Chapter Twenty One- Afternoon Delight
Monday morning. It had felt like ten years since the only worry on my mind was work. Usually at 8am I was in overdrive panic mode. Is his coffee hot enough? Have I cleared enough emails? Do I look polished enough? Will he be warm or cold today? God, did I long for those days. Fidgeting in my pencil skirt my thoughts were far away from a corporate assistant's mundane concerns. Is Jeremy okay? Will he ever forgive me for compelling him to leave town? Will Caroline be okay as a vampire and will she kill somebody, and if she does kill somebody how will she handle it? When will Katherine strike again? Will she aim to wound this time or aim to kill? Can I trust Damon? What kind of future if any can a human have with an immortal being? These were insane thoughts, but they were my current thoughts none the less. I stared past my Mac computer, my email so clogged with unanswered emails, and zoned out on the faux Jackson Pollack that decorated the lobby area. I assumed it was faux, but knowing the Salvatore brothers like I did it wouldn't surprise me if it was the real deal. They were, however, accustomed to a life of decadence and luxury.
In that particular moment I was almost thankful that I had lost so much. That I had witnessed my parents die in front of me at such a young age, that I was bound to my brother who felt everything around him, that my aunty, whom I loved so dearly had passed away so suddenly and so tragically that it had brought the last Gilbert thread undone. Because I had seen the worse the world had to offer, I had been through hell and I knew how to put a smile however false on my face and live day after day with a monotonous fortitude. It was that resilience alone that had gotten me through the last week. A part of me knew it was completely ludicrous "Oh hey, you're an immortal being and the supernatural exists, fantastic" "Oh hey, a scorned ex-lover has turned my best friend into a vampire and has destroyed any chance of her human happiness because you and your brother rejected her warped polygamous relationship offer, excellent" "Oh hey, you tried to kill me and the only thing that saved me was vampire blood, splendid". I knew on some level that I should have been afraid, or at least startled by the revelation of what the true Salvatore secret was, but after enduring so much grief and heartache, it would take more than immortality to get a rise out of me. I was completely spent: emotionally, physically, and any other way you could ever imagine. But like a true Gilbert, I got up, showered, got dressed, and faced everyday with as much gumption as I could muster, because that's who we were.
Damon had still been asleep when I had left Salvatore Manor this morning. I had made it perfectly clear to him over the past few days that if I were to continue to be his personal assistant while living at his house (not to mention sleeping with him, or whatever it was we were doing), there were to be some ground rules. We were not to travel to and from work together, we were to act professional in the work place, we were to sleep in our own individual rooms at all times and we were to be completely honest with each other if anything got weird. So far, it had been so good, but that had been the weekend and we were now beginning our first work week. The memory of our first day back at work after we had slept together started seeping into my mind, and I hoped to god that today would not unfold the same. Damon Salvatore was like the sun, if you stood to close to him, you would get yourself burnt. But when he kept too far from you, when he kept himself locked away, it was cold, dark and lonely, and I had no desire to feel that again.
Almost like I had summoned him, the elevator door clicked at 8.06am and he strode out carrying his favourite leather briefcase. He had a quiet cool about him today, and even his Italian custom made suit looked sexy casual on him rather than fierce and intimidating. I had said it before and I would say it again: Suits didn't wear Damon Salvatore, he wore them.
"Good Morning Elena" He purred in a voice halfway between flirtatious and appropriate, bringing me out of my existential daze and back to reality. Whatever was going on at home or in my/our personal lives, he was still the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation and I was his assistant. So today, they were the roles we needed to play.
"Good morning Mr Salvatore" I greeted in response, giving him a shy smile and returning my eyes to my computer screen. During my extended time off during the past week my inbox had become out of control, and I didn't even know where to begin clearing it, so I could NOT afford to be distracted by the Adonis of a man in front of me. He lingered for a little longer then he should have, then made his way across the marble floor and into his office. Social event request- forwarded through to Damon. Work experience request- forwarded to HR. Merger reminder request- emailed through to Damon and due date copied onto my calendar. After a few minutes I had only cleared 10 and I still had over a thousand to go. Today was going to be a long day. I could hear my private cell buzzing in my hand bag but I couldn't even bring myself to answer it at the moment. I was feeling so totally overwhelmed and I didn't have the energy to even contemplate whoever was trying to contact me.
A few moments later I noticed the needle on the elevator was making its way up to our floor and I wondered who on earth it could be. Stefan was at Salvatore Manor with Caroline on an extended leave of absence from work, and other than him and Jim from Finance and Acquisitions, hardly anybody had permission nor the authority to come up to Damon's office. As the needle kept making it's way further and further toward our floor, a feeling of unrest started developing in the pit of my stomach. Was Katherine this brazen? Would she attack again so soon? My body began rising from my chair, with one hand ready to launch my body from the desk if imminent danger was present, and one on the intercom into Damon's office. The elevator doors dinged and the adrenaline running through my veins was ready for just about anything, and just when my heart was about to beat out of my chest I was both shocked and relived to see Bonnie Bennett step out of the elevator, followed by a very angry looking security guard.
"Elena!" She gasped, lunging away from the security guard toward me, but he followed her very closely
"Bonnie, what are you doing here?" The security guard looked shocked at my blasé demeanour
"Miss Gilbert, do you know this woman?" He asked
"Wha..yes, of course I know her" I responded confused. His shoulders relaxed slightly but he still looked extremely uptight. Bonnie turned to face him with a smug smile on her mouth
"See! I told you" She huffed at him "Moron"
"Regardless ma'm I have certain protocols I need to abide by" He responded "Miss Gilbert, is she clear to stay?"
"Yes it's fine" I nodded
"Well in future Miss Gilbert can you please advise your friend here to obtain clearance and a visitors pass before she attempts to enter the CEO's floor. Guys have been fired for much less" I gave him a sympathetic smile and an acknowledging nod before he returned to the elevator and left Bonnie and I standing in the reception area.
"Bon Bon, what are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you but you could have called first" I asked causing her features to turn angry
"I have been calling Elena, for the past four days, and you haven't answered any of them" My cell phone had been the absolute last thing on my mind lately, but come to think of it I had seen a few missed calls and texts from her the past few days.
"You have, yeah, god, I'm sorry, it's been a pretty crazy week" I offered, sitting back down in my office chair and rubbing my forehead trying to keep at bay the headache that was looming
"I've been calling your cell, your home, Caroline's cell and I've gotten nothing! Both of you didn't show up at the Grill on Friday and it scared me half to death when you didn't respond to me. I even went by your house the past few days and you weren't home? It looked like no one had been home for a few days. I called Caroline's work and apparently she's called in sick all of last week and is basically unreachable. I was minutes away from calling the Sheriff before I came down here today. What in the hell is going on?" Her question alarmed me. Where would I even begin to cover up this senseless situation that was going on? I couldn't tell her the truth, she would think I was certifiably insane, and not just that, the more people that knew about what was going on the more dangerous it was for them, and I wanted to keep her safe from harm's way. If Katherine had even a slithering suspicion that she could get to me through my other best friend Bonnie would be in serious trouble.
"Like I said it's been a crazy week" I began, trying to think of something, anything that would be a good cover up. Thankfully, Damon's entrance into the reception was more than welcomed as a distraction, giving me a few moments to piece together a lie that Bonnie would buy.
"Elena I needed to discuss with you the merger contracts for the Omaha deal" He greeted before landing his eyes on Bonnie. I knew he didn't need to discuss any paperwork with me, especially considering we didn't have any business with anyone in Nebraska right now. He had overheard the entire exchange from his office, and he could obviously tell by the sound of my voice that I had absolutely bubkiss in way of a cover story "My sincerest apologies, I didn't realise you had company. Please excuse my interruption"
"No apologies needed Mr. Salvatore. This is one of my closest friends; Bonnie Bennett. Bonnie, may I introduce my boss Damon Salvatore" Bonnie eyed him doubtfully and I knew in an instant that she disliked him. Prior to the events of last week, I had a sneaking suspicion Caroline had been in her ear about her concerns with our relationship, and Bonnie, ever the protective friend, was automatically wary of my romantic entanglement with my superior. Damon took a step forward, pulling Bonnie's hand into his own and shaking it firmly but non threateningly
"Ah Miss Bennett, yes I recall Miss Gilbert mentioning you every now and again. You are one of the delightful school friends she has drinks with once a week at the grill no?" He was buttering her up and she wasn't buying it for a second. Caroline Forbes might be wavered with flattery, but Bonnie was not.
"That would be me" She responded flatly, taking her hand away from his as soon as it was appropriate to do so "Your reputation certainly proceeds you"
"Bonnie" I hissed under my breath causing a small chuckle to escape Damon's lips. Bonnie gave me an unapologetic look before returning her gaze to Damon
"You're lucky to have her Mr Salvatore. She's too good for you" She told flatly, causing the saliva in my throat to almost choke me "As an assistant, I mean"
"I couldn't agree with you more" He smiled politely. "Elena is a very talented young woman. She is destined for great things, and I consider myself lucky to have caught her as an assistant while she is on her way up" This answer seemed to mildly satisfy Bonnie "Please excuse my rudeness but Elena these contracts really do require our urgent attention. If you wouldn't mind joining me in my office as soon as possible it would be greatly appreciated"
"Certainly sir" I smiled thankfully. He gave Bonnie a polite smile before turning on his heels and returning into his office.
"What a smug ass" Bonnie breathed heavily as soon as she thought he was out of earshot. She would die of horror if she only knew that he would need to be a block down the street to truly not hear her.
"Bonnie" I scolded, trying to hold back my laugh. She had always been the same, no penchant for fake adulation. She had and always would call a spade a spade, and that's why I loved her "I'm sorry but I really do need to get in there and assist him with this. I'll call you tonight alright, I promise, and I'll explain everything that's going on"
"So there is something going on?" She asked forcefully
"Bonnie please, I can't right now, not while I'm at work. I promise you I will call you later. Everything is fine!"
"I'll hold you to that Elena" She told, moving over to give me a hug goodbye. "Talk soon"
"Bye" I smiled as genuinely as I could as she made her way back to the elevator. As soon as the doors were closed the breath I didn't even realise I was holding finally came out, and I sat back down in my office chair to try and control the panic attack that was rising in my chest. Bonnie god, Caroline and I had been so wrapped up with the life and death events of the past few days that we had completely forgotten about our best friend. Of course she thought something was wrong, I had totally forgotten and I'm sure Caroline had to message her that drinks at the grill on Friday was feasible for both of us. We hadn't missed a Friday there together since I had moved back to Mystic Falls. There had been so much going on in our lives but I felt so guilty that my best friend of over twenty years didn't even pop into my brain. My internalisation was spiralling so much out of control that I didn't even notice that Damon was by my side with a reassuring hand on my hand.
"Are you alright?" He cooed in my ear, causing me to jump a little at his presence
"I'm just, freaking out a little bit. I feel so guilty, I didn't even know where to begin lying to her. Oh jesus, thank you so much for coming out, I was on the spot I couldn't think" I began to ramble. He started making soft circles on my shoulder blades with his fingers and even though there were two layers of cotton between our skin, it felt so comforting
"I gathered. It's alright though, tonight we can sit down with Caroline and come up with something suitable for the situation, unless you would like to be honest with her.." He said. Even the suggestion made the panic in my body rise up again
"Absolutely no! It's bad enough that Caroline and Jeremy have gotten caught up in all of this, there is no way I am letting Bonnie anywhere near it. I'm not going to put her in danger. The less she knows the better" Although I hadn't directly mentioned Damon in any of my spiel, as soon as I had finished his face was overcome with a sharp look of guilt, and I knew that he was internalising everything I had just said, twisting it into something that it wasn't, with him at the centre of the problem. It was a pattern I was becoming all too familiar with. A tornado of guilt and onus with him at the epicentre. And it was one pattern that I was determined to stop. "Hey" I cooed "It's not your fault". His eyes shifted and I could tell that he had pulled himself out of whatever wave of emotion he was feeling but I could also tell he didn't want to talk about it and I knew I had to pick my battles. After all, you don't just go in hell for leather with a sledge hammer and try to knock down the Great Wall of Salvatore, it needed to be pulled apart piece by piece.
"Right well, I better get back to it. We'll deal with this later"
"Okay" I breathed lightly as he turned and returned into his office.
x
Regardless of the fact that I was buried in a mountain of paperwork that I worried I would never find my way out of, the day seemed to drag on. I was beyond concerned about what we would tell Bonnie, she was a little too intuitive for her own good, and a run of the mill white lie was not going to suffice this time. I had an awful lot of guilt gnawing at me that I had almost completely forgot about the existence of one of my best friends, but I reasoned with myself that finding out about the supernatural in such an abrupt and life changing manner as had happened in the week previous could cause even the most level headed person to fall out of balance. I was anxious at how much my world had begun to revolve around Damon, and concerned that I had become one of those women who is completely wrapped up in their guy (if I could even call him that). Sure our situation was not ordinary, but did that excuse the fact that at the current moment, everything in my life seemed to circle him. As the clock struck three o'clock and he came strolling out of his office looking ever so handsome, I made a note to myself to make a conscious effort to take some me time and spend outside Salvatore & Sons, outside Salvatore Manor and outside the cocoon I seemed to have sewn for us.
"What's with the face?" I heard him ask as he came to a stop at the edge of my desk. I hadn't realised that I was frowning at my computer screen until his velvet voice snapped me out of my own thoughts. My head appeared to be a common place for me to get lost in of late.
"There's no face" I replied with as much conviction as I could manage. He raised an eyebrow at me in disbelief and I sighed, knowing he read me a little too well. "Nothing to worry about"
"Then don't" He grinned cheekily, wiggling his same eyebrow up and down in a teasing manner. I had to remind myself that we were at work; his cheekiness was a constant turn on and this wasn't the time nor the place for that.
"Yes sir" I chuckled lightly. He moved into a sitting position on my desk and continued to observe me a little too closely as I returned to my emails. I finished replying to the assistant of Cowan & Smith's legislator in regards to one of the deals our firm was working on, adding the October 4th meeting into both mine and Damon's Calendar. If that investment went through it would be a huge win for the company, both reputably and financially. I could still feel Damon's gaze on me after a few minutes and I turned my head to eye him with aggravation. "Can I help you with something?"
"Just enjoying the view" He smiled sweetly. I rolled my eyes at him
"I believe the lovely 30 storey view of the town is out of your office window Mr Salvatore" I retorted very matter of factly. I wasn't mad with him, not really, but I enjoyed these little games we played.
"And I believe the lovely view of my knock out assistant is in the reception area" He grinned back at me. I cracked a sly smile at him, shaking my head and trying with all my might to focus on my computer screen before I gave into my urges and begged him to take me right here and now. "What do you say we slip out early? Head back to the house, enjoy a little whiskey on the terrace"
"That sounds amazing but I really do have a mountain of work to get through. Those few days off have really put me behind. I feel like I'm chasing my tail"
"Well I won't tell the boss if you don't"
"Damon" I told in a small laugh, he really was the dodgiest superior in the world.
"Come on, it's a few hours. I'm sure there's nothing that pressing that it can't wait until the morning. I'll even get what's her face from Stefan's office to take care of some of the paperwork tomorrow"
'Her name is Janine, and you are quite honestly the worst boss on the planet"
"No, I'd be the worst boss on the planet if I said if you don't get your cute toosh onto that elevator in the next 5 minutes you're fired"
"You wouldn't" I grinned, narrowing my eyes at him and challenging his playful threat
"What makes you think that?" He teased
"Because you rely on me too much now. You've gotten complacent. You can barely sign your own signature without my help these days" A laugh escaped his beautiful lips at my insult because he knew I was right
"Fine, you've got me. But we're still cutting out early Gilbert." I weighed up the pros and the cons before ultimately deciding to take him up on his offer. My work wasn't going anywhere, and I had certainly drained my brain enough for the day.
"Alright, alright. Just let me send a few more emails then we'll go" I told, caving in. If I thought he would give me the five minutes I needed to write the remaining emails I would be wrong. He sat, patiently waiting on the edge of my desk, never taking his eyes away from me as I typed away furiously. Once I was finished and had gathered my things, we walked silently to the elevator together and began our trip home, much to his distain, in separate vehicles.
His town car had followed very closely behind me the entire drive back to his place. As much as I knew we were heading to the same destination, I figured Damon wouldn't let his driver let me out of their site. Yes, Katherine was a looming threat, and her actions over the past few weeks had shown she was capable of almost anything, but I highly doubted that she was going to run me off the road mid-afternoon and launch her newest attack in broad daylight. That said, I never imagined she was would turn Caroline into a vampire, break into my house and threaten my brother or have one of her minions ambush Damon and I at his cabin so I guess all bets were off, and Damon wasn't taking any chances. We pulled up to Salvatore Manor at the same time, and he was quickly over to my car to open the door for me. I smiled silently in thanks, and we walked hand in hand to the front door.
"Now I know I said we should have a drink on the terrace but I think I've changed mind" He told me as we reach the door
"Oh yeah?" I asked curiously, stopped to look up at him
"I want that dress on my floor and you naked in my bed in approximately 5 minutes" He growled, leaning in and placing a feverish kiss just below my jaw line. My body began to ache with need and I could muster as an answer was a submissive nod. I was powerless against this man; and he knew it. Damon leant forward to open the door and I strode quickly through it, trying my hardest to control my body as my thoughts swam with nothing but the image of him plunging deep and hard inside me. I stopped dead in my tracks halfway through the entrance as the sound of muffled grunting filled my ears. I heard a humorous scoff from Damon over my shoulder as the vision of Stefan and Caroline in the midst of passion on the den ottoman came into view. I had wondered what had been happening with the two of them, they seemed happy and in lust before the whole Katherine debacle had happened, but I hadn't seen them together in any sense of the word since her vampire training had begun. This little afternoon romp was a clear indicator that their relationship was still very much thriving, and I smiled to myself lightly, happy that Caroline had him. He was a good guy, and she deserved that and much more.
And in an instant, everything changed. It all happened so quickly. They were on top of each other on the rug- they made eye contact with Damon and I- then the blur of a body rushing towards me was all I could see. She was leaping toward me before I realised what was happening; the dark veins around her eyes and the sharp fangs protruding from her mouth were a neon sign of the impending danger my human body was about to fall prey to. I don't know where it came from, I don't even know why my brain thought it would work, but I formed a protective stance, putting all the pressure on my back heel ready to spring forward, and pushed my right arm out with my palm facing her.
"CAROLINE. STOP! NOW!" I warned sternly. By this point Damon had his arms wrapped around me, trying to let him shield me, but I wouldn't let him in front of me. I knew this was just a momentarily lapse, as Damon had told me, one of the hardest times to control your hunger, especially when you were a new vampire, was during sex. It was 'hard to distinguish the difference between being turned on and being hungry", and I knew that if I could stop her for a moment, make her think, she would regain her control. She stopped a few inches away from me, fangs still out and panting furiously. The animal inside of her was still pushing her for the hunt, but I could see my best friend starting to fade back in.
"Caroline. Stand down. Now!" I told again, having to stop myself from laughing at how much of a school teacher I sounded like. The fury in her eyes remained for a few more seconds, and Stefan was now by her side, ready to restrain her if need be. But she needed to know that she could do this on her own and she needed to know that I was not afraid of her. Damon and Stefan would not always be around to protect her from herself, so she needed to gain the confidence that she could do it on her own. Another few seconds passed by and the tension in the air was thick, but I could see the blueness of her eyes starting to come back, and eventually, her teeth and black veins faded. As soon as they were gone completely, the vicious hunger had turned into pure shame and embarrassment, and tears began to fill her eyes.
"Oh my god Elena" She cried out "I'm, I'm so sorry." I instinctively reached out to comfort her, but my hand was grabbed and held into place by Damon. I may have trusted her not to hurt me, but he clearly didn't. If she wasn't ashamed enough before, this gesture from Damon pushed her over the edge. She looked from me to Damon then sprang from her position and fled up the staircase into her room. Stefan turned to follow but I placed a soft hand on his shoulder.
"Give her a few minutes Stefan" I asked softly "She needs to be alone right now" He gave me a nod of acknowledgment and headed outside to the terrace instead. I unwrapped Damon's arms from around my waist and turned around to look at him. I could feel the heat pulsating out of his pores, and he had no reason to be angry.
"She wasn't going to hurt me" I told firmly, but his eyes were still swimming with rage
"You don't know that" He growled as he began pacing.
"Yes I do" I replied firmly again. My hands made their way to my hips, as they always did when I was frustrated. He may not have any faith in Caroline, but I did.
"It's not safe for you to stay here anymore. I should have never brought you here to begin with. She's out of control" He began rambling. I walked over to where he was pacing and took his hand tightly, forcing him to look me in the eyes
"It's not safe for me anywhere Damon. And I'm sorry but I'd rather take the risk of Caroline accidently attacking me here than Katherine deliberately attacking me out there" I told, lifting up on my tip toes to give him a soft kiss "Besides, I feel safest when I'm with you. So, sorry to disappoint you Salvatore but I'm not going anywhere" A bittersweet smile curled on his upper lip, and I knew, as I usually did, that I had won this round. "Besides, did you see how good she was? She stopped. I think that's amazing"
"What would be amazing is if she didn't attack you in the first place" He growled. I grabbed the sides of his face with my hands and forced him to look me directly in the eyes.
"You don't believe that for a second. She's made so much progress in such a short amount of time. She is not a danger to me Damon. If I thought even for a second that she was I wouldn't be here" I placed a chaste kiss on his cheek "I'm going to go up to my room and relax for a few hours. Can we raincheck on the afternoon delight?" He nodded in disappointment but his eyes told me he knew I needed some time to myself.
"Sure" He told in an almost whisper. I gave him another reassuring kiss before making my way upstairs.
X
As soon as I reached my bedroom I wanted nothing more than to walk down the hall and make sure Caroline was alright. I knew her, inside and out, and this latest event would have her internalising every little moment and feeling nothing but guilt. But she needed time to process things, she always did, and I had to be patient enough to give her that time. I changed out of my work clothes and had a nice long hot shower. I had hoped the events of the day would wash off me but when I got out I still felt the stress clinging to my muscles. I changed into my workout gear, contemplating a run, but settled instead for curling up on my bed with Jane Austin. I needed an escape for a few hours, and classic literature always seemed to carry me away.
It was just after six when I heard a light wrap on my door. I placed my book on the bedside table and strode across the hardwood floors to open it. To my delight, Caroline Forbes stood biting her lip on the other side, and I was grateful that she had calmed down so quickly. I beamed at her and opened the door wide, walking back across the room to sit on the sofa to let her know I wanted her to come inside. She followed me tensely, before sitting in the chair on the other side of the room.
"Caroline" I urged her, patting the seat next to me in the hope she would come over. She did, but she was still fidgety, anxious about what my reaction was going to be. She hovered above the sofa before promptly taking a seat when I grumbled at her further. We sat in silence for a few moments, I didn't want to push her, but I was growing impatient with wanting her to know everything was alright.
"I'm so sorry Elena" She finally said, her voice strained with guilt
"For goodness sakes Caroline you don't need to apologise" I comforted, placing my hand on her knee. "I'm not angry, I never was. I've just been worried about you. I hate to think of you locked away in your room blaming yourself for something so silly"
"But it's not silly!" She shrieked, her voice cracking with emotion "That's the second time that I have attacked you"
"No actually it's not. You never actually attacked me, if you recall you just came running towards me. No teeth were sunk babes, so it doesn't count" I smirked cheerfully, attempting with all my might to turn the situation into something amusing, but I could tell she wasn't quite there yet.
"It's not funny Elena. It's scary. It's so scary what can happen when I lose control" She told. Tears started falling from her eyes and in that moment my heart broke for my friend. I hadn't been there in the way that I should have been. She had been struggling with the biggest change in her entire life, and I had just glossed over it. I would do better, I promised myself I would do better. Because she that's what she would do for me, and that's what she deserved.
"Yes Caroline it is scary, but did you not see what happened? Yes, you lost control and part of that is because you were, well, in the throes of passion to put it simply. Both Stefan and Damon have told me how difficult it is to control yourself when you're having sex. You've got so many emotions and feelings coursing through your body; they've told me how hard it is for even an older vampire to separate passion from hunger, let alone one who is barely a week old." I was becoming increasingly frustrated that I was the only one who seemed to be impressed by her ability to regain control so quickly. "So yeah, you did come at me, but as soon as I called your name and you stopped for a second, you were able to switch it off, you were able to take over the wheel again. And I'm so amazed at you for that. You should be proud of yourself"
"I should be proud of myself that I didn't kill my best friend?" She asked angrily
"Yes! You should!" I replied with a huge grin "This isn't a normal situation Care. Things are different in our lives now, especially for you, and I think it's important that you take these little wins and celebrate them. You were incredible down there, honestly. And you're just getting better with each day. I don't think it will take you very long at all to have it under control the way Stefan and Damon do. Just between you and me, I think within a few weeks you'll be an even better vampire than the two of them combined. But on the occasions that you do lose it, even if it's just for a second, you can't beat yourself up about it. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is, or what's going on inside you. But I like to think that I know you better than most people, and I know what you're capable of, even if you don't. I'm sorry if I haven't been here for you in the way that I should have the past week Care. But I'm here now, and I want to help you in any way that I can" I snaked my hands through hers and she gripped it tightly.
"Thank you Lena" She wept. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the tears fall down her beautiful face as I placed my free arm around her shoulders. She sniffled, trying to contain her tears, and I squeezed her shoulders tightly. "I just don't know how I am supposed to do this. If I do get through this initial transition, and that's a big if, what kind of life am I going to have out there?"
"When you get through this, you can have whatever life you want Care. You're still the same person with the same passion and drive, that hasn't changed"
"But everything else has. Don't you understand Elena? How can I have passion and drive for the future when I'm always going to be this? Frozen in time. I can't get married, or have a family. Hell, I'll have to leave Mystic Falls eventually before people realise that I'm not aging. It's easier for the boys, they've got another fifteen/twenty years before people will become suspicious. If I don't start getting crows feet and saggy boobs in the next 8 years people are going to think I'm an alien…"
"No. They'll just think you have an amazing plastic surgeon" I grinned. This comment produced a sly grin from her, and I was happy to know I could make her smile at least a little bit while she was feeling so low. "Okay firstly you're not supposed to get crow's feet and saggy boobs in your early thirties, especially with your genetics. And yeah, alright, you're not going to have the Norman Rockwell white picket fence life that you imagined but maybe you could have something better? I mean, the prospect of immortality is terrifying at best but think of all the extra years you are getting to enjoy your life? You can travel the world, meet all kinds of people, that's really special. Maybe you might not have kids and get married in the traditional sense but there are ways around that. If you meet someone who is just like you, who says you can't tie the knot? And on the kids frontier there's always foster care, adoption, all kinds of ways to raise children without physically giving birth to them."
"And when they start to out-age their mother? Then what?"
"I'm sure that brilliant mind of yours will think of something Caroline Forbes" I smiled at her "The point is, this is not a path that you chose, and it's certainly not a path I would have chosen for you, but that doesn't mean it has to be a death sentence. You can still have a fulfilling life, even if it's not the one you had imagined for yourself. Besides, it could be worse. You could have been turned when you were 50; and who wants to live forever with wrinkles? At least you'll have pore less skin and a tight ass for eternity" This induced a laugh from her and I could feel the tension from her body starting to lift. She threw her arms around me and brought me into a hug that was almost a little too tight for my human frame, but I was thankful that I had managed to cheer her up.
"I love you Lena" She whispered into my hair
"I love you too Care. And I promise you, I'm here for you no matter what. Or no matter how many times you try to kill me. I'm not going anywhere" I worried that it might be too early to make the murder joke again but the laugh that escaped her throat told me she was coming around. However, when she pulled out of my hug her face had been taken over with concern.
"I know you're not, and I love you for that. But I want you to promise me you're going to be careful"
"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not scared of you Care. I know you're not going to hurt me" I cooed.
"It's not just me that I'm worried could hurt you" She told gravely "It's Damon"
"Oh Caroline, come on!" I began to argue. This was the last conversation I had expected to have with her, but it felt like one I was continually having with those around me. Ever since he had burst into my life, even before I knew what he truly was, people had been warning me to be cautious with him. But the more I got to know him, the more I knew he would never do anything to hurt me. "With everything that's going on with Katherine Pierce right now you're warning me to be careful with Damon Salvatore? I think he is the least of my troubles"
"Look Elena, I'm not trying to scare you and I'm not trying to create unnecessary drama, but you know from the beginning I was alarmed by this relationship, and now that we not only know what he and Stefan are, but I am one was well, it hasn't done anything to quell my concern"
"Caroline, I'll be the first to admit that things between he and I have not been easy. But trust me when I say that he would never, ever, do anything to put me in danger."
"You say that, but you don't quite understand what he's capable of, and before last week I didn't understand it either. But now, that I'm just like him, and I know what kind of darkness dwells inside, I'm scared for you Elena. I see the way he is with you, how possessive and protective, and I know you think that's a good thing, that it shows how much he cares for you, but trust me when I say it's not. The lengths that he's willing to go to for you and the things he's willing to do to keep you safe in his mind is frightful. And I'm petrified of the day that he takes it too far, and he will take it too far." I knew Caroline had my best interest at heart, she always did, but none of what she was saying was making sense. What did she mean by take it too far? "I love you Elena and I want the best for you, believe me when I say that. But you have no idea how hard it is to control a monster that lives inside you. Especially one that is screaming at you to rip someone's throat out and drink them dry"
"No. I guess I don't" I agreed quietly. She was the one gripping my hand tightly for comfort now.
"Just promise me you'll be careful" She told in a silent beg, and all I could do was nod my head.