be likable face to face.

I did get some amusement near the end. She was so busy putting in data and trying to mess with my head that when we walked through a lab door, she smacked into the wall next to it. Serves her right.

"No," I began, backing up as she grabbed her nose. "Walking through solid objects is her power. You probably shouldn't attempt it."

I had pointed at Sein, who was with the rest of the group following up the rear. Tre had snorted in contempt at my remark but otherwise made no other indication that she even acknowledged anything I said. Instead she just glared.

The girls behind had tried to look inconspicuous. I emphasize try. But really, having eight girls each in their own jumpsuit following a dozen meters behind was about as inconspicuous as a rock concert. Luna was the one most concerned about the situation, looking over her shoulder every few seconds. She hadn't spoken much, but obviously noticed how I'd been acting ever since we got here. For a feline that had only been around me for what amounted to maybe a day, she was growing accustom to my personality and habits. She knew something was up when I had more or less clamed up, and made no attempt to ask uncomfortable questions. Which was probably for the better. Senbei just continued to follow my standing orders to stay low key like when we were playing demon.

When the Doc. finally ushered us into a lab, she had given me a silent look that all but said 'not good'.

Once there, the Numbers tried to look inconspicuous. But again, eleven girls, one mad scientist, small room... Good luck... Jail was nice about it, but made it plain that I was to be all but strip-searched. He sugar -coated his every action knowing I was more cooperative to niceties than to hostility, but I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer as Uno personally unloaded the contents of my backpack.

Which lead directly to the bad news.

He took the Rainbow Crystal so he could study it.

I knew he'd take it of course. But I just couldn't think of any way to keep it out of his grasp that wasn't absurdly obvious, and I couldn't just 'lose ' it the few minutes we'd been walking around. So while Uno systematically went through the contents of my backpack, I simply stared at the Doc as he looked at the gem under what appeared to be a microscope. Fully aware that Luna was herself very tense about him having it.

The very thought of the Doc. having that little crystal made my worn out brain scream bloody murder. He was bad enough with the stuff he had access to. With that single gem he could potentially be more dangerous than having the Cradle active. You couldn't hide the Cradle once it was active. It was a huge ass battleship over a mile long. But that rainbow crystal...

The sheer number of dangerous possibilities proved so unnerving, that while I sat with my hand on my chin, watching Jail's every move with it, I almost missed a hand slowly snaking its way to the shotgun lying next to me and picking it up. When I noticed the thing rising up to eye level, I didn't even think. My free hand just came up, and slammed the firearm right back down on the table and pinned it there.

The sound of carbon steel hitting table was enough to startle me out of my trance to realize what was going on.

"Oh," Quattro cooed innocently next to me. "So you are awake..."

I so want to punch her in the nose.

"Do not touch weapons that don't belong to you," I glared instead. "It's not SAFE."

I practically spat the word 'safe' at her, trying to remember that apart from Senbei's abilities, I was practically naked compared to my 'hosts'. Speaking of safe, I noticed another of the girls. Wendi was it? Handling a curved green block, with words reading 'FRONT TOWARD ENEMY' on the front. She was screwing a smaller component with a wire into the-

"CLAYMORE!" I practically yelped as I knocked the chair I was in over. I crossed the space in a second and yanked the mine out of her hand. Jesus Christ! She had the blasting cap in the primer-well and everything already. And of course, a few feet away, Sein was checking out the detonator, working to attach the wire to it.

"Give me that!" I snapped. "GIVE ME THAT!"

I yanked on the wire, moving over to the Blue-green haired cyborg, yanking the firing device out of her hand, garnering a series of glares as Tre rounded menacingly on me.

"What are you doing?" the elder combat Cyborg snapped.

"Don't touch unknown weapons!" I snapped viciously at the red head. "You trying to kill us?"

"I know what it is," Wendi growled back. "I was timing how fast I could put it together."

"STUPID!" I snapped in chorus with Tre. We glanced at each other for just a moment before I made an 'after you' motion to her.

"You know better than to handle equipment in the lab like this!" she snapped. "Do you forget the Doctor still has that crystal RIGHT OVER THERE?"

Get her! GET HER! Bark... BARK! You may not be a 'good guy', but at least you've got your priorities straight!

"But I-" Wendi began.

"No buts!" Tre snapped. "If you want to play with dangerous toys, go run the simulators. Fooling around with weapons without being trained on them is-"

A flash of light made everyone jump. I spun towards it once I realized we weren't blown up.

"Oh wow!" one of the girl's who's name I forgot grinned as she lowered my digital camera. "The look on your face! Quattro, look! Look!"

"Oh?" Quattro looked curiously at the screen.

Then I noticed what was going on. While Uno had simply catalogued my stuff to assess how dangerous I really was, the remainder had quickly fallen in behind and gone rummaging through my things.

Dieci was fooling with my Ipod, pushing buttons, putting the headphones next to her ear, and listening. Dido, I think that was pink-lightsaber's name, was the one playing with my camera. Cinque was engrossed in my leatherman multitool. The short girl, who at first glance looked like a young boy, I think her name was Otto, was almost impassively examining my change of clothes, staring curiously at the dirty 'Mo Dakka Fo Life' shirt.

Lord help me, in an instant my opinion of the numbers, at least the younger ones, had been steam rolled. For all their deadly abilities as enhanced magical cyborg super-soldiers, they were like kids.

Wait... Half of them WERE kids, more or less. FUCKING HELL!

"No," I began, dropping the claymore gear on the table, then pausing to pocket the detonator. "No. No... NO... NO! NO!"

As I said that I walked over and yanked my camera away from Dido.

"Not yours!" I snapped as she looked at me shocked. "Mine-"

I turned and grabbed the headphones out of Dieci's hand.

"-Mine-"

I grabbed the Ipod.

"-Mine too-"

I snapped up my leatherman.

"MINE!"

I grabbed the 'Mo Dakka Fo Life' shirt.

"And still mine!"

Then turned and dumped the stuff back on the table, and saw Sein had moved on to pick up the Mossberg.

'WHAM!' Tre slammed the weapon down this time.

"Okay everyone out!" She snapped angrily. "All of you! OUT!"

"We're just-"

"OUT!" she thundered. In an instant, the younger cyborg girls cleared the lab.

"Always babysitting," she grumbled under her breath just loud enough for me to hear.

"Yeah," I muttered back. "Freakin' kids..."

Tre turned and glared viciously at me, reminding me that while we shared the same sentiment, she most certainly was an enemy. She then turned quickly away and wandered back over to the Doctor to see what he was doing.

"Yep," Quattro continued as she walked up next to me. "Always messing with things they shouldn't, aren't they?"

I'm not talking to you, psycho.

"Now-now," Jail commented idly from his spot behind a machine while I started taking the Claymore apart again. "You can't blame them for curiosity. Our guest isn't from around here after all."

"So," Quattro wandered away from me. "Anything interesting about that little crystal?"

Jail looked up from his device, and my heart sank. The look on his face was that of barely contained megalomaniacal glee.

"MAGNIFICANT!" he declared. "I have never seen such a fine specimen as this. It has to be hundreds- NO! THOUSANDS of times more potent than a Jewel seed."

There were a series of gasps from the remaining three elder cyborgs. I noticed Luna hang her head in exasperation in a corner.

"Impossible," Tre snapped. "An artifact THAT powerful would never go unnoticed by the TSAB."

"Normally you would be correct," the Doc. continued. "However this crystal has an amazing form of magic that I've never seen before. It's superbly stable to the point it doesn't even give off much excess power. But it's got so much raw power within..."

Jail stood from his machine and walked around.

"Young man," he continued at length. "You said it was one of seven-"

Me and my big mouth...

"How did you get it?"

There was no way I was going to tell this guy how to get his hands on the other rainbow crystals. He could probably do more than enough damage if he figured out how to harness just one. But if he somehow managed to go universe hopping and got his hands on all seven and got the Silver Crystal...

"Looted it off a corpse," I shrugged. "You'd have to ask the monster I killed, except he's, well, very much dead."

That seemed to work. Jail's expression deflated back to something more or less 'sane'.

"A pity," he sighed. "I guess just the one will have to do then."

Then he turned to face Senbei, who'd made himself quite comfortable sitting on a shelf.

"But that's not the only interesting thing," the Doc continued as he strode across the room. "Your little friend here is quite something. What did you say your name was?"

"Senbei," the little demon-god floated into a standing position and took a sweeping bow. "God of Poverty and Misfortune, at your service."

"God, of poverty," Jail furrowed his brow. "Interesting... So you're saying you have power over wealth?"

"PRECISOOREE!" Senbei raised a finger as he belted out his now tired Engrish. "As everyone knows, happiness is wealth! And I control this vast wealth by taking it from others, and giving it to myself! So by making others unhappy and poor, I can make myself incredibly rich!"

He then turned his head and winked. "That is the law of the conservation of happiness."

I know he'd started with this earlier, but this time, he drew a blank, confused look out of the doctor and the other's present. My gut instantly warned me that this would lead to no good. Senbei was a wild card even in his own world.

"Perhaps you could be a little more clear," Jail tilted his head to the side.

"A pleasure," Senbei nodded. "I am always happy to make other's unlucky! It is by taking away their luck, and thus, their happiness that allows me to grow richer and richer!"

"Oh!" The doctor started to smile. "So you can control probability?"

Oh god, SENBEI! Don't give him any ideas!

"Probably..." Senbei wagged his finger. "Probably not. Something so crude as the mathematical variables of chance are but mere tools to me. My skills are far GREATER than that!"

"Perhaps a demonstration of these abilities would be in order," Jail pondered. I froze. Luna noticed me stiffen. So did Quattro.

"YESU..." Senbei smiled flamboyantly. "I aim to please, as it pleases me."

Uh oh... Senbei looked around the room mischievously before his eyes settled on Uno.

"TARGETO-LOCK!" he grinned, and zipped out of sight.

I had no idea what the demon god was about to do, but I didn't want to sit here and find out. Not while he was fooling around. I dropped what I was doing and made for the door, slapping a button I'd seen to open it. Luna tore after me.

"SHAKKIN!"

I whirled around against the wall and slapped the door button, sliding it shut just as a series of crashes and yells emanated from the space I'd just vacated. Then I noticed I wasn't the only one who'd made haste out of the room. Quattro stood just opposite of me, staring uneasily at the sounds coming through the metal barrier.

When she noticed I was looking, she smirked.

"What do you want?" I glared.

"I'm just following you," she replied.

"Why?" I asked.

"You seem like you know what you're doing?" she shrugged.

Fair enough. Though really I wish you had stayed in there.

At this point it was quiet behind the door again. So I tapped the button and peaked through the opening. Some of the Doc's lab equipment was broken on the floor; Jail himself tangled under an overturned table with Uno. Tre was pressed against the far wall looking nervous as Senbei sat on her shoulder admiring his handiwork.

"See?" the demon-god asked in quite a self-promoting tone. "It's an art that I'm quite accustom to. You can't perfect this technique with just anyone."

"Doctor!" Quattro covered her mouth then quickly moved over to haul the table off him. "Are you okay?"

"Huhuhu..." Jail's body shook as he started pushing himself off Uno, who in turn looked a bit shocked.

"Wonderful," he continued. "Simply wonderful. Such POWER from such small source, and with such accuracy and control."

He turned to Senbei who was now reclining against Tre's neck, examining the back of his white-gloved hand in self-satisfaction.

"I must learn more," he smirked as Quattro dusted some debris of his lab coat.

"Bad, idea..." thought out loud. In my mind, I could see him creating a Combat Cyborg with powers similar to Senbei, and almost instantly, I envisioned Mihoshi in a blue jumpsuit.

"VERY bad idea..." I continued with a shudder.

"You don't like it?" the Doc. asked curiously. I simply started to laugh unsteadily as an answer, looking at Senbei in the process.

No, I don't like it. At all... In fact, I needed to somehow get Senbei, Luna, the Rainbow Crystal, and myself the hell up out of here before the Doc found a way to accidentally summon Khorne, or Slanesh, or some other 40K Chaos God.

I emphasize 'somehow'...

Because once I had managed to stuff everything back into my backpack and get my gear strapped back on the way it belonged, I had been ushered off to breakfast by Uno at the Doc's bidding. Which meant I had been removed from the proximity of the lab, and the Crystal.

Breakfast was of course, welcome, and I managed... I think I managed, to hide the fact that I made sure I watched someone else eat their food first before I dug into mine. I'm not entirely sure what it was. But it had a meaty taste like Spam, the consistency of rice, with just a hint of lemon pepper.

This combined with a huge helping of good old water did wonders for my headache, at least for now. But I was becoming more and more aware of how much just about every part of my body seemed to ache, and how the room was too cold. I hope I'm not coming down with anything. Who knows what weird mutated version of the flu lurks across these realities. Just what I need... Space Flu, or Demon Measles, or a magical cold... Don't ask me how that last one would work.

This did nothing but make my mood increasingly volatile as the 'morning' dragged on. Frankly, I have no idea WHAT time it is. I'm underground. My best guess is based on a combination of what meal everyone eats, and the fact that I keep showing up at what amounts to four AM.

Suffice to say though that being well past what I would call my 'sanity limit' some time back when I went postal on Zoicite, I was very much aware that I'd become quite unhinged once the little sleep I had gotten had worn off.

Quattro did not make things any easier. I swear, she must be trying to collect data on me for the Doc or something. Does anyone have a cat? It's like having a cat, and I don't mean Luna. I mean a normal, silly little kitty: One that no matter what always seems to gravitate right to the one person in the crowd who doesn't like cats.

To put it bluntly: I don't like Quattro. But she wouldn't take a hint and leave me alone.

Well, to be honest, I didn't TRUST Quattro. As a character, I found her entertaining if only desperately in need of a good ass kicking. But things are a little different when they stop being a character, and start being real. And I wouldn't mind her attempting to talk to me every five minutes if I didn't know for a fact that she was right on the edge of homicidal maniac.

Freakin' psychopath. Why, why does it always have to be the cute ones? It's like that attributes selection for guys who are looking for the perfect girlfriend:

Single, sane, smart, pretty. Pick two and flip a coin.

Quattro wasn't the only one giving me excessive attention. Despite the freedom to generally have fun as misguided magical super soldiers, off days in the base must be boring as all hell. If they weren't out on a mission, they would either play (train) in the simulator, or goof off in the base. That's the only thing I could see actually happening around here aside from soak in the 'bacta tanks' for a few hours. I saw some of those on my 'tour'. How do they BREATHE in those things? Is the liquid super-oxygenated like in 'The Abyss'?

Dah, whatever...

Needless to say, this made ME the most interesting thing to happen in who knows how many weeks.

There were exceptions, like Tre, who glared at me any time I looked in her direction. I think she either didn't trust me, or thought the stuff that had happened to her was my fault. Or maybe both. Probably both. She's 'Serious Business' like Haruka.

Then there was Cinque, who kept her distance, but seemed to be studying me every few minutes. Getting a suspicious glance from Little 'Big Boss' wasn't as bad as the constant prying of the psychopath in the glasses sitting directly across from me... Or Sein, who was bugging me about my shotgun and going on about how weak it was and how I should get a more powerful weapon. Or Dido, who had straight up asked me how I had managed not to be hurt by her attack earlier in the day.

"Maybe you should get your beam sabers checked," I had shrugged. "Using Slaughter Arms on someone probably doesn't work if the weapons are malfunctioning."

Dido had given me the most confused look.

"What?" I asked, hoping she would just drop it.

"My I.S. is not slaughter arms."

"That's her inherent skill," Quattro pointed down the table to one of the few others who hadn't bugged me. Wait, that was the girl with the wicked-ass wrist blades of doom. SOLID, wicked-ass wrist blades of doom... Oh god, I must have heard one and saw the other. If she'd made her attack I'd be confetti. Or at the very least, in need of a new pair of arms... Not that spare-parts were in short supply in a base full of genetically engineered cyborg super soldiers, but I liked these arms. One could even say I'm rather attached to them.

"Hmmm..." I nodded quietly, trying not to give away what I was thinking. This was getting uncomfortable, and I was exhausted. I needed to plan a method to retrieve that Crystal and escape alive. And I couldn't do it while the girls were busy pestering me.

So I did the one thing I found worked really well when you wanted people to leave you alone.

I pulled out my headphones, and stuck them on my head. Then drowned everyone out with music from my Ipod. Nice, loud music... Courtesy of POD...

"BOOM! Here comes the... BOOM! Ready or not!"

Of course, the Numbers who'd been bothering me weren't exactly happy that I had decided to ignore them. Which was just fine with me since this included Quattro getting a touch pouty. Anything that upset Quattro was fine in my book.

Now, how am I going to get that crystal back?

Chances are, the lab had surveillance. Well, technically, no chances about it. That lab DID have surveillance. And probably a very simple item known as a lock. And drones- Fuck I forgot about the drones!

If I got in without permission, I wouldn't be leaving the way I came.

The way I came? Wait... I could leave, and there's nothing they could do to stop me, especially not knowing about it. All I have to do is get into the lab, and then take a nap. The way I was feeling, I could sleep anywhere at this point. Shoving my ass into a cabinet and hiding just long enough to pass out from exhaustion shouldn't be too hard. By the time they realized I had not even attempted to leave, I'd be busy trying not to get megabranded by Lina Inverse or something in another universe.

Not a pleasing prospect, but it beats letting the mad scientist play with the proverbial chaos emerald.

The only thing left was getting through the lock. Actually, that wouldn't be a problem. I have the number one natural enemy to locked doors everywhere, a block of C4 in the form of a claymore mine. And nobody took it from me.

All I need to do is open the block up with my leatherman, plant the primer and detonator, walk around the corner and blow the door off. After that I'll probably have about thirty seconds to a minute before the room gets swarmed, and I should be tucked into a cabinet with Luna and Senbei heading for my next unpleasant destination.

Silly combat cyborgs and their complacency in my inability to cause damage... You want to see just how capable a plain human can be? Just watch and learn suckers. Heheheheh...

Wait.

Did I just cackle maniacally? I shouldn't do that, especially when I'm sitting here in the middle of the people who can ruin everything.

Man, I hope Washu figures something out before I go insane.

More than I already am...

Seriously, I mean it.

I'm monologuing to myself about a plan that stands about as much success as any of the other hare-brained schemes I've concocted while in the middle of my 'opponents' while they stare at me with shit-eating grins-

Wait, why was Quattro staring at me like that? That's not her psycho-patented smile.

Then I noticed the reflection off her glasses, showing Sein to be-

"What are you doing?" I yanked my headphones off, spinning to face her. The blue-green haired cyborg girl yanked her hand back quickly as I did so.

"Nothing!" she chirped in faux innocence.

Sure you weren't... What were you doing girl? Using the deep diver skill to put your finger camera inside my headphones so you could listen?

"You want to listen?" I indicated the headphones. Sein hesitated then nodded.

"Here," I handed her the pair, which she glanced at for a moment, then stuck over her ears.

For a moment, nothing happened, then she started to smile and bob her head from side to side.

Well! I finally found something that shut up at least one of these cybernetic sugar rushes. Only eleven more to go.

If only I had about ten more Ipods...

Then I could just de-claw Jail's cybernetic army and pull the carpet right out from under him without anyone firing a shot.

Good luck with that scheme though... To pull something like that off, I'd need MONTHS of interaction time and access to all the junk media I could get my hands on. You know... Everything I don't have.

Still, the distraction proved effective. In showing favoritism to Sein by letting her listen to my Ipod, I generated a rather interesting reaction. Having been attempting this for the better part of a day, I recognized it immediately when it happened.

Jealousy...

The more vocal of the Numbers started clustering around me, each wanting a turn with the tiny little MP3 player. Eventually, even the less vocal ones had squeezed in. Amazing what a mere toy can do. After a while, the only ones who hadn't joined the 'fun' were still Tre, and Cinque. The former left with a scowl before too long, thanks to a video summon by Uno.

The latter continued to stare, ever so measuringly, seemingly content to watch. I'm not sure what it was with her, but I had the feeling she was watching me even more so than Quattro. If that were possible...

Ugh! That innocent smirk Quattro uses... Keeps sending chills up my spine.

The fun finally died when the unthinkable happened. My Ipod clicked off to a dead battery. And much as I'd like to say they weren't the Number's behaved just like your average teenager. Once the fun stopped, they had nothing to do with you.

I spent the next few hours pretty much alone, save for the comings and goings of one girl or another. Even Quattro had gotten up to take care of some 'chore' or another. Having pondered more on my escape plan, I decided it would be best to implement it when I was so blasted tired I could pass out standing up. If I could pass out standing up, much like I did at Hikawa, I could easily pass out even with the threat of pain bearing down on me.

So I waited, and I waited...

Now I understand why the military teaches you hurry up and wait...

The waiting also served another purpose. I needed to wait for the right moment to make my move. If I went to the lab too soon, I might very well blow the door down only to find a very ANGRY mad scientist on the other side.

Said opportunity finally occurred, I don't know when, but I had become so stiff from hanging around this dining area that I almost didn't want to move. I noticed Jail and Uno walk by the entrance discussing a screen floating along side them.

Immediately I made my move.

"Hey," I began, addressing the only other person in the room at this time, Dieci. "Where's the bathroom?"

The cyborg looked a bit surprised at being addressed, but after a moment, pointed at the exit.

"Down the corridor, turn right, second door on the left."

"Thanks," I nodded.

"You're wel-"

I was out of the room.

Senbei quietly lurking on my shoulder, Luna quickly on my tail, I made in the direction of the bathroom. Someone was tracking me. I just knew it. I had to make this look Legit, at least until I could make a beeline for the lab.

Stopping at the bathroom, I quickly tapped the door open, then walked inside and shut it. If anyone were watching my movements, I would have to wait a few minutes. Then move on.

Once out, I looked around, acting as if I had gotten turned around, then began wandering in the direction of the lab. I knew exactly where it was. But if I stumbled into one of the girls, I could feign confusion and just act lost. Plus, whoever had to be checking me over on the monitor once they realized I was on the move would simply see me wandering around aimlessly.

First I wandered the corridors, and then back tracked a couple halls through the 'bacta tank' area. Then followed a cross-hall until I reached the outside wall, turned left, and followed it past the entrance to the Cradle, stopping only for a moment to fish out my digital camera and snap a picture.

As I got closer to the lab, I started to get really nervous. I hadn't met any of the girls wandering around, or heard them. I hadn't tripped any alarms, or met any gadget drones on automatic security routes.

"Luna," I indicated quietly. "Keep an eye out for ANYTHING out of place."

The feline nodded as I approached the lab door. My instincts told me there was trouble brewing, and I knew they were right. As I remembered, the place did have intruder detection and security systems. If I hadn't triggered them yet, I knew what I was about to do would cause it shortly.

Yanking on my strap, I started freeing my Leatherman. I probably should have done this ahead of time, but dismantling a claymore mine might have generated questions.

"What are you doing?" Luna asked as she glanced up and down the corridor.

"I'm going to blow the door in and get the crystal," I whispered. "Then we're leaving, so stay close."

"It's unlocked," she hissed.

I stopped.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yes," Luna nodded at the door, where indeed, the lock indicator was green, not red. I guess since Jail rarely ever has any guests. He doesn't see a reason to lock down every room.

Or it was a trap, which would explain everything being 'too' easy.

Hope for the former, bet on the latter.

"Senbei," I whispered. In an instant, the demon-god zipped into sight on my shoulder.

"Yes?" he whispered back.

"Teleport inside," I indicated the lab. "Check and see if anyone's in there."

"Roger!" he saluted, and with a pop, was gone. There was a brief pause for several seconds before he reappeared.

"All clear," he indicated.

I thumbed the door button, opening the lab with a sickeningly louder hiss than I really wanted. Luna whisked inside first before I followed suit. With one last look around the halls, I shut the door behind us.

"Two minutes," I stated as soon as the door shut. "After that we assume the whole place comes down on us like nuclear hellfire, so let's find the crystal and bug out."

Immediately, we split up and began to search. The first place I looked for the rainbow crystal was the microscope-looking device the Doc had been using to examine it. It would have been nice if it had been there, but it wasn't. So I had to expand my search quickly.

Some of the lab equipment was still strewn about from Senbei's previous little act of wonton chaos, though the table was back where it belonged. There were also other things lying around. Bits of drone parts most likely so Jail could make adjustments for performance, the wrist blades that belonged to that one cyborg who's name I can never remember... Looking more closely, they weren't wrist blades at all, but had really strangely placed handles. Copout... Then there were Dido's beam sabers laying deactivated on another table. Heh... She must have taken my comment about getting them checked seriously.

Then there was- Hello...

I reached down to an item next to Dido's beam swords. What do we have here? Is this- IT IS! I grinned as I picked up what looked like a clawed glove off the table. It's the Doctor's power glove. I remember what he did with this baby. He tied Fate up with magical red strings. (Red strings of Fate? Punny...) then blasted her, then this same glove CAUGHT her giant beam sword attack.

I slipped the glove on over my right hand for a quick test fit. I couldn't use its powers since I was non-magical, but I could goof off for a second. Hell, if I make off with it, I deprive the Doc of his weapon until he could make a new one.

In fact, I should probably make off with anything and everything of value in here and sort it out later. But first...

"Any luck?" I asked my two associates.

"Nothing," Luna spat.

"Nada." Senbei looked downtrodden.

"Dammit!" I snapped. "Don't tell me he kept it on him, that means I'm going to have to find a way to-"

"A way to what?" Quattro's voice suddenly chirped from seemingly nowhere.

Oh fuck, I knew it was too easy.

There was a fuzzy green glow from the corner, and what had previously been an empty space dissolved into three distinctly feminine figures: Cinque, Tre, and Quattro.

"Shit!" I snapped, grabbing at the nearest item, which was one of Dido's beam sabers. "Senbei!"

"Roger!" Senbei grinned, turning to the three.

"No you will not," Cinque narrowed her eyes, and with a flash, Senbei was surrounded by dozens of highly explosive knife... thingies.

The demon-god paused to ascertain this threat for just a moment as I fumbled around with the beam saber looking for an on switch.

"I told you he would come back here," Quattro commented with just the slightest hint of a smile. "He wants that crystal. It was obvious."

"It's MINE!" I snapped in response to the psychopath.

Tre simply glared at me with her arms crossed.

"That belongs to the doctor now," she indicated in a cold tone.

"The HELL it does," I snarled. "That thing belongs back in its home reality."

"You should show some thanks to the Doctor's generosity," Cinque commented passively.

"You mean taking me prisoner in all but name?" I asked sarcastically. There was a pink flash as I found the button, igniting the beam saber. "I didn't ask to get teleported all over high hell and back again. I didn't ask to get deposited in the middle of your base, I didn't ask to get put in positions where I keep having to fight people."

"Then why do you have Dido's weapon?" Tre glared.

"Let's just say I'm a bit paranoid," I glared back. "I'm sure you can at least understand after what I've been through lately."

Threat assessment. Three combat cyborgs: One illusionist, one speed-blitzer, and one demolitions expert. Personal assessment, one talking cat, one demon-god with probability manipulating powers, and me, armed with an energy sword and a shotgun I had yet to reload but was useless against them anyway.

I'm so screwed.

No! Never say die. A cornered animal is always the most dangerous, and they still fear Senbei. Fear is a weapon in itself. Maybe I could make them fear ME.

"I won't let you hurt my sisters," Cinque raised a hand, exploding daggers between each finger. "You can give up now, or we'll have to force you."

How could I make them fear me? I'd have to be pretty damn powerful- Wait a second.

"Yeah," Quattro nodded, obviously enjoying the exchange. "If you give up now and leave the room, we might just forget this ever happened."

"No," I shook my head, glaring back. "I'm through giving up."

I hope this stunt worked; I hope Senbei gets the idea, or I'm in for a world of hurt.

"It's time I stopped goofing off," I continued, switching to a more menacing tone. "And gave you a taste of an S class demon's VENOM."

Upon saying that, I shot a quick glance at Senbei, making eye contact just long enough to understand.

Right on cue, came the burst of wind. Alright punks, it doesn't work so well on a goddess, but let's see how you like my Dark Schnieder impersonation when you can't tell it's fake.

"ZAAAZOOM ZAZAMOOOR! KAL-LUM TALMUT! HORRA!"

"MY GOD!" Quattro's eyes bugged out. Cinque and Tre shared equally shocked looks.

"BURNING IN THE DEPTHS OF THE PITS OF DARKNESS!" I snarled, the voice effect fully enveloping it and making it seem a hundred times more menacing. "LET THE FIRES OF HELL TAKE YOU!"

"It's got to be a trick!" Tre gasped, even though the look on her face disagreed with her words.

"LET THE FIRES BECOME MY SWORD AND STRIKE YOU DOWN!" I snarled, aiming my right hand at Cinque while switching Dido's beam saber to the left. While she was distracted by my 'attacking' her, Senbei would make his move without fear of getting blasted, then we could take Tre and Quattro out in seconds, run for our lives, and hope for the best.

"VENOM!"

'KABLAM!'

My ears popped, the room flared white and there was a burst of heat like I'd just opened an oven door. The glass around me shattered, and most importantly, Cinque went flying backwards through a half-molten steel door that failed under the force of her impact.

It was still for many moments while my ears continued to ring.

What... The fuck?

Next to me, all the explosive daggers that had been zeroed on Senbei dropped to the ground. The demon-god turned to me looking shocked.

"Did you?" I began.

Senbei shook his head.

I looked again, next to a shell-shocked Quattro and an aghast Tre, at the two-meter wide hole blown right through the wall, and it's glowing orange molten edges. There was a line of scorch marks traveling all the way from where I was standing, right out through the hole, to where Cinque lay against an equally blasted and slightly scorched rock wall.

Bleeding badly.

"FUCK!" I swore, my hearing slowly returning to the sound of alarms as I sprinted forward. I had no intention of killing anyone here except maybe Quattro, and even then that was only if I could catch her being psycho.

I dropped to a knee, planting Dido's saber into the floor and wincing at the feeling of superheated stone as I immediately started checking Cinque's vitals. She was breathing, she had a pulse, but she was out cold.

"Luna," I snapped as I twisted my backpack off and started unzipping it. "Senbei, elevate her feet."

I glanced again, spotting where the blood was coming from. Her arm was partially impaled on what was left of the door. Two wounds, one front, one back, both pretty nasty. I needed gauze wraps. Dammit, I wasn't qualified to play field medic for a combat cyborg. I was barely qualified to play medic period! Still, I did my best by yanking one of my clean brown shirts out of my backpack before pulling the metal fragment out of her arm.

"Feet Elevated," Luna advised as she hopped into my lap. "What happened?"

"Don't know," I replied. "Don't care. Can you tie a square knot? I always forget how."

"Cross it over the other way," Luna advised. "No, the OTHER-other way."

I followed the cat's instructions, trying my best to control the bleeding.

"What-" the girl began in front of me. "My barrier didn't even- What was?"

I looked up, noticing she had her eye open again.

"You're okay," I advised. "Just a little unexpected boom from the boom gods."

I placed a finger down and pulled the knot tight. The clawed glove made it easy to slip free of the final loop as I examined her for any other injuries. Despite what the blast had done to the doorframe, she didn't look more than a little banged up. Not even burned. Damn, combat cyborgs were tough.

"Why are you?" she began.

"Don't ask questions," I advised grabbing up and flicking off Dido's blade before stuffing it in my pocket. "I've only got weird answers."

"What happened?" Uno came running around the corner, Sein and Otto in tow.

"Holy shit!" Sein ran up and dropped to a knee. "Yeow! Hot!"

"High power explosion," I explained. "Her arm's pretty fucked up, so you might need to look at that first."

Uno looked at me measuringly for a moment, then at Cinque before continuing.

"Her damage isn't that bad," she appraised then turned to the other two. "Help me get her over to her tank."

Sein and Otto complied immediately, helping Uno carefully lift Cinque from her spot to carry her quickly down the corridor.

"Now can we figure out what happened?" Luna jumped up on my shoulder as I picked up my backpack. "One minute you're bluffing, and the next minute you blow a hole in the wall big enough to drive a car through."

"I'd like to know too," I stared. "Did her exploding daggers backfire?"

I looked around, spotting them all over the ground. No, if they'd gone off, she'd be missing her whole arm.

I turned to look at Tre as she walked out of the remains of the lab and over to me, looking down the hall just as Uno and the other two turned a corner. Then she looked at me, and I saw the tears in her eyes as she reared back with her fist. And...

"OH SHI-"

'CRACK!'

(WARNING: Do not attempt to follow the First-Aid procedures performed within this chapter. They are modified to fit the imperfect mental conditions of the character conducting them at the time. Serious injury or DEATH may occur if you attempt to remove foreign objects from major wounds without proper medical training. Not to mention anyone following instructions in a STORY has other issues...)

Post Story Notes:

Sleeping with the Girls volume one ends here.

The story will continue in volume II:

"Sleeping with the Girls: Chaos Theory"