Lydia's POV
As I sat in front of my mirror on the floor of my bedroom in mine and Carmen's house, I came to the realization that there was no concealer created that could possibly cover the horrible dark circles under my eyes.
I'd lost just a bit of sleep and perhaps a few ounces of sanity over the past couple of weeks. So much shit was happening. Along with being noticed on the streets nearly every time we walked out the door together, Carmen and I were attempting to completely process the fact that we had a whole other family out there who we didn't know at all.
If I didn't have her, Dan, and Phil I'm fairly sure I would have been placed in some sort of mental facility during all of that madness.
In the reflection of the mirror I could see Dan sitting on my bed and he was watching me with his head tilted like he was confused or something. I turned my head to look at him and laughed. "I'm trying to make my face look alive and happy and shit," I told him.
We were getting ready to go to a party that Chris was having at his flat that night. Up until a couple of hours before we had no intentions of going just because so much was going on but then the guys suggested we go just to let loose and have a little fun. I honestly would have been more content lounging around on the couch in my pajamas and watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians on Netflix. (Don't you judge me)
He slid off of the bed and onto the floor and crawled over to where I was sitting. After placing a kiss on the side of my head he sat down beside me and picked up one of my make up brushes. "You look beautiful all the time," he informed me, rubbing the bristles against my nose. "I'm just worried about you. I know you're going through a lot right now."
I think I melted into the carpet right there. He was so damn sweet. Everyday that I had with him since we fixed everything I found myself wondering how the hell I got so lucky.
"I would lie and say I'm okay but you know better," I told him as I reached up and ran my fingers through the front of his hair. "But you make everything feel better just by being here with me all the time. I don't know what I would do without you."
He gave me one of his cute crooked grins before leaning in and giving me a kiss. "Well if you need to talk about what's happening, or vent, or whatever, you know you can," he said while brushing my hair back.
"I know," I nodded, smiling at him. "But right now I'd rather go to this party and get white girl wasted before coming home and having drunk, sloppy sex with you. Then I'd like to sleep in tomorrow and wake up and eat food that's really bad for me. That's my current therapy plan," I laughed.
"That sounds like a very good one," he laughed. "I think I can make all of that happen." He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine before standing up from the floor and checking his appearance in the mirror. It was actually hilarious because he basically had to squat to be able to see himself properly. "Does my hair look sexy pushed back?"
"Your hair looks sexy pushed back," I replied, looking up at him and laughing. "Have I told you today that I'm pretty much sickeningly in love with you?"
It was true. I'd gone from being a person who was clueless as to what a fucking real emotion was to realizing that I was so in love with him it was almost gross. My life was quite interesting to say the least.
He looked down at me while he was sorting his hair out. Damn, that smile. "No, but I'm pretty much sickeningly in love with you too," he replied, squatting further down. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and hugged me tightly. "We're never going to get ready to go," he laughed. Which was pretty accurate considering we'd both been trying to get dressed for the better part of an hour, but couldn't stop with all of the cute, cuddly shit that would usually make me want to gag.
"I know," I laughed. "I still haven't even figured out what to wear." I sighed as I leaned my head back against his chest. I couldn't ever remember feeling as happy as I did when I was in his arms. "Okay, I better get up. Phil and Carmen are gonna be ready and waiting on us forever if I don't," I told him as I reluctantly pulled away from him to stand up. My hair and make up were finished. I just needed to change out of his t-shirt and into normal clothes.
While I was looking through my wardrobe, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Dan and I said at the same time and I looked over to see Phil peeking his head in.
"I was just seeing if you two were ready yet," he said as he stepped in still wearing his pajamas. Obviously we weren't the only ones procrastinating.
"Not quite," I laughed, looking down at myself.
"Carmen is getting dressed now," he replied. "She said to ask you to come help her get dressed whenever you get a chance."
Since I was having no luck finding an outfit myself, I decided to go ahead and help her. "Yes sir," I smiled while saluting him as I walked towards the door.
I could hear Carmen singing as I made my way down the hall and when I got into her room I discovered her standing by her wardrobe turning up a glass of wine.
"Pregaming without me?" I asked as I walked over to her desk and picked up the bottle of wine she was drinking from.
"Of course not," she responded, stepping towards me. She moved a couple of things around on her desk until she found a wine glass hidden under a t-shirt. She sat her glass down, took the bottle from me, and poured me a rather large glass before refilling her own. "I know you need this just as much as I do. Cheers, darling sister," she clinked her glass against mine and turned her glass up before moving back to her wardrobe. "I have no idea what to wear. I don't even want to go. I want to lay on my side and eat."
"Thanks babe," I replied as I took the glass from her. "Cheers, my british twin," I laughed. The wine was delicious and I knew it was a bad idea for her to give me any of it as soon as I tasted it. "I am in the same boat with you, sister," I sighed, leaning against the wall by her wardrobe. "I'm sure we do need a bit of fun though. If we aren't into it we can always just come back home and lay on the couch while stuffing our faces."
"That's what Phil said," she told me while dancing around in place, sifting through the clothes in front of her. "I'm pretty sure he's right... Oh!" She pulled something out of her wardrobe and held it up. "This would look good on you," she looked over at me and started laughing. "Is it bad that sometimes I actually forget that we look exactly alike?"
I cracked up laughing. "Is it bad that sometimes I look at your butt in jeans or your boobs in a shirt and wonder if mine look like that? Cause I totally do." I reached out to take the black sweater dress she was holding up. "I really like this. I could wear it with some leggings and boots. Then Dan will wanna pounce me all night cause he loves it when I wear boots." I wiggled my eyebrows at her as I took a large sip of wine. "Dude what the hell kind of wine is this? I'm already buzzed," I laughed.
"Oh God." I turned around to see Phil walking in. "She broke out the magic wine, didn't she?"
"Magic wine?" I asked, looking between the two of them. Carmen was just grinning from ear to ear as she happily sipped her from her glass.
"Her parents gave her a ton of expensive wine they got from Italy and it's stronger than most wine you can get here. Be careful with that," he laughed. He walked over to Carmen and kissed the side of her neck before whispering something in her ear and then making his way into the bathroom.
"You two totally have like kink nasty freaky sex don't you?" I asked as I peeked into her wardrobe to see if I could see anything that would be good for her to wear since she wasn't having any luck yet.
She started laughing as she walked around me and over to her bed to sit down. "Pretty much," she admitted while making herself comfortable. "He only looks sweet and innocent... Or maybe he used to be before I put all of the thoughts into his head about tying me up and choking me," she shrugged and took another sip of her wine. "I'm going to be a sloppy mess tonight. I can already tell."
"Maybe you'll end up being a choked and tied up sloppy mess though," I told her as I walked over to her and handed her my glass of wine. I slipped Dan's shirt over my head and of course as soon as I was standing there in my bra and panties, Phil walked out of the bathroom.
I turned to look at him and he was standing there with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth staring at me like he was going to be in trouble or something. "Phil, I have the same body as your girlfriend. Seeing my like this is not a big deal," I laughed as I pulled the sweater dress over my head.
"You two really do way too much alike," he managed to say with his mouth full of toothpaste and his toothbrush as he walked back into the bathroom.
I cracked up laughing. "Awww. Did you see how bad he was blushing? Poor thing. I mean, I feel like Dan seeing you like that wouldn't be a big deal either because we're all best friends and they've both seen us naked and we look the same naked and oh my God I think I am drunk," I rambled as I took my glass back from her right before she almost started to take a sip of it. She was definitely on a mission to get shitfaced.
"It wouldn't be a big deal at all," she mumbled and stood up. With a sigh she walked back to her wardrobe and rubbed her hand down her face. "I'm just gonna make this easy on myself."
She closed her eyes and reached into her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of pants, flung them over her shoulder, then reached in again and pulled out a shirt. "Voila. I have something to wear now."
She moved over to her desk, sat her empty glass down and started to strip, accidentally flinging her shirt at my face in the process.
"Damn, babe. Nice ass." I looked over to see Dan standing by Carmen's door, eyeing her. "Where did you get those panties?"
Carmen looked over her shoulder at him and started laughing. "Phil," she responded, obviously too buzzed to care that he was looking at her.
"Oh," he shifted his eyes over to me and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought-" he cleared his throat, looking nervous while putting a hand up to shield Carmen from his vision.
I nearly spit out my wine laughing. "Baby, it's not a big deal. Phil just walked in and saw me in my undies. I mean, we look exactly alike," I gestured between Carmen and I with my glass of wine, "it's not a big deal. Right, Carmy?"
"Right," she agreed while jumping up and tugging at the top of her pants. "It's not like you saw something you've never seen before," she laughed.
Dan raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you drunk, Carmen?"
"Almost," she smiled, reaching up to pat his cheek. "Would you like a glass of my magic wine?"
"No thanks," he shifted his eyes between us. He looked kind of off, but I was a bit buzzed so I figured that was probably why.
"Oh shit. I forgot to put on my leggings," I said as I stood up from the bed. "Brb, sexy sexuals," I called out as I walked out of the room.
It took me awhile to search through the abyss that is my wardrobe and find my leggings but I finally did and then put on my favorite pair of knee high black boots. After putting on some earrings and touching up my make up, I was ready to go.
By the time I walked out of my room, everyone else was walking into the living room dressed and ready to go.
"You all look really hot," I commented as I looked them over.
"I know Carmen definitely does," Phil said as he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.
"Oh, you," Carmen grinned at him while wrapping her arms around his side, hugging him.
Dan's eyes traveled from my feet and up my body, a crooked grin on his lips. "If we weren't all ready to go, I would suggest skipping the party," he told me while stepping closer to me. He leaned down, pecked my lips, then put his arm around my shoulder.
The four of us left mine and Carmen's apartment. I decided that it would probably be best for Carmen and I not to have to walk long distances, so I got us a taxi that took us to Chris' flat.
When we arrived there were already loads of people there. I had met quite a few of them already at Dan and Phil's ugly Christmas jumper party so it wasn't completely awkward socializing with any of them. Though, it wouldn't have been even if I didn't know them because I had a pretty great buzz going on from Carmen's magic wine.
Chris had his place fixed up well for the party. There were lots of different kinds of lights all over his living room but it was still pretty dark, especially in places that didn't have some sort of black light or string of Christmas lights close by.
The first people Carmen and I were greeted by were Jack and Finn, who we hadn't seen since we made the video with them. Of course they insisted that the four of us do a couple of shots together and they went on about how we needed to make another video together and how I needed to start my own Youtube channel.
Dan and Phil were off somewhere. I have no idea as to where. I know Carmen and I would see them every so often and steal a kiss but the four of us were kind of doing our own thing. I think they were both happy knowing that we weren't wallowing in our misery.
Instead, we were drowning it. But whatever.
I'm not sure how much either of us had to drink but I couldn't feel my face and I'm fairly sure my eyeballs were floating because I had to pee so badly.
"We need to do a video together," Carmen nudged Chris with her elbow. "It will be fucking fantastic. Your videos are hilarious!"
Chris was obviously amused by her enthusiasm as she went on and on about the two of them needing to collaborate. "Lydia can join us too. We can come up with something great.. like... Well, I don't know what but it'll be- woah! I'm sorry!" In the midst of her excitement she had staggered around and nearly tripped over her feet and spilled quite a bit of whatever she was drinking on Chris' floor.
"Good thing I don't have carpet," he laughed. "We'll definitely figure something out, don't worry. But I'm gonna find something to clean this up with."
While watching my sister be hilariously drunk, my bladder decided it was time to give me that horrible feeling of threatening to fucking explode. I realized I had no idea where the bathroom was so I turned around to look for someone to ask and literally nearly ran into Phil who was approaching me.
"Phil!" I put my drink down on the counter and grabbed his shoulders. "I need the bathroom now or I'm gonna piss on the floor," I laughed.
"Oh God," he laughed as he took my hands off of his shoulders then grabbed my right hand before starting to pull me through all of the people. I was doing the 'I gotta pee' dance the entire way through the flat and thankfully no one was in the bathroom.
"Don't leave me. I'll be right back," I told him as I closed the door. Don't get me wrong, all of their friends were super nice but I wasn't comfortable enough to just walk around all of them alone just yet so I was being a baby and didn't want Phil to leave me to have to walk out of the bathroom alone.
After finally relieving myself and checking out my appearance in the mirror, I made my way out and thankfully Phil was leaning against the wall next to the door waiting for me like the good guy he was. "Aww, you're such a good bff," I told him as I reached up and patted the top of his head.
"I know," he sighed, grinning at me. "Come on. Let's go find Dan and Carmen. I feel like I've barely seen any of you since we got here."
He held his arm out for me to link arms with him and we started walking together through the flat.
There were quite a few people around and it was rather dark so it wasn't very easy to find them. I just started looking for Dan's head since he was taller than most everyone there.
"I hope Carmen didn't wander off into the wilderness. She's so wasted I'm a little-"
My sentence was cut off when Phil stopped abruptly and I ran into his back. "Ow! Your elbow hit my tit," I whined while rubbing my boob. When he still didn't say anything I looked up at his face to see that he had a look of complete shock and it looked like the color had just been drained from his face.
I followed his line of vision until I saw what the cause of that look was and I swear I think my heart literally stopped beating for a second.
We found Dan and we also found Carmen.
I watched as his hands moved from her lower back down to her ass before he pushed her against the wall. Her arms were wrapped around his shoulders as they were pretty much raping each other's faces in one of the dark corners of Chris' flat.
I didn't know what to think. I couldn't even process what I was seeing. But before I could put much more thought into it, the sight of them was blocked by someone's shoulders.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Phil's voice sounded out above the music and I literally jumped when I heard him. It was like someone flipped a light switch and the gravity of the situation actually hit me.
My boyfriend was kissing my sister.
My sister was kissing my boyfriend.
I felt like I was going to puke.
I couldn't move. I'm not sure that I was even breathing. All I could do was stare at what was happening in front of me.
I watched as Phil grabbed Dan's arm and jerked him away from Carmen. I had never, ever seen Phil like that and never thought I would.
Dan yanked his arm out of Phil's grasp and staggered back a little while giving him a dirty look. "What the fuck are you on about, Phil?"
"The fact that you're over here kissing my fucking girlfriend, Dan. That's what I'm on about!" he yelled while pointing towards Carmen.
"And why the hell were you kissing him?" he asked Carmen, looking over at her.
In case you're wondering, I still hadn't moved.
"I can't believe you two," Phil shook his head as he looked between the two of them. "So fucking disgusting."
"I didn't know it was Carmen, fuck. Take a fucking Xanax or something," Dan responded.
"Fuck you, Dan! What the fuck would you do if you walked up and saw me kissing Lydia like that?" Phil asked before looking over at Carmen. "And seeing as though I look nothing like Dan, I'm not sure what the hell your excuse is."
"I-"
"You seriously need to calm the fuck down, Phil," Dan yelled back at him. "I grabbed her and kissed her. It's not her fault and it's not like this is the first time we've fucking kissed. Been there, done that. So shut the fuck up and stop yelling like an idiot."
All I know is that it felt like someone punched the air out of me when I heard that and as if that wasn't bad enough, I watched and heard Phil's fist connect with the side of Dan's face.
Of course at that point people had gathered around and Chris and PJ jumped in before pulling Phil away. He jerked his arms away from them and turned to look at me before looking over at Dan who was looking at Phil like he was insane as he wiped blood off of his bottom lip.
"Since you're so interested in Carmen, you can go stay with her tonight and I'll take Lydia to my place. Something tells me she doesn't care to be with either of you tonight," Phil told him before walking back over to me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him so quickly I nearly tripped over my feet.
I think I had slipped into some other dimension. I couldn't even form a clear thought or words as Phil dragged me through the house along behind him.
I could hear Carmen yelling as we approached the door, though I couldn't make out what she was saying over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. She was silenced with a slam of the door before Phil grabbed my arm again and started dragging me towards the lift.
As soon as the door opened he dragged me inside and as the doors closed I could see Dan and Carmen coming towards them. Phil put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to look at him, his eyes searching my face.
"Are you okay? I'm so sorry you saw me act like that. I just snapped," he explained.
I swallowed hard and shook my head. "I don't know. I have no idea of-" I paused because I was literally at a loss for words. "I just don't think I can deal with this right now," I admitted, shaking my head as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Too much shit is happening."
"I know. I know. I'm so sorry," he replied just as the lift doors were opening. We walked out together but since he had calmed down he wasn't dragging me along behind him. He did hold my hand to make sure I didn't fall or anything once we got outside since I was drunk and wearing boots.
Dan's POV
I jabbed my finger against the down arrow by the lift over and over again even though, through my rage and drunken stupor, I knew it wasn't going to make the lift come back up any quicker.
I think I just needed some sort of way to vent my anger, because I was completely pissed.
"Come the fuck on," I groaned, hitting the side of my fist against the buttons.
"Dan, please, stop," Carmen grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away from the wall.
The music from the party got a little louder before it started to muffle and I heard a door shut from down the hallway.
I looked over to see Chris walking towards us carrying our jackets with one hand, the other raking through his hair.
"I figured you two were leaving," he said while offering us our coats. "Are you alr-"
"Do I look alright to you?" I blurted out, not meaning to throw my anger at him but it was very hard to control at that point. I let out a sigh as I took my coat and shook my head. "No, I'm not."
"I'm so sorry about that," Carmen shook her head. "I know it looks so bad but-"
Chris held his hand up, silencing her as she sloppily started putting on her jacket. "It's fine. I know you guys well enough to know shit like this isn't something that happens often. You don't have to explain yourselves to me. Just get home and sober up. Everything will be fine."
Oh, I was getting home alright and Phil was getting an ear full.
Chris excused himself from us just before the lift opened and Carmen and I stepped inside of it.
"Why the hell did you tell them what we did, Dan?" Carmen asked as she slumped against the wall of the lift.
I looked over at her and it looked like she was close to the point of passing out or something. It was obvious that she'd had way too much to drink.
I rolled my eyes at myself and let out a loud sigh.
I had no idea why I blurted it out. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. "I don't know," I shook my head. "Phil was being a complete idiot and overreacting and it just slipped out."
"He's going to break up with me and Lydia is going to move back to America and I'm going to be alone because we made out ages ago," with every word she said she hit the back of her head against the wall. "I don't know if he was overreacting, I mean we were making out but I didn't know it was you. I wouldn't snog you," she made a disgusted face. "That's like incest."
Oh yes, she was very much pissed. She was taking this all too lightly not to have been.
"I might puke so I'm sorry if I puke on you," she informed me.
Luckily the lift stopped and we stepped out of it before she could throw up on me.
"He isn't going to break up with you," I told her as we made our way down the steps and onto the pavement.
Carmen nearly toppled over so I wrapped my arm around her shoulders to keep her steady. "He loves you."
"I love him too," she responded, sounding pouty. Like a true emotional drunk. "Like really, really love him. I love Lydia too. I don't want her to hate me for this. And I love you and I don't want them to hate you for this either."
"He has no right to hate anyone over anything, and Lydia will understand," I responded.
In the midst of everything I hadn't really stopped to acknowledge the fact that Lydia could very well be just as angry as Phil.
I couldn't believe that he actually punched me, though. I couldn't even believe that he talked to either of us the way that he had. It wasn't like him at all.
While I understand that I had been kissing his girlfriend and that would make anyone unhappy, I still think that he over reacted.
"What if she doesn't? What if she-" Carmen stopped abruptly and I heard a very loud, very inhuman sound come out of her before puke splattered all over the pavement.
That alone added another five minutes to our trip back to my flat, as I had to try to keep her from falling while also trying to keep her from puking on herself or me. Then, I stopped by a Starbucks which happened to still be open and got both of us a coffee.
She needed something to try and sober her up because she was all over the place.
Now they were probably going to think we stopped and had a shag before coming home because the trip from Chris' took much longer than it should have.
Carmen ended crying at one point. I'm not sure why and couldn't really understand anything she was mumbling to herself between coffee sips.
When we got back to my flat I unlocked the door and started to push it open.
"What if he yells at me again?" Carmen asked, grabbing my arm to keep me from opening the door any further.
"Then I'll punch him in the face."
"No!" She shook her head. "Please don't."
I sighed and closed the door before leaning down to look at her. "This isn't your fault, just remember that, alright? If he can't wrap his head around it then-" I trailed off. "He's probably calmed down a lot. I'm going to explain to him what happened. It's going to be fine."
That seemed to do it for her and she let go of me and I opened to apartment door to walk inside.
The lights were off and by the time that I got to the switch to turn them on, Carmen had already stumbled into a chair and knocked it over.
"I'm sorry," she whispered from the ground, her cup of coffee spilled all over the floor around her.
"Don't worry about it. I'll clean it up later."
"Technically I can't say anything about you being here but really, Dan? After what just happened you thought it would be a good idea to come home and bring her?" he motioned towards Carmen then looked back up at me, his arms folded over his chest. I'm not quite sure that I had ever seen him the way he'd been acting that night.
"Yeah, I did," I responded, sitting my coffee down on the table before reaching down to help Carmen up since apparently Phil was still going to be a massive twat about all of this. "You didn't give anyone a chance to explain, you just started screaming and acting like a complete drunken idiot."
"Oh, and I'm sure that if you saw your best friend with his tongue down Lydia's throat that you would be incredibly cool, calm and collected. Remove your head from your ass, Dan. Really think about that and also think about what you've done to her. As if that girl wasn't already completely fucked in the head," he replied.
I let out a laugh as I glanced down at Carmen. I couldn't believe Phil was really going to go there right now.
"Yeah, well, you know she's not really the only one who is in that particular situation, you idiot. At least I can say that I have not ever and would never ever treat Lydia the way that you're treating Carmen right now," I picked up my coffee and took a drink while walking into the kitchen to grab the mop and some paper towels so I could clean up the mess on the floor.
He started laughing. "Oh, yes Dan. You're so much better than me in that department. Kissing your girlfriend's twin sister and then not even bothering to ask where she might be when you get here and she's not visible shows some great boyfriend skills." He held up his hands and gave me two thumbs up. "Great job."
I wanted to whack him upside the head with the mop but I somehow managed to keep my cool as I walked back over to where the coffee was spilled. Carmen picked her feet up off of the floor so I could start cleaning it and kept her gaze in Phil's direction with her head on the table.
"You're obviously man of the year," I rolled my eyes while laughing. "I've explained myself to you once and I'm not going to do it again," I informed him while turning to look at him. "Not that you would probably even give me a chance to since you're so quick to resort to punching people. Amazing social skills you've got there. Bravo."
"Dan," Carmen mumbled. "Please, just-" she sighed and rubbed her hand down her face. "Phil are you going to break up with me? Because I got a feeling that you are and I love you and I don't want that," she slurred while shaking her head. "Can you please say something to me?"
"I could give two flying shits about my bloody social skills right now. Until you are in a situation where you see your best fucking friend kissing the woman you've been in love with for half your bloody life and then you find out that it's apparently happened before then you have no right to tell me anything about how I reacted," he told me, looking more upset now than angry. In fact, he nearly sounded like he was about to cry.
He looked away from me and at Carmen and his expression softened completely. "We'll talk when you're sober. You need to sleep."
"It was one bloody time," I threw my hands up. "Back in Manchester when we were at Uni together," I motioned towards Carmen. "Back when you couldn't be bothered to notice her let alone speak to her. It's not something we get up to once a week and I sure as hell didn't do it so you could punch me in the face for it several years later."
"He's telling you the truth," Carmen said then burped. "Even though you probably trust me about as much as a policeman trusts a convict, it only happened one time and it was alcohol induced. Why do you think I always slept on the couch when I would come over?" She rambled. "I only want to kiss you. I'm in love with you."
Phil rubbed his hand over his face and sighed loudly. "Like I said, I'll talk to you tomorrow when you're sober. I'd like for you to remember what we say to each other," he told her before directing his attention to me again. "I'm done standing here explaining why I did what I did. I don't know why the fuck I was expected to have just reacted like a bloody dumbass who doesn't care about who his girlfriend is kissing. Maybe you should share Lydia with someone and see how it feels." He turned to walk down the hallway. "Speaking of, you might want to check on her and act like you give a shit since you've been too busy trying to make me seem like the bad guy for reacting the way I did."
"No one expects you to act that way but we might expect you to behave like you know and trust us enough to know that we'd never do anything that fucking shady," I told him while shaking my head. "Whatever, there's no getting through to you. I'm done trying. You can only see this one way," I rolled my eyes and glanced over at Carmen who was looking at us with heavy eyes. "I'll walk you back to your flat and if it's okay with you, I'll stay there tonight," I offered and she nodded.
I looked back at Phil who was still standing in the hallway and started towards him. There was so much bad tension in there that I just wanted to get the hell out as quickly as possible.
I brushed by him and went to my room.
I flipped the light switch on and was quite shocked to see Lydia curled up in my bed with her arms wrapped around one of my pillows. She was awake and I kind of froze up.
I knew I needed to talk to her, but if she was going to act anything like Phil was acting I'm not sure that it was a conversation I needed to have that night.
"Are you as pissed off as Phil?" I asked as I walked towards my bed, folding my arms across my chest. "I know we need to talk but I can't do it if you are. My face hurts, my head hurts, and I feel like shit. Like a piece of actual shit."
She looked up at me and I could see her eyes were filling with tears and her chin was starting to tremble. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," she responded, sounding nothing at all like her normal self.
"I didn't say that," I said softly as I sat down on the edge of the bed. I reached out and wiped away the tears that had already fallen. I was thankful I was still half lit or else I would have probably started crying too. The sight of her in tears was devastating. "I'm just not in the mood to argue anymore, that's all."
"I wasn't going to argue," she whispered as she wrapped her arms tighter around my pillow she was holding onto. "I mean, it hurt to see what I saw but I know you can't tell us apart and there's nothing I can do to change it." She sniffled and reached up to wipe the tears from her face. "I'm just so sick of all this stuff happening. I just want to be happy and I feel like every time I am it just gets ripped out from under me. I can't take this shit anymore," she told me, barely able to get the words out because of how she was crying while talking. It reminded me too much of the night she flipped out on me when I told her I loved her for the first time.
"Nothing is getting ripped out from under you," I shook my head and scooted closer to her. I reached out and started brushing her hair away from her face before moving my hand to wipe her cheeks. "What happened tonight was an accident and it was my fault. It's my fault that I don't even know my own ass from a hole in the ground and it's my fault for blurting out what I know you had no idea about and I'm so sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you like this."
"I know you didn't," she said as she rolled over so that she was lying on her back and she reached up to wipe under her eyes again. "It's just a fucked up situation. Carmen had to have known it was you and she went along with it and now I know about what happened before." She took a deep shaky breath as she covered her eyes with one hand and I saw her face sort of scrunch up like it did when she was about to cry hard. "I don't even know how to feel. It just hurts really bad and I hate it."
"I really don't think that she knew," I responded after falling quiet for a few minutes.
I was actually quite certain that she had no idea of who I was when I kissed her because if she knew, she wouldn't have responded the way that she did.
"She would never do that to you and she wouldn't do it to Phil... She was really drunk," I let out a sigh. "I know you don't want to hear about what happened in the past but it really wasn't anything. We drank way too much wine one night years ago and I can assure that it didn't mean anything to either of us. She and I are really close and I feel kind of conflicted because I don't want you to think that I'm only saying this because of that. She loves you, though, Lydia and I know she wouldn't hurt you like this on purpose."
"I know Phil and I don't have the same face but in a dark room after one too many drinks..." I trailed off and shrugged. "It's not like she came at me either. I grabbed her from behind. We'd literally only been kissing for five seconds when Phil grabbed me.. I know you probably don't want to hear about it but I feel like you deserve to know what actually happened instead of assuming the worst."
She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair but was silent for a few seconds after I said all of that. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she honestly looked completely drained. "Thank you for telling me," she replied. "Is she okay?"
"I think she's too drunk to really comprehend what happened," I told her while reaching out for one of her hands. "Phil wouldn't even talk to her about anything because of that."
When I took her hand she looked down at our hands together but she didn't really move for a few seconds. But then out of nowhere she pulled herself up so that she was on her knees and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, burying her face against my neck. "Could you just hold me for a few minutes," she whispered against my neck while basically clinging to me like it was the last time she'd ever see me.
"Of course," I whispered back to her, wrapping my arms around her to pull her onto my lap. "I love you, Lydia," I said while running my fingers through her hair. I wanted to stay like this for as long as possible but in the back of my mind I knew that I had to go. Even though all of us needed to have a serious chat, it would be best if we all had time to cool down from everything that had happened.
"I love you too," she whispered, her fingers running through my hair as well. A couple of minutes later she pulled back even though I could tell she didn't want to. "I'll let you go. I know you're not staying."
"Are you okay with me staying at hers?" I asked after placing a kiss against her forehead.
She shrugged and looked up at me with that damn look on her face that would make anyone turn to an emotional pile of mush. "I don't want you to leave me but I know she needs you more right now. It's okay."
"It's probably best that Phil and I don't sleep under the same roof tonight too," I leaned in and pecked her lips before I moved to stand. "I'll call you in the morning," I told her as I pulled the covers back on my bed to cover her up with them. "Just try and get some sleep, alright?"
"Okay," she said quietly as she crawled up the bed and then slipped under the covers and curled up on her side, wrapping her arms around my pillow again and pressing her face against it so that I couldn't see her.
I let out a quiet sigh as I turned on my little lamp and then walked towards my door. I looked at my bed for several seconds, watching her, before I flipped the light off and closed the door behind me as I stepped out of my room.
I walked down the hallway and looked into the kitchen to see Carmen sitting at the counter with her face pressed against it and Phil was standing next to her running his fingers through her hair as he looked down at her.
I felt tension just from seeing him and it was increased when he noticed that I was there.
Again, I couldn't believe that we'd actually argued and even more so, I was still shocked by the fact that I was now sporting even fatter safari lips because he had punched me.
I felt like I needed to say something to him about all of it so we could just get over it and this awkward tension would be done with but I knew it wouldn't do either of us any good. At least not until we both had time to get over what the other had done.
He cleared his throat and moved to walk around her when he saw me walk in. "I called a cab so you could get her home safely," he told me as he walked towards the living room without even looking at me. He sat down on the couch and turned on the tele without saying another word.
I leaned down and grabbed Carmen's shoulders, trying to wake her up. "Carmy, come on, get up."
"Phil?" She mumbled in response without moving. "I just want to sleep."
"It's Dan," I corrected her while trying to get her to stand. "You can sleep as soon as we're in the cab. I'm going to take you home."
She swayed around when she was finally standing and I had to put my hands on her shoulders to keep her from toppling over as we walked into the lounge.
I felt like Phil might throw something at me for even touching her and I was just waiting to feel the tv remote hit the side of my face.
"Where's Phil?" She mumbled again as she slowly staggered across the floor. "He was just talking to me."
She was completely oblivious to everything, obviously, because he was only a few feet away. "He's on the couch. He's going to stay here tonight. He'll come see you in the morning," I informed her.
She looked over at him and immediately tried to go towards the couch to him. "I love you. I don't want to leave," she mumbled. Of course her balance was nonexistent so she nearly fell and face planted on our coffee table, but I caught her before she could.
How the hell was someone so small so bloody heavy?
Phil got up from the couch immediately and walked over to help me with her. "I love you too. You'll see me in the morning or whenever you wake up," he told her as he wrapped one of her arms around his shoulders so that he could hold her up.
He helped me with her down to the lobby and out to the taxi with her mumbling things I don't think either of us could understand the entire way. He got her into the cab and kissed the top of her head before turning and walking past me without saying a word.
What an immature twat.
Just as he was walking by me I let out the loudest fart imaginable and started fanning it in his direction.
He turned and looked over his shoulder at me, a disgusted look on his face.
I smiled at him and turned to get into the cab behind Carmen. "Have fun smellin' my poops, bitches."