Disclaimer, I don't own it, it's SM's!

AN – There won't be a chapter tomorrow, sorry guys! I have plans that'll keep me occupied all the time, sorry! But it'll be up on Saturday, I think :) Thanks for your reviews etc guys – always means a lot. Sorry that this is such a short chapter, but I'm pretty stressed at the moment, and I haven't really got enough time to get what I want down. There'll be a pretty long chapter up on Saturday, I think – or two short ones! Thanks for your support, guys, and your reviews make me happy. Keep 'em coming!

"Look, Bella, the thing is," Edward paused, hesitant. I nodded curtly, spurring him on, though I kept my expression clipped. "Well, as you know, I've been checking Jasper's thoughts, because Alice and I – and pretty much every one – have been worried. And all I could find was you." His face was grave, as I gasped,

"Me? What do you mean?"

"You." He said, obviously trying to keep his expression under the same control mine had been under – though I knew he was angry. "Always you. Little scattered memories, small things – like you smiling at him or one of us, you singing with him...Some things like you looking out of your window when he was patrolling, things like that. They pop up unexpectedly, and when I search I find they're always there."

"Well what's wrong with those?" I said, trying desperately to stop him from confirming what I already knew. "They're just memories of what he's seen in passing, or, yeah, in passing!"

"Those are memories, yes." Edward's angel face stared down at me, and by now he'd given up on hiding his feelings about the situation. "But then he has thoughts. Thoughts of kissing you. And more. There's countless situations running through his head – there were ones where he jumped through your window and you dropped your towel," I flinched but he didn't seem to notice.

"But I'm not going through the mechanics of that one...and another one where you were kissing up against the kitchen counter...Bella, it's blatant to me, it's staring me in the face." I swallowed. I knew what he didn't – these weren't thoughts, imaginings. These were memories. And now he knew, somewhere, whether he was trying to convince himself otherwise. "He'd been working hard to hide them, but it wasn't easy for him – I've had a lot of practice reading his mind. He's stopped trying to hide it, by now." I nodded, no longer protesting.

"Bella, I think Jasper is in love with you."

"What?!" I screeched. I didn't want to hear this! "Jasper doesn't love me, he loves Alice!"

Edward shook his head. "I know that, Bella. But you know better than anyone that it's possible to love more than one person."

"I DON'T LOVE JASPER!" I shrieked, getting ahead of myself.

"I meant Jacob, Bella."

"Oh." I looked down, feeling the rush of blood to my cheeks. "Edward, isn't it possible that you've jumped the gun a little? Maybe Jazzy just feels close to me because I'm the only one who seems to trust him around me. You warn him not to get close, just like Alice. There's no wonder he thinks about me now and again."

Edward nodded. "Maybe. And I'm sorry I tried to make you talk about it. But I think you jumped the gun a little too, Bella. I never said you loved Jasper." I could tell that I'd really put my foot in it by saying that – it was making him think. And there was very little worse than when Edward got thinking. Edward thinking had made him leave me before.

"Yes, I did jump the gun, just like you. So we're equal now, right? I love it when we compromise." I smiled teasingly at him and pulled him closer to me.

"But we didn't compromise, Bella!" He exclaimed, before I secured him to me, wrapping my arms around his stony neck, almost throwing myself at him. By the time our lips finally met, he was sufficiently silenced.

It hurt me a little to use kissing as a weapon of some sort against Edward. But by the time he broke the kiss again, I was past caring. It was like I was becoming a cold machine, almost. I didn't always care – but of course, I cared some. As Edward drove me home, I fought back tears. He'd made me think about everything that had been going on.

Did I love Jasper? After all, I was starting to think that I liked him a bit more than I had originally thought. But a life without Edward in it was not worth living, I knew from experience. And my wedding was soon. How could I do that, hurt him? I would say goodbye to Jasper, whatever it took. I wouldn't be able to do it for a while though, I realized. Edward wouldn't leave me alone with him, no-one would.

I left him in my room as I got ready for bed, letting the water rush over me. I opened my eyes, and let the water run into them, stinging me as the shampoo worked its way into my eyes. I didn't want to see myself any more. I didn't want to see anything. I began wondering, as I sunk down to the floor of the shower. I was a monster, no doubt about it. And I couldn't even control myself like Edward did. I couldn't control myself like Jacob did. I couldn't control myself like Jasper did. I was as much in control as Bree, the newborn. And soon I would be a newborn. I was selfish, and I wondered what kind of vampire I would make – selfish enough to kill a human? To end a life? To end a life even though I knew from experience the terror that came with knowing you were at your demise?

Edward didn't comment on my red eyes, or my prolonged shower. I slipped under the covers, and he wrapped his arms around me securely. I was safe.

"Sweet dreams, Bella. I love you, beautiful. You'll always be mine, no-one else's. And I'll never leave you. I love you so much, my Bella." I drifted off into a deep slumber in his cold arms, but what he said had shook me, and his words starred in my dreams. In my nightmares. My Bella. Mine, no-one else's.

All of a sudden, the encircling arms I usually welcomed felt like a prison.