-Zelda

"The nerve of him!" I muttered, sipping from my wine glass. Lance only let me have one bottle, but I was determined to get more before my husband retired to bed with me. "Thinking he can just butt into my personal life like that! It isn't any of his business! My relationship with my husband has nothing to do with him! I bet he fucks his wife all the time. He probably does it at night and in the morning! Disgusting!"

"That's cool," Lance said, no longer listening to me. "Can I go now?"

"And then he has the balls to change his mind and be jealous! Jealous! Can you believe it!? Was I jealous when he brought that whore to the castle, rubbing his hands all over her!?"

"Is that a rhetorical question? Because we both know the answer to that one."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Can I go now?" he asked again. I had already changed for bed, but I had called for Lance to return to the room after my maids had left. I hadn't wanted to be alone.

"Is my husband here yet?"

"No?"

"Then no. You are supposed to be guarding me. That's your job!"

Lance stared at me for a moment. "Are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"Well, I know how delicate females tend to get on this sort of subject."

I suddenly remembered the day after my wedding night. I had cried and cried. I was so young then and Lance, just as many years younger, had handled the situation with such surprising maturity. I waved my hand. "Of course not. I have done this all before. I'll just lay on my bed, like a piece of meat, staring up at the ceiling, until he falls asleep." I took another sip of wine. "This bottle is already half empty."

"Well, if you had slowed down it would have lasted longer."

"Can I have another one?"

"No. How about you get into bed, and just rest for a little while. Sleep off a little of all that," he motioned to the wine bottle.

I started to pout. "I'm not drunk. And my husband isn't here yet."

"Maybe he forgot about it."

"You think so?" I said in relief.

"No, but I want to leave now." Lance carefully pulled my glass out of my hand. "You need to go to bed." He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me towards the bed. "I'm going to be right outside the door, so if anything really goes wrong, you can call for me. Well, at least until my shifts done. Then you're on your own."

I pouted at him some more. Maybe I was a tad tipsy. "It's not even all that late yet."

He pulled the covers of the bed down and pushed me onto it. "Maybe so, but I don't want to be around you. The sooner you go to bed, the sooner I can leave." He went to the bathroom where he quickly dumped the contents of my glass in the sink and filled it with water instead. He sat it on my nightstand. "Drink that."

"I'm not drunk!"

"I'm sure you're not." He turned on the lamp. "You're just nervous."

"I'm not that either."

"Now, just lay here and relax for a little while," he dug under my pillow where I kept a book hidden. "Here's your nasty romance book," He handed it to me. "Don't look at me like that."

"Oh, Lance, but-"

"No, no, no, no... You drink your water. Read a little. I'm leaving."

"Can you at least send Annabell in?"

"Yes!" he said in great relief. "Annabell will be here, right away. But I'm leaving, so goodbye."

"Goodbye," and I think he winced at how pleasant my voice was.

Annabell let me have another bottle of wine, which I hid under my bed with the other half empty one. I wasn't drunk. Well, I wasn't too drunk. And as I began to read, the effects of the alcohol wore off some and I eventually dozed to sleep.

When my husband burst into the room, I had completely forgotten the conversation I had with Link, and stared uncomprehending at the man who was now breathing hard as if he had run the way up to the eighth story all at once.

He undid something around his waist and tossed it loudly on top of my bed stand. It was the scabbard and knife that sometimes he wore as decoration. I doubted the thing was even still sharp, but I did know that it did not belong on my bed stand. I looked up at him, greeting him with a warning in my voice. "Hello, Dear."

"I am here for bed," he replied, without his usual greeting.

"Well I can see that."

He turned off my lamp. I wasn't actually using it anymore, since the book I had been reading was long forgotten, but it was very ballsy of him to turn it off anyway. It was my lamp.

I rolled to my side with a sigh, burrowing my arms underneath my pillow.

"Zelda, you are not going to sleep just yet!" He said, loosing his collar as if he was having trouble breathing. Then he put his hands on his hips and stared defiantly out the window.

I moved my head to glare at him. "I am not?"

"Well, what I mean to say is, I'm not in the bed yet, so..."

"Then hurry up. I'm tired!" I rested my groggy head back down, only half caring about his sudden rudeness.

He began to undress himself where he was standing, throwing each item of clothing on the floor. When he noticed that I had opened my eyes at the commotion, he starting throwing his clothing even more violently, kicking them away, until he stood there, completely nude, his hands on his hips.

I sat up, suddenly remembering the reason for my husband's odd behavior, and the horrible advice Link must have given him. "Are-Are you alright, dear?" I asked anyway, holding a hand up to block my view of his lower half.

"The real question is, why aren't you naked as well!" he ordered.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean," he said, far more nervously. "It's a warmer night, and maybe you would be more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable how I am now."

"Very well," he scooted himself around the foot of the bed before climbing in with me. I didn't roll away from him because I was uncomfortable leaving my backside unprotected. I didn't particularly want to face him either, so I just stayed sitting up, facing straight ahead.

My husband sat on his own space of the bed as well, though he was staring at me. "You know dear, I had a fabulous talk with the Hero today."

Oh, Goddesses. Here we go. I realized I was entirely not drunk enough for this.

"Oh?" I reached under the bed to pour myself a glass. My husband wasn't the least bit surprised to see me hiding the bottle underneath the bed.

"He's quite a fascinating man! He may not talk much, but you get the sense anyway. I mean just look at him, wearing those strange clothes. And looking at his eyes, you feel like he's seen things. Also, appearance aside, have you seen the way he shoots?!"

"Yes," I replied flatly, deciding to take a swig from the actual bottle instead of the glass. My husband didn't pay attention to it. No surprise that he forgot I saw the Hero shoot.

"Oh yes, you were there for that! And how he rides that wild horse of his, and the way he knows how to-"

"Darling," I interrupted, setting the glass and bottle on the bed stand. "Do you ever think that maybe you spend too much time with the Hero?"

"Why, no. I've never thought about it. Is that even a thing, spending too much time with someone?"

"Yes," I answered.

The King thought hard. "No, I don't think there's a problem." I stared harder at him, as if my look would change his mind. Often times it did. "Oh, are you referring to yourself and Lance? Don't worry, we are no where near that stage of bickering yet."

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm saying maybe the Hero's talent is being wasted by playing games all day!"

"Oh..." he said, looking at me knowingly and I hated it. He elbowed my side. "You're jealous."

"What?"

"I get the great legendary hero as a bodyguard, and you have Mr. Sarcastic Pants. I bet Lance doesn't play any games with you."

"I don't want to play games!"

"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss!" He gave me a one armed hug. "That's why you're always so unhappy."

I gasped. He had never so bluntly remarked at my behavior in that way, and I felt myself grow suddenly angry, even if it was only teasing. "You know he's only hanging out with you because he feels sorry for you!" I hadn't really meant to say it. It was too mean.

"Well, I'm sure Lance just adores spending time with you! That's why he's always so relieved to see me coming to bed, because he doesn't have to worry about you sending for him again!"

"I don't care how Lance feels about me. He is to do his job."

"Is it his job to smuggle wine bottles into the room, because if you ask me, that seems like a waste of his skills."

"Fine," I hissed. "Keep your hero!"

"So, you are admitting to your jealously?"

"I am not!"

"Then you just can't stand to see me happy, is that it?"

"Oh please, I could care less for your little man crush on the Hero."

"He is rather cute, now isn't he?"

"And what is that suppose to imply?!"

"I'm not implying anything."

"You think he's cute!?"

"I said he was cute, not that I think he's cute!"

"Saying something means you were thinking it!"

"I said it because I was implying that maybe you thought he was cute, but I didn't want to make you go off all crazy like you are now!" He took a breath. "I mean it's all right. I can't see you enjoying staring at Lance all day. I can understand why you're jealous. I get to look at the Hero all the time."

"What do you mean by looking at him?!"

"Oh for goodness sake, I'm not in love with him!"

"Are you sure? The way you talk about him all the time, nonstop! Maybe you should just go to bed with him!" I saw the horror cross his face at my accusation. He seemed to have a loss of words for a moment, before he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him.

"Dammit, woman! You are leading me off on the subject, no more! We are going to have intercourse tonight, so are you going to take that silly gown off, or should I?"

I was shocked. I stared at him for a long time as I tried to comprehend if he had really just spoke to me so.

"I'm sorry," he said, back to his nervousness, but I slipped off the night gown anyway. "Well," he started awkwardly, now that I was sitting naked in front of him. "Now that's settled... should I..."

"Yes," I answered him.

Another awkward moment. "Did you want to do it in a different way?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

I sighed. Neither of us were brave enough to make the first move. It really wasn't a surprise that this sort of thing happened so rarely. Actually, it was a surprise that it happened at all.

My gaze wandered around the room, settling on the open doorway of the bathroom. I remembered being with Link in that bathroom. I remembered being with him here on this bed.

I turned back to my husband who was now watching me apprehensively. I couldn't bring myself to kiss him on the mouth. When I thought about it, I don't think I ever had. I studied the man who was not Link. As I leaned in closer to him, he did not smell like trees or river water, but of cologne and soap. I leaned over his shoulder, closed my eyes and laid a gentle kiss on his skin. The shoulder wasn't as muscular or as strong as Link's, but the feeling of skin against my mouth was pretty much the same.

My husband seemed bewildered at my action, becoming still as a statue. His skin pricked with goosebumps as I laid another kiss on his neck. I straightened and caught his amazed brown eyes in mine, before I looked away, laying myself on my back for him. I kept my gaze on the bathroom as he climbed over me.

I could see Link in front of the sink, soaking wet, turning modestly away from me to take off his shirt. I remembered watching the shock of skin slowly revealing its self. I thought of the scars patterning his back, some looking deep into his flesh, the muscles contracting and then straightening as he stood more upright. I could not forget his face when he finally looked at me, realizing that we were alone, the corner of his mouth pulling his lips into an easy grin, the blue of his eyes.

My husband was having a hard time getting inside me and I was annoyed that I had to guide him. It was like he forgot how every time we had to do this again.

Those blue eyes had been locked on mine before he had pushed inside me. They were filled with such devotion, such longing. They were filled with so much love.

I love you.

His words, thick and mumbled, had fallen out of his mouth, almost as if by accident. The words had so much weight to them that I thought I could physically feel them drop out of his mouth and hit me in the chest.

I love you.

"I love you," I said.

My husband stopped what he was doing for a moment. "I love you, too," but the statement was unsure and I knew he didn't mean it. It was alright. I didn't mean it either.

I tried to ignore the prickling of his mustache against my neck. I wondered to myself if I enjoyed any of this. Did I feel anything? Someone going in and out of me used to disgust me. The noise of it, the sensation, used to make me want to throw up. It was so unsettling to me.

It didn't upset me with Link. I didn't think about that when he did it. All I could feel was pleasure, happiness and his love. But you didn't need to be in love to feel pleasure.

I wrapped my arms around my husband. I needed to have something to hold on to, so my sadness wouldn't sweep me away. I knew my husband thought strange of my behavior, but I needed some sort of comfort. I thought, if I could make him go faster, maybe I could even enjoy it a little. Maybe it could turn into something that wasn't so bad.

I tried to get him to move faster without actually telling him to. I couldn't bring myself to speak at all. Frustrated, I pushed him off of me and rolled over onto him. He was so surprised that he let out a startled shout. I couldn't look at his face, ashamed of the action, so I lightly covered his head with a pillow. I moved so I could feel something. I didn't really know what sort of satisfaction I was looking for, because when I found it, it did not give me the peace I had hoped for.

I collapsed on top of him with a cry, clinging to him. He was warm. I felt him finally move the pillow aside, placing his hands tentatively on my shoulders, but he only let them stay for a moment before he began to gently push me off of him.

"That was different," he murmured very quietly.

"I guess so."

"If you don't mind," the words came out breathless. "I think I would like to take a bath before sleep. Unless of course you would like to go first."

"N-no. Go ahead." I returned to my side of the bed, curling up into a ball as he left. I felt alone as I listened to him run the water. As I clutched my pillow, tears slowly began to fall. I didn't understand why I felt so utterly empty. I was miserable, and I would most likely be miserable for the rest of my life. Miserable until I would be reborn to be miserable again.

I sobbed.

There was knocking on the door. "Lance..." the hushed voice begged. "Lance, I need you."

"Oh, no! No, no, no! Do you know what time it is? It's one in the morning. Do you know when I get off? One in the morning. Anything you need, you can talk to my replacement. He's coming right over ther-Dammit! Get back here you little fucker!"

"But, Lance I need you. She's crying and I can't make her stop."

"Just say something nice to her!"

"I tried that, and she just brandished her bottle at me!"

I heard a loud sigh. "I should have known that leaving that in there was a bad idea."

"Oh, good," my husband said, as if Lance had already agreed to speak with me. "I'll be in my study if you need me. If I don't answer the door though, I've fallen asleep."

The door closed. All was quiet for a moment, except for my soft sobs, until I heard Lance move across the room to stand over me. "You're alright," he said softly.

The unusual tenderness in his voice just made me sob harder. "How can he love me?!" My voice was muffled in my pillow. "I'm disgusting. I have sex with other men, and he shouldn't just forgive me because it's the right thing to do. If I did the right thing, I would have never let myself be with him in the first place!"

"Where did this other bottle come from?" Lance mused, noticing the extra wine bottle on my bed stand before coming up with the answer himself. "Annabell..."

"It's like I cheated on him!"

"The King?"

"No, Link!"

"Okay, you're not even with Link for starts. You're getting yourself all worked up for nothing."

"Why are you even here?" I sniffed. "It's past one."

"You're right. It is past one. And the longer I stand here watching you cry pitifully into your pillow, the more of my precious time is gone. I get five hours. Five hours to do whatever I please."

I huffed into my pillow. "Like you have anything else to do anyway."

"I sleep! Against all popular belief, I'm actually not immortal and have humanly needs. Sometimes I even go to the bathroom!"

I sobbed. "You're right. Go ahead and leave," and I cried harder.

I felt Lance roll his eyes rather than saw it, and he muttered something to himself as he walked to the foot of my bed. "Okay, put some clothes on and maybe I'll stay a bit longer." He picked up my nightgown with his thumb and forefinger like it was something poisonous and set it down over my back.

I waited for him to turn around before I hastily pulled it over my head. "Okay," I croaked. "I'm decent."

He turned around. "See? You look better already!"

I knew he was lying. My lips were chapped, my face must have still been red and blotchy, and some of my hair was stuck to my cheeks where my tears had dried. I sniffed. "Thank you... What's wrong with me?"

"You want me to go through the whole list?"

I hugged my knees, pressing my face into them. "It's just, he left as soon as it was over. He wouldn't even stay in the bed with me. I guess I can understand why no one likes being around me."

"Link seems to like you enough."

My eyes started to re-water at the mention of his name.

"Dammit..."

"Are you going to leave?"

"You mean, back to my warm, inviting bed?"

I nodded my head.

"No..." he sighed, before falling onto the floor, his back against the bed. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

"Thank yo-"

"Go to sleep."

I pulled the covers back over me, curling around my pillow and closed my tear strained eyes.

When I woke up, I wasn't surprised to see my husband not in bed with me, but I was surprised to see a mop of hair resting against the edge of the mattress.

Lance was comatose, an empty bottle that I didn't remember finishing resting against his thigh. "Lance?" I whispered to him, yet he did not stir. I held part of my blanket up to my chest as I bent down closer to him. "Lance!" When that didn't seem to work either I took a finger and pushed him in the head. He fell completely over. I had a fleeting thought that he was dead before he rolled to his feet faster than any man so gangly should.

His eyes went around the room quickly for danger before they landed on me. "Oh fuck! Did we have sex?!"

"No, you buffoon!" I said darkly. "You must have fallen asleep in my room."

"Sweet Goddesses," he panted, clutching his chest. "Okay, let me get my heart rate down before I pass out."

I rolled my eyes before falling back down on my bed. My thoughts went to the disaster that was last night. "Lance, come over here."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Do you still have that little notebook with the calender in it?"

"Why?"

"I want to know if last night was worth it or not!"

He pulled out the little book and I grabbed it, immediately flipping through it.

"Whoa, whoa," he snatched the book away from me. "Let me find it for you first so you don't accidentally read something you shouldn't."

"What else is written in it?"

"Important secret bodyguard stuff," he told me, before finding the current month and handing it to me. He did not lift his fingers from the book though, paranoid that I might change the page.

I brought the notebook closer to my face so I could read it. "Your side notes are not amusing," I said. He grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"What are you looking at anyway?"

"Shoot!" I let go of the book. I went to feel my forehead, changing my mind, and pressing it with Lance's hand instead. "Does it feel like I'm ovulating?"

Lance ripped his hand away from mine. "Ew! Gross!"

"It's already a day past the middle of the cycle!"

"What does that even mean!?"

"It means I've probably already started ovulating."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"No, it takes a few days for the sperm to reach the egg and by the time it gets there, I'll probably be done ovulating, if I'm not done already, and the egg will be gone."

"I guess you learn something new everyday... Not that I wanted to."

"It would have been better if I had slept with my husband earlier in the week."

"You mean... earlier in the week when you attacked Link in the library?"

My eyes widened and I gasped as my hands flew to my mouth. "Oh, no..." My voice was so quiet from the lack of air, that all of a sudden I didn't have, and I felt myself grow pale.

"Well he pulled out, didn't he?"

"Like that even matters!" I cried, throwing my arms in the air.

"It doesn't?"

"Oh, you are such a man! Nayru, what am I going to do?!" I covered my face with my hands again.

"Oh well, right?"

I looked up to glare at him. "Oh, well!? Are you smirking!? Do you think this is funny!?

"Well, I wouldn't say funny, but-"

"I swear to hell, that if you think this is amusing-"

"Okay, Okay. It's not that I think this whole thing is funny. You're probably only going to freak out more, but I'm winning."

"Winning what!?" and my voice was on the verge of screaming.

"The bet."

"What bet!? Who else even knows!?"

"Who do you think?"

I tried to calm myself down. "The maids must know, but they gossip so much, no one would ever take them seriously."

"Right. The maids. Specifically, Annabell, aka: The Wretched Cheating Whore who gave you an extra bottle of wine!" He pointed to the bottle on the floor theatrically. "She thought she had me! Her having the same cycle as yours and knowing more about that ovary crap, she was sure you would conceive the King's baby last night! She was trying to make sure you went through with it by getting you more drunk. But she was apparently wrong. Link is more lucky. I'm gonna win!"

I stared at Lance for what must have been a whole minute. Then I screamed at him. "ANNABELL!?"

"Yes, we should have a talk with her about this."

"YOU TOO!"

"But come on, you expect it from me!" I stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. "So you're gonna pout, now? You know, the King was right. Not playing any games does make you a sourpuss."

"WHAT?!" I screamed back at him. "You were listening?!"

"I can hear everything that goes on in this room! You know that." I felt suddenly embarrassed. It wasn't something I always kept in mind. He had probably heard Link and I in the library as well. He still hadn't stopped it. All for that stupid bet! "If you're so set against not having Link's kid, then maybe you should plan things out better."

"I did have a plan. To not be alone with him. And then you forced me to be alone with him!"

"Please, you would have done him right in front of me if you had to. You work yourself up so much, going on about how you won't give yourself an inch, to the point where you go absolutely crazy and have no control whatsoever and shit happens!"

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe you should just let yourself see him." I opened the bathroom door to glare at Lance. "Letting yourself see him every once in a while would let you be a little happy. And if you're not so miserable, you won't jump him every time you do see him."

"You want me to see him, even though the much obvious and safest decision would be to cut off ties from him all together?"

"Yes?"

"You're just saying this so that you can win your stupid little bet!"

"No, that's only part of the reason!"

"For the love of-! Call off this bet!"

"Let me think about that... Nope!" He pipped up brightly, hands on his hips and a grin from ear to ear. "This bet was fabricated during the wee hours of my freedom. And those hours are mine. It's part of my personal life. It's off limits to you."

I was so angry that I could feel my face burn all the way to the tips of my ears. "If you won't call off the bet," I said menacingly.

"You'll replace me with Link? We all know that's not gonna happen."

"No. It's six o'clock now," I said checking the clock quickly first. "You're working for me now, and I'm ordering you to do this for me," I presented the bit of tissue paper that was in my hand, the reason why I had gone to the bathroom.

"What is that?"

"This is cervical mucus."

"What mucus?" and it sounded like his voice rose several octaves.

"It's still fresh. I want you to check the consistency of it for me. You stretch it between your forefinger and thumb. If the stream can get to be an inch long before it breaks, you know you're just about to ovulate."

I think Lance's face actually turned green. "Gah! Are you for real!?"

"Of course I am." I took a step closer to him, effectively blocking him from the door so he couldn't escape, my arm outstretched in his direction.

"Farore, you're crazy! Get away from me!" I backed him up until he dashed right out of the room onto the balcony. "Seriously! Get away from me! I'll jump! I'll kill myself!" He was on the banister, the last and farthest place he could get from me.

"Come on, now. Wouldn't you much rather call off the bet than die?"

"Fine, I call off the bet! Just don't touch me with that stuff!"

I started to cackle.

"What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"I only sneezed in it!" I said in between my laughter.

"Wha?"

"Your face!" I tossed the tissue at him, and he still jumped away from it like it was something terrifying. I could play games too.

"You evil bitch!"

I fell to my knees and laughed for a long time.

"Don't tell him what it is! Let him figure it out!" Lance pleaded as we watched Link try to decipher my ovulation chart. I rolled my eyes at him. There was no way Link would ever figure out what he was looking at without help. Though I couldn't help, but blush a bit when Link took a look at the chart himself, his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. I also hadn't been able to make my stomach settle since I first watched him enter the room, slightly nervous with himself like he was in trouble.

He looked up with his confused, yet still handsome face. "I don't know what this means," he admitted.

"Oh, come on! Try harder!" Lance egged him on.

"Ignore him," I said. "Link, we have a problem," I started. He kept his eyes on me, face masked which meant he was worried, but his eyes never left mine. He thought I was going to say something terrible to him, like send him far, far away. Yet his eyes were so trusting, and he was going to accept anything I was going to say to him. "We can't let the incidents we've been having continue. What you're looking at is a chart of my ovulating cycle. It appears, a few days ago, was the optimal time for me to conceive."

Link stared at me for a long time. "Are you pregnant?" he asked very seriously.

"I don't know yet."

"With who's child?" and the question was just slightly too eager.

"I don't know," I repeated, almost annoyed. "Hopefully, not yours. Since I can't trust either of us to be around the other, I'm forbidding us to see each other during any days that I circled on this chart. It's too close to when I'm ovulating."

"But, today is okay, right?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, but that's not any sort of invitations to-"

"I know, I know." He smiled sincerely at me. "Just get to see you." He was so content with something so simple. I felt my heart melt a little.

"Tell him about the vagina mucus!"

"No!" I snapped at Lance.

"No, do it! Tell him!" He turned to Link. "Did you know that she's disgusting? She is the most vile, nastiest being in the entire world!"

"Lance, just forget about it!" I found myself suddenly embarrassed. My mucus, no matter where it had come from, wasn't something I really wanted Link to know about.

"She doesn't have to tell me," Link said quickly. "It's alright." His own face was slightly blushing as well, making him look more like a boy than a man.

"Lance, go wait outside."

"Oh, so now you're gonna-"

"He'll be out in less than a minute! I just want to say one thing to him with out you interrupting me every five seconds!"

We all stood up and I shooed Lance out the door before looking at Link.

Link was starring at me hard, analyzing every inch of my face. "Are you alright? I know last night must have been-"

I was able to nod my head once before I flung my arms around him. I had ment to embrace him for only a moment. Just to make sure I remembered how he felt in my arms. It was meant to be a quick, casual thing, though I was never good at being casual. Link was momentarily surprised at the act, before he wrapped one arm around my waste tightly, the other gently pushing my head into his chest. I had forgotten what it was like to be held. It was wonderful. I held him tightly for another few precious seconds, before I heard the library door start to open.

Pulling away quickly, I said a short goodbye, turning away from him. I stayed facing away until I heard him leave.