Chapter Twenty-One
Donkeys Need Love Too
"I married you because you were pregnant. You and I both know that. Don't act like I spent days upon days rehearsing my proposal speech and arranging a nice little dinner at the MetroCourt. I did what was right by you and our son. Yes, I was afraid you'd end up like my mother, because I was fond of you and didn't want you dead."
--
"You and I can't work. The people who shot you aren't going away. They're waiting for me to take you back. They're waiting for me to show any sort of happiness around you, Lulu. I won't do that. Don't love me. Love yourself and our son and stay away from me."
--
"I don't care how you feel about what I'm doing. If I had, I would have asked you before I made any decisions. I'm sorry that doesn't agree with you and your feelings, but that doesn't mean you get to go around throwing yourself at Dillon or Logan or any other guy here in Port Charles. Get a grip on yourself, Lulu. You need to take a good look at yourself and your life. You have a son you need to think about and I don't think he'd be appreciative of all these strange men you're bringing into his life."
--
"You act like I care what you think."
--
So he was possibly the biggest jackass to roam the Earth. Did it earn him any points that he hated it?
He couldn't blame Lulu if she didn't want to try and make their marriage work. He lied, yelled, blamed and dug himself into a hole that he couldn't manage to climb out of. He deserved every push and shove she threw at him, but that didn't mean he was giving up. There was no way in Hell he would ever give up on Lulu- ever.
That was probably why he volunteered to set up for Nate's birthday party. Decorating and organizing weren't his favorite things, but Lulu had begged him and he couldn't exactly say no to the woman whose good graces he was trying to get back under.
Johnny ripped the streamer bag open and watched it fly across the room, landing directly in front of red pumps.
"Since when did you become the decorator?" Claudia asked, kicking the roll of streamer back down the stairs.
"What are you doing here?" Johnny asked.
Claudia smiled and sauntered down the front steps and taking a seat at the bar. She wrapped her slim fingers around the back of a chair and leaned forward. Johnny could smell her expensive Italian perfume from his spot in the middle of the casino and it only served to remind him how different they were nowadays.
"It's Nathan's birthday," she replied, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder. Her red fingernails sparkled under the lights. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"You're a little early," Johnny told her dryly.
"Am I?"
Johnny looked around the empty casino. "Yeah, you are."
"Are you still mad at me?" She asked with a slight pout.
"Why would I be mad, Claudia?" He asked her as he unwounded the red streamers and artfully twirled them.
"You seem stressed and tense."
Johnny ripped off a piece of tape and placed the streamer from one side of the bar to the other, trying to hide the fact that it was a bar.
"Yeah well, I've got about twenty kids and their moms on their way over here, including mine and this place isn't ready yet."
Claudia looked around the boat they called a bar and eyed the balloons, food trays, party decorations and streamers with a look of disbelief. "It looks ready to me," she said. "And shouldn't the mom be helping?"
Johnny paused from lifting the lid of the vegetable tray and looked over his shoulder at her.
"Lulu's bringing Nate."
"No I'm not!" Lulu yelled, rushing in with an oversized box. "I brought the cake."
"Where's the kid?" Claudia shouted.
"Maxie's bringing Nate," Lulu said, making her way to Johnny. She brushed past him and Johnny couldn't ignore the tingle that shot through his veins. Was it weird to still get butterflies around his wife, around a girl that he had been in love with for more than six years? Johnny decided he didn't care. Lesley Zacchara would probably give him butterflies till the day that he died and he was absolutely content with that fact.
"Did you make him his breakfast pancakes?" Johnny asked softly, a small smile dancing on his lips.
Lulu smiled back and he could easily see the proud glint she held for their son in her eye. "Of course, the first thing he said when he woke up was, 'Where are my pancakes, mommy?' I'm telling you, if he wasn't so darn cute I'd be offended that I didn't get a kiss first."
"We did good, huh?" Johnny asked eyeing her wedding ring. "I mean, we were no where near ready to be parents and somehow we had one awesome kid."
"Well of course he's awesome, Johnny," she said, pushing back a strand. "He did come from me."
Johnny laughed. She could always make him laugh.
"And of course it had nothing to do with me, right?"
Lulu shook her head and crinkled her nose in dislike. "The bratty side comes from you."
"Oh because you're never bratty."
"Never."
"Do you want me puke now or later?" Claudia cut in.
"Who invited you again?" Lulu asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
Claudia slid out of her seat and glared at the younger blonde. "I didn't know you had to be invited to your own nephew's birthday party."
"And that would be because you don't know a whole lot."
"You know, blondie, I'm really sick of you and your damn attitude," Claudia snapped.
"Well you're just going to have to deal with her damn attitude," Johnny snapped back. Claudia had never accepted the fact that Johnny loved Lulu, that he married Lulu and that he had a child with Lulu. She was and always would be stuck on the idea that no woman on the face of the Earth was good enough for him. He had accepted that fact and so had Lulu, but Johnny was firm in the belief that Claudia should keep all of her negative thoughts to herself. "If you're going to stay, behave. Alright?"
"Behave? What am I dog?"
Lulu opened her mouth to retort a surely negative remark, but Johnny swung his arm around and clamped his hand over her mouth.
"Play nice," Johnny whispered in her ear. He felt her shiver as his breath tickled the side of her ear. "Please?" He added. Johnny practically felt her roll her eyes.
"Fine," Lulu mumbled, eyeing Claudia suspiciously.
--
Lulu couldn't believe her sister-in-law. The woman was poison. She was always in Johnny's ear highlighting all the negative things about Lulu and how he didn't need to stay with her out of obligation. You'd think with all the talk of love and devotion she spouts off about Nathan she would at least try and be civil at his birthday party. It seemed that proved to be too difficult for little old Claudia.
Lulu ignored the obvious argument taking place between her husband and his crazy sister as she picked up the 'Happy Birthday' napkins and began to place them around the tables. She quickly snagged a look at her watch and gave a sigh. Only five more minutes until Maxie and Nate got here and then Lulu would finally have someone to talk to.
It wasn't that she was avoiding Johnny, because she wasn't. Okay, maybe she was; just a little, but it was only because she didn't know how to act around him anymore. They had grown apart so much and even though he still made her heart flutter Lulu wasn't sure if she could trust him with her heart again. The last time she had, he dropped it. She was almost certain that it wasn't done healing.
"Hey," Johnny whispered from behind. Lulu almost sighed; his voice still made her weak in the knees. It was rough and gentle and created a stirring deep inside her belly. She wanted to bang her head against the wall when that damn voice that sounded so much like Maxie crept inside and hissed, "You're so in love, Lesley Lu. You really should just go with it."
Lulu turned around and looked up into those chocolate brown eyes and she could see the love and affection looking back at her. It took every ounce of her will power not to jump him right then and there. This was a kid's birthday party after all.
"Hey," Lulu whispered back over her shoulder. "Have you silenced the dog yet?"
Johnny chuckled. "She'll be nice as long as you are."
"I'm always nice," she replied, turning around to face him.
Johnny smiled and raised his hand, brushing her bangs to the side and out of her eyes. "Have you thought about us some more?"
Lulu nodded and crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to protect herself. Johnny always made her feel so vulnerable and she hated it but craved it all at the same time.
"I have."
"And . . .?" He prompted.
"I'm not quite done, Johnny," Lulu said. He wanted nothing but honesty and that was exactly what she was going to give him. Johnny nodded and she could see the light dim in his eyes. Lulu felt a wave of guilt and wash over her and she instantly regretted her words.
"Can you give me something?" Johnny asked. "Anything?"
"I know I love you," she replied. Lulu figured she might as well dive in, bring just a little bit of light back into his eyes. "I know Nate loves you. I know that you still make my heart beat a little faster when ever you're around. I know that I want to make us work, but I- I don't know how. I don't know how to make us work."
From out of the corner of her eye, she saw Claudia slink over to the bar, helping herself to a drink as she kept her eyes on Lulu. Her eyes snapped back to Johnny as she felt his rough hand glide over hers. She watched as he brought it up and kissed the inside of her wrist, before grasping onto her lithe fingers. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until her head started to hurt. Only Johnny Zacchara could make her forget how to breathe.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Nathan squealed. He tugged on Maxie's hand, pulling her down the stairs.
"Little man!" Maxie yelled. "These heels weren't made for running!" Nathan shook her off and rocketed himself towards Johnny, who caught him swiftly.
"I missed you daddy," Nathan told him.
"I missed you too."
Lulu watched as Johnny buried his face in their son's little neck and hugged him tighter. It was enough to make her cry. She jumped slightly as Maxie's hand came and brushed the tears off her face and kissed the side of her head.
"Be strong," she whispered, bumping hips with her playfully. "Because we've got a party to rock." Lulu smiled at her, but couldn't help but feel guilty for staying at Maxie's the past couple nights.
Staying with Johnny hadn't been working. His bed smelled like him, the bathroom smelled like him, Nate constantly talked about him, he was constantly there and the happy memories that lived in that house followed her. She had just needed a change of scenery. Maybe she should have left Nathan with his father, but she couldn't bare to be away from him ever since the whole Sophia fiasco.
"Aunt Claudia!" Nate yelled, finally realizing there was someone else in the room.
"Hey buddy!" She quickly came around the bar and bent down, giving him a tight hug. "Happy birthday."
"Thank you," Nate replied, grinning.
"How old are you again?"
"I'm six now, Aunt Claudia!"
Claudia smiled and Lulu couldn't find one ounce of fakeness anywhere in it. "Oh my goodness, you're so big now!"
Nate rolled his eyes. "Mommy says that everyday. I don't think I look any bigger than yesterday or the day before that or the day before that."
"Well you're a lot bigger than you were last year when you were five!" Claudia said, tickling his sides and making him giggle uncontrollably. She might not like the woman, but she was good to her son and that definitely earned her some brownie points.
"Oh look!" Maxie said, feigning excitement. "More kiddies!" Sure enough a few kids were ushered in by their parents. A few kids Lulu recognized from school and a couple she knew were from Nate's baseball team. "So tell me Lu," Maxie asked, leaning up against her side as Nate ran off to his friends. "Are we playing pin the tail on the donkey? Because if so I volunteer Johnny as the donkey."
Johnny glared at the shorter blonde.
"What?" Maxie asked, throwing her hands up. "If it walks like a donkey, talks like a donkey and smells like a donkey; it's probably a donkey." Johnny only shook his head and walked off to the crowd on newcomers.
Lulu pinched Maxie's arm. "Ow!" She shouted in shock, smacking Lulu's arm.
"Be nice," Lulu scolded.
"Donkey is nice! It's the G rated version of jackass!" Lulu shook her head and hid a small smile. She told herself that Maxie was Maxie and there was no changing her.
The shrieking of happy children split through the air and the two women grimaced. "Promise me that you and Johnny Z aren't going to be reproducing anytime soon. I can only take one child at a time."
The mere suggestion of another baby rocked Lulu to the core and she wasn't sure what she was feeling at the moment. Amusement? Annoyed? Hopeful? She and Johnny had always wanted to have just one more baby, but now? Now she wasn't so sure.
"Don't worry," Lulu told her. "We won't be having any more children any time soon."
"Good," Maxie said with an approved nod. "Because Nate's the only godchild I have time for anymore."
Lulu took up a seat near the vegetable tray and waited for Maxie to do the same until she dove into her questioning. "I thought you and Cooper were over with."
Maxie shrugged. "I guess there was more to the story then what Serena told me and what I let Cooper tell me. So I'm giving out another chance, because God knows that I'm not one to judge. Besides, I'm not getting any younger."
"Oh, Jones," Lulu sighed.
"I'm serious! Nate may have not been planned, but you have to admit he came at the perfect time. He forced you two to admit some things you didn't want to and slapped you two together. And Johnny loves you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I would kill for some hot guy to look at me the way Johnny looks at you. And if I got a nice little Nathan out of the package . . . well, that wouldn't be so bad."
Lulu's mouth dropped open. "Do you want to have a baby?" Never before had she ever heard these things fall from her best friend's mouth. She had talked about finding someone who cared about her, but never marriage or children.
"Well, not now, but before I'm 30 would be nice. I don't want to be hobbling after the kid."
"Maxie," Lulu said, laughter laced through her voice. "I don't think we hobble until our sixties."
"You know what I mean!"
Lulu nodded and propped her elbow up on the table before resting her chin on the palm of her hand. "I know, but don't rush into anything just because you want to have that fairy tale ending. Make sure Coop's the one first."
"Why wouldn't he be?" She asked, shaking her hair off her face.
"I don't know," Lulu replied, glancing over at the group of kids. She watched as Johnny sorted through the board games, unsure of which one everyone would like.
"Do you think Johnny's the one?" Maxie asked.
Lulu watched as he helped the kids set up Twister and smiled at how easy going he was with all the screaming coming from their mouths. She watched him smile and it almost took her breath away.
"Yeah," she replied, certain of her answer. "He's the one."
A/N: Okay, so I'm totally prepared for the egg throwing, but that up there that you just read 2,780 words & 8 pages had to score me some points, yes?
I've had a lot of personal problems lately which is a big reason why it took me so long to update. I was going to update last night, but halfway through I realized I had been writing a scene that should be for the next chapter. Tons and tons and tons of JoLu fluff heading your way!!
Also, if you guys haven't already, check out my new JoLu one-shot 31 Flavors. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this very, very, very late chapter and don't forget to let me know your thoughts!!