A / N – Sorry for the delay in updates, hope this one is OK. Oh, by the way, I do not think any of this is medically possible, but it made for a god idea! Not the most amazing update to this story I am afraid, but thanks for all the reviews.

Jeff wandered into the Ambulance Station making a bee line for the Paramedic Staff room where he found Tamzin and Norman on a break. (Dixie was still in theatre, I couldn't stand pacing her small room on my own thinking about what could be happening to her, so I decided some fresh air and company is what I needed. Looking back, I should have stayed put, yet again, me and my stupid ideas back fired).

'Hey Jeff, how's Dixie?' Tamzin asked looking up from her mug of tea as she saw Jeff come in.

'She is in theatre.'

'Oh my God, what happened?' Tamzin asked, worry evident in her voice as she moved in closer to Jeff.

'They think she has internal injuries and a possible damaged appendix.' Jeff replied staring at the floor.

Tamzin didn't quite know what to do or say to Jeff at that point. She knew all about the attack in their house and that Jeff spent his days by Dixie's side. However, she knew Jeff and knew he would need one thing:

'Tea?'

'Now that sounds like a good idea, thanks Tamzin.' He replied raising a small smile before staring back at the floor.

'She will be alright Jeff; Dixie is a fighter you know.'

'I know, but I wonder just how much more of a fighter she can be you know.'

'What about the twins?' Tamzin asked tentatively as she placed a mug of tea in front of Jeff before returning to her seat opposite Norman. She knew that they were incredibly happy that they were having a family, Dixie had sent her a text telling her that they were definitely Jeff's and she couldn't have been happier to be carrying his children. Tamzin was pleased for the pair of them.

'They think they will be OK, it's all down to Dixie now.' Jeff replied trying to convince himself that everything was going to be fine and that nothing else could possibly happen to them.

'I am sure they will be fine, she will be receiving the best care up there and she will also be well cared for when she gets home.' Tamzin said patting Jeff on his arm as she added the last bit.

'Yeah, look what my brilliant and outstanding care at home did to her. It got her in this mess in the first place.' Jeff retorted before retracting his arm away.

'Jeff, you cannot think like that, you were not to know.'

But before Jeff could answer, before he fought back, the door flew open as the midwife stumbled in looking rather flustered and panicked. This is in itself was enough to get Jeff's heart racing.

'Mr Collier, Jeff, I am glad I found you.' The Midwife said as she burst into the Paramedic Staffroom. 'I had a feeling you would come down here and wait.'

'What is it? What is the matter?' Jeff asked worry and panic becoming more and more evident in his voice.

'Jeff, is there somewhere more private we can go?' The Midwife urged but this only seemed to panic Jeff even more.

'Just tell me please.' He practically begged her. (I didn't care if Tamzin or Norman knew what was going on, they would find out soon enough from the Holby ED grapevine, but she was unnerving me, something was wrong, I could sense it. Mentally I had prepared myself for the worst possible scenario, although, it was nothing compared to the decision I was going to have to make).

'Jeff, it seems that Kathleen did need her appendix taking out, which they have done, but, it appears she has sustained some damage to her womb.'

'What does that mean? Oh God, please tell me they are all three OK, please?' Jeff had to really try hard to fight back the tears that were forming in his eyes, he couldn't believe that this was happening to him.

'Jeff, there is no easy way to say this, but I need to explain something to you.'

Jeff nodded before the Midwife continued, his mouth was hanging open, shock and despair clearly written on his face.

'Jeff, we cannot keep your children inside Kathleen anymore. She will not be able to carry them full term; her womb is too badly damaged. If she does, as her womb expands, it could rupture and cause more damage to her. If we keep the twins inside, it could cost Kathleen her life, but I need you to understand that if we deliver the twins, they may not survive for long as she is only 25 weeks into her pregnancy.'

Jeff paled and had began to shake, he could feel tears rolling down his face, out of the corner of his eye he saw Tamzin, she looked just as shocked as he did at what she was hearing, her face one of sympathy. Jeff didn't say anything, he couldn't.

'Jeff, I know this is hard for you, but we need a decision from you. Do we perform a caesarean on Kathleen and save her, or do we attempt to carry on with the pregnancy?'

(What a decision to have to make, I was being asked to decide between the life of my wife and the lives of our children. I wouldn't have wished that on my worst enemy, but here I was being asked to make that call. Do I save Dixie or do I save our children? Do I want my wife or do I want my children? Whatever decision I made, it was going to have ramifications for me later on, if I chose Dixie, I would have to explain myself to her and why I chose to let our children die, but if I chose the children, could I live with myself for letting Dixie die and could I bring up our children on my own? What would you have done if you were me?)

'Jeff, I am really sorry, but I need to let the Doctor know now before it is too late.' The midwife pressed again, she could see she was asking a lot and that it was going to be a really hard call.

'Will the twins survive?' was all Jeff could muster at that point.

'It is early days, if we deliver them, they will be in intensive care, their development physically is a concern, so we don't know. Usually it is unlikely they will survive beyond a few days. I am sorry Jeff.' The midwife sounded very sympathetic, it was clearly disturbing her being the bearer or such news, but it had to be done, she knew it and so did Jeff. It didn't make it any easier having to explain this to someone who was also medically trained; she knew he would figure out the symptoms and consequences eventually.

(It was tearing me apart, but deep down I knew what I had to do, there was never going to be any doubt in my mind about that. At that time I was filled with grief, sadness, worry, practically any negative emotion any human could experience, but there was one that was rising and coming to the front, my absolute hatred for Karl. He had taken everything from me, he had succeeded. I was left wondering what the consequences of my action would mean. I would lose my children but save my wife who I may ultimately lose as a result of this).

'Please, please save my Dixie.' Jeff said as he made eye contact with the midwife, his eyes telling a story of true love and concern for his wife.

The midwife nodded, placed a comforting hand on his arm and left him to his thoughts.

Tamzin went to move forward to Jeff but, he simply got up and without a word headed to Dixie's office closing the door shut behind him sliding down it collapsing to the floor crying silent tears.

(I couldn't lose her, I really couldn't, but I had just practically condemned our children in the process. Would she ever forgive me or understand what I did? As much as it pained me, I knew I couldn't survive without her and I knew it was going to be hard explaining everything to her. I sat there and felt as though my life was over, Karl had taken everything from me, my family, my children, my wife, would I ever get it back?)