"This is not supposed to be how a love should look, after you have closed the story book. They say that life goes on, but I've been dead since you've been gone. I think were wrong, so what's the use? I am ever after you, always ever after you. So tell me what I have to do? Is there a way to be happy ever after you?"- Ever After You by the Gabe Dixon Band
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read all of the AN at the bottom!- C
I glared at Esme for a split second before I turned and tried to leave the room. I didn't get far; Emmett's hands wrapped around the top of my arms, holding me in place as I tried to escape.
"Emmett let me go!" I yelled at him while ignoring the calming words from Jasper and Jake; they had both stood up to help Emmett.
"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked my brother harshly.
"Bella, you have got to calm down," Emmett said, holding me in place while he tried to explain what was going on.
Alice let go of Rosalie's hand and took a step forward as Carlisle rubbed Esme's arm supportively. "Bella, I invited Esme here," she said in a small but determined voice.
I could feel my mouth fall open from the shock of Alice's treason against our friendship. Not only did she plan this stupid intervention, but she also trapped me in a fucking room with someone I absolutely hated. "What the fuck Alice?" I screamed at her, still struggling to pull away from Emmett.
"Bella, stop." Jasper held his hands up in an attempt to make me see reason, but I ignored him.
"You are supposed to be my best friend, and yet you take Edward's side? Then you go and call Satan herself and invite her over here to just rub it in my face? Does a twenty year old friendship not mean a fucking thing to you anymore?" I screamed at her.
"And that doesn't tell you something Bella?" she yelled back at me. "You are my best friend and I am trying to help you!"
I pulled against Emmett wanting nothing more than to just beat the shit of every single person that stood in the room.
"Bella, we love you. I love you! We are only trying to get you to listen to us, but you won't! So the only option I have left is to hold you hostage!" Alice moved forward trying to calm me down, but she only ended up making me angrier.
Carlisle walked towards me, holding his hands up and trying to get me to calm down. "Bella, I know you are angry, and you have every right to be. All we are asking for is a few moments to try and explain some things."
"Bella please…" Alice begged quietly.
I glared at her as tears started running down my cheeks, until Esme stood up and tentatively took a step towards me. "Bella…" she started quietly, but I stopped her.
"Do. Not. Talk. To. Me," I said in a shaking voice, punctuating each word. I tried again to pull away from Emmett. I swear to God, if she got close enough I might have actually kicked her.
"Bella…" she pleaded again, but I shook my head.
"I hate you!" I cried as I looked at her. "I hate you for everything that you have put me through…"
I tried to finish but I couldn't. In that second, every horrible thing Esme had ever said or done hit me all over again. All of the looks of disapproval, every snub, and every mean comment she'd ever thrown my way passed through my mind. All I could do was close my eyes as more tears made their way down my face and sag against my brother's grip. My body simply gave up.
I slipped out of Emmett's grasp like a rag doll, landing in a pathetic heap on the floor at his feet. I sat there crying, not even protesting when I felt Emmett lift me up into his arms and hold me against him. He hugged me to him, gently rocking side to side as I cried against his chest. I felt a small hand rubbing circles on my back, which eventually turned into a hug from behind.
Alice rested her head lightly against my back as I continued to cry. I listened as she hummed lightly, letting her sweet melodic harmony travel up my back. I turned around to find her crying silently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gently smoothed the back of my hair. Jasper wrapped his long arms around the both of us, and I leaned against them as I continued to cry.
"The worst part, aside from my marriage probably being ruined, is the fact that I let you fool me," I said in a weak voice that was muffled by Alice's shoulder. I slowly pulled away from both of them and looked at Esme, ignoring the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. "I ignored people telling me that you weren't really sorry and that you were only trying to trick me into a false sense of friendship…"
"Bella…" she said softly after looking down at the carpet.
"Why do you hate me?" I asked as I threw my arms up in frustration. "I have done nothing but love your son with everything that I have in me…"
"I have said and done a lot of terrible things you to Bella," she admitted softly before looking back at me. "And you have every right to hate me, but don't punish Edward because of my mistakes."
"I am not punishing him Esme, you are." I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at her. "You seem to be rallying around the idea that our marriage will fail! Why?" I had started screaming again and Esme only looked at me while shaking her head.
"Why do you hate me?" I screamed again, and as I took a step forward, Jasper grabbed my arm to hold me back. "Just tell me what I have done to make you hate me… Please…" The room was quiet as I watched Esme slowly shake her head at me.
"I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I wanted so much for Edward and I just… I had this idea in my head of what his life would be like as an adult, happy and successful with a family of his own. I never saw how much you completed him until now. It is my own fault that he hates me and that you hate me. But, I can't lose my son, and I definitely don't want him to lose you."
I swallowed thickly as Esme took the handkerchief Carlisle was offering her. That was it? After all of the years of hatred from her, that was all she could give me?
"If you lose your son, it's nobody's fault but your own Esme," I said bitterly.
"I know," Esme admitted while nodding her head. "This is entirely my fault."
"Tanya is at fault too," Alice said from beside me.
"Bella, Edward would never cheat on you," Carlisle said, and I looked at him for a second before looking back at the floor. Carlisle's eyes were so similar to Edward's, and it made my heart ache to even glance at them.
"He lied to me through omission, and that is just as bad as cheating. He lied to me about Tanya living with him," I told Carlisle, but it was Jasper that responded.
"She didn't live with him Bella; she stayed with him for a couple of weeks. That's what we have been trying to tell you. All of these stories she has told you are lies," he explained as Alice nodded in agreement
"The button got pulled off by her necklace," Esme said softly while wiping her cheeks. "She knew he was in Portland because I told her. Edward never contacted her; she was the one who initiated all of it."
Jasper let go of my arm, and I tiredly crossed to one of the beds and sunk on to it. I listened as Jasper explained what had taken place after his birthday party. He briefly skimmed over the whole altercation at my apartment, and I knew it was because to this day neither Alice nor Emmett knew about it.
When it happened, I had been so angry at him, and for a split second I'd thought about calling Emmett and having him beat the shit out of Edward. But when Jasper showed up, he convinced me to wait – to give Edward a little time – and I had agreed.
If anyone deserved credit for getting Edward and I back together, it was Jasper. From what I knew, once Edward left my apartment that day, Jasper was the one who basically made him get his ass in gear. Jasper was the one that convinced me to at least agree to talk to him again. If it hadn't been for that, I probably wouldn't have ever seen him again.
I was exhausted, and after I calmly listened to everyone's opinion, I curled up on one of the double beds in Jake's hotel room and tried to stop crying. I was tired of crying, and I just wished for a second I could feel something other than sadness, desperation, or anger.
"Bella, any woman in your situation would have assumed the worst, but you have to at least have to listen to Edward," Alice said quietly as she lay on her side next to me, gently stroking my hair. "Let him explain why he didn't tell you to begin with. Give him a chance to tell you that Tanya is lying before you just throw away one of the best things in your life."
I knew she was right, that I at least owed him a chance to explain his side of the story, but I was just so mad. I felt betrayed by the fact that three years ago he promised to never lie to me. He told me I could trust him, and that trust was what helped me move past all of his idiotic tendencies about Mike Newton.
After everyone left, I stared into the darkness of the hotel room and wished Edward had just told me about Tanya from the beginning. There were so many mistakes we'd made when we were younger, and they all seemed to be falling in on us now. I sat up, looking over at the other bed, and wondered if Jake was asleep.
"Bella just go over there," he said in a quiet voice as if answering my thought. "Go over there and talk to him. Get the answers you want."
I sighed heavily, wanting to know, but scared of what I might actually find out.
"You know I am no fan of Edward Cullen, but even I can see he adores you. Just go and give him a chance," Jake said quietly.
I got out of bed, and after pulling on the same hoodie from that morning, I felt around in the darkness for my shoes. Jake turned on the lamp, and once I found them and hastily shoved them on my feet, I grabbed my purse.
Before I left, I leaned over Jake's bed and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you for being such a good friend today." I smiled and pushed myself away from the bed.
"Where was all this love and affection a few years ago?" he asked me with a mischievous smile, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Doesn't matter, I've moved on Bella. Try not to miss me."
"You have a girlfriend?" I asked before pulling the door open.
"Yup. Leah and I have been together for a few months now." He yawned and rolled back over onto this stomach. With a smile, I shut the door and ran as fast as I could to the elevator and parking lot.
I drove a hell of a lot faster than I should have, and once I pulled into the driveway, I wished I had driven a little slower. I still had no idea what I was going to say to him. I unlocked the door with shaking hands, and as I quietly dropped my keys on the kitchen counter, I could see a bluish light filtering out from our bedroom.
I tiptoed down the hallway, staying in the shadows. From the doorway, I looked into our room and bit my bottom lip nervously as I watched him.
Edward was sitting on the floor, his back propped up against the bed, his long legs bent at the knee with his elbows resting on them. He was staring at the muted TV, and when I looked at it briefly, I saw that he was watching the DVD of our wedding. I watched him pull a nearly empty bottle to his lips before saying something.
"Edward," I said quietly as I stepped out from the shadows. He looked over at me, the bottle still held to his mouth, his eyes blurred and confused.
When he didn't say anything, I walked towards him and slowly lowered myself onto the floor next to him. He watched me the entire time, and even when I pulled the bottle out of his hand, he only blinked slowly.
"Bella, what… What are you doing here?" he asked me in a deeply confused and exhausted voice.
"I'm ready to listen," I said quietly while holding his hands in my lap.
He looked down at my lap for a few moments before looking back up at me. His eyes held mine, and after a few moments I had to look away.
"I didn't cheat on you, ever…" he said quietly while still watching me.
I nodded for him to continue, and after taking a deep breath, he started explaining everything. I listened and nodded encouragingly when he started faltering while telling me exactly what happened while Tanya had stayed with him. The thought of him kissing her made my skin crawl, but if that was honestly all that happened, I could make myself deal with it.
"Bella, I promise you… That is all that ever happened," he said in a hoarse whisper as his hand toyed with my wedding ring; I couldn't leave it behind when I left the hotel. "I don't love Tanya."
"Why didn't you just tell me, Edward? I would have tried to understand," I asked him sadly. "You sat there and promised me I could trust you, but then you hide something like this for years."
His head dropped, and his fingers tightened around mine as he considered how to answer me.
"Because I was so scared you wouldn't even try to understand. I acted so horribly about the whole Mike thing; I really didn't need to add that on top of it." He sighed before looking back at me. "I had just gotten you back, and as much as I knew I should have told you, I couldn't. I made my parents promise me they wouldn't ever tell you. Even Tanya said she wouldn't."
His forehead creased as his eyes started filling with tears. "I had pushed you away from me for so long… I just couldn't risk it. I knew I had to be with you, that all of my fucking commitment issues and all of the bullshit with my parents didn't matter. I believed that as long as I had you then I could make this work. Now I just see how fucking selfish I was…"
He let go of my hand, leaning his elbows back against his knees, and rubbed his forehead roughly.
"Edward, it isn't selfish to be scared."
"No, but it was selfish to make you put up with the shit my mother dished out for years. It's selfish for me to expect you to be fine with Tanya being around all the time, all because I was too fucking concerned with my own needs." He looked back at me and shook his head. "Don't defend my actions, Bella."
I sighed and leaned against the bed and watched him, trying to read the emotions on his face. He was mad at himself, Tanya, and his mother. He was frustrated by the situation, exhausted from two days of no sleep, and probably a little drunk.
The silence that fell between us made me uncomfortable and nervous.
"I just wish you would have been honest with me about everything. About Tanya staying with you, about the flights together, the dinners… None of it would have been this bad if you would have just told me, Edward."
I watched him as he nodded his head slowly while looking at the floor.
"I hate that because of her stupid ass, I can't look back at the past three years without having doubts about everything we've been through. I hate that Tanya's lies have made me doubt you. Doubt us…"
Edward looked at me, his eyes frantic as I shook my head in frustration. "Bella, if we can move past this, I promise I won't ever hurt you again. We can move away from my parents, or I just won't talk to them anymore. I swear to God, I won't ever talk to any of them again if that's what you want…" He started rambling and clinging to me as the tears fell down this face.
"Edward…" I whispered as I hugged him.
He pulled me into his lap, holding me tightly against him. His whole body started shaking as he cried silently against my neck. I held onto his shoulders tightly and bit my lip to try and keep myself from crying, but when he pulled away from me so that he could look up at me, I lost it.
"I can't live without you Bella. I just… I can't," he said in a shaky whisper.
I nodded slowly as he gently reached up and wiped away the tears that were trailing down my face. My hand wrapped around his, and the two of us sat there crying and looking at each other.
"Please," Edward whispered over and over as I leaned my forehead against his. "Please don't leave me."
My breath came out in gasping sobs as he begged me. I held onto his neck as he pulled me even tighter against him, and knew that what Edward had said was the same for both of us. I couldn't live without him, and as much as I wanted to hate him for hurting me, I wanted to love him more.
I was naïve enough to believe that my life would be a fairytale once we got married. I had always assumed that the times between true loves' kiss and happily ever after were filled with blissful wonderment. But the storybooks left out the struggles that make it worth it. They left out the feeling of absolute heartache that can scare you to death, but in the same instance make you realize that with all of that pain comes healing and understanding.
"I love you," I whispered in a ragged breath that was broken by the sobs in my chest. "I can't leave you."
Edward sighed in relief, and on the floor of our bedroom in the early morning hours, we both realized exactly what it meant to love someone for better or worse. We always prayed for the better, but I knew that no matter what, we could always overcome the worse.
***
"You don't have to do this Bella." Edward held my hand tightly as we sat in the car outside the library. I smiled at him briefly before looking back at the few groups of people lingering outside before going in.
It had been two weeks since Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. Two weeks since Edward and I had made the choice to move forward together, and not look back at what had been two of the worst days of either one of our lives.
Esme had apologized profusely to both of us, giving no other explanation than the one she had given me at the hotel, simply saying she had learned her lesson. Her relationship with Edward wasn't something she was willing to sacrifice, and she claimed she would do whatever she had to do to prove she was serious. I let Edward make his own choice, one he was still debating, but I had already decided on mine.
Esme would always be Edward's mother, and I wouldn't make him choose between the two of us anymore. If he chose to see her then he could, but I was no longer interested in a relationship with her. If she wanted to come by the house I would leave. If he wanted to go there then I would stay home. It was as simple as that. I loved Edward, but just because I loved him didn't mean I had to love his family.
I had debated for the last few days about coming to this fundraiser. I had no desire to see Tanya or Esme. But in the end, I knew that if I didn't show up, Tanya would think she had gotten the best of me and I refused to give in. The library was a cause I really did believe in, and I wanted to be there to enjoy all of the fruits of my hard work.
"No, I need to do this." I looked back at him and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he got out of the car. As he walked around to let me out, I took a deep breath and prayed that God would be gentle on me tonight. I let Edward help me out of the car and we walked hand in hand up the steps of the library.
The foyer was still filled with people greeting each other, and I sighed as I saw Esme and Carlisle talking with a few of their friends.
"It's not too late to make an escape," Edward whispered as he wrapped an arm around my back, holding me tightly against him. I smiled, knowing that if I did indeed turn around and take off running, Edward would be behind me with no questions asked.
Carlisle smiled when he saw us, and although I could tell he was thinking of walking toward us, he only nodded in acknowledgement and let us pass by. Esme watched with sadness in her eyes, but Edward ignored her as he led me past them.
"See, piece of cake," I whispered as Edward grabbed us two flutes of champagne. He handed me my glass, and after giving me a wink, took a drink.
The evening passed with little excitement. The silent auction seemed to be a big hit with everyone, and when Edward bid on the private jam session in Jasper's new studio that Alice and Jasper had donated, I couldn't help but laugh. He could go by there anytime he wanted, but Edward told me it helped him sleep better at night if he paid for it.
I tried not to notice Esme or Tanya, but it was obvious that any time Tanya got anywhere near Esme or Carlisle, they walked away. I watched them curiously until I heard the Junior League president asking for me to join her. Edward gave me a quick kiss before I followed her, and once I reached the podium, I noticed Tanya standing there with a champagne flute in her hand, looking bored.
"I was planning on making a short announcement, and was wondering if either one of you wanted to say a little something since this was your project," Charlotte, the Junior League president, said. She smiled happily while looking between the two of us.
Before I could even open my mouth, Tanya agreed, and with a sigh I followed both of them onto the small stage. I listened as Charlotte spoke with great enthusiasm about how wonderful the event had turned out. When she handed Tanya the microphone, I saw both Edward and his parents look at me from opposite sides of the room.
In true Tanya fashion, she made her impromptu speech all about her. She hardly mentioned any of the work done by other people, especially anything that I'd been involved in or related to. When she took credit for the idea of the silent auction that I had spent months organizing, I thought Edward might come unglued. I guess it was surprising for people who had always believed Tanya could do no wrong, but I hadn't expected anything less. She was a selfish person with an ugly heart. As I watched her, I couldn't remember why I had always been so jealous of her. I had always thought she was so perfect, but as I stood there watching her, her flaws were obvious.
When she finished, I laughed before walking away. Edward met me at the bottom of the stairs, and after helping me off the last one, wrapped an arm around my waist. "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked after I pulled him by his tie down to kiss me.
"Absolutely," I said without hesitation, and we both made our way back through the foyer. I had done what I came to do, which was to prove to Esme and Tanya that they didn't intimidate me. They could think I was low life trash if they wanted, but at the end of the day, I was the one with a clean conscious.
"Oh damn!" I stopped as we were halfway out the door. "I forgot my clutch. It's sitting on the stairs by the podium."
"I'll go get it. Just wait here. I won't be two seconds," Edward said as he quickly walked back into the party.
Before he even disappeared around the corner, I saw Tanya out of the corner of my eye walking toward me. I sighed before she reached me, but smiled and looked at her. I refused to stoop down to her level, even if that meant I couldn't beat the shit out of her.
"Tanya," I said in acknowledgement.
"So you think it's just that easy?" she asked while smiling down at me.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said before turning to leave. She grabbed my arm as I tried to walk past her and I looked down at her hand on my arm and back up to her smug face. Stooping to her level was looking more and more tempting.
"If you think that you can change how the Cullen's feel about me just by pouting for a few weeks then you're wrong. Eventually they will see what everyone else does," she said while glaring down at me.
"And what is that?" I asked sweetly while pulling my arm away from her.
"That you are white trash Bella. It's painfully obvious that you don't fit in here, and I really don't understand why you can't just take the hint already." She laughed and let go of my arm.
"Here's a hint for you Tanya, Edward married me. He picked me. So please stop your selfish-ass attempts at getting him back, because they won't work. All you are doing is making this uncomfortable for everyone involved and ruining a friendship with one of your best friends," I told her while she glared at me.
"You don't know anything about my friendship with Edward. As for his parents, it's only a matter of time before I'm back in favor with Esme." She shook her head and spoke to me like I was a child. "Edward loves his mother, and eventually she will convince him that you are trash. Esme has been planning on Edward and me getting married since we were children, and they already think of me as a daughter…"
Tanya was interrupted by a loud voice.
"I already have a daughter."
We both turned to find Esme, Carlisle, and Edward standing behind us. Edward looked furious, but it was Esme that had spoken. She walked toward me and wrapped an arm around my waist while giving a frightening glare to Tanya.
"Bella is my daughter," she told her.
Carlisle stood by my side. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "I think you should leave Tanya," he said simply while Tanya looked helplessly at Edward.
Edward glared at her, his fists at his sides clinched in anger. I watched as he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down, but it didn't seem to be working.
"Edward…" she said helplessly while reaching for his hand.
"Do. Not. Touch. Me," he growled at her while taking a slow step toward her. "If you ever threaten or disrespect my wife again, I will personally see to it that you regret it. Leave my family alone, and leave me alone. Do you understand?"
I pulled away from Esme and Carlisle to stand between Edward and Tanya. I didn't think Edward would ever be the type to hurt a woman, but I had also never seen him this mad. I pushed lightly on his chest until he finally looked down at me.
"Let it go." I smiled up at him as my fingers unclenched his fists and threaded themselves between his. "Let it go."
He looked at me for a second before nodding. He reached down to pick my bag up off of the floor, and hand-in-hand, the two of us walked past Tanya. When we reached Carlisle and Esme, I pulled on Edward's hand to stop.
"Thank you," I told both of them. Carlisle smiled as Esme nodded and briefly took my hand.
"You're welcome," she said softly before squeezing my hand and letting it go.
Edward and I walked outside, and as I leaned against him, he wrapped his arm wrapped around my shoulders. We would always have problems. After all life isn't a fairytale, but we could handle anything if we were together.
Edward would probably always be spoiled, impulsive, and maybe a little too cocky for his own good. I would always be too opinionated, a little unsure of myself, and say the most inappropriate things. We would continue to fight over stupid things like Starburst wrappers, Xbox games, and him using the wrong towels to clean with. The honeymoon was definitely over for us, but it was what waited between now and our happily ever after that mattered most.
The End.
A/N
*sigh* It's over. I don't know if this ending was what everyone expected, and I am sure not every single reader will be pleased with it, but it's how I needed it to end. I have to believe that there is a chance for Esme to REALLY learn from her mistakes and maybe have a semi normal relationship with Edward and Bella someday. I have to believe that, because I hope my own relationships with my MILs will not always be awkward and heartbreaking, for me that would be a happy ending. That being said I am sure there are a lot of questions you guys have, I will do my best to answer all of them.
I have to say thank you to every single one of you reading this. There is no way I can express how much this story has helped me. It has given me an outlet for one of the worst parts of my life, helping me remember to laugh at the ridiculous situations I find myself in. Several of you have sent me messages saying that you also have strained relationships with your in-laws, and I hope this was able to help you guys too. So thank you for sharing in the laughter and tears. I considered doing a sequel, but I really think that my Edward and Bella's back story is something I need to explore. So I am seriously considering a prequel. So if you want to know what their first date was like or exactly how many times they had sex in Esme's pool on the fourth of July then you will need to read it. Not sure when I will be posting it, but I do have a few chapters written already.
And now for the sad ass part… *sigh*…. I have to say that all of this, this entire story, is dedicated to a select few people: to my husband for putting up with my obsessions, my best friend for being one of the only people who really understands how horrible MILs can be. Also, for my mom, because she is my biggest supporter and always encourages me, even when it involves an assload of f-bombs and sex scenes. Becca, Paige, Christina, Lauren, Britney, Stella, Miriam, Raf, Megs, Jules, Em, Mel, Angela, Kim and anyone else I might have left out.. Thank you. Last but not least to Di. You were my first Twilight friend, and by us connecting over that silly icon you helped me move past one of the most depressing stages of my life. You encouraged me when I thought I wasn't good enough, slapped me around when I was being too hard on myself, and always always kept me true to what I wanted this story to be; not what I thought other people wanted it to be. Thank you for being there for me in more ways than I can count, and I am honored to consider you one of my best friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
-Charlsa