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Chapter 21

"I'm pregnant Edward." I whisper to no one. Knowing he can't hear me.

"And I've never felt more alone."

BPOV

I'm a coward. I know this because I'm afraid to tell my husband that I am carrying his child. We weren't supposed to get pregnant right away. My doctors highly discouraged it due to what all I've been though. The cancer, the surgery, it took a lot out of me. We were supposed to wait at least a year.

Nope, didn't see this one coming. I don't know how it happened. I mean, well I know how it happened, just didn't think this would happen.

It was night that Edward was actually home early from work and not out at the bar. I had just taken a shower and was getting dressed when he walked into the room. My back was turned to him as I was searching in my top drawer to find a pair of pajama pants to wear. Finding the comfy ones from Victoria Secrets I drop my towel to the floor and bend over to put my pants on. I didn't hear him come into the room because the next thing I knew I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and my body was being picked up and carried over to our bed.

"Edward, put me down. You'll hurt yourself."

"Bella, you do realize you way 110 pounds soaking wet right.?" he says while flopping my body onto the bed while hovering over me.

"Still, you don't need to be picking me up." I said trying to act like he wasn't having an effect on me.

He began kissing his way around my body. I will never get tired of this feeling, it was the bet feeling. He literally started from the tip of my head to the bottoms of my feet. He may have taken a few detours in the middle but shit, I wasn't complaining.

"I need you Edward, like yesterday."

He made his way up my body and reached in the drawer to find a condom. We've been using them just as an added precaution, at least until my birth control kicked in.

"Not tonight Edward. I want to feel all of you. Nothing between us tonight. Please?"

"Are you sure Bella?" he said , I could tell by the look on his face that he was more than happy with the idea.

"Positive." I say. It didn't take him long to line himself up at my entrance and push his way inside. It had been too long since I've felt him this way. There is no feeling like having no barrier between you and the man you are making love to.

"God Bella you feel so good. I've missed this." he said pushing and pulling his body, me meeting him push for pull.

"I know baby, I know/" It didn't take long for me to reach my release, the next thing I know I was screaming his name while he kept pounding his glorious cock into my body.

"I'm so close baby, I need you to come with me." He glided his hand between us to find my swollen clit and began rubbing vigorously.

"That's is, yes, yes yes Bella, oh god this feels good."

I felt his cock twitch inside my body, sending me into another orgasm. I clawed at his back, wanting to hold onto this feeling forever. His body shuddered against mine as he put his body weight on his elbows above me. I kept nudging at his arms, I wanted to feel his entire body against mine. I know he was worried about crushing me, but I love the feeling of all of his weight on me. He finally took my hint and rested his body against mine. He sighed.

"Are you ok Love?" he murmured into my chest.

"I'm perfect Edward. Just perfect."

That was the night we conceived our child. It had to be. No night after that have we ever went without protection. I didn't want to worry Edward but I had a funny feeling the next morning that we shouldn't have went without a condom the night before. Little did I know that funny feeling would turn into way more than what either of us bargained for.

After Edward walked down the hall, I couldn't tell if he had actually left the hotel room or not. I didn't want to face him right now. Maybe he was right, maybe I am pushing him away. I can't explain how I was feeling. Maybe I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

I decided to take the chance and opened the door. I stepped out into the hallway and listened for any movement in the next room. There was none. I quickly made my way into the living room of the suite and saw that his bags were still here. I walked over to his suitcase and pulled out one of his shirts. I held it up to my nose and inhaled his scent. God how I've missed his smell. There would be nights we'd be in bed and he'd have his head on my chest, I couldn't help the urge to bury my nose into his hear and just breathe him in. They say that mothers do this with their kids, just breathe them in. (AN: I do it, not gonna lie, love the smell of my children.) I guess I'll get to test this theory when our little one gets here.

I sit down on the couch and replay everything that has happened in our lives over the past few months, the cancer, the surgery, my depression, Edward. This promotional tour I'm doing I know isn't helping with my stress. It isn't good for me or for the baby. When I called Dr. Morris to tell her that I was pregnant, I could hear the concern in her voice when she told me congratulations. I just had a few questions that I was hoping she would be able to answer for me. Mostly with having had breast cancer and getting pregnant so soon after. She wasn't able to put all of my fears on the back burner. She just told me that we would have to monitor everything more closer and just keep an eye on me.

I must have fallen asleep.

EPOV

After out little fight, I guess that's what you'd call it, I decided I need to take a walk. She didn't want me here right now and to be quite honest, I didn't want to be here right now either. I took a walk around the hotel, checking out the pool, the gym, and ended up in the bar. I sat down and asked for a beer. The bartender sat it down in front of me. I grabbed the bottle and brought it to my lips. I hesitated. For a brief moment I hesitated.

I took a long swig and sat it back down. I started to peal the label off, one small piece at a time. I started to think about where this all went wrong. Why was I acting this way, treating the love of my life like this. I couldn't figure it out. I didn't take another drink after that. I got up from the barstool and headed back up to the room.

I slipped the card into the door and walked into the living room. Bella was asleep on the couch. I could tell she had been crying, her cheeks were wet and she was breathing out her mouth. I sat down in the chair across from the couch and just watched her sleep. It felt a bit stalkerish but I just needed to be in the same room as her. I made my way over to the couch and kneeled down in front of her. I kissed the top of her head and just inhaled her scent. God how I've missed her smell. There was nothing like it in the world. My mom used to tell me she could just sit with me on her lap and just breathe me in. I always thought this was strange, she would just laugh and tell me to wait until I have kids, then I would know what she was talking about.

I brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen onto her face and tucked it behind her ear. She began to stir. I felt bad for waking her up but I really wanted to see look into her eyes. I kissed her forehead, her eyes, her nose and eventually her lips.

"Bella, wake up please. Let's get you to bed." I stood up and picked her up in my arms.

I walked back into the bedroom and placed her onto the bed. I quickly removed my clothes and crawled into bed with her. She had rolled over on her side, trying to get comfortable. I slid up behind her and molded myself to her body. She let out a big sigh. I could feel her reaching around for my hand. I brought it to hers, she laced our fingers together and placed them over her stomach.

I kissed the back of her head and whispered to her that I was sorry for everything I've done over the past few weeks. I knew this wasn't the fix to all of our problems but it was a start.

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