21…

Remus sat in his office going over some papers. He was reading the words, but he was far from comprehending. He'd had a few good days, but the past month and a half had been virtually the same. The drink didn't help, he felt guilty and sick, and couldn't stop replaying all the glowering looks from Sirius.

But the past week it had gotten just a little bit easier—he'd made a joke in Sirius's class and Sirius had laughed right along with everyone else. He was making slow progress, maybe that was going to be a good start to everything. Sirius would come around…and they'll all live happily ever after? Remus's internal monologue questioned mockingly. He knew it was a one-in-a-million chance, and worse than that, Remus had come to understand how badly he'd fallen for this boy. He missed all their time together, he couldn't imagine how he'd survived so many months at Hogwarts, and so many years of life, without him. He'd fallen—hard—for a bloke.

And now Remus knew that he was staying with it, there had been times previous where he'd thought that life would be easier if he found a woman who coped with his being a werewolf; there was certainly a higher chance of it compared to finding a man with that acceptance. But he loved Sirius, still loved him so much and couldn't imagine a woman and barely tolerated the idea of another man. He was taken.

The knock at the door was certainly a shock but he was ready for a distinctly happier distraction from his work. "Come in, please" Remus called.

Sirius slowly pushed the door open and shuffled in. He stood silently, with his hands in his pockets, glancing up at Remus.

Remus was shocked and didn't know what to say, well, he knew what he wanted to say but wasn't sure what Sirius wanted from him. He didn't want to assume anything. Although, he reasoned, he was the one who really should start with apologising.

"Sirius…I'm so sorr—just please believe me that I really regret how I handled everything I just—"

"I know." Sirius mumbled and gave a small smile.

Remus felt the relief pour over him, he couldn't help but grin—the kind of grin that Sirius always gave him when he was feeling reckless and free. "Really? You…just thank you, Sirius."

Sirius grinned in response to the sheer happiness on his professor's face. "I forgive you too, in case you were curious."

Remus gave a self-deprecating laugh and shook his head, "I assumed that since you were willing to speak with me but shouldn't have assumed. Sorry, and thank you."

Sirius gave a nervous gesture with his hands. "No, I didn't mean to imply you have to ask for it or something, like some kind of reward system…I just wanted you to know."

They shared an awkward grin and laugh that felt better than anything the past month and a half had yielded.

"I'm sorry too. And I don't say things like that a lot so, you know, er enjoy it." Sirius mumbled scuffing the floor with his shoe absently.

"Sorry for what then?" Remus didn't think Sirius had a whole lot to apologise for—he'd kept his mouth quiet during this whole situation.

"For not talking to you, for taking it so personally. I know you were trying to help, I know that now—just feel like you could have consulted me."

"Would you have talked about it with me?"

"Er, no. Probably not, it's just really not something I like doing a whole lot of thinking about. I live at boarding school, it isn't an issue. And now I live with the Potters, so summer isn't a problem either."

There was a silence between them, as Remus nodded that for Sirius and his chosen method of coping, the problem was indeed no longer. "Where exactly does that leave us then, Sirius?"

"Oh, er…I was sort of wondering if we would…pick things back up? I mean, you probably don't want to but the problem is that I've missed you a lot and I really was enjoying this and I was, I mean I think I was falling—I was falling in. Oh fuck it all, I love you." Sirius let all his thoughts out in one breath, looking anywhere but at Remus as he still felt consumed by nerves.

Remus felt his throat constrict. He stepped round the desk and reached his hand up to lift Sirius's chin. "Hey, you know what?" He felt his hand warm where it was touching Sirius' blushing skin. "Sirius. I'm…I'm right there with you. Yeah, madly and helpless in love with you."

And Remus had never enjoyed a kiss more. It was an absolutely brilliant combination of hesitant and comfortingly familiar with a perfect knowledge of more kisses just like that for a long time to come.

When they broke apart, Remus was surprised to see that Sirius' eyes had developed that moistened look to them. Sirius bit his lip in what conveyed worry but looked exceedingly hot then spoke. "Are you…are you sure? Are we just, just going to go back how it was? Before…other things happened?"

"No." Remus shook his head, but refused to let go of Sirius' waist when the student tried to pull away. "No, Sirius, this isn't going to be like before. We'll be better. Loads better, alright? I really need this to work, I want this more than so much else. I want this to work so much I feel like I might explode."

Sirius grinned instantly, but with a touch of a sentimental blush. "I missed your romantic girly side." And Sirius leaned in to kiss him again, using his own hands on the professor's shoulder blades to draw him in.

"This does mean changes to your current approach…mmm…of coping with your past abus—Sirius!" Remus gasped as Sirius did something particularly brilliant with his teeth against Remus' neck. "You have to talk to me, yeah? And…and I'll—oh God—I'll tell you things."

"Now that's got my interest peaked." Sirius pulled back slightly, panting a little as his eyes glazed over what Remus was sure would be lasting marks on his neck. "What are you going to tell me?"

"Whatever you want. Honesty, openness, officially our new motto."

Sirius grabbed his professor's shoulders and shoved him none too gently against the wall, lifting Remus' arms so they stretched towards the ceiling. Sirius trailed his hands upwards until his fingers were inseparably linked to his lover's, used to pin him against the wall. Well, that, and their hard groins pressed impossibly close. Sirius leaned into Remus' ear to whisper hoarsely.

"I want to know about your past."

Remus gasped. "Of course…"

"You sexual escapades."

"Sirius…"

"Why you want to bottom, what your secret little kinks are…"

"Ah!" A thrust of the student's hips caused another gasp.

"All about your painful experiences as a werewolf…"

"That does nothing for the libido here, Sirius!"

"…so that I'll talk about my personal shit."

"Ah, that can be arranged."

"And I want to kiss you. At least once a day, every day."

"Well, that's going to be doable, I think…"

"A real, proper kiss."

"Are you going to continue to make demands or are we going to get on to the making up part?"

And Sirius shut up, surging forward for another kiss that stole Remus' breath. After a good few moments in that particular kiss, Sirius brought their locked hands down and between their bodies. He broke the kiss and Remus noticed he looked exceedingly nervous.

"Can we…do you think we…I mean, we are—"

"We are going to fuck." Remus gave a wicked grin as he repeated Sirius's comment from months ago. He grabbed the younger man's hand and pulled him quickly through the rooms until there was nothing but the two of them and the bed.

Both professor and student kneeled on the bed, tracing their hands over the other one's clothing. Sirius was the first to start undoing buttons, but Remus wasn't far behind.

"I missed you being naked." Sirius said conversationally as he gripped Remus's hip with one hand and let the other one trail across the exposed chest.

Remus's chest shook as he laughed. "I was hoping there was more to it than that, Sirius."

Sirius moved his head down to lick and bite gently at his professor's nipple. "Well, there were some other aspects of interest, but I felt that your body was most relevant now."

"Excellent analysis, Mr. Black."

Remus grabbed for Sirius's hair and leaned up to kiss him. He let his hands gently hold Sirius's face still as he brought everything he had into the kiss. He sucked heavily on Sirius's tongue and brought them both back to the lying position, with Sirius on top. Sirius moaned and gyrated against him.

Remus reached blindly onto the table next to the bed, fumbling for his wand. When he had it firmly in his grasp, he pulled back from the kiss and raised an eyebrow and waited.

Sirius, still panting, raised an eyebrow in return. "Do you really think I give a fuck about logistics and turn-taking? Really?"

"Just giving you options…" Remus grinned nonetheless. Sirius and his cursing in the heat of passion was really quite sexy for Remus.

"No, you're giving me hints. If you want to get on your hands and knees and let some schoolboy fuck you, you could've just asked." Sirius grabbed the wand and pulled off, giving Remus the opportunity to turn over onto his stomach.

But Remus sat up and gently threw Sirius onto his back on the bed. When the younger man's grasp on the wand weakened with the fall, Remus snatched the wand and straddled his student. "How does this work for you, schoolboy?"

Sirius grinned back and let his hand trail up Remus's scarred thigh to his groin, giving a quick squeeze to the leaking cock. Remus groaned. "I think its fair play, isn't it? You ride my arse in class, I think I'll like the change—you know, you riding something else entirely."

Quickly applying the tip of the wand to his own arse, Remus shivered when he felt the cold liquid. He tossed the wand aside and jumped slightly when he felt a finger at his entrance.

"Can I…?" Sirius was adorably hesitant. Remus nodded and smiled, he was nervous but wanted this so much. He wanted to move to this new place with Sirius. He wanted to feel Sirius, wanted Sirius deep.

Sirius moved his finger in slowly, and then back out. Slowly he continued with a second one. The position was awkward with Remus kneeling over Sirius's lap as the student sat with one hand balancing him on the bed and the other reached around and behind and in his professor.

He seemed amazed at the reaction he was getting from Remus, especially once he started adding a second and third finger. Pushing in as far as he could, knowing it was hitting Remus perfectly every few strikes.

"If we don't do this soon…Sirius, I'm going to…" Remus almost shook with the need, his hands braced on both sides of Sirius's head. He was slowly, subconsciously, pushing his erection against Sirius's own—anything to bring friction and released. He'd forgotten how good this felt.

Sirius removed his fingers quickly and took a nervous breath as he moved his hands to grip Remus's waist. "What, what do you want me to do?" He honestly had no idea, but so clearly wanted to know. Wanted to learn everything Remus could show him about sex.

Remus knelt up again and braced himself as he sank back down on Sirius. Yes, it hurt a little. Yes, he'd obviously give the lectures over the next few days standing with limited pacing. But yes, it was amazing and hot and hard and Remus was forgetting how to breathe. He felt lightheaded and slid down quickly so that he could lie himself down on top of Sirius. All his skin sliding along Sirius's felt too tight and so sensitive and just wonderful.

There was silence as the two men just stared. Remus felt there was something so completely brilliant about just lying there with a hard, throbbing heat but silently saying and feeling everything through the eyes. Sirius had beautiful eyes, perfectly deep and wonderful and…almost completely dilated. Remus grinned.

Bracing himself, Remus shifted up on his knees to start a steady pace. Sirius gasped and appeared to be trying to speak. Remus silenced with a kiss, but the kiss brought Sirius fully in him at which point he hit Remus's prostate. Squeezing through the rush of blinding pleasure, Remus felt more than he heard Sirius crying out his name and the subsequent warming of the inside of his ass.

Sirius's breathing slowed and Remus grinned down at the blushing student. He was impossibly hard and certainly wasn't getting anywhere by staying in the current position. He pulled off of Sirius with a groan and lightly steps off the bed in search of his wand.

"Remus…oh, fuck. I'm really sorry—just sorry, I-I didn't mean to, you know…it was, so much. Fuck, that was…amazing, too amazing—I'm so sorry. I swear, I tried not to…you know…"

"Come?" Remus asks conversationally as he gets back on the bed and rolls Sirius's onto his front. He patronizingly patted his student's arse. "You'll make it up to me." Remus heard Sirius give a rather happy groan.

He maneuvered Sirius's knees until they were pulled up under his chest. He quickly prepared Sirius, because yes—he was in a bit of a rush, and thrust in. And holy hell, he'd forgotten how wonderful Sirius felt like this.

Remus finished rather soon after, and while Sirius attempted to go again it didn't happen. Probably just as well, because they were both exhausted and Remus was actually looking forward to the pillow talk—particularly on the subject of the coming weeks and months.

A/N: Hope this makes everyone happy. Because it has sex in it, happy sex specifically. Review because I'm double the cripple right now (dislocated both kneecaps), my friend isn't responding to my emails, and I have a paper due Tuesday in a class that I hate where I disagree with the professor on everything. Please make me happy, love you all for reading this far!!