You've got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue. You've been a lifetime stuck in silence, afraid you'll say something wrong. You've got a heart as loud as lions, so don't let your voice be tame. Baby we're a little different, there's no need to be ashamed. - Read All About It

"Libby, wait, I haven't finished your hair yet!" I called after my little three-year-old helplessly, dropping the hair brush to the carpet. I heard her squeals echoing out of the room and decided that a ponytail was good enough for the day.

Maxon came in with her hanging from his shoulder. She was giggling and playfully hitting his back, asking to be put down. He was tickling her feet and laughing along with her. "Did you lose someone?" he asked, setting her down in front of where I knelt on the floor.

I sighed and kept a firm hand on her shoulder so that she would stay sitting. He dropped one of her dolls into her lap and stood with his hands on his hips. "Do you have the schedule from Silvia of events this week?"

"Yes, I do." I told him. "She gave it to me yesterday. Although I don't know why we need it. Your father is probably going to change his mind about retiring just like he did three years ago."

"I think he just didn't want to what with everything going on between him and Mom back then. He needed something to do besides wallow in his own self-pity." Maxon sighed, recalling when his father told him that he'd decided to not retire until Maxon had 'gained more respect from the people.'

I rolled my eyes. "Okay Miss Libby, you may go play; I'm done your hair now." She bounded off, her doll in tow. Maxon took my hand and helped me up, surprising me by pulling me in for a tight hug.

We kissed passionately for several moments and then he pulled away. "I had a thought."

"Oh, it's a miracle!" I exclaimed, cutting him off.

He smirked and tried to hide a laugh. "Yes, yes, it is quite miraculous. Anyway, I had a thought this morning. While I was watching you sleep and Libby sleep…maybe it is time for us to have another baby."

"Maxon." I sighed, turning my face away and already starting to retreat.

"Why not?" he challenged, tugging on my hands. "America, it's been a year since the miscarriage. We can't live in fear of it happening again our entire lives."

The miscarriage. Here he was, talking about it again. Our son, malformed and kept from my eyes when he was born four months early. Maxon had seen him and promptly taken him from the room so that I would not have to bear witness to our dead child. Yes, it had been a year…but I still didn't feel ready. "And if it does happen again? What then?"

He heard the sadness in my voice but he pressed on, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Ames," he used my nickname, hoping to provoke something in me to get me to agree, "we won't know until we try. I promise, if it doesn't work this time we can give up but please…"

"I'll think about it." I told him sternly and he understood, after three years of marriage, that me thinking about it was one step closer to a yes and three steps away from a no.

And I did think about it. Much to Silvia's dismay, I was distracted for the rest of the afternoon. I spent my lunch hour in my study making a pro-con list that ended up being four pages long of pros and only a half-page of cons.

I received a note from Maxon saying that he had business he had to take care of and he instructed me to get ready for bed without him and to not wait up for him. I got Libby ready for bed. She was still too young to get herself ready for bed and fussed through most of it. "Mommy, I don't want to go to bed." She whined.

I shook my head. "I know, but it is past your bedtime and we have a big day tomorrow. Aunt May and Aunt Kenna and Uncle Kota and Uncle Gerad…and mom-mom and pop-pop. Your cousins are coming too." I reminded her. "You can stay up later tomorrow but tonight I want you to go to bed early."

She pouted. "Where's Daddy?" she asked me, letting me slide her nightgown over her head.

"He's doing work. You know he's been busy lately."

"I didn't get to see him at all today."

My heart felt heavy as I was overwhelmed by the truth of her words. I froze for a few seconds before moving behind her to braid her long red hair. "You got to see him at dinner."

She shrugged. "But he wasn't talking to me. Did I do something bad?"

"Oh no, honey! Daddy isn't mad at you. He's just stressed. He has a big job to do and a lot of people he has to take care of and right now it isn't so easy to take care of them." I told her. "Daddy loves you very much. You know that."

"But he hasn't talked to me." She insisted, jumping into her bed. Tears gathered in her brown eyes. I wiped them away with my fingers.

"Don't cry baby." I whispered, sitting next to her on her bed. "We both love you very much. Okay?"

She nodded and sniffed. "Can you sing?"

"Yeah." I breathed. She rolled over on her side and hugged her teddy bear to her chest. "Be still and know that I am with you, be still and know that I am here. Be still and know that I am with you, be still, be still, and know…when darkness comes upon you and covers you with fear and shame, be still and know that I am with you and I will say your name." Her eyes were closed and her breathing was calm. I knew that getting her to go to bed would be difficult but once she was in bed she would go out like a light.

"I love hearing you sing that song." Maxon said from the door. I snuffed out the lamp next to her bed, the only light coming from the luminaire in the corner of her room. I met him at the door and looked back at her sleeping form and was saddened all over again. "Can you come walk with me in the gardens?" he asked, extending his hand.

I nodded. "Of course." I agreed, pulling the door to Libby's room shut behind me. "You finished early?"

"Actually, I have an idea about this war that I need to run past you." He told me.

I sighed. "First, the conversation I just had with Libby made me really sad. It's weighing heavily on me."

"What was it about?" he asked, sensing my somber mood and wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"She's upset because you haven't been talking to her. She thinks that she did something wrong and you're mad at her. Of course I explained to her that you're not and she's ridiculous for even considering that. But it makes me sad hearing that she thinks you don't love her." I recounted.

He frowned and opened the door to the gardens for me. "She's right though. I mean, I love her more than anything – except you, of course – but I've been so busy. And really I haven't been able to spend as much time with you as I've wanted to. But I promise, this week I'm completely devoting myself to our family."

I recognized his tone. It was the same one he used when there was something big he needed to tell me. "Which brings me to this idea I wanted to discuss with you." He motioned for me to sit on our bench. "You're going to hate it." He warned.

"Then why are you discussing it with me?" I asked, laughing nervously.

He sighed. "Because it will have a pretty big impact on both of us." He paused and collected his thoughts. "We're getting desperate for more men to join the military for the country. The volunteer idea was great at first and I'm not saying that it's failing but right now, the war in New Asia is just too deadly for men to willingly enter themselves into it. So, they need a rallying point. I've talked to my father and advisors about it and they've agreed it is what's best for the country. I'm going to go fight."

I started shaking my head. "No. No, Maxon, you can't."

"It's what is best. My father actually agreed with me on that."

I laughed darkly. "Yes, because your father has always known what's best for you." I said sarcastically. "Maxon, you're almost the king; your father shouldn't even be privy to this stuff anymore."

"I told you darling, my father won't cease to control things until he is dead or until I can find a way to get rid of him." He said patiently.

I paused for a few moments. "Do you have any ideas?"

"A few. But you have to understand that for them to work, absolutely no one can know about them." He saw the betrayal in my eyes. "You know I trust you wholly but I explained to you before that sometimes I have to place the betterment of the country before you and our children."

I nodded. "You can't give me even a small hint? Is there already a plan in place?"

"More or less." He gave me a sly smile and stood up, taking my hand. "Now, let's go get you in bed." He draped an arm around my shoulder.

I reached up and held the hand by my shoulder. "But I'm not even tired." I whined, imitating Libby.

He shook his head and smiled flirtatiously. "I can assure you madam that we will be doing very little sleeping tonight. I hope you are well rested."

Laughing, I kissed the back of his hand. "Always."

Up in our bedroom, I waited for him to brush his teeth and change in our bed. When we came back into our room he was holding something in his hands. "I've been waiting to give this to you since we were engaged." He sighed, sitting down on the bed. I curled up next to him and watched him stroke the velvet box. He had a bad habit of giving me more jewelry than I would ever be able to wear but I wasn't complaining. "This ring has been worn by all of Illéa's queens and is very precious to my family. I hope you will always wear it and let it serve as a reminder for your love of this country."

"Maxon, do you have to give a speech for every piece of jewelry you give me?"

He laughed and took out the ring. It was silver with the Illéa emblem on the sides and a red stone in the middle. "You wear it on the middle finger of your right hand." It was pointless for him to say that since he was the one putting it on my finger.

I sat for a few moments, admiring the ring and thinking about my day. "So, with you leaving, I guess a baby wouldn't be a good idea."

"I'll be back before you know it."

I looked away. "There's so much that could happen." I whispered, voicing my fears.

He nodded. "I know. But in the event that something did happen, I would want to leave you with a piece of me. Something that could keep you going, even on days you don't think you have the strength to."

I frowned. "You're talking like you're already gone."

"Nothing is going to happen to me." He promised. "Three months, tops. Then I'll have a large portion of my military time out of the way. When I get back I'll assume my role as king. You'll be elevated to queen in a couple days as will I but for now, you'll have to serve as the king and queen."

Taking a deep breath, I looked at him sadly. "That's not helping your case for a baby. Look, I have Libby who is growing up to be more like you every day. She can help me through anything that I may or may not have to go through. A baby would just add burden to a load that is already becoming too heavy to bear."

He nodded in agreement. "Very well then. A baby is out of the picture." He paused and smiled. "But I'd still like to wildly make love to all night."

I laughed. "You're so dumb."

He rolled so he was hovering over me. "I love you, Queen America Schreave."

"I love you, King Maxon."

So I had this one half-done and figured I may as well add it before I leave. Please review, y'all have been slacking lately!