Since your relapse, things have been sluggish. Dave, Rose, and Jade's birthdays came and went, followed by Christmas. Dave got a custom made set of turntables from Dirk, Karkat got a new (thicker, since it's winter) sweater from Kanaya, and you got the bunny from Con Air, since you lost the one from your universe during the game. You end up refusing Karkat's invitation to sleep with him and spent the rest of the night quietly crying to yourself for reasons you're not quite sure you understand.

You guess you made more noise than expected, because Dave came in half an hour later and sat next to you, falling back on the mattress. He listened to you talk. You don't think you've ever talked that much about yourself. You talked about your dad, about all of the Christmases you spent with him. You talked about your depression and why you cut, and how hard it was not to. He just laid there, watching your face go through all of these old emotions.

You told Karkat the next day that you wanted to go to therapy. His face lit up, he was so proud of you. When he said that, you felt your stomach drop. You never want to hear those words again. Karkat never noticed, he was too busy hugging you. After talking to Rose and Kanaya, it wasn't long until you had an appointment set up for that Friday. Once the date was set and the call ended, it felt as though the house itself sighed in relief.

You find out the day before your appointment that your therapist is Aranea. You don't quite remember who she is, but you think she's related to Vriska? Rose and Karkat assure you she is a very nice person, and it helps to assuage your anxiety.

~Raeeeeeeeee

The waiting room is dull, a mix of pastels that you figure are meant to relax the people waiting to be seen. It feels like an eternity before a cleanly dressed woman with white framed glasses calls your name from a door you hadn't noticed before. You feel your stomach turn and get up to follow her. You make turn after turn until you're not sure where you are, and she opens the door to what must be her office.

It looks the same as the waiting room, muted colours with abstract art lining two of the four walls. You sit in the seat closest to the door and she sits at her desk, which faces the wall to your right. Her legs cross and you can vaguely hear the friction of her stockings. She grabs a little flip notepad and you swallow.

She must have seen your reaction; she's quick to raze your anxiety. " Nothing to worry about, John. I'm simply going to ask you some questions and take notes." You nod mutely and she looks down at her notepad.

"So John, what's your favourite colour?" Your mouth opens then shuts almost immediately. What a weird question. This was therapy, not... let's-be-friends time. Regardless, you try to look her in the eyes and answer her question.

"U-Uh... Blue...?" You curse internally at how weak your voice sounded. Aranea either didn't notice or didn't care to mention it as she writes something in her notepad.

"Is there a specific kind of blue you like?" You shake your head and she gives a small nod. "I myself favour cerulean, since it's my blood colour." You give a slight nod, looking down at your feet.

"What are your hobbies?"

"Hobbies?"

"Yes John, hobbies. Like, things you like to do?"

You think for a moment before answering. "Well, I like to bake and prank my friends... And I watch a lot of movies." Aranea looks up from her notepad, "What kind of movies?"

You shift in the chair, "Well, I'll watch anything with Nic Cage or Matthew McConaughey, but if it's a question of genre, I'd say action."

Aranea finishes writing and re-crosses her legs. "Do you watch these movies with anyone?"

You smile brightly and sit up more. "Oh, yeah! I watch them with my boyfr- matesprit, Karkat. Sometimes my friend Dave will watch one with me, but he always says I have a bad taste in movies."

Aranea smiles, "Oh, you and Karkat are matesprits? Good for you two." You nod, "Yep! He was actually the reason I came today; he told me you're pretty cool and helped me calm down earlier."

Aranea nods and sets her notepad back on her desk, folding her hands in her lap. "I understand you lost your lusus during the game?" You sigh, closing your eyes. You knew it wouldn't be this easy. "Yeah... It's been hard..."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

You don't want to, but you know you should. You nod, taking a deep breath. "Before the game, when me and my friends still lived in our universe... It was just me and my dad. We had a lot of great moments, and we were each other's rocks. Then the game started, and my dad kind of... disappeared. I spent so long looking for him. In reality it was probably – technically – only a day, but it felt so much longer. The imps kept getting in my way, and I felt like they were bothering me on purpose. Well, of course they were, but I felt like it was because they didn't want me to find my dad.

"Eventually I found his car, which Rose had dropped after I entered the veil. I was alone for so long. Sure, my friends and some of the trolls pestered me, but I had nobody beside me. I was alone.

"I finally met up with Rose, but she looked... sick. She was grey and I couldn't understand a word she said... We went to go look for our parents. We finally found them, but they... They were dead. Jack Noir had killed them. Rose and I confronted him, and he killed me. I don't know what happened, but when I woke up, Rose was dead!

"The next part was kind of gross. I had to kiss Rose's corpse. It's still creepy to think about..."

Aranea nods, a sympathetic look on her face. "So is it fair to say that your father's death still bothers you?" You nod and she looks at her desk clock. "Well John, it seems our time is up. Next week we can talk more about this, or you could always call me if you need to."

You thank her and let yourself out of the office, surprising yourself when you find your way back to the waiting room.

~Raeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

When you get home you find that Karkat made spaghetti. Both he and Dave are in the middle of an argument when you walk into the dining room, and they quiet when they see you. Dave is the first to speak.

"So how was it?"

You shrug, tired from your therapy session and having to recall your father's death. You sit next to Karkat and he kisses you. You eat dinner in silence until Karkat suggests a movie. Dave refuses to watch anything with Nic Cage, and Karkat teams up with you when you point out Dave's movie taste is shit. In the end you decide to marathon the Jeff Dunham specials. The house is filled with laughter and by the end of the second movie you're all yawning.

You and Karkat go to bed together, sharing lazy kisses and cuddling under the covers of the human bed Karkat bought a few months back. His room has been rearranged, as has yours, so that any potentially sharp and/or dangerous objects were removed. Karkat is asleep within minutes, his soft snores echoing off the walls. You close your eyes and try to relax, but your mind refuses to turn off.

~Raeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Over the next few weeks you and Aranea compile a list of what she calls "Coping Mechanisms".

So far you have the following:

reading

talking to Karkat

baking

taking a walk

watching a movie

drawing

talking to Rose or Jade

You're not entirely sure what will work the best; Aranea says it's different for everyone. So far the things on your list have worked a little bit, but you haven't had an episode like your relapse yet. Every session feels the same. You talk about things that are still bothering you, write down a new coping mechanism, and say goodbye to Aranea with a smile and a wave. Dave always asks how it went and you all sit down to dinner.

You still work at Alternia's Cove during the day, and you're actually starting to enjoy it. Feferi came back from her trip with Eridan and the two of you converse daily. You still work in the back, but now it's your choice. You don't resent baking anymore; instead you feel like it connects you to your dad, now that he's gone. Aranea says it's important to engage yourself in positive activities you used to do with your dad. You're not sure why, but you don't mind if it means it makes you happier.

A/N: The therapy stuff is from my experience with therapy and coping skills. I'll touch up on it more thoroughly in later chapters, and for anyone going through a tough time, I suggest looking up coping skills or using some of the ones I've listed in this chapter. Rae loves you all!