A/N:Hey-o! Told you I'd have this next chapter up soon! I actually had it done the night the last chapter was updated, but I wanted to wait a little bit before putting this one up. I pulled an all-nighter for this baby, and have been proofing it for days. So, without further ado, please enjoy~
Also, please don't hate me, this chapter gets kinda real, okay, go ahead now~
Axel's POV
I didn't want to assume it was Reno. I really, really didn't. I just wanted to trust Roxas, and not have to feel jealous or worried or angry or sad or anything.
Yet there my boyfriend was. Standing closer than necessary to my half-brother, leaning upwards, their faces just inches apart.
Wait, what the fuck!?
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" I snatch Reno by the collar and shove him off.
"Axel-"
"Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend!"
"Axel, you're hurting me, stop!"
I whip my head around to see I have a death grip on Roxas' shoulder. Quickly letting go, I sigh and go to hug him, but he backs away. "Roxas?"
"Axel, what-"
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" I hear Reno yell. He's getting up from off the floor and stomping towards me.
"You, that's what's wrong with me. And you need to stay the fuck away from other people's boyfriends, you conniving little-"
"What the fuck are you talkin' about, ya psycho!?" he grills.
"You've been making moves on Roxas! I know you like him, and I don't care if you do. He's mine! So don't even think about him in that way, understand?" I say through gritted teeth.
"You're crazy! I don't like, nor have I been 'making moves' on the boss," he says, but I'm not having any of it.
"Says the one who was just about to kiss him!" I yell.
"I was-what? What the hell are ya on now? Who's 'bout to kiss who!?"
Our argument is now drawing attention and people have started to gather. But I pay them no mind, I needed to put this bumpkin in his mother fucking place.
"Axel, we weren't-!"
"You just stay the hell away from him!"
"Why don't ya make me, ya fuckin' dick!?"
"You wanna fight?" Oh, I was so ready to fight. I'd been ready to punch this prick in the face since the night we went to dinner.
"Puh-lease, like your skinny-city ass could take me on; get your ass near beaten to death is what's gonna happen," he gloats with a smirk.
"Don't test me Reno," I growl, getting in his face.
"Back up off'a me, fucker!" He shoves me in the chest, hard, sending me back about a foot.
"You thought I was kidding?" I quickly advance on him, grabbing him by the collar. He may be tall, but he wasn't as tall as me.
"Get ready ta lose some'a yer teeth, assface!"
"I SAID E-FUCKING-NOUGH!"
Before I can punch Reno is his turd-wretch of a face, Roxas yells. Like, really yells, that shit bellowed down the block. It's now dead silent outside. Even the crickets have decided to shut the hell up.
"What. The fuck. Do you think. You're doing?" he says in such an icy voice, I almost shiver.
I stay silent, waiting for Reno to answer him.
"He ain't talkin ta me, fucktard," he spits.
"Yes he is," I reply, looking at him like he's stupid.
"No. I'm not."
I turn to Roxas, confused. But that confusion soon turns to fear when I see the look on his face. "What am I doing?" I ask, pointing towards myself completely taken aback.
"No Axel. What the fuck are you doing?"
I jump back a little at the bite in his voice. "I'm protecting you!" Wrong choice of words.
"Protecting me from what!? We were just talking! And just that. Nobody was about to kiss anybody!"
"Then why were you guys so close to each other!?" I ask angry and accusing.
"I was gettin some lint outta his bangs, ya paranoid little bitch," Reno answers. And it just makes me angrier.
"Reno. I'll take it from here," Roxas says.
"What, so you're just letting him off the hook!?" I exclaim incredulously.
"Reno is partly wrong for this, but just for the name-calling and the violence. But not unwarranted violence, seeing as how you egged him on." My mouth hangs open from what he's saying to me. "You are the one who's most to blame for this nonsense. Which is what it is! Nonsense!"
"Nonsense?" I say in a low voice, seething. "You think worrying about my boyfriend being taken away is nonsense!?" I was raising my voice now too. Digging my hole deeper. The angrier I became, the more stupid shit flew out of my mouth. "Don't think I don't know! About the flirting, about the secrets, about the going behind my back."
"Axel, what the hell are you talking about?" he asks, pissed and angry. And honestly, he had every right to be, but didn't I as well?
No. No I did not.
But my mouth doesn't know that.
"I can see it! In the way you two talk and act with each other!"
"Look Axel, I'm sorry if I'm really friendly with him, and it looks wrong or whatever, but it's not. If it makes you this uncomfortable, I'll ease up."
"Ease up on what? The talking or the flirting?" I huff.
"I have not been flirting," he grits. This was getting uglier by the second and neither of us seemed to be backing down.
"What do you call the constant contact huh? The physical and the conversational."
"I'm sorry, am I not supposed to talk with my employee?" he asks sarcastically.
"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TEXT HIM WINKY FACES, I KNOW THAT AT LEAST!"
"…"
That's when I had realized. I'd made a grave error.
"You…have you been going through my messages?" he asks me, completely aghast.
All of the anger deflated out of me and was immediately overtaken. By guilt.
I fucked up.
"Roxas, I-"
"You went into my phone, without my permission, and didn't tell me, and read through my messages, because you think I'm cheating on you? With Reno?"
I hear Reno scoff, whether that was in disbelief or offense, I didn't know, didn't care. Roxas had stated that so deadly calm, I thought I would choke on the stale air.
"Roxas, no, listen, I-"
"No, you listen," he states with anger. "I. Am not. Fucking. Cheating on you. I'm not flirting with Reno behind your back, or at all. I can't even believe I'm having this conversation! And you had the nerve. The nerve. To say I was going behind your back? You went through my phone like I was some sort of cheating man-whore, having an affair, that you were so positive was real, when in reality, it wasn't. It was all just something you made up in your head. I-OOOH, I AM SO FUCKING MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU!"
I run after him when he stomps away and grab his arm.
"Roxas, I'm sorry-!" I try to apologize, but he rips his arm from out of my grasp.
"Don't fucking touch me, don't apologize to me, and don't fucking TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW!"
This time, I let him walk away, and leave me behind to wallow in my idiocy and regret.
Oh god. What had I done?
…
"Axel, you gotta get up and eat something," my mom calls from the other side of my closed door. "It's been days since I last saw you eat something. And I'm not letting you stay in bed all day anymore. Come on, get up."
I don't get up. I don't answer. I just lay under my comforter, trying to find…comfort.
I hear her sigh and walk away. Though she wanted me to get up, she didn't want to drag me out. I hadn't said much when I came in that Thursday night. I hadn't done much since then besides sleep. I wasn't even going to work. Amy's mom had called my phone a few times, but I just sent her a text saying I was taking off for a little while. I'm probably fired. More people disappointed in me.
Eleven days and thirteen hours. That's how long it's been since I'd seen or even spoken to him. The last thing he said to me was that he didn't want to talk. So I didn't call him.
For the first two days anyways. Then I called, but it went straight to voicemail. I thought about dropping by his work, but I knew it would have just made things worse, especially since Reno works there too.
After about the tenth call and the fourth voicemail, I resorted to texting. But after sending at least 50 messages with no response, I also gave up on that.
Now it's been almost two weeks, and I was dying. My mother would say it's because I'm not eating. I say it's from a broken heart.
I hear a loud knock on my door much later after taking another nap, and am confused. My mom doesn't knock like that. He doesn't knock like that. So I immediately don't care.
But the doors burst open, and I hear the footsteps of about the size of a small army.
"Get your skank-ass up!" a shrill voice says. I turn around from the mere shock of who it is, and see almost all of my friends.
"Larxene?" I say, but it comes out garbly and raspy. I haven't talked since the last voicemail I left, and that was days ago.
"That's right mother fucker, and I did not drive my ass all the way from the city to let you mother fucking sleep, so rise and shine bitch!" She pulls the covers clean off my bed, and I immediately curl into myself. I take a pillow and cover my face. I know I must look horrible right now.
"What are you doing?" I hear Zexion sigh.
"He's probably covering his face cause he thinks he looks bad," Marluxia replies.
"Ain't no one cares about your dank-ass face, now you can either sit up on your bed, or I will drag you onto the floor, do not tempt me Axel," Larxene hisses. She was not playing games.
Lethargically, I sit up and sit pretzel style with my back bent so bad, my mother would faint from my horrible posture. I finally look up to take a head count. Larxene. Demyx. Zexion. Marluxia. Leon. No Cloud. That made sense. He's probably with his cousin, hating me too right now.
"Hey guys," I try to say.
"You sound like your sixty, man," Leon jokes lightly.
"And you look worse," Marluxia mutters, shaking his head. They all come to sit on my carpet next to my bed. Larxene goes to drag the chair to my computer across the room and flops down into it.
"Alright, let's officially start this emergency meeting," Marluxia states, clapping his hands together once.
"Why are we having an emergency meeting?" I ask.
"You're kidding, right?" Larxene speculates. "No one's heard from you in over a week, your ma just told us you're not eating, and you haven't left your room in so long it smells like dead guy in here."
"She exaggerates darling. Though it does smell pretty foul," Marluxia points out.
"I'll open a window," Leon says, crossing my room. When he gets there he pulls the blinds up and I hiss at the sun boiling my eyes dry.
"What are you a vampire? It's just sun," Larxene says snide.
"Sun that I haven't seen for weeks," I groan. All this talking was making my throat hoarse.
After cracking a window, Leon states he's going to get me water too, so he leaves the room.
"Alright darling, would you like to explain?" Marluxia starts.
"Explain what?"
He sighs, and Zexion decides to take over. "All of this would go a lot smoother, easier, and quicker if you stopped playing dumb."
"Zexion! Easy on the man. He's suffering," Demyx whispers.
Before I can even think of saying anything back, Larxene retorts for me. "'Suffering' my fat-ass! He's done his wallowing and his moping and all that bullshit, so now is the time to man the fuck up and take action! And we're here to help you do that." She smiles at me, but that smile like you've got something evil planned. Which is the way Larxene always smiles, so I shouldn't really be too concerned.
"I don't know what you expect me to do. Roxas hates my guts. I'm surprised he hasn't returned any of my calls to break-up with me, if anything."
"Not a good mentality to have, darling" Marluxia states, but everyone falls silent after that because they know it's true. They've all heard, if just from around, or from Cloud, or even from the man himself about what happened.
"I have no right to think he'll come back to me," I sigh.
"But, do you even know the whole story?" Demyx asks.
"He wasn't cheating, that's what he said."
"Yeah, but how do we know he's telling the truth?" Larxene speculates. I glare at her.
"He wouldn't and has never lied to me."
"Alright, alright, I was just making sure…"
Though there was that part of me that truly believed in what I'd just said…there was also still that part in me, filled with doubt, and still creeping suspicion.
Leon came back into the silent room, carrying a bottle of water. "Sorry that took so long, your mom caught me. Here you go."
"Thanks Leon," I near but gasp. I was thirstier than I realized. As he hands it to me, I notice a gold ring on his left hand, with an intricate design. "Nice ring," I compliment.
"Thanks. Cloud got it for me," he says smiling down at it.
"Oh? When was this?" I probe before taking a drink of water. Anything to change the topic off me for a bit.
"When was it…I think, two weeks ago? Right, it was Saturday night, cause we were having a date night."
"You and Cloud have 'date night'?" Larxene chortles. Leon grabbed one of my many pillows and chucked it at her face.
"Yes we do. He said he went shopping with Roxas to pick it out for me. He's scared girls and guys are going to be hitting on me something fierce when we start Uni, so he got me a ring to show I'm taken," he chuckles. Something about what he just said tickled my brain, but I was too depressed over hearing his name to grab onto the thought.
Larxene chucked the pillow back at Leon. "Dude!" she hisses.
"What?"
"On'tday aysay ishay londsbay amenay in rontfay of imhay," he said. Everyone gravely nodded except me because Pig Latin makes no sense. I don't even bother to ask what the frig he just said.
I drink my water, and everyone sits, thinking, until Demyx comes up with a thought.
"Well, if he won't come back to you, then why don't you go back to him?"
A dumb thought.
"The only place I could go visit him is at work, because I doubt he or Cloud would open the door for me," I sigh. "And I can't visit him at work because you-know-who is there."
"Who?" Larxene asks.
"Reno," Zexion answers, in an 'obviously' voice.
"The fucker who started all this?"
"My half-brother didn't start this. My jealous thinking did," I correct.
"Back the truck up, he's your half-brother!?" she exclaims.
"Uh-duh," Demyx says.
"How am I supposed to know any of this? No one texts me for shit!"
It was because her texts were long and crude. You might as well just call her and get the experience. And we're all guilty of being bad about calling others.
"Okay, okay, okay. Let me get this story straight. You suspected blondie was cheating on you with your half-brother, who also happens to work for him, but they weren't, supposedly, and now it's all awkward turtle?"
"Yeah," I sigh, feeling like the crappiest boyfriend in the world. If I could still even call myself that.
"It's not like you guys officially broke up, so there's a good chance he's willing to forgive you," Zexion says. It's the first bright news I've heard all day. "But he's not going to do it if you're just lazing around your house all day feeling sorry for yourself."
My friends. I love them.
"I know," I say. I lean back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, hoping for the motivation to hit me. But it doesn't. I still feel like trash, both physically and mentally, and have no desire to go anywhere.
"Cloud doesn't hate you."
"What?" I turn to Leon who had just spoken.
"You said that Cloud wouldn't open the door for you, and I think you're assuming he hates you right now."
"I assumed."
"Well, he doesn't," Leon explains shortly.
"Thank you for the clarification," I say.
"Look, he's pretty mad, but he's behind you in this as well. We're all friends. But Cloud's about all he's got right now is all. And Cloud knows that we're all here for you. That's why he's not here right now, because he knows you're in a lot of capable hands."
I smile, despite myself. It's the first I've cracked in weeks. "Roxas has his own group of friends. Why aren't they there helping?" I say off-handedly, to no one in particular. Leon doesn't answer, just looks down at his ring and twirls it on his finger. And that's when that fleeting thought from before came back.
"Wait…wait…Saturday…Saturday?" I mumble.
"What?" Leon asks.
Hopefully for this to work…I have to ask the right question. "Do you know where Cloud bought your ring from?"
"From Jay's Jeweler."
"Which chain?" I ask frantically.
"The one at the strip mall," he responds, his eyebrow upturned, confused.
And just like that. The bad feelings. Not the guilt, if anything that got worse. But the bad feelings of suspicion and worry and jealousy…poofed.
And suddenly, I found my motivation.
I got up out of bed, just to immediately fall to the ground.
"My goodness, you all right down there?" Everyone had gotten up to look over my crumpled heap.
"Yeah…no strength…and extremely dizzy," I rasp.
"This is what happens when you don't eat for days on end, fool," Zexion says lightly but sternly.
"Yeah," I laugh. "But I think I'm ready to face anything now." They all help me off the floor.
"Then darling, first things first, hop in the shower for a few days, and get out of this funk!" Marluxia exclaims. I chuckle and they look at me like I'm weird. Because I will get out of this funk.
In both senses of the word.
…
I was waiting for the signal in a café from across the lot. Cloud had dropped him off there, telling him to wait while he went to get his car fixed. After Cloud left, he had walked down to the river pier to sit by the water. It was empty at this type of time on a Tuesday morning. He wasn't at work which was good but alarming. I guess we both couldn't work up the strength to face our jobs.
After final getting the 'ok' text from Cloud, I left the nice air-conditioned café to enter the sweltering heat. It must have been over 80 out and it was disgustingly humid.
Heeeat I hate the heeeeat, I whine to myself, but quickly shake these thoughts away. This was all for a great cause. An amazingly great cause.
And an amazingly great person.
I swallow down the lump that is quickly forming in my throat and walk towards the small figure that is huddled into himself at the edge of the pier, knees pulled into his chest. I don't want to scare him and have him accidentally fall into the water, so I lightly clear my throat, waiting for him to turn. He doesn't. So I clear it louder. Still no react-He has his earphones in. I don't know how or why I keep forgetting about that, but when he is alone, he almost is always listening to music. And this time was no exception.
What I didn't know, is that he sometimes sings to himself when he does so.
Life is a waterfall
We're one in the river
And one again after the fall
Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all...
His voice was so soft and full of pure sadness, I felt like crying. It was almost a whisper, but had too much bass to be considered one, and his voice would disappear halfway through the high notes.
Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose
I was planning on stopping him there, but how could I?
Aerials
In the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Aerials
So up high
He whispers the last word, then sighs. No more singing. It killed me that I had put this sadness in him. This despair.
"Roxas…" I choke out. I see him twitch and turn around.
When he sees me his eyes widen, then they narrow, in all of the space of a second. "Oh. It's you."
"Yeah. It's me."
He gets up but wobbles dangerously close to the edge. I step forward and catch his arm before he plummets into the water. "You alright?"
"Fine," he says, snatching his arm away now that he's steady. His arm felt so skinny in my grasp. Too skinny…
I want to ask him so much. It had been nearly two weeks, and that was two too many. I want to ask him how he is, what's been going on, how he's feeling, what he had for breakfast, did he learn any new songs, everything. All of it just came flooding into me as soon as I saw him. These emotions of happiness, excitement. That good anxious feeling. And how much I truly love him. I never wanted to let him go-
"-breakup."
Unless, of course, he wanted to.
"W…what?" This…this couldn't be happening. After all we'd been through? It was ending, just over this? Granted, I was in the wrong, but I came here to apologize, to state I'd do whatever it takes to win him back, to mend our relationship, make up for my mistakes…not end it.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I can't speak. I just…I didn't know what I'd do without Roxas in my life. I didn't know…what my life was without Roxas.
"We broke up."
"Huh?" I look at Roxas, really look at him, and see he also has tears in his eyes. There are dark bags under both his bloodshot eyes. He looks a little pasty and seriously pale, and like he might just collapse in on himself.
"Roxas-"
"The band. True Light's Eclipse. We broke up."
My heart drops for him.
"And I don't know how to handle anything right now. And I'm still beyond pissed with you but…for right now…at least for right now…I need you, Axel. Please." His voice breaks on the last word, and the tears escape as he squeezes his eyes shut.
But he didn't even need to ask, because I already have him cradled in my arms.
Haha. So. Be honest, how many of you hate me right now? I know, I was so misleading with the chapter title, but I actually thought it was a slight stroke of genius on my part. Anyway, thanks so much for reading, stay with me, and look forward to more!
Loves and stuff~
The Chriss-Meister