Isabelle Price-18 (D1F)

I'm starting to wish I had just swallowed my pride and told my mom and step-dad, not to mention my 'loving fiance' Princeton, just how thoroughly disgusted I really was by the very idea of marrying that lecherous old pervert. I mean sure they would have been pissed. Princeton probably would have demanded that he be immediately reimbursed for all of the money he spent on me and our 'dream wedding'. And there's a pretty good chance that my mom would have called me every dirty name she could think of before finally throwing my 'ungrateful ass' out of 'her' house.

But even with all of that being said, and about ninety-nine percent of it all but certain to have happened, which would have undoubtedly turned my whole world upside down in the blink of an eye, I can't help but feel that life would have been preferable to the one I'm currently living. Because even though starting over in life while trying to find a way to survive on the 'mean' streets of One would have been hard, if not hell on Earth, it still would have been manageable. Especially for someone that's as smart, sophisticated, and attractive as I am.

But that's not the route I decided to take. No, instead, I just had to go ahead and gamble everything, my past, my present, my future, my entire life, on the one in a million crapshoot that is the Hunger Games. And while that gamble seemed like a good one to take at the time, especially since I would rather die a thousand deaths then spend one second of my life as Princeton's 'loving' and 'devoted' wife. But now that I've had some time to really sit down and think about things, I'm really starting to wonder if the only reason I thought that was the case was that I was actually stupid enough to think that volunteering was the only way I could take back control of my life.

Then again, I guess there's really no point in me dwelling on any of this stuff now. I mean, it's not like pissing and moaning about it is actually going to change anything at this point. I'm stuck with my current situation, regardless of whether I like it as much as I thought I would, and that's really all there is to it now.

So why can't I stop thinking about this and fall the freak asleep already?! I mean, I've been trying for the better part of the last three hours and I'm no closer to falling asleep now then I was when I first started trying to do so. And as if that wasn't bad enough, every time I close my eyes, the only things I can seem to see are the happy and smiling face of the depraved pervert I volunteered to get away from, my stupidly overbearing and money hungry parents, and the bank-breaking fairy-tale wedding that the three of them spent months planning.

Hell, I can't even force myself to focus on the non-personal stuff, like why it's important for me to establish dominance over the rest of the career pack as early as I possibly can. And we spent the better part of six or so hours talking about this stuff, and the only reason we stopped was that Hank got tired of me dozing off while he was talking. Which is super embarrassing for me in of itself. But since it can also be combined with my current inability to actually fall asleep again, now that I have the chance to do so without pissing off my mentor, it's crossed the line from regular old embarrassing, to super annoying and more than a little bit infuriating.

But, much like everything else I can't seem to stop thinking about, there really is no good reason for me to be dwelling on this. Is it annoying that I can't seem to fall asleep despite being physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, yes? Is it just as annoying that every time I close my eyes and try to fall asleep I'm greeted by the face of the man I volunteered for the Games to get away from, of course, it is? But none of that does, or at the very least should, matter to me right now.

No, the only thing I should be focused on right now is getting myself ready for the day ahead. And seeing as sleep, which would obviously be the best thing for me right now, simply refuses to come. I might as well do the next best thing and start getting my mind into the kind of place it's going to need to be if I'm going to survive an entire day of being judged like a piece of meat by all of the people in the Capitol with no real sleep. The thought of which almost makes the idea of saying 'I do' to Princeton bearable by comparison…Almost…

Joss Stellan-16 (D3M)

I still don't know why I even bothered trying to fall asleep in the first place.

I understand that I need to sleep, especially if I'm going to have the energy I need to make it through today's festivities. Which means that I also understand why Quanta and Sagitarria forced me to come in my room and at least try to get some sleep instead of just leaving me alone and letting me continue to read in peace like I wanted them too. But me understanding why they sent me to bed, and actually being able to take advantage of the situation and fall asleep, which is the whole reason they sent me to bed in the first place, are two totally different things.

The fact that at this point I would really rather not sleep at all, or at the very least keep any sleeping I absolutely have to do to the absolute lowest level that is humanly possible, just makes it that much easier for me to continue fighting the good fight against the inevitable. Because in my heart of hearts I know, as much as I would rather not admit it, I'm eventually going to fall asleep. And try as I might, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

After all, the fact that I might only have a few more days of life left to live, does nothing to change the fact that at some point, exhaustion, which has never lost a fight in its entire life, is going to do what it does best and win our little fight. And when it does, I'm going to have to sleep.

Of course, there is a downside to this whole forcing myself to stay awake for as long as I possibly can think, and I'm not just referring to the fact that when I finally do crash I'm going to crash super-duper hard. No, the main downside to all of this is that me being awake right now, when everything is fairly quiet and everyone else on the train that can talk to me is fast asleep, is that it gives me plenty of time to dwell on all of the stupid little mistakes I've made. And it's not just the ones from today that are running through my mind either.

Because in addition to having all of the dumb things I did and said today playing on repeat in my head, which I sort of expected to happen, what with how fresh all of that stuff is in my mind and what not. I'm also dealing with the slow but steady trickle of sixteen-years worth of other memories that seem to be intermingling with my fresh memories at random. Which is all sorts of annoying for all sorts of super stupid and obvious reasons.

I mean seriously, when I was growing up, my parents always told me that my life would flash before my eyes when I was about to die. I mean, that's supposed to be the tell-tale sign that lets you know it's about to happen. So I can't for the life of me figure out why it's happening to me now. Especially since I've got at least a week until I even really have to start thinking about dying.

Then again, and I absolutely loathe having to even think this, let alone admit it, but it's not like I actually have anything better to do right now. I mean, I would obviously rather not dwell on each and every stupid little mistake I've ever made, especially since I've apparently made a whole bunch more of them than I ever dreamed possible. But there are also much worse things that I could be thinking about. And as long as I'm not thinking about them, I guess I should count that as a small symbolic win of sorts.

I just hope someone on this train is an early riser. Because if I have to wait until late into the morning, or god forbid early in the afternoon, for someone who can talk back to me to wake up so that I can socialize with them. I'm going to lose my ever loving freaking mind….

Cliff Roseo-17 (D5M)

Part of me wishes I had been a bit more open and honest with everyone that visited me before I left for the Capitol. I mean, there is a part of me that honestly believes that I said everything I actually wanted and needed to say. But the more time I have to think about how I left things, especially with my dad, nevermind Aya, the more I realize that there really was so much more I could, and in the end should, have shared with the two of them.

Would it really have killed me to tell my dad just how much I love and respect him and everything he's done for me? Would it have been so terrible if I had just opened up and told Aya that part of the reason I volunteered for the Games was the winning them was the only way I could ever possibly afford to give her and her siblings the life she and they so rightly deserve? I mean, saying all of that stuff might have made both of them, not to mention me, feel even worse about my decision to volunteer then we already did, but I'm going to feel a thousand times worse about it if I die without getting the chance to tell them.

Stop it, Cliff! Just...Just stop it….OK? I mean seriously, what good could possibly come out of thinking about this kind of stuff now? It's not like brooding over all the super important and personal things I should have told the people I love that I went ahead and left unsaid or anything. So there's no reason, none whatsoever, for me to sit here and do just that. Especially not when I can, and in all reality should, be focusing on doing everything in my power to make sure I make it back to Five so I can fix my stupid mistake.

Of course if saying, or in my case thinking, something was enough to make it a reality I would never have needed to put myself in this situation in the first place. And since I know for a fact I'm not going to be able to focus on anything else except what I oh so stupidly left unsaid, at least as long as I'm laying here in bed, in the dark, staring up at the ceiling like some sort of space cadet, I might as well get up and find something, really anything, else to do on this train to take my mind off that stuff.

So that's exactly what I'm going to do. And after spending the better part of the next five minutes fumbling around in the dark in search of my shirt and pants, which I had haphazardly tossed into separate corners of my room after Atlas sent me to bed a few hours ago. I quietly slip out of my room and tiptoe past the other sleeping rooms and into the car that Atlas referred to as the "parlor," in search of something to take my mind off of things.

"Having trouble sleeping, Cliff?"

OK, so I'm not normally an easily startled person. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I can count the number of times I've ever actually been startled on one hand and still have a finger or two left over. So I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that hearing a voice, even one as quiet as the one I just heard, when I honestly thought that everyone was still asleep, scares the ever-loving crap out of me. In fact, and I'm not the least bit proud that I actually have to admit this, even if it is just to myself, I was so startled that I actually jumped back and yelped a little under my breath. While Nikolai, who is visibly proud of the fact that he just scared me half to death, slides out of the shadows and struts over to where I'm still white knuckling the backside of an overstuffed armchair.

"For the love of….You scared the crap out of me Nikolai!"

"I can see that Cliff. But that doesn't answer my question either."

I was hoping he'd miss that part, especially since I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to answer his question. I mean, do I tell him the truth, that I'm up and about because I'm an emotional mess and needed to clear my head before I drove myself crazy? Or should I try and make something up and hope he's groggy enough to buy it long enough for me to get out of here?

Fortunately, or it could be, unfortunately, depending on how all of this ends up playing out in the end, I never actually have to make a decision one way or the other. Because before I really get the chance to do so, Nikolai has slid around me and my chair, which I still have one heck of a death grip on, scooped up a half-empty bottle of what I think is bourbon and an empty, and I assume clean, glass, and quietly made his way back to his shadow shrouded table near the compartment door. From there, he quickly and expertly pours himself two glasses of whatever it was he had in the bottle, before passively motioning for me to come and join him.

"I can see the gears inside your head turning. But I'm going to go ahead and assume that your lack of a response means that you haven't quite settled on an answer that you think is believable enough for me to buy that also doesn't give away the real reason that you're up.

"So, why don't you go ahead and join me for a drink. You can sit there and listen to me yammer on for a minute or two about why I'm still awake. And hopefully, by the time I'm done, you'll have come up with your answer.

"Sound good?"

You see, he made that sound like it was a question, but I get the feeling that it was really anything but. And so, with that in mind, I really don't see how I can not take him up on his offer.

"Well if you're going to insist."

"Oh, I am."

"Then I guess I really don't have a choice. But if it's all the same to you, is there any way I can get something else to drink? My dad made me promise never to drink alcohol. He says it's a weak man's refuge and that drinking it makes you less of a man.

"No offense."

"None taken. In fact, not only is your dad right, at least for the most part.

"Of course if he had done and seen the kind of things that I have, he might realize that any refuge, even a weak man's refuge, can be incredibly inviting under the right circumstances."

"See I don't buy that though.

"I mean, my dad has been through hell in his life and he doesn't need to drown his memories in booze to deal with them."

"That's because your dad is a very strong-willed and lucky man."

"I don't buy that either Nikolai.

"I mean, you may have done some things in your life that you're not proud of, but you've also done a lot of good that you don't seem to be giving yourself enough credit for.

"You paid to rebuild the orphanage after it burned down. You donate money to the District Food Bank so they can buy food. Heck, you're personally supporting the families of five of your fallen tributes."

"None of that makes me a good man Cliff.

"At best it makes me a very remorseful and penitent sinner that's trying to use some of the blood money I won for killing kids to deal with my guilt."

"What makes you say that Nikolai?"

"The fact that good people are incapable of winning the Hunger Games, Cliff. They just are.

"I mean I hate to say this, I really do, but good people, truly good people, just aren't built to make it through that kind of hell in one piece.

"And at the end of the day, you're going to have to stop being the good person you want to be, and start being the self-centered child killer that's willing to do anything he has to do to survive.

"Because those are the only kind of people that don't come home from the arena in a bag or a box."

I don't...I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to that either.

"I know that sounds harsh, but it's like I told you and Nira earlier. I don't have time to hold your hands through any of this.

"And at the end of the day, all I can do is tell you what you need to do to put yourself in the best possible position to survive. You're the one that has to decide if the price of survival is worth paying..."

Julie van Vigne-12 (D7F)

"No….No stop it….Stay away from me….Please….Please….MOMMY...MOMMY WHERE ARE YOU!"

"What's wrong Julie?!"

"I don't...I don't know where I am and I can't find my mommy!

"Who are...Who are you?"

"I'm James, your mentor."

"My...My what?"

"Your mentor, Julie. You know, the guy whose job it is to make sure you make it out of the Hunger Games and back to your family in one piece."

I don't...I don't know what this guy is talking about. I mean, I kind of remember him talking to me about some stuff before I fell asleep. I think he might have even been the nice man who told me the story about the three fairy princesses that actually put me to sleep…

Wait a second, that was him! Now I remember. He's James, the nice man from back home who's going to take care of me while I'm visiting the Capitol.

"I'm sorry James. I don't...I don't…"

"You don't what Julie?"

"I don't...I don't know what happened. One second I was fine and the next I wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, one second I was listening to you tell me a story and the next I was in this dark place that was full of scary looking monsters that were chasing me. And running as fast as I could, trying to find my mommy or someone else, but I tripped. And then one of the monsters caught up to me and jumped on my back and bit down on the back of my neck and started pulling my skin off my body..."

"It sounds like you had one heck of a nightmare there kiddo. Are you ok?"

"I think so. I mean, I don't think I had an accident or anything like that. But I don't...I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep unless I talk to my mommy. She's the one that always makes the bad dreams go away after I have one."

"And how does she do that?"

"She sings a song that puts them to sleep and then uses the magic wands my grandpa carved for me and my baby sister to round them all up and stuff them inside of the special bad-dream box my grandma gave me for my birthday."

"I see. Well, I'm afraid that I don't have a magic wand to corral these bad dreams, or a special bad-dream box to stuff them inside of so they can't bother you anymore. But if you're willing to teach me the song your mom sings to put them to sleep, I'd be more than willing to sing it so that they'll be too busy sleeping to pick on you for a little while."

"Will you...Will you stay with me after that too? You know, to make sure we got them all so that I'm not too scared to close my eyes again."

"I um….I guess that I can do that for you. If that's really what you want me to do."

"Thank you so much, James! You're the best mentor thing in the whole wide world!"

"Don't a….Don't mention it, sweetheart.

"So, why don't you sing the first part of this special song for me so I can hear how it's supposed to go? That way I can get this messed cleaned up real quick and you can get back to sleep. Which if I'm lucky will give me a chance to catch a couple of z's before it's time for the two of us to get up for breakfast…"

Quills Danelhayr-17 (D9M)

I can't believe that it's finally morning! I mean seriously, last night felt like it was by far the longest night in the history of the world. It just would not freaking end, despite my nearly constant begging and pleading with whatever monster it is that controls time to make it do so. And while I do understand why my pleas might have been ignored, I do only have one life to give and I've already promised it to the god of death I'm about to dance with in the arena, but that doesn't make the fact that last night dragged on forever any easier for me to deal with.

But none of that matters now. The long night of waiting is finally over and I can finally start getting myself ready for the first day of the rest of my life. The day where I can finally put my past to bed and start focusing on the fact that I'm finally about to get the opportunity to do the one and only thing I've ever actually wanted to do in my entire life. Look death square in the eye and ask it to dance.

In fact, I'm so excited to finally be getting this opportunity, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the next six days of pre-death dancing boredom without losing my freaking mind.

"Hey there Quills. You're up awful early, not to mention entirely to bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for someone that's up this freaking early."

"Oh if you think I'm unnecessarily bright-eyed and bushy-tailed now just wait until you see on the morning of the games, Oatis.

"And for the record boss, I'm not up awful early so much as I'm still up from last night."

"Are you saying you didn't sleep last night? Like, at all?"

"Not necessarily. I mean, I did get a couple of hours of sleep in the middle of the night. But I've also been awake and dressed for hours. Heck, the only reason I stayed in my room was that I didn't want to make too much noise while the rest of you were still trying to sleep."

"So um...What...What time did you get up exactly?"

"I don't know. I think the clock on my dresser said it was four, maybe four fifteen in the morning. Why?"

"Because you didn't go to bed until between three and three-thirty Quills. Which means you got, at most, around seventy-five minutes or so of sleep last night."

"Huh. I could have sworn that I slept for at least three hours last night. Or maybe I was just so excited about today that it just felt like I had slept for that long."

"Well, you didn't. But if you'd like to head back to your room and try to catch a few more z's you're more than welcome to do so. I mean, you've got about an hour and a half or so before the avox will have breakfast ready so you've got plenty of time to kill."

"Thanks for the offer Oatis but I'm going to pass on it. I mean, I'm way to hyper and wound up to sleep right now and I know it. So there's really no reason for me to waste my time pretending that I might be able to do so."

I honestly can't tell if the look on Oatis's face right now is supposed to be one of slightly impressed respect at the fact I'm able to function at this high and hyper a level on such a little amount of sleep. Or one of comical disgust at the fact that I'm not taking him up on his offer to get a few more minutes of sleep before starting my day.

I mean, it's not like I honestly care which one of those two it is. At least not as much as my last statement might make someone think I do. It's just that I'm a bit surprised that I'm not able to read him well enough to tell the difference between two reactions. Especially when said reactions are damn near polar opposites of one another.

"Suit yourself Quills. But I should warn you, today is going to be one of the single longest and most boring days of your young life. And falling asleep on your feet, however impressive it may seem at first glance, would be the absolute worst thing you could possibly do."

"Duly noted and disregarded sir."

"Fair enough.

"So, do you want to talk a little shop while we wait for the other to get up, or did you want me to leave you alone for a while?"

You know, I honestly don't know how to respond to that question. I mean, I got up without honestly expecting anyone else to be awake yet. So I never really put much thought into what it was I actually wanted to do with the time I have between now and when everyone else stopped being lazy and decided to join me.

"If you're willing to talk shop with me Oatis I'm not going to turn you down."

"Good. That means there's still a chance for you to actually learn something from me before all of this is said and done. And as much as I hate to admit this, that's a hell of a lot better than nothing…"

Lexy Bloom-17 (D11F)

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to keep pretending to be this ultra-competitive and in control supergirl, everyone on this train thinks I am. I mean it's not that I'm not used to pretending to be something that I'm not, because after seventeen years of pretending to be the a-typical stuck up rich girl that knows she's better than everyone else in the room I've become something of an expert at doing exactly that with little to no real effort.

But this is the first time I've ever had to keep my bitch mask on and my ice queen facade in place every second of the day. And if yesterday is any indication of just how physically and emotionally exhausting doing so is going to be, I'm going to need to make sure I get some actual sleep going forward.

I mean, staying up late and doing math problems to help me relax and unwind from a stressful day seemed like a good, if not great, thing to do at the time. After all, I do that sort of thing all the time when I need to destress back at home, so it seemed only natural to do the same thing last night when I was having trouble falling asleep.

Unfortunately, I never actually took the time to stop and consider just how different my current situation is from my normal one. Let alone how throwing an unpredictable variable like staying up until the buttcrack of dawn to work on math problems would affect me going forward. Which if I'm being completely honest with myself is something I have a nasty habit of doing way more often than I'd really like to admit.

So here I am. With ten double-sided pages full of solved and unsolved math problems. And zero drive, energy, or desire to do anything that would force me to even sort of resembles a normal and functioning human. Let alone the ice-hearted, queen b bitch that everyone in the world, myself included, is expecting me to be.

But it's not like I really have a whole lot of choice in the matter either. At least not in the grand scheme of things anyway. After all, I'm the one that made my bed with this stupidly short-sighted decision, as now I'm just going to have to suck it up and lie in it. Even if that's the last thing, or maybe second to the last thing, it really depends on where I decide to rank the whole dying in the arena like some sort of stupid animal thing, that I actually WANT to do right now.

And so, despite my very real and understandable reservations about even trying to do anything today, I force myself to slip out of the unexpectedly warm and comforting embrace of my silk bed sheets and make my way, albeit angrily, in the direction of my small yet somehow obscenely opulent little bathroom. From there, I spend the next fifteen or so minutes enjoying the warm and bubbly water as it beats down rhythmically on my head, neck, and back, until I'm very rudely and unnecessarily ripped away from my unexpected little moment of peace by the sudden explosion of loud and semi-frantic banging on the door that separates my room from the rest of the train.

And so, again with very real and understandable reservations against doing so, I force myself to do something that I really don't want to do. I turn off the water, get out of the shower, wrap myself up in one of the unexpectedly soft and warm towels, and storm across the room with an angry scowl slapped on my dripping wet face. And once I'm there, I take a fraction of a second to catch my breath before throwing the door open and exploding on the poor soul, who in this case appears to be my district partner Euni, that was unfortunate enough to be saddled with the job of making sure that I'm awake like I'm supposed to be.

"WHAT?, EUNI! For the love of god, WHAT DO YOU NEED?!"

"I um...I was sent by Violetta and Honorius to make sure you were awake and to tell you that breakfast is ready. And since I can clearly see that you are awake, and have now told you about the food, I think it would be best if I…"

"If you left me the hell alone so I can get dressed? Or were you hoping that I would let you come in and watch?"

Ok, that was probably uncalled for. Even bitch mode Lexy thinks that it was unnecessarily harsh and mean, and she almost never thinks that about anything she says, at least not until she's had a little bit of time to think about it anyway. But I don't think I'm going to get a chance to apologize for saying it either. Because within seconds of the words leaving my mouth, and maybe a fraction of a second after I started to regret saying them, Euni has already bowed his, thrown out a garbled and marginally understandable apology, and quickly retreated down the hall and out of the sleeper car altogether. Leaving me dripping wet, emotionally conflicted, still physically and mentally exhausted, and now needing to hurry up and get dressed.

Can this day possibly get any worse..?

A/N: Ok, so this took way longer for me to finish writing than it had any right to take and I'm sorry for the stupid delay between chapter. I'm also going to go ahead and apologize for how dry this chapter really is, it's one of the harder and more boring ones to right but it has to be in here for the story to flow properly so I put it in. But I promise, the next couple chapters, which will be pre-parade prep and the parade itself, will be much more action packed, so buckle up and get ready for a wild ride :D