Chapter 21
"Renessme." He said as he started to stand up. His dark skin was even noticeable in the darkness surrounding us.
I inhaled a breathe. "What do you mean what am I doing here, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in "Canada"." I used the word in air quotes. He stepped closer trying to hold his arms out to me. I backed away. He let his arms drop to his sides and sighed. "Can you please just hear me out?"
I nodded. "You have about one second to tell me what you want and to get out of here, or I'll leave." He rolled his eyes and stepped closer. I repeated my first step, and leaned back.
He crossed his arms. He was shirtless, and I couldn't help but look at his muscles. He was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and his body was soaked from the rain. We were standing under a cover of trees, where only a few trickles seeped in. He took a breathe. His body clenching as he was about to speak his words. I rolled my eyes. He took another breathe and stepped closer. "I didn't want to leave you, it didn't feel right, I don't know why I wanted to leave. I just felt like I had to, that you could do better than me, that our love wasn't something that I ever imagined it to be. I'd do anything to have it back the way it was before. When we were best friends. When we were always together, when we trusted each other. When I left, my world was over. I wasn't the same. I did go to Canada. I went there to think, to be alone, to see if I could ever come back here and carry on with my life. When I got there and I looked out on the beauty, I didn't want to leave." His eyes were pleading.
He took another step closer. His hands at his sides now. "I didn't want to leave but I had to. I had to leave because I couldn't imagine seeing something that beautiful without you. And then I remembered, that the beauty reminded me of you. If you were with me, the view wouldn't be half as beautiful as you. That I truly do love you, and I'm ready for whatever you are. I came back for you. I came back because of you. You're the reason I'm living. I will always love you, care for you, and do anything for you. Never doubt that. But you have to understand that sometime's I do get confused on what I want. But in the end it will always end up being you. You're an addiction." He stepped closer, I dropped my hands to my side. "My addiction. I know I hurt you, but you have to realize that you're my deadly virus. Even if you push me away, I'm going to keep coming back. Wherever you turn I'll be there. I'll always be there. You can trust me." He took another step and cupped my face. I closed my eyes slowly, letting a delicate tear drop from my right eye land on his hand. I turned and started to walk away. He ran in front of me. "I know it will take you a lot of time to forgive me, but you have to. I can't have you not forgive me, you have to be in my life." I walked around him and saw my Dad.
"Get the hell out of here Jacob. If you meant everything you just said, you'll do what's best for her, and you, and leave." He growled. He placed his arm around my stomach and pushed me behind him. I peeked over his arm to see what Jacobs expression it was.
"That's her decision Edward. Not yours, it's not the same as it was with Bella."
"Your right. It's different. It's my daughter." he looked at me and then back at Jacob. "So like I said, if you want to do what's best for you, get out of here mutt. Your not wanted." he started to growl more and stepped towards Jacob. "Renessme, go back to the meadow!" I didn't move. Jacob looked at me with pleading eyes not to.
"Renessme, if you want me to stay just say so. Your father can't do anything about it."
"I'm not playing anymore mutt!" he picked Jacob up by his throat and thrust him backwards. Jacob landed in wolf form on a tree trunk that was already fallen. It shattered as he collapsed on it. He stood up and crept towards my father growling. I pushed Edward out of the way and tore off my left sleeve. Jacob rose his paw as if he was about to strike my father, but stopped when he saw it was me. He looked at my arm and then at me. "You did that!"
He backed away, but I continued. "You can tell me that I'm beautiful and that you care and want to protect me, but you can barely protect YOURSELF FROM ME!" he started to back away more, but I kept walking towards him. I was crying even more. "You gave me two scars Jacob.. You scared me physically, and emotionally. And I can never trust you again. I was horrified when you struck me, I figured it would stop bleeding but it didn't, if Carlisle didn't patch it up in time I could have bled to death! Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from drinking my own blood! Do you know hard it was for me to climb out of bed after 4 weeks of laying there, in the darkness doing nothing. Not eating, or moving, let alone living. I just laid there! I JUST LAID THERE BECAUSE YOU HURT ME! AND YOU CAN NEVER TAKE IT BACK!" I screamed. I backed him against a tree and touched his snout. I pulled it down so I could look directly into his eyes. "You can never be forgiven for scarring me like you have. You can only be forgiven once you've felt what I've felt. Once you've lived what I've lived." I pushed his snout away and ran back towards the house. Once I got in side I ran up to my room and just threw everything everywhere.
My make up and closet was destroyed. The bed was thrown all around and I just sat in the corner near the window. Cuddling my knees towards my chest, I tucked my head and cried. There was a soft coo coming from my window. I looked up and saw the two doves. I jumped up and shooed them away, and slammed my window shut. They could never give me good luck. They gave me back luck. I sat back down and gripped my hair. Bawling, letting the tears flood down my cheeks soaking my shirt. They kept coming. I couldn't hear anything, except for a throbbing in my ears. My throat stung from screaming and I felt dizzy. I gripped my hair tighter and crossed my legs to my chest.
I grabbed my chest, a sharp pain struck threw me as if I'd just been ripped apart. The pain grew sharper and sharper, there was a throbbing sound in my ears. My body was numb. I could hear nothing. Feel nothing. I tried to stand and collapsed, and then everything… was black.