A/N: Reward for your patience? Well, alright. :)

(21)

They fell into an uneasy rhythm over the course of the next few days. It was more awkward at the apartment, where they bumped into each other, fingers brushed the backs of hands as they reached across each other in what had once been a comfortable friendship. Their friendship had not changed. There was something new in the room, though, and neither woman had the experience to deal with it. Alex was friendly with a handful of her exes, not all, but they were not exes. It was incredibly clear, too, that they were both reacting to the touches, the glances, the accidents, and the not-so accidents.

Casey dated Charlie properly, though, with Alex her guiding factor. At the end of the week, Charlie tried to get Casey to move back in, but the red head had told him that she would not. The next thing out of her mouth was her asking Alex if she could still say or if she needed to get an apartment. Alex had opted to leave that to Casey's comfort level saying only that Casey would always be welcome. Casey had opted to stay. Her choice was met with feelings of conflict on both sides. One one hand, Alex was glad Casey wanted to stay. At the apartment, she knew Charlie was not hitting her, that she was safe every night, and that she was eating appropriately, all things she had not known while Casey was living with her boyfriend. On the other hand, she was close to the one woman she wanted and could not have, and she knew that Casey wanted her, too. Neither woman had denied that much. There was mutual attraction, and, whether or not Casey could accept that she was attracted sexually to a woman, she was attracted to Alex.

Yet, true to her word, Alex had tried to move past her feelings for Casey. A few weeks was not enough time, though, and she found that she had taken to showering more frequently solely to give herself space from the red head. Casey's solution was that she took longer and longer runs when she went, picked up extra hours at the cafe, and studied at the library at the college. By the time February hit, they had a routine down where the tension built up in the apartment to an unbearable point wherein Alex would either leave or go shower and, while she was in the shower, Casey would disappear, especially if Alex's now famous forty minute showers were not enough time for the red head to feel comfortable.

It was tense over all, but it was also comfortable and easy. The conflict was killing Alex slowly but surely. At least, though, she was good at putting on a politician's mask and covering it up until it burbled over and became too much. But, then, alone time was good. After a month of this, Alex's landlord simply added Casey to the lease as it was assumed the woman was not going to leave. In fact, their landlord was under the impression that Alex had settled down since the arrival of Casey seemed to place only those two women at the apartment. Or, if others were there as well, both women were usually in attendance. Plus, it was only a one bedroom. It seemed the most natural of conclusions.

Usually, Alex stayed up to wait for Casey to return from her dates with Charlie, and it just so happened that one night late February was no exception to that rule. Granted, Alex was curled up in bed, the lights off, though not sleeping but listening for Casey's key to turn in the lock, for the two to say goodbye and then for Casey to curl up beside her, a warm and familiar weight at her back. Habit dictated that, then, Casey would whisper, "I know you're awake," and Alex would smile as Casey's hand rested on Alex's hip, the blond's hand atop that. They would fall asleep like that, with Casey at Alex's back. But, always, they would wake up with Alex holding Casey close to her, the red head curled against Alex's stomach.

That night, though, Casey crouched before Alex, and even in the darkness, Alex could see the glint of moonlight in Casey's eyes. "What's wrong, hot shot?" Alex asked.

Casey wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Charlie and I got into a fight," Casey whispered. Alex scooted back in the bed and lifted the sheets, and Casey, still clad in her black evening dress, crawled in and coiled beside Alex's pajama clad form. In the silence, Alex waited for Casey to continue. The tension between Charlie and Alex had, too, grown, though they were civil to each other. Casey was not oblivious to such things, but had chalked it up to the confused melee of emotions swarming them. "He asked me again to move back in with them. He said he wanted things back the way they were."

Slowly, Alex stroked Casey's curled hair behind her ear, the curls so tight that they immediately fell back around her face. Normally, Casey straightened her hair, but she had been on a kick for a few days of putting the tight curls in her hair leaving ringlets that made her hair look a great deal shorter than it really was. "What did you say?"

"I told him that was why I still lived here. I don't want things back that way, with him off his meds. He swore that he would stay on them. He asked me to help him, Alex, by helping to remind him to take his meds." Casey stopped, chewing at her lip, her breath warm on Alex's chin and neck. "I told him he hardly liked me checking in with him when we went out, asking if he had taken his pills. He wouldn't want me to do it every day. Then, he went in on how I couldn't tell him what he would and would not like. Eventually, that became him accusing me of not being able to trust him, of not wanting to spend time with him any more, and of me making the relationship fall apart."

Alex exhaled. "Casey, you know that's not true, right?"

"I know. I want to spend time with him, but not every waking minute. We talked about that. I remember. It's not healthy for anyone to have that much control over when and where I go, even if it is well intentioned. I feel better knowing that I can be here and not have to worry. It was so uncomfortable for me to live with him. Not because I don't love him, but just because we're dating. You, okay, well I can't live with a man I'm dating. It's not proper. And, I told him that. He said you were filling my head."

Chuckling, Alex played with one of Casey's curls. "You're far too intelligent for me to fill your head. And, you're far too stubborn and willful. What was the outcome of the argument?"

"Charlie told me I needed to pick." Casey sounded both ashamed and terrified, as though she had already offended herself and she might also offend Alexandra.

"You'll have to spell that out for me."

"He wants me to move in or he wants to break up."

"What do you want?" Alex asked, voice soft and soothing as Casey's tears started afresh, accompanied by small, hiccuping sobs.

"Neither," Casey said. "I can't win."

"Do you lose?" Alex asked. Casey tilted her head in question. "In a relationship, it's okay to not win as long as you don't lose. You make sacrifices, so you don't always win. But, if you make the right sacrifices and you love and are loved in honesty by the person you're with, you don't lose, either. Does that make sense?"

Casey nodded. "Sure. A sacrifice for the greater cause." She shrugged. "I don't know if I lose, then. I'm not sure. How do I know?"

"That's one question you'll have to answer yourself, hot shot."

"You make me feel like such a little kid, Ali," Casey bemoaned, slumping against the blond. "You're such an ass." There was a light laughter in her tone, though, so Alex knew she was at least pulling herself together.

"I knew there had to be a reason you kept me around," Alex said with a smile. She ran her nails up and down Casey's arm a few times. "Alright, hot shot. Change into P.J's, and I'll got make us both some cocoa."

Casey groaned, rolling over and sliding out of the covers. "What would I do without you?" she asked, already wiggling her body out of the dress. She would still flush if Alex accidentally walked in on her while she was changing, but she was beginning to become more bold with the idea of other people seeing her change. Casey's bubble was disintegrating, and she knew it, but there were still several concepts she held fast to for the sake of comfort.

"You'd survive." Alex padded out of the room and into the kitchen, pouring milk into two mugs and microwaving them. Normally, she liked to heat the milk on the stove and mix in the chocolate that way, but that evening, they were both so very close to passing out that it seemed more reasonable just to give them something warm and comforting. It was almost a ritual if one of them had a bad day, then the other would make cocoa before bed, and they would drink it. Neither of them said anything. It was just something they fell into without planning or preparation. It was, like so many things, natural between them.

Carrying the mugs back into the bedroom, Alex found Casey curled up on Alex's side of the bed, the pillow pressed into her face, eyes closed, though her breathing was still not right for sleep. "Hey, bed hog," Alex teased, setting the mugs down on the bedside table before playfully pushing Casey over.

"I thought about it," Casey said. Alex's brow knit. "You said I would survive without you, and that might be true, but I don't think I would be this happy."

"You wouldn't have met Charlie," Alex observed.

Casey pursed her lips. "You mean you think I would be happier," the red haired student returned.

Pressing a cup into Casey's hands, Alex frowned. "I didn't say that."

"I wouldn't know you," Casey said with a sigh, taking a sip of the steaming liquid. "I would think I would be far less happy. And, Charlie doesn't make me unhappy."

"Okay," Alex said, not wanting to fight.

Casey scooted over in the bed so that their hips were touching, and she sighed. "You know, I think it would mean a lot to him if you gave him a second chance," she observed, biting at her lip. "He says it doesn't matter to him that you think of him only in terms of his mental illness, but I think it really bothers him."

"I don't think of him in terms of his mental illness, Casey," Alex protested. "I think of him in terms of the little bruises along your shoulders when you first moved in with me. I think of him in terms of how he holds your religious beliefs over your head. I think of him in terms of how he manipulates you and makes you feel less certain of your own wants and desires. I think of him in terms of when you come home in tears because he's not satisfied with you."

"You think of him like an abuser, Alex. He's not abusive." Alex looked deliberately away, sucking her lower lip between her teeth. If she did not do that, she might have burst. "Alex, you can't tell me you think he's abusive."

"I don't think, Casey," Alex murmured. "I know. I've been in those relationships."

"He's not. Maybe your exes were, but, Alex, he's not. I swear. He has trouble sometimes, and I know it's because of his mental illness, but that does not define him as a person. Pure abuse, though, that's the person. Charlie's just not like that. He's not."

"You know him better than I do," Alex conceded, knowing that she was going to lose that battle only because Casey would refuse any evidence Alex could offer.

"He's not," Casey whispered, staring at the liquid in her mug. "If he were hurting me, I wouldn't stay with him. It's just normal issues."

"Okay, honey," Alex purred, combing her fingers through Casey's curls. She gently took the cup from Casey's hands and, leaning over the woman, put the mug on the nightstand, turning out the bedside lamp. "Sleep well."

"Night, Lex," Casey mumbled, laying down, her body tight against Alex's. It was far from unusual for the red haired woman to cling like death to her blond friend, and there were nights where Alex would wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the bathroom and have to pry Casey off her. One night, she had to replace her body with a pillow, and Casey had still woken up, groggy and confused as to why Alex was not in bed and why she was clutching a pillow.

Having become accustomed to being the sleeping mate of her friend, though, Alex no longer found it difficult to fall asleep, even when Casey's grip was just a little too forceful, as though she were fearful, even in her sleep, of losing her best friend. Combing her fingers through Casey's hair, Alex stared at the ceiling, waiting for Casey to fall asleep first. It had become habit for the blond, and, true to her word, Alex had not pushed the issue of their mutual attraction even when that meant chewing at her lip late at night, fuming over Charlie's treatment of Casey and a frustrating sexual attraction to her bed mate.

Casey groaned in her sleep, pushing herself up tighter against Alex's body, one arm thrown across Alex's stomach so that she was clinging to Alex's hip bone. Whimpering, Casey jerked, momentarily pulling Alex over the fitted sheet and hard into Casey's body. After a second, though, Casey's grip relaxed, and her arm fell slack over Alex's stomach. Alex knew the woman was having a nightmare, though she did not dare wake her, only stayed awake long enough to ensure that the nightmare was not too terrifying before drifting off herself.

When Alex woke the next morning, it was before Casey. At some point in the night, Casey had rolled over, and Alex had rolled with her such that they were both on their sides, pressed against each other. As with most mornings, Alex took a moment to appreciate the fact that Casey's body fit perfectly against hers before she slid away from her friend and out of the covers, already pulling her hair into a messy pony tail. Her friend's body might have fit along hers as if they were made to lay together like that, but that did not mean that it was going to turn sexual at any time. Alex was fully aware of that fact. Casey strove for what she considered normal. Alex just wished that Casey could see that what she considered to be normal was nothing close to the reality she was living with.

For one, Casey was living with a woman to whom, minus the whole sexual aspect of the relationship, she might as well have been married to considering how well they read each other and how their organization worked within the house. Other than when tensions grew too solid, they worked off each other in the way that couples did after several years of good communication and marriage did. To put things simply, they just flowed together.

For another, Casey was dating a man who was mentally ill despite taking medications to control it, who was at least still verbally abusive, and who could be physically abusive when not taking his medication. Casey might have sworn up and down that he was not abusive to her, but in Alex's mind, any man who made her cry the way Casey sometimes cried over Charlie was, at the very least, verbally abusive. But, then, Alex considered the level of manipulation that Charlie apparently attempted, and often succeeded, in using against Casey. For a future attorney, Casey just did not seem to have it in her to be mean.

Casey turned in her sleep, her hand falling on the empty side of the bed where she had become too accustomed to finding Alex. Her brown knit in her sleep, and Alex quietly knelt beside the bed, her arm stretched over the covers, fingers lacing just minutely in Casey's. "I'm here, Casey," she whispered. "It's okay."

Still asleep, Casey smiled, her knotted brow smoothing over as her fingers tightened in Alex's. In her sleep, Casey looked so utterly peaceful, as though there were never a care in the world for her. But, when she was awake, Alex knew, she seemed troubled and divided, stressed from balancing school and work and her personal life. Stressed from her personal life, too, Alex thought.

Folding herself on the bed, Alex sat beside Casey, legs crossed, stroking Casey's hair for several minutes until the blond moaned, scooting around in her sleep, her head sliding from the pillow to Alex's knee, and, as Casey settled, eventually into Alexandra's lap. With a sigh, the older of the two women brushed Casey's hair from her face, fanning it out over her folded legs. Casey promptly messed the display, though, as she wrapped her arms up and around Alex's waist so that she was laying on her stomach, hugging Alex.

"You're too fucking adorable," Alex muttered, chuckling softly. "I wish I could get over you, but it's kind of hard to do when you're in my lap all the time." She sighed, shaking her head. "This would be a lot easier if we didn't see each other, at least not as much. But, then, I'd miss you too much."

As if in response, Casey rubbed her face against Alex's thigh as if trying to get comfortable, her hands adjusting around Alex's body. "Five more minutes, Bobby," Casey murmured. "It's a good dream."

Smiling, Alex traced Casey's jaw. "Oh?" she asked. "What's it about?"

"I'm happy," Casey murmured, her words thick with sleep. Alex grinned. The woman had answered the question in her sleep, her brain believing that she was talking to her older brother.

"Happiness is good to dream about," Alex murmured, her voice low and soft. "What's making you so happy in the dream?"

"Alex," Casey mumbled, burying herself deeper against the blond in question.

"Oh? Must be a special guy to make you happy."

"She is," Casey slurred, her lips parting as she finished speaking, her breathing noisy, but not a snore.

Where Casey slept in peace and happiness, Alex was suddenly tormented. On one hand, she was warm, basking in the idea that whatever Casey was dreaming about, it involved Alex and it made her happy. On the other, she knew she would not be permitted to breech the conversation in Casey's waking minutes because they had already sworn that they would not. But, then, Alex did not know how long their emotions could go without being discussed in depth and totality. They had been able to cope for the most part with the tension because, at least for Alex, her friendship with Casey was more important.

Settling in for a long morning of sheer torment, Alex leaned back against the headboard, still stroking Casey's hair absently. "Five more minutes, then, hot shot," Alex murmured, her fingers tracing Casey's jaw line to her lips. Alex touched the tip of her finger to the space created between Casey's lips as she breathed. Even in sleep, Casey opened her mouth wider. Or, perhaps, it was better to say that only in sleep did she opened her mouth wider, letting Alex trace her pad over the bumps and ridges of her white teeth, her finger never leaving Casey's lip.

With a sigh, Casey closed her mouth around Alex's finger, still lost to the realm of her dream, almost automatically, sucking on the digit, her tongue curled around Alex's slender finger. It took a great deal of effort to withdraw her finger without making a strange sound as her stomach did flip flops. "Oh, Casey, hot shot, you so cannot do that, not even in your sleep. I'm gonna have to stop giving in to temptation."

Moaning, Casey turned in Alex's lap, doing a strange wiggle until Alex found herself half leaning against the headboard and half laying out on the mattress, Casey's head on her stomach, arms wrapped around her body, and legs entwined with hers. "God, I wish you were a lesbian," Alex purred, combing her fingers through Casey's hair. "I wish you could just fall in love with me."

Casey hummed as though in agreement, pressing her cheek into Alex's stomach. "Bobby, did you get the thing?"

"What thing, Case?" Alex asked, with a small laugh, the red head talking to her in her sleep again.

"The, you know. Before mom finds out."

"Oh, yea. I got that."

"Good. Lemme have it."

Alex laughed, the movement of her body stirring the red head to wakefulness. "Huh? Stop laughing. I was sleeping."

"I know," Alex mused, rubbing her hands over Casey's shoulders. "You were talking in your sleep."

Casey flushed. "About what?" she asked, looking ashamed.

With a Cheshire grin, Alex asked, "Why are you so nervous?"

Casey sat up on her knees, still between Alex's legs. "I don't know," she said, looking down at the blond. "Look at us. We wake like we're lovers or something." She reached forward and pulled Alex's shirt down to cover her stomach, the skin bare where Casey's movements had pushed it upwards.

"If by that you mean I'm your human body pillow," Alex teased, trying to ease the sudden, thick tension thrumming in the bedroom, "then, yes."

Flushing again, Casey looked studiously at her hands. "Sorry. It's just – I like – I – it's nice to have someone to hold me when I sleep. I get a lot of nightmares."

"I noticed. What's that about?"

Casey shrugged. "I have good dreams, too."

The Cheshire cat grin returning to her face, Alex nodded. "I noticed that, too."

Covering her face with her hands, Casey shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to talk in my sleep. It doesn't happen very often."

"No? Well, if it makes you feel any better, you were asking Bobby for something that he was supposed to get but you wanted to keep secret from your mom." Alex raised a brow. Casey shrugged with a shake of her head as if to say that she did not remember that part of her dream. The blond was not about to tell her friend that her sleeping slips had announced to Alex that the red head dreamed about her. Based on her reaction, Alex would say Casey already felt guilty enough about that. She was not about to feel responsible for adding shame to that list.

Casey played with her nails, picking at the skin around them and peeling it back. "Stop doing that," Alex murmured, pushing Casey over lightly with her foot.

Laughing, Casey sprawled over the bed. "Nervous habit."

"Do I make you nervous?" Alex asked, one hand on either side of Casey's chest as she leaned over her. Casey offered only a pointed look as if to say that Alex knew damn well she did. "Case, I have to know, are we ever going to talk about it?"

Casey sighed. "I'm going to marry an educated white man because that is what is expected of me, Alex. I'm not like you. I'm not this rebel princess marching into the unknown. I need the safety of my family, and my family would never – my mom would freak the fuck out if she knew I'd kissed you."

As Casey bit her lip, Alex sighed. "You wanted to say more. Why not say it?"

Casey shook her head, eyes closed. "I can't, Alex."

"What else happened to Steph, Case? Be honest."

"You mean other than the fact that my parents talk about her like she died in some freak accident? Like their beautiful daughter went off and got a fucking sex change, not was merely interested in being with women? Why is this the morning conversation?" Casey watched Alex carefully, her eyes widening in the silence between them. "Ali, what else did I say?"

"You said you were dreaming about me, and it made you happy," Alex whispered. "I know you feel guilty about the dream, and I didn't want to make you more upset by telling you what you said. Did you really dream about me?"

Casey went a shade of crimson so dark that it put her hair to shame. Her chest flushed with color as did her arms and stomach. "I dream about you a lot, Ali, both good and bad."

"Like what? What were you dreaming about earlier?"

Casey shrugged. "It's no big deal."

"No, come on. What was it about?"

"I'm hungry," Casey mused, looking at the doorway of the bedroom.

Alex sat back, giving the woman some space. "Does it really make you that uncomfortable to tell me?" she asked, not sure if she ought to feel saddened by the revelation or not. It would not be a surprise to her if the answer was yes, but it was still somewhat disheartening.

"I suppose not," Casey answered with a light shrug. "I just wonder why bother talking about the impossible anyway, even if it is but a dream."

"Because you're going to marry a good, well educated, white man who found God."

"Not necessarily who found God. But, Alex, really, what are we going to do? We're two girls. Even in Greece, women kept their mistresses on the side of the husband most frequently. I couldn't do that, not with you. Not with anyone."

Hugging herself briefly, Alex shook her head. "Why not?"

"Why can't I have an affair with a woman?" Casry's brows went up. "For one, Charlie would kill me if he found out. He would be so livid, Alex. I don't think you understand just how jealous he is of you."

At that, Alex had to smile. "I knew," she returned. "I just didn't think that you did. What are the other reasons?"

"My family would disown me. How do I tell an eight year old kid that she can't see both of her big sisters any more?" Alex had to concede. That was a good point.

"Do you have to tell them?"

"And, if they ask?" Casey retorted, frown crossing her unmarred features.

"Will they?" Alex challenged, brows arched high into her bangs.

Casey sighed.

"Moot point, then. So, you're back to Charlie not approving of me."

"Which is important to me, Alex."

"Yet, here you are, not only my best friend but my roommate," Alex pointed out, her tone observational and careful. She did not want Casey to think it was a subtle suggestion to move out. That was the last thing Alex wanted the woman to do.

Casey frowned. "Fine. Fine, Alex. I don't know. My heart and my head are torn, and it's not just between themselves." Casey was irritated, and it was showing in her tone. "I don't have a fucking clue. Everything about me says it won't last long."

"What do you want to do right now more than anything in the world between us?" Alex snapped, nearing the end of her proverbial rope. "Because, Casey, if we don't hash this out, I don't know how much longer I'm going to last before I do something that while I won't regret the act, the outcome will be a different story."

The response she got floored her almost literally. Casey's mouth crashed over hers with a wet, hot need that made Alex's pulse race. Casey's hands pressed into Alex's cheeks, drawing the woman closer to her, deepening the kiss, her tongue tracing Alex's teeth. Still, Alex did not respond the way Casey obviously wanted her to, though, because Casey growled in frustration, grinding her teeth against Alex's to the point where Alex yelped, jerking backwards. "Casey, what the hell?"

"You asked," Casey barked, brows knit in frustration. "I'm sorry you suddenly don't want a demonstration. What? Now it's okay to do your little song and dance as long as I'm asleep." Alex's eyes widened. "Yea. Oh, yea. I know. I've known. I wake up easy, Alex. We've shared a bed for how many weeks now, and you don't know that? Because I know if I touch your nose with my nail, you swat at me and if I walk my fingers down your arm, you'll turn to that side. I know when you have nightmares, you pull me to you and tuck your knees behind mine, and when I have nightmares, you stroke my hair and whisper in my ear. I know if I blow air in your ear, you pull the covers over your head. I know when you get too hot, you stick your foot off the end of the bed even if that means putting your leg over mine to do it."

Alex chewed the inside of her cheek. "I- I-" she stammered, her mouth working without her brain being able to catch up. "I had no idea you paid that much attention to me."

"You pay any less?"

Smiling flirtatiously, Alex lowered her head, looking up through her eye lashes at Casey. "You wanna play that game? What about when I wake up with your hands on my hips, between my pants and my skin, hot shot? Or when you mutter my name when I crawl in bed behind you. Or how you bite your lip before you wake up and moan in your sleep and how you feel around in the bed when I get out of the bed before you. That you like to wrap yourself up in the covers and I have to fight you for them around two o'clock in the morning every morning. That when you sleep on your stomach, you lay on your pillow and tuck your hands under your cheek. And, when you watch me when you come home from the cafe and think I'm taking a nap, so you lay down with me, but I'm awake. I just like you near me."

"Then why the fuck is it so hard to kiss me back?" Casey yelped, coiling the sheets in her hands and pulling the blanket up over her chest as she sat up.

Alex shook her head, slipping from the bed. "That's not it, Casey. Jesus fucking Christ, if it were a matter of wanting to kiss you or not, there would be no question. You're not asking for a sexual relationship from me, Casey. You're not that kind of girl. You're passionate and romantic, not really fuck buddy material."

"It's a kiss, Alex. Shit, I'm not even fucking Charlie."

"I know!" Alex yelled, her nails digging into her neck. "But, Casey, for women like you, it's not just a kiss. It's never just a kiss. You're an all in woman."

"If I were just a fuck buddy, would you have kissed me?" Casey asked, suddenly sounding small.

Alex shook her head. "No," she said, exhaling slowly as she stood up, leaving the bed and very nearly the bedroom, standing somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the room. "No, Casey, because that's not how I feel about you. I've met women and men that I just want to fuck and leave. But, with you, I wouldn't care if we never had a sexual relationship. I would rather be your friend than someone who I just had sex with."

Casey was not certain whether or not Alex was angry with her or just frustrated. It was clear that Alex was frustrated, but Casey was not sure whether or not that frustration and anger was directed at her or just in general. Scrambling out of bed, Casey touched her fingers to Alex's wrist. "Hey, Ali, I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry."

"Close your eyes, hot shot," Alex instructed, her voice soft. Casey followed the instruction, exhaling softly as Alex's fingers brushed her cheeks. Warm breath met her cheek, Alex's lips pressed up against her skin, soft and warm. Her lips moved to Casey's jaw, her teeth gently scraping over her skin as she nibbled. Tilting her head back, Casey groaned. Alex's fingers traced up Casey's stomach, tripping over the fabric of her shirt until she met with bare skin, continuing up Casey's neck to her mouth. Alex traced Casey's lips, freezing as Casey's tongue flicked out to meet her fingers. "Jesus, Case."

"The tension in this house is so thick you can cut it with a knife, Alex."

"You understand what you're suggesting?" Alex murmured, kissing a line down Casey's neck. The woman nodded. "Tell me. I want to make sure you understand."

"I'm asking for an affair, Alex."

"You swear to God you're not going to emotionally beat yourself up over this?"

"I make no promises about that, but I'll try."

"Your parents?" Alex asked. "Because I know you don't like to lie."

"I won't tell if you won't. God. Damn. It, Alex," Casey growled, "Kiss me." Casey felt Alex smile against her skin, her mouth moving around her neck, hands pulling her hair from her body, letting it fall over her shoulder. Whimpering as the blond's mouth found the top of Casey's spine, Casey's back bowed. "Oh, God, Ali."

Alex raked her nails lightly down Casey's arms to her finger tips, the red head breathing heavily in front of her. Lacing her fingers in Casey's, Alex pulled down slightly until Casey followed suit and knelt on the floor, her decent slow and controlled, Alex's mouth around her ear lobe.

Kneeling behind Casey, Alex wrapped her arms around Casey, kissing along her jaw line. Without warning, Casey moved her head, catching Alex's lips with her own. Alex planted small, soft kisses on Casey's lower lip, the red head's mouth slightly parted. She deepened the kiss easily, Casey moaning into her mouth as they met each other halfway, tasting and exploring each other's mouth.

"You sure you're okay?" Alex murmured as they parted.

Casey nodded. "Yea. You?"

Alex nodded. "I like holding you like this, Casey." Alex nuzzled her face into Casey's neck. "It feels good."

"I'm so fucked."

"Don't tart."