A/N: wow, okay, it's been so long, but here I am, finishing this, because I can't stand to leave a story unfinished. i'm thinking 2-3 more chapters until the end. hope you enjoy!

Dean was on his back. His shirt was on the floor by the door where Cas had pulled it off. And his pants, that was a little cloudy, but they weren't on him anymore, he knew that much. Cool sheets hugged his back and legs, only a pair of black boxers keeping him from being au naturel. He was content to lie there for the moment, with Cas standing at his feet, awkwardly shifting, looking kinda beautiful. "You gonna join me anytime soon?"

Cas nodded just barely, dark blue eyes piercing and his solid jaw setting in a determined way that Dean found oddly endearing, and the dirty blond wondered when he'd become such a sap. If it was something that had been creeping up on him the past few years, or if it had been just since his time stuck in the blasted cabin. He'd like to think the first, made it seem less important... but he'd only noticed it recently. Since Cas.

He watched up through glazed green eyes as said brunet began to slowly draw his shirt up past his stomach and chest, and then over his head, looking like a model... well, a reluctant one at least. He scrubbed a hand roughly through his pitch black hair, not bothering to smooth it back down afterward, and Dean felt a smile cock up one corner of his mouth even as his lower body responded eagerly. No wonder his hair was always a mess...

"Should I remove these myself?"

Green eyes blinked slowly, then did their best to open more, blond brows pulling up to try to help the cause. "Hm?"

The dark-haired guy looked down at his own pants, and Dean found his eyes following the same path. "Should I remove them, or would you like to do it? I don't want to interfere with any foreplay you might require."

Dean blinked again. What the—"Cas," he said with a laugh, and he pushed himself back up to sit, his scattered thoughts diffusing so he could focus. He motioned towards himself. "Come'ere."

The dark-haired guy took a step forward hesitantly, and Dean hooked his index inside said pants and tugged him the rest of the way until he was snug between his legs. "Now"—he pressed his lips gently to exposed abs, and felt the guy suck in a sharp breath—"relax..." he murmured, working his mouth carefully along taut muscles he could just make out in the dark room. "Gonna miss you when we leave here..." he let slip out between alcohol-loosed lips as blood began to race through his veins, and his hand found buttoned pants. Maybe he did like the foreplay, because he was getting really worked up, and they hadn't even done anything yet.

"I want to move to Lebanon, Dean."

"Why would ya wanna do that?" Dean mumbled distractedly as he began to undo the guy's pants, having to focus way too hard on the simple task. Maybe he'd drank a little too much, but what was new. "Middle East is hot as balls."

"I mean Kansas, Dean. Where you are."

Dean stopped just as he'd accomplished exposing white boxers, and he looked up, wide-eyed and in shock. "You wanna move there 'cause of me?" he asked, his rough voice not much better than a low rumble. "Or you got some other reason?"

Somehow the second option made Dean's jaw flex, even if he had been the one to offer it, and he felt himself getting angry for no reason when Cas didn't answer him right away. "Don't be stupid, Cas. There's nothin' in Lebanon worth movin' for."

"You're wrong, Dean," was said firmly, and Dean looked away, feeling suddenly wide the fuck awake. "I've never felt the way I do towards you."

And Dean had heard it before. He'd heard it in many different voices, in slightly different ways, but he'd fucking heard it too many times, and it always ended the same way. Something heavy felt like it dropped into the pit of his stomach, which was admittedly new, and the dirty blond wished he'd never heard it from Cas. Wished he'd just take it back. But he didn't, because the world had it out for Dean. "No, you're wrong, Cas," he croaked, he cleared his throat. "You're wrong about me—whatever you think I am, whatever you think this is—you're just plain wrong."

Cas said nothing, just stood there looking all too aware and knowing about everything, so Dean nudged him back so he could stand. He needed some space. "What if I don't want you to move near me?" he asked, his voice gruff and suddenly harsh.

"Then I won't," the guy said, and he sighed, looking disappointed, but Dean couldn't tell if it was with him or himself. "I'm sorry, Dean, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Damn straight," Dean said a little too forcefully, and he flexed his jaw, feeling even worse when Cas's chin dipped at it. He grasped the back of his neck roughly. "Listen, Cas, I like you. I do. But we gotta take this slow, I'm not good at relationships. Hell, only people I'm close to are either dead, Sam, and now you."

The dark-haired guy looked back up at that, his expression shifting to something that looked a lot like determination, and made Dean's heart jump around funny in his chest. "I am sorry. I can take this slow," he said, emphasizing the 'this' so much, Dean expected air quotes. "I promise."

Dean huffed a held breath through his nostrils and nodded as he sucked on his teeth. "All right then," he said shortly, feeling awkward as hell, like he should apologize too. "Thanks, Cas," he mumbled instead as his mood dipped for some reason. Then he looked over at the guy, still unsure. "So you wanna still stay tonight?" he asked.

Castiel nodded back. "I would like that. I believe we're all leaving in the morning."

Dean hmph'd, the thought of finally leaving not making him as happy as he'd like. "Yeah... I'll believe that when I see it," he said grumpily. Then he exhaled around a soft throat clearing as he walked back to the bed, climbing in on his side and covering up. He felt the bed dip behind him as Cas climbed in too, and he wanted to roll over and make nice, kiss and whatever else the guy would allow... but just the thought of trying it made him feel like a huge fucking hypocrite. He shifted some, trying to get comfortable. "Night, Cas," he husked.

"Goodnight, Dean."

"God Almighty and Heaven above," Gabriel crooned, "man am I happy to get out of this hell hole!"

"Yes, thank you for coming, Gabe," Lucifer said dryly, his arm casually hooked around Sam's waist. Michael was already sitting inside a blacked out Cadillac SUV, with a pair of dark sunglasses on that couldn't quite hide the angry purple and blue skin around his swollen left eye. He'd been blissfully silent the little bit Dean had seen him that morning.

Lucifer'd somehow gotten someone to come in the middle of the night and treat the roads all the way down. Sam had insisted to everyone it wasn't because they weren't welcome anymore and to feel free to leave whenever.

Gabe laughed and pulled the blond and Sam into an uncomfortable looking hug. "Ah, take good care of him, Sammy. Just remember, you're bigger than him."

Dean frowned at that, and then Gabe was coming at him with outstretched arms. "Deano," he exclaimed, hugging him and relaxing into it despite Dean stiffening like a board, then he whispered, "make sure you contact me first when you two set a date."

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but Gabe pulled back and smacked him on the cheek like he was a little kid before walking off happily.

Then there was Cas. The dark-haired guy walked out of the house, his tan trench coat, black dress pants and shoes once more on, giving Dean a bad case of déjà vu. He settled a hand on Sam's shoulder, saying something quiet and serious-looking to him that Dean couldn't quite make out despite straining his hearing. Then Lucifer pulled him into a hug, that made Dean cringe on Cas's behalf.

Blue eyes turned to him, and Dean tried to swallow but just managed to choke a little on his own spit. The black-haired guy walked forward, the skin under his eyes dark, like he hadn't slept well. He smiled at Dean, but it seemed more resigned than anything to the blond. "Goodbye, Dean, it was good to meet you."

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but he had nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

The guy surprised him then as he reached one arm out and gave him a casual hug. Dean still didn't respond. Then the guy turned and walked off, and Dean blinked rapidly, his mouth still agape as he struggled. He watched Cas climb into the front seat, and he managed a weak, "See ya, Cas."

Cas gave a wave and shut the door, the heavy sound of it making Dean's face twitch. And then Dean was watching the SUV drive away.