New chapter inspired by 'Unsteady' from the newest album by X Ambassadors. If you like the song, be sure to check out the version of the song with additional strings that was used for the film "Me before you". Anyway: enjoy reading!

xXx

In 2005 a 76 year old woman was found not guilty after murdering her demented husband. He had physically abused her for over 50 years and all the couple's children as well as all their acquaintances testified in the woman's favour. In 2017 an actor stated he was sorry about his sexual harassment of a 14 year old boy. He had found the boy in his bed, had been drinking that night and was conflicted about his sexuality that day.

Those stories are in no way comparable except for the fact that they had one proportion of society talking about 'extenuating circumstances' and another about 'excuses'. Either way when we do horrible things we call context into play, because circumstances do matter to us.

xXx

If you love me
Don't let go

xXx

Four days later

"Here are the signatures," Elena announced proudly, dropping some folders on Ric's desk. She had just convinced two highly placed officials to no longer block the school complex Saltzman & Partners planned in the neighbourhood.

Ric opened the folder and examined it "Evan Thomas," he read, "wasn't that the guy with his over-my-dead-body-speech in the newspaper?" Ric wondered. "Yes, he was," Elena replied, eyes still shining with her sense of accomplishment. "Over-my-endangered-re-election was actually what he truly meant," she added with a smirk.

"Good job," Ric grinned. "You're quite something when you put your mind to it, aren't you?" he complimented her. Elena's smile was just a little wider than what she'd wanted to put on display for Ric, but she couldn't help it. There were a million and one worries racing through her head these days and that feeling that she had at least managed to do one thing right, was just a little light brightening a pretty grim couple of days.

"Speaking of your success… Damon could really use you on the RUBIC-project. Today there's a meeting with all the stakeholders and we both think you could be of great help," Ric announced casually.

Don't. You're doing great. The voice in the back of Elena's mind warned her to steady herself. She fought to not seem caught off guard as she replied almost instantly, perhaps even a little too fast: "All the arguments he needs are in this folder," she informed Ric, handing him over the blue documents she'd written for Damon. "You could give them to him yourself and explain how the information is structured. You could help him prepare," Ric suggested.

"I wish I could," she replied evenly, "but I'm expecting some trouble from the neighbours on this one, so I'm going to do a little tour there today to get ahead of problem," Elena explained.

"Won't there be neighbourhood representatives present tonight at the stakeholder meeting?" Ric questioned.

"Only two of them. Probably the two whitest, most moderate, most middle aged men they could find. They don't represent the worries of that neighbourhood, all they represent is who the board is most comfortable talking to," Elena insisted.

"Okey. You're right I guess. Good thinking," he agreed, "try to make it to our meeting tonight in the main conference room, though, we could really use you there, alright?" he added, giving her a meaningful look.

"I'll try!" Elena commented swiftly, already on her way to the door now.

As she entered the hallway a familiar smell greeted her. Damon's deodorant. Damon was already in the building apparently, probably not even that far away. It threatened to shatter her perfectly poised expression for a singular moment. Then she moved the thought to the back of her mind. No, there would be none of that unhinged bullshit today. They had to move on and they would. They were grown-ups after all.

She walked right up to the office she shared with him. "Good morning," he greeted her, he gave her a polite nod. He was trying to be kind with his feelings locked in a deep corner of his mind, she couldn't help but notice. "Hey," she replied just as gently. To anyone else their interaction might have looked like pleasant conversation. In truth there was nothing pleasant about this for either of them.

"Are you helping me prepare for tonight," Damon questioned in a forced manner. The struggle to make his tone of voice neither warm nor formal brought a whole new level of awkwardness to the moment.

"No, I am going to talk to some neighbours to avoid the trouble we ran into with the previous project," Elena explained as she turned around to grab her things.

Before Damon could catch himself a soft sigh of relief escaped his lips unwillingly. Elena turned around defensively, yet before she could open her mouth Damon stopped her train of thought, "I'm sorry," he enunciated clearly. He wanted her to understand that he didn't want her gone, he just… he wanted some room to breathe where the air was not as thick with tension.

"We will figure this out," Damon added, his voice quite void of its usual confidence. It did not sound like a promise, but more like defeat. "You don't even believe that yourself," Elena wanted to bring in. She stopped herself in time yet again. This was not the time to shout, they had done enough of that already. It wasn't them, it were the circumstances. She felt the strength she'd been displaying all day weaver. In that moment she just wanted to be in his arms, that place that had become home again over the previous couple of weeks. But she couldn't. She had to let go. This was growing up. This was moving on.

xXx

Hold
Hold on
Hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
a little unsteady…

xXx

Preparing for her next appointment on a bench in the neighbourhood park Elena felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. Dad, she hoped. She'd called him in a wild rage three days earlier and he had not gotten back to her ever since. She checked her phone. It wasn't him. Of course it wasn't him. He was a coward. Cheating on his wife, abandoning his first daughter, forgetting his second one in the arms of his mid-life-crisis skank of a new lover… and still Elena missed him terribly. In the end every child just wants to be loved by their parents, no matter the circumstances.

Elijah Mikaelson – 15:17

"Are you doing ok?
If you want to talk, I'm here. You know that right…"

Elena huffed. Even if she would've wanted to talk, it would not have been with him. She felt a bitterness grab hold of her when remembering his words "Elena, you have to try and understand her a little… Your father left her when she was five, her mother drank…" Blah, blah, blah… Katherine was the product of a man that had neglected not one but two daughters and a woman who had personally destroyed her relationship with Damon the first time around. That product was now destroying the lives of a five-year-old child and the man she loved. Elena had no understanding, not for Katherine and even less for Elijah, who was clearly sleeping with the enemy from where she was standing.

Elena Gilbert – 15:20

"Screw you."

Damn it. This wasn't her. Undo, undo, UNDO. It was no use, the message was out. Aaaaahhgggrrr, why did everything have to be so difficult. She didn't even curse like that. She didn't even mean it.

Elena Gilbert – 15:20

"I'm sorry.

I should not have said that.

I'm just tired."

Excuses. The lack of sleep was driving her crazy and nothing seemed to work, everything was falling apart. Damon didn't love her anymore, Sophie wanted her real mother, Caroline was no longer her friend, Elijah had somehow picked the site of the evil sister she never even knew she had, and her father… her father seemed to like her even less than usual. Why couldn't trouble ever come alone?

Elijah Mikaelson – 15:17

"It is going to be alright, Elena."

Tears trailed down her cheek. What was up with the tears this week? Had she always been this much of a wreck? She had not even felt them coming. Why couldn't Elijah just be mad, why couldn't they fight. One more fight. Just to relieve the tiniest bit of pressure. She was about to blow up with no one even around to care anymore.

xXx

Mama, come here
Approach. Appear.
Daddy, I'm alone
'Cause this house don't feel like home
But if you love me… Don't let go…

xXx

The meeting room was only half-lit as Damon and Alaric set-up the beamer and distributed some pens, paper and folders. Forgetting to check his feet, Damon tripped over the laptop adapter. The laptop crashed into the carpet. "You ok?" Ric questioned upon hearing Damon curse out loud.

"Yeah, I don't think it's broken," he replied, setting it back up and checking for damage. "It definitely still works," he confirmed.

"How has it been with you and Elena?" Ric wondered tentatively.

"Bad. What do you want me to tell you, Ric?" Damon quipped back.

"Would you like for me to put pair her with someone else?" Ric suggested, only trying to help.

"No." Damon shot back.

"Ok…" Ric drew, holding his hands up. "Then is there anything else I could do?"

"Well if you cannot not make Elena and Katherine sisters, I do not see what anyone can do…" Damon summarised, the irritation he felt was dripping from every word that came out of his mouth.

"But… does that matter?" Ric tried hesitantly.

"Look, I don't even know! I'm trying to figure that out!" Damon snapped.

"You love Elena, Katherine left, you did not know they were related, they did not know they were related. Do those circumstances really matter when you look at the facts?" Ric drew gingerly.

"Of course they do! Katherine did not just 'leave', Katherine found a box full of memories that basically yelled how much I still loved and still missed her sister. There were pictures, letters, poems… and they were in the very first drawer of my desk, not just in a stuffy box on the attic. She must have felt awful!" If there was one emotion Damon could emphasise with, it was jealousy. "As furious as I am with her, I do get why she wanted to get away from me…" Damon explained. He just hated the impasse he felt he was in.

"I see that, Damon. But she's been away for months now. She made her choice," Ric commented.

"So you suggest that I replace her with Elena, the bane of her existence. Furthermore you would like to let Elena raise the daughter she gave birth do. Wouldn't that be the cruellest thing? How can I do that? How do I explain that so Sophie when she grows up?" Damon wondered exasperated.

"How could Katherine have left her own daughter?" Ric interjected.

"She's a really bad 'communicator'. And we've shared a life for over 5 years now. It's not like I don't understand how she works. I am not sure I can do this to her…" Damon concluded solemnly.

"Because Sophie will take her mother's side when she's 18? Oh come on, Damon. In the mean time she has to be raised. Who would you like to have by your side for that? From what I've heard Elena has been a better mother to her in this single month than Katherine has been these last five years combined!" Ric brought in.

"Just leave it be, Ric. I know all the facts, I know the circumstances. This is difficult enough for me to figure out without everyone forcing their opinions down my throat." Damon accused.

"Fine. Your life. I just wanted to help" Ric bit back somewhat angry.

"Fine."

In silence they prepared the room until everything was set in place for the meeting.

xXx

Hold
Hold on
Hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady

xXx

Five hours later the construction managers, politicians and neighbourhood representatives left the conference room one by one. They seemed positive enough, Elena decided, based on the looks on their faces. She waited in the corner of the hallway until most people had cleared the room. Waste-bin in hand, she entered. It was not uncommon for people to leave a mess at this sort of events.

She was right. Spilled coffee on one table, little empty plastic water bottles on the floor in between the chairs that no one had bothered to put neatly underneath the table upon leaving. While the few remaining stakeholders chatted happily away in front of the room, she cleared the rubbish in the back away.

Oh wow. Someone had had their fun tearing the paper label of the water bottle into over 100 different pieces. She got that people could get bored at meetings, but why they had to act like pigs sometimes was still a mystery to her.

Damon's laughter boomed loudly through the almost empty room. She wanted to know what was funny. Tilting her head towards the group in front, his eyes met hers. They were soft and very charming. They were Damon. She was only making this harder for herself. She quickly cast her eyes back down.

At the next table yet another idiot had left some kind of plastic snippers. They had fallen halfway off the table and were now stuck in the carpet. Mongrels! Elena wanted to mutter. Did those people do that at home too? Leave their chairs halfway across the room, bottles all over the floor, dirt wherever it would fall. And who would spill coffee without even asking anyone a napkin?

The last strangers cleared the room and Ric quickly followed them out, directing the obviously more important stakeholders to the car that would surely bring them to a nice restaurant. Only Damon was still collecting his papers and scribbling down some last notes in the front. He stood right by the laptop table, his body slightly bend downwards to write.

Elena moved right by his desk to close the windows for the night. She had not seen the black cable of the adapter on the dark carpet and stumbled. Damon caught her shoulders in the blink of an eye. It was almost as if he'd known she would fall before she did. As he steadied her she could feel his left leg press softly against her right one. His hands felt warm and comfortable on her skin. She had missed his touch, yet she knew she would soon have to miss it again. When he let go of her the feeling of loss was instant. "Be careful," Damon managed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Too late, Elena thought. Still she wasn't about to ruin the little moment. She moved on to close the window instead.

"You know the company has a cleaning lady, right?" Damon broke the tension, trying to sound casual.

"She's on an extremely tight schedule," Elena replied. "I don't see how she can possibly cover all the floors on a regular day, let alone when we've had a meeting," she stated matter-of-factly.

"It's not your problem," Damon tried to bring in.

"No… but it is hers and she won't say anything because she needs the job, you should talk to Ric," Elena insisted.

"Okey…" Damon drew confused, not quite sure how the topic had come up anymore.

"Thanks, have a great evening," Elena quipped. As her hand reached for the blue folder on the laptop table, Damon's fingers covered hers as he grabbed hold of it too. Elena didn't know if he did it on purpose and if so she didn't even know how she felt about that. "I'd like to have your notes one more day," Damon stated. "It will help me with the write-out of this evening's meeting report," he explained. Elena nodded and let go. "Good evening," Elena cut the conversation short. "Good evening," Damon replied just as evenly.

Then she was gone.

xXx

I know
That you're tired of being alone
I know you're trying
To fight when you feel like flying

xXx

Having parked her car underneath the building, Elena check her phone just to be sure. Her father still hadn't sent anything. Elijah appeared to have given up as well. For a brief moment she pondered calling Damon. Couldn't they talk, even if they were still figuring things out… Apparently they could not, she decided, remembering their interactions at work. It was still too difficult, not just for her, for him as well. Perhaps she could go talk to Caroline in a couple of days, just not right now. That friendship had to be rebuilt first… if Caroline even had room for one more friend after all this time.

It was almost ten o'clock by the time Elena finally arrived in the apartment hallway. All she wanted was a long hot shower and a some Netflix time with her good friends Ben & Jerry. Yet when she entered the hallway there was a woman sitting on top of a small suitcase, looking up from the book she'd been reading.

"Mom?!" Elena shrieked incredulously. "How did you get here?" Elena asked perplexed.

"On a plane, sweetheart," the woman in front of her smiled gently. She closed the book and held her arms wide open. Elena hugged her tightly at once, almost catapulting herself into the waiting arms. And as she was enveloped in comfort of the most familiar smell in her world, heavy sobs shook her body. Two warm arms held on tightly, gentle fingers caressed her back through her jacket.

"It's ok, you're ok," a sweet voice whispered. "Let's first get you inside, alright?" he mom whispered, pulling her towards the elevator.

As they stepped inside, Elena turned her back towards the mirror. She didn't need to see her red swollen eyes and he mess they had made of her face right now. Her mother shook her head slightly as she noticed. "I changed your diapers, I've seen worse," she commented, trying to lighten the mood. Elena smiled briefly through the tears before letting out another sob.

"The house is a mess," Elena stated matter-of-factly.

"I see," her mother grinned. "But that's for later, let's get you in wrapped up in a big fleece blanket," she announced, directly Elena to the sofa in the living room. "Is there some powder for chocolate milk in the house?" she questioned. Elena nodded. "Of course there is," her mother smiled. She prepared a hot cup in the microwave and brought it over to her daughter who was now all bundled up. For a moment she pondered clearing the tissues and starting on the pile of dishes but then she stopped herself. There would be time for that later.

Taking a pillow on her lap, she moved close to her daughter and waited. Knowing Elena the story would come anyhow. She did not have to wait long.

"How did you know?" Elena wondered out loud.

"Your father called," her mother explained. "And he was worried sick I might add!"

"You can call me yourself too whenever you discover that you have an extra sibling, you know that right?" she joked. Elena did not miss the hint of disappointment in her words.

"I was still wrapping my head around it," Elena explained. "I didn't want to worry you when you were miles away…"

"Isn't that what planes are for, darling?" her mother suggested.

"Yeah, but I couldn't ask you to leave your business and…"

"I. Am. Your. Mother." Miranda stated firmly. "There is nothing else in my entire universe that has priority over you! That's something you should have known by now," she chastised her twenty-five year old.

"I'm sorry," Elena said simply.

"It's ok," she replied with a nod. "But I'm here now, what happened?"

"What did dad tell you?" Elena wondered, genuinely curious.

"Not much. I'm still not sure I'm even following. Something about the fact that he had a child with another women and then he realized he was not doing right by either me or his mistress so he left her with a bunch of money and came back to us. That woman turned out to be the same woman that had been targeting our family back when you were starting high school? Is that about right?" her mother asked.

"Did he leave out the part where Damon, my Damon, made a baby with my sister and we were just about to get back together before we found out?" Elena questioned bitterly.

"Wait, what?" her mother asked, extremely confused.

"Do you remember Damon?" Elena questioned, deciding to go step by step instead.

"Yes. The senator's son," her mother confirmed, nodding.

"Well, remember how we broke up over that press incident, apparently caused by father's mistress?" Elena continued.

"Oh Waw!" her mother managed. The truth was finally beginning to to sink in.

"So she has a daughter, together with dad… and after Damon and I had broken up the two of them met, got drunk, made a baby and moved in with one another," Elena further explained the facts.

"And then Katherine was looking for information for an article, and apparently she found out a bunch of things Damon had kept from back when we were together and going through those things she discovered-"

"That Damon had not only never fully let go of you but that you also turned out to be her sister?" Miranda supplemented with a raised eyebrow.

Elena nodded.

"Christ. That's euhm… Oh waw…" her mother had trouble conjuring up a sensible response to it all.

The chocolate milk tasted better than Elena could remember. She gently took another sip, still cuddling her fleece blanket.

"So how are you doing with all of this new information. A sister…" her mother mused.

"DNA does not make a family, mom. We have nothing in common!" Elena stated firmly.

"I know, sweetheart, but aren't you the least bit curious?" her mother pushed gently.

"Honestly… I wish she'd never been born," Elena replied bitterly.

xXx

Over two hours and a third round of drinks later, Miranda and Elena was still wrapped up in conversation. Elena had told her about Elijah, work, Caroline, Sophie, Damon… she could fill hours with all that had happened.

"You still love Damon, don't you?" her mother mused.

"I don't think that matters…" Elena avoided her question.

"But you do," her mother insisted softly.

Fresh, warm tears brimmed in Elena's eyes. They were unwelcome. She wiped them away and kept her voice under control.

"I don't want to think about this anymore," she said simply.

"Do you think Damon loves Katherine?" her mother asked yet another stupidly painful question.

"I think he still cares," Elena replied instead.

"Well I think he still loves you…" Miranda offered.

"You don't even know him!" Elena interjected, kind of frustrated that her mother had this terrible habit of making assumptions just to cheer her up. She didn't know him. All she did was fill her head with wishful thinking and that did not help.

"I don't. But I do know you," Miranda brought in with a proud smile, "And I cannot imagine anyone being able to forget about you in a couple of days…"

"That is because you are my mother!" Elena shot back. "Elijah did just fine forgetting all about me by the way…" With arms crossed in defiance, Elena eyed her mother. She was not a 5 -year-old anymore. This was the time for some constructive advice, not for a kiss to make it all better.

"Elijah called me right after you stopped talking to him. He asked me not to tell you but perhaps you needed to hear that. I see how you're unhappy with him right now, but I honestly think he wanted to do what was best for everyone involved," Miranda explained.

"He called you?" Elena questioned in disbelief.

"Elena, he was at my Sunday dinner table for four years. You cannot be surprised that he still has my number. You two didn't break up all that long ago," Miranda clarified. "But back to Damon, how do you even know he doesn't love you anymore?"

"Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Either way he needed some 'time to think', isn't that that the polite way to say 'let's break up'?" Elena questioned in a low tone of voice.

"I belief 'time to think' means 'time to think', sweetheart… Don't you need a little time to think yourself?" Miranda suggested.

"I already know what I want," Elena disagreed.

"Which is…" Miranda spurred her on to elaborate.

"I just want things to go back to the way they were. I want to comfort him, to help him through all the trouble, I want to be there for Sophie… I just want to be back in their family and now I can't because it would make me a horrible person!" Elena insisted.

"I see that things are complicated. But I don't see how you and Damon being together would make you a horrible person. Damon clearly loved you and wanted exactly what you wanted just a couple of days ago. On top of that Katherine filed for divorce, so she clearly does not to raise Sophie alongside him. Plus like you said: you and Katherine are not sisters, you share some DNA. That's all. Are you even sure Katherine's issue is that DNA and not the fact that her ex is moving on with a girl he loved while the two of them were together?" Miranda sit up a different side of the facts.

"Your father hates just about every man I have dated after him. It's not because they share his DNA or anything, and he obviously knows he cheated on me and I only dated anyone after our divorce. Still he gets jealous and upset," Miranda told Elena, elaborating on her side of the story.

"I know Damon feels guilty that Katherine got this hurt, but do remember that they were not even in love when Katherine got pregnant. From what I've heard I'm not even sure if either of them ever fell in love with the other. Did Katherine even ever try to build a home? If they had worked on a loving relationship perhaps she could have shared her discovery with him instead of running away…"

It was a completely different suggestion than Elena and Damon had considered up until now, but perhaps there was some truth in Miranda's words, Elena thought. Perhaps the difference between her and Katherine was not that Elena's had her father walk out ten years later, perhaps the difference was that Elena had spent weeks trying to build something with Damon, while Katherine had just spend 6 years being around.

"I love you," Elena told him mom sincerely. In her eyes was the first real smile she'd displayed in days. Miranda pulled the fleece bundle Elena had turned into closer, until her daughter was resting comfortably against her side. "I love you more…," she whispered, placing a kiss on the crown of the daughter's head.

"Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?" Elena questioned.

"Well, I could… What's it about?" Miranda questioned.

Before she could ask much more the introduction to the tv show's first episode was already playing. "This is not like Game of Thrones, is it?" Miranda questioned, eyeing Patrick Dempsey's naked behind. "No, no, you'll like it, I promise!" Elena stated enthusiastically. She snuggled a little closer and enjoyed the overwhelming feeling of being home. It might not a be bedtime story like her mother would read her back when she was little, but Grey's Anatomy would do just fine. Miranda simply grinned, hoping her daughter would fall asleep soon enough. She looked tired and worn-out. Well at least she was happier now...

xXx

If you love me
Don't let go

xXx

A terrible past, an overflow of alcohol, a lack of sleep or a very bad day… circumstances do matter, but so do the facts. Although some actions can be explained, they cannot be undone. Hurtful words are still hurtful words no matter in which state they are sent, traumatic experiences can turn into PTSD regardless of what caused an offender to offend. And dead is dead, no matter how unintended, no much how fervently one wishes they could take it back.

xXx

There you go! I'll try to make my outro a little less dark next time. The plot for this chapter and the previous one were written in Norway on a conference in a hotel room without proper heating or daylight so that might have set the mood a little I'm afraid. Either way, thanks a lot for your feedback on the previous chapter and for following/favoriting the story :D

See you next Sunday!