Chapter 20: Trust?

Finally the next is here! Yay! *throw confetti*

I tired, I have a headache, so I don't know what else to say about this chapter, so enjoy!

I only own the translation. "Sick" and Litanie belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belong to Mashima.

X_x

The night was peaceful, and the morning began by this usual awkward feeling. Usually he was up before her, and he was watching her, with a mix of anxiety and what he could call now tenderness, as she curled on herself in an attempt to find his gone bodily warmth. Sometimes she was the first awake but she pretended to be still asleep until he moved in turn. After this, she was waiting for him to leave the room. The little Script mage knew that this little ploy was ridiculous, but after all, it was almost amusing in a way. After what they'd been through, what she'd almost suffer back to Lorée, it was normal to search some comfort, but she couldn't do it directly, she had to steal what she needed. So even if she was smiling, she also felt guilty. She was consoling herself with the idea that after all Gajeel wasn't the kind of man who let himself being walked over. Sometimes she was venturing, thinking that maybe he was pleased with this situation.

Now, she wanted to confess, to go back over what she'd told him far too soon, just before they left Lorée. She never found the right moment, she didn't want to talk about it for nothing, she was scared he wouldn't understand. Maybe it wasn't necessary to talk, maybe she just had to act? But the result would be worse if her actions were misunderstood. After all, she had told it. He could do what he wanted now. But his silence was slowly hurting her feelings. Of course she had told him he could forget, she had thought it at the moment. Often, she was wondering if he hadn't merely followed her advice, if he hadn't forgotten just like that. She would be sad, really, if he had. She was sad just thinking about it.

They had changed cars twice since they left Lorée. The cars from the North were too recognizable, made in iron, and they needed petrol. In the South, magic was far more used, so they'd better melt into the crowd. Levy had wanted to protest when Gajeel had taken the magical pump, but he had made her shut up with a glare. She knew she hadn't enough magic left, and he could drive for miles without being tired. So she'd remained quiet. The Dragon Slayer didn't have a seizure, the consummation of his magic hadn't been a problem. And she was relieved. Maybe the things were getting into order.

They'd needed a few days to reach the South coast. A few calm days, in a complete silence. They hadn't talk at all. But it seemed that Gajeel had thought a lot, and he had decided to go to Litanie. So he'd traveled back to the Sud, and she had realized it when she'd recognized the vegetation, the weather. She hadn't commented it. Gajeel must have thought they couldn't run away definitely, someone could see they. Levy knew in spite of all that he would remain careful. They had left the lacrima ball behind them, in fear that someone could use it to find their trace. Deep down, being so close to Fairy Tail was dangerous.

Levy wanted to talk with Gajeel, reassure him so that worried mark between his nonexistent brows finally disappeared from his face, so he wouldn't turn around at the fateful moment. She wanted to scream he wasn't an exception, it was possible to end this, everything could be like before, she wanted him to confide in her, because she had the feeling he was nearing the implosion. But he remained silent, so silent she couldn't bring herself to talk, it was impossible to communicate with someone who was so silent. And yet he didn't have a seizure. Levy was suspecting their bodily contact during night to be the main reason. But she didn't want to think about it, not like this. So she kept quiet too, doing tirelessly what he wanted, without flinching.

Her leg was better, and the arch of her eyebrow would let a scar. Gajeel still hadn't got his arm back.

They were traveling slower now, taking their time to rest between each place. They were at the seaside, due to Gajeel's doubts they had made a vast detour, and now they had to drive toward the East to reach Magnolia. The room of the hotel had a terrace giving onto the sea. After all, they had stolen a lot of money at Mara and the Dragon Slayer was esteeming that going to Magnolia with money from stolen jewels was a bad idea. Levy was nodding of course, but she who was used to be reasonable was surprised by this sudden comfort. So this day, she was resting on a deckchair on the terrace, listening the roll. She was happy to be almost home. She was enjoying their last rest. The following night, it was the night, the day they would go to hide at Litanie. She was anxious. Not because she was doubting Juvia, Natsu or Wendy, but because they were going to approach Fairy Tail, too closely. Who knew what could happen? What if Gajeel was losing his cool? What if their plan had been discovered by someone else? This short crossing on the boat was scaring her almost as much as the mountain. To reassure herself, she was trying to imagine what could happen if only they reached Litanie. She could spend more than a night at the same place, finally.

Gajeel opened the plate glass window and as always without a word, he collapsed on his chair beside her, his gaze on the horizon. Usually they remained like this for a long time, without talking, but after all, they better talk now than tomorrow, in the heat of the moment, in the middle of the unknown.

"What are you thinking about?" She tried shyly.

"Am I talking to ya?" He answered gruffly, but she didn't take the bite.

"No… and that's the point. It's been… ten days you didn't spoke a word? Do you think this is normal?"

"Yeah." He answered sure of himself, folding his arms "And by the way if you're not happy you can still go back to Fairy Tail. You're not my hostage anymore now."

Levy took a moment to think about it. It was the first time he was stating it loudly. She thought she saw a shudder on his face surrounded by light. Was he still expecting her to pack her things and leave him without another word? She was about to tell him for the umpteenth time that she was with him, explain it to him once more. But after all since the words weren't working on him, she would show him instead. Without a word, without a glance, she stood and disappeared into the cold shadows of the room.

Gajeel had promised himself to trust her now, that's why he had said this, despite the fat it was obvious for him, he wanted to show her this way that he managed to trust her. But she was standing, she was leaving and he was already imagining himself going to Litanie alone, or worst, aimed by the thousands of spears of the Council. Where was this promise he had done to himself? Where was his strength? His unwavering will? He tensed on his chair, clenching his fists, trying to tell himself she would come back. But the sun was burning his eyes, his skin, reminding him very painful memories.

'Die.That's the best you can ever do.'

Unable to take it anymore Gajeel moved like a whirlwind. He was ready to run after her in the streets, ready to jump off the balcony if he had too, he wouldn't let her go without a word, without a talk. He wouldn't let her go at all. He found her inside the little kitchen of the room, a glass of water in her hand.

"Levy, you…" He tried, his face white.

"Since you weren't incline to talk, I went to get a glass of water." She explained. "You really need to relax."

Without a word he turned on his heels and went back to his chair on the terrace, and she follow him. To tell the truth, he was almost angry. But he felt relieved. She seemed to give the talking up with him for a while so he began to think about what just happened. Rationally it didn't make any sense, absolutely none. The fact she was leaving now was completely illogical, considering everything she'd done for him until now, her behavior, her words and especially this forced confession he didn't dare to think about. For a moment, Gajeel wondered if he was turning crazy. Why had he thought about that day, when he'd seen Metalicana for the last time? Concretely, it had nothing to do with it.

"You knew I would freak out." He eventually said in a reproachful tone.

"It wasn't hard to guess." Levy answered, amused.

"Are you enjoying yourself playing with my nerves?" He replied.

"Honestly… a little. But you know... it becomes insulting for me."

He remained silent for a while, and a wave crashed into the cliff below them, where their hotel was standing.

"I know." He eventually said.

"That's why. I wanted to present you with the fait accompli. I have the feeling my words wouldn't reach you." She was kind again, and he understood she was waiting for him to talk, like they'd already done before.

"Yeah exactly. Actually I can't manage to reason with myself." He explained looking down.

"That's why I'm worried." Levy added as she turned toward him. But his eyes were remaining on the horizon.

"I shouldn't act like an ass like this tomorrow." He added.

"That's clear, yes, but above this, it's going to ruin your life, if every time you remain persuaded that people will play a dirty trick on you."

"I can avoid disappointments." He answered tit for tat.

"What if you wouldn't be disappointed?" Levy added without getting discouraged.

"What do you mean?" He asked. He still had his arms crossed, his eyes glassy, but maybe he was listening in spite of all.

"It seems inconceivable to you that someone could care for you, or could want your well-being, am I right?"

"Yes." He answered very seriously "Now, I'm starting to have proofs of the contrary, I can realize it, denying it becomes completely incoherent with the reality, and yet I continue to think this way. That's crazy, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't say it's crazy. I'd say that when you thought this way during your whole life, it's complicated to change your mind."

"Why would it be so complicated?" Gajeel asked still without watching her.

"Because it's not like changing your mind about your favorite color, for example. Changing your mind here means taking a risk, the risk to think that the other want your well-being and that you're wrong, the risk to be disappointed by the other, the risk to be abandoned when you were relying on someone. I bet you've already been through it."

The Dragon Slayer tensed even more on his chair and Levy knew she had gone too far. She waited, hoping a word would eventually escape from this hopelessly closed mouth. Then she despaired, and when she decided to give up and let her mind drifting away in the calm, his lips unsealed.

"Why do you absolutely want to know what happened?" He asked harshly suddenly.

"It's not that I want to know. Sometimes I feel like I better not know. But you have to talk about it to someone, so that someone can sympathize with what you've lived, do you understand?"

"What would be the point?" He asked encore.

"I think you could get rid of it. If you could see my horrified face, you'd feel this isn't normal, that this isn't suppose to happen, usually." Levy went on, not very sure of her choice of words.

"I know that, believe me." He replied, almost feeling angry.

"So why do you still believe to be an exception, why do you refuse to see that I…"

"I don't know." He cut her "But even if I wanted to talk to you, I couldn't. I don't really remember, and then… it wasn't so important, it wasn't… there was the rest too and… rah! Nevermind."

He stood hastily, and disappeared into the bedroom. Levy sighed. Above the sea, the sun was setting.

X_x

They had walked into the tall grass, into the sand, along the coast, in the dark. The boat was waiting for them as planned. Gajeel hesitated a moment, so she grabbed his valid hand and pulled it gently. She felt relieved when he resolve to follow her. They went on board, still in silence, doing their best to avoid making noise, dreading seeing a silhouette, a bad omen, a threatening torch. They both had to row to move across the sea. It was the most discrete boat, the bow was barely rocking the dark water. Both of them were crossing their fingers. She was hoping everything would be alright, he was hoping no one would betray them before the end of the crossing. None of them payed attention to the myriad of stars above their head.

After they passed the little bay, they turned on the light and the expected signals answered them. Levy began to relax as they were reaching the cave, always in the deepest silence.

The tunnel seemed interminable. Sharply, Gajeel had forced Levy to stay behind him, and he was walking along the rock wall. They eventually found stairs, then a trap door. Gajeel paused instead of opening it.

"How much are you sure we can trust Juvia?" He whispered very quickly.

"I'm a hundred percent sure." Levy answered.

"You probably don't hear anything, but I can tell there are at least a hundred of persons waiting in silence for this trap door to open." Gajeel went on between his teeth.

Levy paused for a moment, contaminated by his anxiety.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean I don't know! There's a lot of people, people who's not moving, who's silent. Maybe it's the Council waiting for us with spears and all that jazz."

Levy shuddered, instinctively. She forced herself to think, to fight the panic. There was certainly another explanation. But suddenly Gajeel straightened, turning around in the dark, toward the unclear shadows.

"Shit." He swore "People are coming to us!"

Before Levy had the time to succumb to panic, he grabbed her with violence, sticking a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. His gestures had no gentleness, his body was so tense she had the feeling to be prisoner by a statue. He moved silently, avoiding the puddles, then turning silently in a corridor she didn't even have the time to see. The conduit was narrowing, so he went to press himself against the dead-end waiting for them. After that he dropped Levy next to him, and used his sick arm to make a few rocks fall very slowly from the walls. Soon they were hidden, in the total dark. Only at this moment, he removed his hand from her mouth.

"Do you think they heard us?" She asked very quickly.

"No idea…" Gajeel whispered "But if we keep talking, we're doomed. So let's keep quiet and wait."

Levy nodded with tearful eyes. Soon, she heard the footsteps too. So she held her breath, unable to believe it was happening to her. She knew that if the Council was discovering her there, with him, unchained, willingly, she would certainly fall with him, for having protected him, for having hidden him when he was clearly wanted, for having refused to tell Fairy Tail where they were. This thought was horrifying her but at the same time she was proud. Proud to have done everything in her power for what she believed was right, and for the one she loved. There was no half-measure, no compromise.

"Gajeel!" A voice suddenly rang. It was Natsu. Fairy Tail. She felt Gajeel glancing at her in the dark and hope left her suddenly. They were doomed. Even if they escaped, where would they go?

"Gajeel." Juvia's voice called. Hope suddenly came back. If Natsu was here with Juvia it certainly meant that he was with them. She cursed herself for having doubted her friends, contaminated by Gajeel. Deep down, she had been manhandled too. She was ready to let her joy explode at the idea to see them again, and screaming that she was there, right there. But again Gajeel placed his hand over her mouth and blocked her with his invalid arm and the cold metal made her shudder.

"Gajeel oh! Come on, show yourself, we know you're here, I've smelled you. You really stink. I'm with you. Juvia's here too, and also Wendy who's waiting for you in the hall. Actually, everyone is waiting for you. They've prepared a surprise party for your arrival, and if we don't hurry they're going to eat the whole cake! They've made a strawberry cake to mock Erza and her morale."

Juvia was less optimist, she was talking hesitantly.

"Juvia knows you don't trust us, and she is well placed to know you're right to be mistrustful. But Juvia wouldn't set a trap for you. Juvia is very angry against Makarov and the others about the way they treat you. Show yourself, please."

Levy struggled in Gajeel's arms, but he wasn't moving an inch.

"Oh la la, so we can't even prepare a surprise party anymore… what a killjoy!" Natsu added. Suddenly Gajeel pounced, still holding Levy against him, and they were facing each other in the tunnel. Natsu and Juvia's faces fell.

"Back off." Gajeel ordered. They obeyed.

"Gajeel… Juvia thinks you should let her go, you're hurting her. It's alright. We just wanted to celebrate. Juvia is happy to see you, to know you're alright. You are Juvia's friend."

Indeed if Levy hadn't her mouth covered, she would have moaned in pain. Gajeel was currently panicking, she felt it, he was the prey of a very intense inward fight and he couldn't hear her anymore. In a reflex, his arms were tightening around her even more, too much more, she couldn't breath properly, and her wrist stuck against his torso was hurting her. He didn't answer Juvia.

"Gajeel…" Natsu tried again interrogatively. A disproportionately long time passed, while Levy struggled more and more. Then finally he let her go. She squeaked, collapsed on the ground, her knees on the damp earth, holding her wounded arm. The Dragon Slayer watched her, then stared at their wondering eyes and he wanted to run away because it was too much for him. But with her other hand, the little Script mage grabbed him just before he did, clutching his torn coat. She met his terrified look without fear.

"It's okay, this is not big deal. Come, come with me. Lena is going to heal me anyway, okay?"

He seemed to relax, regain his composure, then finally he helped her to stand. Natsu and Juvia stared at each other. They were both relieved that finally there was someone here on earth who could knock some sense into Gajeel Redfox.

"I hate surprises." He eventually growled. Juvia gave him an enigmatic smile and Natsu gave him a tap on the shoulder. The action against his body emitted a weird tin noise.

"Oh" He commented, wondering.

"Shut up." Gajeel answered. Juvia smiled brightly and Levy found this strange. She followed them, holding her broken wrist.

"Surprise!" The whole Litanie shouted when they opened the trap door.

"You took your time!" Someone exclaimed.

"You're all dirty!" Someone else added.

Levy felt dizzy in this dense crowd. After all, for all this time, they had been alone, only the two of them. The members of Litanie didn't seem to be bad people, but their faces were harsh, marked by the hardness of life, it was as if their faces were silently telling something like 'Don't mess with me or you'll be sorry.' So Levy was merely smiling shyly, not daring to speak. Gajeel was almost silent too, only answering the questions by a single word, exhibiting clearly his bad mood, reproaching everyone this stupid idea that had almost made them run away. Finally, Lena took Levy's hand delicately and he found himself in the middle of the crowd, facing Natsu holding out a part of cake to him, eating his with the other hand.

Gajeel hesitated, then he eventually told himself he was already beyond the lines. He had gone against so many rules of survival, he had done so many stupid things. So in a quick motion he grabbed his part and shoved it into his mouth. He closed his eyes, surprised by this o so pleasurable taste invading his tongue. It tasted sweet, almost sour, it made him feel warm.

"What's with the face?" Natsu commented his mouth full "You're acting as if it's the first time you're eating a strawberry cake."

"Because it is, moron." He answered gruffly.

"Oh." A stunned Natsu uttered, and a few crumbs escaped his lips.

"Igneel never told you it wasn't good to eat normal food?"

"Oh?" Natsu repeated again. "No… Igneel never told that."

Suddenly Gajeel wondered what Igneel and Metalicana could have in common. After all, Natsu had always done a lot to find his dragon father. Gajeel didn't want to see Metalicana ever again.

"Was he cool, Igneel?" Gajeel asked before he took another mouthful of cake. This second bite felt even better than the first.

"How that?" Natsu asked, wondering were this conversation was going.

"Well I don't know. Was he reading stories to you when you were a kid? What words from him do you remember the most?"

Natsu's eyes turned sad, and yet he answered.

"Oh I don't know, a lot of things. Igneel almost didn't know how to read, so he didn't told me stories often, just food names, but he told me that there was still hope, that if you want something, if you really want it, you can get it, and also to rely on my friends, to believe in myself… well you know… the kind of thing normal parents say too I guess."

Gajeel went on with the feeling crushing his heart.

"He taught you how to fight?"

"Yep" Natsu stated with a mix of pride and nostalgia. "We were training every morning, until noon, and the afternoon we were paying, or making sky towers."

"Sky towers?" Gajeel asked. He regretted his question as soon as he spoke.

"Well yeah, he was taking me on his back, and we were flying above the desert, making looping, brushing the dunes. I enjoyed it when I was a kid… I think I would still enjoy it today…" Suddenly Natsu seemed to lose his nostalgic dreamy gaze.

"Metalicana wasn't doing this with you?" He asked in turn.

Gajeel preferred not to answer.

"Igneel never told you why he'd raised you?" He asked back.

"What do you mean?" Natsu wondered dubious.

That's when Gajeel snapped.

"You're really a complete idiot. Why do you think a dragon waste his time to teach magic to a human child? For fun?" He spat.

"Well er yeah I guess… for the same reason the humans have children, don't you think?"

"You're even dumber than you look." Gajeel growled angrily.

"Why?" Natsu replied, starting to lose his temper "What did Metalicana want you to do, huh?"

"He wanted me to kill Igneel." Gajeel spoke icily.

"What?!" Natsu snapped in turn "I swear if you ever…"

"Hey, relax!" Gajeel grunted "I don't really plan to kill anyone anymore. Unless someone asks for it, got it?"

Natsu eventually calmed down, as if the idea was slowly reaching his brain.

"So to sum it up…" He eventually said "Metalicana raised you, trained you and taught you to fight in order to kill Igneel, right?"

"Yeah." Gajeel answered, glad he was finally understanding.

"Daaaamn… holy crap…" Natsu groaned, looking dumbstruck as the idea finally reached his mind. There was a silence while they both kept eating their part of strawberry cake without a word.

"And how was Metalicana with you?" The fire Dragon Slayer asked again after a while.

"He was a fucking bastard." Gajeel answered. After this he stood and walked away, unwilling to keep talking about that. He realized that Levy had been right the day before. Until now, he'd doubted the way Metalicana had always treated him was normal, now he truly realized it. For the first time, this truth made him sad.

X_x

Aw~! Poor Gajeel! TT_TT

See ya for the next one (don't know when sorry).