I'm really sorry, I had every intention of having this chapter up yesterday. I had it typed and everything but I didn't get around to proof reading it. But, at least it's up now. The next one most likely won't be up until the weekend, same schedule as usual.

I realize that there is a startling lack of Near in this story but he's gonna show up again soon, and we've also got another guest appearance from Linda, I'm not sure if she pops up again, oh well. Chapter 22 is gonna be more of Mello's musings than Matt's, so there you go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note

Matt was in the washroom, installing a new mirror. He'd broken the first one in the third week he'd moved in. It had shattered completely and he'd spent a half hour picking glass splinters from his knuckles as a result. He was unproductive until they'd healed, unable to type or even light his cigarettes properly.

He had no issue with the broken mirror, he didn't like looking at himself aside from checking to see how dark the circles under his eyes were. He could just do that in the reflection from his computer, or his phone, so the loss of the bathroom mirror wasn't a big deal. But Mello had bitched about it because he couldn't see his scar, and also because he was as high maintenance as they came. Matt suspected that Mello had other reasons for wanting the mirror, but he wasn't going to press.

It had been a little over a week since Mello woke up, he was already able to walk a little on his own. He wasn't eating a much as Matt would have liked, but he was drained enough as it was and even if he wanted to fight Mello about it, he couldn't bring himself to. In all reality, he was just happy that Mello was alive.

They hadn't talked much since. Matt had gotten in a few kisses, even fell asleep beside him once in that time. He knew Mello wanted to get back to whatever it was he was doing before he got blown up. But he wasn't fully healed yet. He was still in bandages and the warped skin from the burn wasn't done healing yet. He could only take those few steps on his own before he had to stop and even sitting up and swinging his legs over the bed knocked the air from his lungs.

Matt stepped back and nodded at his reflection, not bothering to smile at it. He leaned against the counter and moved his goggles off of his eyes. They weren't as bright as they used to be, that much was obvious, the green seemed flat. He was paler to, and the shadows beneath his eyes stood out in comparison.

"Well, you could be worse," he said, watching his lips from the words.

Somehow, it didn't look right.

Sighing, Matt turned off the light and left the bathroom. Mello was in the living room, laying on the floor in front of the balcony, letting his wounds breathe.

"Hey, Mells, the mirror's up if you wanna' go take a look," he said, offering his hand down to Mello

Mello accepted the gesture but once he was on his feet, he walked alone, hugging the wall in a not so subtle manner as he made his way to the bathroom. Matt didn't offer to help further. The first time he had, Mello had proved his strength by throwing a boot at him. He'd missed of course, the boot had thumped into the door, nowhere near Matt at all, but he'd smiled when Mello's back was turned. It proved he'd not changed all that much after all.

A few minutes passed and Mello had yet to return. Somewhat worried, Matt tried not to run back to the bathroom.

"Mells? You okay-"

Mello was on his knees in front of the sink, his fingers loosely gripping the counter. He was breathing heavily and his head was bowed.

Without thinking, Matt moved to sit behind him, putting his arms around his torso. Gently, he pulled Mello away from the counter until his fingers fell away and thudded to the floor. Shifting back until he hit the wall, Matt spared one of his hands to take Mello's. Through it all, Mello said nothing, he was limp as a rag doll, nearly dead weight. He felt Mello shiver slightly and his head lolled back so it was resting against Matt's shoulder.

The position was a little awkward, Mello was just the slightest bit taller than Matt, the main difference was in their legs, but Mello's were bent awkwardly, pushing his body farther up. Matt was more or less supporting his weight, trying to keep Mello from sliding. Not to mention that the bathroom wasn't all that big. But he managed. Tilting his head, he pressed a kiss to Mello's neck but stayed quiet, waiting for Mello to break the silence.

Eventually, he did.

"Matt?" his voice wasn't as rough as it had been when he woke up, but he still rasped like he was gargling thumbtacks.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you save me?"

Of all the things Matt had been expecting, that certainly wasn't it. He'd expected an ornery 'get up' or a hostile 'let go of me, I don't need your help'. But no, not that at all. He tried to collect his thoughts, which was easier said than done.

"I was there, you were there. I spent years wondering if you were okay, if you were alive. And then, you were just- you were there, granted, you were half dead, but you were there, and you were alive, and I had to. I still love you, even if I don't know you as well as I used to. And even if you've done some pretty bad shit. I'm just glad you're alive."

He felt Mello shake and thought he was crying until he heard the laughter.

"Even if I've killed people? Even if I killed someone with my bare hands, because I have. I've done that, Matt. How the hell is anyone supposed to love a murderer?"

"I've killed people to you know, shot them. So, I don't know, you tell me."

They sat on the floor for a while. It was cramped and Matt's legs were starting to lose feeling, but Mello had yet to protest being held so he wasn't about to complain.

"Hey, Mells?"

"What?"

Matt had gotten him to eat earlier, so Mello was in somewhat of bad mood. They sat in the kitchen, Matt was cutting Mello's hair while the blond was reading through an article on one of Matt's laptops.

"When we were talking, and I said that I still loved you-"

"Changing your mind?" Mello cut in, blindly setting the laptop on the counter but not moving otherwise.

"No, no of course not. I just," Matt snipped at an extra long lock and set down the scissors before brushing out Mello's hair, "I was just wondering if you still loved me, I mean, you didn't really respond."

Deeming Mello's hair not ruined anymore, Matt put down the brush and pulled Mello's hair into a loose ponytail. It was by no means perfect, it was kind of uneven, but it would have to do. He picked up the small broom and the dustpan, sweeping up Mello's hair and dumping it in the trash while he waited for his response.

"I don't know, Matty. It's been a while. And I can't- we've both changed and I don't know if- Anyways, it's not really a priority, I have to catch Kira-"

"Beat Near you mean," Matt cut in, glad that he couldn't see Mello's face because, surely, the bond was displaying an ugly sort of anger on his burned features.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means, Mells," Matt leaned against the counter and put on his goggles, hiding behind them really. "You care that L died, I don't doubt that, but you're more mad at the fact that he didn't choose a successor, so you're trying to prove that you're better than Near. That's why you're doing this, and you know that."

Matt wasn't sure what had compelled him to say all that, but it felt good to some extent. To lay it out all so he wouldn't convince himself otherwise.

Mello stood up, turning to face Matt. He was right, Mello's features were contorted in fury.

"Don't think for a minute that you know what I'm thinking or why I'm doing any of this-"

"Oh, really?" Matt scoffed, a bitter laugh leaping through his lips, "Do you really think I don't know? You're an open book, Mello. Did you forget all the time we spent together? All the time at Wammy's? I know you, Mello. I've talked you out of nightmares, I slept at your side, holding you and comforting you, for years, we grew up together and I know you okay? You're just going to have to deal with that."

They stared. Mello's eyes full of loathing and confusion, Matt's of hurt and longing.

Mello was the first to crack. He let out a strangled scream and turned around, stalking to the bedroom and slamming the door shut. He would probably collapse on the bed due to physical exhaustion.

Matt sighed and hopped up onto the counter. He hadn't expected them to fight so soon. Hadn't expected Mello to have descended that far yet. Mello hadn't even answered his question, not really. Besides that, he'd convinced himself that his rage fueled vendetta against Near was really an avenging mission for L.

He sighed again and resigned himself to sleeping on the couch.

"Okay you red headed little twit, let's see if this works."

Linda had only left Wammy's a few days ago, after drawing the pictures for the Task Force guys, she'd hightailed it out and set herself up in the U.S. It seemed to be the flocking ground for Wammy's House runaways and she figured it wasn't a streak for her to break. Matt had taught her a bit about computers and all she had to do was figure out where he would go, then make a few calls. See if anyone knew anything about a genius hacker. Most likely a smoker, wore stupid orange goggles. Asking about Mello would be easier, especially with the information that Bethany had swiped from the car the Task Force guys came in.

With the world in the mess it was in now, no one was going to think otherwise about a cute girl asking around for some boys.

She wasn't going to make real contact, she just wanted to make sure they were both alive, make sure they both knew what was going on. It wasn't really her fight, she could have easily washed her hands of the two, but she didn't.

Before leaving Wammy's, she'd snuck into Roger's office and perused the files boxes for information on Near, Mello and Matt. Each child at Wammy's house had a single picture taken of them when they arrived and it was given to them to do with what they pleased. At some point in time, each of them had done something with it. Linda had covered hers in layers and layers of acrylic paint after soaking it in bleach to disfigure her image. Matt had shredded his then set it on fire. Mello had hidden his, and no one knew what happened to Near's.

Though, there was talk that Near had found Mello's picture and taken it with him, maybe predicting that the Task Force would come around. How he would know, Linda wasn't sure. She was half convinced the kid was psychic.

When Linda found the files, she gleaned a bit of information. For one, Wammy's funding came from a secure banking account belonging to Mr. Wammy. Each kid had access to a certain amount, attainable only when they decided to leave Wammy's, or if there was a previously worked out circumstance. If one of them became L, they're section of the funding would be transferred.

She knew Matt wasn't stupid enough to leave a trail but Mello might have been. With the reports from Bethany, Linda at least had an area to work with. She could get into housing records for the past years, and track purchases she knew Matt might buy. If Mello was stupid and withdrew from the Wammy fund, Linda might be able to trace him further.

But that was a few days ago and Linda was set up in West Covina, not a big city, but not small and off radar. Linda didn't do off radar. She'd bribed a low level member she heard from on an obscure message board to get her Matt's number. Currently, she was waiting on the man to get back to her.

Linda was staying in an out of the way hotel until her apartment papers went through and she'd spent the better part of her day attempting to get rid of her accent.

Obviously, Matt was alive, there was no way that there was another hacker who wore orange goggles in broad daylight. She'd not heard if a blond was with him. Apparently, the men that Matt worked for never actually met him. They'd just call him up and wire money to a bank they owned. Matt had a low level runner pick it up and drop it off at a specified location where he'd pick it up later. None of them were actually willing to give her his number though, so she'd taken to bribery. The man she'd contacted hadn't heard anything about any blonds heading any groups lately either.

Around six p.m., Linda heard a double knock at her door, alerting her to the man who was supposed to deliver Matt's number. She'd waited twenty seconds before getting up to retrieve the sticky note stuck to the outside of the door.

She'd darkened her hair before leaving Wammy's and she'd already found a payphone nearby. It had been hellish trying to find the damn thing but it was as close to untraceable as she was going to get. Once she changed her clothes and memorized the number, she tore up the note and washed it down the sink.

Currently, Linda was at the payphone, hoping that her plan would go off without a hitch. She dialed the number and the second she heard an apathetic 'yeah' she started talking.

"It's Linda, don't ask. Just wanted to say a few things. One, if Mello is with you, tell him that Near has his picture. Two, I'll be using a low level guy to get you some papers that Beth swiped from these two Japanese dudes that stopped by. He'll leave them in the place you go to pick up your pay. They have a sketch of Mello's and Near's faces as well. From what I've found out, this whole Kira mess is not going to end well, so please, try to stay safe."

"Wait! Linda-"

She hung up the phone and walked back to the hotel.

"Linda? Why'd she call you? How'd she even get your number?"

Matt had been checking on Mello's burns when his phone went off. At first, he'd assumed that it was the guy who'd asked him to check the site. But it had been a shock to hear Linda's voice on the other line. Then came the torrent of information she'd given him, add to that the promise of files that were stolen from incompetent Task Force members. The very very same men who'd been at the base he'd found Mello in.

Not only that but Near of all people had Mello's picture and the fucking Task Force had a sketch. He knew that Linda was the only one in Wammy's capable of sketching Near and Mello's likeness. But, he also knew that Linda wouldn't give them exact replicas.

"Linda's out of Wammy's, she's here apparently, call was relatively local. She wanted to tell me a few things. Apparently, the Task Force has a sketch of you and Near, and Near has your Wammy's picture. Remember Bethany? She got some files from their car when they were at Wammy's and Linda's getting a guy to bring them here."

Mello was quiet.

The two hadn't exactly made up after their fight, not verbally anyways. Mello had come out of the room at around two in the morning. He shook Matt awake and nodded to him then returned to the room, Matt following.

Mello let him sleep next to him again without much fuss.

"So," Matt began, "What's the next move?"

"Wait for the guy. Then get my picture back from Near. We'll need to get proper supplies and set up before all that thought," Mello decided.

"Your burns are healing well, but you're still pretty messed up, your ribs are kind of busted, you know? I don't think you should be trying to-"

"Everyone wants this over as soon as possible Matt, we can't afford to wait."

Matt blinked slowly, staring unabashedly.

"What?"

"Nothing," Matt said quietly. He put down his phone and went back to applying burn cream to Mello's back.

"Right, nothing my ass," Mello muttered.

Matt left Mello alone for the hour it took to collect the papers and a few hours later he was settled down on the couch, getting ready to work. He spent the rest of his day at his computer, gathering general information on Near's SPK and the Task Force headed by the fake L. Mello knew Japanese better than Matt did, so he translated the files to English, occasionally telling Matt to put something down. The files would be kept but having a digital copy was never a bad idea.

When Matt finally convinced Mello to sleep, he gave him another pain killer and hung up his goggles on the bed post. A pleasant smile stretched his lips when he saw Mello's rosary hanging on the opposite. Mello was already lying down, hands resting on his stomach, eyes closed. Matt knew he wasn't asleep, but he was close, so he kissed his forehead and laid down next to him.

He tried not to pull Mello into his arms, tried not to kiss him again or lay on his side and stare. Matt forced himself to train his gaze on the ceiling and keep his hands off his once boyfriend. Mello had changed, obviously, but he was still Mello, and Matt wasn't about to let him go again. But he had to, at least until Mello gave him an answer.

If Mello said yes, that was fantastic. Matt would try his damndest to keep him from all manner of Kira nonsense.

But if Mello said no, that was going to be a lot more difficult.

And Matt wasn't an idiot, he knew which response was more likely.