Home and Hearts Aflame

by Kadi
Rated: T

Disclaimer: I do love this sandbox, but sadly it is not mine.

Chapter 21

Provenza woke up near dawn. It was just as well. By that time Patrice had arrived. She was, unfortunately, not able to get a flight in to Redmond and only managed to fly as far north as Redding, California. She had driven the rest of the way. They'd had time to bring her up to speed on all of the happenings and assure her that he was fine, just sleeping off the sedation.

He woke up with a groan and a hell of a headache. He felt like he had been on a three day bender, the likes of which he hadn't experienced since turning thirty and getting much too old and mature for those sorts of things. Or maybe it was forty. Who the hell could remember at his age. The point was, his head hurt like hell and he was pissed about it.

He had two immediate questions. "Where the hell am I? What the hell happened?"

While Patrice was just happy that he was awake, Andy was left to fill in all of the blanks. Provenza stopped him at the point where he mentioned being found in the stable of his Captain's family's rural, Oregon ranch.

"You're telling me that I'm in Podunk, Oregon?" Provenza waved his hand at his partner, outrage written across his face, as if the echo of his ever rising voice off the walls of his hospital room was not proof enough that he was upset.

Andy shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "Well, yeah. That's where we found you. So, after that—"

Provenza cut him off again. "And you just let them keep me here?"

Patrice reached over and gathered one of his hands in both of hers. "Now Louie," she said calmly, "you weren't conscious."

"So?" He waved his other hand and then pointed a finger at his partner. "Care flight. Air ambulance. Greyhound bus. Ever heard of those?" His eyes narrowed. He scowled at the other man. "You call yourself my partner. Of all the times that I have bailed you out of trouble, been there for you, covered for you, and you let me stay in some piddly little country hospital in the middle of nowhere, are you trying to kill me?"

Sharon would have knocked when she arrived, but she didn't think that she would be heard. She was on her way back from seeing Emily, and thought to check on the Lieutenant before returning to the ICU. She moved into the room, mouth twitching toward a smile and eyes wide. She stepped up alongside Andy and Julio and clasped her hands in front of her. "When you said that I would hear him, I genuinely believed that you were joking."

"Nope." Andy slanted a look down at her. "I meant it." He arched a brow at her. "Warms the heart, doesn't it?"

Julio nudged Flynn with his elbow. "Notice how he doesn't make her call him Lieutenant."

Sharon pressed her lips tightly together, but her shoulders shook with barely suppressed laughter. She leaned forward and cast a look at him from over the rims of her glasses. When the Detective just shrugged at her, but looked unapologetic, Sharon rolled her eyes. "I suppose then that I can assume that he is going to be just fine?"

"Fine!" Provenza turned his outraged gaze on her. "Who here is fine?" He pointed at his Captain. "You did this," he decided. "You lured me up here to country bumpkin hell. You're trying to get rid of me!"

"Yep." Andy drawled. "He's fine. He's his usual, grumpy self. Frankly, I feel relieved knowing that the many very strong sedatives he was pumped full of had no lasting effects on his personality or senility."

"Hm." Sharon cleared her throat. Her head tilted. She blinked several times. Her lips were pressed tightly together but this time she couldn't hold back the peals of laughter that trembled through her. She turned and pressed her face into Andy's shoulder. "Oh god."

"What happened? Is she okay?" Rusty had come looking for Sharon when she hadn't joined him at the elevator after leaving Emily's room. He frowned. "Wait, is she laughing?" He was worried that she was crying. When she had to wrap her arm around Andy's and lean into him, Rusty's eyes widened. "Oh my god. You broke her!"

"What the hell happened to you?" Provenza scowled at the boy. The last time he had seen Rusty he was perfectly okay. Now he was injured, pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes. "How the hell long was I out?"

Rusty blinked at him. Then he looked down and remembered that with the sling and the bandage on his neck he probably looked pretty bad. "Oh, that." He shrugged. His arm was hurting again. He thought maybe it had been long enough that he could take the painkillers they had given him in the ER. He would ask Sharon before he did it, he thought. "Flynn shot me."

"What?" Provenza's eyes went wide.

Andy sighed as he looked heavenward. "For the rest of my life, that is the only part that anyone is ever going to remember."

Provenza ran a hand over his face. "Eeh gods! What the hell kind of trouble did you people get into while I was out?"

Patrice leaned over and gave his hand a gentle pat. "Louie, they've had a difficult couple of days," she said quietly. There was sympathy in her gaze when she looked at the Captain. When she looked at Provenza again, there was sadness in her eyes too. "A lot of things happened after you were found."

They all sobered at that, including Sharon who straightened. She looked at the Lieutenant with genuine relief that he was back among them. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling better," she told him. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get back upstairs." Her gaze drifted to Patrice. "If you need anything," she reminded her, "please let me know."

"Don't worry about me," Patrice said. "I can find my way around. You'll let me know when he wakes up?" She asked; there was compassion in her gaze as she mentioned Ricky, who remained unconscious.

"I will," Sharon's face softened and the worry returned.

As Sharon left the room Andy backed away from the bed. "I'm going with her. You behave," he told his partner. "The nurses here are big, hairy, and they like me." He smirked. "I'll order you a sponge bath."

"What you can order me," Provenza snarked at him, "is a damned explanation! Flynn!" His eyes narrowed as his partner left the room. "Flynn!" He huffed. "Damned lovesick fool."

Patrice tutted quietly at him. "No," she said. "He needs to go with her. She needs looking after." The boy, Rusty, stayed in the room. She smiled gently as he walked over and took a seat on the other side of the bed. "You'll get your explanation," She said, "but it's a long story, and you need to stay quiet for it."

Provenza sank down in the bed. His face settled into something that might have been considered a pout. "Fine," he grumbled. "Just as long as someone tells me what is going on around here."

Julio moved to the foot of the bed. He exchanged a look with Rusty, and then between the two of them, they picked up the story from the point where the Lieutenant had been found. What Rusty couldn't fill in, because he had been unconscious and held by Jenks, Julio managed to explain. The rest of it, from the rescue to arriving at the hospital was told by Rusty.

"We're just waiting for Ricky to wake up now," Rusty concluded. "The doctors say that there's every reason to believe he will be okay. He will be in ICU until that happens, at least."

"They don't really have an FID up here," Julio said. "We're waiting for the State Police to clear Flynn on the shooting. That shouldn't be a problem, it was a clean shot. The County had authorized him to help in the investigation and search. The locals are processing all of the evidence from the crime scene at the O'Dwyer ranch and at the farmhouse that Jenks was staying in. They're going to copy us on everything so that we can close the Stroh murder investigation."

"They found an old truck," Rusty said, "at the farmhouse. It was in the barn. It's one of those older ones, with the cover thing on the back."

"Camper." Julio said. "It looks like that's what he used to transport the Captain's daughter across country, and how he got you out of California. We also think he might have moved Stroh's body in it. Tao is jumping up and down to come up here, but Taylor can't spare anymore of us. He's already got half the division up here with this thing."

Patrice asked the obvious question, because she knew that neither of the other two men would. "Rusty, how is your mother holding up? She looks exhausted."

His eyes moved around the room. He looked at the other two men and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This was not something that they did. They just didn't talk about Sharon or her feelings, or how she was handling things. Okay, sometimes he did that with Lieutenant Provenza, but that was usually just between them, and it wasn't always comfortable either. Rusty rubbed the hand of his uninjured arm against the leg of his jeans. "I'm not really sure." He shrugged. "I know she's tired, and she's worried about Ricky. She's worried about all of us, but I just don't know." He looked helplessly from Julio to Provenza. "It's never been like this before. Most of the time Sharon is pretty strong, at least on the outside. I gave her all kinds of crap when I first moved in with her, and she took it. I mean, I was really horrible sometimes, and she just took it. Then there were the letters from Wade Weller, and Phillip Stroh… I mean, she just handled all of it. I could tell that she was tired, sometimes, or worried, but it's never been like this. I feel like she wants us to think that she's okay, but she's really not."

"Of course she's not okay." Provenza sighed. He ran a hand over his face again and shifted in the bed. "In less than a week she's had all three of her kids kidnapped, stabbed, shot, or all three."

"I'm just…" Rusty sighed. "I'm just afraid that she's going to hit a wall, you know? And then she's going to crash really hard."

"You might be right, Rusty." Provenza shook his head. "I don't know that there's anything we can do to stop that." He paused for a moment and looked at the others. "Doesn't mean we aren't going to try. Dammit," he grumbled. "Okay, this is what you do. You let Flynn worry about the Captain, Julio will keep an eye on Rusty, and your job," he told Rusty, "is to talk to your sister. She's been through something, god knows, but for just a little while, get her to lean on the boyfriend… or god help us, her father."

Julio's brows rose. He had no problem with any of that. "What are you going to do, sir?"

"I'm going to get someone to find me some pants," Provenza complained, "so that I can get the hell out of this place!"

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Andy stood behind Sharon while they waited for the elevator to arrive. His hands rested against her shoulders; they gently kneaded muscles that were tight with tension and fatigue. He drew her back against his chest. When she sighed and leaned into him, his lips brushed the back of her head. "Better?"

"Hm." She hummed quietly. "If you keep that up, I'm going to fall asleep right here." She tipped her head back against his shoulder and to the side, so that her forehead was resting against the curve of his jaw. Her body ached with exhaustion, but she couldn't yet think of stopping. Sharon let her eyes close for the first time since the horror had begun in the stable and let herself melt against the solid warmth behind her. It wasn't over yet, not for her, and it wouldn't be until she could take all three of her children home, but here there was comfort.

"That might not be a bad idea." Andy slid his hands down her arms, and then wrapped her in a loose embrace. "You're running on fumes, Sharon. You aren't going to do anyone any good if you collapse. Ricky is doing okay. It's probably going to be a little while yet before he wakes up. The world isn't going to stop if you take a nap."

"It might." She shrugged away from him and tried to take a step forward. When he wouldn't let go of her, she sighed. Her voice dipped, becoming low and clipped. "Andy. I don't need to be handled."

"No," he agreed. He gathered her back against him and turned his face into her hair. His lips moved against her ear when he spoke. "You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and the kids. You just don't have to. Not alone, anyway. It's not just this week, sweetheart. It's been a hell of a few months, and the last few days have been the worst of it, no doubt about that. I get it. The guilt and the anger; they're both normal. You're worried as hell, and no one expects otherwise. The thing is, Sharon, even you can only take so much. We got through the letters. We took care of that situation, and we saved Rusty. You saved him. Phillip Stroh escaped from custody and you did what you had to do to keep Rusty safe. No one saw this coming. No one expected it. Even when you figured out that it was Rusty, again, at the center of some psychopath's agenda, no one could anticipate what would happen. You've got three kids and all of them were touched by this hell... but you could've locked them all in a room and they still would've been touched by it. The physical hurts will heal. The rest is going to take a little while, but that was going to be true all along. The thing is you won't be able to help them when it actually counts if you don't help yourself first."

He was right. Intellectually, Sharon knew that he was correct in everything that he said. Perhaps it was her own stubbornness, but she remained rigid in his embrace. Her eyes closed. "I'm fine," she stated, trying to sound clipped and emotionless, but failing. She heard the waver in her own voice.

"Yeah, you're batting a thousand alright." A hand splayed across her stomach, while the other rested at her hip. He nosed her hair aside and pressed his lips against her neck. "Slow down champ or you're gonna strikeout."

It had the desired effect. Sharon snorted at the goofy sports reference. A small smile tugged at her lips. She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist. She tipped her head back to look up at him. "I am tired," she admitted. "It hurts," she said softly, "more than I want to think about. When I go there I won't be able to stop, and I can't do that now. I just…" She trailed off as her eyes closed. She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "I need Rusty to be okay, and I need Emily dancing. I need Ricky to wake up, and I need to be able to close my eyes and not see him lying there." When her eyes opened again they were bright and moist. "I can't sleep," she whispered. "Not yet."

He pushed his hands into the thick curtain of her hair. His thumbs stroked her cheeks, and then down along the curve of her jaw. Andy sighed quietly. He didn't like it. She was drawn and pale, and holding on just a little too tight. If she kept going the way that she was, he worried that she wouldn't bend… she would break. "You can't keep going indefinitely," he pointed out. "You know that."

"I do." She wrapped one of her hands around his wrist. Sharon turned her face into his hand and let her lips brush his palm. "Just until he's awake," she promised, "then you can take me home." At this point the ranch was serving as home for both of them, and that was another situation that could not continue indefinitely. Sharon didn't want to think about that either. It was going to be a while before Ricky or Emily would be up to traveling, and she couldn't fathom the thought of leaving either of them to return to Los Angeles. Then there was her team. She would have to send them home too, sooner rather than later. Sharon pushed those thoughts aside and resolved to worry about them another time.

He lowered his head. He kissed the tip of her nose, and then pressed a kiss to her lips. "If that's the best I can get," he rumbled quietly, "I guess I'm going to have to accept it." The elevator had arrived and the door had opened while they spoke. The car was gone now, so Andy reached out and hit the button again. He wrapped an arm around her, however, and continued to hold her while they waited. "You know I love you, right?"

"I know." She smiled tiredly up at him. "It's appreciated, that you want to take care of me. I don't mean to sound like it's not, and it does help, more than you know. There is just a certain way that I have to do this, and it may not be the best way, but it's all I've got." She laid her head against his shoulder with a sigh. "But if you don't mind, I might just lean right here for a little while."

"You go right ahead." He settled his hand against her lower back. "I can take it." This time when the elevator doors opened he maneuvered her inside the car, but kept his arm wrapped around her. When her head found his shoulder again, he reached up with his other hand and combed his fingers through her hair. It wasn't the sleep that she needed, but he could offer quiet comfort if nothing else.

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The room was dark. That wasn't the first thing that he was aware of. His first moment of wakeful awareness was the pain. Every time he inhaled it was like fire, throbbing through his middle, threatening to steal the very breath that he was trying to draw in. It was the most intense pain that he had ever felt. His hands curled inward, and his fingers tangled in the bedding beneath him. He groaned, and the sound was stilted in his dry throat. His legs shuffled on the bed. He wanted to draw them forward, to bring them close and curl inward, as though that would help the pain. His body felt heavy, however, and weak. He could barely move at all. Instead he drew a breath through his nose and clenched his teeth tightly together.

"Fuck me."

"Richard!" While the language astonished her, Sharon was already moving from her chair. She had been sitting there, dozing despite her attempts at the contrary. His groan had jolted her awake. She moved to the edge of his bed and sat carefully beside him. She laid a hand against his forehead and swept his hair back. "Ricky." She wrapped her other hand around his forearm and drew it against her chest. "Careful. You'll pull your stitches." There were no words for her joy, or the relief, at having him awake again. His eyes were wild, though, and he was still trying to move. "Rusty, step out and tell the nurses that he's awake."

"Sure." He was stiff as he unfolded from his chair. Rusty had been asleep until their voices had woken him. He was trading off with Jack or Andy, whoever needed into the room at the moment. Presently, Jack was with Emily and Andy had gone to sit with Provenza while Patrice got some sleep. Rusty stepped through the sliding ICU door and looked around the U-shaped ward. When he caught the nurse's attention at the center station, he hooked his thumb toward the room behind him. "Um, my brother is awake, and I don't think he's doing great."

The nurse picked up a tablet and rounded the desk. She strode quickly toward the room while calling up the patient's chart. She moved to the other side of his bed and let her eyes sweep over the monitors surrounding the bed. "Mr. Raydor, good morning. I understand you're not feeling well."

"He's in some pain," Sharon answered. "He woke up just a moment ago, and he's struggling against it."

"I see that." She made notes of his vitals in his chart. "Okay, let's take a look at the wound site. The doctor ordered morphine. We'll get that onboard in a minute." She leaned over the side of the bed and pushed down the sheet that was covering him, only far enough that she could lift the edge of his hospital gown. "The incision looks good. Okay," she replaced his gown and the blankets. "I'm going to get the morphine and we'll see what we can do about that pain." She spoke to Ricky, but looked at Sharon. He didn't seem to be registering much, at least not yet. It wasn't unexpected.

"Shh." Sharon crooned softly. She moved her hand through his hair and continued to stroke his arm, attempting to distract him. "Ricky, it's okay."

"Okay my ass," he muttered. "Shit, that hurts." He screwed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate on breathing.

Rusty hovered near the foot of the bed, trying to stay out of the way, but wanting to be nearby too. "You were worried about Flynn's mouth," he muttered.

"Hm." Sharon hummed. "I don't like it from any of you. I think we can… ignore it for the moment. I'll give him pass." She looked over her glasses at Rusty. "Don't get any ideas."

The nurse returned in short order. She injected the morphine directly into his IV. "That should start working in a few minutes. Let me know if his pain continues."

"Thank you." Sharon hardly glanced at her as she left again. While she stroked Ricky's arm, and waited for him to calm as the medication took effect, she glanced over at her youngest child again. "Rusty, call Jack and let him know that Ricky is awake."

"Dad's still here?" Ricky still had his eyes closed. He was taking thin, shallow breaths. "What happened?"

"How much do you remember?" Sharon combed his hair back from his brow again.

Ricky thought back. It was hard to focus beyond the burning in his middle. The morphine was kicking in. It was fast stuff; that much was a blessing. He could feel it in the way his head started to feel both light and heavy at the same time. "The stable. I was with Rusty. There was a guy, and then… he stabbed me, I think, and the rest is kind of foggy." Ricky's eyes opened wide. He started to sit up but dropped back with a low groan. "Shit. Goddammit."

"Richard!" His mother stared at him. She would be willing to allow only so much. She placed a hand against his chest to keep him on the bed. "Relax. Don't try to move. You've had surgery. You'll rip your stitches."

"Yeah, gathered that." Ricky drew a breath and let it out slowly. His gaze swept the room and landed on Rusty. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Rusty still had his phone in his hand. He'd opted for texting Jack. "I mean, for the most part. Except for where our mom's boyfriend shot me."

"That's…" Ricky stopped. "Wait. What?" He scowled. "Explain that?"

"Oh my god!" Sharon shot a glare at her youngest. "Would you stop telling people that! He didn't shoot you, Rusty. The bullet barely grazed your arm. You're fine." She rolled her eyes at him and looked down at Ricky again. "The man in the stable, his name was Henry Jenks. He injured you and he took Rusty. Andy and the authorities here were able to find them. During the confrontation, Mr. Jenks attempted to use Rusty as a hostage. Your brother was wounded when Andy shot the man."

"Oh." Ricky closed his eyes again. "Is that all?" He sighed. "I thought maybe the boyfriend got tired of his mouth and decided to do something about it."

"Hey." Rusty scowled at him. "That's not funny."

"Yeah, it is a bit," Ricky decided. He shifted on the bed, trying to get more comfortable, and winced. "But that's it," he asked, and cracked an eye open to glance at his mother. "They got the guy? It's over?"

"It's over," she said softly. "There are some formal details that need to be worked out with the investigation, but yes, darling, it's over." The backs of her fingers stroked his cheek. "I have been so worried about you," she whispered. "I'm so glad that you're okay."

"The word okay might be subjective," Ricky grunted. "Give me a few more minutes and we'll revisit that." He forced his eyes open and looked at her. Behind her smile he could see the worry. She looked tired. "I'm fine, mom. It just hurts like hell. How bad is it?"

"Truth or current situation?" Sharon's smile faltered, it became tremulous at best. "You scared me," she said. "We almost lost you."

"Oh god, don't cry." He could take anything but that. Ricky would rather go back to the sharp burning pain than watch her cry. "Please mom, don't cry. I'm okay. Really. I promise."

She shook her head and looked away from him. She blinked furiously to stem the flow. "I know," she told him. "I'm just very tired. It's okay, honey." She rubbed his arm again.

Ricky cast a helpless look beyond her. When his brother only shrugged, he sighed. "You're still doing the crying thing." He groaned as he tugged her down beside him. "You're such a girl sometimes, mom."

"Yes." She settled in beside him with a sniffle. "I'm your mother; it's a very important requirement for the job." Sharon was careful of him, and of the wires and tubes that were connecting him to the machines around the bed. She curled her arms around one of his and sighed. "We did almost lose you," she said. "You were in very critical condition for a while. It's only been in the last few hours that they've upgraded you to stable. The doctors were able to repair the damage done by the knife, but they had to take your spleen. I'm sure that they will explain what all of that means. I'm just happy that you're going to be okay."

"So am I." Ricky closed his eyes again. "I'm really happy about that. Tickled even. It's music to my ears. Who needs a spleen anyway? It was obviously in the way. Hurts like a bitch, though." He glanced down at his mother, but he was grinning. "Last one, I promise."

"It had better be," she drawled. "You may be in the hospital, Richard William Raydor, but I will still wash your mouth out with soap."

"Yes ma'am." Ricky laid his head back. He looked at his brother again. "You really okay?"

Rusty shrugged. "Yeah. It could have been worse. On a scale of here to dead, I'll take it." He looked around as the glass, sliding door opened and Jack slipped into the room. "I'll head down and fill the others in. Sharon, my phone is almost dead, but I'll be with Flynn or Julio." She was still having issues letting him out of her sight. For now, he figured they could just handle it. It would get better, he knew. Sharon wasn't overly clingy. It was just her way of coping.

"Thank you, honey." She smiled at him. "I'll come find you in a little bit."

He paused at the door. Rusty looked back and watched as Jack moved around to the opposite side of the bed. He felt a little awkward at watching that greeting. While Jack didn't cry as Sharon had, he did grip Ricky's shoulder and seemed just as emotional. Rusty pulled the door closed behind him. He let out a breath that he hadn't realized that he was holding as he walked away from the room.

He felt a little light headed as he left the ICU. Rusty made it only as far as the small waiting room outside the ward. He sat there and lowered his head into his hands. He took several deep breaths and tried to control the flood of emotions that was sweeping through him. Maybe, he thought, Sharon and Jack weren't the only ones that were emotional.

Rusty exhaled quietly and finally straightened. Maybe, now, they could all get back to the business of getting on with their lives. He had to think that it could only get better now. What he really wanted was to get home and try to forget all of it. Although at the moment, he would just be grateful for a hot shower and a warm bed. Rusty rolled his head on his shoulders as he stood up. He'd known that families could be screwed up; his biological one was proof enough of that. He just never knew that they could be as frightening as they were wonderful.

This family thing was kind of hard, he thought. It was a lot harder than he ever anticipated it would be. Oddly enough, as scary as it was, he didn't feel like he had to run. Instead, he went to do as he'd told Sharon, and update the others. Then, he thought he might use the time they had while the parental units were distracted and see about springing Emily from her room for a little while. It was early, but he thought the cafeteria should already be open. They would grab some food and some coffee, he decided, and then see what they could do about ganging up on their mother until she agreed to go home and rest.

Rusty grinned as he stepped into the elevator. He had a better idea. They'd get the grandmother to do it. He'd already figured out that no one said no to her, and that included Sharon. He was really beginning to understand this extended family dynamic, and it wasn't all that bad at all.

-TBC-