GUYS! I had the best day today! So first of all I didn't have to work, which is always good. The weather is PERFECT, 73 and sunny! Then I voted and since I went at like 11:00 there were no lines. Then I went to get gas and it was down to 1.96 and it only took me 27.00 to fill up my car (and can I just wax poetic about my car for a minute....I love it. It's a 2007 Mercury Milan and it is the best car ever! SOOOO comfy and it has a sunroof and an ipod hook up built in. All in all it's way better than my old car was, but I digress) which is a total miracle. THEN this is the best part. The girl at the pump next to me was having a blow out on the phone with someone (boyfriend I'm guessing) and the conversation went like this:

"Why would I be hiding anything"

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"Why are you screaming?"

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"He's old, bald and married!"

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"Why are you screaming?"

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"Well if I was hiding something why would I tell you?!"

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"This relationship is over! I'm telling you that right now. This relationship is the fuck over!" (which is poor grammer, but hey she said it, not me)

And then she hung up. And I had to try really hard to not laugh.

THEN! I got home and there was a deer in my front yard. Which is insane because I don't exactly live in a rural area (15 mins from downtown Cleveland). I normally have to take a nice drive to see any form of wildlife (I have to board my horse a half hour away just to be somewhere that has more than a 1/4 of an acre of land) So that was pretty cool. I mean it was SO CLOSE I could have practically touched it.

And it's only 12:53.

Okay I totally promise this is the LAST TIME I will use the beginning of a chapter to tell you all about my personal stuff (at least I'll really really try!)

Chapter title taken from the song "The Twist" by Frightened Rabbit from the album "The Midnight Organ Fight"

Quil & Claire: October 31 2:22 AM

Quil's lips were burning a hot trail along Claire's collarbone, following her jaw line, his lips brushing against her cheek. He pulled back abruptly at the tears he tasted on his tongue.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Claire shook her head. "Mmhmm."

"No you're not okay, Claire, you're crying."

"I'm not crying," Claire said, her voice tight.

Quil brushed her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, wiping away her tears. "Yes you are."

Claire buried her face in her hands and let out a choked sob. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry that 'sorry' is such an insignificant word right now."

Quil moved off of Claire to lay next to her. "You have no reason to be sorry. At all," he told her firmly. "If anything I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to do this."

Claire pulled her hands from her face. "No, you didn't," she said vehemently. "I want to, I really, really want to…..at least I wanted to."

"Claire we don't have to. It's not that big of a deal." Quil tried to reassure her.

"It is though! It is a big deal. And now I feel so stupid! Because I want this….I want you. But, I'm scared." A fresh wave of tears spilled from her eyes. "God I'm such an idiot." Claire wiped furiously at the tears.

"Baby, you're not an idiot. I'm the idiot. We should have talked about this. I shouldn't have made you feel-"

"You didn't make me feel like I had to do anything! I told you that. I really thought I was ready. But now I'm not so sure." Claire took a shuddering breath. "Do you hate me?"

"No, I could never hate you." Quil cupped Claire's face with his hand. "Our relationship is so much more than just physical. I know I didn't really show you that today, and I'm sorry. I only want you to be happy. We can wait. There is no reason to rush this stuff."

Claire averted her eyes away from Quil's. "This is really embarrassing."

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about."

Claire sighed. "I'll bet you never expected this," she gave a weak laugh.

Quil smiled. "To be honest, I never expected you to forgive me so quickly. So I'm pretty much ahead of the game at this point."

Claire looked back at him, her eyes pleading. "I really am sorry."

Quil shook his head. "Claire, I will never ever make you do something you don't want to. If it means waiting another ten years I'll do it."

Claire's eyes widened. "Let's not be ridiculous. I mean I've hit a little bump in the road here, I don't think it's going to last ten years."

Quil laughed. "You know what I mean."

Claire nodded. "I know."

Quil reached down and grabbed Claire's shirt from the floor. "Here," he said softly.

She gave him a shy smile. She slowly pulled her shirt on then looked at him. "This has probably never happened to you before, huh," she muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"A girl throwing herself at you and then telling you no."

"Umm, you just described my entire high school experience," Quil said with a smile.

"What about the six sluts?"

"Who?"

Claire made a face. "The other girls you slept with. I have taken to calling them the six sluts."

"Technically it was five," Quil reminded her. "And four of them were girls who said no, then changed their minds later on."

Claire took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something personal?"

Quil shrugged. "Sure."

"I know your number is five. But like…..how many times have you….you know actually done it? Because I have to say it's pretty nerve racking to think about that number."

"It's not as bad as you think. Once with four of them. More so with number five. But it's been ten years. Believe me when I say I'm just a nervous. I'm way out of practice."

"Ugh."

"What?"

"Out of practice? God, that sounds really bad. Plus it makes me hate number five. A lot."

Quil bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"Who was she? Can I ask that?"

Quil lay back on his pillows. "Do you really want to talk about this now? We can just get some sleep."

"Do you not want to talk about it?" Claire asked.

"It's not that. I just don't see why it matters."

"Well I've pretty much made a complete fool of myself tonight-"

"No you didn't," Quil said determinedly.

"Well regardless, I want to know. I want to know why this girl was so special that you kept seeing her after you imprinted on me."

Quil sighed. "It was just physical, it didn't mean anything to me. At all."

"I know, but tell me anyway." Claire curled up against Quil's side.

Quil put his arm around Claire and held her close. "Her name is Haley. She's someone who I was able to talk to and one thing led to another and then we slept together."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long did you see her?"

"Two years."

Claire sat up. "Are you kidding? Two years? That sounds pretty serious to me."

Quil shook his head. "No, it wasn't. It was just…..we both got what we needed out of it. That was all. We never went out on dates or anything."

Claire lay back down and buried her head in Quil's side. "Did you love her?"

"No, I didn't love her. I won't lie to you, I cared about her, but I never loved her. Not like I love you."

Claire pushed her face harder into Quil's side and mumbled. "What if I'm not as good as her?"

"Don't be silly. That won't be true."

"But it might be," Claire said softly.

"Claire, I told you a year ago that being with you will be the most special time for me ever. There won't be any comparison. At all. I barely remember what it was like to be with her. It is the furthest thing from my mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Claire, aside from the fact that you're my soul mate…..I've never been with anyone that I loved. That right there is what makes our relationship so special."

"Okay," Claire whispered. She yawned and snuggled closer to Quil.

"Let's get some sleep, okay?" Quil said quietly.

Claire nodded, her eyes already closing.

Quil kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes as well.

They lay, cuddled together, and for the moment that was all Quil needed.